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♪ Crazy is when I go off the rails ♪
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♪ This is what you've done to me ♪
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♪ Crazy is how your
loving makes me feel ♪
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♪ This is what I always want to be ♪
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♪ I like it when a
girl gets crazy in bed ♪
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♪ Don't mess with the bitch
who's crazy in the head ♪
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- ♪ You do ♪
- ♪ You don't ♪
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♪ Want to be crazy ♪
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- ♪ And you don't ♪
- ♪ You do ♪
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♪ Want to be crazy ♪
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♪ To clarify, yes,
no, on the crazy ♪
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♪ We hope this helps. ♪
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What?
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-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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Mr. Plimpton Sr., how
wonderful to see you!
17
00:00:44,318 --> 00:00:47,052
- Pop, you're here.
- Were you asleep?
18
00:00:47,077 --> 00:00:51,251
- Were you feeling ti-ti?
- No, I was, um, I was... sick?
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00:00:51,276 --> 00:00:52,244
AUDRA: Hello, Bert.
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00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,517
How long have you been a
diagnosed schizophrenic?
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00:00:53,542 --> 00:00:54,708
16 years.
22
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,208
DARRYL: Maybe having a baby
23
00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:59,339
started out as a whim, but it's
what I want for my life now.
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00:00:59,364 --> 00:01:01,677
You don't want a baby, maybe not ever.
25
00:01:02,059 --> 00:01:03,365
This is not Josh's fault.
26
00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:04,759
It's not even about Josh.
27
00:01:05,171 --> 00:01:05,961
Maybe it never was.
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00:01:05,963 --> 00:01:07,162
JOSH: I'm spiraling.
29
00:01:07,164 --> 00:01:09,698
I feel like there's no ground
under me, you know?
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I'm here for you.
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00:01:12,336 --> 00:01:14,736
(Rebecca moaning)
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_
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(moans softly)
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- Whoa. Good morning.
- (giggles): Hi.
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00:01:25,481 --> 00:01:26,681
Hi, how are you?
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I am so great.
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(chuckles)
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Hey.
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I have an idea.
40
00:01:33,641 --> 00:01:36,817
Why don't you... take the day off today
41
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:40,575
and let's do something fun like...
42
00:01:40,841 --> 00:01:42,541
go to Raging Waters.
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00:01:42,543 --> 00:01:45,544
Oh, I'd love to if water
parks weren't disgusting.
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00:01:45,546 --> 00:01:47,479
Oh... And I have a deposition today.
45
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But, then tonight, I'm
taking you to a fancy dinner
46
00:01:50,217 --> 00:01:51,317
in Beverly Hills.
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00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,551
(squeals): What?
48
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Yeah, I made reservations.
49
00:01:53,554 --> 00:01:54,687
It's a bit of schlep, but...
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(laughs) Wait, since when
51
00:01:55,890 --> 00:01:57,089
do you use the word schlep?
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00:01:57,091 --> 00:01:58,691
Oh, well, I've been
watching a lot of Seinfeld.
53
00:01:58,693 --> 00:01:59,992
I have a Jewish girlfriend, after all.
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(squeals): Girlfriend?!
55
00:02:01,028 --> 00:02:02,995
Wow, you are squealing a lot today.
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00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,730
(squeals): Only 'cause
you're such a mensch.
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00:02:04,732 --> 00:02:06,532
- Oh, oh, this again, okay.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:07,700
Oh, all right.
59
00:02:07,702 --> 00:02:10,069
(both moaning)
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(shower running)
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How's your shower?
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He can't hear me, it's fine.
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(sighs contently)
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00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,745
(birds chirping)
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(chuckles)
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(sniffs)
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00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:37,096
Oh,
Nathan-ay-el.
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I scooped up his shirt and I smelled it.
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00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,800
But I didn't just smell it,
I-I buried my whole face in it.
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00:02:41,802 --> 00:02:43,635
And it smelled so good.
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00:02:43,637 --> 00:02:45,537
It smelled like the
yummiest parts of his armpit.
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- I wanted to live in it.
- Don't panic.
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Okay? You felt intimacy
and affection, that's okay.
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00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,177
But is it, though? For me,
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00:02:52,179 --> 00:02:53,679
first it starts out as
intimacy and affection
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00:02:53,681 --> 00:02:55,013
and then I get one little love kernel...
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00:02:55,015 --> 00:02:56,648
That's what I call them...
And the next thing you know,
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00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:58,217
you know, I'm buying a
shrub costume and hanging
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00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,919
someone's teddy bear from a
closet rod by a karate belt.
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00:03:00,921 --> 00:03:02,621
- What?
- We'll talk about that later.
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00:03:02,623 --> 00:03:04,038
The point is,
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I am worried how much I'm into this guy.
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Is it bad? Is-is-is it bad?
Please tell me it's not bad.
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00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:10,796
It feels so good, but is it bad?
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00:03:10,798 --> 00:03:12,264
Rebecca, you're here.
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00:03:12,266 --> 00:03:14,967
You're in therapy, working
hard, addressing your issues.
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00:03:14,969 --> 00:03:16,902
Okay, all you have to
do is slow down a bit.
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00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:19,371
Just be mindful as you get
to know Nathaniel better.
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00:03:19,396 --> 00:03:21,707
Okay, be mindful as I
get to know him better.
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00:03:21,709 --> 00:03:22,738
I can do that.
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00:03:22,763 --> 00:03:24,430
Just one more thing.
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Oh, lord.
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00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,548
Is it bad that I'm wearing this?
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It's not great.
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PAULA: Hey, Darryl. You ready?
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00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:37,776
We got some things to go
over before the deposition.
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00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,999
What is that? Is that a hooker catalog?
98
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:41,767
It's not safe for work, buddy.
99
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,380
Hey, while I'm busting
your balls, I got to say,
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00:03:44,972 --> 00:03:46,987
it stinks in here.
101
00:03:47,012 --> 00:03:49,222
The taxidermy, the hides, the feathers.
102
00:03:49,247 --> 00:03:51,514
There's so much dead Southwestern stuff
103
00:03:51,516 --> 00:03:53,750
here, it's like CSI: New Mexico.
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This is my heritage.
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00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,186
Honey, if you bought it at a
gas station, it ain't heritage.
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So, can you put away the
hooker book and let's go.
107
00:03:59,715 --> 00:04:01,096
This is not a hooker book.
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00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:02,520
In and amongst these pages
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00:04:02,522 --> 00:04:04,840
is the potential mother of my child.
110
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:06,457
You mean, a surrogate?
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00:04:06,504 --> 00:04:08,638
No, the surrogate is a nice lady
112
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,341
from Chino Hills whose already done this
for a few other families.
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These are the egg donors.
114
00:04:13,941 --> 00:04:17,041
These are the women whose DNA
I'm gonna be commingling with.
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00:04:17,066 --> 00:04:19,176
Wow, Darryl.
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00:04:20,488 --> 00:04:22,346
I got to say, I am proud of you.
117
00:04:22,371 --> 00:04:23,904
I thought after your breakup,
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00:04:23,906 --> 00:04:25,660
you would just dissolve into a puddle,
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00:04:25,685 --> 00:04:28,008
but you are forging ahead all alone.
120
00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:30,210
That's exactly the problem.
121
00:04:30,212 --> 00:04:32,479
I feel like I'm picking
a future for this baby
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00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,191
and it's all on me.
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00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:35,826
What if I pick the wrong person?
124
00:04:36,371 --> 00:04:39,207
- What if I mess this up?
- (sighs)
125
00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:41,532
I am trying not to meddle
in people's lives so much,
126
00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:43,190
but I can see you need help.
127
00:04:43,192 --> 00:04:45,993
Also, catalog shopping
and judging people
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00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:47,895
are two of my best events, so...
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00:04:47,897 --> 00:04:50,230
(laughs) why don't I
just pull up a tom-tom
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00:04:50,232 --> 00:04:54,001
and take a look.
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00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,669
(clears throat) That's
a priceless antique.
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00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:58,739
Oh, please, I know off-price
retail when I see it.
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00:04:59,574 --> 00:05:02,683
Oh, this is easy. Here we go.
134
00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:04,933
Okay, rapid-fire:
135
00:05:05,147 --> 00:05:06,801
Crooked nose, snaggletooth,
136
00:05:06,832 --> 00:05:08,769
from Nevada, weird mole,
137
00:05:08,988 --> 00:05:11,151
dumb scarf, likes cats,
138
00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:13,454
dimple on one side, clearly drunk,
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00:05:13,456 --> 00:05:15,155
no chin, sloping chin,
140
00:05:15,157 --> 00:05:16,760
three chins, vegetarian.
141
00:05:16,785 --> 00:05:19,268
Oh, my God, I didn't
notice all these bad things.
142
00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:20,861
I don't want my child to go through life
143
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,729
with something like just one dimple.
144
00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:24,598
It's already gonna have just one parent.
145
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:27,634
Aw, Darryl. Darryl,
don't worry about that.
146
00:05:27,636 --> 00:05:29,536
I mean, yeah, okay, they'll
only have one parent,
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00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,605
but... it's a good one.
148
00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:33,207
You think I'm a good parent?
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00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:34,374
I do.
150
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,376
You know, the first time
I saw you with Madison,
151
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,444
you know what I thought?
152
00:05:37,446 --> 00:05:40,465
“Oh, this is what he's good at”"
153
00:05:41,457 --> 00:05:44,751
Hey, when do we get to go
through the guy catalog?
154
00:05:44,974 --> 00:05:46,160
What do you mean?
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00:05:46,185 --> 00:05:47,588
I'm providing all the guy stuff.
156
00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:48,520
Really?
157
00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:51,959
So... all your stuff still works?
158
00:05:51,961 --> 00:05:53,393
It's not expired?
159
00:05:53,942 --> 00:05:55,562
Well, I don't know.
160
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,897
I mean...
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00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,065
they haven't tested it yet.
162
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,334
Oh, my God, what if my guy stuff is bad?
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00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:01,535
I didn't even think of that.
164
00:06:01,537 --> 00:06:02,778
Tell you what.
