Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,760
Hey, lady.
2
00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:28,660
It's been a while.
3
00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:32,070
Oh. Ooh.
4
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:37,720
- Hi.
- Hey.
5
00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,110
- Name's Jean.
- I know who you are.
6
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:52,320
Holy shit.
7
00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:53,930
Oh.
8
00:01:00,410 --> 00:01:04,180
Norm, honey, I'm a lesbian.
9
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:07,460
And you're what they call asexual.
10
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:10,430
Yeah?
11
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,590
Right, so, um...
12
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:17,520
I want Sam to move in with me.
13
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,620
Well, us, really, because
I don't want you to move out.
14
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:23,600
We'd like you to live at the house.
15
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:26,180
That is, if you're willing to accept
16
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,990
that Sam and I are now together.
17
00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:31,840
Yep.
18
00:01:33,790 --> 00:01:35,550
Hey, hey. What's the matter?
19
00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:38,870
Well, all my dreams are coming true.
20
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:42,200
Oh. Yeah.
21
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:46,430
I figure I'll put you guys
in the spare room,
22
00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:48,650
and, uh, Norm can sleep
out on the couch.
23
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,660
Uh, he's sleeping with me.
24
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,010
Wow, really?
25
00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:54,710
I had no idea you guys
were such libertines.
26
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:58,350
No, Sam'll be in with Norm
because of my snoring.
27
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,720
If I've gone this long
without a penis inside me,
28
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,170
I don't think Norm's
is gonna break the streak.
29
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,250
So I'm glad you invited us out.
30
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:12,770
It gives me an excuse to visit
this part of the country.
31
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,960
I love it here, so I assume you hate it
32
00:02:14,990 --> 00:02:16,250
for some reason.
33
00:02:16,340 --> 00:02:18,670
Yeah, Jean, central Florida
was once nothing
34
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,430
but swamp land, mosquitoes,
and the last remnants
35
00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:23,550
of a decimated Seminole tribe.
36
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:25,020
Back in the 1920s,
37
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:28,120
in order to lure tourists
away from the beaches,
38
00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:29,880
the local hucksters began building
39
00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:31,680
a lot of places of low character
40
00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:35,190
like, uh, greyhound dog tracks
and live mermaid shows
41
00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:38,890
and alligator farms,
initiating the rube stampede
42
00:02:38,930 --> 00:02:41,170
to this incubator of butt sweat,
43
00:02:41,210 --> 00:02:43,140
continuing into the turbulent '60s,
44
00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:45,870
all culminating in 1971
45
00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:47,890
when the greatest huckster
of them all...
46
00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:50,640
Mr. Walt Disney... decided to play God
47
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,770
with his... his simulacrum
of G-rated Babylon.
48
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,800
And that is when the millions
upon millions of folks started
49
00:02:57,940 --> 00:03:01,290
flocking to this rancid cum gutter.
50
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,400
We're going to Disney World
on Thursday.
51
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,150
Don't worry.
We didn't get you a ticket.
52
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:09,370
But I did get you something
for paying for my surgery.
53
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,030
Oh, Jean, you should have,
54
00:03:12,070 --> 00:03:13,370
'cause that shit was
55
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,780
way more expensive than I
thought it was gonna be.
56
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,170
What have you always dreamed of?
57
00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:19,840
Pleasuring myself orally.
58
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:21,860
No, I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
59
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,640
I have reconnected with Mom.
60
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,620
We're having lunch with her tomorrow.
61
00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,160
Our mom?
62
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,890
How, uh... how the hell
did you find her?
63
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,850
I'm getting really good at Facebook.
64
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,070
I finally tracked her down
by putting in her name.
65
00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:37,430
She was so excited to hear from me.
66
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,100
She wants to see both of us.
67
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,120
Jean, Lorraine abandoned
68
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,680
the both of us when we were children.
69
00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:44,840
I mean, you sure you wan
to invite somebody like that
70
00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:46,960
back into your life? 'Cause I do not.
