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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,606 --> 00:00:02,208 The adventure begins. 2 00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:03,902 Previously on "You Me Her"... 3 00:00:04,191 --> 00:00:06,095 Were you drunk this time? 4 00:00:06,181 --> 00:00:07,431 - No. - Me neither. 5 00:00:07,861 --> 00:00:09,111 My November rent. 6 00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:10,804 Only fair, 'cause I didn't give you any notice. 7 00:00:10,805 --> 00:00:11,866 No. 8 00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:13,961 Hope it works out for you, rebound girl. 9 00:00:14,102 --> 00:00:16,173 Yeah, you better fucking run! 10 00:00:16,241 --> 00:00:18,243 She wasn't my first girl. Or my second. 11 00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:20,958 Well, she seemed pretty eager to get back on that bike, didn't she? 12 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,266 I thought I lost you. 13 00:00:22,334 --> 00:00:25,943 My brilliant wife has just accepted a seat 14 00:00:25,945 --> 00:00:29,368 on the prestigious Hamilton School Alumni Board. 15 00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:31,237 - Mom? - I don't know what you think you heard. 16 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,278 We got some negotiating to do, don't we? 17 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,175 LORI: This whole "niece that fell from the sky" issue 18 00:00:36,177 --> 00:00:37,829 continues to bother me. 19 00:00:37,831 --> 00:00:39,946 AVA: Lori has assigned me to use the interwebs 20 00:00:39,948 --> 00:00:41,958 to find out whether Izzy is or isn't your niece. 21 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,786 - Shit. - She knows I can do it. I can do it. 22 00:00:44,788 --> 00:00:47,107 - EMMA: We got the theater project. - JACK: That's so great. 23 00:00:47,108 --> 00:00:49,213 Well, everyone says I'm gonna get partner. 24 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,184 - [Doorbell rings] - CARMEN: You do remember 25 00:00:50,185 --> 00:00:52,337 we're having everybody over for the game tomorrow, right? 26 00:00:52,338 --> 00:00:54,982 - We're doing this. - We are? 27 00:00:55,031 --> 00:00:56,595 Fuck yeah, we are. 28 00:00:57,009 --> 00:00:59,273 This is our choice, and this is what we want. 29 00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:00,681 Do it. 30 00:01:00,940 --> 00:01:03,870 [Rap music playing] 31 00:01:07,678 --> 00:01:08,817 ♪ What's up? ♪ 32 00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,311 ♪ What's up, what's up? ♪ 33 00:01:10,313 --> 00:01:11,356 ♪ What's up? ♪ 34 00:01:11,358 --> 00:01:13,413 ♪ What's up, what's up? ♪ 35 00:01:13,479 --> 00:01:14,708 ♪ What's up? ♪ 36 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:20,084 [Indistinct rapping] 37 00:01:20,086 --> 00:01:21,117 [Music stops] 38 00:01:21,119 --> 00:01:24,519 Synced by peritta - corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com 39 00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:35,168 [Exhales] 40 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,645 [TV chatter] 41 00:01:46,311 --> 00:01:48,514 What are you fucking doing? 42 00:01:49,581 --> 00:01:51,403 Don't fucking do it. 43 00:01:51,405 --> 00:01:53,209 ♪ 44 00:01:53,211 --> 00:01:54,944 Don't fucking... 45 00:01:59,591 --> 00:02:00,592 She knows. 46 00:02:00,626 --> 00:02:02,628 I'm trying to save you from yourself, dipshit. 47 00:02:02,784 --> 00:02:04,194 Yeah, well, maybe you should try 48 00:02:04,196 --> 00:02:06,131 and save yourself from that... that... 49 00:02:06,198 --> 00:02:07,933 God damn it, you look super cute. 50 00:02:07,935 --> 00:02:08,899 Really? 51 00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:09,979 - [Chuckles] - Thanks. 52 00:02:09,998 --> 00:02:11,165 So you'll help me with the toast? 53 00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:12,537 Nah, I think I'll let you tie the noose 54 00:02:12,538 --> 00:02:14,540 and kick out the chair. 55 00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:17,952 Great party. 56 00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:19,278 Hey, Gabe. 57 00:02:20,928 --> 00:02:22,929 - Hey, little brother. - Hey. 58 00:02:23,301 --> 00:02:25,964 What in the Sam fuck are you doing? 59 00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:28,491 You know what? Not now, Gabe, okay? 60 00:02:28,493 --> 00:02:29,946 - Mm. - What are you doing? 61 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:33,387 - What was that about? - Mm. 62 00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:35,559 - Again. - Ohh! 63 00:02:37,148 --> 00:02:39,366 You cheering against the Ducks? Is that what's happening? 