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Florida Snake Hunt 2016.
2
00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:21,478
Hmm.
3
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,651
Total length of snakes.
4
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,454
No more than two pieces.
5
00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:33,827
Head must be included. Oof.
6
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,827
$20,000 grand prize.
7
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How to kill big snakes.
8
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,174
If you ever you catch
a Burmese python,
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00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,842
make sure you kill
it on the spot.
10
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Oh, my God!
11
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Their teeth are
so long, so sharp.
12
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,843
They just puncture right down.
13
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,845
- You gotta protect yourself.
- Gloves, heavy boots.
14
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,348
You need a swamp vehicle.
15
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,533
Firmly pin the snake
behind the head.
16
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,387
- Try not to hesitate.
- Ew.
17
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,911
Take a captive bolt
gun or air pistol.
18
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:03,095
So this might be the largest
python I've ever caught.
19
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,856
Draw an imaginary X on
the back of their head.
20
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,859
Boom! One shot
destroys the brain.
21
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,275
Here we go.
22
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:46,605
- Aw, shit.
23
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,936
Oof.
24
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,577
Hey.
25
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,921
Oh, yeah, I guess it was, like,
26
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,208
pouring rain till,
like, one minute ago.
27
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,842
The weather is crazy.
28
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,339
I don't care what Marco
says. Climate change is real.
29
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,971
I believe in climate change.
30
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,445
Doesn't take two people
to answer the door, Marco.
31
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Were you just hiding
a bike in our bush?
32
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,013
God, seriously?
33
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:01,966
Why are you so obsessed with me?
34
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I am not obsessed with you.
35
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,388
I live here. It's my bush.
36
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,619
Now it seems like you're
obsessed with bushes.
37
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,313
I am not obsessed with bushes.
38
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,456
Yeah, you are, and it's weird,
39
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,665
because it's not even your bush.
40
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,167
- It's in front of my house.
- That you rent.
41
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,651
You're borrowing that bush.
42
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,086
- Well, at least I have a bush.
- You're a bush borrower.
43
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,110
- You live in an apartment.
- You're a bush borrower.
44
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,914
Bush borrower.
45
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,373
I'm having a little car trouble.
46
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,621
- That's right. You were there.
47
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,464
I was hopin' I could
borrow yours for work.
48
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,170
Psh, you don't work.
49
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,460
I do work, Marco.
50
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,173
I'm starting a saw
palmetto farm...
51
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,013
- Ooh.
- Which is a billion-dollar
52
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,168
international industry.
53
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,336
By the way, I got a
huge investor meeting.
54
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,755
It's big stuff.
55
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,603
I was hopin' I get the
car just for today.
56
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,773
No... no.
57
00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,428
Yeah, Marco don't
need to go anywhere.
58
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,016
He's gotta hang around.
59
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,481
He's on bush patrol.
60
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,401
I'm not obsessed with bushes.
61
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,319
And yet here we are,
talking about bushes again.
62
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,821
5:30? No problem.
63
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,816
Hey.
64
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,068
Name, email, phone number.
65
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,493
Okay.
66
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,414
Welcome packet.
67
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,905
What's the whistle for?
68
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,036
Does it scare the snakes
away or call them to you?
69
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,633
Yes.
70
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,813
- Hello.
71
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,877
Hello.
72
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:01,092
I'm Wayne Persons, and
I'm here to welcome you
73
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:05,314
to the second annual South
Florida Python Challenge.
74
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,853
All right, a few
quick reminders:
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00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,143
Hunting must be done
76
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:14,726
at approved competition
locations, all right?
77
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,533
Hooks, tongs, and
bags are permitted.
78
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,687
Not permitted are:
79
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,866
Traps, explosives,
chemicals, smoke.
80
00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,487
Dead snakes are
counted by the foot.
81
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:30,874
Fertilized eggs inside
a snake or inside a nest
82
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:34,134
are counted as
two feet of snake.
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00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,287
Oh, a nest. Ooh, boy.
84
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,956
- That's the dream right there.
- Mm.
85
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,514
You know a big
female can pop out
86
00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:42,507
about 100 eggs at a time, huh?
87
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,010
I'd like to see her body
bounce back after that one.
88
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:49,023
Now, before we begin, please
join me in a moment of silence
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00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:53,097
for last year's
champion, Boone Finnigan.
