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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,852 --> 00:00:52,405 You were incredible. 2 00:00:53,061 --> 00:00:55,270 My heart is still racing. 3 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,480 I felt it too. 4 00:00:58,584 --> 00:01:00,517 All thanks to your brute strength, Dash, 5 00:01:00,620 --> 00:01:03,761 and your knowledge of ancient Aramaic mathematics. 6 00:01:03,865 --> 00:01:06,764 Please. This has nothing to do with my two doctorates 7 00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:08,939 and my master's in Gender Studies 8 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,805 and everything to do with you, Dr. Lovemore. 9 00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:15,152 The truth is, 10 00:01:15,256 --> 00:01:17,637 I never thought I would find the Lost City of D. 11 00:01:17,741 --> 00:01:20,675 I would choose your words carefully. 12 00:01:20,778 --> 00:01:22,539 They will be your last. 13 00:01:22,642 --> 00:01:26,405 You led me right to King Kalaman's tomb 14 00:01:26,508 --> 00:01:30,098 and his queen's legendary Crown of Fire. 15 00:01:30,202 --> 00:01:33,101 And now I will be very rich, 16 00:01:33,205 --> 00:01:35,897 and you will be very dead. 17 00:01:36,829 --> 00:01:40,212 Hold up. Are these-- Are these your snakes? 18 00:01:40,315 --> 00:01:41,937 No, they were just here. 19 00:01:42,041 --> 00:01:44,492 There were just hundreds of snakes in this temple 20 00:01:44,595 --> 00:01:46,459 just waiting for us to show up? 21 00:01:46,563 --> 00:01:48,668 Who feeds them? You feed them?No, what do they eat? 22 00:01:48,772 --> 00:01:50,981 Why is that one not biting that guy? Why is that happening? 23 00:01:51,084 --> 00:01:53,949 -Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something? -Yeah, well... 24 00:01:54,053 --> 00:01:56,331 I mean, the snake-to-temple ratio alone... 25 00:01:56,435 --> 00:01:58,885 This is ridiculous. Delete. 26 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,061 I-- I think my character can still work. 27 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,890 Delete. 28 00:02:03,994 --> 00:02:06,169 Loretta, you still have a story to write. 29 00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:08,171 Delete. 30 00:02:10,552 --> 00:02:12,416 Hey, it's me, Beth. 31 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,936 I don't want to pull the whole "I'm your publisher" card, but I am. 32 00:02:15,039 --> 00:02:17,387 And I'm really looking forward to seeing this last chapter. 33 00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:19,527 But no pressure. No, there actually is pressure. 34 00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:23,807 The exact amount of pressure that motivates you but doesn't paralyze you. 35 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,291 You got this. 36 00:02:26,844 --> 00:02:27,811 Thank you. 37 00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:29,951 Me again. 38 00:02:30,054 --> 00:02:31,918 Okay, so everything is set for the book tour, 39 00:02:32,022 --> 00:02:34,852 but, uh, the only thing we need is a book to tour with. 40 00:02:34,956 --> 00:02:37,096 I can't help but get the feeling that you're not finishing 41 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,650 because you don't want to leave your house. 42 00:02:39,754 --> 00:02:44,931 Listen, I know these last five years have been hard after John's passing, 43 00:02:45,035 --> 00:02:48,418 and it feels easier to live in your bathtub, 44 00:02:48,521 --> 00:02:51,179 drinking Chardonnay on ice. 45 00:02:51,283 --> 00:02:54,078 But, girl, there is a great big world waiting for you 46 00:02:54,182 --> 00:02:57,185 and a book tour that I can't cancel, so just make it happen, all right? 47 00:02:57,289 --> 00:02:58,531 Love you, bye! 48 00:03:17,550 --> 00:03:19,069 We have to keep going. 49 00:03:20,104 --> 00:03:22,590 Let's see what's on the other side of that door. 50 00:03:22,693 --> 00:03:24,799 But what if there isn't anything? 51 00:03:25,558 --> 00:03:27,629 There's only one way to find out. 52 00:03:28,527 --> 00:03:30,460 Then Lovemore realized 53 00:03:30,563 --> 00:03:32,841 the treasure she wanted was lost forever 54 00:03:32,945 --> 00:03:35,327 and her adventures were coming to an end. 55 00:03:35,430 --> 00:03:36,569 That doesn't feel right. 56 00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:38,468 Yeah, but that's it. 57 00:03:38,571 --> 00:03:40,021 That's the end. 58 00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:50,618 Well, John, 59 00:03:51,204 --> 00:03:52,309 here I go. 60 00:03:52,413 --> 00:03:54,691 Dulcius ex asperis. 61 00:04:01,214 --> 00:04:03,976 Okay, honey, it's showtime. -Are you sure about this? 62 00:04:04,079 --> 00:04:07,669 Because I have a wedgie in the back and in the front in this thing. 63 00:04:07,773 --> 00:04:10,016 I feel like a nerdy figure skater. 64 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,812 Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.No, it's not. It's not. 65 00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:14,849 -How do I move in this? -Don't touch it. 66 00:04:14,952 --> 00:04:17,161 I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.Stop it. Will you stop? 67 00:04:17,265 --> 00:04:19,440 Get it out now 'cause you can't do that onstage. 68 00:04:19,543 --> 00:04:22,235 And we're done. And we're done. Okay, good. 69 00:04:22,339 --> 00:04:24,237 Do I need to be wearing a glitter onesie? 70 00:04:24,341 --> 00:04:25,791 You only have to wear this for two hours. 71 00:04:25,894 --> 00:04:27,862 Do not mess this up, do you hear me? This is on loan. 72 00:04:27,965 --> 00:04:29,967 Everyone's wearing sequins right now. 73 00:04:31,486 --> 00:04:33,557 Why is she taking my photo?This is Allison. 74 00:04:33,661 --> 00:04:35,973 She is our new social media manager. 75 00:04:36,077 --> 00:04:38,907 And she's gonna be helping us target that younger demographic. 76 00:04:39,011 --> 00:04:41,496 Meaning women in their 30s who wish they were in their 20s. 77 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,118 Hey, what's up? 78 00:04:43,222 --> 00:04:46,570 Um, I took over your socials, so this morning you tweeted, 79 00:04:46,674 --> 00:04:51,851 "Where are my ladies at? Meet me at Ballroom G at- 00 p.m. 80 00:04:51,955 --> 00:04:53,405 #ShawnMendes. 81 00:04:53,508 --> 00:04:56,373 #GaggingToMeetYouAll." 82 00:04:56,477 --> 00:04:59,031 Okay, we are having fun. Let's go. 83 00:04:59,134 --> 00:05:02,103 We need to remind people that you are still alive. 84 00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:03,622 People know I'm alive. 85 00:05:03,725 --> 00:05:05,693 And to remind them why this used to be 86 00:05:05,796 --> 00:05:07,867 the best selling franchise.In Romance. 87 00:05:07,971 --> 00:05:10,594 Yes, which is the top revenue-generating literary category. 88 00:05:10,698 --> 00:05:13,563 Revenue-generating isn't how I would describe our presales right now. 89 00:05:13,666 --> 00:05:15,806 Just think of this as a way that uses word of mouth. 90 00:05:15,910 --> 00:05:17,532 Oh, you want word of mouth? Here we go. How's this? 91 00:05:17,636 --> 00:05:20,432 "The only thing more lost than the city is the author herself." 92 00:05:20,535 --> 00:05:22,295 "Loveless." "Passionless." 93 00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:26,299 Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh, "This is fake history at its worst." 94 00:05:26,403 --> 00:05:28,578 A book tour could change everything, okay? 95 00:05:28,681 --> 00:05:30,994 We have to remind the fans why they love you so much. 96 00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:34,687 Real history. I merely season it with a smidge more nudity. 97 00:05:34,791 --> 00:05:37,000 History had a ton of nudity. 98 00:05:37,863 --> 00:05:39,934 Deep exploration. 99 00:05:40,037 --> 00:05:42,523 Steamy wondering. 100 00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:47,666 Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen Taha's priceless Crown of Fire? 101 00:05:47,769 --> 00:05:49,564 Join them on their search. 102 00:05:49,668 --> 00:05:51,601 So, listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. 103 00:05:51,704 --> 00:05:52,947 There's so many people. 104 00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,190 I know how much you hate doing these things, 105 00:05:55,294 --> 00:05:58,021 so I've invited Alan to do the Q and A with you today. 106 00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:00,126 -What? -And the rest of the book tour. 107 00:06:00,230 --> 00:06:03,198 Beth, I expressly asked not to do any more events with Dash-- Alan, Alan! 108 00:06:03,302 --> 00:06:06,132 -He's gonna humiliate me. -He's not gonna humiliate you. 109 00:06:06,236 --> 00:06:09,273 Thank you. You're very good at your job. Thank you so much. Thank you. 110 00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:10,585 Let me help you with that. 111 00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:12,587 He is-- He's a body wash commercial. 112 00:06:12,691 --> 00:06:14,555 He's always glistening all over the place. 113 00:06:14,658 --> 00:06:17,558 There hasn't been an event where his shirt didn't come flying off. 114 00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:19,180 You wish. Well, he's already here, 115 00:06:19,283 --> 00:06:21,424 so put on your big-girl panties and let's get out there. 116 00:06:21,527 --> 00:06:24,703 Remember, no grumpy face, big words or boring academic talk. 117 00:06:24,806 --> 00:06:28,085 Yes! Yes! 118 00:06:28,189 --> 00:06:30,122 Come on, RTP! 119 00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:31,710 Ha-ha! 120 00:06:31,813 --> 00:06:34,057 Yes, my Lovemore-heads! 121 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,612 I am so excited to introduce to you 122 00:06:37,716 --> 00:06:41,547 the award-winning author, Loretta Sage! 123 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,205 Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.Are you kidding me? 124 00:06:44,308 --> 00:06:46,034 Listen, I've got your back. You got this. 125 00:06:46,138 --> 00:06:47,657 Go give the people what they want. 126 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,624 It's not me they want.Get out there now! 127 00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:56,010 Hi. How are you? Nice to see you. Thank you. 128 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,086 Yep. Mount it. 129 00:07:05,537 --> 00:07:08,436 Mount it. Mount it. Okay. 130 00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:10,231 Find your center. 131 00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:13,890 And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. 132 00:07:13,993 --> 00:07:15,754 The sexiest... All right! 133 00:07:15,857 --> 00:07:19,861 ...most influential hero of a generation. 134 00:07:19,965 --> 00:07:21,173 That's a bit strong. 135 00:07:21,276 --> 00:07:23,900 His 20th cover of an Angela Lovemore novel. 136 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,627 Dash McMahon! 137 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,600 Oh, my God! Dash! 138 00:07:57,278 --> 00:07:59,625 Take a bow.I already did mine. I did mine. 139 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,697 Okay, come on. One more. I got you. 140 00:08:17,712 --> 00:08:19,369 Did you guys rehearse that? Oh, my God. 141 00:08:19,472 --> 00:08:23,304 I'm loving this chemistry between you two, and I got to say, 142 00:08:23,407 --> 00:08:25,548 I love this book. 143 00:08:25,651 --> 00:08:26,721 Oh, thank you, Ray.Thank-- 144 00:08:26,825 --> 00:08:28,171 Spoiler alert. 145 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,552 A really bold choice 146 00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:31,588 to not have them go into the tomb at the end. 147 00:08:31,692 --> 00:08:33,314 Talk about what went into this one. 148 00:08:33,417 --> 00:08:36,869 I mean, this one's such a special book for me personally. 149 00:08:36,973 --> 00:08:39,803 I-- I don't know how to say how much it means to me 150 00:08:39,907 --> 00:08:42,012 that Loretta, word writer extraordinaire, 151 00:08:42,116 --> 00:08:45,153 has, you know, named the book after me. 152 00:08:45,257 --> 00:08:47,086 The Lost City of Dash. 153 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:48,294 The Lost City of D. 154 00:08:48,398 --> 00:08:50,642 Um, but that's not what the D stands for. 155 00:08:50,745 --> 00:08:53,334 It's D for "dick," right?No dick, no. 156 00:08:53,437 --> 00:08:56,544 It's based on the name of an ancient tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica. 157 00:08:56,648 --> 00:09:01,204 And, um, it was too difficult for the European colonizers to pronounce, 158 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:04,587 so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it.No one cares about this. 159 00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:06,416 That's so interesting. Okay. 160 00:09:06,519 --> 00:09:08,832 How about we take some questions from the audience? 161 00:09:08,936 --> 00:09:10,731 Right here, handsome!Yes. 162 00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:14,976 Dash, what's your favorite romantic moment?Ooh. 163 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:19,602 What I would really like to know is what is Loretta's favorite romantic moment? 164 00:09:19,705 --> 00:09:21,638 Ooh, spicy. 165 00:09:21,742 --> 00:09:23,675 Oh, uh... 166 00:09:23,778 --> 00:09:26,470 -Well, being a sapiosexual-- 167 00:09:26,574 --> 00:09:28,783 Oh, is that when they do the snakes around the... 168 00:09:28,887 --> 00:09:32,960 No. That's someone who finds, uh, intellect 169 00:09:33,063 --> 00:09:36,964 or intelligence, uh, very sexy, you know. 170 00:09:37,067 --> 00:09:38,172 Same. 171 00:09:38,655 --> 00:09:39,898 Really? 172 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:42,417 Dash! Rip off your shirt! 173 00:09:42,521 --> 00:09:46,249 No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today. We're here for Loretta's book. 174 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:48,216 Do we have questions for Loretta? 175 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:53,497 Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady? What would you like to ask me? 176 00:09:53,601 --> 00:09:55,638 Can you rip off Dash's shirt? 177 00:09:57,191 --> 00:10:00,021 No, no. We're not gonna do this again. Sorry. 178 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,645 Rip it off! Rip it off! 179 00:10:02,748 --> 00:10:05,061 Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off! 180 00:10:05,164 --> 00:10:08,892 Of course. Of course, yes. Can do. 181 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,136 Is this happening? 182 00:10:11,239 --> 00:10:12,965 You don't have to do this.Oh, we have to. 183 00:10:13,069 --> 00:10:15,140 We have to give the people what they want. Yes, yes. 184 00:10:15,243 --> 00:10:17,970 We have to give the people what they want, yes. 185 00:10:18,074 --> 00:10:21,318 Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy. 186 00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:26,082 Because The Lost City of D is Dash's final adventure. 187 00:10:26,185 --> 00:10:28,256 If there even is a next book, 188 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,466 it will open with Lovemore receiving the tragic news 189 00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:33,917 of his untimely death. 190 00:10:34,021 --> 00:10:35,401 What? 191 00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:36,955 Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck.Ow. Hold on. 192 00:10:37,058 --> 00:10:38,128 I know. Don't pull it. 193 00:10:38,232 --> 00:10:39,751 It's okay. Just be real still. 194 00:10:39,854 --> 00:10:41,269 No. That's pulling it.You're pulling it. 195 00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:43,962 You're gonna rip my wig off. No, you can't-- 196 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,346 Oh, my! 197 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:50,865 Oh, my God.Is he okay? 198 00:10:50,969 --> 00:10:52,591 God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 199 00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,352 -I'm so sorry. You're a bad person. 