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Back in the '80s,
the special ladies in my life,
2
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my girlfriend, Brea, and my mom,
3
00:00:04,125 --> 00:00:05,798
weren't always on the same page.
4
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:06,882
Adam's kind of a nerd.
5
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,088
Brea Bee, I will run over your bike.
6
00:00:09,171 --> 00:00:11,261
She just tried to ship me off
to the North Pole.
7
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She called our family crazy
for some reason.
8
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:16,166
And as the sun set on my senior year,
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00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:18,435
splitting time between them
proved very tough.
10
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,966
I can't sit next to my girlfriend?
11
00:00:20,049 --> 00:00:21,935
You're sitting next to
your original girlfriend.
12
00:00:22,018 --> 00:00:25,525
That is,
until my mom hit us with a big surprise.
13
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,611
Hello, Adam and Brea.
14
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,880
Or as they say in Miami,
15
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,730
"Hola, Adam and Brea."
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00:00:31,813 --> 00:00:33,276
A year ago this would've surprised me,
17
00:00:33,359 --> 00:00:35,805
but now I just say, "There she is."
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- Don't engage.
- Too late.
19
00:00:37,387 --> 00:00:39,088
Brea already made eye contact,
20
00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:42,091
and now I want to show
you both my special gift.
21
00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:44,311
It's an early graduation present
22
00:00:44,394 --> 00:00:46,463
for my Mr. Pibb
and his little Orange Crush.
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- Is it soda?
- Brea, this isn't your house.
24
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Here we have soda whenever we want it.
25
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,096
- Open it.
- Careful.
26
00:00:52,179 --> 00:00:53,390
It could still be a trap.
27
00:00:53,473 --> 00:00:54,763
Adam, it's just a box.
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You are really taking a long time.
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Yay! I'm incredibly generous.
30
00:01:00,301 --> 00:01:01,937
Plane tickets to Miami?!
31
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,606
Because I love Adam,
and you're the girl he loves for now.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you!
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You deserve it.
34
00:01:08,131 --> 00:01:09,778
Okay, now, what's the catch?
35
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Is it a catch that you'll be staying
36
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,741
in a luxurious beachfront condominium?
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- Awesome.
- Keep going.
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That was left to me
by my beloved father.
39
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:18,662
- Oh.
- Continue.
40
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Which still contains
all of his belongings
41
00:01:20,882 --> 00:01:22,249
that I've been unable to deal with.
42
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- I see.
- She's not finished.
43
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So in between fun in the sun,
44
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I'll need you to sort,
label, and box these items,
45
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which are loaded
with emotional significance.
46
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Why didn't I see it?
47
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And the capper is...
48
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Oh, well, I'm coming along, too.
49
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And there it is!
50
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:37,973
Adam, wait. It is Miami.
51
00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,084
And she said we'll still get
a lot of fun in the sun.
52
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,391
So much sun. Maybe too much.
53
00:01:42,474 --> 00:01:45,023
Adam tends to burn where
his tushy meets his thighs.
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It'll be every night
with the aloe for me.
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C'mon. What do you say?
56
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For me?
57
00:01:50,358 --> 00:01:52,524
Fine. But I get to wear
58
00:01:52,607 --> 00:01:55,257
my Police Academy 5:
Assignment Miami Beach T-shirt.
59
00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:56,676
- Daddy needs a win, too.
- Yay!
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00:01:56,759 --> 00:01:59,037
My baby and I are going on a trip!
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00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,612
And Brea will be there.
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00:02:07,248 --> 00:02:10,255
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
63
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It was April 20th, 1980-something,
64
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and my sister was at a crucial juncture
65
00:02:19,454 --> 00:02:20,829
on her way to becoming a lawyer.
66
00:02:20,912 --> 00:02:23,419
She was about to find out
her LSAT score.
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00:02:23,502 --> 00:02:25,269
Relax, I'm sure you did great.
68
00:02:25,352 --> 00:02:27,546
You've been working so hard.
Now, open it.
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00:02:29,464 --> 00:02:31,514
Oh, my God. I bombed.
70
00:02:31,597 --> 00:02:33,081
Come on. I'm sure you just...
71
00:02:33,164 --> 00:02:35,605
Wow, that is a low score.
72
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,252
Okay, how do I spin this?
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00:02:37,335 --> 00:02:38,652
You're so pretty!
74
00:02:38,735 --> 00:02:40,674
It's over. Forget law school.
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00:02:40,757 --> 00:02:42,307
I'm just gonna be a doctor's wife
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00:02:42,390 --> 00:02:44,573
who drives around aimlessly
crying in her Mercedes.
77
00:02:44,656 --> 00:02:46,398
Or you just take the test again.
78
00:02:46,481 --> 00:02:48,328
You're the smartest person I know.
79
00:02:48,411 --> 00:02:49,967
Crap. Barry's coming.
80
00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:51,969
And he just got his MCAT scores.
81
00:02:52,052 --> 00:02:53,707
God, I bet he aced 'em, the idiot.
82
00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:55,016
He can't know about this.
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00:02:55,099 --> 00:02:56,408
But he knows you took the test.
84
00:02:56,491 --> 00:02:58,012
I mean, I'm not sure
we can keep it from him.
85
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,325
It's called lying, Geoff.
86
00:02:59,408 --> 00:03:01,182
And a husband lies for his wife.
87
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:03,681
No matter what the circumstances
are or how wrong she is.
