Original subtitles

Subtransl.ed balloumowgly

Blue Beetle

Blue Beetle, Blue Beetle

When you need some help He'll save the day

Blue Beetle fights evil

Blue Beetle With a strobe-light gun, he's on the way

Friends, everyone but the villains

Our hero Flying his trusty bug

When not fighting crime He's chillin'

But always willing To step on a thug

Blue Beetle Blue Beetle, Blue Beetle

When you need some help He'll save the day

Blue Beetle's on the way To save the day

Where in the name of Neptune is it?

The Boss said we don't stop lookin' until we find it.

You can stop looking.

I've found it! The famous Colossal Star diamond!

Now, let's get out of here.

You're not going anywhere, Octo-morons!

Blue Beetle!

Sorry, Squid Gang, that diamond's bigger than your head,

and has a lot more brains.

This diamond means everything to us.

We must have it! You won't stop us.

Well, I'm not here to leave mints on the pillows.

Got it.

Haven't lost a game of "keep away" yet.

There's always a first time, Bug Head.

Woo-hoo! Feels great!

Sayonara, sucker!

Never seen the Squids so emotional. What could have them so worked up?

That is the question.

Sufferin' scarabs!

Oh, it's you, Question.

Don't do that.

Nothing surprises quite like an unexpected question.

Look, Question, I'd love to hear more of your weird criminal theories

on how moral truths exist independently of human knowledge, or whatever,

but right now, I need to get that diamond back from the Squids.

Getting it back doesn't get you the answers you need.

It gets me the diamond, that's what I need.

But the answer to this mystery is this question.

"Why did they want it in the first place?"

A ginormous diamond worth $5 million?

That ginormous diamond might have more value than money.

You always read way more into things

-than are actually there.

A-ha!

Oh, did you find a blue button,

because one fell off my glove.

A cap from an eight-ounce bottle

of the infamous, over-caffeinated beverage...

Zortz.

Zortz Cola. I thought they stopped making that stuff.

Zortz Co. went bankrupt when the FDA discovered

they'd lied about the amount of caffeine

and other nearly-toxic chemicals the drink contained.

How "nearly toxic?"

I mean, I'll still be able to have kids, right?

That is a question for your urologist.

Okay, if Zortz Co. Is out of business,

what's one of their bottlecaps doing in a freshly-cleaned hotel room?

There are three places in Hub City, that still sell the outdated soda.

So, we go to those markets and find out who bought the soda,

and that person could have the diamond.

Dang it! I hate it when your weird theories are right.

We can evade reality,

but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality.

So, like, what do you squares want?

'Cause most people just come here for the Zortz.

Groovy stuff, man.

I notice you have one of those new closed-circuit TV security systems.

We'd like to know exactly who is buying Zortz.

Like, everyone, Daddy-O.

It's the ginchiest.

Zortz is out of production for a reason.

Water is the only drink anyone should consume.

We need to see those videotapes.

You're not the fuzz,

why don't you make like Dizzy Gillespie and scat!

The question isn't who is going to let me...

It's who is going to stop me?

I, uh... like, see your point, Clyde.

-There. -Where?

Oh, yeah!

He dropped a penny in the leave-a-penny jar.

That's what you call a stand-up cat.

Let's get that penny jar back to The Bug.

Hey! It's "leave a penny, take a penny."

A penny. Not all the pennies, man.

I'll send you a check!

Here it is.

The Squid's penny.

Well... How do you know it's the right penny?

It's the only one without fingerprints. Squids wear gloves.

Hmm, and it's much shinier than the other pennies to boot,

but what is this substance?

Let's get a chemical breakdown of whatever this coating is.

Cerium oxide?

That's a high-grade polishing agent.

Very expensive.

It's used to polish mirrors for sophisticated telescopic equipment.

I know. Kord Industries used it

on the telescopic amplifier we sold to the military.

Uh, I mean... they sold to the military,

which I read about in the paper.

That amplifier was stolen last week,

right out from under their noses.

It's not your fault. There's no way you, aka Ted Kord,

could've known the military would've been so careless with your invention.

