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1
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:27,669
You'd better pray to the Lord
When you see those flying saucers
2
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:31,090
It may be the coming of the Judgment Day
3
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:42,518
Hey, Jerry, you might wanna check this
one out. Palomar just picked it up.
4
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:45,479
Looks like some type of UFO,
and it's heading this way.
5
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,981
How many times do I have to tell you?
6
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,484
UFOs don't exist
and we're never gonna see...
7
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:56,281
- Wow, its energy signature is massive.
- Holy Cheez-Its! What do we do?!
8
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,616
No one told us what to do!
9
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,410
I took this job because
you never have to do anything!
10
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:03,497
Jerry, stop it.
Let me calculate its impact point.
11
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:05,958
Looks like...
12
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,294
...Modesto, California.
13
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:12,714
Supernova, this is Red Dwarf.
We actually have one!
14
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,968
Code Nimoy! I repeat, Code Nimoy!
15
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:11,690
What are you guys doing here?
It's 5.00 in the morning.
16
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:13,942
Hurry, turn on the TV! Turn it on now!
17
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:17,571
...and some early morning fog,
giving way to sunny skies.
18
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,114
Seventy-five degrees.
19
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,367
A perfect day to stop by
the old folk art and craft show
20
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:27,456
down at the fairgrounds, or a
perfect day to marry Susan Murphy.
21
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,335
I love you, baby.
22
00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:32,836
I love you, too.
23
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,925
And good morning, Modesto!
24
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,594
Channel 172.
25
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,814
You look gorgeous, sweetheart.
26
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,733
Thanks, Mom.
27
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,243
My little girl!
28
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,786
Daddy!
29
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:09,539
Now, I want you to know that, even
though I'm about to give you away...
30
00:04:10,708 --> 00:04:13,627
...I will always be here
to take care of you.
31
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:17,673
Don't cry because then you'll make me
cry, and that's just gonna be a mess.
32
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,383
I can't help it!
33
00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:25,013
Hello, everyone! Attention, attention!
34
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,474
Wedding starts in 30 minutes!
35
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:30,269
- My beautiful daughter-in-law!
- Hi, Mama Dietl.
36
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:34,690
It's like a fairy tale. The Weatherman
and the Weatherman's Wife.
37
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:36,608
Romantic.
38
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:41,863
I know. Just think, this time tomorrow,
I'm gonna be in Paris!
39
00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:44,491
And someday, we won't
just be honeymooning there.
40
00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:47,786
Derek will become an anchor
or a foreign correspondent.
41
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:51,707
- And we'll travel all over the world.
- Honey, my fingers are crossed.
42
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,422
One thumb is shorter than the other.
Runs in the family.
43
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,048
Derek doesn't have that.
44
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,968
It skips a generation.
Your kids are gonna have it!
45
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,646
Wow, you look beautiful.
46
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:18,150
So do you. I mean, handsome.
47
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,611
I mean...
Sorry. I'm just a little frazzled.
48
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:23,989
I just spent way too much time
with our parents.
49
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:27,743
Don't worry, OK?
We'll be alone soon, just us.
50
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:31,413
Eating cheese and baguettes
by the Seine,
51
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,874
feeding each other chocolate crepes.
52
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:40,380
- Is something wrong?
- No, no! It's just that, well...
53
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,009
There's been a slight change of plans.
54
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,720
We're not going to Paris.
55
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:51,391
- What? Why not?
- Because we're going somewhere better.
56
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,352
- Better than Paris?
- Oh, yeah.
57
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,645
Where? Tahiti?!
58
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,148
Nope! Fresno!
59
00:05:58,232 --> 00:05:59,900
Fresno!
60
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:01,860
Fresno.
61
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,697
In what universe is Fresno
better than Paris, Derek?
62
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,867
In the "I've got an audition to become
63
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:12,245
Channel 23's new
evening anchor" universe.
64
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,166
Got the call from the general manager,
he wants me to come in immediately!
65
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:19,628
- Isn't that great?
- Derek!
66
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,880
That's...
67
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:25,217
...amazing! It's amazing.
68
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,594
Fresno's a top 50 market, isn't it?
69
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:29,971
It's 55th, but we're on our way, babe!
