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1
00:00:00,430 --> 00:00:02,537
Back in the '80s,
everyone was getting physical.
2
00:00:02,547 --> 00:00:04,705
Walks were powered, bodies were Jaked,
3
00:00:04,715 --> 00:00:07,753
and Richard Simmons made sure
oldies were sweated to.
4
00:00:07,763 --> 00:00:10,966
No one liked moving their body
more than my mom.
5
00:00:11,222 --> 00:00:13,759
Thank you, Richard Simmons.
6
00:00:13,769 --> 00:00:16,036
Your naggy nudginess continues
7
00:00:16,046 --> 00:00:17,618
to challenge and inspire.
8
00:00:17,628 --> 00:00:20,466
Is it weird that it's his job
to constantly work out,
9
00:00:20,476 --> 00:00:22,679
but yet his body looks like
mine after Thanksgiving?
10
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,827
He is ripped and shredded
with enthusiasm.
11
00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:27,403
You're just defending him because you
12
00:00:27,413 --> 00:00:29,235
share the same tank-top glitter-er.
13
00:00:29,245 --> 00:00:32,319
I wish. All my sparkle
comes from these hands.
14
00:00:32,329 --> 00:00:33,969
And that smile.
15
00:00:33,979 --> 00:00:36,348
I have an adult friend!
16
00:00:36,358 --> 00:00:38,273
Who's ready for the best
news in the world?
17
00:00:38,283 --> 00:00:39,651
Did Giuseppe's change their policy
18
00:00:39,661 --> 00:00:41,197
and are now accepting parties of one?
19
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,743
New Year's Eve, here I come.
20
00:00:42,753 --> 00:00:43,804
No, and wow.
21
00:00:43,814 --> 00:00:45,613
The actual good news
is that P.E. was canceled
22
00:00:45,623 --> 00:00:47,226
for the rest of senior year.
23
00:00:47,236 --> 00:00:48,993
We would high-five,
but that would require
24
00:00:49,003 --> 00:00:51,924
a level of dexterity we're no longer
interested in achieving.
25
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:53,967
Squishy, you need to continue to mold
26
00:00:53,977 --> 00:00:55,847
your perfectly formed child's body
27
00:00:55,857 --> 00:00:58,154
into the sculpted adult statue
28
00:00:58,164 --> 00:00:59,895
it's destined to become!
29
00:00:59,905 --> 00:01:01,296
No, no, no, I don't!
30
00:01:01,306 --> 00:01:03,109
Coach Mellor popped a massive hernia
31
00:01:03,119 --> 00:01:04,721
lifting the front end
of a Pontiac Sunbird.
32
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,043
Was he trying to save a child?
33
00:01:06,053 --> 00:01:07,784
Apparently, he was trying
to impress a child.
34
00:01:07,794 --> 00:01:09,548
- Been there.
- The giant hole in his insides
35
00:01:09,558 --> 00:01:10,995
means he's out
for the rest of the year,
36
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,303
and Principal Ball decided
it's not worth replacing him.
37
00:01:13,313 --> 00:01:15,988
So P.E. has turned into rest hour.
38
00:01:15,998 --> 00:01:17,612
No pain, much gain!
39
00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:19,393
Principal Ball made
that kind of decision
40
00:01:19,403 --> 00:01:20,748
without consulting me?
41
00:01:20,758 --> 00:01:21,994
I'm his right hand.
42
00:01:22,004 --> 00:01:23,862
I'm the Hooch to his Turner.
43
00:01:23,872 --> 00:01:25,708
This is wholly unacceptable.
44
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,621
And yet, we're all accepting it
without reflection.
45
00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:30,245
At the holiday party, Principal Ball
46
00:01:30,255 --> 00:01:32,493
told me that he valued my input.
47
00:01:32,503 --> 00:01:33,871
But then he called me Dennis.
48
00:01:33,881 --> 00:01:35,067
No child of mine
49
00:01:35,077 --> 00:01:37,485
is gonna sit around
and become a lazy lump.
50
00:01:37,495 --> 00:01:39,034
Don't bother. He's pretty dug in.
51
00:01:39,044 --> 00:01:41,117
- He tried to make me carry him home.
- No.
52
00:01:41,127 --> 00:01:44,242
I asked you to pull me home in a red
wagon.
53
00:01:44,252 --> 00:01:45,686
Your version makes me look bad.
54
00:01:45,696 --> 00:01:48,400
I'm always pestering Ball
every waking hour
55
00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:49,746
to keep me involved.
56
00:01:49,962 --> 00:01:51,596
Is it possible he's not
responding to that?
57
00:01:51,770 --> 00:01:54,607
Exercise is the heartbeat
of the Goldberg family!
58
00:01:54,617 --> 00:01:57,389
Please, Dad stops and sits
on the way from the couch
59
00:01:57,399 --> 00:01:59,168
to the fridge to break up the trip.
60
00:01:59,178 --> 00:02:02,023
You are not gonna become
your dear but inert father.
61
00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:03,702
John, cue Richard.
62
00:02:03,712 --> 00:02:06,715
You're needed again,
tireless curly-haired oddball.
63
00:02:06,972 --> 00:02:09,264
Left, left and right.
Nope, not gonna happen.
64
00:02:09,274 --> 00:02:11,077
Gaah! Leave me alone!
65
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,400
We're moving! Dave Kim, look away!
66
00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:13,579
Not a chance.
67
00:02:13,589 --> 00:02:15,868
No hustle, no muscle! Knees up!
68
00:02:15,878 --> 00:02:16,988
Whoo!
69
00:02:29,776 --> 00:02:31,897
It was April 13th, 1980-something,
70
00:02:31,907 --> 00:02:33,609
and Barry was on top of the world,
71
00:02:33,619 --> 00:02:35,800
as was his best friend
and new brother-in-law, Geoff.
72
00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:37,492
There's my bro!
73
00:02:37,502 --> 00:02:38,670
There's my bro!
74
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,625
Isn't it so cool now that
I'm married to your sister,
75
00:02:40,635 --> 00:02:42,165
when I call you "bro,"
it's, like, a fact?
76
00:02:42,175 --> 00:02:44,199
Totally! I used to toss around "bro"
77
00:02:44,209 --> 00:02:45,377
like it meant nothing.