88
00:03:03,764 --> 00:03:05,461
- He does?
- Do you remember that woman
89
00:03:05,544 --> 00:03:08,066
who was arrested for burying
her mailman in the garden?
90
00:03:08,149 --> 00:03:10,024
Where did her husband
say that she was that weekend?
91
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,033
- Apple picking in Vermont?
- Exactly.
92
00:03:12,116 --> 00:03:13,948
Because that's what marriage is,
93
00:03:14,031 --> 00:03:15,826
love and covering up heinous crimes.
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00:03:15,909 --> 00:03:17,604
I don't know.
I've never lied to Barry before.
95
00:03:17,687 --> 00:03:19,534
Oh, it's easy. I'll show you.
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00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:20,994
There's my favorite person
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00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:22,827
who definitely doesn't
smell like the towel
98
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that you use to dry the dog.
99
00:03:24,446 --> 00:03:26,666
Actually, sister, what you're smelling
100
00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:28,500
is the musk of dominance.
101
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,795
'Cause I just crushed the MCAT.
102
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,547
- Nice, Bar!
- It is nice.
103
00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,841
I now have my pick of med schools.
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00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,092
And everyone in this mall
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00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,344
will be a flea on my rump
if I were a horse.
106
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:40,496
Unless they're my patient,
in which case,
107
00:03:40,579 --> 00:03:41,802
they'd be the salt lick to my horse
108
00:03:41,885 --> 00:03:43,516
and get the best care money can buy.
109
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,208
Got a little lost in the horse talk,
110
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,186
- but all sounds great, I think.
- Yeah.
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00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,158
Oh, Erica did well on her LSAT.
112
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- A perfect score.
- Wow, okay.
113
00:03:52,374 --> 00:03:53,690
I'll have my pick of law schools,
114
00:03:53,773 --> 00:03:55,729
but I'll probably focus
on helping people
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instead of making money.
116
00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:59,733
Thus proving how lawyers
are dumber than doctors.
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00:03:59,816 --> 00:04:02,535
Now, who will fetch me
a celebratory stromboli?
118
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:03,619
And who will fetch mine?
119
00:04:04,668 --> 00:04:07,088
- Uh, I guess me?
- There ya go.
120
00:04:07,171 --> 00:04:08,916
Those of us who aced graduate-level
121
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,877
standardized tests need to be served.
122
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,128
- Okay.
- And all the napkins.
123
00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:14,668
I... I'm a little surprised.
124
00:04:14,751 --> 00:04:16,841
You're famously terrible
at taking tests.
125
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,496
Well, now I'm famously the best at it.
126
00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:20,885
And let's drop it because
I'm also famously modest.
127
00:04:23,449 --> 00:04:24,974
Oh, my God. Is he choking?
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00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,630
Relax, food court!
129
00:04:26,713 --> 00:04:28,186
I just did very well on my MCAT!
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00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:29,395
I'm basically a doctor!
131
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,112
Now, if a patient can't make a sound,
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00:04:31,195 --> 00:04:32,548
then he's definitely choking.
133
00:04:32,631 --> 00:04:34,400
Sir, are you choking?
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You gotta speak up,
I can barely hear you.
135
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:38,821
He's obviously choking, Barry!
Do something!
136
00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,615
I'm diagnosing, Erica.
137
00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:41,819
Try coughing.
138
00:04:41,902 --> 00:04:43,111
Out, calzone!
139
00:04:43,194 --> 00:04:44,865
Ugh! Disgusting.
140
00:04:44,948 --> 00:04:46,329
What the hell just happened?
141
00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,500
This lady just saved the old man's life.
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00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:50,250
She's a hero.
143
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:53,086
While Barry
stewed at Erica basking in the sun,
144
00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:55,498
Brea and I were ready to catch
some rays of our own.
145
00:04:55,581 --> 00:04:56,631
We're headed to the beach.
146
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:58,800
Brea's gonna bodysurf
while I watch from the shore.
147
00:04:58,883 --> 00:05:00,664
I saw a picture of Pinocchio
at the airport,
148
00:05:00,747 --> 00:05:02,309
and my fear of whales is bubbling up.
149
00:05:02,392 --> 00:05:03,875
Sounds good. And you know what?
150
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:05,473
I might not even need your help at all.
151
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,955
- Really?
- Yeah, I'm just, uh,
152
00:05:07,038 --> 00:05:08,951
emotionally ready for this, you know?
153
00:05:09,604 --> 00:05:12,569
Like, here's my dad's sweater.
It even smells like him.
154
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:15,386
There's no sense of loss,
155
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just lots of warm memories.
156
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That's great, Mom.
157
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Aw, see, right now,
I'm remembering the first time
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he ever took me to the park.
159
00:05:22,603 --> 00:05:25,503
And I wanted to go on the
swings, but I was so nervous.
160
00:05:25,586 --> 00:05:26,968
- Aww.
- Big aww.
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We should get going.
162
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So he put my little hand in his.
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It was so strong and encouraging.
164
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That's him alright.
165
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Cowabunga. The sand awaits.
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I felt so safe and loved.
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00:05:36,476 --> 00:05:38,980
And now, because he's gone,
168
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because he was stolen from me...
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Balls.
170
00:05:41,521 --> 00:05:43,484
I'll never feel that way again!
171
00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:44,945
Oh-ho, God!
172
00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:46,884
Please tell me that's someone
to tell us there's a hurricane.