90
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,484
He was an honorable man
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00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,572
who passed away far too soon.
92
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,317
Was he eaten by a snake?
93
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,662
No. He shot himself.
94
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,738
- Oh.
- He was depressed or whatever.
95
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,953
Actually, he used the
prize money to buy the gun.
96
00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,003
- Damn.
- All right, that's it.
97
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,207
Let the games begin.
98
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,037
Whoo! Yeah!
99
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,836
Corby, come on. Stop
shootin' me from below.
100
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,190
Rise up. Get some
flattering angles.
101
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,474
Little tricep.
102
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,590
It's a camera, not a magic wand.
103
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,135
I make huntin' vids for YouTube.
104
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,509
That's my cameraman.
105
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,846
This child?
106
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,140
He's my son.
107
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,353
But I'm a professional.
108
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,523
Got about 150,000 subscribers.
109
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,112
I don't say that
to intimidate you.
110
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,607
I don't feel intimidated.
111
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,728
Well, you should.
112
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,114
It's a lot of subscribers.
113
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,361
150K makes me an MTI.
114
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,743
Mid-tier influencer.
115
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,200
Pretty soon, you'll be a UTI.
116
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,825
Upper-tier influencer.
117
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,870
I know what a UTI is, okay?
118
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,133
My father has dementia.
He gets them all the time.
119
00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:03,207
And you just made a
very powerful enemy.
120
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,916
Okay.
121
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:05,966
Okay.
122
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,258
- I'm sorry...
- Corby!
123
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,215
Come on. Put the camera on me.
124
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,095
Get this turn.
125
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,482
Ooh.
126
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,148
Hey!
127
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,727
Oh, what's up, Jillian G.?
128
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,732
- You're here.
- That's so awesome.
129
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,074
We're gonna be unstoppable.
130
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,109
When we team up... you know
you can enter the contest
131
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,493
with a partner.
132
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,619
- Okay, but...
- do I need a partner?
133
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,947
Snake hunting is so
much easier with a team.
134
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,543
Everyone knows you need
a grabber and a lookout,
135
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,209
and I'm very good at grabbing.
136
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,417
I'm sure you're a
great grabber, but...
137
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,788
I need all that prize money
138
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,754
to buy my saw palmetto farm.
139
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,125
Okay, but are you sure
you can do this alone?
140
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,422
There is some very
intense competition.
141
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,756
Take a look around you.
142
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:52,431
Camo guy, camo guy,
flannel shirt, camo guy,
143
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,852
and look at this old-timer.
144
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,640
He looks like he knows the
swamps better than anyone.
145
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,265
That guy's so old,
insects think he's dead.
146
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,692
A fly just landed on his eye.
147
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,320
He's staying super still
as a hunting technique.
148
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,108
Any second, he's gonna snatch
it right out of the air.
149
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,366
Okay, well, the camo
guys mean business.
150
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,580
I'ma take my chances on my own.
151
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,460
But best of luck to you.
152
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,327
I'll see you out there.
153
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,504
Okay, well, just so you
know, I'm gonna destroy you!
154
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,298
Hit me up on Uber if
you ever need a ride!
155
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,379
Looks like you've got
a car again, though,
156
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,715
so you probably won't need to.
157
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,375
"The Business Battlefield."
158
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:14,175
Chapter one: "Getting
Ready to Brawl."
159
00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,483
Here's a question I ask
all my entrepreneurs:
160
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:23,857
What do you, Bill Gates, and
Jeff Bezos have in common?
161
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,187
You're probably thinking,
"Rita, not much."
162
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,573
Wrong.
163
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,530
You all have the same
number of hours in a day.
164
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,411
It's what you do with that.
165
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,368
Hey there, Mr. Independent,
166
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,200
Mr. Single Rider.
167
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,535
How's the hunting?
168
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,790
Pretty good. You?
169
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,291
Oh, it's going great.
170
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,673
I'm actually glad you
didn't want to partner up,
171
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,500
because I found someone else.
172
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,415
He's really wonderful.
173
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,054
Oh, yeah? Cool. Where is he?
174
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,761
- He's here.
- He's just slumped over a bit.
175
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,260
The bumpy road put
him right to sleep.
176
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,854
You sure that guy should be
out in the sun hunting snakes?
177
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,350
His name is Silas,
178
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,353
and he's actually
quite spry for his age.
