All language subtitles for Top.Gear.US.S02E13.HDTV.XviD-MOMENTUM

Now on Top Gear.

We go car shopping

for one of the most famous
people in America. Go.

Which one of our
convertibles will he choose?

Go, go, go, go!

[Tires screech]

[Screams]

It's really windy!

[Tires screech]

Sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com

when a celebrity goes
shopping for a new car,

he doesn't drive to a dealership
and look around the lot.

He has the cars brought to him.

One of the biggest dealers in New England

had asked us to drive three
high-end cars from his lot

to a client 200 miles
away in New York City.

We chose our favorites and
met up in Massachusetts.

[Engine shuts off]

[Beeping]

It may be a little hard to get out of,

but when money is no object,

is there a better car in the world

than the Lamborghini Murci�lago Roadster?

If you look up "exotic" in the
dictionary, there's no words.

There's just a picture of this
car slathered across the pages.

And at just over $420,000, it's
the perfect car for a celebrity.

[Classical music plays]

[Laughs]

Yeah.

Yeah.

Huh?

Bentley continental GTC, my friend.

How is it that even when you get a new car,

it's still old or for old people?

This isn't old. This is iconic.

I mean, who would drive this, Bob hope?

Kobe Bryant has one of these.
Kim Kardashian has one of these.

Mike Tyson has one of these.

Any people that I would care about?

And when does your new cd drop?

So, yeah, it's very popular with rappers

because they have incredible
taste in style. Yeah,

'cause when you think of
taste and class, it's Ludacris.

Well, Luda doesn't own one,
but 50 Cent does, young jeezy.

And look at the craftsmanship!

Wood: Please don't touch that.

Oh, wow.

Don't. Seriously, don't touch that.

Is this imported duct tape?
That's like 25 grand, man.

25 grand for that? [Chuckling] Yeah.

But, I mean, this is just
style. This is panache.

Here comes panache now.

[Horn honks]

Oh, the horn is so weak.

[Laughs]

Wow. You went German. I'm stunned.

Behold, gentlemen.

The incognito super car.

The Porsche Turbo S Cabriolet.

The incognito super car.

Yeah. Celebrities are
always in the spotlight,

so why do you need to show off with that?

This is for somebody who
actually enjoys driving.

These are for celebrities.
This is comm, my friend.

A 911. They're grocery-getters!

This grocery-getter is
faster than this $400,000...

Oh, is that true? How fast do you go?

How fast will that go?

2.7 zero to 60.

- What's your top speed?
- 196.

Oh, really? 205!

How fast will it go with the top on?

100. It says don't go more
than that or it'll blow off.

Our three convertibles
were completely different...

Old,

lame,

and just right.

Son of a...

To help figure out which would
be the best for our buyer,

we'd be doing a series of challenges

on our way to New York.

We were headed to our
to our first challenge

in Kingston, New York.

I was confident I'd gotten
inside the celebrity mind

with my half-million-dollar
ego booster.

This could be the most
impractical car in the world,

but are most celebrities practical?

No.

This car shouts, "look at me, world!

I've done something
notable in some regard."

Ferrara: The Bentley's
all about craftsmanship.

The leather in here is made
from 11 different hides.

It's like a small herd has gone
into the interior of this car.

That Porsche? Please.

That's a real-estate
developer from Sacramento

trying to convince girls half his age

that he was a Navy S.E.A.L. and
his wife doesn't understand him.

Foust: I think for this car, I was
kind of picturing like a Matt Damon.

I mean, Seinfeld has
a lot of these already.

He's in New York. Damon's in New York.

For a celebrity in New York,
it just gets the job done.

George Clooney. Kobe Bryant.

Justin Bieber. Bieber
would love this thing.

Sir Elton John. The queen of england.

Which I think is the same person.

Wood: Beyonc� would love this car.

You could even put a baby seat right here.

It would be great, honestly,

if it was like Paris
Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.

Someone that makes questionable
decisions would love this car.

We arrived for our first challenge,

where we'd also be getting our first clue

to who our mystery celebrity was.

All right.

"Your celebrity client is a huge
golf fan "and has been described

"as one of the most
well-groomed stars in America.

"To prove your super car can
haul ass to the golf course

"and keep a celebrity camera-ready,

you will race a golf ball
hit by a professional."

How you doing?

"You must beat the golf ball 250
yards wearing the contents of the box."

[Sighs]

Holy crap. Oh.

Oh, it's just... It's a rat's nest.

