All language subtitles for v.2020.1080p.bluray.x264-gazer

Hey, stranger.

How's it feel to be back?

- Where's your boy?
- He's inside.

Hi.

Hi.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

You sure?

Yeah.

Are you almost done?

I need to rinse my hair
in a sec.

- Why are you being so quiet?
- I'm just thinking.

About what?

We'll talk about it
when we get back.

It was.

And she was like,
"girls, it's dessert."

She was getting wasted
on her own.

And was, like,
laughing hysterically

until it whipped off her pants.

Oh, my god! The living room,
and we were playing a game.

It was so weird
when we he put it back.

Yeah.

She was just wearing this,
like, onesie,

shirt-dress onesie.

And then she was, like,
laughing hysterically, remember?

- She was, like, laughing.
- I hated her laughing.

And then, she would, like, laugh
and make herself fart.

Oh, my god!

She'd be like...
Be like, "what?"

I haven't...
I haven't inherited that.

That's really scary.

I have been touching
them all summer.

Well, you'd know if you touched
to one of those, trust me.

Yeah, Dylan got
one the other day.

What, do they
just latch into your skin?

Mm-hmm. Remember that holiday
in the south of France,

the one where it rained
all the time?

Yeah. And I had to save you
from those bmxes in the park.

That's when dad started calling
you my white knight.

Was it?

He sounds like
a white supremacist.

I know.

No, that was when
I used to pretend

to take you to those
swimming lessons that you hated.

No, no, it was before that,
I'm sure.

Yeah, no, we used to play
knock out ginger.

Remember that I wet your
hair with those outside

so mum and dad would think...

No, no, no. No, it was when...

It was when mom grabbed my arm,
remember?

She chased me down the hall,
and then you just

jumped out of nowhere and were
like, "I'll fucking kill you.

I'll rip off your head
and shit down your neck!"

Jesus. How old were you?
She was 10.

10 years old
and already busting balls.

Together:
J when the boat comes in j

this game
is fucking pretentious.

It's the oldest game
in the world.

Aah!

Oh, fuck you!

Hey!

Don't rage-quit
just 'cause I'm winning.

Oh, like that time that you
first dropped on orhans?

'Cause I invaded
enclave of the bear.

We had an alliance, actually.

Orhans still asks about you
all the time.

- Oh, does he?
- Oh, yes, he does.

"Sexy Greta. Very fine.
Sexy kebab woman, very cute."

Dylan: Whoa, who the fuck...

Oh, no.

Who the fuck is...

- Who the fuck is orhans?
- No one!

Just an old mate
from uni. It's not...

Oh. Oh, just an old mate
from uni, is he?

Hittin' on me wife?

What the fuck kind of name
is orhans?

Greta: No one, bubba.

I ain't bubba.

- Hey.
- Want to play?

Yeah. Yeah?

- All right.
- All right. Ready?

One, two, three.

You're gonna drop me.

No, kill it. =-no.

It's only going
to bite you later on. Just...

- Just leave it.
- Too many legs.

Dylan: Want to get down?

- Should we play one?
- Yeah, let's play one.

Boom!

Down, down.

Down?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Oh, my god, you fuck!

Seriously,
who the fuck is orhan?

Oh, my god. You're so jealous.

Yeah, no. I'm not...
I'm not... I don't get jealous.

- Yeah, right, right.
- I don't get jealous.

I've never gotten jealous.
Sarah ashdown?

Sarah ashdown is not a name
that I even recall.

You would, like, follow her.

- You stalked her.
- I didn't stalk her.

- You totally stalked...
- I followed her.

You used to make me
stalk her with you.

Yeah. That's... that...
That's not...

It's not stalking
if there's two of you.

Your freckles have really
gotten intense this year.

- Have they?
- Yeah.

They get more intense
every year. It's...

Freckles, it's like, you know,
it's like a fine wine thing.

They really... they...

Each year, they age,
they enrich.