173
00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:49,267
I'll get rid of them.
You two need to witness more
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of the deep personal bond
I had with my father.
175
00:05:51,940 --> 00:05:53,715
Hello. Are you Beverly?
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00:05:53,798 --> 00:05:54,855
Uh, that depends.
177
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,505
Is this about the speed limit
in this community?
178
00:05:56,588 --> 00:05:58,730
Because six is [BLEEP].
179
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I'm Charlotte.
180
00:06:00,292 --> 00:06:01,950
I was a friend of your dad's.
181
00:06:02,033 --> 00:06:04,398
Well, a girlfriend really.
182
00:06:04,481 --> 00:06:07,121
Ah, yes. Yeah, he had a lot of those.
183
00:06:07,204 --> 00:06:09,988
Um, but don't worry, I'm sure
you were the special one.
184
00:06:10,071 --> 00:06:11,323
Oh, Adam?
185
00:06:11,406 --> 00:06:12,664
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
186
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,957
Adam, do you know this woman?
187
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,152
Does he know me?
188
00:06:15,235 --> 00:06:18,086
We came in second in
the condo talent competition
189
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,464
with our soaring rendition
of the "Banana Boat Song."
190
00:06:22,154 --> 00:06:24,343
What... the actual... hell.
191
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,807
How many times have you met
192
00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:27,848
this woman I've never even heard of?
193
00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:30,559
All four times
he visited Albert down here.
194
00:06:30,642 --> 00:06:32,144
Adam [BLEEP] Goldberg.
195
00:06:32,227 --> 00:06:35,314
The "F" is actually for
Frederick, but you know that.
196
00:06:35,397 --> 00:06:37,138
And Brea's here, too.
197
00:06:37,221 --> 00:06:38,484
Wait, you know Brea?
198
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,033
Well, let's be clear, no.
199
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:41,653
I spoke to her once on the phone
200
00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:43,676
when Pops was opening Adam's pistachios.
201
00:06:43,759 --> 00:06:45,427
It was a particularly stubborn batch.
202
00:06:45,510 --> 00:06:46,726
None of this makes sense.
203
00:06:46,809 --> 00:06:48,252
Well, I had just clipped my nails.
204
00:06:48,335 --> 00:06:51,578
Not your comely
feminine fingers, this woman.
205
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,789
I can see that this is very complicated
206
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,494
and difficult for you, Beverly,
207
00:06:55,577 --> 00:06:58,877
so I'll give you time
to process and drop by later.
208
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,357
Ta.
209
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,422
Congrats on NYU.
210
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,135
After Charlotte's visit,
I wanted to disappear.
211
00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,471
Meanwhile, Erica was enjoying
the spotlight.
212
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:09,612
This old dude couldn't breathe.
213
00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:11,706
We were losing him,
and as others froze...
214
00:07:11,789 --> 00:07:13,958
I was assessing the situation,
thank you.
215
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,140
This man's life was in my hands.
216
00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:17,278
These hands.
217
00:07:17,361 --> 00:07:19,071
So delicate yet strong.
218
00:07:19,154 --> 00:07:20,239
Like lady hammers.
219
00:07:20,322 --> 00:07:21,310
- Can I touch them?
- No.
220
00:07:21,393 --> 00:07:22,688
I'm a tactile learner, but okay.
221
00:07:22,771 --> 00:07:24,534
And I summoned all my strength.
222
00:07:24,617 --> 00:07:27,161
And thrust! Thrust! Thrust!
223
00:07:27,244 --> 00:07:28,871
And then, calzone nub.
224
00:07:28,954 --> 00:07:30,948
And so, life.
225
00:07:31,031 --> 00:07:32,257
Wow. How'd you know what to do?
226
00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:34,217
Instinct. Intelligence.
227
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,239
Perfect skin.
228
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,508
Um, and bravery.
229
00:07:36,591 --> 00:07:37,770
There was also that Heimlich chart
230
00:07:37,853 --> 00:07:39,161
next to the Orange Julius kiosk
231
00:07:39,244 --> 00:07:40,343
that we happened
to be looking at earlier.
232
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:42,085
But where does the bravery come from?
233
00:07:42,168 --> 00:07:45,155
Like, how do you have it
and others... Don't?
234
00:07:45,238 --> 00:07:47,574
I don't know.
Maybe it stems from my credo,
235
00:07:47,657 --> 00:07:50,450
"You either live for something
or you die for nothing."
236
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:52,075
That's Rambo: First Blood'scredo.
237
00:07:52,158 --> 00:07:53,685
Yeah, and he got it from me.
238
00:07:53,768 --> 00:07:55,058
Questions? More praise?
239
00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,494
Can you take a look
at this mole on my neck?
240
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,496
She's not a doctor-to-be. I am.
241
00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,846
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but
she clearly has a knack
242
00:07:59,929 --> 00:08:01,365
for this sorta thing. What do you think?
243
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:02,894
- Should I be worried?
- Honestly, yes.
244
00:08:02,977 --> 00:08:05,021
I'm scared, but it's good to know.
245
00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:07,565
Anyway, the mall is holding
a ceremony to honor me
246
00:08:07,648 --> 00:08:09,872
as Food Court Hero of the Year,
247
00:08:09,955 --> 00:08:10,931
so you guys should all come.
248
00:08:11,014 --> 00:08:12,498
She's getting free strombolis for life
249
00:08:12,581 --> 00:08:14,166
and something called the "Golden Tray."