165
00:06:02,803 --> 00:06:05,906
You go to the doctor right
now, get your mayonnaise tested.
166
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,989
While you are doing that, I...
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00:06:08,143 --> 00:06:11,785
will find us... the right girl.
168
00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:13,914
Don't we have to go to the deposition?
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00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,549
Oh. (groans)
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00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:16,650
You go.
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00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:18,252
That is boring compared to this.
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00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:21,477
This is a chance to
create the ultimate human.
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00:06:21,876 --> 00:06:23,156
(laughs diabolically)
174
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:24,697
Get out. Go.
175
00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:28,073
Oh... Mmm...
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00:06:28,731 --> 00:06:30,764
That was really good
Italian food tonight.
177
00:06:31,118 --> 00:06:33,617
Ooh. You know what was even better?
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00:06:34,203 --> 00:06:36,270
I'm gonna say the sex we just had.
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00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:37,867
- Yep.
- Mmm.
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00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,109
Hey, I was thinking about it and...
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00:06:42,044 --> 00:06:43,766
I want to get to know each other better.
182
00:06:43,891 --> 00:06:46,046
Outside of the, the sex.
183
00:06:46,048 --> 00:06:48,909
Okay, yeah, let's do it.
184
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:50,250
Yeah. Uh, all right.
185
00:06:50,252 --> 00:06:51,952
Let me think of a question for you.
186
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,754
Um...
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00:06:53,756 --> 00:06:55,389
Ooh! Okay, here's one.
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00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:58,357
- Tell me about your childhood.
- Well, I don't know,
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00:06:58,382 --> 00:06:59,726
I don't think we need
to talk about that.
190
00:06:59,728 --> 00:07:01,495
Oh, no, no, please, tell me.
191
00:07:01,497 --> 00:07:04,581
I want to know, what was little
Nathaniel's life like? Hmm?
192
00:07:05,253 --> 00:07:08,096
Well, um, okay, my parents...
193
00:07:08,121 --> 00:07:11,081
are... not super warm.
194
00:07:11,106 --> 00:07:13,240
Um, I was kind of a lonely kid.
195
00:07:13,242 --> 00:07:14,341
I didn't have any siblings.
196
00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:15,842
I was good friends with the gardener,
197
00:07:15,844 --> 00:07:17,875
which is why I hablo español.
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00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,246
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
199
00:07:19,248 --> 00:07:21,915
I'm just picturing,
like, little Nathaniel
200
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:24,651
wandering around, little-little bow tie
201
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,753
and knee socks like Prince George.
202
00:07:26,755 --> 00:07:28,322
(chuckles) Okay, well, it wasn't so bad.
203
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,680
My mom and I, uh, we actually
have a pretty good relationship.
204
00:07:30,705 --> 00:07:33,560
Um... my dad and I...
205
00:07:33,562 --> 00:07:34,861
not so much.
206
00:07:34,863 --> 00:07:36,630
Our relationship consists mainly
207
00:07:36,632 --> 00:07:39,071
of him glowering and me cowering.
208
00:07:39,431 --> 00:07:41,331
Sometimes I wish we were closer.
209
00:07:41,537 --> 00:07:42,618
You know?
210
00:07:42,643 --> 00:07:44,710
Or close at all.
211
00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:48,220
Or like, knew each other.
212
00:07:49,645 --> 00:07:53,981
Wow, I've, uh, I've
never said that to anyone.
213
00:07:53,983 --> 00:07:55,329
Really?
214
00:07:55,354 --> 00:07:57,184
I mean, I've talked to Esteban about it,
215
00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,553
but I've never had a
girlfriend who, you know,
216
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:00,918
wants to get to know me like you do.
217
00:08:01,309 --> 00:08:03,667
Well, have you talked to
your father about this?
218
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,125
Have you told him you
wish you were closer?
219
00:08:05,127 --> 00:08:06,159
You should tell him.
220
00:08:06,161 --> 00:08:07,394
No, God, I could never.
221
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:09,296
He should know how sweet you are.
222
00:08:09,298 --> 00:08:10,731
- Am I?
- Yes.
223
00:08:10,764 --> 00:08:12,610
Wow, it's crazy that you think that.
224
00:08:12,635 --> 00:08:13,934
I just... (sighs)
225
00:08:13,936 --> 00:08:16,269
I just wish there was some
way for your father to know
226
00:08:16,271 --> 00:08:18,505
how wonderful you are.
227
00:08:18,806 --> 00:08:20,407
PAULA: She's perfect.
228
00:08:20,409 --> 00:08:21,908
Look.
229
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,845
Number 456H76.
230
00:08:24,847 --> 00:08:26,380
I have been through this entire book
231
00:08:26,382 --> 00:08:28,315
and she is the only acceptable one.
232
00:08:28,317 --> 00:08:30,384
College educated, doesn't
smoke, left-handed...
233
00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:32,219
That means creative. When
asked for their pastimes,
234
00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:34,221
she's the only one who did not
mention the beach or her dog
235
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,689
or going to the beach with her dog.
236
00:08:35,691 --> 00:08:37,524
Also, no duck lips, no contouring,
237
00:08:37,526 --> 00:08:40,494
no fake eyelashes, no
posing on a flamingo float.
238
00:08:40,496 --> 00:08:41,754
She is the one.
239
00:08:42,301 --> 00:08:43,764
I don't even have a second choice.
240
00:08:43,766 --> 00:08:45,799
Oh, yeah, she looks nice.
241
00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:47,534
She's got kind eyes.
242
00:08:47,786 --> 00:08:49,362
Your welcome.
243
00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:52,101
Yeah!
244
00:08:52,126 --> 00:08:55,694
Hello. I would like to place
an order for Mr. Whitefeather.
245
00:08:55,719 --> 00:09:00,714
We would like one egg
from number 456H76, please.
246
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:05,953
What do you mean it's not available?
247
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:13,226
So, you have it, but I can't have it?
248
00:09:15,228 --> 00:09:17,295
Do you have the egg or not?
249
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:20,608
(yells): It's in the...
250
00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:22,342
It's in the catalog.
251
00:09:22,819 --> 00:09:23,914
(groans)
252
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,338
It's unbelievable.
253
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:27,239
Apparently these women can
just opt out of being donors
254
00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:29,242
whenever they want,
even though their eggs
255
00:09:29,244 --> 00:09:31,011
are still in the vault.
256
00:09:31,013 --> 00:09:33,438
Oh, it's so unfair, frustrating.
257
00:09:33,882 --> 00:09:35,482
♪ Coffee time George ♪
258
00:09:35,484 --> 00:09:37,184
♪ Time for George's coffee ♪
259
00:09:37,186 --> 00:09:39,219
♪ A little time just for George? ♪
260
00:09:39,221 --> 00:09:41,088
♪ He's gonna make himself a cup ♪
261
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:43,857
- ♪ He's gonna drink it up, he's... ♪
- REBECCA: Psst.
262
00:09:43,859 --> 00:09:45,759
Oh, hey, Rebecca.
263
00:09:45,761 --> 00:09:47,694
How are you? It's good to see you.
264
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:49,563
Shut up. Just meet me
in the bathroom now.
265
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:51,565
Ladies', mens', what's happening?
266
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,533
- (Rebecca sighs)
- What are you doing?
267
00:09:53,535 --> 00:09:55,784
I mean, why are we sneaking around?
268
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,004
Okay, listen.
269
00:09:58,029 --> 00:09:58,979
Cool. No one's here.
270
00:09:59,004 --> 00:10:00,507
I don't work here anymore
271
00:10:00,509 --> 00:10:02,142
and I just can't deal with
people right now, being like,
272
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,977
“Oh, how are you? Are
you feeling better?”
273
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,445
And, “I'm glad you're not dead”"
274
00:10:05,447 --> 00:10:07,694
and, “If you were so depressed,
why didn't you lose weight?”
275
00:10:07,719 --> 00:10:09,649
(gasps) I don't think
anybody would say that.
276
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,485
I like your very normal body.
277
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,753
I think it's brave.
278
00:10:12,755 --> 00:10:14,154
Blech. Okay.
279
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,156
Point is, I just can't
deal with people right now.
280
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,992
But, I need you to do something for me.
281
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:21,595
I don't have access to the
company database anymore
282
00:10:21,597 --> 00:10:24,965
and I need you to forward
me Nathaniel Sr.'s calendar.
283
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:26,233
I'll tell you why. I'm gonna
284
00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:29,002
accidentally... on purpose...
Run into Nathaniel Sr.
285
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,571
So I can repair his
relationship with Nathaniel.
286
00:10:32,127 --> 00:10:33,607
He needs to know how wonderful
287
00:10:33,609 --> 00:10:36,443
and sweet and thoughtful Nathaniel is.
288
00:10:36,445 --> 00:10:39,679
- My Nathaniel?
- Yes, our Nathaniel!
289
00:10:40,287 --> 00:10:42,849
For instance, he always makes sure
290
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,559
that I am taken care of
first, if you get my drift,
291
00:10:45,584 --> 00:10:47,821
and his dad needs to
know things like that.
292
00:10:47,823 --> 00:10:50,086
Okay. Yeah, no, I don't
think this is a good idea.
293
00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:51,117
Shut up!
294
00:10:52,094 --> 00:10:54,004
I'm sorry. That was mean.
295
00:10:54,782 --> 00:10:56,062
Shut up.
296
00:10:56,087 --> 00:10:58,305
Just get me Nathaniel Sr.'s calendar.
297
00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:00,148
I don't think that's a good idea.
298
00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:03,403
It is an invasion of privacy,
and I don't work for you.
299
00:11:03,405 --> 00:11:04,671
Okay, you know what? I respect that.
300
00:11:04,673 --> 00:11:06,106
It's just, if you don't do this,
301
00:11:06,108 --> 00:11:07,284
I will try to kill myself again,
302
00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:09,440
and this time, I'll succeed,
and the note will blame you.
303
00:11:09,578 --> 00:11:11,077
Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay, so,
304
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:12,712
come on, scurry and
get it. (snaps fingers)
305
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,282
Otherwise, uh, uh...