You really bulked out.

Not a little twinkie anymore.

- I bulked out?
- Yeah.

It took a while.

You guys should stay
the whole week.

I feel like we might
have to go back early.

Does he just really
not like it here or...

No.

I can tell you're lying
because your eyes do this thing.

No, they don't. What thing?

They do this thing when
they go up to the corner.

That just means I'm thinking.

Yeah, thinking about the next
lie you're going to tell.

Okay.

You should just talk
to her about it.

Might make you feel better.

Mm. That's not a good idea.

No? Why not?

Because she's just
going to try and give me advice,

and then she'll get all
annoyed if I don't take it.

She might do that,
but she might not do that also.

You can't even keep straight
a straight face and say that.

I think she... I don't think...
She's not worse at that.

Right.

You can come back more often.

That's not fair.
You know how busy I am.

I've offered to pay for her
ticket, like, a million times.

I think she sometimes feels
like you're trying to,

like, prove
how much better your life is.

If she had visited
you more often,

I'm sure you would
have found her

a much more appropriate husband.

Yeah, she really did scrape
the barrel.

She was. And there I was.

Just you at the bottom.

Just waiting. "I'm here!”

"H-hi!"

You know that feeling
when you scratch your armpit

and then you're like...

And you sniff it and then you
take a little sneaky look?

I was with you right up
until the end.

I don't get hunting. “Why?

What do you get out of all
of this, of hurting animals?

Joy, deep pleasure.

Oh, you're not going to let it
go if you catch it, are you?

You're going to kill it.

Yeah, only because
this area is overpopulated.

I'm keeping a balance.

Okay.

I'm single-handedly saving...

I can see all of these rabbits,
these rabid rabbits...

They're coming after you.
Those rabid rabbits

are gonna get you.
Running around the forest.

Create an ecological balance.

Besides you eat meat.

- I eat fish.
- That's... that's meat.

No, fish don't feel pain
in the same way.

Lobsters feel tons of pain.

I don't know that you know that.

I do know that.

Those all dry.

Yeah.

I can't believe you convinced
her to start eating meat.

You've brainwashed her.

She just doesn't do
everything you say anymore.

What are you going to
do when your contract ends?

I'm thinking of getting
a place near you guys.

- Just you?
- I meant "we."

Not going to go back to London?

- I miss you.
- Do you?

Yeah, I miss what
we used to be like.

You guys probably
wouldn't fit in here.

I mean, who knows?
Maybe it will just be me.

What's going on
with you two anyway?

Oh, I don't know.

You seem really distant
from each other.

Yeah, the move's
been really stressful.

How often do you guys fuck?

What? Fucking keeps you
close to the person

so you're not just buddies
who live together.

That's a problem!

If you're not having sex,

you start to look
at other people,

and then you start to think,
maybe with that person

the sexual attraction
will last forever.

Sometimes you need
to force yourself

to fuck the person you're with.
Then sex just becomes a way

to avoid dealing with
all your other problems.

Otherwise things will fizzle out

because you think you've lost
your attraction to them,

and your relationship becomes retarded.
Don't use that word.

Retarded, held back, restricted.

So you force yourself
to have sex with Dylan,

even though you don't want to?

I'm just saying you don't
exactly try that hard.

You're a fucking exhibitionist.

Sex is good for you.

You need
to show Caleb you love him.

Maybe he's getting out now
before you can really hurt him.

Relationships take work.

It's not that they're shit

all the time and you're
compromising yourself,

but you should try hard.

You know,
if you really love the person,

you want to do the work 'cause
it doesn't feel like work.

Not everyone has what you
and Dylan have.

Yeah, that looks like plenty.

You know how fast it burns?

I do. 'Cause I'm a woodsman.

There we go, baby!

You know, when you chop wood,
you look just like dad.

That's not an insult.
You have his exact stance.

I know. It's like he did it
in such a...

Such a dainty way.

He could do it really well.