200 00:10:55,456 --> 00:10:59,702 Stick around for the costume contest at- 00 p.m. 201 00:11:00,564 --> 00:11:02,808 "If there is another book"? 202 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:07,813 I'm investing everything we've got into this tour, okay? 203 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,368 I just don't think I have another Dash and Lovemore adventure in me. 204 00:11:11,472 --> 00:11:12,853 How does Dash die? 205 00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:15,096 Was it the snakes?No. 206 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,547 Okay, so I have something that I have to take care of. 207 00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:20,101 You guys have an interview in the next suite in ten minutes. 208 00:11:20,205 --> 00:11:22,621 So can you please do me a favor and be grown-ups 209 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,243 and get yourselves there on your own? 210 00:11:24,347 --> 00:11:25,555 Okay. Thank you so much. 211 00:11:26,349 --> 00:11:28,420 Does he die from a staph infection? 212 00:11:30,387 --> 00:11:32,458 It is a staph infection. I knew it. 213 00:11:33,632 --> 00:11:35,013 I-I-- All right. 214 00:11:35,116 --> 00:11:38,188 Look, I get it if you need a break or something, 215 00:11:38,292 --> 00:11:40,294 but you can't just kill me, okay?Okay. 216 00:11:40,397 --> 00:11:44,781 I hate that I have to ask this, but you do know you're not Dash, right? 217 00:11:44,885 --> 00:11:47,059 Dash is a character I made up. 218 00:11:47,163 --> 00:11:48,405 Dash? 219 00:11:51,236 --> 00:11:52,478 Thanks. 220 00:11:52,582 --> 00:11:53,790 Thank you. 221 00:11:56,275 --> 00:11:58,553 Loretta, it's this way.No, I think it's this way. 222 00:11:58,657 --> 00:12:01,004 Can't you see that Dash means so much to people? 223 00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,972 Means so much to you.Not to me. 224 00:12:03,075 --> 00:12:04,732 Well, yeah, to me, but to other people too. 225 00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:07,804 What about Beth?You know what? Beth is gonna be fine. 226 00:12:07,908 --> 00:12:11,739 She's gonna find plenty fresh, young writers full of great ideas. 227 00:12:11,843 --> 00:12:13,845 You can transition gracefully 228 00:12:13,948 --> 00:12:16,295 into the shirt-on phase of your modeling career, 229 00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:17,745 and I can be left alone. 230 00:12:17,849 --> 00:12:19,574 Everybody is happy. 231 00:12:19,678 --> 00:12:21,473 No, it's this way. 232 00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:23,406 Beth says you don't even leave the house anymore. 233 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,546 I don't feel like that's very happy. 234 00:12:25,649 --> 00:12:28,549 You should be going out in the world, filling yourself up on new experiences. 235 00:12:28,652 --> 00:12:30,896 I'm already filled up. I'm full. I'm fully satiated. 236 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,348 Why would you want to be stuck at home alone when you could see the world? 237 00:12:34,451 --> 00:12:35,970 You could be visiting ancient Greece. 238 00:12:36,074 --> 00:12:38,973 Okay. How could I visit ancient Greece? 239 00:12:39,077 --> 00:12:41,113 I get it. Because you're afraid of flying. 240 00:12:41,217 --> 00:12:44,634 No. Because ancient Greece is in the past. 241 00:12:44,737 --> 00:12:46,291 Just like Dash. 242 00:12:46,394 --> 00:12:49,604 Okay. You want to know who else is stuck in the past? You are. 243 00:12:49,708 --> 00:12:52,469 You're so afraid of life hurting you again that you've stopped living. 244 00:12:52,573 --> 00:12:54,886 You're like a human mummy. 245 00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,406 I didn't, um... 246 00:12:59,683 --> 00:13:00,857 Oh. 247 00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:03,101 Mummies are human. 248 00:13:12,386 --> 00:13:14,353 Stupid-- Oh, crap. 249 00:13:15,423 --> 00:13:17,391 I'm so sorry. I-I will clean this up. 250 00:13:17,494 --> 00:13:19,980 I am not a litterer, I-I assure you that. 251 00:13:20,083 --> 00:13:23,569 Do you, um-- Do you think you could, uh, call a car for me, please? 252 00:13:23,673 --> 00:13:25,192 Thank you. Thank you. 253 00:13:27,953 --> 00:13:29,127 Bring the car around. 254 00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:30,680 God, is that someone's retainer? 255 00:13:30,783 --> 00:13:33,131 I've never said the right thing one time around her. 256 00:13:33,234 --> 00:13:35,167 I get nervous because she opens her mouth, 257 00:13:35,271 --> 00:13:39,723 and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness comes out, and I just never say-- 258 00:13:39,827 --> 00:13:41,139 You know she's trying to kill me? 259 00:13:41,242 --> 00:13:43,417 I just need those tomatoes. 260 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,868 You're right. No, you're right. 261 00:13:45,971 --> 00:13:47,455 I should apologize. Thank you, man. 262 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,802 I appreciate that very, very much.You're welcome. 263 00:13:59,951 --> 00:14:02,229 Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah. 264 00:14:07,441 --> 00:14:08,545 Uh-- 265 00:14:09,857 --> 00:14:11,065 Hiya. 266 00:14:11,169 --> 00:14:12,653 Uh, I did not order an UberPool. 267 00:14:12,756 --> 00:14:15,725 Someone wants to meet you. We'll have you right back. 268 00:14:15,828 --> 00:14:17,002 Um... 269 00:14:20,488 --> 00:14:21,765 Loretta! 270 00:14:21,869 --> 00:14:23,388 Loretta! Loretta? 271 00:14:26,287 --> 00:14:28,151 Uh, Loretta? 272 00:14:28,255 --> 00:14:30,843 Did you say "Loretta"?Yeah. 273 00:14:30,947 --> 00:14:32,155 Follow that SUV, man.No. 274 00:14:32,259 --> 00:14:34,019 Come on, please!No, no, no. 275 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:37,195 I'm not helping any more handsome strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm. 276 00:14:37,298 --> 00:14:40,612 What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"? 277 00:14:40,715 --> 00:14:42,131 Am I sold already? 278 00:14:42,234 --> 00:14:45,237 Am I-- Am I sold to him? 279 00:14:45,341 --> 00:14:49,000 Ow. Stop.Oh, no. Did this feel creepy? 280 00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:51,726 I said don't make it creepy, guys. 281 00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:53,659 I'm so sorry about the setting. 282 00:14:53,763 --> 00:14:56,352 I just flew in. I was in a real panic to meet you. 283 00:14:56,455 --> 00:14:58,526 I didn't have time to dress the place up much. 284 00:14:58,630 --> 00:15:01,426 I read you love cheese, so I just got them all. 285 00:15:01,529 --> 00:15:05,602 Are you the one who's been emailing me for photos of my feet? 286 00:15:05,706 --> 00:15:07,570 No. Um-- 287 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:11,988 And I promise what I'm about to show you is gonna make you very happy. 288 00:15:12,747 --> 00:15:13,956 But first, a little bit 289 00:15:14,059 --> 00:15:17,269 about the mysterious rogue you see before you. 290 00:15:17,373 --> 00:15:19,651 Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax. 291 00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:22,688 Abigail?It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly. 292 00:15:22,792 --> 00:15:26,485 Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax of the media-mogul Fairfaxes? 293 00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:30,627 Didn't you just take over your company or... 294 00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:34,666 No, that was my brother, actually. That was Leslie. We're all very proud. 295 00:15:34,769 --> 00:15:37,876 Ah. Yes, I should say so, at such a young age to-- 296 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,912 Some might even say too young. 297 00:15:40,016 --> 00:15:42,743 But that world never really interested me. 298 00:15:42,846 --> 00:15:45,435 My passions, as you may know, 299 00:15:45,539 --> 00:15:48,645 lie in the hidden things in the world, 300 00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:51,372 things which defy possession. 301 00:15:51,476 --> 00:15:54,513 Um, some might call me a collector. 302 00:15:54,617 --> 00:15:58,310 But there is one obsession in particular 303 00:15:58,414 --> 00:16:00,519 that has held me captive. 304 00:16:01,693 --> 00:16:03,177 The Crown of Fire 305 00:16:03,281 --> 00:16:05,662 and its cascading red diamonds. 306 00:16:05,766 --> 00:16:09,425 Is this a... Is this a hidden-camera thing? 307 00:16:09,528 --> 00:16:13,118 So imagine my surprise when, in your new book, 308 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,501 amidst the pages of coital reverie, 309 00:16:16,604 --> 00:16:17,433 was something... 310 00:16:17,536 --> 00:16:19,607 Oh, God....quite magnificent. 311 00:16:21,471 --> 00:16:24,026 I get it. I get it. I so get it right now. 312 00:16:24,129 --> 00:16:25,441 Oh, my gosh. 313 00:16:25,544 --> 00:16:27,719 I literally thought you guys kidnapped me. 314 00:16:27,822 --> 00:16:30,308 I mean, this is marketing, right? Beth set this up? 315 00:16:30,411 --> 00:16:33,311 This was so good, you guys. This was amazing. 316 00:16:33,414 --> 00:16:36,659 You, with your gun and your mustache 317 00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:39,731 and your, "You'd better get in there" and you know... 318 00:16:40,939 --> 00:16:42,458 Oh, my God. 319 00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:46,324 You, with the G.I. Joe tone-on-tone outfit. 320 00:16:46,427 --> 00:16:51,432 Your fictional archaeologist was making real translations of a dead language. 321 00:16:51,536 --> 00:16:54,435 Mm-hmm.Something nobody else has been able to do. 322 00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:56,955 Well, nobody else had ever tried. 323 00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:58,888 Is that right? Am I saying the right thing? 324 00:16:58,991 --> 00:17:00,648 Except you, right? 325 00:17:00,752 --> 00:17:02,719 Except me! 326 00:17:02,823 --> 00:17:04,549 Yes. See, it turns out 327 00:17:04,652 --> 00:17:07,966 Loretta Sage was once a young college girl doing her dissertation 328 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,934 on the dead language of the D with her future husband, 329 00:17:11,038 --> 00:17:14,145 dreaming of finding Kalaman's tomb and the Crown of Fire. 330 00:17:14,248 --> 00:17:17,355 I was sorry to read you gave up your search after he died. 331 00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:19,081 But what that means is, 332 00:17:20,358 --> 00:17:22,256 you're all I have left. 333 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,535 All-All you have left for... what? 334 00:17:25,639 --> 00:17:26,674 Hmm. 335 00:17:28,469 --> 00:17:29,712 Oh. 336 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,196 Here we go. 337 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,039 What is this? 338 00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:50,836 I believe it is describing the exact location of Kalaman's tomb, 339 00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:54,392 in which Taha and her priceless headdress are buried. 340 00:17:54,495 --> 00:17:56,635 Well, if this were authentic, 341 00:17:56,739 --> 00:18:02,089 you would still have to uncover an entire city 342 00:18:02,193 --> 00:18:05,230 that nobody has been able to find. 343 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,990 I found it. 344 00:18:07,094 --> 00:18:10,235 On a tiny, forgotten island in the Atlantic called Isla Hundida. 345 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:13,894 What I have not been able to find is Kalaman's final resting place. 346 00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:18,278 This piece of parchment is the only clue we found among the ruins. 347 00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:21,522 I need someone who can decipher these symbols. 348 00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:23,697 I need you. 349 00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:26,286 Well...Miss Sage, 350 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:29,772 surely this isn't how you want your story to end. 351 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,464 We both had our dreams crushed by bad luck, 352 00:18:32,568 --> 00:18:34,811 or in my case, an arse-kissing little brother, 353 00:18:34,915 --> 00:18:38,021 but this is our chance to show them all. 354 00:18:38,125 --> 00:18:39,713 Come with me... to the island. 355 00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:44,959 Translate these symbols and help me find the Crown of Fire. 356 00:18:45,063 --> 00:18:47,686 You can name your price. 357 00:18:50,310 --> 00:18:53,140 I must respectfully decline. 358 00:18:58,007 --> 00:18:59,215 Well... 359 00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:02,805 I can't say I'm not disappointed. 360 00:19:03,702 --> 00:19:06,188 But I understand how you feel. 361 00:19:09,536 --> 00:19:11,296 Will you at least let us give you a ride? 362 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,680 Oh, no, thank you. I'll call for my own car, and I'll just... 363 00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:41,015 I don't feel like you're listening to me. This is urgent, and we-- 364 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,053 Okay, so the police are saying that they put out an APB... 365 00:19:44,156 --> 00:19:45,813 APB....on an SUV, 366 00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:48,160 and there's this 24-hour rule...Why is there a rule? 367 00:19:48,264 --> 00:19:50,680 ...and they won't do anything until...What about the FBI or the CIA? 368 00:19:50,784 --> 00:19:52,751 -They said to call the police. -I'm sure Loretta's fine. 369 00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:55,444 When I was in college, my friend Nicki went missing. 370 00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:57,169 Everyone was, like, freaking out. 371 00:19:57,273 --> 00:19:59,620 But then she was just in her car. 372 00:19:59,724 --> 00:20:02,899 She was dead, but we found her. She wasn't gone. 373 00:20:03,003 --> 00:20:07,352 Um, what about... Maybe we could get a PI 374 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,975 or, like, you know, private security or-- 375 00:20:10,079 --> 00:20:11,977 What about an extraction team, like the movie? 376 00:20:12,081 --> 00:20:14,566 Yes! But who does that? The ex-military, right? 377 00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:17,259 Oh, yeah. I think I actually have somebody that could help us. 378 00:20:17,362 --> 00:20:20,331 -Oh. -I did this meditation retreat, 379 00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:22,505 and there was this trainer guy there. 380 00:20:22,609 --> 00:20:24,127 You should see this guy meditate. 381 00:20:24,231 --> 00:20:25,646 But he's ex-Navy SEAL. 382 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:29,547 He-- He's a special ops trainer. What was his name? 383 00:20:30,237 --> 00:20:31,376 Yeah. Jack Trainer. 384 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,102 So he's a trainer named Jack Trainer? 385 00:20:33,205 --> 00:20:35,380 That's how I have everybody in my phone. See, "Janice Mom." 386 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:36,933 "Larry Doorknob." "Stacy Butt Stuff." 387 00:20:37,037 --> 00:20:39,729 Look, this is what this guy does. He finds people. 388 00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:42,111 If there's anybody that can help us, it's him. 389 00:20:49,049 --> 00:20:51,569 Jack Trainer.Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer. 390 00:20:51,672 --> 00:20:55,573 Hi, uh, this is Alan from "Touching Your Inner Self." 391 00:20:57,057 --> 00:20:58,886 The meditation retreat? 392 00:21:00,612 --> 00:21:03,684 Anyway, uh, okay. Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped, 393 00:21:03,788 --> 00:21:05,237 and no one's helping us. 394 00:21:05,341 --> 00:21:06,825 How long she been missing? 395 00:21:06,929 --> 00:21:08,171 Maybe two hours now. 396 00:21:08,275 --> 00:21:09,587 Who is that? 397 00:21:09,690 --> 00:21:13,729 Um, this is B-- This is Beth. I'm Beth. 398 00:21:13,832 --> 00:21:16,248 And Allison is on too, sir. 399 00:21:16,352 --> 00:21:18,561 Did she have any Wi-Fi-enabled devices? 