Yeah.

It's like a hairpiece. Is it human?

It's a toupee.

- Our celebrity wears a toupee?
- That could be anybody.

Do you guys know how to take
the tops down on your cars?

Ew. Mnh-mnh.

Oh. Oh, it's one of those.

Oh, it's one of those.

Okay.

One button. Be a button. Be just a button.

There it is.

Ah!

Ha ha!

I think that's that. That's how that works.

Really?!

Okay. Getting tight on me, gramp.

[Laughs]

He knows his way around a '78 Volkswagen

like nobody's business. Mm-hmm.

You get him around a $400,000 car...

It's like a tent.

You went to school for... Yeah.

Oh! Look how easy that was.

That took no time at all.

- Yeah, you win.
- What are you gonna do with that?

I'm just gonna leave this
over in the grass for a minute.

25 grand, and you leave it on the grass.
- It's fine.

Ferrara: Since Rut finished
last, we made him go first.

[Sighs]

This is it.

I'm in an Italian super car

racing an American hitting a gold ball,

and I look like I'm Canadian.

You know, the wig actually
works with that car.

It kind of does.

Let's do it.

Okay, Rut. Here we go.

In three, two, one.

Go!

[Tires screech]

Second gear, here we go!

Straight at us. Yeah, that's not good.

Here we go! Yeah! There goes my hair!

Oh. Damn it.

Oh, my gosh. That thing's fast.

Yeah. That was really fast.

But useless. Lost his hair. No good.

Valiant try, my friend.

I'll be honest, it was violent.

The suction is incredible.
I thought I lost my shirt.

You're up next. Okay.

Look out for flying balls, fellas.

Look at this.

I feel like I'm mourning
the loss of my husband,

so I took the money and bought a Bentley.

God, I miss Lou.

If there's any car that's gonna
keep the hairpiece, it's the Bentley.

That's what I think.

But he's not gonna get
the golf ball. No way.

That's what this is all about. That
thing doesn't have enough power.

[Engine revs] John, you ready?

Ready!

Wait a minute. Bend your knees.

Follow through.

Foust: All right, Adam. Here we go.

In three, two, one.

Go!

Here it comes.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hair on! Hair on! Hair on!

Here's the ball. Here's the ball.

Yes!

[Laughs]

Wow.

Ha ha! I still got my hair!

Wow. It smoked him, didn't it?

See, I beat the ball, which
is much more important.

You lost huge. Ball was gone.

Wasn't even close. All right.

But my hair's on, and I look
good. Yeah, but you're late.

Look, if you want to show
up on time with your hair,

get a Porsche.

You forgot your hair. Wood:
Get a good look at that.

You're gonna be wearing one of those

in about five more years. Thanks.

Hey, it happens to a lot of guys.

Not to me, but it happens to a lot of guys.

Yeah. It's genetic.

Foust: All right. Here's the deal...

This is one of the fastest
production cars on the planet.

If Rutledge can beat that golf ball,

then I can beat that golf ball.

The problem is keeping the wig on.

So that's why I'm gonna bring this up,

which will block the air
from coming this direction.

But, you know, this kind of fits, actually.

I used to have a hairdo like this

when I was a ski bum in
vail, except it was orange.

Okay. We're good to go, John.

Oh, man. Pressure is on.

Here we go, Tanner. Three, two, one.

Go!

Foust: Coming up, the clues get weirder...

Guys...

Is that a sit 'n' scoot?

...As we head to New York City

to meet up with our celebrity client.

To deliver three expensive convertibles

to a celebrity buyer.

Along the way, the challenges we'd face

would give us clues to who it was.

[Tires screech]

The first test we faced

was racing a golf ball down a runway

wearing a hairpiece.

My half-million-dollar
Murci�lago

had beaten the ball but lost me the wig.

There went my hair!

Adam's Bentley had kept his wig on

but couldn't outrun the ball.

Yes!

[Laughs]

Now it was Tanner's turn in his 911 Turbo.

I'd like the ball to beat Tanner
and for him to lose his hair.

- Is that possible?
- I think so. I hope so.

Here we go, Tanner.

[Beep, engine revs]

Go!

Go! Go, go, go, go!

Where's the ball? Where's the ball?

That thing is fast.

Yeah!

Was that a fist pump? Yeah.

Girl power.

And the hair is still on!

[Tires screech]

Why does he do this?

And he thinks he's not a
showoff, for the record.

Yeah!