But it was just, like,
so, like, fluid, you know?

It's like...
It was like following the ax.

Yeah. It was. Follow the ax.

We can make
an extension of his limbs.

It was just, like,
all his movements were so...

Like flopsy, mopsy.

He was really flopsy,
like, so...

Like whoa, whoa.

I think I'm gonna go to bed.

- Night, night.
- Good night.

What?

You look like shit.

About this awful dream
that I had.

You were in
the next room from me,

and I could hear you coughing
and breathing all weird,

I thought maybe you just had...

I don't know...
The flu or something.

And, finally, I knew
that something was wrong.

So I went into the next room.

And you were hanging
from a belt by your neck.

And I felt this
horrible sense of dread,

like this whole time I just been
sitting in the next room

while you were hanging yourself.

What is wrong with you? 1...

You're so fucked up and twisted.

I don't give a fuck
about your dream.

I asked him to fucking do this.

I mean...

I mean, what the fuck is
he playing at?

It's his family.

Watch, he's going to turn up now
and act like nothing's happened.

And then I'm going to look like
a bitch for being in a bad mood.

Gonna fucking kill him.

You don't have to worry.

There's like 50 fucking people
coming to this thing,

and I still haven't made
the fucking ice cream.

- Oh, I can do that.
- Yeah.

What? I can.

Fuck!

Listen, I don't want
to do this right now.

If you can't help me
without starting a fight,

then just go inside.

I'm not starting a fight. Greta.

He insisted on hosting
this year... motherfucker!

He's taking advantage of you.
Don't.

- They're not even your family.
- I know what you're doing.

Why are you trying
to protect him?

- Stop.
- He's not good for you.

Oh, 'cause you know what is.

You know, I didn't even want
you guys coming here this year.

It was Dylan's idea.
He thought I should give you

a second chance.

Look.
I don't know what he told you.

You can't stand me
being happy, can you?

I just want you to see him
for who he really is.

You are so full of shit.

It blows my fucking mind.

Can we just be honest
for one second?

Honest?

You know when Sheldon val
called me a slut?

You went to his house,
and you poured bleach

oh his mum's flower beds.

I begged you not to, and you...
You did it anyway.

And his family hated me
then for years.

And you went
around feeling so good.

You landed this left
hook on my behalf.

Everyone called you
my white knight, but you're not.

It was more important for you
to be my crusader

than to actually give a fuck
about my feelings.

Look, Greta, I understand
how hard this must be for you.

Let's just pretend none
of this ever happened.

Let's just reset.

You've created a reality

that is completely different
from everyone else's,

where you're this Saint who gets
tricked into doing bad things.

The truth is
you never once thought of me.

I always thought of you.

Maybe when we were kids,

you'd tell yourself
you were protecting me.

But you can't now, can you?

So you want to believe
your version of things, Miriam?

Go ahead, believe in them.

I bet it makes you feel
fucking righteous,

but don't for a minute

pretend you're doing
any of this shit for me.

Are we done?

Thought maybe you
weren't coming.

Told her I was heading
to the farm a day early

to help my parents.

What if she calls the house?

She won't. And if she does?

She leaves a message.

I was cleaning the barbecue,
didn't hear the phone ring.

What if she calls your mobile?

I'll fake that I'm there.

You fake that you're there?

Yeah.
What are you doing right now?

I don't know.

I need a drink.

Hold on.

Ugh.

I've thought about this
all fuckin' day.

The shower, at work,

oh the drive over.

Even fucking jerked off to you.

Thanks for making me feel
so special.

You know what I was thinking
about all day?

What?

I was thinking
about that night by the fire.

I thought we were past that.

I never heard how you felt,

um, what it meant to you.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

It meant a lot. I have a...

Vivid memory of it.

Vivid?
Think about it all the time.

So do I.

You go.

Tell me what you're thinking
about when you jerked off.

You know what I
was thinking about.

Tell me.