71
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,150
If my relationship with Sam
has taught me anything,
72
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,690
it's that you have to take
risks to find happiness.
73
00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:57,180
I mean, sure, it might be
scary, but it's so worth it.
74
00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,340
All right, well, I-I'll do it for you.
75
00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:00,930
But definitely not for her.
76
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:06,900
You know, two years ago
77
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:08,500
if you'd told me I would be excited
78
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:12,840
to visit my brother with my
"throuple" and my new vagina...
79
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:16,380
the most surprising part
would be wanting to see you.
80
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,570
Oh, well, thank you, Jean.
81
00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:21,230
I have a few thoughts of my own
about the current moment.
82
00:04:21,270 --> 00:04:23,250
Yeah, no. Don't know, don't care.
83
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,950
Me and Sam are gonna go have sex.
84
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:26,670
- Oh.
- Come on, baby.
85
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,080
Time to ride the jelly wagon.
86
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,280
Okay.
87
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,060
I guess I just wasn't cut out
to be a wife...
88
00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:38,450
or a mother.
89
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:41,200
And your father certainly never
made it easier for me...
90
00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:43,460
But I never
should have left you with him.
91
00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:47,500
I... I'll never, ever
forgive myself for that.
92
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:51,360
We all make mistakes, Mom.
93
00:04:51,430 --> 00:04:53,410
I know I've made my share.
94
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:57,150
Jim, you certainly have
your regrets, right?
95
00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:58,650
Oh, my goodness.
96
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:00,410
I mean, I once blacked out and woke up
97
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,130
dancing at a Steely Dan concert.
98
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,320
No, no, that one...
that one returns to me
99
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,690
in my darkest moments.
100
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,430
Gee, Mom, shouldn't you
be hitting the road?
101
00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:10,630
Very long drive back to Valdosta.
102
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:13,580
No, I've got me a room
at the Red Roof Inn.
103
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,900
You know where the 92 meets the 570?
104
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,430
- Oh, God, this is hot.
- Oh, here.
105
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:22,150
Let me help you.
106
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:24,780
Oh, you sweet girl.
107
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,800
I have got to tinkle.
108
00:05:26,970 --> 00:05:29,710
Another thing that's fun again,
thanks to you.
109
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:32,040
All my dreams are coming true.
110
00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:40,040
All right, you can cut the shit.
111
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,510
Oh, come on, Jimmy.
112
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,240
Ain't you happy to see
your long-lost mama?
113
00:05:44,290 --> 00:05:45,980
I thought we had an agreement
114
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,720
that you would stay away from Jean.
115
00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:51,260
God, she's about as dull
as a butter knife.
116
00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:53,740
"Tinkle"? Jesus Christ.
117
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:55,780
Yeah, she doesn't know about us, okay?
118
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,130
God damn it, I'm just... I'm
trying not to screw up anymore.
119
00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:00,960
Oh, well, good luck with that.
120
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,260
- Can I top you off?
- No.
121
00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:04,080
- Hey, I'm sober now.
- Oh.
122
00:06:06,970 --> 00:06:10,000
- Actually been 14 months.
- Oh.
123
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,050
So you think it's gonna last.
124
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:14,100
Well, that makes it even better.
125
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,200
Can we just get to it, please?
126
00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:23,680
- What's the angle?
- Smart boy.
127
00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:25,120
I need a favor.
128
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:27,760
Oh, what do the Russians want now?
129
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,370
Oh, I don't work for them anymore.
130
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,580
They have a terrible ageism problem.
131
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:33,600
Yeah, and you can't exactly call HR
132
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,640
on Sergei the Face Slasher,
133
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,440
which is a weird name for him
because he just shot everyone
134
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,290
and not necessarily in the face.
135
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:41,400
Don't care.
136
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,750
Yeah, and I may be getting older.
137
00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:44,530
But let's face it.
138
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,230
I'm keeping it tight for my age.