You look like...

Danny Bonaduce from "The Partridge Family."

[Chuckling] Yeah.

What is this?

Why did you put a wind screen up?

Does yours not have one of those?

No.

Well, that would mean that it's not suited

for celebrity usage, I'm afraid.

However, you guys are clearly
deflecting from the point.

Not only did I blow the
doors off the golf ball,

I also got there looking good.

[Applause] That one got you.

I got to be honest, that was so
cool, outrunning the golf ball.

Did you think it was possible?

I had no idea we could do that. We.

By we, you mean the two of us.

Yes. I had no idea. Yeah, that was great.

Yeah. I'm so happy for the both of you.

I have to get you a card. I really do.

Yeah. That would be nice.

All right, let's try and
figure out who the celebrity is.

So, what do we know?

All right. So far, we
know that they like golf.

Mm-hmm.

They've got great hair.

Oh! I got nothing.

Yeah. Let's just hope
that this next challenge

tells us more about who they might be.

Foust: So it was one to nothing for my 911.

Our next challenge was 30 miles
away at a private racetrack.

The drive there was prime
super car territory...

Beautiful winding, country roads

past picture-perfect villages.

I was loving it.

[Tires screech]

Oh, yeah. Now we are talking.

Rutledge's experience was different.

[Burps]

[Sighs]

Oh, boy.

Daddy's getting a little
bit nauseous on this road.

Oh, boy.

The Lamborghini rides
like a mechanical bull.

Wood: I'm going to hurl.

Guys, I got to pull over for a minute.

I'm about to throw up.

Are you really?

[Bleats] Wood: [Burp]

Oh, the [Bleep] Manure.

[Laughs] [Gagging]

Ferrara: Take a picture
of me with the sheep.

Oh, God.

That smells so bad.

[Gagging] Come on.

[Spitting]

Son of a [Bleep] I wanted to get in here.

You all right?

I'm great. I'm just stretching.

[Laughs]

Luckily for Rutledge,

it was only a few miles to the racetrack

where we'd be competing
in our next challenge

and getting another clue
to our celebrity's identity.

Look at that bank turn. That is awesome.

"Your celebrity client requires a car

that's easy to get in and out
of and straightforward to drive."

[Laughs] You're out.

"To find out which of your
cars best meets theses needs,

"you will each do two laps of the track.

"However, one of those laps
will be driven by a co-driver.

Lowest combined time wins."

Co-driver?

Guys.

[Rock music plays]

Oh, wow.

Is that a sit 'n' scoot?

Wait, if these are our co-drivers,

does that mean our celebrity is really old?

I thought I smelled bengay.

They're talking about us.

Foust: They can hear
you. They can't hear us.

They have hearing aids. They turn
those things up. It's like bionic.

All: Hi, ladies.

Hello.

Whoa!

Ferrara: You're ready to go, aren't you?

Look at this daredevil. I'm Tanner.

Hello. I'm Mary.

Ellie. Wood: Hi, Ellie.

Ferrara: Adam. Nice to see you.

I don't know how to ask
this. Do you guys still drive?

Yeah.

Yes, I do. I do. Absolutely.

I noticed... what? That's a fair question.

Have you ever been in a Lamborghini?

A who?

Okay. Perfect. Who is it?

I think we should go in the Porsche, Hetty.

Which one is that?

Mary? I think me and you should
go in the Bentley. All right.

Oh, my God.

Hetty, let's go.

Ellie? What?

Beautiful, that leaves you and me. In what?

We're gonna go in the
Lamborghini. The whom?

Wood: We had a few minutes before the race

to get our co-drivers
acquainted with our cars.

Just watch your head on the door.

There you go. Yes.

Okay. Perfect. [Screams]

Are you okay?

Mary: Whoa.

[Tires screech]

[Laughs]

Oh, my goodness.

Where's the ambulance?

[Screams]

So, we come in here high,
right? So you slow in. Okay.

Then you go fast. Balls out.

Balls out. Okay.

Whoa.

There you go.

So, this goes up a gear to the next gear.

And this goes down a
gear. Did you hear that?

Right.

Now, does that have anything
to do with the speed?

Yeah. The faster you go,
the higher gear you go into.

It's the same. You have a
gas pedal and a brake pedal.

Is there a gas pedal? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, there's a gas pedal.

Ellie: This speed is fine.

This is 25 miles an hour. That's fine.

Okay.

We are gonna have to race my friends,

and it's kind of important that I do well.