400 00:21:18,665 --> 00:21:21,564 -She's got her phone, right? -No, I have her phone. 401 00:21:21,668 --> 00:21:24,291 Oh! She has a smartwatch. It ripped my wig off. 402 00:21:24,395 --> 00:21:27,329 What was that scenario? Never mind. Open the phone. 403 00:21:27,432 --> 00:21:28,985 Go to the smartwatch app.All right. 404 00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:31,402 Then hit "Find My Smartwatch." 405 00:21:31,505 --> 00:21:34,439 Oh, my... That is so good. That's why we called. 406 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,993 "Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy." 407 00:21:37,097 --> 00:21:40,790 Is that Oprah or Deepak? Laozi fromTao-te Ching. 408 00:21:40,894 --> 00:21:42,102 Oh, my God. 409 00:21:42,205 --> 00:21:43,897 It's in the Atlantic. 410 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,348 She's on a plane? How can you tell that? 411 00:21:46,451 --> 00:21:48,626 'Cause she can't swim that fast. 412 00:21:48,729 --> 00:21:50,179 Doesn't sound like a ransom scenario. 413 00:21:50,282 --> 00:21:52,906 My guess is blood sport, Hunger Games type situation. 414 00:21:53,009 --> 00:21:55,840 Possibly some coke-fueled dark web scavenger hunt. 415 00:21:55,943 --> 00:21:57,980 Real clown shit. We'll have to move fast. 416 00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:01,017 -How do we pay you? -Cryptocurrency. Cash App. 417 00:22:01,121 --> 00:22:04,607 I'll have her back within 48 hours or your next rescue is free. 418 00:22:04,711 --> 00:22:06,195 How many people need a next rescue? 419 00:22:06,298 --> 00:22:07,817 More than you'd think. 420 00:22:07,921 --> 00:22:09,750 -I'm gonna need that phone. -I'll bring it to you. 421 00:22:09,854 --> 00:22:12,615 Let me know where she lands. I'll meet you there, Alan. 422 00:22:27,423 --> 00:22:28,666 Hello. 423 00:22:33,256 --> 00:22:34,396 Where am I? 424 00:22:34,499 --> 00:22:36,501 Um, you're on my plane. 425 00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:37,813 It's nice, isn't it? Hmm? 426 00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:39,746 The seats are made of mama llama leather. 427 00:22:39,849 --> 00:22:42,956 Well, I'm getting off your plane. 428 00:22:43,059 --> 00:22:44,440 Unchain me! 429 00:22:44,544 --> 00:22:46,097 That's your seat belt. 430 00:22:46,684 --> 00:22:48,548 Did you chloroform me? 431 00:22:48,651 --> 00:22:50,860 People actually do that? 432 00:22:53,242 --> 00:22:55,900 Well, you know, it's a classic for a reason. 433 00:22:56,590 --> 00:22:57,833 My body feels drunk. 434 00:22:57,936 --> 00:22:59,835 It'll wear off in a bit. I am sorry. 435 00:22:59,938 --> 00:23:02,354 I just couldn't wait around for you to change your mind. 436 00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:04,909 Stop playing jelly.Time is not on our side. 437 00:23:05,012 --> 00:23:07,739 You see, the volcano we're excavating around 438 00:23:07,843 --> 00:23:09,810 has developed a bad case of indigestion. 439 00:23:09,914 --> 00:23:11,778 I'm rather worried that when it blows, 440 00:23:11,881 --> 00:23:13,952 everything that's left of the Lost City will be destroyed. 441 00:23:14,056 --> 00:23:15,954 Oh, my God. My legs don't work. 442 00:23:16,058 --> 00:23:21,477 So, this is our last chance to find both the tomb and the crown. 443 00:23:21,581 --> 00:23:23,617 Oh, God. Oh! 444 00:23:23,721 --> 00:23:25,999 Don't worry. That's just our final descent. 445 00:23:26,102 --> 00:23:32,108 But it is the beginning of the greatest adventure of your life. 446 00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:42,800 Welcome to the Lost City. 447 00:24:52,430 --> 00:24:53,845 How did you find it? 448 00:24:53,949 --> 00:24:56,089 So, the city was built on a lava dome. 449 00:24:56,192 --> 00:24:58,885 As the volcano became active, the dome filled with lava, 450 00:24:58,988 --> 00:25:01,612 and sunken things rose to the surface. 451 00:25:01,715 --> 00:25:03,614 The D exposed itself. 452 00:25:03,717 --> 00:25:06,755 -The entire city? -No, no. Just the tip. 453 00:25:06,858 --> 00:25:10,068 As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins, I flew over and bought the place. 454 00:25:10,172 --> 00:25:13,451 The site?No. The island. The southern half. 455 00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:15,902 I got a good deal 'cause this is where the lava flows. 456 00:25:16,005 --> 00:25:18,249 We've been excavating for a year now. 457 00:25:19,319 --> 00:25:21,873 One doesn't kidnap a romance novelist on day one. 458 00:25:21,977 --> 00:25:24,013 Ah, yes, as the saying goes. 459 00:25:24,117 --> 00:25:27,120 Rafi doesn't like it. Do you, Rafi? 460 00:25:27,223 --> 00:25:30,399 He says we're disrespecting his heritage. 461 00:25:30,502 --> 00:25:33,747 But not a lot of other job options on the island, are there, Rafi? 462 00:25:33,851 --> 00:25:35,922 Beggars can't be choosers. 463 00:25:45,759 --> 00:25:47,589 No more charcuterie, I take it. 464 00:25:47,692 --> 00:25:49,798 Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster. 465 00:25:49,901 --> 00:25:51,731 Whatever you need, just shout. 466 00:25:53,249 --> 00:25:58,116 Uh, leave one hand free. She has some translating to do. 467 00:25:59,324 --> 00:26:00,567 And then what? 468 00:26:00,671 --> 00:26:03,190 Loretta, I really wish you would try and see 469 00:26:03,294 --> 00:26:05,434 what an exciting opportunity this is for us. 470 00:26:05,537 --> 00:26:09,438 I believe this text describes the exact location of the tomb. 471 00:26:09,541 --> 00:26:12,061 It's a logographic system. 472 00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:15,409 Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics. 473 00:26:15,513 --> 00:26:19,310 Now, if you have other documents that possibly I can compare-- 474 00:26:19,413 --> 00:26:20,691 Yeah, no luck there. 475 00:26:20,794 --> 00:26:23,590 We found some scratching at a nearby waterfall, 476 00:26:23,694 --> 00:26:24,591 but it was useless. 477 00:26:24,695 --> 00:26:26,248 Just pictures of women. 478 00:26:26,351 --> 00:26:30,942 Look, I, too, wish your dear old dead archaeologist husband 479 00:26:31,046 --> 00:26:33,773 was here to help, but he's not, so, 480 00:26:33,876 --> 00:26:36,983 time to shine, Loretta, sex-book writer. 481 00:26:38,398 --> 00:26:40,124 They will come for me. 482 00:26:40,711 --> 00:26:42,436 Who, exactly? 483 00:26:42,540 --> 00:26:44,266 Your-- Your many cats? 484 00:26:44,369 --> 00:26:46,164 Oh, I don't have cats. 485 00:26:46,751 --> 00:26:48,580 Somehow even more sad. 486 00:26:48,684 --> 00:26:51,653 I have a hamster, asshole! 487 00:26:51,756 --> 00:26:53,413 You have a hamster's asshole? 488 00:26:53,516 --> 00:26:57,279 No, there was a-- there was a comma between-- Forget it. 489 00:26:57,382 --> 00:27:00,800 I bet your brother never had to kidnap anyone! 490 00:27:32,521 --> 00:27:35,800 ♪ From the dusty mesa♪ 491 00:27:35,904 --> 00:27:40,218 ♪ Her looming shadow grows♪ 492 00:27:40,322 --> 00:27:43,705 ♪ Hidden in the branches♪ 493 00:27:43,808 --> 00:27:47,881 ♪ Of the poison creosote♪ 494 00:27:51,540 --> 00:27:53,128 Good to see you, man. 495 00:27:53,231 --> 00:27:54,854 Phone.Right. 496 00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:07,970 What? 497 00:28:08,074 --> 00:28:10,662 Yeah, I was thinking that I could, you know, 498 00:28:10,766 --> 00:28:12,354 maybe just sort of come with you. 499 00:28:12,457 --> 00:28:14,218 Why?To help. 500 00:28:14,321 --> 00:28:18,463 I know CPR. I know some light karate. CrossFit certified. 501 00:28:18,567 --> 00:28:20,086 Okay, okay, listen, listen! 502 00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:22,640 I just-- It's my fault. 503 00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:24,849 Not the kidnapping and stuff, 504 00:28:24,953 --> 00:28:28,025 but, like, I said some really mean stuff to her, and I regret it, 505 00:28:28,128 --> 00:28:29,751 and I just need to take it back. 506 00:28:29,854 --> 00:28:31,235 I called her a human mummy. 507 00:28:32,581 --> 00:28:33,996 Mummies are human. 508 00:28:34,652 --> 00:28:37,068 I'm aware of that now, yes. 509 00:28:37,172 --> 00:28:40,209 That is true. 510 00:28:40,313 --> 00:28:41,314 Please. 511 00:28:42,591 --> 00:28:45,283 All right, Alan, I can't be responsible for you. 512 00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:47,251 Okay. Yeah. 513 00:28:47,354 --> 00:28:50,323 I need you to stay in the car.Yeah. 514 00:28:50,426 --> 00:28:52,532 In the car.In the car. 515 00:28:52,635 --> 00:28:55,086 The whole time.The whole time? 516 00:28:55,190 --> 00:28:56,432 Whole time. 517 00:28:56,536 --> 00:28:57,779 Mm-hmm. 518 00:28:59,539 --> 00:29:00,816 Yes! 519 00:29:07,754 --> 00:29:09,100 This is me. 520 00:29:09,998 --> 00:29:12,276 Really? Is this what the SEAL teams use? 521 00:29:12,379 --> 00:29:15,037 "Only a fool chooses a horse by its color." 522 00:29:15,141 --> 00:29:17,937 Right, right. The Tao-te Ching? 523 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:21,181 No, it was on the sign back there at the rental place. 524 00:29:29,707 --> 00:29:30,915 Thank you. 525 00:29:35,471 --> 00:29:41,305 ♪ I once had a life Or rather, life had me♪ 526 00:29:41,408 --> 00:29:44,411 ♪ I was one among many♪ 527 00:29:44,515 --> 00:29:47,967 ♪ Or at least I seemed to be♪ 528 00:29:48,070 --> 00:29:54,905 ♪ Well, I read an old quotation In a book just yesterday♪ 529 00:29:55,008 --> 00:29:57,942 ♪ Said "Gonna reap just what you sow♪ 530 00:29:58,046 --> 00:30:01,256 ♪ The debts you make You have to pay"♪ 531 00:30:01,359 --> 00:30:03,085 ♪ Can you get to that?♪ 532 00:30:03,741 --> 00:30:05,191 What? What? 533 00:30:07,434 --> 00:30:09,436 I was hoping to invite you to breakfast, 534 00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:12,198 but it looks like you still have work to do. 535 00:30:13,164 --> 00:30:14,925 Uh, wait, wait, wait. 536 00:30:15,028 --> 00:30:16,547 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. 537 00:30:16,650 --> 00:30:18,652 I believe this says 538 00:30:18,756 --> 00:30:20,758 "rest" or "resting." 539 00:30:20,862 --> 00:30:23,761 So it would be, "Kalaman and his treasure..." 540 00:30:23,865 --> 00:30:28,352 And then there are some missing pieces, and then "rest," "resting," 541 00:30:28,455 --> 00:30:31,873 and something about "tears," so... 542 00:30:33,667 --> 00:30:34,668 Resting where? 543 00:30:34,772 --> 00:30:35,980 Hmm? Oh! 544 00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:38,845 Didn't say. It doesn't say. 545 00:30:40,191 --> 00:30:43,194 Miss Sage, I need you to do better. 546 00:30:43,298 --> 00:30:46,749 Then next time maybe don't kidnap a romance novelist, hmm? 547 00:30:46,853 --> 00:30:49,062 My God, this shouldn't be this hard! 548 00:30:49,166 --> 00:30:51,099 It is not some pauper's grave we're looking for. 549 00:30:51,202 --> 00:30:53,480 It is a monument to a great man! 550 00:30:53,584 --> 00:30:55,517 King Kalaman was ambitious, he was powerful, 551 00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:58,071 he was the first man to build a city in the Atlantic. 552 00:30:58,175 --> 00:31:00,832 The eyes of his subjects would have turned to him. 553 00:31:00,936 --> 00:31:04,181 He would have had a pyramid, a ziggurat, a tower 554 00:31:04,284 --> 00:31:06,252 to hold his Crown of Fire. 555 00:31:06,355 --> 00:31:09,255 All I need to know is where it is. 556 00:31:09,358 --> 00:31:12,603 I don't know if you recall, but you only said translate it. 557 00:31:12,706 --> 00:31:14,846 I-I translated it. 558 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,228 Translate it again. 559 00:31:22,854 --> 00:31:25,892 One day, we're gonna laugh about this. 560 00:31:25,996 --> 00:31:28,136 Such an adventure we're having. 561 00:31:31,242 --> 00:31:35,591 I should go with you, just for backup and awesomeness. 562 00:31:36,558 --> 00:31:38,215 This is pretty awesome. 563 00:31:38,318 --> 00:31:40,976 You got nature, the radio. 564 00:31:42,115 --> 00:31:45,739 Yeah, you're right, but it's very, very important to me 565 00:31:45,843 --> 00:31:47,707 that she knows that I came to rescue her. 566 00:31:47,810 --> 00:31:49,502 Why? Do you like this woman? 567 00:31:50,503 --> 00:31:52,712 No, I just brought snacks and stuff. 568 00:31:52,815 --> 00:31:54,990 And she gets a little grumpy when she's hungry. 569 00:31:55,094 --> 00:31:58,511 Blood pressure drops. And I get that because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy. 570 00:31:58,614 --> 00:32:01,410 Do you keto, by the way? You look like you keto. 571 00:32:01,514 --> 00:32:03,205 No.No. Yeah. 572 00:32:03,309 --> 00:32:05,035 You don't need it. 573 00:32:05,138 --> 00:32:06,622 What is it? 574 00:32:06,726 --> 00:32:10,316 I just want her to think of me as more than a cover model. 575 00:32:10,419 --> 00:32:14,665 But, Alan, you are so much more. You're my lookout. 576 00:32:14,768 --> 00:32:18,117 Okay, can I at least do the part where I put her in the car 577 00:32:18,220 --> 00:32:21,948 and I just go, "Shh. You're safe now"? 578 00:32:23,018 --> 00:32:25,020 Sure, champ. She'll love that. 579 00:32:25,124 --> 00:32:26,988 Oh, you're just going? Going to start? 580 00:32:27,091 --> 00:32:29,507 You're starting the mission now? Okay. 581 00:32:53,704 --> 00:32:55,913 Oh! 582 00:33:04,956 --> 00:33:06,441 Go to sleep. 583 00:33:06,544 --> 00:33:08,201 ♪ Take a little walk To the edge of town♪ 584 00:33:08,305 --> 00:33:11,032 ♪ And go across the tracks♪ 585 00:33:12,378 --> 00:33:16,485 ♪ Where the viaduct looms Like a bird of doom♪ 586 00:33:16,589 --> 00:33:20,696 ♪ As it shifts and cracks♪ 587 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:26,564 ♪ Where secrets lie In the border fires In the humming wires♪ 588 00:33:26,668 --> 00:33:29,809 ♪ Hey, man, you know You're never coming back♪ 589 00:33:29,912 --> 00:33:32,122 ♪ Past the square Past the bridge♪ 590 00:33:32,225 --> 00:33:35,159 ♪ Past the mills Past the stacks♪ 591 00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:36,402 Alan.What? 592 00:33:36,505 --> 00:33:38,266 This is a breach of trust, Alan. 593 00:33:38,369 --> 00:33:39,922 I can help. Let me help. 594 00:33:40,026 --> 00:33:43,202 ♪ A tall handsome man In a dusty black coat♪ 595 00:33:43,305 --> 00:33:45,963 Stay close. Stay alive. 596 00:33:50,830 --> 00:33:52,073 Hey. 597 00:33:54,489 --> 00:33:56,905 ♪ He'll wrap you in his arms♪ 598 00:33:57,008 --> 00:33:58,527 Go to sleep. 599 00:33:58,631 --> 00:34:00,805 ♪ Tell you that you've Been a good boy♪ 600 00:34:00,909 --> 00:34:05,016 I got his head. What do I do with his head? I'm just gonna set him down. 601 00:34:11,161 --> 00:34:12,369 No. 602 00:34:12,955 --> 00:34:14,129 Hey, hey, no! 603 00:34:14,233 --> 00:34:15,441 No, no, no! 604 00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:19,790 ♪ There won't be a single thing That you can do♪ 605 00:34:19,893 --> 00:34:22,896 ♪ He's a god, he's a man He's a ghost, he's a guru♪ 606 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,829 Ooh, yeah! Ooh. 607 00:34:24,933 --> 00:34:25,899 Ow. 608 00:34:26,003 --> 00:34:27,556 Teamwork, yeah! 609 00:34:27,660 --> 00:34:30,939 Great effort, Alan, but that man was already unconscious. 610 00:34:31,042 --> 00:34:32,734 I was already wound up. 611 00:34:33,666 --> 00:34:36,427 Just don't do it when I'm... 612 00:34:39,499 --> 00:34:40,776 Hi. 613 00:34:43,020 --> 00:34:44,746 -Oh! 614 00:34:46,023 --> 00:34:47,645 On your seven! 615 00:34:52,581 --> 00:34:53,651 Oh! 616 00:34:58,449 --> 00:35:00,382 Trainer, he's not asleep! 617 00:35:00,486 --> 00:35:02,660 Stay-- Stay down. Stay down. 618 00:35:05,318 --> 00:35:07,838 -You're doing great. -Thanks. 619 00:35:07,941 --> 00:35:09,460 Where you going? 620 00:35:09,564 --> 00:35:12,325 ♪ Through the ghettos And the barrio♪ 621 00:35:12,429 --> 00:35:14,948 ♪ And the Bowery and the slums♪What? 622 00:35:17,606 --> 00:35:19,090 Loretta Sage? 623 00:35:19,574 --> 00:35:20,368 Yes. 624 00:35:20,471 --> 00:35:22,335 I'm getting you out of here. 625 00:35:23,371 --> 00:35:26,408 Why are you so handsome?My dad was a weatherman. 626 00:35:28,617 --> 00:35:29,446 A-Alan? 627 00:35:29,549 --> 00:35:31,586 Yeah.What are you doing here? 628 00:35:31,689 --> 00:35:34,485 -Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you. -That's not... 629 00:35:34,589 --> 00:35:36,832 -I think he meant "regardless." -Yes. 630 00:35:38,248 --> 00:35:42,217 Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there, Trainer? I think she's fine there. 