139
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,940
Yeah, when I throw a fuck at someone,
140
00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:50,420
it don't hit the floor.
141
00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:51,660
Jesus, Mom.
142
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,590
I'm working for the Armenians now.
143
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,710
Now, that's a group who has
real respect for their elders.
144
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,920
Must come from surviving the holocaust
145
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,270
'cause the Jews have it, too.
146
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,670
Jesus Chri... You're exhausting.
147
00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:02,760
Do you know that?
148
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,460
Everything is a digression
wrapped in a tangent.
149
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,530
Holy shit. I get that from you.
150
00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:09,300
Here's the play.
151
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:11,570
With legalized sports betting,
152
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,570
there's a flood
of dumb money coming in,
153
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,830
which will push
the lines all over the place.
154
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:19,910
A smart person with inside
information can make a killing.
155
00:07:20,010 --> 00:07:22,240
Ma, I'm gonna stop you right
there, okay? 'Cause I'm out.
156
00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:26,150
No, the only thing you can't do
in baseball is bet on baseball.
157
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:28,770
Hall of Fame is filled
with cheaters and racists
158
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:30,920
and wife beaters,
but not one human being
159
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,350
who ever gambled on the game.
160
00:07:32,460 --> 00:07:34,050
You don't have to do anything.
161
00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:36,490
Just get your sweet little old
mother into the locker room
162
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,460
so she can ask a few questions.
163
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,420
I've got a kid at MIT
who's running the analytics.
164
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:43,020
The Armenians are the bank.
165
00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:45,400
You wet your beak. Everybody wins.
166
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:47,380
No, the money's not the issue, okay?
167
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,010
It's the whole "getting banned
from baseball" aspect
168
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,450
that is slowing my roll here.
169
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:55,670
Hey, I did you a favor.
I'm calling in my marker.
170
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,110
You know, I think time might
have inflated the magnitude
171
00:07:58,150 --> 00:07:59,300
of this favor in your mind.
172
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:01,360
Yeah, you got me a job
calling cockfights.
173
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,470
You didn't tell me I'd have
to bury the loser.
174
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,940
'Cause that shit... that takes its...
175
00:08:06,030 --> 00:08:07,360
takes its toll.
176
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,360
Okay, have it your way.
177
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,430
Oh, by the way,
178
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,720
you should be the one
who tells your sister
179
00:08:13,870 --> 00:08:15,890
about the secret relationship
you've had
180
00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:18,360
with the mother she's been
craving all these years,
181
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,340
'cause if I have to do it, I'm
gonna be real mean about it.
182
00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:23,870
Well, you are one vicious
and brutal cun...
183
00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:25,150
fusing menu.
184
00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:26,510
I mean, there's a whole page
185
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:27,960
of specials in here.
I don't even see it.
186
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,440
So where are we headed to next?
187
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:34,310
Um, you know, Mom wanted
to see where I work.
188
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,300
So we're gonna do
a little mother-son trip
189
00:08:36,340 --> 00:08:38,040
out to the ball park,
if you don't mind.
190
00:08:38,070 --> 00:08:41,250
Mind? This is what I wanted for you.
191
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:42,940
I couldn't have pictured
192
00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:44,690
this day going any better.
193
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:47,400
Me either.
194
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,540
Uh, hey, everybody.
195
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,340
I want to introduce you to my mom...
196
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:57,880
Mrs. Lorraine Brockmire.
197
00:09:02,690 --> 00:09:04,880
- Mom...
- Well, this is first time
198
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,740
that I've been to a baseball stadium
199
00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:10,130
since Jim's father passed away.
200
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,120
I didn't really care much for the game,
201
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,990
when I was younger.
202
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,300
I had to learn it from Jim Senior
203
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,380
when he was teaching little Jimmy.
204
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:23,990
I would overhear them playing catch,
205
00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,690
you know, every night,
206
00:09:25,730 --> 00:09:28,870
outside my open kitchen window.
207
00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:30,950
It's been...