64 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,019 - You ready? - Everyone has drinks. 65 00:02:42,107 --> 00:02:43,549 Okay, let's do it. 66 00:02:45,358 --> 00:02:46,505 [Clears throat weakly] 67 00:02:46,872 --> 00:02:49,070 MAN: Yes! Oh! Beautiful. 68 00:02:49,072 --> 00:02:51,176 - JACK: [Clears throat] - IZZY: Yo. 69 00:02:51,243 --> 00:02:52,781 [Indistinct conversation] 70 00:02:52,783 --> 00:02:56,459 Uh, can... can someone pause the game for a second, please? 71 00:02:57,316 --> 00:02:59,235 - Don't do this. - I have to. 72 00:02:59,237 --> 00:03:01,567 - Don't pause it. - Yeah. 73 00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:05,208 Okay, could everybody... raise their glasses? 74 00:03:05,403 --> 00:03:06,558 Drinks up. 75 00:03:06,592 --> 00:03:10,013 We have some very exciting news we want to share with you 76 00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:13,596 because, really, we're more like family than neighbors. 77 00:03:15,042 --> 00:03:16,741 ♪ 78 00:03:16,743 --> 00:03:18,212 Aren't we? 79 00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:20,706 When you really think about it? 80 00:03:21,149 --> 00:03:22,284 ♪ 81 00:03:22,388 --> 00:03:24,180 Yeah, we are. 82 00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:26,586 Okay, um... 83 00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:29,148 I'm Izzy. 84 00:03:30,718 --> 00:03:32,119 This is Izzy. 85 00:03:32,284 --> 00:03:34,763 She just said that. 86 00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:37,156 I'm sorry. I don't understand what's going on here. 87 00:03:37,158 --> 00:03:38,997 Why... why are you presenting your niece 88 00:03:38,999 --> 00:03:40,672 like it's her coming-out party? 89 00:03:41,385 --> 00:03:42,720 It's act... [Chuckles] it's kind of funny 90 00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:45,883 you used the phrase "coming out," um, because... 91 00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:50,544 Because, um, I'm not their niece. 92 00:03:51,303 --> 00:03:52,838 - WOMAN: Oh. - MAN: Um... 93 00:03:53,906 --> 00:03:55,424 We're together! 94 00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:58,205 We're a throuple. 95 00:03:59,778 --> 00:04:01,580 [Murmuring] 96 00:04:02,016 --> 00:04:04,508 We're living together, like romantically. 97 00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:05,984 Mm-hmm. 98 00:04:06,051 --> 00:04:07,983 [Murmuring] 99 00:04:08,135 --> 00:04:10,826 Yeah, so cheers, everyone, okay? 100 00:04:10,828 --> 00:04:11,933 - Cheers. - Cheers. 101 00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:13,234 - Cheers. - Cheers. 102 00:04:13,792 --> 00:04:16,498 [Chatter] 103 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:18,566 - Keep Portland weird. - Keep Portland weird. 104 00:04:18,568 --> 00:04:19,688 - Oh, my God. - [Cellphone clicking] 105 00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:21,435 A third... what's that called? Polygamy? 106 00:04:21,733 --> 00:04:22,909 - Polyamory. - Polyamory. 107 00:04:22,911 --> 00:04:24,687 So Emma's bisexual now? 108 00:04:24,689 --> 00:04:26,824 Yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah. 109 00:04:26,826 --> 00:04:28,113 We both are. I'm bisexual. 110 00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:29,402 Sorry, I... 111 00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:30,877 H... hang on. 112 00:04:31,109 --> 00:04:33,651 Um, Ava, you're the one 113 00:04:33,653 --> 00:04:36,338 who showed me Jacqueline Isabelle's profile. 114 00:04:37,282 --> 00:04:38,416 What? 115 00:04:39,188 --> 00:04:41,286 I... I... I don't... 116 00:04:41,353 --> 00:04:42,867 Oh. 117 00:04:43,004 --> 00:04:46,425 The Trakarskys and... and the Amaris 118 00:04:46,492 --> 00:04:49,364 are scheming against me once again. 119 00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:52,196 Only this time, they've recruited my own daughter 120 00:04:52,198 --> 00:04:55,003 to cover up their degenerate sexcapades. 121 00:04:55,306 --> 00:04:58,437 You know, wow, really does sound tawdry the way she says it. 122 00:04:58,961 --> 00:05:00,441 And, little Missy, 123 00:05:00,617 --> 00:05:03,762 you can say bye-bye to that shiny new 3 Series. 124 00:05:03,764 --> 00:05:06,979 No, no, no. I earned that car. 125 00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,597 I'm gonna be class president. 126 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:09,734 Mm. 127 00:05:09,964 --> 00:05:12,317 Ava, not to pile on, but that deal's off the table 128 00:05:12,319 --> 00:05:13,662 now that I don't work there anymore. 