70
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,558
Now, look. About Paris...
71
00:06:34,268 --> 00:06:37,896
It's OK. It's fine!
As long as we're together,
72
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:41,691
Fresno is the most
romantic city in the whole world.
73
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:46,696
- I'm so proud of you.
- Of us! Not just of me.
74
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:51,326
I mean, of course, but we're a team now.
You're so proud of us.
75
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:55,288
Now, get out of here.
It's bad luck to see me in my dress.
76
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,833
Come on. You know
I don't believe in that stuff.
77
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:02,462
I'll be waiting for you at the altar...
the handsome news anchor in the tux.
78
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,798
Love you! There, I said it.
79
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,676
I love you, too.
80
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,502
Susan!
81
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,881
Where could she be?
82
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:49,176
Susan! Where are you?!
83
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,768
Susan! Where have you been?!
84
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,730
I think I just got hit by a meteorite.
85
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:06,568
Oh, Susan. Every bride feels
that way on her wedding day.
86
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:10,864
My goodness, look at you. You're filthy.
Thank God I have Wet Ones.
87
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:48,944
Wow.
88
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,363
You're glowing.
89
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,449
Thank you.
90
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:58,870
No. No, Susan, you're, like,
really glowing. You're green!
91
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,999
Oh, no!
92
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:05,293
Derek!
93
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,799
Oh, my gosh!
94
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,217
What's going on?!
95
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:15,220
- What's happening?!
- You're all shrinking!
96
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,472
Uh-uh! You're growing!
97
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,267
- Well, make it stop!
- Get me the government!
98
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:23,478
This is impossible!
99
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,983
No, this can't be happening.
100
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,570
Wait, wait. Everybody, it's OK!
101
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,738
Have some champagne
while we're figuring this out!
102
00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,324
Thumbs! Thumbs!
103
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,079
Derek! Help me!
104
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,584
Sweet Lord!
105
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:55,510
- Here comes the bride!
- Oh, Carl! It's her wedding day!
106
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,681
Derek? Derek?
107
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,309
Beam hurt Derek.
108
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,312
- Susan?
- Thank goodness you're OK!
109
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,897
What's happening to me?
110
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:12,068
Don't panic! Don't worry!
Whatever you do, don't drop...
111
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,572
- Derek!
- Sorry, sir.
112
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,283
Who are you people?
What are you doing?
113
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,703
Stop it! Be careful!
114
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,332
Get your hands off me!
Don't you know who I am?!
115
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,126
Please, just leave me alone!
116
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:40,138
Watch those cables!
She's coming down!
117
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:43,558
Watch out!
118
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,439
Move it, move it!
Let's go! Move it, move it!
119
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:51,483
Pull, pull!
120
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,070
Derek?
121
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,866
All right, let's get
this baby on the bus.
122
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,583
Honey, could you hit the snooze?
123
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:15,173
Baby, why did you set the alarm?
We're on our honeymoon.
124
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,181
Hello?
125
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,934
What's going on?
126
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,190
Hello?
127
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,252
Is it just legs?
Did they capture a giant pair of legs?
128
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,171
Silence, B.O.B.! She'll hear us!
129
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:40,008
- How? Legs don't have ears.
- Just shush!
130
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,137
Hello?
131
00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:48,141
Is there someone there?
132
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,226
Could you tell me where I am?
133
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,453
Hello? What was that?
134
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,004
Hello.
135
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,383
Will you stop...?! Careful!
136
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,303
Please, madam!
137
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,555
Stop! Doing! That!
138
00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:34,562
Whatever mad scientist made you,
139
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,232
he really went all out.
140
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:41,236
You can talk.
141
00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:50,245
Hi, there!
142
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,997
My back!
143
00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:55,542
Just kidding! I don't have a back!
144
00:13:56,377 --> 00:14:00,171
Forgive him, but as you can see,
he has no brain.
145
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,841
Turns out you don't need one.
Totally overrated!
146
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,009
As a matter of fact, I don't even...
147
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,265
I forgot how to breathe!
Don't know how to breathe!
148
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:12,767
Help me, Dr Cockroach! Help!
149
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,144
Suck in, B.O.B.
150
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,400
Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver.