208
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:35,990
It's been hard for me
to watch it alone, you know?
209
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:37,340
I'm so sorry.
210
00:09:37,370 --> 00:09:39,890
Look at me...
just carrying on like this.
211
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:42,370
- Please forgive me.
- Jesus Christ.
212
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,070
No, hey. It's... It's fine.
213
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,860
Ma'am, it's fine.
I'm uh... I'm Lance...
214
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,890
- Kuchar.
- I know who you are, Kooch.
215
00:09:50,930 --> 00:09:53,020
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
216
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:55,720
It's so good to meet...
God, what a grip.
217
00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:00,080
Oh, it feels like that's a
blister on your pitching hand.
218
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,600
How often do you get these?
219
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,890
How would you like to meet
the other guys?
220
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,940
More than I can say.
221
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,040
All right, let's see
what I can do here.
222
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:12,120
Carlos, this is Lorraine, Jim's mom.
223
00:10:15,050 --> 00:10:16,620
She's divorcing me....
224
00:10:18,290 --> 00:10:23,580
Because she found texts from some girl
225
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,610
that I barely even cheated with.
226
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:28,640
- Oh, you poor thing.
- I can't eat.
227
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:31,350
I can't sleep. I'm freaking out.
228
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,490
My agent's got me booked
with some therapist next week.
229
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,640
Oh, don't see a therapist.
230
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,920
They put these awful thoughts
in your head.
231
00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:45,270
You stuff this all down. Numb yourself.
232
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,540
They don't drug-test for alcohol.
233
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:48,900
Okay, Mom.
234
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,270
We... we bothered these nice
gentlemen for long enough.
235
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,380
It's time for us to go.
236
00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:56,050
Thank you, Kooch.
237
00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:57,990
See you, fellas.
238
00:10:58,070 --> 00:10:59,510
Come on, Mom.
239
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,500
Well, my work is done here.
240
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,220
Kooch is ripe for a mental breakdown.
241
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:06,270
- Shh.
- Well, I have "Incepted" him.
242
00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:09,660
Oh, you would like
that movie, you monster.
243
00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:13,580
So next weekend I'll head up
to Lakeland with you.
244
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:15,170
Oh, no, no, no, next weekend.
245
00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:16,860
You got what you wanted. Now just...
246
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:18,390
leave us alone. We're done.
247
00:11:18,430 --> 00:11:20,810
Listen, you don't kill the golden goose
248
00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:22,850
just as it's starting to lay eggs.
249
00:11:22,990 --> 00:11:25,620
You help me out with this,
I'll continue to play
250
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,900
the doting mother to Jean
251
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:29,590
until she dies...
252
00:11:29,630 --> 00:11:31,950
because she's definitely
going before me.
253
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:33,730
Have you seen how she eats?
254
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:36,340
Who orders loaded tots for brunch?
255
00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:38,030
This is extortion.
256
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:39,980
Nobody's breaking any legs.
257
00:11:40,140 --> 00:11:42,690
It's a little emotional
violence, that's all.
258
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,380
It's family, you know.
259
00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:55,310
Hey.
260
00:11:56,270 --> 00:12:00,290
Boy, you weren't kidding
about her snoring.
261
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,270
- That shit is deafening.
- Hmm.
262
00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:03,720
And evocative.
263
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,840
I always picture a slaughterhouse
264
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:07,300
for wild animals.
265
00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:11,180
Well, I probably couldn't
have slept much, anyway.
266
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:13,310
Been a weird day.
267
00:12:13,470 --> 00:12:14,890
I can only imagine.
268
00:12:15,060 --> 00:12:18,540
Must be life-altering to see
your mom after 50 years.
269
00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:19,810
Is it life-altering?
270
00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:22,010
I mean, no, she's basically a stranger.
271
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:23,800
If she were to disappear tomorrow,
272
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,580
due to a disagreement with, say,
273
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:26,880
a powerful Armenian man,
274
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,300
who'd really care?