78
00:02:45,387 --> 00:02:46,588
Like when someone gets mad at you
79
00:02:46,598 --> 00:02:47,800
for cutting them off in traffic,
80
00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:49,504
"Enh! The hell, bro?"
81
00:02:49,514 --> 00:02:51,550
Or like when it's a guy you kinda know,
82
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,197
even slept at his house once as a kid,
83
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,643
but you can't remember
if his name is Greg or Craig?
84
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,912
- "Hey, bro!"
- No more.
85
00:02:57,922 --> 00:03:00,471
I hereby declare "bro" a sacred term
86
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:01,918
reserved for our special brotherhood.
87
00:03:01,928 --> 00:03:03,543
And I will always honor that, bro.
88
00:03:03,553 --> 00:03:05,456
Unless I run into Greg/Craig.
89
00:03:05,466 --> 00:03:07,588
His dad lent me boxers
to sleep in once.
90
00:03:07,598 --> 00:03:09,057
I remember his name was Dwayne.
91
00:03:09,067 --> 00:03:10,736
I'd love to keep bro'ing it up,
but I got a thing.
92
00:03:10,746 --> 00:03:12,037
I got a thing, too, bro!
93
00:03:12,047 --> 00:03:14,295
- Bro you later?
- Later, bro.
94
00:03:14,305 --> 00:03:15,965
- Wait. Are you going left here?
- Sure am.
95
00:03:15,975 --> 00:03:17,143
Huh. Me too!
96
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,486
But the same direction
97
00:03:18,496 --> 00:03:20,479
wasn't all these bros had in common.
98
00:03:20,489 --> 00:03:21,955
Suite 510?
99
00:03:22,417 --> 00:03:24,705
Wait. Barry, you weren't selected
100
00:03:24,715 --> 00:03:25,998
as a finalist for an internship
101
00:03:26,008 --> 00:03:28,076
with renowned surgeon
Dr. Andrew Solit, were you?
102
00:03:28,086 --> 00:03:29,098
How'd you guess?
103
00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:31,030
- Brothers know.
- Brothers do know.
104
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,970
A summer with Dr. Solit
would look amazing
105
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,026
on a medical-school app.
106
00:03:34,036 --> 00:03:35,138
I heard last year's interns
107
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,551
all got into their first choice,
108
00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:37,696
except one guy who got caught
109
00:03:37,706 --> 00:03:39,325
switching out urine samples
with his own.
110
00:03:39,335 --> 00:03:41,445
- What's the thrill there?
- Coupla bros going
111
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:42,601
for the same internship.
112
00:03:42,611 --> 00:03:44,754
Well, if you think about it,
bro, it's...
113
00:03:44,764 --> 00:03:46,361
Great. So great... bro.
114
00:03:46,371 --> 00:03:47,773
This is so not great.
115
00:03:47,783 --> 00:03:49,630
Barry and I applied
for the same internship.
116
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,510
So? You'll definitely get it.
117
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,633
Why do you assume that?
118
00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:53,972
I love my brother,
119
00:03:53,982 --> 00:03:55,861
but you have better grades,
120
00:03:55,871 --> 00:03:57,275
you're more responsible,
121
00:03:57,285 --> 00:03:58,950
personable, and you're super cute.
122
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,218
- You really think it's mine?
- I know it, babe.
123
00:04:01,228 --> 00:04:04,097
Look, I love my brother,
but you're smarter,
124
00:04:04,107 --> 00:04:06,550
way more passionate and alpha.
125
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,028
Plus, you're smoking hot in
a way that sneaks up on you.
126
00:04:09,038 --> 00:04:10,269
I do sneak up on you.
127
00:04:10,279 --> 00:04:12,030
- Although...
- Although, what?
128
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,906
Barry's crazy competitive.
129
00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:16,023
There's no way he could handle
losing to you.
130
00:04:16,033 --> 00:04:17,669
But Geoff is so...
131
00:04:17,679 --> 00:04:18,907
Sensitive. Like,
132
00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:20,361
emotionally fragile in a way
133
00:04:20,371 --> 00:04:22,736
that's always alarmed our parents,
neighbors, and rabbi.
134
00:04:22,746 --> 00:04:25,817
If I won, it'd be like the pudding
incident all over again.
135
00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:27,027
We were freshmen.
136
00:04:27,037 --> 00:04:29,315
There was one pudding left
in the cafeteria,
137
00:04:29,325 --> 00:04:30,804
and we both reached for it
at the same time,
138
00:04:30,814 --> 00:04:33,119
and, knowing how he'd react,
I let him have it.
139
00:04:33,129 --> 00:04:34,460
I took what was mine.
140
00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:36,297
With an air of emotional
and physical recklessness
141
00:04:36,307 --> 00:04:37,512
that he couldn't deal with.
142
00:04:37,522 --> 00:04:39,258
Oh, baby, no one can.
143
00:04:39,268 --> 00:04:41,105
He then accuses me of being selfish
144
00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,106
'cause I brought my lunch
and he forgot his.
145
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,578
He didn't talk to me for days.
146
00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:46,387
Lunch has always been
Barry's favorite meal.
147
00:04:46,397 --> 00:04:48,022
Right after breakfast, dinner,
148
00:04:48,032 --> 00:04:49,668
and something he calls
"midnight madness."
149
00:04:49,678 --> 00:04:51,192
Maybe things would be different now.
150
00:04:51,202 --> 00:04:52,793
'Cause we're brothers.
151
00:04:52,803 --> 00:04:54,072
Like, real brothers.
152
00:04:54,082 --> 00:04:56,581
It's by marriage, which
is meaningless, but...
153
00:04:56,591 --> 00:04:57,683
a bro is a bro.
154
00:04:57,693 --> 00:05:00,429
He's lived in your jacked
shadow your whole lives.
155
00:05:00,711 --> 00:05:02,348
Maybe there's another
internship out there.
156
00:05:02,358 --> 00:05:04,038
There's gotta be another summer gig.
157
00:05:04,048 --> 00:05:05,108
You're right.
158
00:05:05,118 --> 00:05:06,695
I wouldn't wanna hurt Barry
for anything.
159
00:05:06,705 --> 00:05:07,994
It's the right thing to do.