(imitates rope pull, gunshot)
306
00:11:15,315 --> 00:11:17,081
Oh, my God. I'm just...
307
00:11:26,776 --> 00:11:28,076
(sighs)
308
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,400
Joshua, darling,
309
00:11:29,425 --> 00:11:30,925
this is not great.
310
00:11:30,927 --> 00:11:33,067
You haven't packed at all.
311
00:11:33,102 --> 00:11:36,811
You're moving out, and this
closet is still full of junk.
312
00:11:37,927 --> 00:11:38,999
(sighs): Oh.
313
00:11:39,024 --> 00:11:42,926
You know I need this whole room
for my in-home daycare business.
314
00:11:42,928 --> 00:11:44,428
This is the toddler room.
315
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,630
The muralist is coming on Monday.
316
00:11:46,632 --> 00:11:48,899
(sighs) She's painting a wonderful
317
00:11:48,901 --> 00:11:50,534
dolphin scene.
318
00:11:50,536 --> 00:11:52,169
Dolphins? Are you kidding?!
319
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:55,205
You never let me have a dolphin
mural, and I love dolphins.
320
00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:56,618
They're the princes of the sea.
321
00:11:56,643 --> 00:11:59,011
When I was a toddler, I just had walls.
322
00:12:00,145 --> 00:12:02,009
Why are you making me move?
323
00:12:02,191 --> 00:12:03,924
I don't want to move.
324
00:12:03,949 --> 00:12:06,883
But I need this room,
sweetheart. You know that.
325
00:12:06,885 --> 00:12:08,485
And it will be so fun
326
00:12:08,487 --> 00:12:10,552
living with Hector and his mother.
327
00:12:10,823 --> 00:12:12,856
She lives near Souplantation.
328
00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:15,025
You love Souplantation.
329
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:17,088
I'm just going through a tough time.
330
00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:18,762
Too much change.
331
00:12:18,764 --> 00:12:20,864
I'm still on probation with Aloha,
332
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:23,172
I had to quit Home Base
after my zit explosion.
333
00:12:23,197 --> 00:12:24,468
And I went through
334
00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:26,236
this really intense thing with Rebecca,
335
00:12:26,238 --> 00:12:29,782
who, come to find out,
never really cared about me.
336
00:12:30,276 --> 00:12:32,009
I'm in a lot of flux.
337
00:12:33,265 --> 00:12:34,845
(whining): Flux!
338
00:12:34,847 --> 00:12:36,546
Josh, please.
339
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,968
Just pack the closet, my sweetheart.
340
00:12:38,993 --> 00:12:41,585
(sighs)
341
00:12:43,776 --> 00:12:45,289
REBECCA: I think I can really
342
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:47,124
bring Nathaniel and
his dad closer together.
343
00:12:47,126 --> 00:12:49,459
You know, bridge the
gap between them, and
344
00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:51,461
I have such a great plan for doing that.
345
00:12:51,486 --> 00:12:54,364
- Hmm. I wonder about that.
- What?
346
00:12:54,366 --> 00:12:55,855
It feels like you're putting
yourself out there again.
347
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,701
No, I'm being very mindful,
like we talked about.
348
00:12:57,703 --> 00:12:59,486
And I'm using the exact tools
349
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:01,071
that we have all learned here
350
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,980
in group therapy with my friends,
351
00:13:03,005 --> 00:13:06,410
Lana and Clarice and Bert
352
00:13:06,412 --> 00:13:08,745
- and Jo... illson.
- Rick.
353
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,609
My name is Rick. I tell you every week.
354
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:11,546
You full-on forgot his name.
355
00:13:11,571 --> 00:13:13,150
Yes, I did, but Rick,
356
00:13:13,152 --> 00:13:14,651
I mean, doesn't even know my name,
357
00:13:14,653 --> 00:13:16,063
and he barely shows an interest in me.
358
00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:17,727
If you ask me, your over-involvement
359
00:13:17,752 --> 00:13:20,594
in your dude's life is very
problematic, Rebecca Nora Bunch.
360
00:13:20,619 --> 00:13:22,025
- Oh...
- (laughs)
361
00:13:22,027 --> 00:13:24,628
- BERT: Snap.
- Didn't you tell us other stories
362
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,330
about you trying to run into people?
363
00:13:26,332 --> 00:13:29,482
If you ask me, the whole
thing sounds very “O”"
364
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,514
“O”?
365
00:13:30,539 --> 00:13:32,806
Oh. No, Lana, it's not O-bsessive.
366
00:13:32,831 --> 00:13:35,977
I agree with L. Seems “O.” B-T O.
367
00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:39,086
Can we just use real words?
Is that so much to ask?
368
00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:40,008
BERT: Listen, Rebecca,
369
00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:42,412
I know how easy it is to get obsessed.
370
00:13:42,414 --> 00:13:44,181
I also get intense about stuff.
371
00:13:44,183 --> 00:13:45,582
I get very maniacally
372
00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:47,584
fixated on things, and
that's why they thought
373
00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:49,152
that I was a paranoid schizophrenic,
374
00:13:49,154 --> 00:13:50,554
but they were obviously wrong.
375
00:13:50,556 --> 00:13:51,755
I am borderline,
376
00:13:51,757 --> 00:13:54,057
and that's why I can't
trust them or anyone else,
377
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:55,176
because they're all out to get me!
378
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,895
Bert, hey, hi. Look at
me. Let's take a breath.
379
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,560
Were you saying that to him or me?
'Cause you were looking right at me.
380
00:14:00,562 --> 00:14:02,423
I don't need to take a breath.
Bert does,
381
00:14:02,439 --> 00:14:05,163
- and Rebecca definitely does.
- How dare you.
382
00:14:05,188 --> 00:14:08,406
I think we all need
to take a deep breath.
383
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,178
(all inhaling deeply)
384
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:12,660
(all exhaling)
385
00:14:13,402 --> 00:14:15,168
SHIN: That feels better.
386
00:14:15,426 --> 00:14:17,726
- Lana didn't breathe.
- You can't make me.
387
00:14:18,098 --> 00:14:19,728
Okay, everyone,
388
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:21,530
I hear you. I appreciate
everyone's advice,
389
00:14:21,532 --> 00:14:23,499
and I am being present and taking it in.
390
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:24,733
And Lana, it's true, okay?
391
00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:27,202
I did spy on people in the
past, and it was unhealthy,
392
00:14:27,204 --> 00:14:28,470
but this time, it's not that.
393
00:14:28,472 --> 00:14:29,571
I'm doing something nice
394
00:14:29,573 --> 00:14:31,517
for someone that I care about.
395
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,809
Which is okay, right, Dr. Shin?
396
00:14:33,811 --> 00:14:35,644
Doing nice things is fine.
397
00:14:35,646 --> 00:14:38,859
Overextending yourself because
you're idealizing someone
398
00:14:38,884 --> 00:14:40,548
is what I want you to keep an eye on.
399
00:14:40,573 --> 00:14:43,587
Okay. Okay, my eyes are
on that. My eyes are on me.
400
00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,298
Ah.
401
00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:50,426
Well, hello, number 456H76.
402
00:14:50,428 --> 00:14:52,580
(Paula laughs)
403
00:14:52,830 --> 00:14:55,564
Oh, it's too easy.
404
00:14:57,673 --> 00:14:58,634
Hi.
405
00:14:59,096 --> 00:15:01,497
I'm Paula. Do you have a second?
406
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,392
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.
407
00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:10,045
Oh, excuse me, Miss,
408
00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:11,739
do you have any magazines
with men in them?
409
00:15:11,764 --> 00:15:13,942
Sure. I'm so sorry.
410
00:15:15,739 --> 00:15:17,353
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
411
00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:19,488
I... I'd like to hang onto 'em both.
412
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:22,591
Oh, of course. Whatever brings
all your boys to the yard.
413
00:15:22,593 --> 00:15:24,067
Oh, thank you.
414
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,128
That is really
professional of you to say.
415
00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:28,130
(laughs)
416
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,504
GEORGE: What am I doing here?
417
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,568
I got you his schedule.
I want out of this scam.
418
00:15:32,570 --> 00:15:34,903
Well, sorry, but you're
my driver and my wingman
419
00:15:34,905 --> 00:15:36,805
and co-conspirator and my
suicide prevention buddy.
420
00:15:36,807 --> 00:15:38,941
What don't you understand
about this relationship?
421
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,309
Put on these pants.
422
00:15:40,311 --> 00:15:41,710
Just do it here right now.
423
00:15:41,712 --> 00:15:43,278
Well, I can go to the bathroom.
424
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,213
There's no time, and don't worry.
425
00:15:44,215 --> 00:15:45,280
I know what you got down there.
426
00:15:45,282 --> 00:15:46,482
I've seen plenty of them in my day.
427
00:15:46,484 --> 00:15:48,250
Well, I'm-I'm wearing
underwear, so you wouldn't...
428
00:15:48,252 --> 00:15:50,052
- Just put on the damn pants!
- Okay. Oh, well, no!
429
00:15:50,054 --> 00:15:51,820
What are we doing?
Where are we even going?
430
00:15:51,822 --> 00:15:54,823
I'm so sad I don't have the
ability to fire you right now.
431
00:15:54,825 --> 00:15:56,570
Tell me, or I'm out.
432
00:15:56,595 --> 00:15:58,961
Oh, really? 'Cause boop,
boop, glug, glug, glug.
433
00:15:58,963 --> 00:16:01,830
- “It was George. George made me do it”
- Then I'll do it, I'll do it.
434
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:05,434
REBECCA: Okay.
435
00:16:05,436 --> 00:16:07,169
So, Nathaniel Sr. Will
be here any second,
436
00:16:07,171 --> 00:16:08,869
and when he gets here,
I am going to walk over
437
00:16:08,894 --> 00:16:11,240
and just casually strike up
a conversation about golf.
438
00:16:11,242 --> 00:16:13,342
I stayed up all night watching
old Masters Tournaments,
439
00:16:13,367 --> 00:16:14,610
yeah, memorizing stats.