151
00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:23,444
Wow, look at you.
I know what you're thinking.
152
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:27,156
First day in prison, you want to
take down the toughest guy in the yard.
153
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,075
Well, I'd like to see you try.
154
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:34,956
Ninja!
155
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:44,549
- Gosh. Look, she's speechless.
- She?
156
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:49,470
Yes, B.O.B.! We are in the presence
of the rare female monster.
157
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:53,141
No way! It's a boy. Look at his boobies.
158
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,059
We need to have a talk.
159
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:58,855
Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are not making
a very good first impression.
160
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,189
At least I'm talking.
161
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,484
First new monster in years, we
couldn't get a wolf man or a mummy?
162
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,070
Just, you know,
somebody to play cards with.
163
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,867
Might we ask your name, madam?
164
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,077
Susan.
165
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,496
No, no, no. We mean your monster name.
166
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,416
Like, what do people scream
when they see you coming?
167
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,336
You know, like,
"Look out! Here comes...!"
168
00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:23,796
Susan.
169
00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:25,715
Really?
170
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,550
Susan!
171
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,345
I just scared myself. That is scary.
172
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,221
Yes! Eat times.
173
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,355
That is repulsive!
174
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,316
An old slipper!
175
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:53,952
Oh, please, God,
tell me this isn't real.
176
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:57,121
Please tell me I had a nervous
breakdown at the wedding, and now I'm
177
00:15:57,206 --> 00:16:01,000
in a mental hospital on medication
that's giving me hallucinations.
178
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:12,553
Don't scare Insectosaurus!
179
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,348
He's gonna pee himself,
then we'll all be in trouble.
180
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:18,476
Every room has a door!
There's gotta be a door here!
181
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,813
It's OK, buddy. Don't worry about it.
182
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:25,942
Who's a handsome bug, huh?
You like it when I rub your tummy?
183
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:30,989
Please! Somebody!
I don't belong here!
184
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,992
- Let me out!
- Hey, that is not a good idea.
185
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,744
Let me out!
186
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:51,509
Monsters, get back in your cells.
187
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:16,826
Oh, thank goodness. A real person.
You are a real person, right?
188
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,662
Not one of those
half-person, half-machine,
189
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:22,206
you know, whatever
you call those things.
190
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,626
- A cyborg?
- Oh, no! You're a cyborg?!
191
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:30,423
Madam, I assure you, I am not a cyborg.
The name is General W.R. Monger.
192
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,593
I'm in charge of this facility.
Now, follow me.
193
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,012
It is time for your orientation.
194
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:50,318
In 1 950, it was decided that Jane and
Joe Public could not handle the truth
195
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:54,697
about monsters, and should focus on more
important things, like paying taxes.
196
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,325
So the government convinced the world
197
00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:01,496
monsters were stuff of myth and legend
and then locked them in this facility.
198
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:08,878
But I'm not a monster!
I'm just a regular person.
199
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:12,173
I'm not a danger to anyone or anything.
200
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:15,635
Don't let her get me!
201
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:17,178
Sorry.
202
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:27,438
- How long will I be here?
- Indefinitely.
203
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,315
- Can I contact my parents?
- No.
204
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,566
- Derek?
- Negative.
205
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:33,611
- Do they know where I am?
- No, and they never will!
206
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,863
This place is an X file,
207
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:39,408
wrapped in a cover-up
and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.
208
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,912
There will be zero contact
with the outside world.
209
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,691
...seven, eight...
210
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,194
...999...
211
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,363
...1 ,000.
212
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,490
I can't believe I did ten sets.
213
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,877
Susan!
214
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,629
You wouldn't happen to have
any uranium on you?
215
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,089
I just need a smidge.
216
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:38,384
Rescind Dr Cockroach's toy box
privileges immediately.
217
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:43,389
We had the prison psychologist
redecorate your cell.
218
00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:44,849
Try to keep you all calm-like.
219
00:19:46,226 --> 00:19:47,768
But I don't want a poster.
220
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,522
I want a real kitten hanging
from a real tree.
221
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,650
I want to go home.
222
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:58,404
Come on, little Debbie, please
don't cry. It makes my knees hurt.
223
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,114
Don't think of this as a prison.