275
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:31,420
Jean would. That's who.
276
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,760
Look, this is a-a huge deal for her.
277
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:37,130
You know... The first time
278
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,890
I made her come so hard, she cried...
279
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:41,200
Whoa, the first time?
280
00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:44,090
That implies this was
a frequent occurrence.
281
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:47,000
Hey, when you got five
good friends like this,
282
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,220
you betcha.
283
00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:49,610
Okay.
284
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:52,580
Oh, lesbians are the goddamn best.
285
00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:53,910
Anyway, I'm sorry.
286
00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:55,370
You made her come so hard, she cried.
287
00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:56,600
Please continue.
288
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,500
Yeah, well,
and in that emotional space,
289
00:12:59,970 --> 00:13:02,090
she talked a lot about your mother...
290
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,310
how she'd never gotten
over being abandoned...
291
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:10,580
that she's always felt broken
and unlovable.
292
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:16,020
And then Norm and I just held her.
293
00:13:17,410 --> 00:13:18,910
Norm was there?
294
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:21,000
We sleep in the same room.
295
00:13:21,070 --> 00:13:23,920
Twin beds. He mostly reads.
296
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,640
Well, you're definitely the best thing
297
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,990
that's ever happened to my sister.
298
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:30,260
Seriously,
I have never seen her so happy.
299
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:34,000
You know, she told me
that when you're living a lie,
300
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,500
even the happy moments are sad,
301
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:41,480
because deep down,
you know it's bullshit.
302
00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:46,550
This is the hardest thing
I've ever had to say.
303
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:50,740
I'm going to Disney World.
304
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:57,040
It is not hyperbole to say
that that was my Vietnam.
305
00:13:57,390 --> 00:14:00,500
When I close my eyes,
I can still hear the screams.
306
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:03,630
- Of happy children?
- Yeah, you hear them, too?
307
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,410
I'm still glad you came.
308
00:14:05,450 --> 00:14:08,020
We got our first picture
together in 20 years.
309
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,200
Can't wait to go to Kinko's
and have somebody explain
310
00:14:10,230 --> 00:14:12,760
how to put it on Facebook
so Mom can see it.
311
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,850
Jean, that's kind of why
I wanted to walk with you.
312
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:19,270
Um, you know how Mom seems like
313
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:21,140
this sweet little old lady?
314
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:25,430
Well, in actuality, uh...
315
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:28,090
Mom was this
cutthroat Mafia foot soldier
316
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:30,520
who spent most of our lives
working in organized crime.
317
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,870
I don't understand.
318
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,530
Yeah, I should probably back up.
319
00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:37,510
Uh, at one point
in our nation's history,
320
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,260
Kansas City actually had
the most powerful Mafia.
321
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,750
Its geographical isolation
allowed it to consolidate power
322
00:14:43,790 --> 00:14:45,870
and to avoid the infighting
that characterized
323
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,510
the New York and Chicago underworld.
324
00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:48,880
You're pulling my leg. I'm supposed
325
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,090
to believe that our mother...
326
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:52,830
that sweet little old lady
in the Anne Murray shirt...
327
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:54,880
is some mobster who killed people?
328
00:14:54,950 --> 00:14:56,450
Well, she wasn't a button man, no.
329
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:59,130
Now, did she act as a honey pot
to lure unsuspecting me
330
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,130
into secluded locations
to be shot by her coworkers?
331
00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:04,660
- Almost definitely.
- I mean, you're serious?
332
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,000
Yeah, I'm serious.
333
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,740
We haven't seen her since we were kids.
334
00:15:07,770 --> 00:15:09,500
How would you know any of this?
335
00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:11,470
All right, Jean, I'm gonna
tell you something else.
336
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,580
And when I do,
I want you to keep in mind
337
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,280
that we weren't close
for a very long time,
338
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,930
and I'm a much better person now,
339
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,460
who just spent the last seven hours
340
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,400
waiting on very long lines with you
341
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,390
for fake experiences and $12 churros.