That would seem really fast to you? 30.

30. Okay. Let's do that.

Oh, there we are.

Training was over, and it was time to race.

Adam was up first in his
old-man car with his old lady.

Wow. They both look so nervous.
They're so scared. Deer in headlights.

Why don't you step on the
brake? Oh. Wait a minute.

Ooh. [Laughs] No, that's
the gas. There's the brake.

Three, two, one.

Go!

That's it, Mary. Get some, baby!

There you go.

Hetty: Oh, my gosh.

You see that, Ellie?

Mary: [Laughs]

Okay. Coming to the turn. To the turn.

There's the apex. And then right out.

Balls out. Balls out, baby!

That's it. Oh, Mary.

I think she found the bottom
of the gas pedal there.

Whoa! Good job.

[Tires screech]

I hear tires squealing.

What does that mean?

That means that she is gonna
be faster than Adam. Okay.

Foust: Mary's lap was fast,
and she was enjoying herself.

Stop, stop, stop.

But that was all about to change.

Oh, gosh.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Okay. I'm okay. Get in. You get in.

Is he pushing? He just scooted her in.

[Engine revs]

[Tires screech]

Oh. No one is safe.

[Screams]

Adam, this is not so
good. This is too fast.

We didn't practice like this, Adam!
Stop! We're almost there, Mary.

[Screams]

We scream, run.

Don't second-guess it. Just run.

You know what? Let's flip
your handles up just in case.

I want to see my grandchildren. You will.

We'll go to them right now.

One more turn and we're home.
Don't worry. All right. Okay.

Here he comes. Oh. Coming in hot.

Coming in hot.

[Tires screech]

[Screams]

There.

[Laughs]

Give me something, girl. Good job.

We did it! Yes.

Foust: I was up next,

and we had to beat Adam
and Mary's time of 2:50.

Okay. This is the brake.

Yes.

Where's the gas pedal?

It's on the right. Oh. [Laughs]

You got it, right? I got it.

Okay. Time to beat is 2:50. 2:50.

Okay. You ready?

Three...

Two...

One. Go!

Full throttle.

Foust: Coming up, we find out

just how easy our super
cars are to drive...

Whee! We are flying!

...And we hit the big apple.

Two, one. Go!

[Tires screech]

Welcome back to "Top Gear."

We were on our way to New York City

to deliver what we thought
was the perfect convertible

for our mystery celebrity client.

Now, he or she was gonna
just use one of these cars,

and each challenge was
supposed to give us a clue

as to their identity.

Yeah, and our latest challenge had to do

with a racetrack and a grandmother.

Which is very confusing.

Does that mean or celebrity
is old or just likes old women?

Ooh. Could be Ashton
kutcher. He likes old ladies.

That's true.

Now, what were you thinking
about the Lamborghini?

I mean, did you just take

the most expensive car you could find?

No. That car's perfect for a celebrity.

It's over the top, and you know what?

Me and my granny are gonna prove it to you,

'cause we're gonna beat both
of you guys on the track.

Wood: We were in the middle
of our second challenge,

which was a relay race around a track...

Good job.

...With grandmothers for co-drivers.

[Screams]

Adam had gone first and set a time of 2:50.

We did it! Yes.

The plastic surgeon was up next.

Go! Full throttle.

Ferrara: And Hetty's off! Hetty: Whoo!

Keep to the right. Keep going faster.

Good.

We may have underestimated Hetty. Wow.

The demon inside Hetty is coming out.

She is really, really going for it.

Ellie, you don't have a
heart condition, right? I had.

Really? Yeah.

Getting ready for your big
moment on the straightaway.

And full throttle. Right to the floor.

Foot all the way to the floor.
All the way. All the way down.

All the way to the floor. Go,
go, go. It's got more than that.

Go, go, go, go, go! Faster, faster, faster!

Listen to her! She's opening it up.

Good. Get ready to brake. And brake.

Slow it down.

And stop. Stop.

Look at her. Good girl.
Ellie: Nice. Very nice.

Come on out. Come on out. I got it.

Nice and easy.

Be a gentleman. You be a gentleman!

At the halfway point, our time was 1:50.

I had some work to do.

Hetty: [Laughing] Oh, my God.

All right. I think you
were very close there,

but I think we might be
just a little bit behind.

So I'm gonna have to push through.

Have to make it up. I
trust you. I trust you.

[Tires screech]

Oh, my gosh.

That's not the tires. That's Hetty.