440
00:16:14,612 --> 00:16:16,812
Oh, here's one. For
instance, did you know
441
00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:18,947
that Arnold Palmer won 92 tournaments,
442
00:16:18,949 --> 00:16:20,549
and is not just a beverage?
443
00:16:20,551 --> 00:16:21,984
- (car door opens)
- Oh, there he is. There he is.
444
00:16:21,986 --> 00:16:23,185
Okay.
445
00:16:23,187 --> 00:16:24,553
Enjoy.
446
00:16:24,555 --> 00:16:27,057
REBECCA: Okay, he's not
really dressed for golf, but...
447
00:16:27,059 --> 00:16:29,301
All right, so we're
just gonna walk up to him
448
00:16:29,326 --> 00:16:30,859
and be like, “Oh, I think
449
00:16:30,861 --> 00:16:32,161
“you're Nathaniel Plimpton, Sr.
450
00:16:32,163 --> 00:16:34,263
I'm kind of dating
your son.” All right.
451
00:16:34,265 --> 00:16:35,864
Come on. Oh.
452
00:16:35,866 --> 00:16:37,299
Oh.
453
00:16:37,301 --> 00:16:39,368
Wait. He's walking the wrong way.
454
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:42,070
What? Where is he going?
455
00:16:42,072 --> 00:16:44,706
Ooh. Hmm?
456
00:16:47,445 --> 00:16:49,878
- Who the hell is that?
-(car door closes)
457
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,448
Where is Nathaniel Sr. going?
458
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,286
I don't know.
459
00:16:54,585 --> 00:16:57,352
It could be a drug deal or an affair.
460
00:16:57,354 --> 00:16:59,208
Probably ride-sharing app.
461
00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:01,590
All right, well, come
on. Let's follow him.
462
00:17:01,592 --> 00:17:02,724
What now?
463
00:17:02,726 --> 00:17:04,586
Well, if something weird is going on,
464
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:06,061
I have to get to the bottom of it.
465
00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:07,796
I owe it to Nathaniel, so, let's go.
466
00:17:07,798 --> 00:17:10,265
(sighing): Oh.
467
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:12,668
(sucks in through teeth)
468
00:17:12,670 --> 00:17:15,137
(sighs)
469
00:17:15,178 --> 00:17:17,628
Good-bye, baseball I
caught at Dodger Stadium.
470
00:17:19,376 --> 00:17:22,144
Good-bye, volleyball I
caught at Redondo Beach.
471
00:17:22,146 --> 00:17:24,146
(sniffs)
472
00:17:24,148 --> 00:17:26,882
Oh. Good-bye, tissue
from the cold I caught
473
00:17:26,884 --> 00:17:28,884
from the hot girl in algebra class.
474
00:17:28,886 --> 00:17:30,405
(laughing)
475
00:17:35,326 --> 00:17:38,061
Oh, man! Oh!
476
00:17:38,362 --> 00:17:39,905
(laughs)
477
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:42,764
Oh! I can't throw this out.
478
00:17:42,766 --> 00:17:45,522
This has all my favorite
karaoke tracks on it.
479
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,372
What? The batteries still work.
480
00:17:50,374 --> 00:17:52,441
(laughs)
481
00:17:52,443 --> 00:17:54,042
(whirring)
482
00:17:54,044 --> 00:17:56,512
- (chiming)
- “First Love!”
483
00:17:56,514 --> 00:17:58,847
Love this song.
484
00:18:01,244 --> 00:18:03,767
(echoes): Hello. Check, one, two, three.
485
00:18:04,288 --> 00:18:06,588
- Oh.
- (upbeat melody plays)
486
00:18:10,991 --> 00:18:15,294
MAN: ♪ Tonight I'm looking back ♪
487
00:18:16,102 --> 00:18:17,320
(laughs)
488
00:18:17,345 --> 00:18:20,269
♪ I'm watching the pains
flick across the flames ♪
489
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:24,273
♪ Of a million memories... ♪
490
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:26,308
You don't know me, but I
have a confession to make.
491
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:28,076
Does it have anything
to do with the fact
492
00:18:28,078 --> 00:18:29,945
- that you've been stalking me?
- What?
493
00:18:29,947 --> 00:18:33,215
I've seen you skulking around
the park for the past hour.
494
00:18:33,217 --> 00:18:36,018
I'm flattered, but I'm into men. Sorry.
495
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:38,118
Oh, no, no, no. No, no. I...
496
00:18:38,389 --> 00:18:40,289
I have to talk to you urgently.
497
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:43,132
So what is up with you taking
your eggs off the donor site?
498
00:18:43,157 --> 00:18:44,459
I have a dear friend who really, really,
499
00:18:44,461 --> 00:18:46,929
really wants to make
a baby with those eggs.
500
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:50,409
Okay, so this is not
appropriate or legal.
501
00:18:50,434 --> 00:18:53,128
So I'm just gonna reach for
my phone and call the police.
502
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:55,203
Oh, no, no, no! What do
you want? What do you want?
503
00:18:55,205 --> 00:18:58,355
Ooh! How about store credit
at an off-price retailer?
504
00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:00,059
I just returned a tom-tom thingie
505
00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:01,466
that you can kind of sit on.
506
00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:03,673
Okay, look, this is
none of your business,
507
00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:05,433
and I'm sorry for your friend,
508
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:08,031
but I'm not donating anymore.
509
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:12,214
I graduated, and I'm getting
married, and I'm moving on.
510
00:19:12,239 --> 00:19:14,570
But your picture is still there,
and we fell in love with you.
511
00:19:14,572 --> 00:19:16,159
And-and you already donated the egg!
512
00:19:16,184 --> 00:19:17,761
I mean, it's just sitting there on ice.
513
00:19:17,775 --> 00:19:19,875
All-all you have to
do is sign a release.
514
00:19:19,877 --> 00:19:22,375
Please, please, please
let us have the last one.
515
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,899
He needs it.
516
00:19:24,808 --> 00:19:26,508
Oh!
517
00:19:26,917 --> 00:19:29,117
(groans)
518
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,149
Mm!
519
00:19:31,622 --> 00:19:33,989
Oh, my God, I am so nervous.
520
00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:35,924
What if my swimmers are no good?
521
00:19:35,926 --> 00:19:37,763
What if I can never again climb
522
00:19:37,788 --> 00:19:39,954
the sacred mountain of fatherhood?
523
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:42,718
Are you, like, even listening?
524
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:45,799
I got the yank bank on the horn.
525
00:19:45,824 --> 00:19:47,536
- Oh, God.
- They're on line four.
526
00:19:47,942 --> 00:19:49,371
Give 'em your cell, would ya?
527
00:19:49,373 --> 00:19:51,006
I don't like to vomit at work.
528
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,421
Thanks for the update.
529
00:19:55,347 --> 00:19:56,490
This is Mr. Whitefeather.
530
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:58,359
What?
531
00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,792
Yes?
532
00:19:59,817 --> 00:20:02,104
Oh, is it bad? Are they slow?
533
00:20:02,129 --> 00:20:04,186
Are they dead? Were there any?
534
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,730
Uh-huh.
535
00:20:06,731 --> 00:20:08,256
(upbeat rhythm plays)
536
00:20:08,258 --> 00:20:11,259
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
537
00:20:11,261 --> 00:20:12,561
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
538
00:20:12,563 --> 00:20:14,784
Oh, God, this is gonna be gross.
539
00:20:14,809 --> 00:20:16,442
♪ My sperm is nice and healthy ♪
540
00:20:16,444 --> 00:20:18,411
♪ In terms of sperm, I'm wealthy ♪
541
00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:20,413
♪ I'm like Warren Buffett,
I got so much of it ♪
542
00:20:20,415 --> 00:20:22,248
♪ That's what the doctors tell me ♪
543
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,250
♪ My point is in a nutshell ♪
544
00:20:24,252 --> 00:20:26,119
♪ Each time I bust, I bust well ♪
545
00:20:26,121 --> 00:20:28,187
♪ I got the quantity
and the quality ♪
546
00:20:28,189 --> 00:20:30,056
♪ No IUD is stopping me ♪
547
00:20:30,058 --> 00:20:31,991
♪ 'Cause my semen's
steaming like a demon ♪
548
00:20:31,993 --> 00:20:33,893
♪ And all the
surrogates be screaming ♪
549
00:20:33,895 --> 00:20:36,496
♪ Just give me some of that
premium grade baby batter ♪
550
00:20:36,498 --> 00:20:37,764
♪ I never splatter ♪
551
00:20:37,766 --> 00:20:41,167
♪ My sperm, my sperm is
no cause for concern ♪
552
00:20:41,169 --> 00:20:45,838
♪ My sperm is healthy,
my sperm is healthy ♪
553
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,273
♪ Aw, shucks, gee whiz ♪
554
00:20:47,275 --> 00:20:48,975
♪ I got the best sperm in the biz ♪
555
00:20:48,977 --> 00:20:52,245
♪ My sperm is healthy,
my sperm is healthy ♪
556
00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:53,613
My sperm is healthy.
557
00:20:53,615 --> 00:20:56,449
♪ ♪
558
00:20:56,451 --> 00:20:58,785
Brad, you, too?