129 00:05:13,663 --> 00:05:15,106 You were also bribing her? 130 00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:16,981 God damn it, we really should've brought notes. 131 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:21,256 Yes. Yes, they... they tried to bribe me. 132 00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:24,570 And Emma threatened to break my leg if I didn't help them. 133 00:05:24,572 --> 00:05:28,000 - [Murmuring] - I was so scared, Mommy. 134 00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,935 "Mommy," really? 135 00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:31,403 Seriously? 136 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:33,504 Okay, you know what? Everybody calm down. 137 00:05:33,506 --> 00:05:36,803 While certain elements of what Ava said are true... 138 00:05:36,805 --> 00:05:38,746 Yeah, let's... let's stick to the facts, Ava. 139 00:05:38,748 --> 00:05:41,920 I threatened to hurt her if she told her mother, 140 00:05:41,922 --> 00:05:43,147 not to make her help us. 141 00:05:43,149 --> 00:05:44,172 Oh, well... 142 00:05:44,174 --> 00:05:45,909 - Emma. - [Murmuring] 143 00:05:45,911 --> 00:05:49,123 Then suddenly our lives became a suburban revival of "The Crucible." 144 00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:54,664 This deviant relationship... i... it might be official now, 145 00:05:55,373 --> 00:05:58,116 but your contract with the Hamilton School is not. 146 00:05:58,118 --> 00:06:00,213 And I promise you the Alumni Board 147 00:06:00,232 --> 00:06:02,792 are gonna find this new information 148 00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:04,267 very interesting. 149 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:06,303 - [Chuckles] - You're awesome. 150 00:06:06,838 --> 00:06:08,871 [Murmuring] 151 00:06:08,873 --> 00:06:09,809 Em... 152 00:06:09,811 --> 00:06:13,979 ♪ 153 00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:26,870 EMMA: It's all cool. 154 00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:30,032 Everybody just... you guys relax. 155 00:06:30,034 --> 00:06:31,596 Don't look so worried. 156 00:06:31,663 --> 00:06:33,241 It's fine. 157 00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:35,934 We're so fucked. 158 00:06:36,552 --> 00:06:37,803 No. 159 00:06:37,869 --> 00:06:39,353 No, we are so fucked. 160 00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,482 I'm gonna lose my promotion, and... 161 00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,757 I mean, what was I thinking? What was I thinking? 162 00:06:43,759 --> 00:06:45,505 Who threatens to break a little girl's leg? 163 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,162 - We're gonna lose everything. - No, we're not. 164 00:06:47,163 --> 00:06:48,283 - Yeah, we are. - No, we're not. 165 00:06:48,284 --> 00:06:49,271 Yeah, we are. 166 00:06:49,273 --> 00:06:51,048 - We're gonna lose everything. - Emma, no, listen to me. 167 00:06:51,049 --> 00:06:52,208 Yes, listen, you don't have a job. 168 00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:54,565 - I'm gonna lose... - Listen to me, okay? 169 00:06:54,824 --> 00:06:55,927 Kiss me. 170 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,066 Kiss me 171 00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:59,400 like you saw my plane crash, 172 00:06:59,596 --> 00:07:01,349 but you didn't know I parachuted out 173 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,694 until I came up behind you and tapped you on the shoulder. 174 00:07:03,695 --> 00:07:05,299 - Okay. - Okay? 175 00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:12,799 Okay, s... so that's, like, a thing with you guys. 176 00:07:13,505 --> 00:07:15,907 Well, I... I can do that. 177 00:07:15,974 --> 00:07:17,242 Watch this. 178 00:07:17,275 --> 00:07:20,107 Kiss me like I just went Uma fucking Thurman 179 00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:22,271 on 40 ninja assassins, 180 00:07:22,273 --> 00:07:24,762 and... and zip-lined you to safety. 181 00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:27,149 [Both chuckle] 182 00:07:32,547 --> 00:07:33,624 All right, my turn. 183 00:07:33,626 --> 00:07:34,657 Kiss me 184 00:07:34,843 --> 00:07:37,430 like we're two astronauts, 185 00:07:37,432 --> 00:07:39,798 and there's a comet headed for the earth. 186 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,193 And we mount it, we manage to divert it, 187 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,419 but at the last second, your boot gets stuck. 188 00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:45,659 - Oh. - Right? 189 00:07:45,661 --> 00:07:47,804 And I'm like, "I'm not leaving you, honey. 190 00:07:47,873 --> 00:07:49,604 No way," right? 