224
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:05,119
Think of it as a hotel you never leave
because it's locked from the outside!
225
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,583
Oh, and one other thing.
226
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:13,502
The government has changed
your name to Ginormica.
227
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,306
Begin reanimation sequence.
228
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:16,148
Who dares to wake me?
229
00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:22,238
Quantonium has been located on a
distant planet in the Omega Quadrant.
230
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:25,783
The Omega Quadrant? Lame.
231
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:29,287
The trajectory of the
Quantonium meteor
232
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:33,541
has been traced to sector 72-4,
233
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:37,169
the planet locally known as Earth.
234
00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:40,673
What a miserable-looking mud ball.
235
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,217
Send a robot probe!
236
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:49,932
Extract the Quantonium
with extreme prejudice.
237
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,893
I want it all.
238
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,896
Every last drop!
239
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,232
Yes, Gallaxhar.
240
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:02,820
Nothing can stand in my way now.
241
00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:26,927
Don't rush me, Katie!
I'm just not ready.
242
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:30,806
Relax, Cuthbert.
It's just like dancing. I'll lead.
243
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:37,772
Katie, I have a gymnastics
meet tomorrow. So maybe...
244
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,565
Did you open the top?
245
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,194
Thank goodness. It's the police.
246
00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:46,947
- We weren't doing anything, officer!
- Yeah, nothing at all.
247
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:53,162
Jiminy!
248
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:57,958
Why did I even let you talk me into
this?! Maybe we should get out of here.
249
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:01,587
- Or, maybe, we should go check it out.
- Katie, are you nuts?!
250
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:04,423
Wait! Don't leave me alone!
251
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,471
No! My ankle!
252
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:12,056
I think it's broken!
253
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:14,141
Katie?
254
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,229
This is the worst date ever.
255
00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:29,782
Katie, I'm frightened.
256
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:43,462
It was first spotted at midnight last
night by a couple in romantic embrace.
257
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:46,924
No one knows what it is
or where it came from.
258
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,845
All branches of the military
were immediately mobilised.
259
00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:52,179
What is that, Henshaw?
260
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:53,889
OK.
261
00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:58,269
I have just received word that
the president of the United States
262
00:23:58,353 --> 00:24:02,314
has arrived and will
attempt to make first contact.
263
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,525
I must approach it alone.
264
00:24:04,651 --> 00:24:07,695
This is all about
peaceful communication.
265
00:24:08,697 --> 00:24:09,989
Yes, sir, Mr President.
266
00:24:43,064 --> 00:24:46,400
Perimeter stable. Got a bead
on Papa Bear. All clear.
267
00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:59,867
- Let's go!
- Get out of the way!
268
00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:01,660
Set her down now. Here we go!
269
00:27:13,548 --> 00:27:15,799
Commander, do something violent!
270
00:27:16,259 --> 00:27:18,218
You heard the president! Light 'em up!
271
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:30,814
We're getting pummelled here! Call in
air support! Call in air support!
272
00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,922
Call in... Call in a full retreat!
273
00:27:55,256 --> 00:27:57,716
Full retreat! Full retreat, all troops!
274
00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:01,595
- Wheels up. Papa Bear is on the move.
- Wait.
275
00:28:02,722 --> 00:28:06,433
So that's how you want to play it?
Eat lead, alien robot!
276
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,604
- Evidently, they eat lead.
- Get him on the chopper.
277
00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:13,941
I'm brave! I'm a brave president!
278
00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:18,070
Get out of the way!
279
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:37,965
- Sir! We need to declare a...
- We need to overthrow that robot
280
00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:41,677
- and install our own government!
- Let's sacrifice the elderly to it!
281
00:28:41,761 --> 00:28:44,805
- I say we invade it!
- The Earth only has two weeks left!
282
00:28:44,889 --> 00:28:48,851
If that thing walks into a populated
area there'll be a major catastrophe!
283
00:28:48,935 --> 00:28:51,812
We need our top scientific minds
on this. Get India on the phone!
284
00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,939
Can we transport the United States
to a safer planet?
285
00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:57,317
Give this alien a green card and
make him proud to be an American.
286
00:28:57,402 --> 00:29:02,322
It's at dire times like this when I stop
and ask myself, "What would Oprah do?"