Yeah?

We were by the fire.

You were telling me
how mean I was.

Don't go so far back.

Ran my hand along
your thighs and...

Along your back.

You still had your swimsuit
on, which was sexy as fuck.

It was dark outside.

Don't move.

What are you doing?

And?

Pulled down your pants and ran
my hand along your ass.

I found my way
into your swimsuit.

How did I feel?

Soft.

And then what?

My dick started to get hard.

What was I doing?

You were lying there
with your back to me.

You pushed up against me.

I start kissing your neck,
and you get out this...

Moan, this soft, real sexy moan.

Then what?

Pulled off your swimsuit
and took out my hard cock

and and slowly slid it
into your wet pussy.

Was I wet? You were so wet.

You wanted it so fuckin' bad.

Did I like it?

You pressed your tight little
ass right into me.

Did I say anything to you?

You said, "don't stop."

Did you?

No.

Tell me what
you want me to do to you.

I want you to grab
my hard cock and...

Rub it all over your wet lips.

And then what?

I want to tease me
with the tip of your tongue...

Playing with
the edge of my cock.

Then I want you to taste me.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Miriam: I have this dream,
this recurring dream

where I go into this tree

and there's a... there's a door
in the tree,

and I go down this
really long staircase,

and at the bottom, there's this
old couple that lives there,

and it's a house
inside the tree.

In the kitchen, they have all of
these boxes on the windowsill.

And in each one of the boxes
is one of my cats

that's passed away,
but they're, like, alive.

They're not d... they're not like
skeletons of cats.

They're alive.
So they open the box

and the cat's there
and it comes out,

and I can play
with all of my dead cats.

And I just go into this tree

and hang out
with this old couple and...

All of my cats. Aw.

What happened to
that chemistry teacher

that always used
to say "top banana"?

Yeah, remember Mr. pink?

- Who's Mr. pink?
- Chemistry.

- Mr. bevin?
- Yes.

Oh, my god. He was so hot.

No. You're the only one
who thought that.

You could always
his nipples through his shirt.

Ew! Ew!

His round little nips.

He got fired. “Why?

He went on this big bender

and, like, fucked a bunch
of prostitutes in his office.

How do you know
all these juicies?

You're out of the loop.
This is common knowledge.

What about that anorexic
biology teacher?

- Miss Phelps?
- Yeah. Fucking bitch.

Yeah, heart attack
or stroke or something.

- Shit.
- Remember Mr. bergman?

Oh, my god. Yes, I loved him.

They found a bunch of Nazi
paraphernalia in his basement.

What?

Yeah, like medals and flags
and this giant,

like, swastika dildo.

You shithead!

Did miss Phelps actually die?

- Uh, no.
- You fucker!

She's still there.

I fully believed you.

You total fucker.

How fuckin' drunk are you?

- You are so mean!
- You just bought it.

You bought it.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

- Whoa, whoa.
- I'm... I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

My god, I'm so shitty.

- It meant nothing.
- It's okay. I know, I know.

Everybody's shitty.

Everybody's at least
medium shitty.

It's okay.

I do really selfish things.
What... what... why?

Why why do you think that?

I kissed my sister's husband.

Okay, okay. Okay.

Sometimes I pretend
to be really sick

I pretend I only have
ohe week of vacation

so I have to see my mom as much.

I love your mum.

Yeah, I know...

That you do.

Why would you do that?

I don't know. I want to do it.

I guess we're just both
awful fucking people.

Caleb's always trying so hard,

and I'm always
in this horrid position

of having to reject him.

You're too hard on yourself.

We haven't had sex
in almost a year.

Why?

I don't know.

Does he have an anteater penis?

What?

Like a... like a... along...

Like a foreskin...

- What is that?
- Shaggy...

Tell me.

I only want to fuck him
when I'm drunk.

- I know that sounds weird.
- I get it.

I want to be attracted
to him again.

I just... don't know how.