631 00:35:42,321 --> 00:35:45,496 No, no, leave it. Don't take their stuff. They'll come after us. 632 00:35:48,154 --> 00:35:49,707 Alan, why do you keep doing that? 633 00:35:49,811 --> 00:35:51,778 Why do you keep doing that? I had that one. 634 00:35:51,882 --> 00:35:54,402 It's just getting mean now. It's unnecessary. 635 00:35:54,505 --> 00:35:56,266 I'm sorry. I just wanted to get one in. 636 00:35:56,369 --> 00:35:59,441 -Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair? -No time. 637 00:35:59,545 --> 00:36:01,961 -No time? There's been so much chitchat. 638 00:36:02,064 --> 00:36:03,376 We should definitely go. 639 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,102 Let's go! Let's go! 640 00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:08,174 ♪ We're running with The shadows of the night♪ 641 00:36:08,278 --> 00:36:12,454 ♪ So, baby, take my hand It'll be all right♪ 642 00:36:12,558 --> 00:36:16,562 ♪ They'll come true in the end♪ 643 00:36:30,955 --> 00:36:32,094 Why are things exploding? 644 00:36:39,757 --> 00:36:40,793 I got-- 645 00:36:42,450 --> 00:36:43,658 Okay. 646 00:36:44,555 --> 00:36:45,832 Shh... 647 00:36:45,936 --> 00:36:47,834 Shh. You're safe now. 648 00:36:47,938 --> 00:36:49,077 You're... 649 00:36:49,180 --> 00:36:51,321 How-- How are you so calm? 650 00:36:51,424 --> 00:36:53,909 That was my-- That was my line.Here. 651 00:36:56,049 --> 00:36:57,948 What?Is that Reiki? 652 00:36:58,051 --> 00:37:00,502 Are you healing me?I think so. 653 00:37:00,606 --> 00:37:03,816 -Ah. -As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..." 654 00:37:03,919 --> 00:37:06,819 "...the whole universe surrenders."Hey, yeah, I know some-- 655 00:37:06,922 --> 00:37:09,718 I know some, um, quotes that could be good for this moment. 656 00:37:09,822 --> 00:37:11,548 In omnia paratus. 657 00:37:12,445 --> 00:37:14,309 "Ready for anything." 658 00:37:14,413 --> 00:37:17,070 Maybe we shouldn't be just staring lovingly into each other's eyes 659 00:37:17,174 --> 00:37:20,626 like you're gonna fall in love like I'm not here. 660 00:37:21,178 --> 00:37:22,144 Who are you? 661 00:37:22,248 --> 00:37:24,975 Just a guy trying to do his job. 662 00:37:25,078 --> 00:37:27,874 And right now, that job is to get this lovely lady-- 663 00:37:28,703 --> 00:37:30,221 Oh! Oh. 664 00:37:30,325 --> 00:37:32,223 Oh, God. Okay. 665 00:37:33,397 --> 00:37:35,606 -No. What is happening? 666 00:37:39,058 --> 00:37:41,025 Okay. What do we do? 667 00:37:41,129 --> 00:37:43,234 We need to do-- I can't see. 668 00:37:43,338 --> 00:37:44,753 I don't like it! 669 00:37:44,857 --> 00:37:46,341 Here. Here! 670 00:37:46,445 --> 00:37:48,895 -Why would you throw a gun? -Seriously? 671 00:37:50,276 --> 00:37:53,106 Get me out of the chair.I can't. We don't have time. 672 00:37:56,662 --> 00:37:58,733 Gotta squeeze! You got to do a Kegel or something! 673 00:37:58,836 --> 00:38:01,218 -Kegel it! -What do you think a Kegel is? 674 00:38:01,322 --> 00:38:03,703 I'm not in it, not in! Still not in! 675 00:38:03,807 --> 00:38:06,188 -You got to go in more. -Stop. Stop. Stop it! 676 00:38:06,292 --> 00:38:08,294 Oh, oh, oh! 677 00:38:08,398 --> 00:38:11,918 Oh, God. Get in the car, get in the car! Start the car! Start the car! 678 00:38:12,022 --> 00:38:13,299 -Go, go. -Move your leg. 679 00:38:13,403 --> 00:38:15,715 Which one?Both of them! Move them! 680 00:38:19,478 --> 00:38:21,445 Forward, forward!Okay. Okay. 681 00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:25,863 -I'm going! I'm going! Okay! -Drive! 682 00:38:27,002 --> 00:38:30,627 Shh. You're safe now. Shh. 683 00:38:32,283 --> 00:38:33,664 Ow. 684 00:38:33,768 --> 00:38:35,908 Shh. You're safe now.No, I'm not. Not safe. 685 00:38:36,011 --> 00:38:37,772 Oh, no, am I bleeding? 686 00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:40,878 -I don't think that's yours. -Oh, no, that's a lot of blood. 687 00:38:42,190 --> 00:38:44,019 Cheese and rice! 688 00:38:44,123 --> 00:38:45,607 Are those his brains?What? 689 00:38:45,711 --> 00:38:47,678 I think his brains are on my face! 690 00:38:47,782 --> 00:38:51,406 Definitely his brains are in my mouth. I can taste his thoughts! 691 00:38:51,510 --> 00:38:52,718 Focus on the road. 692 00:38:52,821 --> 00:38:54,961 He just liked training people. Trainer. 693 00:38:55,065 --> 00:38:57,930 -What are you talking about? -He loved me. 694 00:38:58,033 --> 00:39:00,622 Can you just scooch the car over to the left? 695 00:39:00,726 --> 00:39:04,454 Get it off. Get it off.Oh, God. 696 00:39:04,557 --> 00:39:05,834 Watch out! 697 00:39:10,045 --> 00:39:12,945 Oh! Oh! Oh! 698 00:39:15,188 --> 00:39:16,949 Oh, did you see... 699 00:39:19,917 --> 00:39:20,953 No. 700 00:39:26,372 --> 00:39:27,684 Oh. 701 00:39:29,133 --> 00:39:31,446 Oh, no. Oh, no. 702 00:39:31,998 --> 00:39:33,483 Oh, no. 703 00:39:41,905 --> 00:39:43,458 Oh, no. 704 00:39:46,047 --> 00:39:49,637 Oh, holy Christmas. Are you okay? Are you okay? 705 00:39:49,740 --> 00:39:51,811 Do you think you could get me out of here? 706 00:39:51,915 --> 00:39:53,468 Yeah. Okay. 707 00:39:53,572 --> 00:39:56,471 You just flew out of the car.I did. I did, indeed. 708 00:39:56,575 --> 00:39:58,024 Okay. I got you. I got you. 709 00:39:58,128 --> 00:40:00,579 Can you get me out of the chair? Get me out of the chair. 710 00:40:00,682 --> 00:40:02,512 You're right. You're right. You're right. 711 00:40:03,858 --> 00:40:05,687 Is that-- Is that a nail filer?Yeah. 712 00:40:05,791 --> 00:40:07,275 Can you just rip it?It's working. 713 00:40:07,378 --> 00:40:09,173 And maybe next time I toss a gun at you, 714 00:40:09,277 --> 00:40:11,175 you can catch it instead of ducking. 715 00:40:11,279 --> 00:40:14,489 How about the next time you toss a gun at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"? 716 00:40:14,593 --> 00:40:16,457 Then maybe do that before you throw it? 717 00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,666 Well, "here" is a synonym for "catch." 718 00:40:18,769 --> 00:40:20,288 No, "here" is not a cinnamon for "catch." 719 00:40:20,391 --> 00:40:22,463 In a colloquial kind of way, yes, it is. 720 00:40:22,566 --> 00:40:24,672 You say, "Here," I toss you a sweatshirt. 721 00:40:24,775 --> 00:40:26,777 You say, "Here," I toss you a pen. 722 00:40:26,881 --> 00:40:29,953 How 'bout just, "Hey! Catch! Gun!" 723 00:40:30,056 --> 00:40:33,059 Anything that you want to throw, I'll catch it because you said, "Catch." 724 00:40:33,163 --> 00:40:34,923 And I'll catch it because you said it. 725 00:40:35,027 --> 00:40:37,443 That is also an option, and then we would have a gun with us. 726 00:40:37,547 --> 00:40:38,651 That's a thing. 727 00:40:38,755 --> 00:40:41,033 Be careful.Okay, we need to call-- 728 00:40:41,136 --> 00:40:42,793 Be careful. 729 00:40:42,897 --> 00:40:45,416 We need to call for help, get to the airport and get out of here. 730 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,522 And I am driving.Okay. 731 00:40:49,731 --> 00:40:52,596 Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh! 732 00:41:02,330 --> 00:41:04,712 Okay, call for-- call for help. 733 00:41:04,815 --> 00:41:06,610 Where's your phone? 734 00:41:09,993 --> 00:41:11,028 Okay. 735 00:41:14,653 --> 00:41:17,483 -Tell me you caught them. -I tagged the blond one. 736 00:41:19,140 --> 00:41:21,970 Oh, Loretta. 737 00:41:22,074 --> 00:41:24,145 What are you thinking? 738 00:41:24,248 --> 00:41:27,355 You might've killed one of them, but his partner's still with her. 739 00:41:27,458 --> 00:41:31,117 And he is clearly skilled, highly trained 740 00:41:32,118 --> 00:41:33,775 and very dangerous. 741 00:41:43,578 --> 00:41:47,651 So, Miss Sage said she was gonna leave the event, 742 00:41:47,755 --> 00:41:52,414 then got in a car and left the event? 743 00:41:52,518 --> 00:41:55,210 -Did you try calling her? -She doesn't have her phone. 744 00:41:55,314 --> 00:41:56,729 Stolen phone.Didn't say that. 745 00:41:56,833 --> 00:41:58,593 Where's my magnifier? 746 00:41:58,697 --> 00:42:00,699 Listen, can you please help with Nana? 747 00:42:00,802 --> 00:42:03,184 I don't want her hearing about Loretta 'cause it's going to upset her. 748 00:42:03,287 --> 00:42:06,359 -What about Loretta? -Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip. 749 00:42:06,463 --> 00:42:07,740 Yeah. 750 00:42:07,844 --> 00:42:10,294 That girl needed to get out of the house. 751 00:42:10,398 --> 00:42:14,575 So, this is the thing. Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it. 752 00:42:14,678 --> 00:42:19,131 I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer. 753 00:42:19,234 --> 00:42:21,512 And that is how we found her wearable. 754 00:42:21,616 --> 00:42:23,307 And who's Alan?Dash. 755 00:42:23,411 --> 00:42:26,241 -What's that? -He's the hero in all of her books. 756 00:42:26,345 --> 00:42:29,382 -Nana. Hey, slut. -Mm-mmm. 757 00:42:29,486 --> 00:42:32,420 Let's go in the other room and talk about whichever war you lived through. 758 00:42:32,523 --> 00:42:35,665 Okay. Come on, it'll be fun. I'm sorry. It'll be fun. 759 00:42:35,768 --> 00:42:37,701 Listen, Loretta Sage is missing. 760 00:42:37,805 --> 00:42:40,014 When I looked at her smartwatch, it said that she had flown 761 00:42:40,117 --> 00:42:41,774 to some island I've never even heard about. 762 00:42:41,878 --> 00:42:43,604 That means y'all need to do something about this. 763 00:42:43,707 --> 00:42:46,089 And if you can't, I will, and that won't look good for you. 764 00:42:46,192 --> 00:42:48,919 Pretty sure that's outside our jurisdiction. 765 00:42:49,023 --> 00:42:52,060 -You'd have to call the Feds. -Okay. 766 00:42:52,164 --> 00:42:54,545 And if you do go to the Feds, put in a good word for me. 767 00:42:54,649 --> 00:42:57,031 For me.For us. 768 00:43:02,657 --> 00:43:04,176 Oh, oh. 769 00:43:11,217 --> 00:43:13,461 What are you gonna do, put the car back together? 770 00:43:13,564 --> 00:43:15,774 Well... we could-- 771 00:43:31,686 --> 00:43:34,378 Where did you say the phone was?Passenger glove. 772 00:43:34,482 --> 00:43:36,242 What?Passenger glove compartment. 773 00:43:36,346 --> 00:43:37,588 Goodness. 774 00:43:38,693 --> 00:43:40,212 Oh, my God. 775 00:43:40,315 --> 00:43:42,559 Oh, my God. No phone, no car. We're so gonna die out-- 776 00:43:42,663 --> 00:43:44,388 Here.What is this? 777 00:43:44,492 --> 00:43:46,149 Boots for the jungle. 778 00:43:47,012 --> 00:43:48,841 It's not exactly hiking boots, but... 779 00:43:48,945 --> 00:43:51,602 I figured your feet would be killing you after wearing heels for this long. 780 00:43:51,706 --> 00:43:54,053 It was the best we could do. They're Allison's. Sorry. 781 00:43:54,847 --> 00:43:56,918 Oh. Okay, well, thank you. 782 00:43:57,022 --> 00:43:58,817 Here, oh, I got you cheese. 783 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,715 Oh, my God.You got to stay hydrated. 784 00:44:00,819 --> 00:44:02,786 Thank you so much.They didn't have glass bottles, 785 00:44:02,890 --> 00:44:04,892 so we'll definitely hold onto it and recycle. 786 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:12,175 Okay, so what we need to do is find a phone, we need to call the authorities, 787 00:44:12,278 --> 00:44:15,178 and we need to wait here until somebody comes and rescues us. 788 00:44:15,281 --> 00:44:18,802 Uh... This... This is the rescue. 789 00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:20,183 No one else is coming. 790 00:44:20,286 --> 00:44:22,254 I'm sorry?I'm the rescue. 791 00:44:22,357 --> 00:44:25,291 It was originally just gonna be me, then I was like, Trainer should come. 792 00:44:25,395 --> 00:44:27,121 Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace. 793 00:44:27,224 --> 00:44:31,470 So, our best bet is to get to the airport. See this road right here? 794 00:44:31,573 --> 00:44:34,266 From this area, just take a shortcut through the jungle to the road. 795 00:44:34,369 --> 00:44:36,268 Did you just say "shortcut through the jungle"? 796 00:44:36,371 --> 00:44:37,890 Yeah.Okay, do you see us? 797 00:44:37,994 --> 00:44:40,513 Uh-huh.You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay? 798 00:44:40,617 --> 00:44:42,032 I'm Loretta, and you are Alan. 799 00:44:42,136 --> 00:44:44,448 And jungles eat people like us, okay?Eat people. 800 00:44:44,552 --> 00:44:47,866 And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit. It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put. 801 00:44:47,969 --> 00:44:49,902 We're not just gonna stand around here, okay? 802 00:44:50,006 --> 00:44:51,386 We're gonna go through the jungle, 803 00:44:51,490 --> 00:44:53,595 we're gonna go to the airport and find a phone, 804 00:44:53,699 --> 00:44:56,702 -so you can have your cake and get what you want. -"And eat it too"? 805 00:44:56,806 --> 00:44:59,256 If that's what you want to do with your cake, fine. Let's go. 806 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,293 -That's the only thing you do with cake. -Not mine. 807 00:45:01,396 --> 00:45:03,847 I don't know what your people do, but my people eat it. 808 00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:06,160 You could give it to someone as a gift. 809 00:45:06,263 --> 00:45:08,472 Those people are still going to eat the cake. 810 00:45:08,576 --> 00:45:10,129 Everybody eats cake. 811 00:45:10,233 --> 00:45:12,062 What about the kind people jump out of? 812 00:45:12,166 --> 00:45:15,100 They don't eat it, when they're in it.Oh, my God. 813 00:45:41,402 --> 00:45:42,990 What did they kidnap you for anyhow? 814 00:45:43,093 --> 00:45:44,957 Is it some weird sex stuff like Taken? 815 00:45:45,061 --> 00:45:46,614 Oh, my God, thank you. 816 00:45:46,717 --> 00:45:49,444 I thought so too, but the guy's one of the Fairfaxes. 817 00:45:49,548 --> 00:45:51,377 Beverly?No, the older one. 818 00:45:51,481 --> 00:45:54,933 The really odd one that had the vlog on finding Montezuma's treasure. 819 00:45:55,036 --> 00:45:57,452 The dude that was on the news for trying to raise the Titanic? 820 00:45:57,556 --> 00:45:59,351 Yes, he's looking for the Crown of Fire. 821 00:45:59,454 --> 00:46:03,424 Wait a minute. Like the actual Crown of Fire? Like the one... 822 00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:06,876 So those ruins were--They were the Lost City of D, yes. 823 00:46:06,979 --> 00:46:09,292 What? Are you kidding me right now?Shh. 824 00:46:09,395 --> 00:46:10,845 This is like your book. 825 00:46:10,949 --> 00:46:13,779 So we're basically on a Lovemore and Dash adventure right now? 826 00:46:13,883 --> 00:46:15,885 What is that? 827 00:46:15,988 --> 00:46:18,473 What if Fairfax actually finds the crown? 828 00:46:18,577 --> 00:46:19,958 He won't. He won't. 829 00:46:22,132 --> 00:46:23,237 Where do we go?Uh... 830 00:46:23,340 --> 00:46:25,308 Oh, oh, oh. 831 00:46:28,380 --> 00:46:30,520 Okay, uh, we need to get in the water. 832 00:46:30,623 --> 00:46:32,729 W-What?We need to go by river. 833 00:46:32,833 --> 00:46:34,662 No, no, I don't really do water. 834 00:46:34,765 --> 00:46:37,113 What do you mean, "do water"? I'm not asking you to procreate with it. 835 00:46:37,216 --> 00:46:39,667 Uh, my body and water don't really go together. 836 00:46:39,770 --> 00:46:42,118 How do you feel about dying? Oh, God. 837 00:46:42,221 --> 00:46:44,085 Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're okay. You're okay. 838 00:46:44,189 --> 00:46:47,019 I got you. Fine.I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much. 839 00:46:47,123 --> 00:46:49,194 Where are you going?I'm crossing. 840 00:46:49,297 --> 00:46:51,265 No, we have to stay in the water. 841 00:46:51,368 --> 00:46:53,819 I researched aquatic counter-tracking for my book, A Year in the Bush. 842 00:46:53,923 --> 00:46:55,925 They'll lose our tracks in the water. 843 00:46:56,028 --> 00:46:58,824 Why is it warm here? Wait, are you peeing? 844 00:46:58,928 --> 00:47:00,930 Just go around it. 845 00:47:29,717 --> 00:47:31,236 Okay, I think... 846 00:47:31,339 --> 00:47:33,238 I think we lost them, right? 847 00:47:33,341 --> 00:47:36,344 Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah. 848 00:47:36,448 --> 00:47:38,105 Okay, uh... 849 00:47:38,208 --> 00:47:40,624 Don't panic.What do you mean, don't panic? 