160
00:05:08,004 --> 00:05:09,009
For family.
161
00:05:09,019 --> 00:05:10,810
- It's what you do for family.
- Proud of you, babe.
162
00:05:10,820 --> 00:05:12,557
I'm so proud of you, hon.
163
00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:14,337
Let's celebrate with you
giving me a foot rub.
164
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:15,781
As Geoff and Barry made their minds up
165
00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:17,018
about the summer internship,
166
00:05:17,028 --> 00:05:18,364
my mom was determined
167
00:05:18,374 --> 00:05:21,096
not to take the cancellation
of P.E. sitting down.
168
00:05:21,106 --> 00:05:22,207
How could you, Earl?
169
00:05:22,217 --> 00:05:23,786
This isn't some silly thing
170
00:05:23,796 --> 00:05:25,690
that they're never gonna use
like Spanish.
171
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,728
This is physical education!
172
00:05:27,738 --> 00:05:30,194
Oh. A meeting with a concerned parent.
173
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:31,963
Was this on the books or impromptu?
174
00:05:31,973 --> 00:05:33,848
Either way, I'm here. We can begin.
175
00:05:33,858 --> 00:05:35,057
We've already begun.
176
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:37,190
Mrs. Goldberg wants us to rethink
177
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,474
the decision to pull the plug on P.E.
178
00:05:39,484 --> 00:05:40,669
I'll handle this.
179
00:05:40,679 --> 00:05:42,298
Beverly, I'm so sorry.
180
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:44,661
Our personal relationship
notwithstanding,
181
00:05:44,671 --> 00:05:46,439
that ain't gon' happen.
182
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:48,627
See, you can delegate to me.
183
00:05:48,637 --> 00:05:51,219
A-And she's twisting my arm! Literally!
184
00:05:51,229 --> 00:05:52,813
Earl, as Quaker Warden,
185
00:05:52,823 --> 00:05:54,359
I feel a sense of responsibility
186
00:05:54,369 --> 00:05:55,967
to send these kids out into the world
187
00:05:55,977 --> 00:05:57,346
with healthy habits for life.
188
00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:59,658
That's all great and weird,
189
00:05:59,841 --> 00:06:02,303
but we got no P.E. teacher here.
190
00:06:02,313 --> 00:06:05,294
Then I will personally teach
an exercise class.
191
00:06:05,304 --> 00:06:07,406
- You?
- I was gonna say, "You?"
192
00:06:07,712 --> 00:06:09,541
Based on my relentless input,
193
00:06:09,551 --> 00:06:12,454
Aubrey, who teaches over at
Jenkintown Shape 'n' Sculpt,
194
00:06:12,626 --> 00:06:13,735
has often asked,
195
00:06:13,745 --> 00:06:16,577
"Uh, Beverly, would
you like to lead the class?"
196
00:06:16,587 --> 00:06:19,591
Um, Beverly, it's sadly naive of you
197
00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:21,036
to think that you can
just saunter in here
198
00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:22,517
and appoint yourself to teach P.E.
199
00:06:22,527 --> 00:06:23,651
You know what, Bev?
200
00:06:23,661 --> 00:06:25,897
You've worn me down. Go for it.
201
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:28,244
On the other hand,
we'll allow it just this once.
202
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:32,059
I'm gonna teach Jazzercise
to the lazy seniors. Whoo!
203
00:06:32,069 --> 00:06:34,694
The only problem
was, my mom had no idea
204
00:06:34,704 --> 00:06:36,507
just how lazy we'd become.
205
00:06:36,517 --> 00:06:38,190
I never thought P.E. was a class
206
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,618
I'd actually look forward to.
207
00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:40,646
I know.
208
00:06:40,656 --> 00:06:42,970
I finally found a good use
for a badminton racket.
209
00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:44,602
Ahh.
210
00:06:44,915 --> 00:06:46,274
This is why we take the field.
211
00:06:46,284 --> 00:06:47,953
Who's ready to get physical?
212
00:06:47,963 --> 00:06:49,020
Whoo!
213
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:50,396
Oh, balls.
214
00:06:50,406 --> 00:06:51,756
Goldberg, why does your mom look like
215
00:06:51,766 --> 00:06:53,681
Liza Minnelli ready to take a jog?
216
00:06:53,691 --> 00:06:55,060
Mother, a word?
217
00:06:55,070 --> 00:06:57,207
Schmoo, I told you I was gonna
make you move your body.
218
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,719
She did say that back at home.
219
00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:01,722
We have a personal friendship
outside of these walls.
220
00:07:01,732 --> 00:07:04,370
Anyway, I'm your new P.E. teacher. Yay!
221
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,604
Are you kidding me?
222
00:07:05,614 --> 00:07:07,417
I only have five weeks left in school,
223
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,664
and my social runway's cleared
for a smooth landing.
224
00:07:09,674 --> 00:07:10,765
And now this?
225
00:07:10,775 --> 00:07:12,177
I just think it's important
226
00:07:12,187 --> 00:07:14,186
that children remain active.
227
00:07:14,196 --> 00:07:15,732
Well, I'm not doing it.
228
00:07:15,742 --> 00:07:17,705
Okay. Well, then you're not
gonna get your P.E. credit,
229
00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:19,385
and you're not gonna graduate.
230
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,431
Fine. I'll give up
all my hopes and dreams
231
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,918
before I let my demented mother
232
00:07:22,928 --> 00:07:24,845
make me Jazzercise with my friends.
233
00:07:24,855 --> 00:07:27,748
Actually, I'm gonna call it
"School-ercise."
234
00:07:27,758 --> 00:07:30,236
I don't care what it's called. I'm out.
235
00:07:30,246 --> 00:07:32,798
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go lay down
236
00:07:32,808 --> 00:07:35,179
in the hammock I made out of
jump ropes and Nerf balls.
237
00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:37,015
- I guess it's over.
- Oh,
238
00:07:37,025 --> 00:07:40,419
it is far from over.
239
00:07:40,429 --> 00:07:43,174
That's too ominous for a school
setting involving children,
240
00:07:43,184 --> 00:07:45,153
but, hey, I'm along for the ride.
241
00:07:45,163 --> 00:07:47,465
While my mom wasn't
gonna go down without a fight,
242
00:07:47,649 --> 00:07:49,803
Geoff was prepared
to give up his internship
243
00:07:49,813 --> 00:07:50,882
to his number-one bro.