342
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:25,330
How do you know?
343
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:28,130
Jean, Mom came back into my
life when I was 18 years old.
344
00:15:28,170 --> 00:15:30,520
She offered to pay for my college,
345
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,370
if I kept it from you.
346
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:33,840
I thought you had
347
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:36,000
a Division-I broadcast scholarship.
348
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,950
Yeah, that's not a thing
that actually exists, Jean.
349
00:15:39,090 --> 00:15:42,360
So this whole time... you knew her?
350
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,730
You got to have a mother?
351
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:45,450
Well, now, Jean, I would not say that.
352
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,450
No, there's not
a maternal bone in her body.
353
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:49,230
Most of the time we met up
at underground casinos
354
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:50,470
and dog tracks.
355
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,640
Jean, I once saw her shoot a greyhound
356
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:54,140
as a lesson to the other greyhounds.
357
00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:55,500
Oh, Jean, are you crying?
358
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:58,190
You wouldn't by any chance just
be having an orgasm, would you?
359
00:15:58,230 --> 00:16:01,690
Jim, why didn't she want to know me?
360
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,270
Oh, you know, who can say?
361
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:06,230
You, you can say,
362
00:16:06,270 --> 00:16:07,680
because you know everything about her.
363
00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,470
You've known everything
about her all along.
364
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,050
This is not a door
you want to knock on.
365
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:12,770
Open the fucking door!
366
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:14,270
All right.
367
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:15,710
Mom doesn't respect you, okay?
368
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,840
When she looks at you,
she sees the daughter
369
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,490
of a man who drove a bread truck.
370
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:21,980
Look, I should have told you.
I was trying to protect you.
371
00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:24,200
I'm so sorry.
I mean, you're tough as nails.
372
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:25,810
You do not see the angles, Jean.
373
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:27,340
Mom would have played you
like a fiddle.
374
00:16:27,380 --> 00:16:29,130
She would have. In fact, she just did.
375
00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:31,070
You were always a terrible brother.
376
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:32,530
Always thought you were smarter.
377
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:34,560
Never even pretended to like Norm.
378
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,330
But I always tried to move past it
379
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,940
because you were the only family I had.
380
00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:39,610
But now I know I have no family.
381
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,650
I was raised in a nest of vipers.
382
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:42,840
Just... here.
383
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,600
You keep that as a memory
of the last time you saw me.
384
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,530
Thanks for saving me
the trip the Kinko's!
385
00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:51,380
Now, Jean, come on.
You don't mean that, Jean.
386
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:54,110
Jean, look, you can scan this
kind of thing on your phone.
387
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:57,020
There's literally no reason
to ever set foot in a Kinko's!
388
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,520
Jean?
389
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,250
Did you hear what I said about Kinko's?
390
00:17:16,990 --> 00:17:18,120
Oh, God damn.
391
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,500
You... you turned little Joaquin?
392
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:21,640
Kid's a player.
393
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,440
He chiseled me out of a percentage.
394
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,330
You look like you could use a drink.
395
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,490
- I told Jean.
- Oh, I know.
396
00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:32,950
She flamed me last night
on my fake Facebook page.
397
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:35,300
My fake friends were horrified.
398
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,550
Uh, you and me are done, okay?
399
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:38,930
I mean forever.
400
00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,620
So you would throw away
millions of dollars for Jean?
401
00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:44,490
- Yeah.
- Jean doesn't matter.
402
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,860
Nothing matters.
403
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,480
You always say that.
Can I tell you something?
404
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,110
It's real bullshit. You know why?
405
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,600
Everything matters.
406
00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:53,120
It matters that you left us
when we were kids.
407
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:56,690
It matters that Dad
was an alcoholic piece of shit.
408
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:59,400
And it matters that Jean tried
to protect me from him.
409
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,980
You just let all this stuff
live in your head, don't you?
410
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,410
No wonder you got the yips.
411
00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:04,980
Oh, not talking about that with you.