287
00:29:02,407 --> 00:29:06,285
Hang it all! What's the point?
It's a disaster.
288
00:29:07,662 --> 00:29:09,371
- Stop! No!
- Don't do it!
289
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:12,040
That button launches
our nuclear missiles!
290
00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:14,001
Well, which button gets me a latte?
291
00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:16,962
That would be the other one, sir.
292
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,969
- What idiot designed this thing?
- You did, sir.
293
00:29:25,096 --> 00:29:28,307
- Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody!
- Yes, sir, Mr President.
294
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:31,769
Listen up. I'm not going
to go down in history
295
00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:33,729
as the president who was in office
296
00:29:33,813 --> 00:29:35,314
when the world came to an end,
297
00:29:35,398 --> 00:29:38,150
so somebody think of something,
and think of it fast!
298
00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:42,780
- That is a good cup ofjoe.
- Mr President?
299
00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:49,620
Not only do I have an idea,
but I have a plan!
300
00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:57,002
Now, conventional weapons
have no effect on this thing,
301
00:29:57,086 --> 00:30:01,131
- and we know nukes ain't an option.
- Sure they are. I just...
302
00:30:02,008 --> 00:30:03,759
- Don't do it! Stop!
- Wait!
303
00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:07,971
I'm not gonna kid you, Mr President.
These are dark times.
304
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:13,393
The odds are against us. We need a Hail
Mary pass. We need raw power! We need...
305
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:15,479
...monsters.
306
00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:21,401
Monsters! Of course! It's so simple!
307
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:24,905
I... I'm not following you.
308
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,451
Over the last 50 years, I have captured
monsters on the rampage,
309
00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:32,079
and locked them up
in a secret prison facility.
310
00:30:32,455 --> 00:30:37,709
So secret that the mere mention
of its name is a federal offence.
311
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,336
Is he referring to Area Fifty...
312
00:30:42,423 --> 00:30:46,218
Mr President,
say hello to Insectosaurus!
313
00:30:48,596 --> 00:30:50,055
Miss Ronson, please.
314
00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:54,017
Nuclear radiation turned him
from a small grub
315
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:58,105
into a 350-foot-tall
monster that attacked Tokyo.
316
00:30:59,607 --> 00:31:01,733
Here we have the Missing Link.
317
00:31:05,071 --> 00:31:09,700
A 20,000-year-old frozen fish man
who was thawed out by scientists.
318
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:14,746
He escaped and went on a rampage
in his old watering hole.
319
00:31:15,582 --> 00:31:18,292
This handsome fellow
is Dr Cockroach, PhD,
320
00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:20,502
the most brilliant man in the world.
321
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:24,798
He invented a scientific machine
322
00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:29,052
that would give humans
the cockroach's ability to survive.
323
00:31:29,804 --> 00:31:31,722
Unfortunately, there was a side effect.
324
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:37,811
Now, we call this thing B.O.B.
325
00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:40,564
Will someone get her out of here?!
326
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:43,984
Thank you.
327
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:48,405
A genetically altered tomato was
combined with a chemically altered
328
00:31:48,489 --> 00:31:51,825
ranch-flavoured dessert topping
at a snack food plant.
329
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,661
The resulting goop
gained consciousness,
330
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:58,248
and became an
indestructible gelatinous mass.
331
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:02,669
And, our latest addition, Ginormica.
332
00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:08,425
General, continue.
333
00:32:09,677 --> 00:32:12,721
Her entire body radiates
with pure energy,
334
00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:15,307
giving her enormous strength and size.
335
00:32:16,309 --> 00:32:20,771
Sir, these monsters are our best
and only chance to defeat that robot.
336
00:32:20,855 --> 00:32:23,440
Don't we already have
an alien problem, General?
337
00:32:23,524 --> 00:32:26,610
I don't think we need
a monster problem, too.
338
00:32:26,694 --> 00:32:28,862
You got a better idea, nerd?
339
00:32:32,867 --> 00:32:34,451
OK. Stay where you are.
340
00:32:35,703 --> 00:32:38,038
General, I propose we go forward
341
00:32:38,122 --> 00:32:41,458
with your monsters-versus-aliens
idea... thingy.