244
00:07:50,892 --> 00:07:52,928
Yo, Brobi-Wan Kenobi.
245
00:07:52,938 --> 00:07:55,319
My man Dominique Bro-ilkins.
246
00:07:55,329 --> 00:07:57,144
Some work better than others.
247
00:07:57,154 --> 00:07:58,557
So, look, I've been thinking.
248
00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:00,681
About that internship with Dr. Solit?
249
00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:02,016
I don't think I'm gonna do it.
250
00:08:02,026 --> 00:08:04,029
Me neither. You've got to.
You're a shoo-in.
251
00:08:04,039 --> 00:08:06,326
If anyone's shoes are in, it's you.
252
00:08:06,336 --> 00:08:07,604
That's not the expression.
253
00:08:07,614 --> 00:08:09,432
Barry, there's no way
I could go for this thing
254
00:08:09,442 --> 00:08:10,744
knowing that you're up for it, too.
255
00:08:10,754 --> 00:08:12,693
There's no way I can go for it
knowing you are.
256
00:08:12,703 --> 00:08:13,928
- Aww.
- So much aww.
257
00:08:13,938 --> 00:08:16,274
So, what're we saying?
That I should do it?
258
00:08:16,284 --> 00:08:17,548
- Do it up.
- Totally. By "do it up,"
259
00:08:17,558 --> 00:08:18,855
does that mean backing out
260
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:19,978
or not backing out?
261
00:08:19,988 --> 00:08:21,791
It's backing out of backing out.
262
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:24,105
And I insist, because now
the path is clear.
263
00:08:24,115 --> 00:08:25,840
- The path is clear?
- Exactly.
264
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:27,619
- For me?
- Uh-huh. My pleasure.
265
00:08:27,629 --> 00:08:28,709
What exactly is your pleasure?
266
00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:30,177
Clearing a path. For you.
267
00:08:30,187 --> 00:08:31,746
Oh. Okay.
268
00:08:31,756 --> 00:08:33,548
- Well, thanks.
- Anytime.
269
00:08:33,558 --> 00:08:35,178
Have fun on your rocket ride,
270
00:08:35,188 --> 00:08:36,214
and remember to mention me
271
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,602
in your speech at
the Medical Hall of Fame.
272
00:08:39,699 --> 00:08:41,589
It's just, I gotta ask, are...
273
00:08:41,599 --> 00:08:43,534
Are you backing out because
you think you'd beat me?
274
00:08:43,544 --> 00:08:45,035
What? No.
275
00:08:45,045 --> 00:08:46,359
Well, not like beat beat,
276
00:08:46,369 --> 00:08:48,541
but I think it's obvious
I'd have a slight edge.
277
00:08:48,551 --> 00:08:50,376
- An edge?
- A slight huge edge.
278
00:08:50,386 --> 00:08:52,077
Wait. Why were you gonna back out?
279
00:08:52,087 --> 00:08:53,226
Because I know I'd get it.
280
00:08:53,236 --> 00:08:54,274
Oh, you know?
281
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,536
Well, what if I got it?
282
00:08:55,546 --> 00:08:56,871
Like how I got the pudding?
283
00:08:56,881 --> 00:08:58,116
I let you have that pudding.
284
00:08:58,126 --> 00:08:59,981
Or I took that pudding
285
00:08:59,991 --> 00:09:01,973
with my indomitable will and brawn.
286
00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:04,656
Or I knew that baby Barry
would throw a tantrum
287
00:09:04,666 --> 00:09:06,180
if he didn't have his Snack Pack.
288
00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:07,982
- Because I'm smarter than you.
- Oh, yeah?
289
00:09:07,992 --> 00:09:10,084
How many fingers
am I holding behind my back?
290
00:09:10,094 --> 00:09:11,827
Is it one and it's the middle?
291
00:09:12,397 --> 00:09:13,754
Mmpf! Don't care.
292
00:09:13,764 --> 00:09:14,925
I'm still getting that internship.
293
00:09:14,935 --> 00:09:17,439
The hell you are, because now
I'm not backing down.
294
00:09:17,449 --> 00:09:19,722
Then it's on. It's on like Donkey Kong.
295
00:09:19,732 --> 00:09:21,235
Isn't Donkey Kong the loser
in that game?
296
00:09:21,245 --> 00:09:23,713
Everyone's the hero of their own story.
297
00:09:24,308 --> 00:09:26,503
Dammit! Find your own way to storm off.
298
00:09:26,513 --> 00:09:27,981
You find your own way to storm off!
299
00:09:27,991 --> 00:09:30,061
As Barry and Geoff
were ready to go to war,
300
00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:32,277
I was still riding high
on defeating my mom.
301
00:09:32,287 --> 00:09:33,402
Or so I thought.
302
00:09:33,412 --> 00:09:35,335
Gaah! I mean, "Gah."
303
00:09:35,345 --> 00:09:38,479
Well, hello, Adam.
Or should I say pupil?
304
00:09:38,489 --> 00:09:39,958
Because I am a teacher...
305
00:09:39,968 --> 00:09:42,171
A teacher of the physical arts.
306
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:43,840
No. You are nothing because you
307
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,451
have no students to instruct.
308
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:48,562
Au contraire, fruit of my 26-hour labor.
309
00:09:48,572 --> 00:09:51,374
I have plenty of eager bodies to shape.
310
00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:53,721
In fact, here comes my star scholar now.
311
00:09:53,731 --> 00:09:56,107
Ready for class. Brea, what is this?
312
00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:57,498
I'm School-ercising with your mom.
313
00:09:57,508 --> 00:09:58,799
How did she get to you?
314
00:09:58,809 --> 00:10:00,804
It's our pantry, isn't it?
315
00:10:01,284 --> 00:10:02,286
It's loaded,
316
00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:04,372
and your mom hasn't bought
a bag of chips in years.
317
00:10:04,382 --> 00:10:06,907
- We have chips.
- Yeah, homemade banana chips.
318
00:10:06,917 --> 00:10:08,491
That might as well be deviled eggs.
319
00:10:08,501 --> 00:10:09,698
Adam, I like P.E.