850 00:47:40,728 --> 00:47:41,936 -Just don't panic. -No. 851 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,800 Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now. 852 00:47:43,904 --> 00:47:45,767 You have something on your back. 853 00:47:47,286 --> 00:47:48,080 No! 854 00:47:48,184 --> 00:47:49,668 Stop screaming.What is that? 855 00:47:49,771 --> 00:47:51,014 What is that?Stop screaming. 856 00:47:51,118 --> 00:47:52,567 Do you have any on you?No. No. 857 00:47:52,671 --> 00:47:54,121 Why don't you have any on you? 858 00:47:54,224 --> 00:47:56,019 Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off. I don't know. 859 00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:57,641 Get 'em off.Oh, my God. 860 00:47:57,745 --> 00:48:00,265 Okay. No, I can't touch those blood-gorged mucous sacks. 861 00:48:00,368 --> 00:48:01,818 Can you fling it?Right now. 862 00:48:01,922 --> 00:48:03,302 Get it.Just pick it and fling it. 863 00:48:03,406 --> 00:48:05,304 Just pick it and fling it.You pick it and fling it! 864 00:48:05,408 --> 00:48:07,479 Can you spin it off?Please, get it off. 865 00:48:07,582 --> 00:48:09,619 I don't like touching it. I'm feeling faint. 866 00:48:09,722 --> 00:48:12,829 They're sucking my soul out.Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop. 867 00:48:14,486 --> 00:48:16,729 Don't make that sound. 868 00:48:20,319 --> 00:48:21,803 How many of them are there? 869 00:48:21,907 --> 00:48:23,426 Oh, there's not many. 870 00:48:23,529 --> 00:48:25,531 It feels like there's so many.What are you-- 871 00:48:25,635 --> 00:48:26,947 I feel so many.Oh! 872 00:48:27,050 --> 00:48:29,604 Holy mother of God!Why are you praying? 873 00:48:29,708 --> 00:48:32,745 Is it that bad? It can't be that bad. Is it that bad? How many? 874 00:48:32,849 --> 00:48:34,092 It's not great. 875 00:48:34,195 --> 00:48:35,852 They're gonna suck every bit of me out. 876 00:48:35,956 --> 00:48:38,613 Just please stop speaking. I just need to-- need to get low. 877 00:48:38,717 --> 00:48:40,443 Hold on a second. 878 00:48:40,546 --> 00:48:43,342 Oh, God! I can feel them just-- they're just sucking out so much. 879 00:48:43,446 --> 00:48:46,311 I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up skin sack when they're done. 880 00:48:46,414 --> 00:48:48,382 You cannot tell my dad I died this way, okay? 881 00:48:48,485 --> 00:48:52,524 You gotta tell him I was wrestling an anaconda with a sword or something. 882 00:48:52,627 --> 00:48:55,423 I'm like a blood Jamba Juice. They're just sucking it all out. 883 00:48:55,527 --> 00:48:57,149 Why are they all on my butt though? 884 00:48:57,253 --> 00:48:59,876 Kind of like picking anchovies off my Caesar salad. 885 00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,705 -It's actually not so bad. -Anchovies? 886 00:49:01,809 --> 00:49:03,397 Why do you go to food right now? 887 00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:06,365 Just find the queen, and let's be done with this. 888 00:49:06,469 --> 00:49:08,816 Think you're good. I need to just check your front. 889 00:49:08,919 --> 00:49:11,163 Okay. I can't look. 890 00:49:13,407 --> 00:49:14,718 Is it bad? 891 00:49:14,822 --> 00:49:17,928 Uh, wow.What is it? Just say it. 892 00:49:18,032 --> 00:49:21,380 I mean, you expect it to, you know, not... 893 00:49:21,484 --> 00:49:24,211 Then suddenly there it is, and it is, uh... 894 00:49:24,314 --> 00:49:26,558 You know, you get excited for a person.What? 895 00:49:26,661 --> 00:49:29,285 I mean, I'm excited for all people.Why are you excited? 896 00:49:29,388 --> 00:49:31,701 Well, you know, people wonder, they wonder, 897 00:49:31,804 --> 00:49:33,427 but they don't know, right? 898 00:49:33,530 --> 00:49:36,016 They don't, until suddenly they do know, 899 00:49:36,119 --> 00:49:40,434 and then they-- they know something that wasn't known before. 900 00:49:40,537 --> 00:49:42,401 Just-- Do I have any leeches or not? 901 00:49:42,505 --> 00:49:46,612 Oh, your plucky warrior hangs in tranquil solitude. 902 00:49:46,716 --> 00:49:47,820 What? 903 00:49:47,924 --> 00:49:50,064 No, you're good. You're good. 904 00:49:51,203 --> 00:49:52,929 We were so brave just then. 905 00:49:53,033 --> 00:49:55,276 Why do they go for the butt so much? 906 00:50:16,573 --> 00:50:19,438 What's that song you're singing? 907 00:50:19,542 --> 00:50:22,545 A song my abbiused to sing to me when I was a kid. 908 00:50:23,511 --> 00:50:26,169 "If you suck life from the island...Yeah? 909 00:50:26,273 --> 00:50:29,069 ...the island will suck of you." 910 00:50:29,172 --> 00:50:33,107 Your grandma sang you songs about getting sucked off by an island? 911 00:50:33,211 --> 00:50:35,558 It doesn't translate super well. 912 00:50:36,455 --> 00:50:39,286 Is phantom leech syndrome, like, a thing? 913 00:50:39,389 --> 00:50:41,391 They don't lay eggs, do they? 914 00:51:30,509 --> 00:51:31,717 Queen Taha? 915 00:51:45,317 --> 00:51:49,701 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest... 916 00:51:50,633 --> 00:51:54,292 laid to rest in the well of endless tears. 917 00:51:54,395 --> 00:51:56,328 Laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 918 00:51:56,432 --> 00:51:58,296 What does that mean?Loretta! 919 00:51:58,986 --> 00:52:00,712 You gave me a heart attack. 920 00:52:01,402 --> 00:52:03,059 Where'd you go? 921 00:52:07,132 --> 00:52:08,685 What is this? 922 00:52:08,789 --> 00:52:12,033 I'm not sure, but maybe they gathered here? 923 00:52:14,588 --> 00:52:17,246 Can you imagine being right here, 924 00:52:17,349 --> 00:52:20,007 right in this very spot back then? 925 00:52:20,110 --> 00:52:21,836 The stories that they told? 926 00:52:21,940 --> 00:52:24,701 So much history I'm sure happened right here. 927 00:52:30,017 --> 00:52:31,398 They've got us cornered. 928 00:52:31,501 --> 00:52:33,193 Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.What? 929 00:52:33,296 --> 00:52:36,403 Have you seen what I'm wearing? I'm in a glitter straitjacket. 930 00:52:36,506 --> 00:52:39,475 There's nowhere to go but up. Come on. Let's go. 931 00:52:39,578 --> 00:52:43,133 Oh! I should not be doing this. I'm too old for this. 932 00:52:43,237 --> 00:52:44,342 No, you're not. You're beautiful. 933 00:52:44,445 --> 00:52:46,102 I didn't say I'm not beautiful. 934 00:52:46,206 --> 00:52:48,104 I said I'm too old to be doing this. 935 00:52:48,208 --> 00:52:51,832 My skill is sitting and thinking and eating when I can't think. 936 00:52:51,935 --> 00:52:54,352 Yeah, you definitely could be wearing better shoes for this. 937 00:52:54,455 --> 00:52:56,354 You brought me these shoes. 938 00:52:56,457 --> 00:52:59,011 I can't go any further. I can't go any further. 939 00:52:59,115 --> 00:53:00,841 I'm not doing so great here. 940 00:53:00,944 --> 00:53:02,360 You got it. Come on. 941 00:53:02,463 --> 00:53:04,327 I know you think that you're safer holding on, 942 00:53:04,431 --> 00:53:05,708 but you have to keep going. 943 00:53:05,811 --> 00:53:07,710 I can't. I can't, I can't.Okay? 944 00:53:08,504 --> 00:53:09,953 Do you smell that?Smell what? 945 00:53:10,057 --> 00:53:11,817 I smell something.Is it a predator? What is it? 946 00:53:11,921 --> 00:53:13,854 A downward cascading fire?You got to smell deeper. 947 00:53:13,957 --> 00:53:15,131 I don't smell anything! 948 00:53:18,548 --> 00:53:21,793 Take a big, deep breath. 949 00:53:21,896 --> 00:53:23,208 All right. 950 00:53:23,312 --> 00:53:24,934 Good job.Okay. 951 00:53:25,037 --> 00:53:28,662 That was manipulative. Thank you.Yeah, it was. 952 00:53:28,765 --> 00:53:31,251 Here we go. I'm gonna help you out a little bit, all right? 953 00:53:31,354 --> 00:53:33,425 -One, two, three... Here we go! -What are you doing? 954 00:53:33,529 --> 00:53:34,909 Get out of there.Come on. 955 00:53:35,013 --> 00:53:37,084 No, no, don't flex.That's my hoo-hoo. 956 00:53:37,187 --> 00:53:40,121 Just ride the head. Keep the hands moving and ride the head. 957 00:53:40,225 --> 00:53:41,537 Oh, God.You're doing great. 958 00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,298 Sorry about the scratchy haircut. Come on. 959 00:54:04,387 --> 00:54:06,631 Dulcius ex asperis. 960 00:54:07,217 --> 00:54:08,598 What was that? 961 00:54:08,702 --> 00:54:10,220 Oh, nothing. 962 00:54:10,324 --> 00:54:12,568 It was just something that John and I would say 963 00:54:12,671 --> 00:54:15,812 after we finished something big, like a... 964 00:54:15,916 --> 00:54:17,883 like an archaeological dig or a manuscript. 965 00:54:17,987 --> 00:54:21,301 It's Latin. It means "sweeter after difficulty." 966 00:54:22,440 --> 00:54:23,820 What's... 967 00:54:23,924 --> 00:54:25,857 What's Latin for "Loretta's a badass"? 968 00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:30,448 I am a badass. I climbed a mountain. 969 00:54:30,551 --> 00:54:33,520 Oh, my God. I wish Beth could've seen us do this. 970 00:54:33,623 --> 00:54:36,454 Oh, God. Beth.Don't worry about Beth. 971 00:54:36,557 --> 00:54:40,043 She's probably got the whole navy after us right now. 972 00:54:40,147 --> 00:54:43,219 I get that you think you have to go to the island authorities yourself, 973 00:54:43,323 --> 00:54:46,740 but don't worry, I'm keeping Loretta's socials super active. 974 00:54:46,843 --> 00:54:49,225 Just tweeted, "Did I just get kidnapped? 975 00:54:49,329 --> 00:54:52,849 #FML, @ShawnMendes, #ShawnMendes." 976 00:54:52,953 --> 00:54:54,610 And you're traveling alone? 977 00:54:54,713 --> 00:54:57,544 Yes, I'm traveling alone. Mm-hmm. I'm single. 978 00:54:58,130 --> 00:54:59,339 Then this might work. 979 00:54:59,442 --> 00:55:01,271 Okay! Talk to me.You'll hit New York. 980 00:55:01,375 --> 00:55:04,896 From there, you'll fly to Guinea, where you can pick up a puddle jumper. 981 00:55:04,999 --> 00:55:06,069 A what? 982 00:55:07,001 --> 00:55:08,486 Small plane.Yeah, no leg room. 983 00:55:08,589 --> 00:55:09,763 That's fine. I'll take it. 984 00:55:09,866 --> 00:55:11,903 Or you could just come home.Thank you. 985 00:55:19,773 --> 00:55:22,258 We need something more flammable. Everything is just so wet. 986 00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:23,880 What's in here? What's in your bag? 987 00:55:23,984 --> 00:55:25,848 Uh...Oh, a lot. Okay. 988 00:55:25,951 --> 00:55:27,401 What are you doing? 989 00:55:27,505 --> 00:55:29,369 Okay. Face masks. 990 00:55:29,472 --> 00:55:30,887 Yeah, that was like a gift-basket thing. 991 00:55:30,991 --> 00:55:32,958 You brought a scented candle into the jungle? 992 00:55:33,062 --> 00:55:34,339 My mom gave me that. 993 00:55:34,443 --> 00:55:35,996 It was like a weird gift for Mother's Day. 994 00:55:36,099 --> 00:55:38,378 Your mom gives you gifts for Mother's Day? 995 00:55:39,689 --> 00:55:40,483 Noir-- 996 00:55:40,587 --> 00:55:42,554 Eucalyptus rosemary oil. Ooh. 997 00:55:43,141 --> 00:55:44,418 Oh, that smells good. 998 00:55:44,522 --> 00:55:46,696 Um-- Oh, okay. All right. 999 00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,422 Whoo! Yes! 1000 00:55:48,526 --> 00:55:50,976 Yes, I made fire! 1001 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,635 -That's pretty impressive. You have to-- -It is a beautiful fire. 1002 00:55:54,739 --> 00:55:56,672 Who would have thought? 1003 00:55:56,775 --> 00:55:59,260 Oh, you're just, um, taking your shirt off? 1004 00:56:00,365 --> 00:56:02,402 That looks really uncomfortable. 1005 00:56:02,505 --> 00:56:04,404 Are you okay? The back? 1006 00:56:04,507 --> 00:56:08,580 Yeah. That is why I don't do water. 1007 00:56:08,684 --> 00:56:10,962 Okay.My body becomes an eighth-grader's face. 1008 00:56:11,065 --> 00:56:13,930 Do you have anything for it? Like some ointment or something? 1009 00:56:14,034 --> 00:56:15,932 Yeah, I do. Well, I did. 1010 00:56:16,036 --> 00:56:18,107 It was in a little, tiny little bottle. 1011 00:56:18,210 --> 00:56:20,178 It was this. I'm sorry. 1012 00:56:20,281 --> 00:56:22,318 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 1013 00:56:22,422 --> 00:56:23,768 It's okay. 1014 00:56:23,871 --> 00:56:26,184 -Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here. -What? 1015 00:56:26,287 --> 00:56:28,704 -Come here. Sit down. -Let me see. 1016 00:56:28,807 --> 00:56:30,291 Just sit down.Right here? 1017 00:56:30,395 --> 00:56:31,603 Yeah. 1018 00:56:32,811 --> 00:56:34,434 Okay. 1019 00:56:34,537 --> 00:56:36,401 Oh, no, you don't have to touch it. It's okay. It's fine. 1020 00:56:36,505 --> 00:56:38,507 I touched your engorged sacks, so... 1021 00:56:40,716 --> 00:56:42,442 The leeches.Oh, okay. 1022 00:56:42,545 --> 00:56:45,341 Okay, this might be a little bit cold. 1023 00:56:46,515 --> 00:56:48,240 Sorry.Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. 1024 00:56:48,344 --> 00:56:49,621 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 1025 00:56:49,725 --> 00:56:51,692 Maybe this is how Dash should die. 1026 00:56:51,796 --> 00:56:54,833 Horrible eczema outbreak. That's so sexy. 1027 00:56:54,937 --> 00:56:56,456 I could make it work. 1028 00:56:56,904 --> 00:56:57,940 Yeah? 1029 00:56:58,596 --> 00:57:00,045 All right, then. 1030 00:57:01,322 --> 00:57:03,048 How would you write this? 1031 00:57:03,152 --> 00:57:04,636 Okay. 1032 00:57:06,535 --> 00:57:09,848 "Warmed by the fragrant fire..." 1033 00:57:09,952 --> 00:57:12,402 Mm-hmm. 1034 00:57:12,506 --> 00:57:14,404 Starting strong.Mm-hmm. 1035 00:57:14,508 --> 00:57:17,615 "Lovemore's hands explored the... 1036 00:57:19,375 --> 00:57:21,860 the contoured scenery 1037 00:57:21,964 --> 00:57:23,552 of Dash's body. 1038 00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:28,384 Familiar terrain made 1039 00:57:28,488 --> 00:57:30,835 new and exciting with every... 1040 00:57:31,767 --> 00:57:34,114 with every scarlet rim." 1041 00:57:35,218 --> 00:57:36,910 And that didn't, uh... 1042 00:57:37,738 --> 00:57:39,257 didn't turn her off? 1043 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:40,569 No. 1044 00:57:41,397 --> 00:57:43,226 "Because with every cardinal ridge, 1045 00:57:44,227 --> 00:57:46,644 Lovemore discovered another letter in the language 1046 00:57:46,747 --> 00:57:48,853 that only their bodies spoke." 1047 00:57:49,888 --> 00:57:51,925 And what were their bodies saying? 1048 00:57:53,892 --> 00:57:55,445 "Take me... 1049 00:57:57,344 --> 00:57:58,966 take me, 1050 00:57:59,553 --> 00:58:01,244 take me." 1051 00:58:01,348 --> 00:58:02,660 How's that? 1052 00:58:03,488 --> 00:58:04,765 It was good. 1053 00:58:04,869 --> 00:58:06,595 Your back. I mean, how is your back?Good. 1054 00:58:06,698 --> 00:58:08,113 Okay. You sure?Yeah. 1055 00:58:08,217 --> 00:58:12,773 I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.Okay. 1056 00:58:21,023 --> 00:58:22,058 Supplies. 1057 00:58:24,198 --> 00:58:28,478 Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna probably turn in in a little bit. 1058 00:58:28,582 --> 00:58:29,790 Okay.You good? 1059 00:58:29,894 --> 00:58:32,552 Yeah, I'm fire-- fine. I'm fine. 1060 00:58:32,655 --> 00:58:35,589 I'm not "fire." I'm fine by the fire. 1061 00:58:36,279 --> 00:58:38,005 Okay. All right. 1062 00:58:45,910 --> 00:58:49,223 Uh, it's up to you, but if you're cold, 1063 00:58:49,327 --> 00:58:53,538 maybe we could probably both fit in here, if you wanted to. 1064 00:58:54,194 --> 00:58:55,920 Both of us? 1065 00:58:56,023 --> 00:58:59,061 Only if you want to. I mean, it's just--Yeah, no, that sounds... 1066 00:58:59,164 --> 00:59:00,649 Uh... 1067 00:59:00,752 --> 00:59:02,133 Okay. How do you... 1068 00:59:02,236 --> 00:59:04,204 You can go first, then I'll figure it out. 1069 00:59:04,307 --> 00:59:07,448 No, no, you go. It's definitely a "ladies first" type of situation. 1070 00:59:07,552 --> 00:59:10,210 Keep hands out of the bag at all times.That's what I was gonna do. 1071 00:59:10,313 --> 00:59:11,970 Butt to butt.Hands out and butt to butt. 1072 00:59:12,074 --> 00:59:15,387 Yeah. What do I do?Just get in. Go ahead and sit. 1073 00:59:15,491 --> 00:59:18,183 I sit first? Okay. I'm in. 1074 00:59:19,737 --> 00:59:22,325 You're too heavy. You're gonna flip this thing like a cruise ship. 1075 00:59:22,429 --> 00:59:25,087 You watch yourself. Hold on. I'm not in. 1076 00:59:25,190 --> 00:59:28,366 Why is this engaging my core so much? 1077 00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,058 How 'bout you shimmy? 