342
00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:43,293
Go fish.
343
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:53,220
Do you...
344
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:55,722
...have any...
345
00:32:57,183 --> 00:32:58,225
...threes?
346
00:32:58,559 --> 00:33:01,603
Yes. I do! How are you doing this?
347
00:33:01,688 --> 00:33:05,065
- You're the luckiest guy I know.
- Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it.
348
00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:08,360
What the...? Hey!
349
00:33:11,739 --> 00:33:16,576
They called me crazy,
but I'll show them. I'll show them all!
350
00:33:18,871 --> 00:33:22,749
Doctor, I'd prefer you didn't do
your mad scientist laugh
351
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,751
while I'm hooked up to this machine.
352
00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:28,714
You're right, Insecto.
353
00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:32,467
You've let that quack experiment
on you for over a month.
354
00:33:32,552 --> 00:33:36,722
I'm not a quack! I'm a mad scientist!
There is a difference.
355
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:41,935
Guys, what choice do I have? If he can
make me normal, or even six foot eight,
356
00:33:42,103 --> 00:33:45,355
I can get out of here, get back
to the life I'm supposed to have.
357
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,733
- I should be in...
- Let me guess, Fresno?
358
00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:51,528
Well, Fresno is just a stepping stone.
Next stop, Milwaukee.
359
00:33:51,946 --> 00:33:54,948
- Then New York, then hopefully...
- Yeah, we know. Paris.
360
00:33:55,950 --> 00:33:58,785
Throw the switch, Doctor,
but don't do the laugh.
361
00:33:59,078 --> 00:34:02,289
Now you're going to feel
a slight pinch in the brain.
362
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,207
Sorry.
363
00:34:15,303 --> 00:34:16,678
Susan!
364
00:34:18,222 --> 00:34:19,723
Am I small again?
365
00:34:20,641 --> 00:34:21,975
I'm afraid not, my dear.
366
00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:30,150
In fact, you may actually
have grown a couple of feet.
367
00:34:33,654 --> 00:34:36,656
That's OK, Doc.
We'll try again tomorrow.
368
00:34:36,991 --> 00:34:41,912
You really don't get it, do you?
No monster has ever gotten out of here!
369
00:34:41,996 --> 00:34:44,498
That's not true! The Invisible Man did.
370
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:48,460
No, he didn't. We just told you that
so you wouldn't get upset.
371
00:34:48,544 --> 00:34:51,546
He died of a heart attack 25 years ago.
372
00:34:51,631 --> 00:34:52,672
No!
373
00:34:53,174 --> 00:34:55,509
Yeah... in that very chair.
374
00:34:57,095 --> 00:34:58,136
He's still there.
375
00:35:01,015 --> 00:35:04,851
You see what I'm saying? Nobody's
leaving. Nobody's ever getting out.
376
00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:08,146
Good news, monsters! You're getting out!
377
00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:09,815
Until today.
378
00:35:14,904 --> 00:35:17,114
So let me get this straight, Monger.
379
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:19,825
You want us to fight an alien robot.
380
00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:23,161
And, in exchange,
the president of these United States
381
00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:25,831
authorised me to grant you
your freedom.
382
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:30,127
I can't believe it!
Soon, I'll be back in Derek's arms...
383
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:32,045
...or he'll be in mine.
384
00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:35,132
I can't wait for spring break
back at Cocoa Beach, just
385
00:35:35,716 --> 00:35:37,467
freaking everybody out.
386
00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:41,429
And I'll go back to my lab
and finally finish my experiments.
387
00:35:41,514 --> 00:35:43,056
No! That's me, B.O.B.
388
00:35:43,599 --> 00:35:47,894
- Then I'll be a really giant lady.
- That's Susan, B.O.B.
389
00:35:47,979 --> 00:35:52,149
Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto
and be with Derek.
390
00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:53,817
That's still Susan, B.O.B.
391
00:35:53,901 --> 00:35:56,945
I think I, at least,
deserve a chance to be with Derek!
392
00:35:57,029 --> 00:35:58,196
All right, let's go!
393
00:36:21,262 --> 00:36:24,973
Everybody move in an orderly fashion!