191 00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:51,930 And then the Aerosmith song starts playing, 192 00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:53,974 and we stop bickering just long enough 193 00:07:53,976 --> 00:07:55,437 - to grab each other... - Sorry. 194 00:07:55,439 --> 00:07:56,858 Um... 195 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,685 So, it's not so much kissing as it is like... 196 00:07:59,951 --> 00:08:02,578 like knocking visors. 197 00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:04,841 We're about to die anyway, so we take off our helmets. 198 00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,494 Just grab each other by the face. 199 00:08:06,496 --> 00:08:08,452 Well, yeah, but at which point, your head would, like, explode 200 00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:10,122 because you're hurtling through space at like a million miles... 201 00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,296 - Oh, just kiss me. - Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 202 00:08:12,298 --> 00:08:13,624 I mean, I won't even ask 203 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,276 how two people can possibly divert a... 204 00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,581 You know what? I... I've got a good one. 205 00:08:18,770 --> 00:08:23,308 Kiss me like I built a time machine 206 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,021 and I went back to the night 207 00:08:25,023 --> 00:08:26,958 that Lori Matherfield's parents met, 208 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,337 seduced her father, married him, 209 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,793 devoted five years making sure 210 00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:35,645 that no version of Lori was ever conceived, 211 00:08:35,647 --> 00:08:39,581 built another time machine in our basement 212 00:08:40,397 --> 00:08:43,200 with, like, crude 1970s technology, 213 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:45,489 then finally made my way to you. 214 00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,470 Oh, that is good. 215 00:08:47,605 --> 00:08:51,075 That is so, so good. [Chuckles] 216 00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:54,279 Not as good as the astronaut one. 217 00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:02,745 Okay, can you guys... disengage? 218 00:09:02,747 --> 00:09:03,804 'Cause it's my turn. 219 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,727 - Kiss me like... - You know what? 220 00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:06,930 I'm gonna need a tongue break. 221 00:09:06,932 --> 00:09:09,138 - She's done. - No, you... you guys were great. 222 00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,588 - Yeah, awesome. - Thanks. 223 00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:11,790 Okay, but just for the record, 224 00:09:11,791 --> 00:09:13,560 - I had a really good one, so it's gonna be... - Hey. 225 00:09:13,561 --> 00:09:15,179 - ... clearly the best of the night. - It's not... 226 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,564 Guys, it's not a competition. 227 00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:17,925 - Of course it's not. - No. 228 00:09:18,412 --> 00:09:19,945 No, it's about you. 229 00:09:20,396 --> 00:09:21,820 But if it was... 230 00:09:22,935 --> 00:09:24,195 - I would've won. - ... I could... 231 00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:25,415 Uh, guys. 232 00:09:26,328 --> 00:09:27,706 It's a tie. 233 00:09:27,772 --> 00:09:30,415 I declare this a tie, so thank you. 234 00:09:30,417 --> 00:09:32,056 - Okay. - And thank you. 235 00:09:32,058 --> 00:09:33,137 - Thank you. - Thank you. 236 00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:35,256 I can live with that. 237 00:09:35,352 --> 00:09:36,501 I can totally live with that. 238 00:09:36,502 --> 00:09:38,103 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 239 00:09:40,248 --> 00:09:42,330 Deep down, you'll always know that I won. 240 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,873 - Oh, come on. She... - You know what? 241 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,801 You were great. You were great. 242 00:09:46,067 --> 00:09:49,728 ♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round ♪ 243 00:09:50,128 --> 00:09:52,197 ♪ Round and round, round and round ♪ 244 00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:55,314 I can't believe they used our party for their dumbass announcement. 245 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,148 Should we start watching our language around Callie? 