179
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,516
You'd be surprised.
180
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,233
Another fly just
landed on his eye.
181
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,240
It's not his fault.
182
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,486
He takes a medication that
makes his tears sweet.
183
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:16,119
Cool. Well, I'm glad it
all worked out for you.
184
00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,407
You found somebody that
you're very excited about.
185
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,791
Yes, I am very excited.
186
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,002
But if you're having
any regrets now...
187
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,251
- Nope.
- I would just think
188
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,592
that seeing how happy
I am might make you...
189
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,772
- Jillian, I'm good.
- What the hell?
190
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,416
Are you trying to replace me?
191
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,684
What? No, no.
192
00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,257
I was just trying
to make him jealous.
193
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,391
He was gonna be all, "I
do wanna be partners,"
194
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,310
and I was gonna be all,
"Psych! You had your chance.
195
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,519
Later, loser."
196
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,439
Oh, well, all right.
197
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,937
You stay away from us,
198
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,809
or I'll slit your throat.
199
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,567
He's a feisty one.
200
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,860
This morning, he told me if I
didn't stop tapping my fingers,
201
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,615
he'd bite them off one by one.
202
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,867
- Oh.
- Anyway,
203
00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,868
have fun going it alone.
204
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,997
The people who
really want success
205
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:13,006
will do anything to get it.
206
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,218
Yes, you may run
into a mountain,
207
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,588
but mountains are
made for climbing.
208
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,965
It may not always be easy,
209
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,353
but you have to get comfortable
210
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,179
being uncomfortable.
211
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,774
I always tell my entrepreneurs
that the road to success
212
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:26,810
is not a road.
213
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,023
It's an obstacle course,
214
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,444
and that's a good thing,
215
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,073
because once you get to
the end of your journey,
216
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,860
you realize the journey
never actually ends.
217
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,695
There's always a new
mountain to climb.
218
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,411
But now you're prepared.
219
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:44,451
You've taken every test
and dodged every bullet.
220
00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:46,515
You've been under the gun and
had your feet to the fire.
221
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,749
Gotcha!
222
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,382
Ow!
223
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,668
Fuck!
224
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,722
Oh, fuck.
225
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,512
Ugh, shit.
226
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,675
Ah!
227
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,596
Oh, shit.
228
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,185
Gah! Fuck!
229
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,985
- Yo, Craig.
- Damn!
230
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,028
Hello... hello?
231
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,202
Craigory! Brah, you okay?
232
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,661
I think I just broke my foot.
233
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,081
So sounds like snake
huntin's goin' great.
234
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,290
- I'm bleeding here, Zay.
- Shut up!
235
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,974
- Don't get mad at me.
- Why'd you answer the phone?
236
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,142
'Cause I just
called an ambulance.
237
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,477
I thought you were
them calling back.
238
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,461
Wait, you already
called an ambulance?
239
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,093
I thought you just
broke your foot.
240
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,590
I also nailed
a snake to my hand.
241
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,881
- What was that?
- I couldn't hear you.
242
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,716
I also nailed a
snake to my hand!
243
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,177
Is it still on there?
244
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,183
Hey, Face Time me real quick.
245
00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:47,314
I wanna see this shit.
246
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,435
Oh, my God!
247
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,609
Are you okay?
248
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,517
- Not doin' great, Jillian G.
- Ah!
249
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,026
Oh, you fuck up.
250
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,737
Look at that.
251
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,107
You got him right in the brain.
252
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,244
At least he didn't
feel any pain.
253
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,661
Oh, I'm so glad this dead
snake is comfortable.
254
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,740
I'm gonna try to
pull the nail out.
255
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,195
Maybe it won't hurt.
256
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,705
I read somewhere that there's
a part of the human hand
257
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,788
that doesn't have any nerves.
258
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,883
Not that part!
259
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,708
Silas, you're on
tons of medication.
260
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,464
Do you have any painkillers?
261
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,375
- I've got diclofenac.
262
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,545
- What are those for?
- I have no idea.
263
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:25,564
I just eat whatever
jangles in my pocket.
264
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,217
But he can't have any.
265
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,635
- Damn.
- He's the enemy.
266
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,643
I hope you die out here.
267
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,435
I'm not taking some old
man's mystery pills.
268
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,942
Besides, I already
called an ambulance.
269
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,781
Craig, do you have
health insurance?