Wow. This car is so fast.

Faster than I did.

Yes. That is a good point.

You're doing good?
You're doing okay, right?

[Tires screech]

Oh, my God. Poor Hetty.

I'm glad I wasn't in that car.

Hmm.

That was great.

With a time of 2:39, my
Porsche was back in the lead.

On paper, Rut's super-fast
lambo is the car to beat,

but Rut was taking no chances
in getting Ellie pumped.

Just remember we're gonna go as fast as...

As I feel like.

As you feel comfortable. Absolutely.

But just keep in mind, do you see
those two guys over there? Yeah.

Those are the knuckleheads I'm
trying to beat. I know that.

I could use a win here, okay? I hope so.

Ready? Mm-hmm.

Three...

Two...

Both: ...One. Go!

It's the big one on the
right. Yep. That's it.

A little more gas. Little
more gas. Yeah, to the right.

To the right, to the right,
to the right, to the right.

To the right. Okay, perfect.

That is 22 miles an hour!

Whee! We are flying.

It sounds good. Listen, listen. Yeah.

I don't think it's out
of first gear, though.

Uh-oh.

Wood: We got to stay on the track.

[Laughs]

That's 50!

Look at you! Look at you! 50 miles an hour.

Ferrara: Here they come.

Here they come. Here she
comes. Here she comes.

Wood: And stop. Brakes, brakes, brakes.

Okay.

Come on. Get out, Ellie! Hurry!

You're doing so great. Look at you!

You don't need that sit 'n' scoot!

Wood: At the changeover, there
was still everything to play for.

This was gonna be the lambo's day.

How fast does he need to go?

He's got to do a nine-second lap.

[Engine revs] Ellie: [Screaming]

Wood: I'm sorry.

I just got to make up a
little bit of time here.

[Screams]

Oh! [Speaks indistinctly]

[Screams]

Get ready. Get ready.

Attaboy! That's enough!

[Tires screech]

All right. I'm getting out.

[Sighs]

Nice work, Rut.

[Applause]

Bang-up job.

Watch. Here, just...

Bless your heart. Oh.

Foust: Here you go, Ellie.

Oh, you guys are dropping that off for her.

Just wanted to bring your scooter.

Did we or did we not have
the time of our lives!?

The time of our lives.

You had a long time of
your life. Well, how long?

3:49 worth of great.

Mm.

So that means...

The Porsche is the
easiest super car to drive.

Granny power. Oh, give me a hug, Hetty.

Oh, how nice. You did great, Mary.

Mary: We came in second.

Thank you very much. Take care.

You can get home on that scooter.

Oh, thanks.

Bye, Lamborghini.

Bye, Bentley.

We headed out and learned something new...

Whatever their age,
there's no woman on earth

that Tanner doesn't
feel the need to impress.

[Tires screeching]

Be still, my heart. [Laughs]

Foust: With two challenges
done and a 2-0 lead,

my 911 was looking like
the perfect chohoice

for our mystery celebrity.

But as we headed to an
address near central park,

we still didn't know for
sure who our client was.

If our celebrity is Dennis rodman...

Rutledge wins.

If it's Dr. Ruth, Adam wins.

Everything in between

falls in the category of the Porsche Turbo.

I'm just playing the percentages, here.

That's all. It's just science.

Ferrara: Gentlemen, welcome to my town.

Hey, it's really windy!

Put your head back down!

It's really windy!

All right, Adam.

Maybe you should get in the front.

I'm not exactly sure where we're headed.

Don't take the fdr.
They're working on the fdr.

Don't go on the...

I'm already on the fdr. I'm committed.

[Siren wails]

Where are we?

I don't know.

And Adam's not behind you?

No. I think Adam took a
little new yorker's shortcut.

Lost in New York City in a $400,000 car.

My lambo is great at going
fast and standing still,

but anything in between

was proving to be a
little more complicated.

[Engine sputtering]

[Laughs]

[Bleep]

Violent!

I feel like a should put a
piece of wood in your mouth

so you don't bite your tongue off.

I may have made a mistake.

Driving this car in New York City

may not be the best idea ever.

[Tires screech intermittently]

Clutch. Clutch getting a little sore.

Can't drive a stick?

No, I swear. It's automatic!

You don't have to explain
yourself to strangers. It's cool.

I just wish I knew where we were going.

I mean, Adam's the new yorker.

I'm following the California boy, here.

Oh, yeah, let's get in this Lane.