559
00:21:01,389 --> 00:21:03,189
♪ Even though I'm no teenager ♪
560
00:21:03,191 --> 00:21:04,757
♪ My boys still throw a rager ♪
561
00:21:04,759 --> 00:21:07,160
♪ They get bottle
service in every cervix ♪
562
00:21:07,162 --> 00:21:08,594
♪ Blowin' eggs up like a pager ♪
563
00:21:08,596 --> 00:21:10,596
♪ Every lady's gettin' fertilized ♪
564
00:21:10,598 --> 00:21:12,632
♪ Got a diaphragm? It's
gettin' pulverized ♪
565
00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:14,667
♪ My sperm shines
brighter than the sun ♪
566
00:21:14,669 --> 00:21:16,502
♪ So wear special glasses
or avert your eyes ♪
567
00:21:16,504 --> 00:21:18,671
♪ Give thanks, my tank's
not shooting blanks ♪
568
00:21:18,673 --> 00:21:20,439
♪ I'm in a league of my
own just like Tom Hanks ♪
569
00:21:20,441 --> 00:21:22,441
♪ Not a castaway but I blast away ♪
570
00:21:22,443 --> 00:21:24,343
♪ That thing I do
is inseminate you ♪
571
00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:26,245
♪ With my sperm, my sperm ♪
572
00:21:26,247 --> 00:21:27,513
♪ The tests have all confirmed ♪
573
00:21:27,515 --> 00:21:29,615
♪ His sperm is healthy ♪
574
00:21:29,617 --> 00:21:32,084
♪ His sperm is healthy ♪
575
00:21:32,086 --> 00:21:33,853
♪ Aw, shucks, gee whiz ♪
576
00:21:33,855 --> 00:21:35,621
♪ My sperm just aced the quiz ♪
577
00:21:35,623 --> 00:21:37,123
♪ My sperm is healthy ♪
578
00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:39,225
♪ My sperm is healthy... ♪
579
00:21:39,227 --> 00:21:40,927
My sperm is healthy.
580
00:21:41,448 --> 00:21:42,962
Congratulations.
581
00:21:42,964 --> 00:21:44,430
Thank you.
582
00:21:53,018 --> 00:21:55,151
REBECCA: Well, they look very cozy.
583
00:21:55,197 --> 00:21:57,330
Think we can rule out ride-share.
584
00:21:57,355 --> 00:21:58,688
Not necessarily.
585
00:21:58,690 --> 00:22:00,323
You know, I've actually
had some of my best dates
586
00:22:00,325 --> 00:22:01,370
when I was paying by the mile.
587
00:22:01,395 --> 00:22:03,526
Ugh, geez, I need a new sidekick.
588
00:22:03,528 --> 00:22:04,594
You make me so sad.
589
00:22:04,596 --> 00:22:06,195
(quietly): Okay.
590
00:22:06,197 --> 00:22:08,144
Okay, who is that?
591
00:22:08,169 --> 00:22:09,679
Wow, that girl looks young
enough to be his daughter.
592
00:22:09,732 --> 00:22:11,331
Hey, old man.
593
00:22:13,538 --> 00:22:14,675
She is his daughter.
594
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,749
That's his mistress
and that's his daughter.
595
00:22:16,774 --> 00:22:18,941
Oh, my God. I mean, this is...
596
00:22:19,148 --> 00:22:21,982
I just uncovered years
of-of-of family secrets
597
00:22:21,984 --> 00:22:24,518
and pent-up anger
and-and-and secrets.
598
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:25,485
Did I say secrets?
599
00:22:25,487 --> 00:22:27,020
I think I said secrets. I mean,
600
00:22:27,022 --> 00:22:28,655
this is way better than
the little bits of love
601
00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:31,491
I was gonna have to try to wring
out of his dried-up old dad.
602
00:22:31,493 --> 00:22:33,393
This is something so much better.
603
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:37,423
I-I-I got him a nice, juicy,
wonderful, little sister.
604
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:40,433
Ah, I'm amazing.
605
00:22:40,435 --> 00:22:43,236
I... no, I don't think
you're seeing this
606
00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,238
the way people are gonna see it.
607
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,071
MRS. HERNANDEZ: You have to
tell Darryl the donor said no.
608
00:22:48,103 --> 00:22:49,369
I will get to it.
609
00:22:49,371 --> 00:22:51,638
Will you ease up already, Fonzie?
610
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,172
Topical reference. Good one.
611
00:22:53,174 --> 00:22:54,173
PAULA: Good night.
612
00:22:54,339 --> 00:22:56,327
- MRS. HERNANDEZ: Later.
- PAULA: See you.
613
00:22:57,967 --> 00:22:59,712
Number 456H76.
614
00:23:00,064 --> 00:23:01,272
What are you doing here?
615
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:02,656
I thought about it.
616
00:23:03,586 --> 00:23:05,553
- I'll do it.
- (gasps) I'll call the bank
617
00:23:05,578 --> 00:23:08,321
- and tell them to release my last egg.
- Oh, thank God!
618
00:23:08,323 --> 00:23:09,514
There's just one thing I want
619
00:23:09,538 --> 00:23:10,785
- which is to...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
620
00:23:10,810 --> 00:23:12,301
We can talk about details
later, but right now,
621
00:23:12,326 --> 00:23:14,502
I am gonna run upstairs
and tell Darryl it is on.
622
00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:16,427
Thank you! Thank you so much!
623
00:23:22,604 --> 00:23:24,270
Mmm.
624
00:23:27,649 --> 00:23:28,686
Mmm.
625
00:23:29,131 --> 00:23:31,904
It is so cute how you do that.
626
00:23:32,108 --> 00:23:34,408
- Eat food?
- Yes.
627
00:23:34,410 --> 00:23:36,210
Mm.
628
00:23:37,447 --> 00:23:40,781
You know, I keep thinking
about the sad thing
629
00:23:40,783 --> 00:23:42,483
that we were talking
about the other day,
630
00:23:42,485 --> 00:23:44,285
about how you were lonely as a kid.
631
00:23:44,287 --> 00:23:46,620
I just keep picturing
you in footie pajamas,
632
00:23:46,622 --> 00:23:49,190
- sitting on Santa's lap...
- (chuckles)
633
00:23:49,192 --> 00:23:52,226
being all sad and lonely.
634
00:23:52,525 --> 00:23:54,399
But when you were
sitting on Santa's lap,
635
00:23:54,424 --> 00:23:56,564
like, what did you wish for?
636
00:23:56,566 --> 00:24:00,301
- Did you ask for a puppy or a kitty...
- Hmm.
637
00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:01,846
Or a little brother or sister?
638
00:24:01,871 --> 00:24:03,738
- That's what you asked for, right?
- Uh, no.
639
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:05,673
I mostly asked for treasury bonds.
640
00:24:05,675 --> 00:24:11,018
Okay. But, but if you had had
a little brother or sister,
641
00:24:11,096 --> 00:24:13,014
that would've made you so happy, right?
642
00:24:13,588 --> 00:24:15,716
Yeah, I guess.
643
00:24:15,776 --> 00:24:18,386
- Hmm, might've been fun.
- Yeah?
644
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,522
- Let me get these out of the way.
- Okay. (clears throat)
645
00:24:21,524 --> 00:24:23,691
(sighs)
646
00:24:27,630 --> 00:24:30,464
♪ Now that you're mine ♪
647
00:24:30,466 --> 00:24:33,501
♪ I will take good
care of you, ooh, ooh ♪
648
00:24:33,503 --> 00:24:35,703
♪ Baby ♪
649
00:24:35,705 --> 00:24:38,839
♪ Life wouldn't be worth ♪
650
00:24:38,841 --> 00:24:41,442
♪ Living ♪
651
00:24:41,444 --> 00:24:43,644
♪ As I do here ♪
652
00:24:43,646 --> 00:24:47,481
♪ Every day ♪
653
00:24:47,483 --> 00:24:51,519
♪ I love you in a precious way ♪
654
00:24:51,521 --> 00:24:55,022
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
655
00:24:55,024 --> 00:24:57,691
♪ Ooh ♪
656
00:24:57,693 --> 00:25:01,395
♪ Oh, oh, oh, yeah. ♪
657
00:25:03,510 --> 00:25:04,776
Oh, no.
658
00:25:04,943 --> 00:25:07,771
You're still doing karaoke videos?
659
00:25:07,959 --> 00:25:10,526
You've been up all night, sweetie.
660
00:25:11,107 --> 00:25:13,328
You haven't even packed your closet.
661
00:25:13,353 --> 00:25:15,987
I know, I'm just, I'm getting nostalgic.
662
00:25:16,012 --> 00:25:18,479
The times in my life when I
sang along to these songs...
663
00:25:18,481 --> 00:25:21,849
I mean... those moments are all gone.
664
00:25:21,851 --> 00:25:24,018
(sighs)
665
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:25,313
Okay, Josh.
666
00:25:26,098 --> 00:25:27,665
I understand what you're going through.
667
00:25:27,690 --> 00:25:28,852
Really, I do.
668
00:25:28,892 --> 00:25:31,453
But it's time to have
a little conversation.
669
00:25:32,228 --> 00:25:33,761
JOSH: Oh.
670
00:25:36,966 --> 00:25:38,899
♪ ♪
671
00:25:38,901 --> 00:25:41,936
(mic feedback whines)
672
00:25:41,938 --> 00:25:45,206
♪ ♪
673
00:25:45,208 --> 00:25:49,577
♪ My son, my beautiful child ♪
674
00:25:49,579 --> 00:25:51,879
♪ You brought me joy ♪
675
00:25:51,881 --> 00:25:54,915
♪ You've made me smile ♪
676
00:25:54,917 --> 00:25:56,851
♪ But now that you're grown ♪
677
00:25:56,853 --> 00:25:59,253
♪ And you're a man ♪
678
00:25:59,255 --> 00:26:01,589
♪ Why are you still here? ♪
679
00:26:01,591 --> 00:26:03,657
♪ I don't understand ♪
680
00:26:06,162 --> 00:26:11,098
♪ It's time to get your
ass out of my house ♪
681
00:26:11,968 --> 00:26:14,135
♪ I don't care where you go ♪
682
00:26:14,137 --> 00:26:16,203
♪ I just want you to know ♪
683
00:26:16,205 --> 00:26:20,608
♪ You've got to get your
ass out of my house ♪
684
00:26:21,958 --> 00:26:23,611
♪ Seriously ♪
685
00:26:23,613 --> 00:26:27,414
♪ Why do you still live with me? ♪
686
00:26:27,416 --> 00:26:29,316
♪ Year after year ♪
687
00:26:29,318 --> 00:26:31,385
♪ You're always here ♪
688
00:26:31,387 --> 00:26:33,454
♪ So let me be clear ♪
689
00:26:33,456 --> 00:26:36,590
♪ I want you to disappear ♪
690
00:26:36,592 --> 00:26:39,426
♪ Just in case you had any doubt ♪
691
00:26:39,428 --> 00:26:43,330
♪ It's time to get your ass out... ♪
692
00:26:43,332 --> 00:26:45,332
Okay, I get it.