246 00:09:57,149 --> 00:09:59,217 - Why? - Gonna go to pre-pre-school next year 247 00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,437 and tell everybody to suck her dick? 248 00:10:00,438 --> 00:10:02,877 - I think we're fine. Ah-om! - Mmm. 249 00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:04,966 Have you even told Jack what massive cock-turd he is yet? 250 00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,537 Honey, it's 7:40 in the morning. 251 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,144 I will give him a thorough castigation when I get to work. 252 00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,272 Should we have their backs on this thing? 253 00:10:11,273 --> 00:10:13,465 - Hey, hey. - No, of course not. That's stupid. 254 00:10:13,515 --> 00:10:15,783 Freaking out is totally the appropriate reaction to have 255 00:10:15,785 --> 00:10:18,866 to your best neighbor friends pulling a permanent threesome. 256 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,403 Hello, Dave? 257 00:10:20,405 --> 00:10:21,424 Oh, I'm sorry. 258 00:10:21,426 --> 00:10:23,027 I thought you were doing a rhetorical monologue... 259 00:10:23,028 --> 00:10:25,748 kind of a one-woman show thing. There some in there? 260 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,209 I just can't help but feel a little bit... 261 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,215 Open, open. 262 00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:29,476 ... I don't know... Lori-esque. 263 00:10:29,478 --> 00:10:30,867 Like, maybe we've become... 264 00:10:30,869 --> 00:10:32,800 - Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba. - ... uncool. 265 00:10:33,505 --> 00:10:34,936 Uncool? 266 00:10:35,257 --> 00:10:37,145 What are you talking about? I smoke weed. 267 00:10:37,147 --> 00:10:40,067 A... and I stay right on top of my Spotify Discover Weekly. 268 00:10:40,069 --> 00:10:41,962 I mean, lately it has been recommending the Fray 269 00:10:41,964 --> 00:10:42,997 based on artists I like, 270 00:10:42,999 --> 00:10:44,672 which is, uh, a little unsettling. 271 00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,205 You know, we say smoke weed, 272 00:10:46,207 --> 00:10:47,739 but when was the last time we actually did it? 273 00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:49,574 When was the last time we did something sexual 274 00:10:49,576 --> 00:10:51,889 anyone would find remotely disturbing, even Lori? 275 00:10:51,891 --> 00:10:53,098 When was the last time we even just... 276 00:10:53,099 --> 00:10:54,231 Okay, I get it. So, you're saying 277 00:10:54,232 --> 00:10:55,540 that we're provincial and we're judgmental 278 00:10:55,541 --> 00:10:57,771 because what, we're... we're not cool anymore? 279 00:10:57,773 --> 00:10:59,242 We're too uncool? 280 00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:01,130 Does that matter to us? 281 00:11:03,526 --> 00:11:04,916 No. [Chuckles] 282 00:11:04,918 --> 00:11:06,672 No. No. 283 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:08,813 Oh, okay, 'cause I was gonna say yes. 284 00:11:08,815 --> 00:11:10,343 - Fuck, I knew it. - Fuck. 285 00:11:13,743 --> 00:11:15,651 Maybe we start to clean it up a little bit. 286 00:11:15,653 --> 00:11:18,723 ♪ 287 00:11:30,196 --> 00:11:35,401 [Indistinct conversation] 288 00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:40,682 [Telephone ringing] 289 00:11:41,807 --> 00:11:43,209 Hey, Dani. 290 00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:44,810 How's it hangin', boss woman? 291 00:11:44,877 --> 00:11:46,345 [Chuckles] 292 00:11:46,347 --> 00:11:47,671 Sorry, that was... that was dumb. 293 00:11:48,295 --> 00:11:49,895 Well, hey, what a surprise. 294 00:11:49,897 --> 00:11:51,550 Yeah, so... 295 00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:53,468 Uh... Wait, why? 296 00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:54,861 Come on in, have a seat. 297 00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:56,661 Okay. Um... 298 00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,681 There is a little situation 299 00:11:59,683 --> 00:12:01,595 that I kind of want to get in front of. 300 00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:03,763 You're referring to your new domestic arrangement? 301 00:12:03,829 --> 00:12:05,348 Uh... 302 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,540 Very progressive, so cool, 303 00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:09,319 all about it, or don't give a shit. 304 00:12:09,321 --> 00:12:10,719 Whichever, pick one. 305 00:12:11,585 --> 00:12:13,516 [Chuckles] Wow. 306 00:12:14,635 --> 00:12:16,480 Phew. You... You don't know how relieved it makes me 307 00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:17,526 to hear you say that. 308 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,936 Please tell me that you did not threaten 309 00:12:19,938 --> 00:12:22,467 to break the leg of a Hamilton student. 