Adam's driving style
makes so much more sense

after having driven in this city.

Ferrara: I was the first to
arrive at our meeting point.

Something told me

that our celebrity client
had made a few bucks.

But where were
the out-of-towners?

Come on, Tanner. Come on. Come on.

Hell, yes.

Three, two, one. Go!

[Tires screech]

[Laughs]

We're going to jail.

Oh [Bleep] That was awesome.

You can check that box on the bucket list

for doing a burnout in
Manhattan in a Lamborghini.

All right, I think
we're getting close here.

All right, turning left.

Hey, Adam is here.

I'm pulling up behind his car right now.

How did you get here?

I told you, don't take the fdr.

I was already in the FDR.

Don't take the FDR. They're working on it.

It's Trump.

Of course it's Trump.

The hair and the grandma thing.

Golf. Money.

[Elevator bell dings]

- It all makes sense.
- It totally does.

Guys. Guys. That's him.

Oh, my gosh. It's Donald Trump.

Wood: Coming up, the
Donald goes car shopping...

But this is quicker.
It's quicker, not faster.

...And things get tense in the board room.

I'm gonna fire you.

We had been asked by a high-end dealer

to drive three convertibles to New York

to present to Donald Trump, who
is in the market for a new car.

Around 14 million cars are
sold every year in the U.S.

But only 300 of those are Lamborghinis.

It's really windy!

That's why my choice was perfect.

It was exclusive.

Tanner's Porsche may have been

the fastest and simplest
to drive in the challenges,

but it would all come down to the Donald.

He's so much taller than I thought he was.

Oh, I smell bad. I don't smell very good.

You do smell.

Am I sweating? Yes! You're
sweating. It's terrible.

Trump: Hello, fellas.

Wood: Mr. Trump, how
are you? Nice to see you.

Rutledge wood. Nice to meet you.

Tanner foust. Nice to meet you.

Adam ferrara. Nice to meet you, Mr. Trump.

We understand you're in the
market for a new convertible,

so we'd like to present our cars to you.

Let me see what you have.

Let's start right over here.

This exquisite machine

is the Lamborghini Murci�lago Roadster.

632 horsepower, less than 200 made a year.

Elegance, class. It's a beautiful car.

And I actually had one.

You had one? I had one.

Hmm. Very interesting.

Okay. What do you have?

I know you weren't necessarily
impressed with that,

but this is the 2011 Turbo s cabriolet.

This is a driver's car.

It's the quickest out of the bunch.

Zero to 60 in 2.7 seconds. What
do you think? Come here a minute.

You agree this is quicker
than that? It is not, sir.

I'm not saying he's a
liar, but that's not true.

Zero to 60 in 2.7 seconds.

205 miles an hour. This only goes 196.

But this is quicker.
It's quicker, not faster.

It's quicker.

Listen, Mr. Trump, while
the children are arguing,

may I show you a man's car? Let's go.

Bentley Continental GTC.

This car combines luxury, prestige,

with a racing heritage.

The interior is made by coach builders.

This car has plenty of ground clearance,

so you won't be scraping anywhere,

and it's also economical.

Out of the three of them,
this one did the best on gas.

Okay, but I'll see you up
in the office. Sound good?

Thank you, fellas. Thank you, sir.

Very good. Pleasure to meet you.

See you later. Okay.

We just got invited to the board room.

We're going to the board room.

Come on. Come on. Board
room? Are you kidding me?

[Applause]

All right, so, pick your favorite...

A Porsche, a Bentley, or a Lamborghini.

Hmm. That's a hard one.

Porsche. No. Lamborghini.

All right, it's time now
for "big star, small car,"

and our star today is an actor,

he's a singer, and a Gulf war vet.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. jon huertas.

[Cheers and applause] Thank yoyou.

Welcome. Thank you very
much. Thanks for having me.

Are you ready to get out
there and turn some laps?

Yeah. I am. We'll see you in
the hangar when you're done.

Good luck.

[Cheers and applause]

If I crash the car, do
I have to pay for it?

[Tires screech]

The fastest time on our track so far

is 1:41 by Patrick warburton.

Let's see if jon can take him down.

Come on, baby. Here we go.

A lot of speed into this first...

Wow. You got to be brave
to get through there.

[Tires screech] Nice speed.

Really technical turn right there.

Cut this one nice and tight.

Slide in.

Now, this gets so complicated
here at the teardrop,

'cause you got to
down-shift, you're braking

with your left foot, gas with your right.