No, no, I'm not... Ted Kord.

Well, I mean who is Ted Kord.

You, sir, that is not...

If this diamond theft has something to do with the telescopic amplifier,

that you, as Ted Kord, invented--

-I'm not Ted Kord. -...we need to find it.

That's something I can help with.

Every Kord product has a brilliantly designed homing beacon created by...

me, Ted Kord.

Boss, you're gonna be thrilled! We got you the diamond!

A few more adjustments,

and my magnificent aura oscillator

will be ready for its final crowning glory!

Sorry to drop in unannounced...

Doctor Spectro.

Yes, it is I,

Doctor Spectro,

the emperor of emotions, the finagler of feelings.

You societal leeches can make it easier on yourselves

and hand that diamond over.

No way! This diamond belongs to Doctor Spectro!

Spectro uses emotional manipulation to control people.

That's how he--

That's how he got the Squids to steal that diamond.

By artificially instilling affection and loyalty.

So, you've encountered Doctor Spectro before?

No, it just seemed obvious.

They do whatever I command.

And soon, so will everyone on the planet!

He's going to use the giant diamond, the perfect refracting element,

to make the telescopic amplifier an emotional amplifier.

With that kind of power, he could take over the world.

We aren't going to let him.

But we are.

Captain Atom and Nightshade?

But you're fellow Charlton action heroes.

You Squids sit this one out.

I want to see the Nuclear Nemesis and the Debutante of Darkness

battle these interlopers.

Don't worry, Doctor Spectro. We'll incinerate this insect.

And punch this one right where his face should be.

Spectro has them under his control, just like the Squids. But how?

Unlike the Squids, they're strong-willed, and individualistic.

Of course, he must've imbued the soda with a chemical,

which heightens his emotional-manipulating waves

creating the perfect substance for mind control.

Snap out of it, Nightshade.

You hate Spectro more than you hate an outdoor brunch in Palm Springs.

Oh, I used to think that.

But now, I understand him.

He deserves love, devotion, just as you deserve this!

Now, ain't that a kick in the head.

Captain Atom, resist Spectro's control.

I want to.

I don't know how his emotional rays penetrated my nuclear forcefield.

That soda did this to you. Use your energy ray

to change its molecular structure and create an antidote.

I'll try.

I hope this works.

Whoa, that was just what the doctor ordered,

-and not Doctor Spectro!

A question for Nightshade...

How would you like a nice, refreshing soda?

Why, you faceless freak!

Blue Beetle? Sorry about the shakedown.

Let's make sure Spectro gets it a lot worse.

Count on it. Q, you and Cap take the Squids.

Shade and I will get Spectro.

Too late!

-Too late.

Waves of sadness bombarding me.

Everything about me is a lie.

I'm too depressed to fight.

What if jazz is, like, the biggest sellout of all?

Citizens of Hub City,

you are under the control of Doctor Spectro!

Obey my will. It is your only hope.

Must fight it. I'll never live for the sake of another man's will!

What? Impossible!

No, objective reality.

-Emotion, sadness, anger, love...

they're not real, just hormonal imbalances.

Once you subjugate emotion with reality,

which I do every day, emotion becomes powerless.

Facts don't care about your feelings. And the fact is...

I'm about to knock you out.

No!

No! My super sad subjects,

my depressed darlings, they are no more.

Okay, Squids, this is the end of the line.

Scratch everything off your to-do list except jail.

But we were under his spell.

You can't blame us.

Q, I have to admit, I underestimated you.

You're an incredible hero

and an even better friend.

Friendship isn't objectively real, either.

Ugh, you really are the worst.

Come on.

Let's get Spectro into The Bug and off to jail.

Sufferin' scarabs!

-He's gone! -What?

That distortion, just like Nightshade's.

He must've slipped through reality into a pocket dimension.

No, he can't. He must face justice.

He must be punished for his crimes.

Easy there, buddy.

Don't get swept away by a hormonal imbalance.

No, it's objectively wrong.

Come on, pal. You're all keyed up.

You need to relax.

I'll take you out for a nice, refreshing soda.

Subtransl.ed balloumowgly