1078 00:59:31,162 --> 00:59:33,267 I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.Are you good? 1079 00:59:33,371 --> 00:59:34,683 My face. 1080 00:59:35,269 --> 00:59:36,512 Yeah. Okay. 1081 00:59:39,619 --> 00:59:41,103 Hands are out. Butt to butt. 1082 00:59:41,206 --> 00:59:42,242 Okay. 1083 01:00:13,445 --> 01:00:15,033 Well! 1084 01:00:15,137 --> 01:00:16,276 Come on. 1085 01:00:16,379 --> 01:00:18,036 Come on! Let's hear it! 1086 01:00:18,140 --> 01:00:21,626 Let's give a nice round of applause to Loretta! 1087 01:00:21,730 --> 01:00:23,352 She earned it. 1088 01:00:23,455 --> 01:00:27,321 A geriatric shut-in left you holding your dicks in the jungle. 1089 01:00:27,425 --> 01:00:28,806 Good job, Loretta. 1090 01:00:28,909 --> 01:00:31,429 Boss, come on. People are dying now. 1091 01:00:31,532 --> 01:00:35,191 Don't you think that maybe this has all gone too far? 1092 01:00:36,434 --> 01:00:38,160 Is it really worth it? 1093 01:00:38,263 --> 01:00:41,646 I am on the cusp of attaining the unattainable. 1094 01:00:41,750 --> 01:00:44,753 Something singular, something no nation, 1095 01:00:44,856 --> 01:00:48,446 no emperor, no brownnosing brothers ever have. 1096 01:00:48,549 --> 01:00:51,656 The legendary Crown of Fire. 1097 01:00:52,105 --> 01:00:53,244 So, yes. 1098 01:00:53,347 --> 01:00:55,660 Yes, I would definitely say it's worth it. 1099 01:01:05,394 --> 01:01:06,913 Excuse me! 1100 01:01:07,016 --> 01:01:09,916 Excuse me, sir. I need to get to my next connecting flight. 1101 01:01:10,019 --> 01:01:11,365 No flight. 1102 01:01:11,469 --> 01:01:14,058 The pilot is sick. Come tomorrow. 1103 01:01:14,161 --> 01:01:16,301 No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow. I need to do this today. 1104 01:01:16,405 --> 01:01:21,134 I need to get to the island Isla Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake. 1105 01:01:21,237 --> 01:01:22,722 Come tomorrow. 1106 01:01:26,553 --> 01:01:28,244 Excuse me, miss?Yes? 1107 01:01:28,348 --> 01:01:32,421 I couldn't help but overhear you say that you like steak. 1108 01:01:32,524 --> 01:01:35,804 Okay, this is a little bit crazy, 1109 01:01:35,907 --> 01:01:37,702 but I also like steak. 1110 01:01:37,806 --> 01:01:40,153 What?I also like steak. 1111 01:01:40,256 --> 01:01:43,708 Would you like to, maybe, I don't know... 1112 01:01:43,812 --> 01:01:46,642 -Maybe there's a-- -No. "Lives are at stake." 1113 01:01:46,746 --> 01:01:48,506 I need to go to the island tonight. 1114 01:01:48,609 --> 01:01:50,025 Ah.Yes. 1115 01:01:50,128 --> 01:01:51,716 Even more serious.Extremely. 1116 01:01:51,820 --> 01:01:54,823 Well, I believe that I may be able to assist you. 1117 01:01:54,926 --> 01:01:56,859 I have a cargo plane. 1118 01:01:58,033 --> 01:02:01,726 Maybe after I make my delivery, we could swing by your island. 1119 01:02:01,830 --> 01:02:04,625 I'm about to ask you something, and you better tell me the truth. 1120 01:02:04,729 --> 01:02:06,593 Have you ever murdered anyone before? 1121 01:02:06,696 --> 01:02:09,941 No! 1122 01:02:13,531 --> 01:02:16,258 I don't know if I really buy it, but let me tell you something. 1123 01:02:16,361 --> 01:02:20,607 If you ever think about murdering me, I promise, I will murder you first. 1124 01:02:20,710 --> 01:02:22,057 My pleasure. 1125 01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:24,300 You are weird. Let's go. 1126 01:03:19,700 --> 01:03:23,118 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well 1127 01:03:23,773 --> 01:03:25,189 of endless tears." 1128 01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:28,054 What is that? 1129 01:03:29,227 --> 01:03:32,679 Oh, it's a-- it's a thing. I mean, it's not, uh... 1130 01:03:32,782 --> 01:03:35,026 You know, it's not what you think it is. 1131 01:03:35,130 --> 01:03:38,927 So it's not Fairfax's fragment of an ancient parchment? 1132 01:03:39,030 --> 01:03:42,827 Okay. It's what you think it is. 1133 01:03:42,931 --> 01:03:44,380 Loretta, I thought you were smarter than that. 1134 01:03:44,484 --> 01:03:47,280 Fairfax is never gonna stop hunting us now. 1135 01:03:47,383 --> 01:03:48,384 What were you thinking? 1136 01:03:48,488 --> 01:03:50,455 We have a volcano that could bury the tomb 1137 01:03:50,559 --> 01:03:54,114 before we get to it, before we see it, before we preserve its memory. 1138 01:03:54,218 --> 01:03:56,151 This is--I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing? 1139 01:03:56,254 --> 01:03:58,774 'Cause no one told me. When were you gonna tell me? 1140 01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:00,293 Why would I tell you? 1141 01:04:00,396 --> 01:04:02,226 We're in this together. I came here to rescue you. 1142 01:04:02,329 --> 01:04:04,021 You know you're not Dash, right? 1143 01:04:04,124 --> 01:04:06,368 You don't ride in on a white horse to rescue people. 1144 01:04:06,471 --> 01:04:10,751 You... spray yourself with bronzer and you stand in front of wind machines, 1145 01:04:10,855 --> 01:04:12,374 which is great for you. 1146 01:04:12,477 --> 01:04:15,135 How would you have any idea what I'm actually like? 1147 01:04:15,239 --> 01:04:18,173 I know you. You're a pretty open book, Alan. 1148 01:04:18,276 --> 01:04:20,071 -Okay, then who am I? -Really? 1149 01:04:20,175 --> 01:04:21,210 Yeah. 1150 01:04:23,281 --> 01:04:25,490 O-- Okay, uh... 1151 01:04:25,594 --> 01:04:28,700 You were a homecoming king and you coasted on your good looks to LA, 1152 01:04:28,804 --> 01:04:31,324 but then realized that being the most handsome kid in the middle of nowhere 1153 01:04:31,427 --> 01:04:33,153 doesn't mean you're going to be a star. 1154 01:04:33,257 --> 01:04:35,086 Until one day, when a woman who couldn't publish her book 1155 01:04:35,190 --> 01:04:38,779 on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic decided to write a romance novel, 1156 01:04:38,883 --> 01:04:40,816 uh, chose you at random to be on the cover. 1157 01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:44,337 Lucky for you and her, the novels were a smashing success. 1158 01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:47,443 She kept writing her schlock, you kept posing, 1159 01:04:47,547 --> 01:04:53,001 um, you know, neither one of us becoming who we'd hoped we would be. 1160 01:04:53,104 --> 01:04:57,212 Uh, and then one day, we both die in the jungle 1161 01:04:57,315 --> 01:05:01,216 on one of those Atlantic islands I wrote about all those years ago. 1162 01:05:01,319 --> 01:05:02,355 Right? 1163 01:05:03,701 --> 01:05:05,013 Mm-hmm. 1164 01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:18,026 It was Sarasota, by the way. 1165 01:05:18,543 --> 01:05:20,131 It's not nowhere. 1166 01:05:20,235 --> 01:05:22,478 I grew up there with my mom and two sisters. 1167 01:05:22,582 --> 01:05:23,617 And yeah... 1168 01:05:24,618 --> 01:05:27,311 I started modeling 'cause I wanted to get away. 1169 01:05:27,414 --> 01:05:29,347 It was the only job that I could think of 1170 01:05:29,451 --> 01:05:32,695 that could take me to all of the places that I always dreamed of going. 1171 01:05:32,799 --> 01:05:34,111 Then finally to Los Angeles, 1172 01:05:34,214 --> 01:05:36,976 where I posed on the cover of your romance novel. 1173 01:05:37,079 --> 01:05:39,979 And I was so embarrassed that one of my friends might've seen me 1174 01:05:40,082 --> 01:05:42,222 in that wig on the cover of your book 1175 01:05:42,326 --> 01:05:44,984 that I avoided talking to them for months. 1176 01:05:45,950 --> 01:05:47,434 And then one day, 1177 01:05:48,159 --> 01:05:50,023 I'm walking home, 1178 01:05:50,127 --> 01:05:52,922 and I hear this lady yell, "Dash!" 1179 01:05:53,026 --> 01:05:55,546 She runs up, and she is so happy. 1180 01:05:55,649 --> 01:05:59,412 Then I thought, "How could I be this embarrassed 1181 01:05:59,515 --> 01:06:02,208 about something that makes people this happy?" 1182 01:06:05,556 --> 01:06:07,247 Loretta, you can do whatever you want. 1183 01:06:07,351 --> 01:06:09,456 If you don't want to write anymore, don't write. 1184 01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:14,047 But don't minimize the people that love your work by calling it schlock. 1185 01:06:14,151 --> 01:06:16,705 That's not fair to them. 1186 01:06:17,913 --> 01:06:20,812 You know what's ironic? I thought you of all people would know 1187 01:06:20,916 --> 01:06:23,367 not to judge a book by its cover. 1188 01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:30,029 Judge a book by its cover model. 1189 01:07:01,508 --> 01:07:02,682 Alan? 1190 01:07:02,785 --> 01:07:04,063 Alan. 1191 01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:17,386 There's two of them. 1192 01:07:23,496 --> 01:07:26,188 Loretta! I'm over here!Alan! 1193 01:07:27,258 --> 01:07:30,330 Alan! Motorcycles and guns, motorcycles and guns! 1194 01:07:30,434 --> 01:07:32,574 Come on, this way! 1195 01:07:32,677 --> 01:07:34,300 Stop shooting! 1196 01:07:39,546 --> 01:07:41,514 Just give 'em the parchment!I can't. 1197 01:07:41,617 --> 01:07:44,275 Yes, you can, actually. You just say, "Here," and throw it at 'em. 1198 01:07:44,379 --> 01:07:46,691 Right. And then I'm sure they'll happily let us go. 1199 01:07:46,795 --> 01:07:48,797 Okay, keep down.How do they keep finding us? 1200 01:07:48,900 --> 01:07:51,386 You're basically a walking disco ball.We need to come up with a plan. 1201 01:07:51,489 --> 01:07:52,559 I have an idea. 1202 01:07:52,663 --> 01:07:54,113 We're gonna dig a hole, throw our voices. 1203 01:07:54,216 --> 01:07:56,149 "We're over here." Can you sound like a bird? 1204 01:07:56,253 --> 01:07:58,565 No, I have a plan.Alan, please, I'm thinking. 1205 01:07:58,669 --> 01:08:02,362 I know, but I have a plan.Please, just let me think about... 1206 01:08:02,466 --> 01:08:06,090 Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.Yeah, that's why we're hiding. 1207 01:08:06,194 --> 01:08:08,506 No. No, no, no. They're shooting only at you. 1208 01:08:08,610 --> 01:08:11,130 They won't shoot me. It's my brain that's valuable. 1209 01:08:11,233 --> 01:08:15,099 What? I don't think you actually hear the things you say sometimes. 1210 01:08:15,203 --> 01:08:17,895 Maybe I can shield you.You are not shielding me. 1211 01:08:17,998 --> 01:08:20,242 I should be shielding you.Why? Because I'm a woman? 1212 01:08:20,346 --> 01:08:23,418 That's supremely sexist.Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields 1213 01:08:23,521 --> 01:08:26,248 is exactly the change that Gloria Seinfeld had in mind, do you? 1214 01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:29,182 Gloria Steinem?Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine. 1215 01:08:29,286 --> 01:08:32,358 Please mansplain sexism to me right now.Oh, my God. I am a woman. 1216 01:08:32,461 --> 01:08:34,567 I can't mansplain anything. 1217 01:08:34,670 --> 01:08:39,399 Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a woman can do anything a man can do. 1218 01:08:39,503 --> 01:08:41,953 We just need to stay here until they get tired.I have an idea. 1219 01:08:42,057 --> 01:08:43,748 Please can I tell you my plan?Alan! 1220 01:08:43,852 --> 01:08:47,166 This is not a situation you can get out of by ripping your shirt off. 1221 01:08:47,269 --> 01:08:49,202 Not my shirt. 1222 01:09:20,647 --> 01:09:21,959 Three! 1223 01:09:22,062 --> 01:09:23,650 -Yes! -Oh! 1224 01:09:27,758 --> 01:09:29,622 Oh. 1225 01:09:29,725 --> 01:09:32,970 That was different than I had in my head. 1226 01:09:33,073 --> 01:09:37,146 I just wanted us to stop them.Could it have been the wind that made it do that? 1227 01:09:37,250 --> 01:09:39,356 No, I think it was us. I think... we did it. 1228 01:09:39,459 --> 01:09:41,875 We did the one guy, right? But that was, like-- 1229 01:09:41,979 --> 01:09:45,327 We just wanted him to stop. But I think the other guy could've moved, really. 1230 01:09:45,431 --> 01:09:47,571 So, that was-- that one was on him. 1231 01:09:47,674 --> 01:09:50,539 Even if we weren't here, that could've happened. 1232 01:09:50,643 --> 01:09:52,369 Why are you gonna stop next to a cliff? 1233 01:09:52,472 --> 01:09:54,923 They were wearing helmets, so maybe they're... 1234 01:09:55,026 --> 01:09:57,201 But the rest of their body didn't have a helmet. 1235 01:09:57,305 --> 01:09:58,513 So there'd just be a head. 1236 01:09:58,616 --> 01:10:00,894 They were driving recklessly, right? 1237 01:10:00,998 --> 01:10:02,724 Don't be mean on a bike. 1238 01:10:03,414 --> 01:10:05,174 Don't do mean stuff on a bike. 1239 01:10:08,971 --> 01:10:11,215 I mean, perhaps they're fine. 1240 01:10:11,319 --> 01:10:13,735 Yeah, probably not. But that's okay. 1241 01:10:13,838 --> 01:10:18,118 That's all right. You know, things happen. Let's go. 1242 01:10:20,328 --> 01:10:23,503 -You gonna put it back together? -It's on loan. 1243 01:10:36,309 --> 01:10:38,622 Look at me.Okay. 1244 01:10:39,519 --> 01:10:41,556 What more can I do, you know? 1245 01:10:41,659 --> 01:10:43,592 You've done so much already, Beth. 1246 01:10:43,696 --> 01:10:46,733 My poor, sweet, little Nana has lost her sight. 1247 01:10:46,837 --> 01:10:49,564 The book release is a complete disaster, 1248 01:10:49,667 --> 01:10:51,324 which I've leveraged everything on, 1249 01:10:51,428 --> 01:10:53,775 so I'm probably, most definitely broke right now. 1250 01:10:53,878 --> 01:10:57,123 And most importantly, I've lost a writer. 1251 01:10:57,226 --> 01:10:58,780 Who does that? Who loses a writer? 1252 01:10:58,883 --> 01:11:03,405 Okay, Beth, you remind me of my best friend, Randy. 1253 01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:05,994 Always looking out for other people, 1254 01:11:06,097 --> 01:11:08,445 never taking care of herself. 1255 01:11:09,446 --> 01:11:10,861 Isn't that right, Randy? 1256 01:11:13,381 --> 01:11:15,244 She's like my therapist, this one over here. 1257 01:11:15,348 --> 01:11:17,454 LOL. "Laughing Out Loud." 1258 01:11:17,557 --> 01:11:19,525 After you take care of your friend, 1259 01:11:20,422 --> 01:11:21,768 how about we go to a beach? 1260 01:11:21,872 --> 01:11:24,357 What?Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii. 1261 01:11:24,461 --> 01:11:26,428 She doesn't have to come. 1262 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:29,328 -Okay! Okay, you can come! 1263 01:11:29,431 --> 01:11:31,433 She's hilarious. 1264 01:11:32,227 --> 01:11:34,056 Let me ask you something. 1265 01:11:34,160 --> 01:11:36,265 We're all sitting here chitchatting, but who's flying the plane? 1266 01:11:36,369 --> 01:11:38,302 Autopilot.What? 1267 01:11:38,406 --> 01:11:41,132 Sir, go to the cockpit, fly the plane. 1268 01:11:41,581 --> 01:11:42,582 Okay. 1269 01:11:43,342 --> 01:11:45,102 I'm going to go land the plane. 1270 01:11:45,205 --> 01:11:46,655 Okay. 1271 01:11:46,759 --> 01:11:48,657 No, no, no. Take the goat. Please, take the goat. 1272 01:11:48,761 --> 01:11:51,419 She's on break. Enjoy the flight! 1273 01:12:26,833 --> 01:12:28,179 Hi.Hola. 1274 01:12:32,632 --> 01:12:35,324 This English dude came in and basically kidnapped her. 1275 01:12:37,465 --> 01:12:40,778 Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message, and I'll get right back to you. 1276 01:12:40,882 --> 01:12:43,747 Uh, hi, Beth. 1277 01:12:43,850 --> 01:12:44,851 It's me. 1278 01:12:44,955 --> 01:12:46,784 Uh, I'm alive! 1279 01:12:47,509 --> 01:12:49,546 Uh, listen, um... 1280 01:12:50,857 --> 01:12:51,893 Uh... 1281 01:12:53,342 --> 01:12:57,450 I'm sorry that I blew up the book tour. 1282 01:12:57,554 --> 01:12:59,279 Um... 1283 01:12:59,383 --> 01:13:01,765 I was just afraid 1284 01:13:02,904 --> 01:13:04,561 and selfish. Uh-- 1285 01:13:04,664 --> 01:13:07,391 Oh, here comes Alan. I'll call you back. 1286 01:13:10,567 --> 01:13:13,570 So, uh, police are searching for Fairfax, 1287 01:13:13,673 --> 01:13:16,124 and they're gonna provide us protection while we're here. 1288 01:13:16,227 --> 01:13:18,057 Did they say how long we'd be here? 1289 01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:20,818 They're gonna try to get us on a puddle jumper later this evening. 1290 01:13:20,922 --> 01:13:23,131 But, uh, they said in the meantime, the inn is really nice, 1291 01:13:23,234 --> 01:13:25,823 and we can get cleaned up and maybe a change of clothes. 1292 01:13:25,927 --> 01:13:27,342 Okay. 1293 01:13:30,794 --> 01:13:32,347 Okay. Yeah. 1294 01:14:25,124 --> 01:14:26,574 Thank you. 1295 01:14:27,160 --> 01:14:30,405 Come on. 1296 01:14:30,509 --> 01:14:31,751 Dance with your husband. 