270
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,896
No. I mean, I had it,
but then I got fired.
271
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,324
That's a shocker.
272
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:42,631
You really don't wanna
call an ambulance.
273
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,115
Having them come
all the way out here
274
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,737
is gonna be so expensive.
275
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:46,834
Can't be that expensive.
276
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,448
- Like, $1,500.
- What? Shit.
277
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,865
That's how much they charged me
278
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,293
when I fell off the water slide.
279
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,381
I have debt collectors
calling me to this day.
280
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,626
That's why I have to answer
all unknown calls as...
281
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,313
A little boy named Simon.
282
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,797
Just don't answer
the unknown calls.
283
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,646
But what if
I've won a sweepstakes?
284
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,724
Well, I obviously don't
have $1,500 lying around.
285
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,153
- Fuck!
- I could take you to my friend
286
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,467
who's a doctor.
287
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,182
She'll see you for a
couple hundred bucks,
288
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,272
maybe for free because
she's my friend.
289
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,637
We're really good friends.
290
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,161
The amount of times you
said she's your friend
291
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,305
makes me feel like
she's not your friend.
292
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,194
But if
she's a doctor...
293
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,481
Oh, she's a great
doctor and my friend.
294
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,775
- Screw it.
295
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:20,858
What have I got to lose?
296
00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,655
Ah, shit.
297
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,407
Guess we gotta tell
them to turn around.
298
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,717
They're gonna charge you anyway.
299
00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:29,201
They bill you as soon
as you make the call.
300
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,164
But I can get us out of
here. Hide the snake.
301
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,306
- Hide the snake?
- It's nailed to my hand.
302
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,540
Just put it behind your back.
303
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,844
Okay, act natural.
304
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,626
Big normal smiles.
305
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,005
We got a call about a man
306
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,339
with a snake nailed to his hand.
307
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:48,054
Oh, well, sadly none
of us are that man,
308
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,306
but good luck in finding him.
309
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:54,018
But now you mention it, I
did see someone like that.
310
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,190
Okay. So where?
311
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,320
He went to the bathroom.
312
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,317
That's his car back
there with the billboard.
313
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,109
He'll probably go back to it.
314
00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,993
I'm sorry. Who are you?
315
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,950
You're all just
out in the swamp,
316
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:07,990
unrelated to the call?
317
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,283
Yup.
318
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,945
We're having a swamp day.
319
00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:12,004
Lil' swamp romp.
320
00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:13,197
We're a family.
321
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,706
This is my husband
and his father.
322
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,079
My father?
323
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,227
Anyway, we better get going.
324
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,791
Get in the car, boys!
325
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,246
Mum's driving.
326
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,382
Whose mom are you?
327
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,054
I'm the mother to
two young sons.
328
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,513
They're no longer with us.
329
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,563
But I'll always be a mother.
330
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:34,267
Oh, now to just grab
the nail gun and...
331
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,266
Oh, yeah.
332
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,653
And we're off!
333
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,791
I can see the snake
on your hand, man.
334
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,917
Don't know what
you're talking about.
335
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,191
You called us out here.
336
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,378
We need to get your
name and information.
337
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,112
- Go, go, go.
- Silas, meet us at the car!
338
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,171
Are you worried about
leaving your car back there?
339
00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,327
Why, because that
billboard is my livelihood
340
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,416
and it contains all my
worldly possessions?
341
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,462
A little bit, but
I'll figure it out.
342
00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,916
Let's just get
you to the doctor.
343
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,255
Hey, thank you for helping me
344
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,800
with the ambulance back there.
345
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,303
My pleasure.
346
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,965
And I was thinking
347
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,933
neither of us is gonna
win this thing alone.
348
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,604
If you did wanna team up,
349
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,483
I could invest my half of the
prize money in your business,
350
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,941
and you could make me a partner.
351
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,400
I knew it.
352
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,110
You're throwing me to the curb.
353
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,440
Oh, I'm sorry, Silas.
354
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,656
But you're really
not a great partner.
355
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,027
You're slow. You're mean.
356
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,624
- You think everything's a snake.
- I'm not mean.
357
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,910
Come on, Silas. You're a dick.
358
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,123
- All right.
- I'm sorry if I'm competitive.
359
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,293
But I need to earn that
money to pay for my funeral.
360
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,463
Wait, Silas, are you dying?
361
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,672
Do I look like I'm dying?