693
00:26:45,334 --> 00:26:47,201
I should've packed up the closet.
694
00:26:47,203 --> 00:26:48,636
You're right. You're totally right.
695
00:26:48,638 --> 00:26:50,738
I'm... you don't have to keep singing.
696
00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:53,541
♪ My son, perhaps that was mean ♪
697
00:26:53,543 --> 00:26:55,943
♪ But I think you should know ♪
698
00:26:55,945 --> 00:26:58,111
♪ How frustrated I've been ♪
699
00:26:58,421 --> 00:27:01,048
♪ That Dad and I can't have sex... ♪
700
00:27:01,050 --> 00:27:01,756
Ew.
701
00:27:01,781 --> 00:27:03,717
- ♪ As loud as we want ♪
- Uh...
702
00:27:03,719 --> 00:27:08,455
♪ So follow along with
this highlighted font ♪
703
00:27:08,457 --> 00:27:10,324
♪ And please just ♪
704
00:27:10,326 --> 00:27:12,693
♪ Get your ass out of my house ♪
705
00:27:12,695 --> 00:27:14,528
(mouths)
706
00:27:14,555 --> 00:27:16,751
- ♪ 'Cause I'm not in the mood ♪
- _
707
00:27:16,775 --> 00:27:18,907
♪ to keep on buying your food ♪
708
00:27:18,935 --> 00:27:23,173
♪ Good God, just get
your ass out of my house ♪
709
00:27:23,706 --> 00:27:25,806
♪ My church friends
think it's a shame ♪
710
00:27:25,808 --> 00:27:28,829
♪ They say my son is so lame... ♪
711
00:27:28,854 --> 00:27:30,711
What's up with the random rowboats?
712
00:27:30,713 --> 00:27:33,547
♪ You can sleep in the park ♪
713
00:27:33,549 --> 00:27:36,550
♪ You can sleep on a bus ♪
714
00:27:36,552 --> 00:27:38,319
♪ You can live anywhere ♪
715
00:27:38,321 --> 00:27:40,621
♪ As long as it's not with us ♪
716
00:27:40,623 --> 00:27:44,825
♪ Thanks to your feet, this
house smells like sauerkraut ♪
717
00:27:44,827 --> 00:27:47,328
♪ So, my dear child ♪
718
00:27:47,330 --> 00:27:52,233
♪ Get your ass out. ♪
719
00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:54,297
(mic feedback whines)
720
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:02,975
Everyone, get used to speaking softly,
721
00:28:02,999 --> 00:28:04,583
hand-sanitizing constantly
722
00:28:04,608 --> 00:28:07,662
and never bringing uncut
grapes to the office again.
723
00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:10,588
There's gonna be a baby in here.
724
00:28:10,590 --> 00:28:11,889
(giggles)
725
00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,858
My God, tell me everything.
726
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,593
Oh, Paula, I am so excited.
727
00:28:15,595 --> 00:28:17,361
They're putting my hot sauce
on the eggs this morning,
728
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,563
and the surrogate is on call
729
00:28:19,565 --> 00:28:21,365
and as soon as the
embryo starts to divide,
730
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:22,667
they can implant it.
731
00:28:22,669 --> 00:28:25,002
(laughs): Oh, that's so great.
732
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:26,971
(phone chimes)
733
00:28:28,341 --> 00:28:29,740
Would you excuse me for a minute?
734
00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:32,009
- Sure.
- Okay.
735
00:28:34,202 --> 00:28:35,246
Hi.
736
00:28:35,248 --> 00:28:36,414
What's this text about money?
737
00:28:36,416 --> 00:28:37,548
He already paid you.
738
00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:39,316
Yeah, but not enough.
739
00:28:39,318 --> 00:28:41,185
You left before I could
finish the other day.
740
00:28:41,187 --> 00:28:43,220
Yes, I gave you my egg,
741
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,622
but I had terms.
742
00:28:44,624 --> 00:28:46,857
You see, the way you approached
me was a bit unorthodox
743
00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:48,392
and I would hate for
the police to find out
744
00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:51,429
that you violated my
anonymity and stalked me.
745
00:28:51,431 --> 00:28:52,930
That would be a bummer.
746
00:28:52,932 --> 00:28:54,165
- What?
- So, I'd like to be paid
747
00:28:54,167 --> 00:28:55,199
in monthly installments
748
00:28:55,201 --> 00:28:56,600
for the rest of the baby's life.
749
00:28:56,602 --> 00:28:57,802
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
750
00:28:57,804 --> 00:28:59,470
(laughs): Wait.
751
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,238
You're blackmailing me?!
752
00:29:01,703 --> 00:29:03,418
And you're a smoker.
753
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,643
Yeah.
754
00:29:05,645 --> 00:29:07,311
But you checked “no smoking.”
755
00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:08,726
Yeah.
756
00:29:09,082 --> 00:29:10,981
Oh, my God, you're a horrible person.
757
00:29:11,385 --> 00:29:14,268
I can't believe I picked
you out of a catalog.
758
00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:17,154
If you were a sweater,
I would send you back,
759
00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,489
or at least put you in
the front hall closet
760
00:29:18,491 --> 00:29:21,358
for six months while I
intend to send you back.
761
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,027
Whatever. You're stuck with me.
762
00:29:23,029 --> 00:29:25,650
Your friend's making a
baby with me right now.
763
00:29:25,947 --> 00:29:27,580
No. Not on my watch.
764
00:29:27,582 --> 00:29:30,812
I am, I am stopping this right now.
765
00:29:30,837 --> 00:29:33,604
WOMAN: Thank you for calling the
San Fernando Egg Donor Center.
766
00:29:33,606 --> 00:29:35,639
Hi. Stop. Hold the baby presses.
767
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:38,067
Just-just don't fertilize.
Don't do it. Just keep
768
00:29:38,092 --> 00:29:39,810
- the huevos out of the rancheros.
- We're closed for the day.
769
00:29:39,812 --> 00:29:41,378
Hello? Hello? Please
leave your name and number
770
00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:43,614
after the beep and we will get
back to you... Wait. H... no.
771
00:29:43,616 --> 00:29:46,317
During our normal business
hours. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
772
00:29:50,556 --> 00:29:52,013
So what are we doing here?
773
00:29:52,038 --> 00:29:54,326
Why are we meeting a client in his dump?
774
00:29:54,351 --> 00:29:56,360
I am so sorry. I lied to you.
775
00:29:56,362 --> 00:29:58,496
There is no client. She made me do it.
776
00:29:58,498 --> 00:30:00,498
I tried to stop her, but I-I couldn't.
777
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:02,466
It's Rebecca. She is a train
778
00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:03,834
and you can't get off. And you're trying
779
00:30:03,836 --> 00:30:05,302
to pull the brake, but
the next thing you know,
780
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:06,537
you're shoveling more
coal into the engine.
781
00:30:06,539 --> 00:30:07,805
I don't know how trains work.
782
00:30:07,807 --> 00:30:10,141
I am so sorry that I hit your car.
783
00:30:10,143 --> 00:30:12,610
Uh, but a dozen donuts is
the least that I can do.
784
00:30:12,612 --> 00:30:14,044
Ugh, I don't want a dozen donuts.
785
00:30:14,046 --> 00:30:15,579
I want your insurance information.
786
00:30:15,581 --> 00:30:17,548
I've been asking you for
that for half an hour.
787
00:30:17,962 --> 00:30:19,250
Rebecca.
788
00:30:19,744 --> 00:30:21,564
What's-what's happening here?
789
00:30:21,566 --> 00:30:22,864
A surprise.
790
00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:24,439
An impish ruse, but
for the best of reasons.
791
00:30:24,464 --> 00:30:26,791
Wait, what's going on here?
792
00:30:26,793 --> 00:30:28,759
Did you hit my car on purpose?
793
00:30:28,761 --> 00:30:29,798
NATHANIEL: Hold on.
794
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,172
Y-You hit her car?
795
00:30:31,197 --> 00:30:32,830
Yes, yes, yes, but for
all the right reasons.
796
00:30:32,832 --> 00:30:34,999
Nathaniel... (sighs)
797
00:30:35,094 --> 00:30:36,627
meet your sister.
798
00:30:43,290 --> 00:30:45,702
That's right, Nathaniel.
This is your sister,
799
00:30:45,727 --> 00:30:47,890
sired by your father
and his secret whore.
800
00:30:47,915 --> 00:30:49,581
I know this would be a shock at first.
801
00:30:49,583 --> 00:30:54,152
WOMAN: Whoa, whoa.
Whore? And... sister?
802
00:30:54,154 --> 00:30:55,487
What's happening?
803
00:30:55,489 --> 00:30:57,155
And Nathaniel, what
are you even doing here?
804
00:30:57,157 --> 00:30:58,156
You don't eat donuts.
805
00:30:58,158 --> 00:30:59,825
Uh... (stammers) Sorry, you know him?
806
00:30:59,850 --> 00:31:02,127
- You know your secret sibling?
- Okay, so, I'm gonna run away.
807
00:31:02,129 --> 00:31:03,670
- You're not going anywhere.
- Yeah.
808
00:31:03,710 --> 00:31:05,069
But how do you two know each other?
809
00:31:05,085 --> 00:31:08,412
Her mom was my dad's
secretary for years, Janice.
810
00:31:08,437 --> 00:31:10,370
Okay, right, and
they're having an affair.
811
00:31:10,654 --> 00:31:14,247
WOMAN (laughs): No. My mom worked
for Mr. P. Sr. for 30 years,
812
00:31:14,272 --> 00:31:16,472
so he pays for my tuition
and once in a while,
813
00:31:16,474 --> 00:31:17,706
we invite him over to lunch.
814
00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:19,241
Wait... (stammers) why all the secrecy?
815
00:31:19,243 --> 00:31:20,676
Why does he pretend to play golf?
816
00:31:20,678 --> 00:31:22,244
He has 150 employees.
817
00:31:22,246 --> 00:31:24,234
You think he wants to
pay hundreds of tuitions?