320
00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:11,345
And aerobics seems fun.
321
00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:12,680
That's why Mariel's doing it, too.
322
00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:14,192
I forgot my workout clothes.
323
00:10:14,202 --> 00:10:16,172
Is it cool if I just wear my bikini?
324
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:19,319
Well, keep all the obvious hot
zones covered, and we're good.
325
00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:20,870
You thinking what I'm thinking?
326
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,858
You know, I'd like to continue
my education in P.E., too.
327
00:10:23,868 --> 00:10:25,737
All are welcome!
328
00:10:25,747 --> 00:10:27,049
Oh, look, Adam,
329
00:10:27,059 --> 00:10:29,530
all your peers want to get
physical with your mama.
330
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,142
Yeah, there was
no version of that phrase
331
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,067
that brought me joy, but to my horror,
332
00:10:33,077 --> 00:10:34,519
with the popular kids on board,
333
00:10:34,529 --> 00:10:36,499
School-ercise was taking off.
334
00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:39,106
We're gonna do some pelvic loops, okay?
335
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:41,445
Pretend there's a crayon
tied to your hips,
336
00:10:41,455 --> 00:10:43,711
and you're gonna just do big circles.
337
00:10:43,721 --> 00:10:45,856
This is the worst thing that's
ever happened to anyone.
338
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,127
Not you, too, Dave Kim?
339
00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:50,761
Sorry. Mariel's here.
340
00:10:50,771 --> 00:10:51,919
Dave Kim needs this.
341
00:10:51,929 --> 00:10:53,188
Just go.
342
00:10:53,198 --> 00:10:55,109
I never wasn't gonna.
343
00:10:57,913 --> 00:11:00,316
Pretty soon, everyone
will be joining in.
344
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,795
Everyone.
345
00:11:02,805 --> 00:11:05,872
And by "everyone,"
she clearly meant me.
346
00:11:06,951 --> 00:11:08,246
Geoff was determined
347
00:11:08,256 --> 00:11:10,059
to win the internship away from Barry.
348
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:12,243
Only one problem... Geoff was Geoff.
349
00:11:12,253 --> 00:11:14,152
Oh, thank goodness, strawberry Quik.
350
00:11:14,162 --> 00:11:15,799
I really need to take the edge off.
351
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,143
Well, it's over now, baby.
352
00:11:17,153 --> 00:11:18,801
- The internship's Barry's.
- What?
353
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,337
I'm the superior candidate.
You just said so yourself.
354
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,516
And you are.
355
00:11:22,526 --> 00:11:23,994
But thinking about it,
356
00:11:24,004 --> 00:11:26,473
Barry's got something
that you'll never have.
357
00:11:26,751 --> 00:11:29,087
The irrational, aggressive
intensity of a lunatic.
358
00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:31,256
- But that's a bad thing.
- Most of the time.
359
00:11:31,266 --> 00:11:32,636
But this is a competition,
360
00:11:32,646 --> 00:11:34,716
and the person who's willing
to be the boldest always wins.
361
00:11:34,726 --> 00:11:36,697
- That's not true.
- Isn't it, though?
362
00:11:36,707 --> 00:11:38,933
By the way, I made a reservation
at Bombay Palace tonight.
363
00:11:38,943 --> 00:11:40,613
What? You know I can't eat Indian food.
364
00:11:40,623 --> 00:11:42,202
Their spices are too vibrant for me.
365
00:11:42,212 --> 00:11:44,219
Sorry, bud, Mama's in a hurry
for curry.
366
00:11:44,229 --> 00:11:46,299
My neck is already sweaty,
but it is my husbandly duty.
367
00:11:46,309 --> 00:11:47,699
And point made.
368
00:11:47,709 --> 00:11:48,987
Oh, you were just trying to prove
369
00:11:48,997 --> 00:11:50,522
that I can't stand up for myself?
370
00:11:50,532 --> 00:11:52,568
You folded faster than
the laundry I make you do.
371
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:53,847
How do I win this internship?
372
00:11:53,857 --> 00:11:55,850
There's only one way, out-Barry Barry.
373
00:11:55,860 --> 00:11:58,653
Done. I will be the most
irrational, confrontational,
374
00:11:58,663 --> 00:12:00,588
not-so-nice fella
the world has ever known.
375
00:12:00,598 --> 00:12:02,052
You're in the game, kid.
376
00:12:02,062 --> 00:12:04,374
Yes! And even better, I don't have
to eat Indian food.
377
00:12:04,384 --> 00:12:05,809
Nah, grab your jacket.
378
00:12:05,819 --> 00:12:08,054
That little scenario gave me
a taste for tandoori.
379
00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:10,682
And so Geoff harnessed his inner Barry.
380
00:12:10,692 --> 00:12:13,363
Gentlemen, while the internship
is mostly clerical,
381
00:12:13,373 --> 00:12:15,109
I expect you to have basic knowledge
382
00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:16,793
of medicine at your fingertips.
383
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,939
My fingers are jacked.
Surgeon's hands, yo!
384
00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:20,307
Playing God with my mitts!
385
00:12:20,317 --> 00:12:21,776
O-kay.
386
00:12:21,786 --> 00:12:23,722
Mr. Goldberg, question...
387
00:12:23,732 --> 00:12:25,334
What are red blood cells shaped like?
388
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:27,394
Doughnuts! They're
shaped like doughnuts.
389
00:12:27,404 --> 00:12:29,950
Cream-filled. Maple bacon. Glazed.
390
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,640
- Cake for breakfast, y'all.
- Huh.
391
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,251
- What are you doing?
- While that is basically correct,
392
00:12:33,261 --> 00:12:35,251
I have to say the ensuing outburst
393
00:12:35,261 --> 00:12:37,168
was embarrassing, at best.
394
00:12:37,178 --> 00:12:39,193
You said best. And that's what I am.
395
00:12:39,203 --> 00:12:41,272
Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-best!
396
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,708
I'm just gonna continue
heading this way.
397
00:12:44,175 --> 00:12:45,811
What are you doing, dude?
398
00:12:45,821 --> 00:12:48,002
Say hello to Dr. Big Tasty, MD.
399
00:12:48,012 --> 00:12:49,845
That's right, I've taken your rap name,
400
00:12:49,855 --> 00:12:51,514
just like I'm taking this internship.