310 00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:26,101 It was just a misunderstanding, right? 311 00:12:26,183 --> 00:12:27,351 Um... 312 00:12:29,078 --> 00:12:32,447 Well, I... I wouldn't categorize it 313 00:12:32,449 --> 00:12:34,359 so much as a misunderstanding... 314 00:12:34,361 --> 00:12:35,619 - Fuck a puppy! - What? 315 00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,063 No! No puppy fucking. 316 00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:38,798 We... We were under a lot of stress. 317 00:12:39,262 --> 00:12:40,963 Did you know that she was blackmailing us? 318 00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:43,179 Honestly, this Lori person sounds like a real cunt. 319 00:12:43,277 --> 00:12:44,554 Yes, she is. 320 00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,097 She really is a... 321 00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,221 Are... Are we using that word now? 322 00:12:48,223 --> 00:12:49,324 We're owning it. 323 00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:52,692 Look, everyone is scared shitless of her, 324 00:12:52,694 --> 00:12:55,307 and she has threatened to send out a blanket e-mail 325 00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,092 to all of the Hamilton parents 326 00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:59,037 if they didn't take this issue seriously. 327 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,126 We're gonna have to deal with it. 328 00:13:02,539 --> 00:13:04,140 Okay. 329 00:13:06,511 --> 00:13:09,822 Well, by "deal with it" you mean you've got my back. 330 00:13:11,059 --> 00:13:12,063 Right, Dani? 331 00:13:12,065 --> 00:13:13,422 Of course. 332 00:13:13,641 --> 00:13:15,451 We're just going to delay the announcement 333 00:13:15,453 --> 00:13:17,465 of your promotion a couple of weeks. 334 00:13:17,777 --> 00:13:18,904 [Chuckles] 335 00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,373 I see. 336 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:24,937 You know, 337 00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:26,314 Danielle, 338 00:13:26,695 --> 00:13:28,335 you have been dangling partner 339 00:13:28,337 --> 00:13:30,296 over my head for three years now, 340 00:13:30,298 --> 00:13:32,845 always just jerking it out of reach at the last minute. 341 00:13:32,847 --> 00:13:35,443 But instead of complaining ... instead of complaining, 342 00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:38,175 I keep grinding, and I nailed that Hamilton School... 343 00:13:38,177 --> 00:13:40,419 Dangling, jerking, grinding, nailing... 344 00:13:40,421 --> 00:13:43,863 I'm gonna stop you right there before this turns into a porno. 345 00:13:43,929 --> 00:13:45,482 [Sighs] 346 00:13:45,484 --> 00:13:47,733 We're also sliding you off Hamilton 347 00:13:47,735 --> 00:13:49,381 and onto the PBJ project. 348 00:13:49,735 --> 00:13:51,270 What the fuck is PBJ? 349 00:13:51,804 --> 00:13:54,429 Overpriced clothing for rug rats to vomit on. 350 00:13:54,858 --> 00:13:57,106 Wait, it might be one of those granola grocery stores 351 00:13:57,108 --> 00:13:59,569 where you're never really sure what they do or don't have. 352 00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:00,813 Thanks, Danielle. 353 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:02,864 So much for women helping women. 354 00:14:02,866 --> 00:14:04,195 I'm not a woman. 355 00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,618 I'm an architect. 356 00:14:06,216 --> 00:14:07,286 Are we good? 357 00:14:07,353 --> 00:14:08,372 We're great. 358 00:14:08,374 --> 00:14:09,694 We're amazing. 359 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,496 I'm really digging this new look you got going on here. 360 00:14:17,563 --> 00:14:19,335 You're like that suburban mom with five kids 361 00:14:19,337 --> 00:14:21,498 who just wakes up in the morning, just like, "Fuck it." 362 00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,144 Did you drive you minivan here? 363 00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:24,904 Is that a no? 364 00:14:25,361 --> 00:14:26,729 Are those slippers? 365 00:14:26,731 --> 00:14:29,146 Yep, they're indoor-outdoor, okay? 366 00:14:29,148 --> 00:14:30,427 I've been unemployed for like two days. 367 00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:32,020 Will you let me enjoy a few more 368 00:14:32,022 --> 00:14:35,196 without any belts or zippers or shoelaces? 