This is where a lot of people lose it.

[Bleep]

Man.

Oh. Watch out for that bird.

Getting up as much speed here
as you can on the back stretch.

And this next part is
where you got to get brave.

Wow. I'm going fast. This is crazy.

Push a lot of speed into this corner

while you're turning into the left.

Wait, why'd I turn my windshield wipers on?

This is ridiculous.

Windshield wipers obviously not gonna help.

Look ahead. Look ahead.

Third gear. Open it up. Flat out.

He's trying to remember all
the stuff the stig taught him.

Let the car rotate, and
he's across the line.

[Cheers and applause]

Come on up, jon.

Jon huertas!

How you doing, man?

Have a seat.

[Cheers and applause]

So...

How was it out on the track?

It was a lot scarier than I
thought it was gonna be. Really?

A suzuki was scary?

Well, I'm not a racecar driver.

[Laughs]

Decided that today.

Well, we'll get to your lap.

Now, in high school, you were the man.

[Chuckles] I don't know if I was the man.

[Laughter] Come on.

You worked at sears, right?

[Laughter]

Well, that's not... Let me rephrase that.

I don't mean that, necessarily.

That made me the man.

No, but that meant you had money for a car.

It's true. I worked at sears,

and I had, like a commission
job, like a sales job.

I was one of the rich kids in school

without having rich parents.

[Laughs]

You know, I was able to go buy my own car

and take, you know, girls
out and pay for everything.

And what did you buy?

A volkswagen jetta g.L.I.

16 valve.

I love that car still.

I crashed it going 85 miles an hour.

[Laughter]

How'd that turn out?

It hurt.

[Laughter]

When you were in the military,

you had kind of what I
would call a dude phase.

You had a canary-yellow mustang gt.

Yeah. I had that car for many years.

You know, I brought it to L.A. with me,

had my little puerto rican
flag hanging on the mirror.

It was a fast machine.

It was a hot rod. It was a muscle car.

Now, when you had that
canary-yellow mustang gt,

did you ever get in any trouble
with it or have any problems?

Well, this one time in L.A.,

a friend of mine... We
were going to a party,

and we were going to
pick up another friend.

We were driving through
Hollywood or up towards Hollywood.

We stop at a stoplight, and up next to us

pulls this like small Chevy
blazer pick-up truck thing,

pulls up next to us.

And the guy's wearing a fu balaclava,

like, on his head with just
the eyes showing. Ski mask.

I just happened to glance over,

and the guy's just staring at me.

[Laughter]

And I'm like, "look at this guy."

Tell my friend, "check this guy out."

My friend looks over at him.
Now he's staring at my friend.

[Laughter]

The light turns green. I take off.

And the guy jumps in behind me.

And now I'm looking in my rear-view
mirror. "This guy's crazy."

I see him reaching behind
the seat of his vehicle,

and he pulls out a revolver,
looks at it, puts it down here.

Pulls out another one. Puts it in...

"What the hell?"

So, I, like, you know, speed
up and go, you know, faster.

We think we've gotten away,
but I'm still flooring it,

and we're coming out across
Santa Monica boulevard.

And right when we come out,
this bus just lays on the horn.

[Screams]

[Laughter]

The bus just barely misses us,

and then we drive to my
friend's house, you know.

We were supposed to be picking him up,

and I'm like, "we got
to take your car, man."

He's like, "why?!" [Laughter]

"Because we just got, like,
chased by some crazy maniac,

and he knows I have a
canary-yellow mustang!"

Yeah. I mean, how many canary-yellow
mustangs could there be?

There wasn't many of them. With
a puerto rican flag hanging.

With a puerto... [Laughter]

Hey, so, how do you think your lap went?

Do you feel like it was pretty solid?

You know what? I don't brag.

[Laughter]

So I'm gonna say it was probably fair.

When you say fair,

where would fair be on this board to you?
- Here's the thing.

Look, the network that I work
for... I had to hold back.

[Laughter]

Oh, really? On Monday,
I've got to go to work.

And they heard about me doing
this show, and they said,

"look, don't open it up.

We don't want anything to happen to you,"

'cause, you know, that
track's got loose gravel on it.

[Laughter] I can tumble
right off into the grass.

A lot of people think these
might be excuses... moneymaker.

What you're throwing out. [Laughter]

Do you guys want to know what his time was?

[Cheers and applause]

Jon, you did it in 1 minute...

44.3...