818
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:25,695
Wait a minute.
819
00:31:25,697 --> 00:31:28,194
How do you know he
pretends to play golf?
820
00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:31,020
Um, uh...
821
00:31:32,187 --> 00:31:34,172
Okay, I think we need to have a talk.
822
00:31:37,528 --> 00:31:39,561
(sighs)
823
00:31:40,035 --> 00:31:44,400
Oh... you did it, honey.
824
00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:46,001
Don't you feel so much better?
825
00:31:46,026 --> 00:31:47,840
No, I feel terrible.
826
00:31:48,205 --> 00:31:50,539
And you're being so mean lately.
827
00:31:51,233 --> 00:31:54,710
Joshy, what's really going on with you?
828
00:31:55,546 --> 00:31:57,313
I don't know.
829
00:31:57,315 --> 00:32:00,149
My whole life, I-I knew
what I was gonna do,
830
00:32:00,151 --> 00:32:01,518
who I was gonna be.
831
00:32:02,453 --> 00:32:04,687
Get a comfortable job, marry Valencia,
832
00:32:04,689 --> 00:32:06,522
see you guys every weekend,
833
00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:07,690
coach Little League,
834
00:32:07,692 --> 00:32:10,059
go to church, hang out with my friends,
835
00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,560
own a shave ice machine...
836
00:32:11,562 --> 00:32:14,712
(sighs) But none of
it makes sense anymore.
837
00:32:15,513 --> 00:32:16,976
I don't want those things now.
838
00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:19,294
I know, growing up is hard.
839
00:32:19,319 --> 00:32:22,180
I've been trying to remember
when it stopped making sense.
840
00:32:22,516 --> 00:32:24,573
I... I moved back from New York,
841
00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:25,774
I tried to settle back in,
842
00:32:25,776 --> 00:32:27,776
but things were not right
between me and Valencia
843
00:32:27,778 --> 00:32:29,812
because I started
spending time with Rebecca.
844
00:32:29,814 --> 00:32:31,547
And that job at Aloha,
845
00:32:31,549 --> 00:32:34,603
Rebecca also got for me
because she believed in me.
846
00:32:35,173 --> 00:32:39,621
And then V and I split up,
also because of Rebecca.
847
00:32:40,433 --> 00:32:41,892
When you think about it,
848
00:32:42,506 --> 00:32:44,639
Rebecca's everywhere.
849
00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,364
She changed me.
850
00:32:51,895 --> 00:32:54,470
Made me think my life
could be different.
851
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:55,817
I could be special.
852
00:33:00,177 --> 00:33:02,718
My God, she ruined me.
853
00:33:03,447 --> 00:33:05,047
I spent my whole life in flip-flops
854
00:33:05,049 --> 00:33:07,116
and she made me want closed-toed shoes.
855
00:33:07,752 --> 00:33:09,685
I can't go back to my old life.
856
00:33:09,687 --> 00:33:11,457
I-I got to find a new life!
857
00:33:11,694 --> 00:33:12,760
(snoring)
858
00:33:12,957 --> 00:33:15,024
- Hey, Mom!
- (snorts) Oh.
859
00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:16,658
Sorry.
860
00:33:16,660 --> 00:33:19,028
Those are not real problems.
861
00:33:19,030 --> 00:33:20,562
(scoffs)
862
00:33:20,564 --> 00:33:21,730
God, I hope it's a girl.
863
00:33:21,732 --> 00:33:24,893
I want to name her Daphnila or Sefarine.
864
00:33:24,987 --> 00:33:26,579
Yeah, not names.
865
00:33:26,604 --> 00:33:27,736
What's the matter with you?
866
00:33:28,585 --> 00:33:30,785
Why aren't you more excited?
867
00:33:31,108 --> 00:33:32,987
This baby was Frankensteined by you.
868
00:33:33,012 --> 00:33:34,243
Yeah, no, it is.
869
00:33:34,245 --> 00:33:36,179
I-I-I know. (scoffs)
870
00:33:36,204 --> 00:33:37,403
What?
871
00:33:37,548 --> 00:33:38,624
What's wrong?
872
00:33:39,710 --> 00:33:41,383
There are a couple of little details
873
00:33:41,385 --> 00:33:44,386
that I neglected to tell you.
874
00:33:44,388 --> 00:33:46,588
- (phone rings)
- Oh. Oh.
875
00:33:46,945 --> 00:33:47,756
Yes?
876
00:33:47,758 --> 00:33:49,525
Hello, Dr. Ellerbe.
877
00:33:49,590 --> 00:33:50,922
Yes?
878
00:33:52,484 --> 00:33:53,729
Yes!
879
00:33:53,731 --> 00:33:55,397
I'm gonna be a daddy?!
880
00:33:55,399 --> 00:33:57,492
Oh, God, no.
881
00:33:57,517 --> 00:33:59,234
Oh, the fertilization didn't take.
882
00:33:59,236 --> 00:34:00,936
Thank God!
883
00:34:00,938 --> 00:34:01,837
What? It didn't work?
884
00:34:01,839 --> 00:34:02,971
But... Oh, no, no, no.
885
00:34:02,973 --> 00:34:06,675
Darryl, number 456H76
was a blackmailing,
886
00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:08,110
secret smoking bitch.
887
00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:09,912
And I know that because
I tracked her down
888
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:11,947
and I gave her all
this blackmail leverage.
889
00:34:11,949 --> 00:34:13,849
And I can't believe I did that.
890
00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:15,851
Oh, God, I'm so out of practice.
891
00:34:15,853 --> 00:34:16,952
So sloppy.
892
00:34:16,954 --> 00:34:18,320
♪ ♪
893
00:34:18,619 --> 00:34:20,386
So nothing happened?
894
00:34:22,297 --> 00:34:23,872
There's no baby?
895
00:34:26,170 --> 00:34:28,082
Oh, no, honey.
896
00:34:30,768 --> 00:34:32,301
Not this time.
897
00:34:32,918 --> 00:34:35,437
But this is a good thing.
898
00:34:35,439 --> 00:34:37,239
I promise. And next time,
899
00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:39,675
we're gonna get somebody so much better.
900
00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:41,202
Yeah.
901
00:34:41,627 --> 00:34:43,526
Okay, in another year.
902
00:34:44,615 --> 00:34:46,389
A year?
903
00:34:46,414 --> 00:34:49,318
Paula, it is really
expensive to buy those huevos.
904
00:34:49,616 --> 00:34:52,083
I can only do it, like, once a year.
905
00:34:52,623 --> 00:34:54,209
Oh, my God.
906
00:34:58,762 --> 00:35:00,714
(softly): I'm so sorry.
907
00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:04,933
(sighs) Oh...
908
00:35:05,262 --> 00:35:06,929
(sighs)
909
00:35:08,612 --> 00:35:11,198
I have to stop interfering
in people's lives.
910
00:35:12,659 --> 00:35:14,753
I do it when I'm unhappy,
I do it when I'm happy,
911
00:35:14,778 --> 00:35:18,222
and either way, it never works out.
912
00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:20,115
Uh, doy.
913
00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:21,816
I deserve that.
914
00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:34,496
So...
915
00:35:34,498 --> 00:35:36,785
you said you wanted to talk,
but you haven't said anything.
916
00:35:38,681 --> 00:35:39,613
(clears throat)
917
00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:41,436
- I'm still processing.
- Okay.
918
00:35:41,438 --> 00:35:42,437
Okay, that's healthy.
919
00:35:42,439 --> 00:35:43,906
Um...
920
00:35:44,402 --> 00:35:47,732
I will just, uh, I'll wait here
921
00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:49,616
and eat until you're ready.
922
00:35:50,898 --> 00:35:53,165
- Thank you.
- Great.
923
00:35:54,777 --> 00:35:56,944
(huffs under breath)
924
00:35:58,155 --> 00:35:59,521
Oh, God, just tell me.
925
00:35:59,523 --> 00:36:00,802
Do you forgive me?
926
00:36:01,123 --> 00:36:01,989
Are you gonna forgive me?
927
00:36:02,014 --> 00:36:03,762
Please don't break up with me.
928
00:36:08,318 --> 00:36:10,598
Just tell me, okay? Just
rip the Band-Aid off.
929
00:36:10,623 --> 00:36:12,153
Are you gonna break up with
me? You're breaking up with me.
930
00:36:12,178 --> 00:36:13,832
But are you? Are you
gonna break up with me?
931
00:36:13,857 --> 00:36:15,957
Rebecca, what you did was absolutely...
932
00:36:15,959 --> 00:36:17,058
It was over the top.
933
00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:18,760
Inexcusable. I-I know.
934
00:36:18,762 --> 00:36:19,669
But...
935
00:36:20,797 --> 00:36:22,044
you were trying to help.
936
00:36:22,092 --> 00:36:25,279
Yes. Yes, I was, I really was.
937
00:36:25,304 --> 00:36:29,013
The thing is, you and
I are really... different.
938
00:36:33,637 --> 00:36:35,363
But that's part of
what I like about you.
939
00:36:37,007 --> 00:36:39,949
And I feel closer to you than
I have to basically anyone.
940
00:36:40,177 --> 00:36:44,780
You make me feel like I could
be a different... kind of person,
941
00:36:44,805 --> 00:36:46,925
a person who expresses their feelings
942
00:36:46,950 --> 00:36:50,385
and-and cries at movies and...
943
00:36:50,387 --> 00:36:52,421
makes eye contact with homeless people.
944
00:36:53,328 --> 00:36:55,151
So you're gonna forgive me?
945
00:36:56,386 --> 00:36:57,451
Yeah, I think I will.
946
00:36:57,594 --> 00:37:00,495
- (exhales)
- But you have to promise...
947
00:37:00,497 --> 00:37:02,503
never to do anything
like that ever again.
948
00:37:02,528 --> 00:37:03,839
I promise.
949
00:37:04,442 --> 00:37:05,741
I swear.
950
00:37:06,103 --> 00:37:07,436
Come here.
951
00:37:09,339 --> 00:37:10,549
This table's really long.
I'm just gonna...
952
00:37:10,574 --> 00:37:11,259
Very long.