362
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,795
- I mean...
- Well, you are...
363
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,342
- I wouldn't be a shock if...
- Advanced in years.
364
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,596
- The answer is no.
- I'm not dying.
365
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:54,928
Good.
366
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,103
And you don't have family
367
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,159
to take care of funeral stuff?
368
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,983
I got nobody.
369
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,496
And when you die in
Florida with no money,
370
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,730
you know what they do?
371
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,481
They cremate you.
372
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,773
Put you in a plastic bag
373
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:08,186
and throw you over
in a file cabinet.
374
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,486
Unless you're an unknown.
375
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,620
And then you get buried so
they can identify you later.
376
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,949
Stupid unknowns. They
get everything good.
377
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:19,496
I'm sorry, Silas.
378
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,119
Oh, don't be sorry.
379
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:24,916
When I win the 20 grand,
I'm gonna have a real burial
380
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,461
and a tombstone.
381
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,924
"Here lies Silas Humphries,
382
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,684
"treasurer of the Scott
Lake Business Council.
383
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,387
"Coauthored a report that
convinced the Dolphins
384
00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,388
to build Joe Robbie Stadium
at its current location."
385
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,617
- Very long.
- It's a lot of information
386
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,561
- for a tombstone.
- It's a bit clunky.
387
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,522
- Yeah...
- I just want people to know
388
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,812
that my life meant something.
389
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,151
- How far is this doctor?
- I don't know.
390
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,380
The mall's, like,
ten minutes away.
391
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,994
The mall?
392
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,537
Okay, now, before you meet her,
393
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,787
I do have to come clean.
394
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:00,869
You were right.
395
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,794
I'm not really
friends with Tasha.
396
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:06,342
She rode in my Uber, and I
thought we really hit it off.
397
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:07,668
But she never responded
398
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,092
to any of the follow-up
texts I ever sent her.
399
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,301
I don't care if she's
your friend, Jillian G.
400
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,342
I care that she works
next to a Wetzel's.
401
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,756
Okay, wow. That is crazy.
402
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,305
It really is.
403
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:20,428
Do you know what else is crazy?
404
00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,577
The fact that you
and I never hung out
405
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,351
after we totally hit it off.
406
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,605
I mean, I idled at
your destination
407
00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,017
for, like, six
minutes so we could
408
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,459
finish our conversation.
409
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,693
- Remember?
- I think I was drunk.
410
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,315
Right, that makes sense.
411
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,862
That's so Tasha.
412
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,633
Can we hurry up and get
this thing off me, please?
413
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,947
Yeah, let me just fire up
the cool sculpting machine.
414
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,742
Cool sculpting machine?
415
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,906
Yeah, well, it's made
for fat-freezing,
416
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:44,285
but I think I can probably
get the snake real cold
417
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,882
and then just crack it off.
418
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,537
But no, no, you gotta
give me anesthesia
419
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:48,625
and then sew me back up.
420
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,630
Yeah, this is a med spa.
421
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,592
I was really only trained
for the cool sculpting.
422
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,632
It was, like, a two-day
seminar in Boca.
423
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,426
That's why I get to
wear this cool coat.
424
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,316
- Fuck this. I'm out.
- Take me to a real doctor.
425
00:18:58,346 --> 00:18:59,886
- Tasha is a real doctor.
- No.
426
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,311
We're not allowed to
represent ourselves that way.
427
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,890
They were very clear
about that in Boca.
428
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,413
- This is crazy.
- I should've never let you
429
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:06,539
talk me out of the ambulance.
430
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,581
I was just trying to be helpful.
431
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,395
You were trying to replace me.
432
00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,031
Look, you have to
get over that, Silas.
433
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,237
But why, though?
434
00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,796
Why you want me to be
your partner so bad?
435
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,240
We barely even know each other.
436
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,570
I just... really need money.
437
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:18,945
Every day is so stressful,
438
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,622
and I know I can't win
this thing on my own
439
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,330
or with fucking Silas.
440
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,370
But then you came along,
441
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,623
and I guess I just don't have
442
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,504
that many people in
my life right now,
443
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:27,751
except for Tasha.
444
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,292
I literally don't
know your name.
445
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,626
Her name is Jillian G.,
446
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,550
and I'm sorry your
life is stressful.
447
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,169
But my life is stressful too.