369 00:14:35,198 --> 00:14:36,582 Mm-hmm. 370 00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:39,454 That was quite the performance you three put on at the Amaris'. 371 00:14:39,456 --> 00:14:40,920 - Oh, God. - Oh, yeah. 372 00:14:40,986 --> 00:14:42,359 What? 373 00:14:42,398 --> 00:14:44,189 No, it's nothing. It's all good. 374 00:14:44,588 --> 00:14:46,323 Oh, really? It's all good, is it? 375 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,919 - Mm-hmm. - Please. 376 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,696 You guys were like a slow-motion train wreck 377 00:14:49,698 --> 00:14:51,096 I couldn't seem to look away from. 378 00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:52,826 Like, when did you and Emma actually decide to make 379 00:14:52,827 --> 00:14:54,554 that fucked-up decision? 'Cause last I remember, 380 00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,213 - you ended it. - Hey. 381 00:14:56,215 --> 00:14:57,436 You want to know what I think? 382 00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,563 No. Absolutely not. 383 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,191 There's literally no part of me 384 00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:02,435 that wants to hear what you think. 385 00:15:02,436 --> 00:15:03,929 I think it's entirely possible 386 00:15:04,308 --> 00:15:07,104 that you just introduced your first wife to her first wife. 387 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,624 Okay, you know what? 388 00:15:09,626 --> 00:15:11,316 This... this has happened our whole lives. 389 00:15:11,318 --> 00:15:13,116 The more you talk, the less sense you make. 390 00:15:13,118 --> 00:15:14,753 I'm just gonna get up, walk away 391 00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,003 before you start yelling out random word combinations. 392 00:15:17,005 --> 00:15:18,557 Blender, vagina, fullback. 393 00:15:18,624 --> 00:15:20,750 Yoga, pistachio. Buttplug. 394 00:15:21,271 --> 00:15:22,547 Fucking unbelievable. 395 00:15:22,549 --> 00:15:24,058 - I don't want to know. - Hey. 396 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,152 I'm gonna quit my job. 397 00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:27,125 You know, maybe... maybe not today, 398 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,902 maybe not tomorrow, but real God damn soon. 399 00:15:29,969 --> 00:15:31,180 [Gabe laughs] 400 00:15:31,182 --> 00:15:33,348 That's awesome. That'd be great. 401 00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,686 You know, unemployed polygamists? 402 00:15:34,764 --> 00:15:36,517 Oh, yeah. You should just shave your heads 403 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,324 and get, like, crazy tribal face tattoos. 404 00:15:38,326 --> 00:15:40,045 You know, just fuck it, right, cuz? 405 00:15:40,112 --> 00:15:41,240 - What do you think? - Yeah. 406 00:15:41,242 --> 00:15:42,227 Be good for you? 407 00:15:42,229 --> 00:15:44,629 Can we talk somewhere a little more, you know, private? 408 00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:46,130 Sure, yeah, that's where I was going. 409 00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:47,160 I'll leave you with this 410 00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:49,350 because it's suddenly taken on greater relevance. 411 00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:50,872 I got a connection at Griffin College, 412 00:15:50,873 --> 00:15:52,657 and it seems they're expanding their psych department. 413 00:15:52,658 --> 00:15:55,594 So I will get you a meeting, little brother. 414 00:15:55,661 --> 00:15:57,596 Okay? Got some sauce right there. 415 00:15:57,598 --> 00:15:58,633 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 416 00:15:58,635 --> 00:15:59,665 - Yeah. - Yeah. 417 00:15:59,732 --> 00:16:01,266 That's a good one. 418 00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,873 Did I hear you say that you were... 419 00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:04,913 I hate my boss, and I want to quit my job. 420 00:16:04,915 --> 00:16:05,994 Yeah. 421 00:16:06,479 --> 00:16:10,083 [Chatter] 422 00:16:10,209 --> 00:16:12,945 ♪ 423 00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:30,796 Hello. 424 00:16:30,798 --> 00:16:32,499 Hello. 425 00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:42,775 ♪ 426 00:16:46,684 --> 00:16:48,447 You're such a gaping asshole. 427 00:16:48,514 --> 00:16:50,512 You're a walking tourist attraction. 428 00:16:50,514 --> 00:16:52,584 The world's largest asshole. 