Tying with bill engvall.

[Cheers and applause]

Congratulations, man. That's a good time.

Jon huertas, everybody.

[Cheers and applause]

Ferrara: Coming up, we battle it out
in the board room with the Donald.

That's it?

Donald Trump is one of the
most famous men in America,

and everything he does is different,

including how he buys cars.

A high-end dealer in
new england had asked us

to drive three convertibles
to New York City

so that Mr. Trump could
pick the one he liked best.

Adam had driven a Bentley Continental;

Tanner a Porsche Turbo;

and me a Lamborghini Murci�lago.

The moment of truth had arrived,

and after a series of challenges,

we were ready to speed-pitch the Donald.

We're in the club, man.
Don't blow this for me.

Trump: Okay, gentlemen.

So, let's go.

The Continental GT was made by Bentley.

Bentley has a racing heritage.

It's a very luxurious automobile.

It has everything you need.
I know you like to golf.

You can fit two sets of
golf clubs in the trunk.

The car also has a top
speed of 194 miles an hour.

Let's say Warren buffett pulls
up next to you at a light.

You can smoke him and
still make your tee time.

Let me hear about the Lamborghini.

Sir, I don't need to tell you.

You're a man whose time is money,

and when you need to get somewhere quickly,

I'd rather get there the fastest
I can looking the best I can.

And the Lamborghini
Murci�lago Roadster does that.

205 miles an hour.

So, on the assumption I have bags
or golf clubs, where do I put them?

I got to be honest, sir,
I just don't believe...

Does it have room for them? It doesn't,

unless you were playing miniature
golf. What about the passenger seat?

You could put it in the passenger seat.

You can even put a baby
seat in the passenger seat.

Okay. Tell me about the Porsche.

Now, the Porsche is
the incognito super car.

This is not the car that's
gonna be super flashy.

Like I said, it's the
quickest of the bunch.

But not the fastest. Not the fastest,

but when you are going
at speed with the top off,

it is the most comfortable.

You have to be camera-ready

when you get to where you're going.

This is a car that won't, you know, uh...

Um, disturb that.

It also is the best...
What about the clubs?

Passenger seat with a seatbelt. That's it?

You have any carry-on luggage
capacity in the Lamborghini?

I would say at least
a briefcase, maybe two.

I mean, keep in mind,
it's a car so easy to drive

that a grandmother...

An 86-year-old
grandmother could drive it.

Right. Now, the Bentley has
plenty of luggage capacity.

Yes. The Bentley is the
only car you will need.

The Bentley has plenty of luggage capacity.

It's comfortable. You
can bring people with you.

Tanner's a racecar
driver. He's a lonely man.

He doesn't need to have
other people with him.

He's lonely because he can't get women,

or he can't get a boyfriend? No.

Is it women or a boyfriend?

It's women.

I think he prefers to only have one seat

and it only be there
for a week or two. Okay.

Thank you, fellas. Great honor.

Thank you. Thank you.

I've never been fired from a job before.

I find that hard to
believe. This feels weird.

Trump: Okay, gentlemen.

So, I saw three beautiful cars.

Not bad.

I really do like all three cars.

I understand all three cars.

I've driven all three
cars many, many times.

But I'm a pretty big guy. I'm 6'3".

So...

I'm gonna fire you.

I'm gonna fire you.

[Sighs]

And, Bentley, you're hired.

- Thank you, Mr. Trump. Have a good time.
- Thank you, fellas.

It was a great honor. Thank you.

Thank you.

I just got fired by Donald Trump.

This is the best day ever.

[Cheers and applause]

[Indistinct talking]

I tell you, what a lovely man.

I don't get very starstruck often,

but sitting in the board room
was like a deer in headlights,

you know? He was a lot taller
than I thought he was gonna be,

and he has excellent taste,
because he chose the Bentley.

[Cheers and applause]

I think in a way that
I may have actually won

because I hit the nail on the head.

I chose something for him that
he'd already bought for himself.

Yep. That he realized he made a mistake.

And he sold it. Really,
the Porsche should've won.

I won the granny test, I won the golf test,

and it didn't make me puke. Ha!

And the Bentley... As soon
as Donald gets in there,

realizes that... poof...
He's just aged 20 years,

he's gonna call you up and fire you.

He's gonna call meand rehire
me. That's what's gonna happen.

Damn it, I didn't see that coming.

That's exactly what's gonna happen.

And that's all we've
got time for. Thank you.

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