448
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,465
It's only gotten more stressful
449
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,928
since the moment
I got in your car.
450
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,112
You might be the
most stressful person
451
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,466
I ever met in my life.
452
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,272
So now you're gonna drive
me back to Camille's,
453
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,727
and I'ma return her car.
454
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:46,137
Then I'ma get in a cab
and go to the hospital
455
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,976
like a normal person.
456
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,061
All right. Sorry.
457
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,565
Let's go to Camille's.
Who's Camille?
458
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:55,148
- My ex-wife!
- Right. Okay. Context clues.
459
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,485
I'll call you, Tasha.
460
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,996
I'm sorry about earlier.
461
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,459
I just thought you were
trying to steal my partner.
462
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,961
You can have
some... if you want.
463
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,967
Jangle, jangle.
464
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,778
- I'm sorry.
- My meeting ran long.
465
00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:38,149
- It's my fault.
- I made us stop for milkshakes.
466
00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:41,316
We finished them and threw
away the cups and napkins.
467
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,576
I'm Jillian, by the way.
468
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,498
These are my colleagues
from my new job.
469
00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,037
It's a pretty great job.
470
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,273
I'd go into it, but I don't
want Marco to feel threatened.
471
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,875
- What's she saying?
- Is she buying it?
472
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,460
She still looks really upset.
473
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,165
She can read lips, Jillian G.,
474
00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,335
and Marco can fully hear you.
475
00:20:58,383 --> 00:20:59,433
Who's Marco?
476
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,677
Wait. Context clues.
477
00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:04,434
I know who Marco is.
478
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,602
- Okay, you met Jillian.
- We had small talk.
479
00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:08,391
Marco offered nothing.
480
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:11,095
Now to just shut the door.
481
00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,484
What the fuck is that?
482
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,775
It's a Burmese python, Marco.
483
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,069
I'm doing this snake-hunting
contest for money,
484
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,590
and I accidentally
nailed it to my hand.
485
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,874
I know. I've been lying all day.
486
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:24,908
I'm the asshole.
487
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,748
Yeah, I'm
goin' to the hospital.
488
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,289
I'll be fine. It's okay.
489
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:32,542
You can yell at me.
490
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,301
What? No, be angry.
491
00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:38,416
You're supposed to be angry.
492
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,092
I don't need help.
493
00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,844
I need you to be angry
494
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,636
because you expect more from me.
495
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,437
Like when a dog eats chocolate?
496
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:53,439
That's how you see me?
497
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,190
I'm an adult man
498
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:56,781
with a legitimate career plan.
499
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,316
I don't want your pity.
500
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,950
If you're not gonna
yell at me, I'm leavin'.
501
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:03,910
Let's go, Jillian.
502
00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,528
Let's go, Silas.
503
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,825
Silas.
504
00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:08,789
Silas!
505
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,285
Fuck.
506
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,793
He dead.
507
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,097
Can you bag this
up for us, please?
508
00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:30,180
Sure.
509
00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:31,452
I understand you
knew the deceased.
510
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,936
- Yeah, we were...
- We didn't know him at all.
511
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,148
Met him this morning. Never
even got his real name.
512
00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:38,609
He just wanted us
to call him Pops.
513
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,780
So there's nothing you
can tell me about him...
514
00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:42,213
Where he lived, where
his family's at?
515
00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:44,567
No. He just said, "I'm Pops,"
516
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,204
and those were the last
words he ever spoke.
517
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:49,662
Well, I'll be back to
take your info down
518
00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,003
in case there are
more questions.
519
00:22:51,037 --> 00:22:54,787
- Happy to be of service.
- Take care of Pops for us!
520
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,333
What was that?
521
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,876
I took Silas' wallet
before they got here,
522
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,880
so he has no ID on him.
523
00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:02,512
He's officially an unknown,
524
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:05,139
so now he can be
buried like he wanted.
525
00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:07,386
Okay, but what about his pills?
526
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:09,391
Didn't the bottle in his
pocket have his name on it?
527
00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,103
Oh, shit.
528
00:23:13,143 --> 00:23:15,563
I'll go grab 'em. You
create a distraction.
529
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:18,193
- Create a distraction?
- You'll be great.
530
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,647
Hello.
531
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:25,664
Hey, I just remembered
some more stuff about Pops.
532
00:23:25,697 --> 00:23:27,407
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
533
00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:31,749
He said he was
born in Tennessee.