953
00:37:11,284 --> 00:37:12,507
I'm just gonna come
over there. Come on over.
954
00:37:12,509 --> 00:37:14,109
I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna
955
00:37:14,111 --> 00:37:15,277
scoot over here.
956
00:37:15,279 --> 00:37:16,318
Oh, hi.
957
00:37:17,247 --> 00:37:18,904
REBECCA: Whew! So...
958
00:37:18,929 --> 00:37:20,615
whew! I got away with it. (laughs)
959
00:37:20,617 --> 00:37:22,551
- Mm-hmm.
- That was the wrong choice of words.
960
00:37:22,553 --> 00:37:23,618
I mean, we worked it out.
961
00:37:23,620 --> 00:37:24,586
Mm-hmm.
962
00:37:24,588 --> 00:37:25,451
Okay, I hear you.
963
00:37:25,453 --> 00:37:27,266
And what I did was not the best idea.
964
00:37:27,291 --> 00:37:28,256
Mm-hmm.
965
00:37:28,258 --> 00:37:29,524
But it came from caring and affection.
966
00:37:29,526 --> 00:37:30,759
It wasn't about obsession.
967
00:37:30,761 --> 00:37:31,993
No, what I did
968
00:37:31,995 --> 00:37:33,662
was selfless and kind. It was too kind.
969
00:37:33,664 --> 00:37:36,331
- Rebecca...
- I like this guy, okay?
970
00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:38,600
I like him a lot.
971
00:37:38,679 --> 00:37:41,120
I like him so much and
I want to be with him.
972
00:37:41,754 --> 00:37:43,505
So, what, I can never
have a great relationship
973
00:37:43,507 --> 00:37:44,806
because I have borderline
personality disorder,
974
00:37:44,808 --> 00:37:46,007
is that what you're saying?
975
00:37:46,009 --> 00:37:47,042
Not at all.
976
00:37:47,044 --> 00:37:48,477
But doesn't it feel like
977
00:37:48,479 --> 00:37:50,011
you're repeating some old patterns?
978
00:37:50,164 --> 00:37:52,481
Your patterns with Josh, perhaps?
979
00:37:52,483 --> 00:37:53,882
Uh,
J-J-Josh?
980
00:37:53,884 --> 00:37:55,383
No, no, no. No, no, no.
981
00:37:55,385 --> 00:37:56,752
The way I am with Nathaniel
982
00:37:56,754 --> 00:37:58,787
is nothing like the way I was with Josh.
983
00:37:58,789 --> 00:38:00,155
I just want to make
Nathaniel a better person,
984
00:38:00,157 --> 00:38:01,189
and I want to make him
985
00:38:01,191 --> 00:38:02,357
happy all the time and I want
986
00:38:02,359 --> 00:38:03,692
to get to know everything about him
987
00:38:03,694 --> 00:38:05,393
and I want to get to
know everyone in his life
988
00:38:05,395 --> 00:38:06,895
and I want to have that feeling
989
00:38:06,897 --> 00:38:08,997
that you get when you
really get to know someone
990
00:38:08,999 --> 00:38:11,567
and it feels like glitter
is exploding inside of you.
991
00:38:12,069 --> 00:38:14,402
Ah... Oh...
992
00:38:14,404 --> 00:38:16,104
Mm-hmm.
993
00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:22,444
Okay. I've been thinking
about ways to raise money.
994
00:38:22,446 --> 00:38:24,446
Here they are, rapid-fire:
Bake sale, car wash,
995
00:38:24,448 --> 00:38:26,248
lap dances in the office... Here me out.
996
00:38:26,250 --> 00:38:27,616
Not a lot of people know this,
997
00:38:27,618 --> 00:38:29,885
but Mrs. Hernandez has a rack on her...
998
00:38:31,722 --> 00:38:33,021
What the hell happened in here?
999
00:38:33,023 --> 00:38:33,992
I sold it.
1000
00:38:34,424 --> 00:38:35,824
I sold all of it.
1001
00:38:35,826 --> 00:38:37,192
(gasps) Jackalope...
1002
00:38:37,194 --> 00:38:38,860
I know. I know.
1003
00:38:38,862 --> 00:38:40,756
People wanted to buy that junk?
1004
00:38:40,781 --> 00:38:41,814
Most of it, no.
1005
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,675
I mean, I did have
one piece of turquoise
1006
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:44,866
that turned out to be real.
1007
00:38:44,868 --> 00:38:46,001
(gasps) And then the rest
1008
00:38:46,003 --> 00:38:48,203
I just sold to stupid hipsters
1009
00:38:48,205 --> 00:38:49,738
at the Melrose flea market.
1010
00:38:50,029 --> 00:38:53,060
I want to try again
right away; I don't want to wait.
1011
00:38:53,085 --> 00:38:54,810
I am ready for this baby.
1012
00:38:54,812 --> 00:38:56,278
Well, that's great, Darryl.
1013
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,480
And I promise, this time
I will stay out of it.
1014
00:38:58,482 --> 00:38:59,748
Oh, no, please don't.
1015
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:01,124
Me and Tasmyline...
1016
00:39:01,608 --> 00:39:03,151
we need you, Auntie Paula.
1017
00:39:03,153 --> 00:39:05,854
Auntie Paula? Oh... (laughs)
1018
00:39:05,856 --> 00:39:09,291
- Oh, I like the way that sounds.
- I know. Me, too.
1019
00:39:09,293 --> 00:39:11,359
But I don't like the
way Tasmyline sounds,
1020
00:39:11,361 --> 00:39:13,588
so that is a hard, hard no on that.
1021
00:39:13,613 --> 00:39:15,007
What about Shatonka?
1022
00:39:15,032 --> 00:39:15,764
Uh...
1023
00:39:15,789 --> 00:39:18,356
It means “lady truck.”
1024
00:39:19,713 --> 00:39:21,847
(birds singing)
1025
00:39:26,643 --> 00:39:27,876
REBECCA: I ran into Josh.
1026
00:39:27,878 --> 00:39:28,944
He made me feel warm inside,
1027
00:39:28,946 --> 00:39:30,345
like glitter was exploding inside me.
1028
00:39:30,347 --> 00:39:33,181
♪ ♪
1029
00:39:47,304 --> 00:39:48,937
(knocking at door)
1030
00:39:52,736 --> 00:39:53,935
Hey.
1031
00:39:54,771 --> 00:39:56,357
Hey...
1032
00:39:57,357 --> 00:39:59,107
Can I talk to you for a second?
1033
00:39:59,109 --> 00:40:01,643
(exhales) Okay. Sure, come on in.
1034
00:40:01,645 --> 00:40:04,246
I, um... (clears throat)
1035
00:40:04,271 --> 00:40:06,310
uh, came over to see you because...
1036
00:40:07,802 --> 00:40:09,284
there's something I never said.
1037
00:40:09,286 --> 00:40:10,418
Oh, God, Josh...
1038
00:40:10,420 --> 00:40:11,887
Look, if you're here to say sorry,
1039
00:40:11,889 --> 00:40:13,054
there's really no need.
1040
00:40:13,056 --> 00:40:14,823
Like... it's fine, stuff happens.
1041
00:40:14,825 --> 00:40:16,708
No, not sorry.
1042
00:40:17,728 --> 00:40:19,127
Thank you.
1043
00:40:19,129 --> 00:40:21,326
Wh... What?
1044
00:40:21,351 --> 00:40:23,943
Before I met you, I set the bar
1045
00:40:23,968 --> 00:40:27,369
so low for myself.
1046
00:40:27,470 --> 00:40:29,003
But you freed me from that.
1047
00:40:29,763 --> 00:40:31,474
Whatever my future holds,
1048
00:40:31,499 --> 00:40:34,109
it's different from
what I planned and...
1049
00:40:34,793 --> 00:40:35,944
(sighs)
1050
00:40:36,188 --> 00:40:38,255
that's because of you.
1051
00:40:38,882 --> 00:40:40,123
Wow.
1052
00:40:40,148 --> 00:40:44,506
Now I'm, uh, learning to
break out of my patterns.
1053
00:40:45,789 --> 00:40:47,188
Well, Josh, thank you for coming here
1054
00:40:47,190 --> 00:40:49,324
and saying all these things.
1055
00:40:49,608 --> 00:40:51,036
This must have been hard.
1056
00:40:51,061 --> 00:40:52,209
It was.
1057
00:40:53,563 --> 00:40:56,164
And, um, you know, the truth is,
1058
00:40:56,166 --> 00:40:58,133
I'm a bit of a coward.
1059
00:40:58,464 --> 00:41:00,145
And I'm not great at
doing the hard thing,
1060
00:41:00,170 --> 00:41:02,237
even when I know it's right.
1061
00:41:03,144 --> 00:41:05,774
God, doing the right thing,
is there anything worse?
1062
00:41:06,191 --> 00:41:06,994
But...
1063
00:41:07,044 --> 00:41:08,230
(exhales loudly)
1064
00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:10,222
there comes a time when...
1065
00:41:10,247 --> 00:41:11,972
(clicks tongue) it's what you have to.
1066
00:41:14,285 --> 00:41:17,452
Hey, Josh, not to be rude, but
there's something I need to do,
1067
00:41:17,454 --> 00:41:19,820
so can you get your ass out of my house?
1068
00:41:20,857 --> 00:41:22,057
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1069
00:41:22,036 --> 00:41:23,047
Thanks.
1070
00:41:23,072 --> 00:41:24,477
(sighs)
1071
00:41:26,104 --> 00:41:27,769
(knocking at door)
1072
00:41:29,199 --> 00:41:31,441
- Hi.
- Hi.
1073
00:41:36,659 --> 00:41:37,872
Rebecca, what's wrong?
1074
00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:40,526
Nathaniel, I, uh...
1075
00:41:40,890 --> 00:41:42,790
I have to do something
I've never done before.
1076
00:41:43,714 --> 00:41:45,113
What?
1077
00:41:45,115 --> 00:41:46,681
(clears throat, exhales)
1078
00:41:46,995 --> 00:41:50,745
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
76942
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