412
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,650
I mean, really. Jesus, there
are only nine possible counts.
413
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,520
You think you would have gotten
one of them by accident.
414
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,630
Okay.
415
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:14,480
You'll be a lot better when
this morality phase is over.
416
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,420
It's not a phase. I'm changing.
417
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,770
Oh, yeah? No, you're not.
418
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:18,930
- No, I am.
- No, you're not.
419
00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:20,100
- Yes, I am.
- Listen,
420
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,880
I know your dirty little secret, honey.
421
00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:23,020
Oh, what's that?
422
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,060
You like that I picked you,
423
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:28,250
'cause it meant that you
weren't ordinary like her.
424
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:30,810
We're special, you and I.
425
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:34,240
That's why all these idiots
will always be our pawns.
426
00:18:34,770 --> 00:18:38,560
Listen, I was put
on this earth to raise hell.
427
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:41,520
And that very same blood
is running through your veins.
428
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,700
So why don't you just stop
pretending to be nice?
429
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,930
Enjoy yourself.
430
00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:49,890
And for God sakes, honey,
stay out of the sun.
431
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,530
Your eyes look like two assholes
432
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:53,520
floating in tomato soup.
433
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:10,260
Hey, uh, I really need to talk to you.
434
00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:13,160
Oh, boy.
435
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,890
Caught the first flight down.
436
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,820
- Wow.
- Yeah.
437
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,830
I have one question.
438
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,350
Who told you to admit
the truth to Jean?
439
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,660
Nobody. I just did it.
440
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:38,740
Should I not have?
441
00:19:38,770 --> 00:19:40,680
I mean, I-I just couldn't
stand to see Lorraine
442
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,870
smiling right into her face
and laughing at her
443
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:45,070
behind her back...
I had to tell Jean, even...
444
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,960
Even if it meant losing her.
445
00:19:48,740 --> 00:19:50,300
Jim...
446
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,180
that's amazing.
447
00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:54,150
I had no idea you were doing this well.
448
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,570
Doing well?
449
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:57,320
I just lost the only
family I had left...
450
00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:59,850
I mean, apart from Clemenza.
451
00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:04,340
He's my 100-year-old pet tortoise.
452
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:08,050
You're just gonna keep on
getting weirder and weirder
453
00:20:08,090 --> 00:20:09,430
the older you get, huh?
454
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,650
It is looking that way, yeah.
455
00:20:12,690 --> 00:20:15,400
I mean, this is the first unselfish act
456
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,890
you've done since I've known you.
457
00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:20,270
Yeah, well, so far, becoming
a good person feels a whole lot
458
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:23,820
like I open wide and the entire
world shits in my mouth.
459
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:26,600
Yep, that's pretty much it.
460
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,410
This world does not reward kindness.
461
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:32,220
Then what is the point?
462
00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:35,020
Being a good person is the best way
463
00:20:35,060 --> 00:20:36,580
to attract other good people and,
464
00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,270
make sure they stick around.
465
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:42,000
If you keep going down this path,
466
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,130
your sister will come back...
467
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:46,650
just like I did.
468
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,230
Thank you, Charles.
469
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,850
And now that I know about your mom,
470
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,480
this whole "Godfather" obsession
471
00:20:58,510 --> 00:20:59,740
makes so much more sense.
472
00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:01,350
No, no, no. I just...
473
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,460
I love those movies 'cause
they're the two best ever made.
474
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,900
And your absent mother
who worked in organized crime
475
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:09,350
didn't have something to do with it?
476
00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:10,940
Comparing the KC Mob
477
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,290
to the Five Families of New York
478
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,180
just shows your ignorance,
Charles, you know what?
479
00:21:14,210 --> 00:21:15,820
I'm gonna put on part one right now.
480
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,470
I'm gonna talk over it the whole time.
481
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,950
You're gonna see how wrong you are.
482
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,800
Sure thing, Jim.
483
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,840
Sounds great.
33717
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.