534
00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:32,996
Did he say where in Tennessee?
535
00:23:33,038 --> 00:23:36,248
- He did.
- I ju... I can't remember where.
536
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,251
Maybe you could name
some places in Tennessee,
537
00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:39,463
jog my memory.
538
00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:40,502
Nashville?
539
00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:41,875
No, it wasn't nothing like that.
540
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,381
- Memphis?
- Oh, don't be silly.
541
00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:48,221
Can you name some
street addresses?
542
00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:49,851
Street addresses in Tennessee?
543
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:51,032
Yeah, it was a weird number,
544
00:23:51,056 --> 00:23:53,556
something I never
thought could be a house.
545
00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:57,940
Hey, that junkie's stealing
drugs from a corpse!
546
00:23:57,979 --> 00:23:58,979
No, I wasn't!
547
00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:00,522
That's not what was happening!
548
00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:02,435
I wasn't stealing drugs!
549
00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:04,574
I was just...
550
00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:07,031
I just wanted to touch
this dead man's dick!
551
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,027
No law against that!
552
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,744
There definitely is.
553
00:24:10,784 --> 00:24:14,584
- Right, yeah.
- So I was stealing drugs.
554
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:17,751
But I'll just put
them back right now.
555
00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:20,791
There they are. Back.
556
00:24:22,837 --> 00:24:24,877
No! Come back here!
557
00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:49,987
Almost there.
558
00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:54,907
Jillian G.
559
00:24:54,953 --> 00:24:56,663
Hey.
560
00:24:56,705 --> 00:24:57,955
What are you doing here?
561
00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,417
I brought your house back.
562
00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:00,977
Plus, I wanted to see how
much trouble you were in.
563
00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:04,461
It's only a misdemeanor since
Silas can't press charges.
564
00:25:04,504 --> 00:25:06,924
It's actually a good loophole,
stealing from a corpse.
565
00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:08,925
You mean grave robbing?
566
00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:10,337
I guess I do mean grave robbing.
567
00:25:10,385 --> 00:25:12,175
Grave robbing is a life hack.
568
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:14,680
Yeah, well, anyway,
569
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:16,223
you were right.
570
00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:17,976
I obviously can't do this alone,
571
00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:21,858
and since you're
without a partner now,
572
00:25:21,896 --> 00:25:25,686
I came to see if you're still
interested in teamin' up.
573
00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:27,074
Really?
574
00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,860
I thought I was the
most stressful person
575
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,283
you've ever met.
576
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:32,741
That was before I saw
what you did for Silas.
577
00:25:32,782 --> 00:25:33,912
That was pretty cool.
578
00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:37,002
Thank you.
579
00:25:39,247 --> 00:25:41,747
You know I didn't
actually touch his dick.
580
00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:43,961
I meant about the pills.
581
00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:46,002
You knew him for,
like, 12 hours,
582
00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:48,206
and he was kind of an asshole,
583
00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:50,086
and you were still
willing to go to jail
584
00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:52,013
just to help him out.
585
00:25:52,052 --> 00:25:53,722
I just wanted him to get buried
586
00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:55,762
so his life meant something.
587
00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:58,305
But I guess he's still not
gonna get that tombstone.
588
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:02,060
I actually had a
thought about that.
589
00:26:12,655 --> 00:26:14,945
Ooh, that was a good day.
590
00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:18,661
- Great day.
- See you tomorrow, partner!
591
00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:19,753
Partner.
592
00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:33,085
- Craig.
- Oh, hey, Mr. Palimides.
593
00:26:33,134 --> 00:26:35,974
- Can I talk to you?
- Yeah, what's goin' on?
594
00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:38,642
I need to show you something.
595
00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:41,432
- Is that your apartment?
596
00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:44,846
Are you making pornography
in my building?
597
00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:47,226
- No, no.
- That's not my apartment.
598
00:26:47,273 --> 00:26:48,334
I mean, I could see
where it looks like it
599
00:26:48,358 --> 00:26:49,528
'cause of the layout,
600
00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,817
but no, mine is
actually very different.
601
00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,614
What the fuck?
602
00:26:57,075 --> 00:26:58,905
I want you out by tomorrow.
603
00:27:03,248 --> 00:27:05,538
Fuck.
604
00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:33,416
Not a doctor. Shh.
42708
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