250
00:08:14,249 --> 00:08:16,995
Okay, you did fine punching
that old geezer in the gut,
251
00:08:17,078 --> 00:08:18,574
but I'm the real doctor here.
252
00:08:18,657 --> 00:08:19,958
I crushed the MCAT.
253
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,221
Being a doctor isn't about
filling in test bubbles.
254
00:08:22,304 --> 00:08:23,842
Bar, maybe you can be
one of those doctors
255
00:08:23,925 --> 00:08:25,050
that runs the hospital.
256
00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:26,182
You know, a little less hands on.
257
00:08:26,265 --> 00:08:27,705
Yeah, one of those admin types
258
00:08:27,788 --> 00:08:29,106
who's always worried about the budget,
259
00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:31,053
and denies healthcare to kids
because of insurance issues.
260
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,163
That's it.
261
00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:33,255
One way or another,
262
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,015
I'll reclaim my medical dominance.
263
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,934
And you'll all be begging me
to exam your moles and bodies.
264
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:40,285
As Barry swore he, too, could be a hero,
265
00:08:40,368 --> 00:08:42,974
my mom still saw me as the villain.
266
00:08:43,057 --> 00:08:43,984
Hitting the beach?
267
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,333
Or would you rather not tell me,
268
00:08:45,416 --> 00:08:47,292
because you're a son
who gets a cheap thrill
269
00:08:47,375 --> 00:08:49,362
from harboring dark family secrets?
270
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,708
Alright, relax.
271
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:53,052
What kind of boy
doesn't tell his own mother
272
00:08:53,135 --> 00:08:54,635
about his grandpa's lover?
273
00:08:54,718 --> 00:08:56,121
I don't know, a normal boy?
274
00:08:56,204 --> 00:08:58,428
I just can't believe that this Charlotte
275
00:08:58,511 --> 00:09:00,691
was the only serious
relationship he'd had
276
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,085
since my mother died and I had no idea!
277
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,086
Maybe he didn't tell you
278
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,275
because it wasn't actually that serious.
279
00:09:05,358 --> 00:09:08,324
Well, this box of pictures
and love letters says otherwise.
280
00:09:08,407 --> 00:09:09,834
Who's up for story time?
281
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,711
Oh, that seems like a terrible idea.
282
00:09:11,794 --> 00:09:13,965
They could be deeply personal
a-a-a-and she's reading them.
283
00:09:14,048 --> 00:09:15,488
"Albert, my stallion..."
284
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:16,650
We had very different grandpas.
285
00:09:16,733 --> 00:09:18,250
"Last night on the shuffleboard court,
286
00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:20,688
our bodies moved as one."
287
00:09:20,771 --> 00:09:22,115
That doesn't sound too serious.
288
00:09:22,198 --> 00:09:23,935
Just a couple of teammates
in an innocent game.
289
00:09:24,018 --> 00:09:27,103
"As the waves crashed over us,
the sea and sand
290
00:09:27,186 --> 00:09:29,444
filled what little space
there was between us."
291
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,360
Sand in the bathing trunks. So annoying.
292
00:09:32,443 --> 00:09:33,927
I'm with Charlotte on this one.
293
00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:37,365
"Also that thing with your
hands, how did you do that?"
294
00:09:37,448 --> 00:09:38,858
Fine. I'll admit that it was serious
295
00:09:38,941 --> 00:09:40,120
if you please stop reading.
296
00:09:40,203 --> 00:09:41,540
And then there's the pictures.
297
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:42,438
Close your eyes, Brea.
298
00:09:42,521 --> 00:09:43,856
- What?
- Just do it.
299
00:09:43,939 --> 00:09:45,223
Dancing on New Year's Eve,
300
00:09:45,306 --> 00:09:48,630
ice cream on the pier,
riding his scooter.
301
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,779
These all sound like
innocent photos, Adam.
302
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:50,813
Not worth the risk.
303
00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:52,510
Wait, his mobility scooter.
304
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,511
That's where it is.
305
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,392
That hussy stole it!
306
00:09:55,475 --> 00:09:56,222
Wild accusation.
307
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:57,768
But you seem to be off the photos.
308
00:09:57,851 --> 00:09:59,979
Oh, look.
A whole roll of hot tub photos.
309
00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:01,618
I don't think I like my graduation gift.
310
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,482
Who's taking these pictures?
311
00:10:04,702 --> 00:10:07,221
Erica had
heroically saved a choking man.
312
00:10:07,304 --> 00:10:09,832
Naturally, that meant my
brother needed his moment, too.
313
00:10:09,915 --> 00:10:12,084
Welcome, dear family.
314
00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:14,089
Thank you all for coming.
315
00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:17,623
Yesterday I didn't properly
celebrate my sister's heroism.
316
00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:21,000
So in her honor, I present this feast.
317
00:10:21,083 --> 00:10:21,928
Enjoy.
318
00:10:22,011 --> 00:10:23,804
Weird assortment of foods, Big Tasty.
319
00:10:23,887 --> 00:10:26,015
- I know.
- Gobstoppers, hot dogs,
320
00:10:26,098 --> 00:10:28,247
marshmallows, giant carrot pieces...
321
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:30,770
Um, are these by chance the foods
322
00:10:30,853 --> 00:10:32,647
one might be most likely to choke on?
323
00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:33,695
Oh, don't be silly.