Can't force yourself
to be attracted to someone.

Maybe I'm just not
trying hard enough.

Or maybe he's not right for you.

I want him to be right for me.

It's not like you have
a choice in it.

Free will is an illusion.

You sound like Sam Harris.

What's wrong with Sammy?

Sammy? It's not Sammy Davis Jr.

What's wrong with...

I don't think Sammy
is the name he has.

What's wrong with...
With old Sammy Harris?

But think about it.

Like, do you...
Do you choose your feelings?

That's different.

Okay, what about
your thoughts right now?

Are you in... in control
of what thoughts appear?

Yeah, actually.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Like, right now

I'm choosing to think that
you're being a cunt.

Cockface.

Is that your cockface?

It's like Sean Connery.

Why does your cock look like
Sean Connery?

I think that... that question
answers itself.

Why does my cock look like Sean Connery?
It's like...

What cock doesn't look
like Sean Connery?

- It's like a split between...
- That's a compliment.

Mine looks like de niro.

Your cock looks like de niro?

Right there.

That's the face of a cock

why is one eye all swollen?

Stop it.

It's the one eye more closed
than the other.

Do you think I'm a good person?

No.

Seriously though.

I think it's like
what Lennon said.

"We're all Hitler,
we're all Christ,

and we just have to work
on the good parts of us."

And then, he beat his wife.

Doesn't make it not true.

That was the Hitler part.

That was... that...
That was the Hitler part.

The Christ part was
singing "imagine."

You know,
we're complicated people.

Nobody's simple.

But how much of me is Hitler?

I don't know.

Probably... probably
more than most people.

Definitely the moustache.

- For you?
- Yeah.

I think it's more
the hating the Jews.

Than the moustache,
but the moustache also...

The moustache and the Jew hate.

You know.

I think you're a good person.

I like that you think that.
It's nice.

If it helps, I'm sure
Greta doesn't think I'm good.

She does.

I like talking to you.

I like talking to you, weirdo.

Dylan: I've wanted
to do it for years.

You feel so good.

Oh, I'm so fuckin' hard for you.

Miriam: Dylan...

Stop.

Come here!

Aah!

Aah!

Urgh!

Gah! Gah!

Oh...

Your heart's racing.

You're so warm.

You're freezing.

Are you still drunk?

Do I smell?

I don't mind.

Liar.

I don't understand why you have
to get so shit-faced.

What time is it?

I don't know. It's early.

Try to get some sleep.

I want to fuck.

No, no, that's not a good idea.

Why?

Not like this.

But you're hard.

Whoa.

Whoa. Come on.
What are you doing?

Come on.

What is this?

Why do I have to be
such a girl about it?

Why can't you just fuck?

I'm not gonna fuck
if you insult me.

Okay, I'm sorry.

- Hey.
- I'm sorry. Kiss me.

Don't.

- Miriam, you're drunk.
- I want to be close to to you.

What, do I repulse you sober?

No, I want
to make you feel good.

It's okay, it's okay.

Ow! Fuck.

Ow...

Hey. Oi.

You all right?

Don't touch me.

Come on.

Dylan: Look, I'm feeling
fucking guilty.

- You're feeling guilty.
- Why would I be feeling...

Things escalated really quickly.
It never should have happened.

No, it shouldn't.
I didn't want it to...

- We fucked up.
- You fucked up.

Don't do that.

I was asleep, and you fucked me.

You think that I...

Really?

Come on.

- Look...
- Say it.

I'm not...

I'm not going to talk to Greta.

I just want to sort
this out between us.

Whoa, wait, wait. Wait, wait.
Te-tell her... tell her what?

That you...
That you... kissed me.

That's not fair. That you
made a choice to kiss me?

No, I told you that
that didn't mean anything.

Yeah, yeah. You were
pressing up against me.

No, I wasn't. I didn't.

Look, we... we got carried away.

- We had a lot to drink.
- No, no, no.