401
00:12:51,524 --> 00:12:53,585
Well, good luck,
fellow qualified candidate.
402
00:12:53,595 --> 00:12:55,475
What's going on?
Why are you being so gracious
403
00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:57,322
and not attacking me
with words and fists?
404
00:12:57,332 --> 00:12:59,013
I had a little chat with Joanne,
405
00:12:59,023 --> 00:13:01,137
and she suggested there's no way I'd win
406
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:03,350
'cause you're too nice,
so I'm out-Geoffing you.
407
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,667
Y-You can't out-me me.
I'm out-youing you.
408
00:13:05,677 --> 00:13:08,190
I don't know where you got
that terrible idea, but...
409
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,935
neat-o mosquito.
410
00:13:09,945 --> 00:13:11,481
- Is that supposed to be me?
- Yeppers.
411
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:13,418
Oh, no. You're disarmingly innocent.
412
00:13:13,428 --> 00:13:14,870
Wait! Dr. Solit!
413
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,438
I'm the kinda guy who says "yeppers."
414
00:13:16,448 --> 00:13:18,317
While Geoff was losing ground to Barry,
415
00:13:18,327 --> 00:13:21,035
my mom's aerobics class was
taking the school by storm.
416
00:13:21,045 --> 00:13:22,213
Wow.
417
00:13:22,223 --> 00:13:24,727
You look like Alyssa Milano
in Teen Steam.
418
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,493
I only know that
because Barry rented it.
419
00:13:26,503 --> 00:13:29,221
We watched it in dead silence
and went our separate ways.
420
00:13:29,231 --> 00:13:31,169
Ignoring all that.
Your mom is teaching during lunch
421
00:13:31,179 --> 00:13:32,623
- since the other class filled up.
- Neat.
422
00:13:32,633 --> 00:13:34,256
Now none of my peers have to miss out
423
00:13:34,266 --> 00:13:36,016
on watching her glisten
like Kathleen Turner
424
00:13:36,026 --> 00:13:37,985
in the erotic thriller Body Heat.
425
00:13:37,995 --> 00:13:40,260
- Barry rented that, too.
- I get it. She's your mom.
426
00:13:40,270 --> 00:13:43,334
But to the rest of us, she's just
this fun, hilarious lady
427
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:44,959
who, honestly, really knows
how to move her body.
428
00:13:44,969 --> 00:13:46,571
You did it. It's all okay now.
429
00:13:46,581 --> 00:13:49,652
Come on. The entire senior class
is having a blast.
430
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,933
I admit, when I stare through
the gym-door window in horror,
431
00:13:52,943 --> 00:13:55,169
everyone does look kinda sorta happy.
432
00:13:55,179 --> 00:13:56,214
Because we are.
433
00:13:56,224 --> 00:13:57,493
Give it a try. Please?
434
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,339
For me? Let's get to the gym.
435
00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:01,676
Who was I to argue
with my girlfriend in a leotard?
436
00:14:01,686 --> 00:14:04,799
So I suited up and gave
School-ercise a shot.
437
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:07,358
Your thighs, neck, and tushy want this.
438
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,571
What does that even mean?
439
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:09,750
Come on. Just go with it.
440
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,245
I took Brea's advice,
and to my surprise,
441
00:14:12,255 --> 00:14:14,659
grooving with my mom wasn't that bad.
442
00:14:18,368 --> 00:14:20,656
I'm feeling loose. How 'bout you guys?
443
00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:22,524
Until this.
444
00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:29,180
Yep, in a high school career
445
00:14:29,190 --> 00:14:30,938
filled with embarrassing moments,
446
00:14:30,948 --> 00:14:32,951
this one topped them all.
447
00:14:32,961 --> 00:14:34,559
And not just for me.
448
00:14:36,550 --> 00:14:38,381
As my day couldn't have
gotten any worse,
449
00:14:38,391 --> 00:14:39,820
Geoff's stunk, as well.
450
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:40,896
There you are.
451
00:14:40,906 --> 00:14:42,179
Your advice was terrible.
452
00:14:42,189 --> 00:14:44,612
I was rude and obnoxious,
and Barry was a saint.
453
00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,174
Hello, my dear and loving husband.
454
00:14:46,184 --> 00:14:47,918
- How are you today?
- No pleasantries.
455
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,067
I am reeling here.
456
00:14:49,077 --> 00:14:51,291
And not to mention, the Indian
food is not sitting well.
457
00:14:51,301 --> 00:14:52,771
The bus trip home was a white-knuckler.
458
00:14:52,781 --> 00:14:54,094
Okay. We'll figure this out.
459
00:14:54,104 --> 00:14:55,331
What's there to figure?
460
00:14:55,341 --> 00:14:58,212
I'm doomed to be a beloved
but average country doctor
461
00:14:58,222 --> 00:15:00,482
who treats his simple patients
with folksy wisdom.
462
00:15:00,492 --> 00:15:03,030
Your worst-case scenarios
are always so charming.
463
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,267
But this isn't over.
464
00:15:04,277 --> 00:15:05,877
We can still hit Barry back.
465
00:15:05,887 --> 00:15:08,531
How? He's stolen my delightful persona.
466
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,244
He said that laughter
was the best medicine
467
00:15:10,254 --> 00:15:12,274
and then gave everyone several doses.
468
00:15:12,284 --> 00:15:14,414
We'll just force the real
Barry out of him
469
00:15:14,424 --> 00:15:16,450
with the one thing that he can't resist.
470
00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:17,829
All the buttons in an elevator?
471
00:15:17,839 --> 00:15:19,642
His incredibly fragile ego.
472
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,921
Erica was right.
473
00:15:20,931 --> 00:15:22,716
If there was one thing
Barry hated the most,
474
00:15:22,726 --> 00:15:24,591
it was someone else being the best.
475
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:26,137
Dr. Solit says he'll join us
476
00:15:26,147 --> 00:15:27,193
as soon as he wraps up with a patient.
477
00:15:27,203 --> 00:15:28,851
- Thanks, Raj.
- Say, Raj,
478
00:15:29,327 --> 00:15:31,383
I understand that you're
a world-class fencer?
479
00:15:31,393 --> 00:15:32,736
Not world-class, but...