1297 01:14:31,855 --> 01:14:33,650 No, no, no.He's not my husband. 1298 01:14:33,753 --> 01:14:35,479 It's okay.Dance with him. 1299 01:14:35,583 --> 01:14:38,068 No, no. She doesn't want to. She doesn't have the right shoes. 1300 01:14:38,171 --> 01:14:40,691 Actually, it's the only thing these shoes are right for. 1301 01:14:40,795 --> 01:14:43,038 You don't have to do this. 1302 01:14:43,142 --> 01:14:44,902 It's okay. It's okay. 1303 01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:46,766 Yeah? 1304 01:16:05,396 --> 01:16:07,088 I wonder what she's saying. 1305 01:16:09,469 --> 01:16:10,954 It's folklore. 1306 01:16:12,369 --> 01:16:14,405 Love song about a woman 1307 01:16:14,509 --> 01:16:17,823 whose lover died, and she didn't want to leave his side. 1308 01:16:18,858 --> 01:16:21,689 So she laid down and refused to get up. 1309 01:16:22,275 --> 01:16:24,036 Must be scary. 1310 01:16:24,139 --> 01:16:28,040 Having to face your future without the person that you planned it with. 1311 01:16:40,397 --> 01:16:41,950 What was that? 1312 01:16:44,090 --> 01:16:47,749 Excuse me. Excuse me. The, um-- the last line that you sang. 1313 01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:50,200 ¿Quién llorará junto a mí? 1314 01:16:53,134 --> 01:16:55,964 "The island will weep for me in the well of endless tears." 1315 01:16:56,068 --> 01:16:59,450 What is that, the well of endless tears? Is that a real place, or... 1316 01:16:59,554 --> 01:17:01,176 Sinkhole place. 1317 01:17:02,971 --> 01:17:04,697 Thank you. Gracias, gracias. 1318 01:17:04,801 --> 01:17:06,872 Come here, come here.What is it? 1319 01:17:08,494 --> 01:17:10,323 Hey, on the parchment, it said, 1320 01:17:10,427 --> 01:17:14,500 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 1321 01:17:14,603 --> 01:17:16,709 I thought maybe it was a metaphor. 1322 01:17:17,227 --> 01:17:18,780 It's not. 1323 01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:21,749 The Well of Endless Tears is a place. 1324 01:17:21,852 --> 01:17:23,854 It's a sinkhole. 1325 01:17:23,958 --> 01:17:26,132 There's a sinkhole on the map. 1326 01:17:27,478 --> 01:17:29,239 I think the tomb is there. 1327 01:17:29,342 --> 01:17:31,724 This is so much better than your books.What? 1328 01:17:31,828 --> 01:17:33,312 There's like-- No, I don't mean any offense. 1329 01:17:33,415 --> 01:17:35,314 I'm kidding. I'm kidding.It's, like, equal. 1330 01:17:35,417 --> 01:17:37,626 I'm kidding. I'm kidding.Look at you. You want to go there. 1331 01:17:37,730 --> 01:17:39,594 What? No.I can see. Yes, you do. 1332 01:17:39,698 --> 01:17:42,804 That would be insane. That would be insane. I just-- I just-- 1333 01:17:42,908 --> 01:17:47,291 It's just that we're so close to it, but, you know, we can't-- 1334 01:17:47,395 --> 01:17:48,707 No. 1335 01:17:48,810 --> 01:17:51,502 This is your story. How do you want to write it? 1336 01:17:52,296 --> 01:17:54,609 I'd like to know that it's there, 1337 01:17:54,713 --> 01:17:56,369 that all this meant something. 1338 01:17:56,473 --> 01:17:58,337 Okay. Then let's go. 1339 01:17:58,440 --> 01:18:00,304 We'll stay one more day. As soon as the sun's up, 1340 01:18:00,408 --> 01:18:02,168 we're gonna go find the Well of Endless Tears. 1341 01:18:02,272 --> 01:18:05,137 But what if it's nothing?So what? Then we say we tried. 1342 01:18:05,240 --> 01:18:06,483 And Fairfax? 1343 01:18:06,586 --> 01:18:09,003 The cops are after Fairfax. Don't worry about him. 1344 01:18:10,107 --> 01:18:10,901 This is crazy. 1345 01:18:11,005 --> 01:18:12,696 Yeah, but look at you.What? 1346 01:18:12,800 --> 01:18:15,768 It's the very first time I've ever seen you totally unafraid. 1347 01:18:16,389 --> 01:18:18,115 And alive. 1348 01:18:18,219 --> 01:18:20,739 I'm gonna go tell them our plans have changed and find us a ride. 1349 01:18:20,842 --> 01:18:22,292 Where are you going? 1350 01:18:25,951 --> 01:18:28,022 I see you met my friend here. 1351 01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:32,509 He told me you were just about to jump on a plane, 1352 01:18:32,612 --> 01:18:35,063 without so much as saying goodbye. 1353 01:18:35,167 --> 01:18:38,584 I said, "No way. Not my Loretta. 1354 01:18:38,687 --> 01:18:43,140 Not when she's the only one who can lead me to the tomb." 1355 01:18:46,557 --> 01:18:48,628 Stop squeezing so hard. 1356 01:18:49,457 --> 01:18:52,253 Ow. Get your hands off of me! 1357 01:18:53,116 --> 01:18:54,980 Ow! Let go! 1358 01:18:55,463 --> 01:18:56,671 I-I need a car. 1359 01:18:56,775 --> 01:18:58,707 A car, an auto. Does anybody have an auto? 1360 01:19:07,199 --> 01:19:08,269 No, no. No. 1361 01:19:08,994 --> 01:19:10,305 I-I-I need an auto. 1362 01:19:10,409 --> 01:19:11,755 I'll trade you my watch. 1363 01:19:11,859 --> 01:19:13,274 It's a really expensive watch. Do you have a car? 1364 01:19:13,377 --> 01:19:14,896 It's a Bulgari. This thing glows in the dark. 1365 01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:16,795 It's waterproof.I have motorcycle. 1366 01:19:30,394 --> 01:19:32,155 Cool, isn't it? 1367 01:19:32,258 --> 01:19:35,365 I always thought, why can't your personal tank also have a minibar? 1368 01:19:35,468 --> 01:19:36,953 Have a drink. 1369 01:19:37,056 --> 01:19:38,609 Do you mind? 1370 01:19:38,713 --> 01:19:40,128 Uh, yes. 1371 01:19:40,232 --> 01:19:42,372 He has a bit of a grudge against you, I'm afraid. 1372 01:19:42,475 --> 01:19:45,271 Something about a motorbike accident his friends had? 1373 01:19:45,375 --> 01:19:46,548 Why are you doing this? 1374 01:19:46,652 --> 01:19:48,412 I want something nobody else has. 1375 01:19:49,310 --> 01:19:51,139 When my father gifted-- 1376 01:19:54,211 --> 01:19:55,730 As I was saying, 1377 01:19:55,834 --> 01:19:58,767 when my father gifted his empire 1378 01:19:58,871 --> 01:20:01,322 -to my baby brother-- 1379 01:20:08,363 --> 01:20:09,882 Who is that? 1380 01:20:18,615 --> 01:20:20,824 Is that a Ken doll on a moped? 1381 01:20:21,618 --> 01:20:23,137 I know him from somewhere. 1382 01:20:23,240 --> 01:20:24,897 Oh, I-I-I doubt that. 1383 01:20:25,001 --> 01:20:27,210 Because what you are looking at 1384 01:20:27,313 --> 01:20:30,213 is a highly trained combat specialist, 1385 01:20:30,316 --> 01:20:33,906 forged in the furnaces of Afghanistan, Iraq, 1386 01:20:34,010 --> 01:20:36,598 Kuwait, Sa-- Sarasota... 1387 01:20:36,702 --> 01:20:38,773 Incredible skin. No eczema problems. 1388 01:20:38,877 --> 01:20:42,570 And he will not stop until I am safe! 1389 01:20:42,673 --> 01:20:44,883 So you pull this space tank over, 1390 01:20:44,986 --> 01:20:48,127 unless you would like to perish like his friends did. 1391 01:20:48,231 --> 01:20:51,648 And he is responsible for their perishment. 1392 01:20:51,751 --> 01:20:54,444 He might not have meant to, 1393 01:20:54,547 --> 01:20:57,826 but they... perished, so... 1394 01:21:12,772 --> 01:21:14,015 Okay, who-who is this? 1395 01:21:14,119 --> 01:21:16,017 I have seen him somewhere before. 1396 01:21:18,502 --> 01:21:19,745 No, no, no. 1397 01:21:19,848 --> 01:21:21,574 That's your cover model, isn't it? 1398 01:21:21,678 --> 01:21:23,956 Yes. I knew I knew him from somewhere. 1399 01:21:24,853 --> 01:21:25,924 Get up there. 1400 01:21:26,027 --> 01:21:27,408 And kill him creatively. 1401 01:21:27,511 --> 01:21:29,617 I love watching hunks fail. 1402 01:21:31,964 --> 01:21:34,208 I guess I-I will have that drink. 1403 01:21:35,899 --> 01:21:37,176 Oh, shit. 1404 01:21:37,280 --> 01:21:39,834 Is it okay if I just top 'er off? 1405 01:21:39,938 --> 01:21:41,111 Yeah, that's fine, but-- 1406 01:21:41,215 --> 01:21:43,182 Oh, my God, have you used a glass before? 1407 01:21:43,286 --> 01:21:44,632 Sorry. 1408 01:21:44,735 --> 01:21:46,220 What would Jack Trainer do? 1409 01:21:48,429 --> 01:21:49,499 It's hot in here. 1410 01:21:49,602 --> 01:21:52,605 Anyone else feeling how hot it is? 1411 01:21:52,709 --> 01:21:53,779 Are you trying to be sexy? 1412 01:21:53,882 --> 01:21:55,677 This is very weird. Please, stop. 1413 01:21:55,781 --> 01:21:57,679 I could set your world on fire. 1414 01:22:08,276 --> 01:22:10,589 Go to sleep! Go to sleep! 1415 01:22:10,692 --> 01:22:12,418 Go to sleep! Sleep! 1416 01:22:14,834 --> 01:22:16,664 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1417 01:22:16,767 --> 01:22:18,045 Time-out. 1418 01:22:18,148 --> 01:22:19,080 Time-in! 1419 01:22:24,913 --> 01:22:27,744 No! Don't shoot her! I need her! 1420 01:22:29,401 --> 01:22:31,265 Oh, Jesus! 1421 01:22:31,368 --> 01:22:32,783 Ow, ow, ow. 1422 01:22:36,718 --> 01:22:39,135 Move your foot! Move your foot! 1423 01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:44,416 -Go to sleep, asshole. 1424 01:22:44,519 --> 01:22:46,176 Get out there! Look! 1425 01:22:50,767 --> 01:22:52,079 A bigger guy? 1426 01:22:52,182 --> 01:22:53,390 Oh, no. 1427 01:22:54,736 --> 01:22:55,979 What? 1428 01:22:58,464 --> 01:22:59,396 Move it! 1429 01:23:01,122 --> 01:23:03,435 No, no, no. No, no, no. 1430 01:23:04,332 --> 01:23:06,231 Hey! Get in. 1431 01:23:06,748 --> 01:23:07,853 Him or me? 1432 01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:16,758 This is not one of your cheap, vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta. 1433 01:23:16,862 --> 01:23:18,829 This is real life. 1434 01:23:19,761 --> 01:23:21,625 And we will kill him. 1435 01:23:21,729 --> 01:23:23,455 Tell us where the tomb is. 1436 01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:39,436 Hi. So, whoever's in charge, 1437 01:23:39,540 --> 01:23:42,163 I need you to send officials to go here. 1438 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,371 Here. 1439 01:23:44,510 --> 01:23:46,340 We are closed. 1440 01:23:46,443 --> 01:23:47,789 You're closed? 1441 01:23:49,722 --> 01:23:52,829 You know I've been trying to take a nap for a year and a half? 1442 01:23:52,932 --> 01:23:54,486 A year and a half. 1443 01:23:55,418 --> 01:23:58,524 I have been burning the candle at both ends, 1444 01:23:58,628 --> 01:23:59,974 the midnight oil, 1445 01:24:00,078 --> 01:24:03,046 since way before my friend got kidnapped. 1446 01:24:03,150 --> 01:24:05,013 And all I want to do 1447 01:24:05,566 --> 01:24:07,706 is kick my feet back 1448 01:24:07,809 --> 01:24:09,052 and drink some wine 1449 01:24:09,156 --> 01:24:11,537 that I'm probably too tired to drink. 1450 01:24:11,641 --> 01:24:13,574 And I want a massage. 1451 01:24:13,677 --> 01:24:18,337 I want someone to massage my shoulders and my feet, 1452 01:24:18,441 --> 01:24:20,477 and I want it at the same time. 1453 01:24:20,581 --> 01:24:24,274 And I don't care if logistically that doesn't make sense. 1454 01:24:24,378 --> 01:24:27,035 Because I have worked hard. 1455 01:24:27,898 --> 01:24:30,349 The same way that I know that you have. 1456 01:24:31,247 --> 01:24:33,456 So I hate to ask you 1457 01:24:33,559 --> 01:24:35,941 to leave this place open a few more minutes, 1458 01:24:36,044 --> 01:24:37,977 because if we don't, 1459 01:24:38,081 --> 01:24:41,636 a very close friend of mine and her cover model 1460 01:24:41,740 --> 01:24:43,500 are going to die. 1461 01:25:06,351 --> 01:25:07,904 No good way in, boss! 1462 01:25:08,007 --> 01:25:10,148 What about the caves? 1463 01:25:10,907 --> 01:25:12,253 That's too dangerous! 1464 01:25:12,357 --> 01:25:15,360 Well, we'll be very careful then. 1465 01:25:28,925 --> 01:25:30,237 Well, come on! 1466 01:25:34,931 --> 01:25:36,760 This way.I have a rule about 1467 01:25:36,864 --> 01:25:38,383 not going into super creepy caves. 1468 01:25:49,739 --> 01:25:52,673 Julian? His name is Julian? 1469 01:25:52,776 --> 01:25:55,641 He seems more like a Buck or a Bruce. 1470 01:25:55,745 --> 01:25:57,229 Lead the way. 1471 01:26:00,922 --> 01:26:03,304 Go on. Don't be scared. 1472 01:26:33,058 --> 01:26:34,853 Watch your step there. 1473 01:26:34,956 --> 01:26:36,130 Bruce! 1474 01:26:36,234 --> 01:26:37,235 Julian. Oh, no!Julian! 1475 01:26:37,338 --> 01:26:38,960 Whoa. 1476 01:26:39,064 --> 01:26:40,583 Whoa. 1477 01:26:41,239 --> 01:26:42,723 Well... 1478 01:26:43,551 --> 01:26:45,277 Let's not have his death be in vain. 1479 01:26:45,381 --> 01:26:48,142 -Onward and upward. -What do you mean onward? 1480 01:26:48,246 --> 01:26:50,696 We're not gonna go and get him now, are we? 1481 01:26:50,800 --> 01:26:52,215 Oh, man. 1482 01:27:04,607 --> 01:27:06,264 Okay. 1483 01:27:06,367 --> 01:27:09,059 Yeah. Look, let's just go back to the boat. 1484 01:27:09,163 --> 01:27:11,027 This is over. Nobody else has to die. 1485 01:27:11,130 --> 01:27:13,305 No, no, no. Ha-ha! It's a breeze. 1486 01:27:13,409 --> 01:27:15,859 There's a tunnel. This could lead to the tomb. 1487 01:27:15,963 --> 01:27:17,827 That's not person-sized.Ah, speak for yourself. 1488 01:27:17,930 --> 01:27:20,208 Come on. It's practically a kiddie slide. 1489 01:27:20,312 --> 01:27:22,625 More like a rock sphincter.Or a troll anus. 1490 01:27:22,728 --> 01:27:25,110 All right, well, you are going through the anus-- 1491 01:27:25,213 --> 01:27:26,525 the hole-- the tunnel! 1492 01:27:26,629 --> 01:27:28,631 Why her?You are our canary in the coal mine. 1493 01:27:28,734 --> 01:27:30,149 No, that's impossible. I can't. 1494 01:27:30,253 --> 01:27:31,703 Please let us know if you get through. 1495 01:27:31,806 --> 01:27:34,119 If we don't hear from you, Fabio's got to die. 1496 01:27:34,222 --> 01:27:36,397 Wait, I'm the damsel in distress? 1497 01:27:37,087 --> 01:27:38,330 It's okay. I'm fine. 1498 01:28:14,366 --> 01:28:16,817 I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't. 1499 01:28:16,920 --> 01:28:18,646 -Hey. -What? 1500 01:28:19,371 --> 01:28:21,339 Hey, you smell that? 1501 01:28:21,442 --> 01:28:24,376 You mean centuries worth of bat feces? Yes, I definitely smell that. 1502 01:28:24,480 --> 01:28:26,689 You gotta take a big breath for me. 1503 01:28:31,797 --> 01:28:33,178 There you go. 1504 01:28:33,281 --> 01:28:35,145 You can do it, Loretta. 1505 01:28:48,089 --> 01:28:50,851 I think I see a way out. 1506 01:28:54,406 --> 01:28:56,615 Oh, cheese and rice! 1507 01:29:01,309 --> 01:29:02,656 I made it! 1508 01:29:02,759 --> 01:29:04,243 I made it! 1509 01:29:04,347 --> 01:29:06,832 -See? Totally safe. 1510 01:29:07,833 --> 01:29:08,903 Go on. Your turn. 1511 01:29:10,595 --> 01:29:13,494 I'm coming through! Be right there, okay? 1512 01:30:17,662 --> 01:30:19,802 Why would they build this here? 1513 01:30:20,906 --> 01:30:22,632 But how is anyone supposed to worship 1514 01:30:22,736 --> 01:30:24,427 or remember you if they can't even see it? 1515 01:30:24,531 --> 01:30:26,394 They aren't. 1516 01:30:26,498 --> 01:30:29,467 This isn't a monument to Kalaman's power. 1517 01:30:30,571 --> 01:30:33,160 It's a hiding place for a grieving woman. 1518 01:30:33,263 --> 01:30:36,715 Taha came here to be with her fallen lover. 1519 01:30:38,372 --> 01:30:39,822 She just wanted to be alone. 1520 01:30:41,479 --> 01:30:42,997 Taha doesn't want us here. 1521 01:30:43,101 --> 01:30:44,447 God, shut up, Rafi. 1522 01:30:44,551 --> 01:30:46,414 It's just the volcano. 1523 01:30:48,071 --> 01:30:49,383 Come on. 1524 01:30:54,526 --> 01:30:56,183 We have to keep going. 1525 01:31:04,363 --> 01:31:06,020 All right. Let's go, Muscles. 1526 01:31:06,814 --> 01:31:08,644 Open it up. 1527 01:31:08,747 --> 01:31:11,198 -Don't disturb them. -She will be wearing the headdress. 1528 01:31:11,301 --> 01:31:13,890 Come on. We didn't come all this way just to pay our respects. 1529 01:31:13,994 --> 01:31:15,651 I can't, um... 1530 01:31:18,412 --> 01:31:20,621 Uh...I'm sorry, abuela. 1531 01:31:41,849 --> 01:31:43,161 What is that? 1532 01:31:45,301 --> 01:31:47,717 Are those... seashells? 1533 01:31:48,476 --> 01:31:51,341 The crown is made of seashells? 1534 01:31:51,445 --> 01:31:52,998 Where's the treasure? 1535 01:31:53,999 --> 01:31:55,449 She's holding him. 1536 01:31:58,245 --> 01:32:00,005 You mean the dead guy? 1537 01:32:06,529 --> 01:32:07,737 Look. 1538 01:32:09,739 --> 01:32:11,465 It's their courtship. 1539 01:32:11,569 --> 01:32:15,469 Kalaman is searching the island for something. 1540 01:32:18,299 --> 01:32:19,887 Rare red seashells. 1541 01:32:19,991 --> 01:32:24,996 To prove his love, he gave her one shell every day for a year 1542 01:32:25,099 --> 01:32:26,653 and made them into a crown, 1543 01:32:26,756 --> 01:32:29,552 bright red like the flame of their love, 1544 01:32:29,656 --> 01:32:33,038 until the day came where she accepted his proposal. 