324
00:10:33,778 --> 00:10:35,239
Now, who wants a genetically engineered
325
00:10:35,322 --> 00:10:36,287
extra-large table grape?
326
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:37,706
Barry, it really seems like
you're hoping
327
00:10:37,789 --> 00:10:39,267
one of your best friends starts choking.
328
00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:41,043
If it happens, no biggie. I'm here.
329
00:10:41,126 --> 00:10:43,904
Keep your keister parked,
guest of honor.
330
00:10:43,987 --> 00:10:45,932
- Andy, elephant grape?
- No, thanks.
331
00:10:46,015 --> 00:10:47,428
Is it because you have a baby mouth?
332
00:10:47,511 --> 00:10:49,069
I don't have a baby mouth.
333
00:10:49,152 --> 00:10:50,071
No, I just ate.
334
00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:51,822
Was it a jar of Gerber's pureed ham
335
00:10:51,905 --> 00:10:53,365
because of your
aforementioned baby mouth?
336
00:10:53,448 --> 00:10:54,738
No. And they puree ham?
337
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:55,781
They puree everything.
338
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,495
Ravioli, stew,
Texas Roadhouse prime rib.
339
00:10:58,578 --> 00:10:59,915
It's a great era to be a baby.
340
00:10:59,998 --> 00:11:01,412
Yeah, that seems way wrong.
341
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,446
What's way wrong is you're afraid
342
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:03,914
to eat these adult-sized fruit treats.
343
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,617
Dammit, I'll eat the dumb grape.
344
00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:06,630
Huh?
345
00:11:06,713 --> 00:11:08,283
Mmm-mmm.
346
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:09,830
- It's pretty good, actually.
- I know.
347
00:11:09,913 --> 00:11:10,807
- It's juicy.
- Oh.
348
00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:15,005
- Holy crap, it's happening.
- Bar, he just coughed.
349
00:11:15,088 --> 00:11:16,587
Your savior is here, little friend.
350
00:11:16,670 --> 00:11:17,554
Oh! My ribs!
351
00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:18,980
Barry, he can talk.
That means he's fine.
352
00:11:19,063 --> 00:11:20,674
His breathing is labored.
353
00:11:20,757 --> 00:11:21,800
Oh, please let me go!
354
00:11:21,883 --> 00:11:23,690
And life!
355
00:11:24,219 --> 00:11:26,889
You are forever in my debt.
356
00:11:26,972 --> 00:11:29,662
Your hands went way too low, bro.
357
00:11:29,745 --> 00:11:30,893
Way too low!
358
00:11:30,976 --> 00:11:32,012
Wow, I thought doctors
359
00:11:32,095 --> 00:11:33,526
are supposed to make people feel better.
360
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,615
Face it, you're not the healer I am.
361
00:11:35,698 --> 00:11:38,067
I'm more concerned
that my patient is alive.
362
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,068
Alive? Barely!
363
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:42,883
While Barry
learned a lesson about himself,
364
00:11:42,966 --> 00:11:45,190
my mom knew I was the easiest way
365
00:11:45,273 --> 00:11:47,334
to get what she wanted from Pops' ex.
366
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,396
I'm really not sure about this.
367
00:11:49,479 --> 00:11:52,050
This is our best chance we
have to get that scooter back.
368
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,333
No woman can say no
to your deliciousness.
369
00:11:54,416 --> 00:11:55,304
Am I right?
370
00:11:55,387 --> 00:11:56,418
I feel like a piece of meat.
371
00:11:56,501 --> 00:11:57,849
Hey, the sooner we get the scooter back,
372
00:11:57,932 --> 00:11:59,062
the sooner we can get to the beach.
373
00:11:59,145 --> 00:12:01,330
Now, let's see how you look
in my tank top.
374
00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:03,485
Mama's little muscle man!
375
00:12:04,787 --> 00:12:06,398
You're on. Sparkle.
376
00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:09,956
Oh, hi, Adam.
377
00:12:10,039 --> 00:12:11,203
Hiya.
378
00:12:11,286 --> 00:12:12,476
Can you chat for a minute?
379
00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,353
Anything for Albert's boy.
380
00:12:14,436 --> 00:12:16,028
Pops' scooter is missing,
381
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,163
and I'm pretty sure that you've got it.
382
00:12:18,246 --> 00:12:21,487
And if I can get it back,
that'd be great.
383
00:12:21,570 --> 00:12:25,114
Honestly, I don't recall
Albert owning a scooter.
384
00:12:25,197 --> 00:12:27,537
But my memory isn't what it used to be.
385
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:30,017
Okay, we are not gonna fall
386
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,134
for your doddering old lady routine.
387
00:12:32,217 --> 00:12:33,543
Of course you're behind this.
388
00:12:33,626 --> 00:12:35,595
Albert said that you could be difficult.
389
00:12:35,678 --> 00:12:37,317
Oh, do you know
what he told me about you?
390
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,497
Nothing!
391
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:39,505
So maybe your relationship
392
00:12:39,588 --> 00:12:41,638
was more important to you
than it was to him.
393
00:12:41,721 --> 00:12:44,198
Or maybe you weren't
as close with your father
394
00:12:44,281 --> 00:12:45,488
as you thought you were.
395
00:12:45,571 --> 00:12:47,052
Well, I never.
396
00:12:47,135 --> 00:12:48,428
Well, I always.
397
00:12:48,511 --> 00:12:49,888
With your father.
398
00:12:51,414 --> 00:12:52,916
We're getting that scooter back.