480
00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:34,479
I did do it for a few
years in high school.
481
00:15:34,489 --> 00:15:35,759
Wow. Well, that would
definitely make you
482
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,384
the best person
with a sword around here.
483
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,650
- Wouldn't you say, Bar?
- I don't know about that.
484
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:41,882
No, no. Raj is the best. Clearly.
485
00:15:41,892 --> 00:15:43,960
Even with a katana,
which is the blade of a ninja.
486
00:15:44,139 --> 00:15:45,479
Samurai.
487
00:15:45,489 --> 00:15:46,986
I'm sorry. Did you say something?
488
00:15:46,996 --> 00:15:48,729
Because this is all about Raj
489
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,154
and how he dominates with all
hand-to-hand combat weapons.
490
00:15:51,164 --> 00:15:52,686
That's an exaggeration...
491
00:15:52,696 --> 00:15:55,733
Oh, and so humble despite
your clear top-dog status.
492
00:15:55,743 --> 00:15:57,378
I challenge you, Raj.
493
00:15:57,634 --> 00:16:00,105
Cage match or elimination chamber?
494
00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:01,951
Those are the same thing,
and, no, Barry.
495
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,963
Raj is clearly
the exceptional bladesman.
496
00:16:03,973 --> 00:16:05,811
Falsehood! Choose your weapon.
497
00:16:05,821 --> 00:16:08,192
I was just hoping to enjoy
this three-bean stew.
498
00:16:08,202 --> 00:16:09,832
Raj chooses bread.
499
00:16:09,842 --> 00:16:11,057
Take your garde.
500
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:13,704
Yeah, I refuse on the grounds
that this is incredibly stupid.
501
00:16:13,714 --> 00:16:16,176
Ouch, Bar. Are you just gonna
let Raj talk to you that way?
502
00:16:16,186 --> 00:16:17,912
Never!
503
00:16:17,922 --> 00:16:20,014
Please don't. You're
getting crumbs on my jacket.
504
00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:21,526
What is happening right now?
505
00:16:21,536 --> 00:16:22,571
I'll field this one.
506
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:24,251
Barry is emotionally out-of-control
507
00:16:24,261 --> 00:16:25,530
and attacked Raj with bread.
508
00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:27,321
Raj goaded me into it
509
00:16:27,331 --> 00:16:29,000
by having limited success in his past.
510
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:30,813
Okay, I'm ready to pick my intern.
511
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,716
I-It's Raj. Come with me.
512
00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:34,712
Huh.
513
00:16:34,722 --> 00:16:36,707
Well, that didn't go the
way I thought it would.
514
00:16:36,717 --> 00:16:38,123
What the hell, dude?
515
00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:40,318
You let me make a fool of myself!
516
00:16:40,328 --> 00:16:42,598
You did the same thing to me.
I hope you're happy.
517
00:16:42,608 --> 00:16:43,915
Why would I be happy?
518
00:16:43,925 --> 00:16:45,340
I didn't get the thing I wanted!
519
00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:46,384
Well, I didn't get it, either.
520
00:16:46,394 --> 00:16:47,931
Then you should storm off.
521
00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:49,509
You storm off. I have food here.
522
00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:50,922
I have food here, too.
523
00:16:50,932 --> 00:16:52,105
God!
524
00:16:52,115 --> 00:16:53,210
While Barry and Geoff
525
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,828
were feeling less than brotherly,
526
00:16:54,838 --> 00:16:57,296
I had some familial issues of my own.
527
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:03,000
Uh, hey, so, what's the word
in the hallway, homebody?
528
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,367
Has my, uh,
529
00:17:04,377 --> 00:17:07,289
- little aerobic miscue blown over?
- Miscue?
530
00:17:07,299 --> 00:17:10,297
Half the senior class
heard your two-cheek squeak.
531
00:17:10,307 --> 00:17:11,776
This thing has legs!
532
00:17:11,786 --> 00:17:13,055
Oh, my God.
533
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:15,168
I only have a few weeks left
at this school,
534
00:17:15,178 --> 00:17:17,184
and you just couldn't help
but embarrass me?
535
00:17:17,194 --> 00:17:19,273
You think this is how
I want to be remembered?
536
00:17:19,283 --> 00:17:20,651
It's how you should be remembered,
537
00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:22,469
as a complete embarrassment
to your children,
538
00:17:22,479 --> 00:17:23,837
family, and community.
539
00:17:26,623 --> 00:17:29,027
Is your mom hiding
in the custodial closet?
540
00:17:29,037 --> 00:17:31,674
Right by the lemon Pledge
and a little chair by a radio.
541
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:32,940
She must feel terrible.
542
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:35,355
Yeah, she's acting like
she's more embarrassed than me.
543
00:17:35,365 --> 00:17:37,207
Well, you're not the one
who canoonerred.
544
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,226
- It's my family's word for it.
- Adorable,
545
00:17:39,236 --> 00:17:41,339
but Beverly Goldberg's public explosions
546
00:17:41,349 --> 00:17:42,797
are nobody's fault but hers.
547
00:17:42,807 --> 00:17:44,357
Maybe you could at least be sympathetic
548
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,900
to the woman who tries
to give you everything?
549
00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:47,334
Hmm, let me think about it.
550
00:17:47,344 --> 00:17:48,628
- No.
- Adam,
551
00:17:48,638 --> 00:17:50,301
all she wanted was
for you to be healthy.
552
00:17:50,311 --> 00:17:52,483
- Just like I do.
- You care about me that much?
553
00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:54,084
Almost as much as she does.
554
00:17:54,094 --> 00:17:55,475
So you'll make it right?
555
00:17:55,485 --> 00:17:57,577
I'll consider it, but I need a day.
556
00:17:57,587 --> 00:18:00,269
Or possibly the rest of my life.
557
00:18:02,016 --> 00:18:03,043
Even though my mom had
558
00:18:03,053 --> 00:18:04,495
committed the ultimate embarrassment,
559
00:18:04,505 --> 00:18:06,220
the school day rolled right on.
560
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:08,621
It's Bike Safety Week, seniors!
561
00:18:10,334 --> 00:18:12,503
Although most of you drive cars
562
00:18:12,513 --> 00:18:14,694
and stopped learning things weeks ago,
563
00:18:14,704 --> 00:18:17,642
let us not forget
our two-wheeled friends.