I didn't want it
to lead where...

Don't rewrite what happened.

I'm not rewriting.
I know exactly what happened.

You did... you did things.

- I told you that was a mistake.
- You said things.

What things? We both said it was
a mistake and we both stayed.

Why did you tell me
about your fuckin"...

Your sex life with Caleb?

I was just trying...
=all those details.

You said you thought
we'd always end up together.

You said that. There was no
fucking fight over who said what.

None of it fucking matters.
I didn't want it.

That... that... that is
a fuckin' lie, and you know it.

I thought you were
better than that.

I'm sorry.

We're gonna work this out.

It's going to be okay.

No, it's not.

I didn't mean to blame you.
I know that I'm half to blame.

I don't know you. You know me.

Don't say that.

I know we fucked up, okay?

You're right.

But the truth is...

I'm glad we got it
out of our system.

I know, I know that's
a fucked up thing to say,

but look at me and say you
haven't thought about it before,

'cause I know you have,
or you wouldn't have kissed me.

What is it that
you're doing right now?

You told me last night
that you do selfish things.

And I-l should have realized
that when you kissed me.

I-1 should have stopped things.

You did stop things.

You were emotionally vulnerable.

- I told you that in confidence.
- Touching...

In confidence.

I opened up to you about things
I was really ashamed of

'cause I wanted your help.

I don't mean
you're a bad person.

I'm not going to
tell her anything.

You guys have always had
this fucked-up sister thing.

You're resentful.

All I'm saying is, you and me,

we're in this together,
and we've hurt each other,

but we care about each other.

Get off.

Okay.

Greta and Dylan: [J call us
back, doo doo doo doo j

Dylan: J call us back j

Greta: Hey, it's me.

Um...
You're not picking up, so...

Look, I don't want
to fight, okay?

I don't want to get your
parents in

without sorting things out.

I'm ready to talk when you are,
so just call me back.

Oi! Hey!

Hey! Give those back to her!

Give those back to her.

- Who the fuck are you?
- Give them back right now.

- Huh?
- I fucking saw you, okay.

I have it on my phone.
I fucking saw you.

- You saw me? Really?
- Yeah, I saw you push her.

Are you okay? It's... it's okay.
Don't worry. I'm fine.

- Go back in your car. Go.
- Go back in my car? Or what?

- Or fucking what, mate?
- Hey, come on.

- Did he hurt you?
- You stop!

No! Go back in your car!
Do you understand?

I'm just gonna get up
in your face!

Do you think you scare me?
You think you fucking scare me?

It's not your problem.
It's not your problem.

Or what? Or fucking what, mate?
You think you scare me?

- Go back in your car.
- You fucking don't.

Yeah, I know men like you.
Don't fucking touch me, mate.

Don't fucking touch me.

Go back in your car.
Do you understand?

Or what? Or fucking what, mate?!

Or fucking what?!

Wait! Don't speak
to him like that.

Please, stop! Stop, stop.

It's okay. It's nothing.

Okay?

I'm sorry. Come on.

Greta: Oh, I can't believe you
convinced me to do this.

I promise you, it's gonna be...
It's good for you.

Are we are going
all the way around?

Just to the island and back.

At least I'm starting
to feel warm.

Me, too.

Have you ever thought about
what it would have been like

if you stayed in London?

Yeah, all the time.

Why don't you come back with me?

My life's here.

What if I moved here
and we got a place together?

- What, you and me.
- Yeah, like an investment.

We are we gonna
get all this money?

I'm talking
about us starting over.

I don't need to start over
why are you being weird?

I have to tell you something,

and I don't want you
to freak out.

- Why would I freak out?
- It's about Dylan.

- Okay.
- Don't get angry.

I'm not angry.

It's going to make you
really upset.

I know how much you love him

and how much he means to you.

I admire how loyal
you are to him.

He seems like he's really
sweet and compassionate,

like he's got
all of these emotions

that he just can't control.