399
00:12:53,471 --> 00:12:56,435
Can't get back what I don't have!
400
00:12:56,518 --> 00:12:58,324
As Charlotte
threw that in my mom's face,
401
00:12:58,407 --> 00:12:59,651
it was time for Barry to face
402
00:12:59,734 --> 00:13:01,881
that Erica was gonna get
her Golden Tray.
403
00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:04,486
I can't believe my dumb sister
is Food Court Hero of the Year.
404
00:13:04,569 --> 00:13:06,440
I can't believe there is
a Food Court Hero of the Year.
405
00:13:06,523 --> 00:13:08,282
It is a weirdly specific honor.
406
00:13:08,365 --> 00:13:11,598
And Erica got a perfect score
on the LSAT?
407
00:13:11,681 --> 00:13:13,342
She's such a terrible test-taker.
408
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:15,324
Yep, she nailed it alright.
Got a hundred.
409
00:13:15,407 --> 00:13:17,456
Wait, Are you saying
she scored 100 points?
410
00:13:17,539 --> 00:13:19,023
Uh, yes, Barry,
411
00:13:19,106 --> 00:13:21,460
that's what a perfect score is. 100.
412
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:24,673
A perfect score on the LSAT is 48.
413
00:13:24,756 --> 00:13:26,841
No, it's not. Right, guys?
414
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,511
Dammit. Please don't
tell her I said she bombed.
415
00:13:29,594 --> 00:13:32,239
I didn't know she bombed until
right this moment, Geoffrey.
416
00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:33,340
Oh, no!
417
00:13:34,123 --> 00:13:35,648
Oh, hey, can you back up?
418
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,389
The ring of honor is for heroes only.
419
00:13:37,472 --> 00:13:40,179
Is it also for people
who bomb their LSAT?
420
00:13:40,262 --> 00:13:41,132
You're so pretty!
421
00:13:41,215 --> 00:13:42,364
Do you remember when
I was saying that earlier?
422
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,800
- You're so pretty.
- That's okay, Erica.
423
00:13:44,883 --> 00:13:46,475
Lying's not against the law.
424
00:13:46,558 --> 00:13:48,332
Or is it? You wouldn't know.
425
00:13:48,415 --> 00:13:50,840
Whatever. You've wanted to be
a doctor your entire life,
426
00:13:50,923 --> 00:13:52,712
but now you know that
you don't have what it takes.
427
00:13:52,795 --> 00:13:54,650
And I have a Golden Tray to prove it.
428
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,921
Attention, everyone. We're
canceling today's ceremony.
429
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,966
Unfortunately,
the man who was saved just passed away.
430
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:02,487
It gets better and better.
431
00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:03,824
Wait, we can still have the ceremony.
432
00:14:03,907 --> 00:14:05,565
I gave that geezer
one more week of life.
433
00:14:05,648 --> 00:14:07,806
Unless your sloppy Heimlich
is what killed him.
434
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:11,765
Too much force, maybe a rib
punctured his lung, it happens.
435
00:14:11,848 --> 00:14:13,452
I think I heard "hit by bus."
436
00:14:13,535 --> 00:14:14,155
Ah.
437
00:14:14,238 --> 00:14:15,611
I want my Golden Tray.
438
00:14:15,694 --> 00:14:16,758
That seems in poor taste.
439
00:14:16,841 --> 00:14:17,494
- Give it.
- Oh.
440
00:14:17,577 --> 00:14:19,179
He said it's not yours!
441
00:14:19,262 --> 00:14:20,610
You know it's painted plastic?
442
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,176
- Give me that tray!
- I earned it!
443
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:24,178
Okay, enough. I've known you two forever
444
00:14:24,261 --> 00:14:25,725
and you're still doing this crap?
445
00:14:25,808 --> 00:14:27,141
Kicking each other when you're down?
446
00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:29,173
How about supporting
each other for once?
447
00:14:29,256 --> 00:14:30,477
I'm so sick of it.
448
00:14:31,842 --> 00:14:33,022
Why did we come here?
449
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,201
Our lives are too small.
450
00:14:34,284 --> 00:14:35,358
So much to examine.
451
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,571
As Barry and Erica
realized Geoff had a point,
452
00:14:37,654 --> 00:14:40,017
all signs pointed to Brea and I
453
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,864
getting the spring break
we were promised.
454
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,344
I can't believe we're
finally going to the beach.
455
00:14:43,427 --> 00:14:44,737
It'll be worth the wait.
456
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:45,999
I bet the stars will look beautiful.
457
00:14:46,082 --> 00:14:47,747
'- Mm.
- Not as beautiful as you, of course.
458
00:14:47,830 --> 00:14:48,967
Aww.
459
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:50,238
What the hell, woman?!
460
00:14:50,321 --> 00:14:51,874
So in the dark you couldn't see me.
461
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:53,485
What are you up to now?
462
00:14:53,568 --> 00:14:54,877
Stealing back my father's scooter
463
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,140
under the cover of night.
464
00:14:56,223 --> 00:14:57,489
But what if you get caught?
465
00:14:57,572 --> 00:14:59,567
The condo security folks
are weirdly intense.
466
00:15:00,618 --> 00:15:02,635
I'll just hide in the ocean, Adam.
467
00:15:02,718 --> 00:15:03,694
It's right there.
468
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,019
Brea, I think
I need to keep an eye on this.