564
00:18:17,652 --> 00:18:20,089
Right. "Bicyclist" is just "friend"
565
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,169
spelled with many different letters.
566
00:18:22,179 --> 00:18:23,837
Thank you, Principal Ball,
567
00:18:23,847 --> 00:18:25,483
for scheduling this emergency meeting
568
00:18:25,493 --> 00:18:27,975
so that we can talk about
what happened yesterday.
569
00:18:27,985 --> 00:18:29,109
Crack attack!
570
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:30,610
Thunder from Down Under.
571
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:33,280
Colon bowlin'.
572
00:18:33,290 --> 00:18:36,550
Stop! We are not replacing Bike Week
573
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:40,020
to have a discussion about
a faculty member's flatulence.
574
00:18:40,030 --> 00:18:41,165
I see.
575
00:18:43,102 --> 00:18:45,078
Well, I guess my time here really
576
00:18:45,088 --> 00:18:46,390
has come to an end.
577
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,821
I'm sorry it ended this way.
578
00:18:48,831 --> 00:18:51,165
Turns out I didn't
want it to end this way, either.
579
00:18:51,175 --> 00:18:52,813
Wait. Mom...
580
00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:54,633
You made gym, a class I normally
581
00:18:54,643 --> 00:18:57,804
hate, into something fun.
582
00:18:57,814 --> 00:18:59,421
And not just for me
583
00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:01,175
but for all the students here.
584
00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:06,279
Why should one horrible,
life-scarring moment
585
00:19:06,289 --> 00:19:07,865
mean your time is done?
586
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,284
Last week, my glasses
fell into the toilet,
587
00:19:10,294 --> 00:19:11,762
and I couldn't fish them out,
588
00:19:11,772 --> 00:19:13,774
which meant, a whole day of...
589
00:19:17,343 --> 00:19:20,747
I mean, who here hasn't done
something embarrassing?
590
00:19:21,012 --> 00:19:23,649
I barfed on seventh-grade picture day,
591
00:19:23,659 --> 00:19:26,342
and they made me wear the only
T-shirt in the lost and found.
592
00:19:26,352 --> 00:19:29,054
So for the rest of the year,
I had a new nickname...
593
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,551
(BLEEP) Last Resort.
594
00:19:32,951 --> 00:19:36,576
I may have once kissed the TV
when Wonder Woman was on.
595
00:19:36,586 --> 00:19:38,106
Also, it was more than once.
596
00:19:38,116 --> 00:19:39,139
I got one.
597
00:19:39,149 --> 00:19:42,005
I once paid my girlfriend's rent
in Florida for an entire year,
598
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,121
even though I knew she was cohabitating
599
00:19:44,131 --> 00:19:45,419
with our dog groomer.
600
00:19:45,429 --> 00:19:47,187
They went to St. Maarten for a vacation.
601
00:19:47,197 --> 00:19:48,219
I paid for that, too.
602
00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:51,391
I agree with young Goldberg.
We all make mistakes.
603
00:19:51,401 --> 00:19:52,672
Like Bike Week.
604
00:19:53,537 --> 00:19:55,208
Why was this a good idea?
605
00:19:57,507 --> 00:19:58,507
Adam.
606
00:19:59,801 --> 00:20:01,268
So you're not embarrassed of me?
607
00:20:01,278 --> 00:20:02,613
Always.
608
00:20:02,623 --> 00:20:05,192
But I can't have you being
embarrassed of yourself.
609
00:20:05,449 --> 00:20:06,784
You're Beverly Goldberg.
610
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,345
As my mom cleared the air,
611
00:20:11,355 --> 00:20:14,092
tensions still lingered
between Barry and Geoff.
612
00:20:14,325 --> 00:20:16,241
What? No. I'm not going anywhere he is.
613
00:20:16,251 --> 00:20:19,018
Good. 'Cause there's a huge
world out there for you to explore,
614
00:20:19,028 --> 00:20:20,954
most of which doesn't have me in it.
615
00:20:20,964 --> 00:20:23,968
But stay away from Australia
and the Americas.
616
00:20:23,978 --> 00:20:25,213
Guys, stop.
617
00:20:25,223 --> 00:20:27,461
Joanne and I talked about it,
and we're to blame, as well.
618
00:20:27,471 --> 00:20:28,486
It's true.
619
00:20:28,496 --> 00:20:30,730
We should've just encouraged
you to be yourselves.
620
00:20:30,740 --> 00:20:33,278
You're brothers. You'd do
anything for each other.
621
00:20:33,288 --> 00:20:34,776
Even giving up something
that you want more
622
00:20:34,786 --> 00:20:36,391
than anything in the world.
623
00:20:36,646 --> 00:20:38,271
I really did want you to get it.
624
00:20:38,556 --> 00:20:41,194
Me too.
625
00:20:41,204 --> 00:20:42,362
Bro.
626
00:20:42,372 --> 00:20:44,285
- Bro.
- ? Anything at all...
627
00:20:44,295 --> 00:20:45,442
That's the thing about family.
628
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,247
Sometimes there can be disagreements,
629
00:20:47,257 --> 00:20:49,012
even embarrassments,
630
00:20:49,022 --> 00:20:50,324
but eventually,
631
00:20:50,334 --> 00:20:53,370
if you find yourselves in step
with the people you love,
632
00:20:53,615 --> 00:20:55,059
there's no telling
633
00:20:55,069 --> 00:20:57,219
the great places you might go.
634
00:21:03,307 --> 00:21:06,243
I've added some sound
effects to old home movies.
635
00:21:06,984 --> 00:21:09,248
Stop videotaping!
636
00:21:09,258 --> 00:21:11,571
Adam, what the hell?
I'm gonna crimp your face!
637
00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,508
I quit!
638
00:21:14,518 --> 00:21:16,454
We're called the Dropouts because...
639
00:21:16,464 --> 00:21:18,632
We dropped out of college.
640
00:21:22,559 --> 00:21:25,952
Ha! Classic bathroom humor
never disappoints, am I right?
641
00:21:25,962 --> 00:21:27,181
When it's classy.
642
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:32,830
- Synced & corrected by L0tech -
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47582
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