1545 01:32:33,142 --> 01:32:34,902 It was never about jewels. 1546 01:32:35,006 --> 01:32:38,734 Kalaman and Taha's riches weren't material. 1547 01:32:40,667 --> 01:32:42,600 It was their love. 1548 01:32:42,703 --> 01:32:45,050 That's what it meant. That was enough. 1549 01:32:45,154 --> 01:32:46,362 So that's it? 1550 01:32:47,259 --> 01:32:50,159 All of that time and money 1551 01:32:50,987 --> 01:32:54,577 spent on, what, just a cheap metaphor? 1552 01:32:54,681 --> 01:32:57,476 It's a pretty rich metaphor.Oh, shut up! 1553 01:32:57,580 --> 01:32:59,617 -We got to go. We got to go now. 1554 01:32:59,720 --> 01:33:02,896 -Come on. Let's go. -No, no, no. You are staying here. 1555 01:33:02,999 --> 01:33:05,070 You think it's all so sweet and poetic. 1556 01:33:05,174 --> 01:33:07,659 Well, then you can stay here and spend your last moments 1557 01:33:07,763 --> 01:33:10,697 pondering the richness of that metaphor. 1558 01:33:11,387 --> 01:33:13,665 -Get in. -What? Come on, man. 1559 01:33:13,769 --> 01:33:16,219 -Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb. -Okay, okay. 1560 01:33:16,323 --> 01:33:18,946 It's better to be buried alive than buried dead, I guess. 1561 01:33:19,050 --> 01:33:22,329 -It's really not. -You know, it is a shame, really. 1562 01:33:22,432 --> 01:33:23,951 This is a hell of a story. 1563 01:33:24,055 --> 01:33:26,747 Pity you won't be around to tell it. Come on. 1564 01:33:26,851 --> 01:33:28,438 -But they'll die. -So will you 1565 01:33:28,542 --> 01:33:31,131 if you don't stop being such a snowflake! Get over here! 1566 01:33:40,727 --> 01:33:42,729 This is fine. This is not an active nightmare 1567 01:33:42,832 --> 01:33:44,489 I've had since I was 14 years old. 1568 01:33:47,837 --> 01:33:51,565 Why are you going so fast? It's not a race. 1569 01:33:56,570 --> 01:33:58,883 Wait, no! What are you doing? Come back here! 1570 01:33:58,986 --> 01:34:03,681 You may have bought the island, but now the island owns you! 1571 01:34:04,543 --> 01:34:06,028 You can't just leave me here! 1572 01:34:08,064 --> 01:34:10,446 Rafi! Come back! 1573 01:34:12,620 --> 01:34:14,036 I need a boat! 1574 01:34:23,459 --> 01:34:25,564 Hey, hey, stop! Stop! 1575 01:34:27,566 --> 01:34:29,430 Help! Help! 1576 01:34:29,534 --> 01:34:31,639 One of the locals just stole my boat! 1577 01:34:31,743 --> 01:34:33,503 Have you seen a woman? 1578 01:34:33,607 --> 01:34:36,714 She's a brunette in a sequined jumpsuit. 1579 01:34:36,817 --> 01:34:40,821 No. Is she in some sort of trouble? 1580 01:34:52,488 --> 01:34:54,214 It's kind of funny. 1581 01:34:55,629 --> 01:34:57,424 I used to think this... 1582 01:34:57,527 --> 01:34:59,426 this sort of thing was so romantic. 1583 01:34:59,529 --> 01:35:00,910 Yeah? 1584 01:35:01,014 --> 01:35:04,362 Being locked in a coffin about to be buried by lava, 1585 01:35:04,465 --> 01:35:07,054 or... cuddling dead people? 1586 01:35:07,848 --> 01:35:10,920 Just laying down with a lost love. 1587 01:35:11,024 --> 01:35:12,232 Like Taha did. 1588 01:35:14,786 --> 01:35:15,994 God.Oh... 1589 01:35:16,581 --> 01:35:17,962 Oh, God. 1590 01:35:18,065 --> 01:35:20,274 I'm sorry. 1591 01:35:20,378 --> 01:35:22,829 I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. 1592 01:35:22,932 --> 01:35:24,900 I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash. 1593 01:35:25,486 --> 01:35:26,764 You're right. 1594 01:35:27,799 --> 01:35:29,352 You're nothing like Dash. 1595 01:35:29,456 --> 01:35:32,493 You didn't ride in on a white horse to save me. 1596 01:35:32,597 --> 01:35:37,982 You rode in on a... borrowed scooter with a broken muffler. 1597 01:35:39,362 --> 01:35:40,778 Yeah. 1598 01:35:40,881 --> 01:35:43,781 I never could've written a Dash like you. 1599 01:35:45,679 --> 01:35:47,612 'Cause I never knew 1600 01:35:48,302 --> 01:35:50,097 a Dash like Alan. 1601 01:35:50,201 --> 01:35:52,651 I was so afraid of being hurt by life again 1602 01:35:52,755 --> 01:35:54,136 that I just stopped living. 1603 01:35:54,239 --> 01:35:56,241 Couldn't see the good things in front of me. 1604 01:35:56,345 --> 01:35:59,831 I'm just so sorry I didn't see you sooner. 1605 01:36:00,798 --> 01:36:02,523 I have a confession too. 1606 01:36:02,627 --> 01:36:06,527 See, I was really liking where this new story of ours was headed. 1607 01:36:06,631 --> 01:36:09,841 I just wanted to see how it was gonna turn out, I guess. 1608 01:36:11,153 --> 01:36:13,707 The Adventures of Loretta and Alan. 1609 01:36:15,813 --> 01:36:17,745 No, it would need a better title than that. 1610 01:36:17,849 --> 01:36:19,817 Yeah, definitely. Definitely. 1611 01:36:20,956 --> 01:36:24,752 Sorry. Just... Taha's femur is poking me. 1612 01:36:28,446 --> 01:36:30,206 Rafi must have left that. 1613 01:36:30,310 --> 01:36:32,830 How do you forget your crowbar? It's gonna help us escape. 1614 01:36:32,933 --> 01:36:34,555 No, he left it on purpose. 1615 01:36:34,659 --> 01:36:36,350 Oh, cool. I always liked him. 1616 01:36:36,454 --> 01:36:37,869 One...Okay. 1617 01:36:37,973 --> 01:36:39,802 ...two, three!Okay. 1618 01:36:39,906 --> 01:36:43,841 I would've preferred him to not leave us here in the first place, but... 1619 01:36:44,531 --> 01:36:45,359 Okay. 1620 01:37:06,415 --> 01:37:08,624 Dulcius ex asperis. 1621 01:37:12,973 --> 01:37:14,872 Sweeter after difficulty. 1622 01:37:21,499 --> 01:37:22,949 Go up! Run for the trees! 1623 01:37:24,157 --> 01:37:27,056 Wait. Nope. Never mind. Trees are on fire. 1624 01:37:27,505 --> 01:37:29,196 Okay. 1625 01:37:30,784 --> 01:37:32,648 We can go back through the tunnel. 1626 01:37:33,614 --> 01:37:34,892 Nope. Tunnel's a no-go. 1627 01:37:40,000 --> 01:37:41,968 Um, okay. I'm open to other ideas. 1628 01:37:42,071 --> 01:37:45,626 There's a current. We can follow it into the ocean. 1629 01:37:45,730 --> 01:37:47,352 How do we know what's on the other side? 1630 01:37:47,870 --> 01:37:48,940 We don't. 1631 01:37:50,769 --> 01:37:52,910 There's only one way to find out. 1632 01:37:54,463 --> 01:37:56,120 Worth the rash.Yeah? 1633 01:38:17,106 --> 01:38:18,107 Alan? 1634 01:38:26,564 --> 01:38:27,806 Alan! 1635 01:39:05,258 --> 01:39:06,259 Alan? 1636 01:39:06,362 --> 01:39:09,055 A-- Alan? 1637 01:39:10,263 --> 01:39:11,264 Alan! 1638 01:39:14,543 --> 01:39:16,269 Oh, my God! You're alive! 1639 01:39:16,372 --> 01:39:18,616 I'm alive.Oh, my God. I thought I killed you. 1640 01:39:21,584 --> 01:39:22,551 Is that Beth? 1641 01:39:22,654 --> 01:39:23,897 Loretta! 1642 01:39:24,518 --> 01:39:25,692 Beth! 1643 01:39:25,795 --> 01:39:27,452 Beth! 1644 01:39:27,556 --> 01:39:28,798 Beth! 1645 01:39:34,459 --> 01:39:35,840 Beth, you're here! 1646 01:39:36,496 --> 01:39:37,704 Why are you here? 1647 01:39:37,807 --> 01:39:40,603 I told you I got your back, girl! 1648 01:39:41,190 --> 01:39:42,985 I'm so sorry! 1649 01:39:43,089 --> 01:39:45,194 I destroyed the jumpsuit! 1650 01:39:45,643 --> 01:39:46,644 What? 1651 01:39:46,747 --> 01:39:49,267 Never mind! Later. 1652 01:39:49,371 --> 01:39:51,373 I found a British guy in a cave. 1653 01:39:51,476 --> 01:39:53,961 I thought he was a little boy, but he has a full beard. 1654 01:39:54,065 --> 01:39:57,344 Beth, that's Fairfax! He kidnapped us! 1655 01:39:57,448 --> 01:40:00,209 He's a bad guy, Beth! He killed my trainer! 1656 01:40:00,313 --> 01:40:01,314 Get him! 1657 01:40:01,831 --> 01:40:03,005 Stop him! 1658 01:40:10,840 --> 01:40:13,050 I got your back, girl. 1659 01:40:15,190 --> 01:40:17,157 Where were you running? It's a boat. 1660 01:40:17,261 --> 01:40:18,779 This guy's hilarious. 1661 01:40:18,883 --> 01:40:20,609 Got you. 1662 01:40:20,712 --> 01:40:21,989 Swim over to the rock! 1663 01:40:22,093 --> 01:40:24,164 I don't got you. No, I got you.I got you. 1664 01:40:24,268 --> 01:40:26,166 We're gonna get you. It's gonna be okay. 1665 01:40:26,270 --> 01:40:28,858 "Finding refuge on a nearby rock, 1666 01:40:28,962 --> 01:40:31,068 he lifted her from the water, 1667 01:40:31,171 --> 01:40:34,347 his powerful arms pulling her body close. 1668 01:40:34,450 --> 01:40:35,589 Alan whispered..." 1669 01:40:35,693 --> 01:40:38,247 Shh. You're safe now. 1670 01:40:40,663 --> 01:40:45,323 "In that moment, Loretta could feel a new adventure was just beginning." 1671 01:40:46,600 --> 01:40:49,258 "The heart-pounding passion of the narrow escape 1672 01:40:49,362 --> 01:40:52,296 only inflamed Loretta's desire for him. 1673 01:40:52,399 --> 01:40:56,610 She was thirsty for the hot lava soon to be pulsing from his..." 1674 01:40:56,714 --> 01:41:00,304 Don't you go stopping right at the good part. 1675 01:41:01,650 --> 01:41:03,479 It's nothing she hasn't read before. 1676 01:41:03,583 --> 01:41:04,963 Didn't I tell you? 1677 01:41:05,067 --> 01:41:08,070 The most beautiful beach in the world. 1678 01:41:08,174 --> 01:41:11,487 Maybe later, I'll show you the Cove of Enchantment? 1679 01:41:11,591 --> 01:41:13,179 No, you can take Randy. 1680 01:41:13,282 --> 01:41:16,941 Remember, you are my platonic man friend. 1681 01:41:17,044 --> 01:41:20,082 Platonic? I like the sound of that. 1682 01:41:20,186 --> 01:41:22,843 Not sure what it means, but I like the sound of it. 1683 01:41:22,947 --> 01:41:25,156 Here you go, Randy. 1684 01:41:26,916 --> 01:41:29,229 My dear.You are an angel. Thank you. 1685 01:41:29,885 --> 01:41:31,300 How did you know? 1686 01:41:43,209 --> 01:41:46,004 Nice way to end a book tour, right?Mm-hmm. 1687 01:41:46,557 --> 01:41:48,386 Um... 1688 01:41:48,490 --> 01:41:52,735 You know, I have a phrase I like to use in moments like these, actually. 1689 01:41:52,839 --> 01:41:54,081 Um... 1690 01:41:55,566 --> 01:41:56,981 Quid deinde? 1691 01:41:58,120 --> 01:42:01,296 It's Latin. It means, uh, "What's next?" 1692 01:42:03,194 --> 01:42:04,713 Quid cogitas? 1693 01:42:04,816 --> 01:42:06,197 Mmm. 1694 01:42:06,922 --> 01:42:08,095 Buca di Beppo. 1695 01:42:11,513 --> 01:42:13,170 Yeah. I know zero other Latin.No. Yes. 1696 01:42:13,273 --> 01:42:16,207 I looked it up for this moment right now. 1697 01:42:17,035 --> 01:42:19,176 So, what does come next? 1698 01:42:19,279 --> 01:42:21,764 How would you write this?I don't know. 1699 01:42:21,868 --> 01:42:24,422 How would you write it?Do we really want me to write this? 1700 01:42:24,526 --> 01:42:26,873 Just try. Take a stab at it.Okay. I'll write it. 1701 01:42:26,976 --> 01:42:28,323 Okay. 1702 01:42:28,426 --> 01:42:31,429 "We were-- They were, uh... standing on a beach." 1703 01:42:31,533 --> 01:42:33,466 Sets the stage for the audience. They know where we are. 1704 01:42:33,569 --> 01:42:35,364 You're already laughing. Why are you laughing at me? 1705 01:42:35,468 --> 01:42:37,263 I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.You are. 1706 01:42:37,366 --> 01:42:41,370 "There are palm trees above a brown 1707 01:42:42,233 --> 01:42:44,856 bark-like hair of the maiden. 1708 01:42:44,960 --> 01:42:46,824 There is a dead jellyfish--" 1709 01:42:46,927 --> 01:42:49,378 All you're doing is describing what you're actually seeing right now. 1710 01:42:49,482 --> 01:42:52,312 "He's nervous because he really likes her." 1711 01:42:53,175 --> 01:42:55,212 It's nice writing. 1712 01:42:55,315 --> 01:42:56,627 Thanks.You're welcome. 1713 01:42:56,730 --> 01:42:57,835 I'll keep going. 1714 01:42:57,938 --> 01:42:59,526 "He looked deep in her eyes. 1715 01:42:59,630 --> 01:43:03,081 The only thing that could compare to the pulse of that ocean 1716 01:43:03,875 --> 01:43:04,945 was the throbbing in the--" 1717 01:43:05,049 --> 01:43:08,155 Okay, no, you can't throb.Why not? 1718 01:43:08,259 --> 01:43:09,985 Can't come out of the gate with a throb. 1719 01:43:10,088 --> 01:43:12,401 You throb all the time.I don't come out of the gate with it. 1720 01:43:12,505 --> 01:43:14,403 You have to earn the throb.Who made you the queen of throb? 1721 01:43:14,507 --> 01:43:18,200 It's usually a chapter four thing. You want it brought up appropriately in four. 1722 01:43:18,304 --> 01:43:20,409 I think you throb in all the chapters. "Pulsating." 1723 01:43:20,513 --> 01:43:22,446 It's a precursor to throb. 1724 01:43:22,549 --> 01:43:24,655 "Undulating."You just jumped to five. 1725 01:43:24,758 --> 01:43:27,623 How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?Just like a regular kiss? 1726 01:43:27,727 --> 01:43:29,591 Yeah. Like a beginning-of-the-chapter kiss. 1727 01:43:29,694 --> 01:43:31,282 I'm good at starting-- 1728 01:43:35,148 --> 01:43:36,632 How was that? Any notes? 1729 01:43:37,392 --> 01:43:40,774 Very good first chapter attempt. 1730 01:43:41,913 --> 01:43:43,743 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1731 01:43:43,846 --> 01:43:46,055 ♪ I can tell You got big, big energy♪ 1732 01:43:46,159 --> 01:43:48,368 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1733 01:43:48,472 --> 01:43:50,370 ♪ But I might let you try it Off the Hennessy♪ 1734 01:43:50,474 --> 01:43:52,752 ♪ Make 'em sang to this thing Like a melody♪ 1735 01:43:52,855 --> 01:43:55,133 ♪ And if your girl ain't right I got the remedy♪ 1736 01:43:55,237 --> 01:43:57,688 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1737 01:43:57,791 --> 01:44:00,346 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1738 01:44:00,449 --> 01:44:01,933 ♪ Tell me how you want it♪ 1739 01:44:02,037 --> 01:44:03,901 ♪ Three, two, one And I'm on it♪ 1740 01:44:04,004 --> 01:44:05,868 ♪ Feel good, don't it? Hood chick, you in a bonnet♪ 1741 01:44:05,972 --> 01:44:07,939 ♪ I'ma bust it on a pole Like Onyx♪ 1742 01:44:08,043 --> 01:44:11,218 ♪ I'm just being honest Juicy, Minute Maid♪ 1743 01:44:11,322 --> 01:44:13,013 ♪ But can't do it One minute, man♪ 1744 01:44:13,117 --> 01:44:15,602 ♪ Not a side or a main I'm the only one he entertain♪ 1745 01:44:15,706 --> 01:44:17,777 ♪ Spending his Mine in the bank♪ 1746 01:44:17,880 --> 01:44:21,505 ♪ I like what I see A boss like you Need a boss like me♪ 1747 01:44:21,608 --> 01:44:23,576 ♪ Daddy from the street So he move low key♪ 1748 01:44:23,679 --> 01:44:25,957 ♪ Tryna ride that mic Like karaoke♪ 1749 01:44:26,061 --> 01:44:28,546 ♪ On the count of three Bad, get money♪ 1750 01:44:28,650 --> 01:44:30,721 ♪ Broke to the left We don't want it♪ 1751 01:44:30,824 --> 01:44:32,999 ♪ I'm the one they love to hate But they can't get past♪ 1752 01:44:33,102 --> 01:44:36,243 ♪ Pretty face, no waist And a big old back♪ 1753 01:44:36,347 --> 01:44:38,280 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1754 01:44:38,384 --> 01:44:40,524 ♪ I can tell you got Big, big energy♪ 1755 01:44:40,627 --> 01:44:42,733 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1756 01:44:42,836 --> 01:44:44,804 ♪ But I might let you try it Off the Hennessy♪ 1757 01:44:44,907 --> 01:44:47,082 ♪ Make 'em sing to this thing Like a melody♪ 1758 01:44:47,185 --> 01:44:49,533 ♪ And if your girl ain't right I got the remedy♪ 1759 01:44:49,636 --> 01:44:51,776 ♪ It ain't too many of 'em That can handle me♪ 1760 01:44:51,880 --> 01:44:54,296 ♪ Bad chick I could be your fantasy♪ 1761 01:44:54,400 --> 01:44:58,231 ♪ Got that real big energy...♪ 1762 01:45:06,032 --> 01:45:07,516 Psst! 1763 01:45:08,172 --> 01:45:09,656 Psst. 1764 01:45:10,623 --> 01:45:11,624 Psst. 1765 01:45:13,695 --> 01:45:14,661 Mother-- 1766 01:45:14,765 --> 01:45:16,491 You were dead. 1767 01:45:16,594 --> 01:45:19,459 Your brains came out of your face and hit the back of my throat. 1768 01:45:19,563 --> 01:45:22,117 -He was in my mouth. -Don't say he was in your mouth. 1769 01:45:22,220 --> 01:45:23,843 -I could taste you. -Don't ever say that. 1770 01:45:23,946 --> 01:45:29,124 We only use 10% of our brain, so I just switched to another 10%. 1771 01:45:29,227 --> 01:45:32,058 So, you're okay? 1772 01:45:32,161 --> 01:45:33,853 One hundred percent. 1773 01:45:33,956 --> 01:45:35,441 Meaning 10%. 1774 01:45:35,544 --> 01:45:37,304 We thought you were dead. 1775 01:45:37,408 --> 01:45:40,135 Naturally, I have some anger issues I need to let go of. 1776 01:45:40,238 --> 01:45:42,586 Of course.And resentment. 1777 01:45:44,484 --> 01:45:45,830 So good to see you, man. 1778 01:45:45,934 --> 01:45:48,005 Okay, let's keep the chatter down. 1779 01:45:48,108 --> 01:45:52,492 We're closing our eyes and reconnecting to our breath. 1780 01:45:53,562 --> 01:45:54,667 Great. 1781 01:45:55,495 --> 01:45:56,496 Great. 135140

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