469
00:15:06,102 --> 00:15:08,136
Let's just get changed.
470
00:15:08,219 --> 00:15:12,069
And so began the
dumbest caper in the history of capers.
471
00:15:12,152 --> 00:15:14,419
We snuck down there, then over that way,
472
00:15:14,502 --> 00:15:16,769
got super lost, and went back.
473
00:15:16,852 --> 00:15:19,728
We even did this thing for some reason.
474
00:15:19,811 --> 00:15:21,687
And, finally, next to
475
00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:23,216
the clearly marked
"scooter parking" sign,
476
00:15:23,299 --> 00:15:25,256
it was, hello, Pops' scooter.
477
00:15:25,339 --> 00:15:27,798
Turns out, our strange night
of creeping around with my mom
478
00:15:27,881 --> 00:15:28,911
was a success...
479
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:30,304
Until we were easily caught.
480
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:31,376
Hold it right there.
481
00:15:31,459 --> 00:15:32,915
It's the fuzz! Johnny Law!
482
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:34,433
Smokey! The Blue Meanies!
483
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:35,886
- Adam.
- I'm panicking.
484
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,920
I've never been held
at flashpoint before.
485
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,547
That's my scooter they're taking.
486
00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:40,923
This isn't yours.
487
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,925
I can tell by the bumper sticker.
488
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:44,709
"I Scooty for the Booty."
489
00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:47,319
It's suggestive in all the right ways.
490
00:15:47,402 --> 00:15:49,041
- Is it?
- You know, come to think of it,
491
00:15:49,124 --> 00:15:52,756
my dad had a Jolly Roger flag
on the back of his scooter.
492
00:15:52,839 --> 00:15:54,454
He was a scamp.
493
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,760
Well, I didn't have to use
my defibrillator,
494
00:15:56,843 --> 00:15:58,520
so I'mma chalk this up as a win.
495
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:02,478
Mom, it's officially time
to let the scooter go.
496
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:04,248
This isn't about the scooter.
497
00:16:04,851 --> 00:16:07,806
He clearly loved her,
and I never knew about it.
498
00:16:09,347 --> 00:16:11,448
I thought we were close, but now...
499
00:16:12,408 --> 00:16:13,534
I don't know.
500
00:16:18,426 --> 00:16:20,077
After unpacking her true feelings,
501
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,809
my mom was back to packing up
Pops' stuff.
502
00:16:22,892 --> 00:16:24,716
Okay, we're finally off
to catch some rays
503
00:16:24,799 --> 00:16:25,726
and splash in the surf.
504
00:16:25,809 --> 00:16:27,388
Have fun. But be careful, though.
505
00:16:27,471 --> 00:16:30,022
I heard on the radio they found
a dead great white on the beach.
506
00:16:30,105 --> 00:16:31,607
Apparently, it was killed by a bunch
507
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,649
of very territorial sea snakes.
508
00:16:33,732 --> 00:16:35,350
There are sea snakes?
509
00:16:37,282 --> 00:16:38,949
The Jolly Roger.
510
00:16:42,825 --> 00:16:44,571
We are never gonna touch sand, are we?
511
00:16:44,654 --> 00:16:45,668
No, we are not.
512
00:16:46,162 --> 00:16:48,252
Bring back my dad's scooter!
513
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:50,777
But that wasn't happening,
514
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:54,111
so my mom took off on a thrilling,
high-octane chase
515
00:16:54,194 --> 00:16:56,062
that was neither thrilling
nor high-octane.
516
00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,049
Going somewhere?
517
00:16:57,132 --> 00:16:58,455
Oh, hi, hi.
518
00:16:58,538 --> 00:16:59,900
Ma'am, can we borrow your scooter?
519
00:16:59,983 --> 00:17:02,323
And in return, my son can read to you.
520
00:17:02,406 --> 00:17:05,142
- What?!
- I like stories about Germans.
521
00:17:06,163 --> 00:17:08,019
Thank you.
522
00:17:11,522 --> 00:17:12,390
Coming through.
523
00:17:12,473 --> 00:17:13,957
It's an emergency.
524
00:17:36,712 --> 00:17:38,169
- Oh, my God!
- Are you two okay?
525
00:17:38,252 --> 00:17:39,629
I'll be fine.
526
00:17:39,712 --> 00:17:41,376
In jail. For grand theft scooter.
527
00:17:41,459 --> 00:17:43,508
Beverly, I know it sounds silly,
528
00:17:43,591 --> 00:17:46,719
but this damn scooter
actually meant something to me.
529
00:17:46,802 --> 00:17:47,962
Oh, no.
530
00:17:48,045 --> 00:17:50,432
I am the one who deserves to be upset.
531
00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:52,735
Because I was the one kept in the dark.
532
00:17:52,818 --> 00:17:54,939
'Cause for some reason,
he never wanted me to meet you.
533
00:17:55,022 --> 00:17:56,814
Well, how do you think
that made me feel?
534
00:17:56,897 --> 00:17:59,404
I asked Albert a million times
if we could meet,
535
00:17:59,487 --> 00:18:00,529
and he kept saying, "Soon."
536
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:03,909
And now he's gone
and this is how we meet.
537
00:18:03,992 --> 00:18:06,289
Keep the damn scooter.
538
00:18:06,372 --> 00:18:08,539
As my mom wrecked everything,
539
00:18:08,622 --> 00:18:10,622
Barry and Erica were putting
the pieces back together.