This is an emergency!
394
00:36:25,099 --> 00:36:27,017
We are evacuating the city!
395
00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:30,103
Exact change is appreciated,
but not necessary!
396
00:36:59,383 --> 00:37:01,593
Let's move out!
397
00:37:07,975 --> 00:37:10,810
This is San Francisco!
This isn't far from my home!
398
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:14,940
Feel the wind on your antennae.
Isn't this wonderful?
399
00:37:15,024 --> 00:37:18,860
I haven't been outside in 50 years.
It's amazing out here!
400
00:37:18,986 --> 00:37:21,988
It's hotter than I remember.
Has the Earth gotten warmer?
401
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:25,158
That'd be great to know.
That would be a very convenient truth.
402
00:37:31,415 --> 00:37:34,000
- Now that's a robot!
- It's huge.
403
00:37:34,377 --> 00:37:36,419
Try not to damage it too much.
404
00:37:36,504 --> 00:37:38,672
I might want to bring it
back to the farm!
405
00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:41,925
No, no, no, wait! You didn't say
anything about it being huge!
406
00:37:42,009 --> 00:37:44,094
Wait! No! Don't leave!
407
00:37:48,182 --> 00:37:49,724
I think he sees us.
408
00:37:50,059 --> 00:37:53,353
Hello! Hi! How you doing?
409
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:56,856
Welcome! We are here to destroy you!
410
00:37:56,941 --> 00:38:00,360
I can't fight that thing.
I can't even... I've never...
411
00:38:00,861 --> 00:38:04,531
I'm hyperventilating.
Does anybody have a giant paper bag?
412
00:38:04,615 --> 00:38:06,616
Relax.
413
00:38:06,701 --> 00:38:08,785
Old Link's got this under control.
414
00:38:08,869 --> 00:38:11,371
Hide in the city, Susan.
You'll be safe there.
415
00:38:11,455 --> 00:38:14,541
But stay away from the Tenderloin!
It's a little dicey!
416
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:17,961
Finally, some action.
I'm gonna turn that oversized tin can
417
00:38:18,045 --> 00:38:22,048
into a really dented oversized tin can.
418
00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:30,307
OK! Does anybody have
a 20 on Insectosaurus?
419
00:38:30,766 --> 00:38:33,810
Wow!
Would you look at the size of that...
420
00:38:33,894 --> 00:38:34,936
Foot!
421
00:38:37,231 --> 00:38:38,815
I got him, you guys! I got...
422
00:38:40,234 --> 00:38:42,986
Don't worry, I won't let go!
I'm wearing him down!
423
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:45,739
Please tell me he's slowing down!
424
00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:48,867
Get to the city, Link.
I'll catch up with you as soon as I can.
425
00:38:52,038 --> 00:38:55,415
Or maybe you'll have to
catch up with me.
426
00:40:21,293 --> 00:40:23,920
Oh, no! No, no, no!
427
00:40:51,198 --> 00:40:53,867
OK, OK. I got this.
428
00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,048
Yep, that hurt.
429
00:41:12,094 --> 00:41:14,053
Get in! I have a plan!
430
00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:27,525
Hot dogs!
431
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:39,579
All right, Link, I'm going to pull up
alongside it! You get up in there,
432
00:41:39,663 --> 00:41:42,165
get to its
central processing unit, and...
433
00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:44,209
- Hey, guys, catch me!
- No!
434
00:41:51,383 --> 00:41:54,135
Let's go, let's go! Keep it moving!
435
00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:55,762
Hey! No honking!
436
00:42:01,769 --> 00:42:04,562
Excuse me! Coming through!
On your right! No control!
437
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:24,958
Oh, no.
438
00:42:36,136 --> 00:42:39,347
OK! It's going to be OK!
Look, I'm gonna get you out of there!
439
00:42:39,598 --> 00:42:42,809
Hold on a second!
We have to get off the bridge before...
440
00:43:09,044 --> 00:43:12,338
No, no, no! Get away from me!
441
00:43:29,898 --> 00:43:31,274
Coming through! Watch it!
442
00:43:37,323 --> 00:43:39,824
Hey, furball, where you been?
%YQH0mr:!Q S ϸZ"T/ 34500
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