What are you doing right now?

Did you know that,
when we were kids,

he used to pull
the wings of flies?

That's a stupid thing to say.

- It's the truth.
- What's your point?

I'm trying
to tell you something.

Tell me what?

Last night, by the fire,

at some point, I fell asleep.

And when I woke up...

I didn't
know what was happening.

What did you do?

I didn't do anything.

Don't do this.

I was unconscious.
He was on top of me.

Don't.

I didn't realize what was happening.
Stop.

He wouldn't listen to me, Greta.
Don't.

- He wouldn't listen.
- Miriam, stop.

I knew I couldn't trust you.

Please, listen to me.

Dylan actually cares about you.

He's been nothing
but kind to you.

And whatever happened,
it wasn't this.

You fucked up, and you
can't even own up to it.

It's pathetic
and fucking disgusting.

Miriam! Miriam!

Miriam!

Miriam!

Dylan: I I know we've come
along way j

Greta: It's annoying.

Caleb: And it doesn't put you
guys off your appetite?

No, I think it's good to know
the whole process,

otherwise, you take
this stuff for granted.

There was this point
where I thought, if I eat meat,

then I should be able to do
the whole thing, you know?

I don't think
I could stomach it.

Oh, there you are.

I didn't know your sister was
such a badass with a knife.

Oh, she's just trying
to impress you.

I think it's cool.

What chick knows
how to skin a rabbit?

Greta: I actually find it
incredibly rewarding.

It's helped me develop as
a person actually has, actually.

Has it, actually?

- Yeah.
- Keep the little shoes.

Mm.

Your breath smells like
a raccoon shat in your mouth.

That is so cold.

Haven't showered yet.

Did you sleep by the fire?

No, crashed on the couch.

Next time, wake me.

So, what have you learned?

Greta: What?

You said that it's helped you
develop as a person.

Yeah, I think
it builds character.

What have you learned
about your character

- that I'm capable.
- Of cruelty?

Hey, easy.

First time I did this,
I was only halfway through,

and I thought I was
going to throw up.

But I forced myself
to keep going.

'Cause I've always relied
on other people

for this kind of thing,
you know,

the stuff I didn't want to do.

And then, something
happened midway through

and I had to face myself.

Then you realized how much of
a fucking coward you were?

Hey! What?

It's empowering knowing
you don't need anyone

to look after you.

- Proud of you.
- Thanks, binkie.

Have you guys read that book,
"my side of the mountain"?

Why are you being
such a fake fuck right now?

I think you should slow down.

You're acting like
your best friend.

We're just trying
to have a good time, Miriam.

- You even like them.
- Don't be a dick, okay?

I know you're in
a mood right now, but...

What was it that you said
in the car?

This is embarrassing.

What was it, that she's
a self-centered little brat

who always has to have
things her own way?

You took what I said
out of context.

No, no, no, no. I want to hear
you defend yourself. Go on.

I'm not doing this with you.
I'm not doing this with you!

Why can't you fucking...

Why can't you fucking own it
for fucking once?!

Do you want to do the honors?

Yeah.

So, did I live?

What?

In your dream.

Did I survive?

Um...

You were coughing,
and I was in the next room.

And for a while,
I didn't do anything.

And I realized
something must be wrong,

so I walked into the room
where you were hanging yourself.

And I saw you.

And I felt like...

Why didn't I come in earlier?

Why did I just sit
in the other room

when those moments
could have made the difference?

Your face is all red,
but you were still breathing,

and I ran over to you
and tried to get you down.

I couldn't lift you and take
the belt off at the same time,

so I just tried to hold you up.

I couldn't stop thinking how...

I didn't want the last thing

that you experienced
in the world to be me panicking.

I wanted to be of someone

that really loved you.

And I kept just saying,
"it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay."

And I was holding you

and just saying this,
"gonna be okay,"

and I knew wasn't
going to be okay.

And then I woke up.

I love you.