540
00:18:10,705 --> 00:18:13,329
Hey, can we talk for a sec?
541
00:18:13,412 --> 00:18:14,539
Whatever.
542
00:18:14,622 --> 00:18:16,129
We just want to thank you.
543
00:18:16,212 --> 00:18:18,311
What? Why?
544
00:18:18,394 --> 00:18:20,477
You called us out on all our B.S.
545
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,758
And it's what we needed.
546
00:18:21,841 --> 00:18:23,135
My sister's pretty awesome,
547
00:18:23,218 --> 00:18:24,467
and it makes me insecure.
548
00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:27,097
Like worrying maybe
I won't make it as a doctor.
549
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:29,391
And even though he's a giant goofball,
550
00:18:29,474 --> 00:18:31,184
sometimes I feel the same way.
551
00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:32,754
I lash out at him when, really,
552
00:18:32,837 --> 00:18:34,047
I should be going to him for help.
553
00:18:34,608 --> 00:18:36,114
I'm gonna help her study for the LSAT.
554
00:18:36,855 --> 00:18:39,226
Yeah, I kinda blew off
studying because I was scared
555
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:41,178
that if I tried,
I still wouldn't do well.
556
00:18:41,261 --> 00:18:43,176
Yeah, but we know that's not true.
557
00:18:43,259 --> 00:18:44,848
I'm gonna help her crush that test.
558
00:18:44,931 --> 00:18:46,848
This is great.
559
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,185
It's all I ever wanted.
560
00:18:48,268 --> 00:18:50,604
Well, here's something else.
561
00:18:52,262 --> 00:18:53,546
For your courageous work
562
00:18:53,629 --> 00:18:55,673
above and beyond the call of duty.
563
00:18:55,756 --> 00:18:57,675
You're our hero, Geoffrey Schwartz.
564
00:18:57,758 --> 00:18:59,347
This is so thoughtful.
565
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:00,848
I, of course, need to return this
566
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,099
because it's stolen property, but...
567
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,001
- Of course.
- We gave you a chore.
568
00:19:04,084 --> 00:19:06,211
With Geoff's help, Erica and Barry
569
00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:08,773
realized they didn't need to be rivals.
570
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,635
Now I wanted to do the same
for my mom and Charlotte.
571
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,303
Oh... It's you.
572
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:16,263
Adam said he wanted to talk
to us together.
573
00:19:19,182 --> 00:19:22,584
Pops used to say, "Nobody's perfect.
574
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,309
"But that doesn't mean we
should ever stop trying to be."
575
00:19:25,392 --> 00:19:28,461
And I think when it came
to dealing with you two...
576
00:19:29,192 --> 00:19:31,859
Well, he finally proved
that he wasn't perfect either.
577
00:19:31,942 --> 00:19:35,098
Even though he was as close
as anyone could be.
578
00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:40,148
He should've introduced you guys.
579
00:19:40,231 --> 00:19:43,410
It might've been hard, but
I know it would've worked out.
580
00:19:44,025 --> 00:19:45,577
And now that you're both here,
581
00:19:46,837 --> 00:19:49,243
maybe you can do what he couldn't.
582
00:19:51,821 --> 00:19:54,029
Why don't you and Brea
head to the beach?
583
00:19:54,112 --> 00:19:57,266
Charlotte and I could use some
time to get to know each other.
584
00:19:57,349 --> 00:19:59,561
If that's okay with you.
585
00:19:59,644 --> 00:20:01,341
I would like that.
586
00:20:01,858 --> 00:20:04,542
And, Adam, thank you.
587
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:08,174
You remind me more and more
of him every day.
588
00:20:09,863 --> 00:20:11,917
It's strange
the things we can be afraid of.
589
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,415
Or how our own family might react
590
00:20:14,498 --> 00:20:16,253
when we admit that we need them.
591
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:19,913
But in the end, it almost
always turns out better
592
00:20:19,996 --> 00:20:21,008
than we fear.
593
00:20:21,749 --> 00:20:25,533
And by being open and honest,
our lives get a little richer.
594
00:20:28,016 --> 00:20:29,622
Because we share them
with the people we love.
595
00:20:33,638 --> 00:20:36,660
I think it's important we all
master the Heimlich maneuver.
596
00:20:36,743 --> 00:20:38,038
That's actually not a bad idea.
597
00:20:38,121 --> 00:20:39,081
Saving lives. Sign me up.
598
00:20:39,164 --> 00:20:40,499
Totally. Where do we start?
599
00:20:40,582 --> 00:20:41,243
With you.
600
00:20:41,326 --> 00:20:43,131
- You're gonna be our dummy.
- Wait, what?
601
00:20:43,214 --> 00:20:45,137
Harder thrusts, Geoff. Harder.
602
00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:47,356
There ya go, that looks kinda right.
603
00:20:47,439 --> 00:20:49,410
It's way wrong,
but I love that commitment.
604
00:20:49,493 --> 00:20:50,670
Yeah!
605
00:20:50,753 --> 00:20:51,896
At least it's all over
606
00:20:51,979 --> 00:20:53,472
and we're all more
knowledgeable about medicine.
607
00:20:53,555 --> 00:20:54,998
Nah, if anything,
608
00:20:55,081 --> 00:20:56,223
we went backwards.
609
00:20:56,306 --> 00:20:57,050
Going again.
610
00:20:58,059 --> 00:20:59,685
Catch him before he gets to the door.
44585
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