429 00:16:59,992 --> 00:17:01,660 So, what now? 430 00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:03,615 Duh... pizza. 431 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,509 How are you not obese? 432 00:17:05,997 --> 00:17:07,933 Uh, well, it's genetic. 433 00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:11,812 From the aliens that my ancestors mated with 434 00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:12,947 thousands of years ago. 435 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,673 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 436 00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:17,782 Just to make sure... you do remember that I quit my job, right? 437 00:17:17,784 --> 00:17:20,027 Well, that firm has been ass-fucking me 438 00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:21,136 for three years now. 439 00:17:21,138 --> 00:17:22,632 - MAN: Wow. - Sorry. 440 00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:24,761 Not literally. That would be horrible. 441 00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:25,964 Not to mention actionable. 442 00:17:26,669 --> 00:17:28,220 Is "ass-fucking" an industry term 443 00:17:28,222 --> 00:17:29,384 for "made you partner"? 444 00:17:29,705 --> 00:17:31,087 Yeah, well, that's 445 00:17:31,549 --> 00:17:33,243 kinda, sorta been retracted. 446 00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:35,627 What? Seriously? 447 00:17:35,629 --> 00:17:36,962 I'm so sorry. 448 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:40,432 You know how long I've wanted to start my own firm? 449 00:17:41,271 --> 00:17:42,864 Honestly, I don't remember you ever saying that before. 450 00:17:42,865 --> 00:17:45,067 Yeah, I mean, Dani's... Dani's trying to shove me out, 451 00:17:45,069 --> 00:17:46,705 so maybe I turn this into a leap. 452 00:17:46,707 --> 00:17:48,774 You know? A... A leap into my bliss. 453 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,815 A bliss leap. 454 00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,876 I'm gonna make this into a bliss leap. 455 00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,425 Wait, are you high right now? 456 00:17:53,427 --> 00:17:54,882 No, I... I don't know what I am. 457 00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:57,714 I... I just, like... I just... 458 00:17:57,716 --> 00:17:58,825 Listen. 459 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,120 Take it easy, okay? 460 00:18:01,186 --> 00:18:03,455 - Kiss me like we're... - Jack. 461 00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,657 You don't need to do that. 462 00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:08,127 Just tell me it's all gonna be okay. 463 00:18:08,193 --> 00:18:09,215 It's gonna be okay. 464 00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:11,706 We're gonna be okay. I promise. 465 00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:13,577 - We are, right? - Yeah. 466 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:17,936 [Rap music playing] 467 00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,665 So, I got a job at Shaun's bar. 468 00:18:21,094 --> 00:18:23,111 That's why I wasn't in class. 469 00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,004 So you dropped out of college to pursue mixology? 470 00:18:26,211 --> 00:18:28,142 Respect. Good call. 471 00:18:28,144 --> 00:18:30,559 I switched my class, smartass. 472 00:18:30,561 --> 00:18:33,069 - Mm. - But the point is... 473 00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:36,301 [Sighs] I got a real job. 474 00:18:36,819 --> 00:18:38,944 So you quit escorting. 475 00:18:40,399 --> 00:18:41,658 For Andy. 476 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,662 Whoa, Nellie. 477 00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:46,490 Just, you know, pump your brakes, Speed Racer. 478 00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:48,544 Mnh-mnh, no. 479 00:18:49,218 --> 00:18:51,821 So you're seriously falling for him? 480 00:18:52,104 --> 00:18:53,305 I'm scared shitless. 481 00:18:53,372 --> 00:18:54,413 I can't sleep. 482 00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:55,917 I'm... 483 00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:58,514 Do you really think that I'm rebound girl? 484 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,057 Well, that's... 485 00:19:00,984 --> 00:19:02,441 Okay... I mean... 486 00:19:03,311 --> 00:19:06,459 define "rebound," because in basketball... 487 00:19:06,461 --> 00:19:08,029 - Oh, God. - Okay. 488 00:19:08,031 --> 00:19:10,090 Nin, I just don't want you to get hurt. 489 00:19:10,522 --> 00:19:13,822 I just broke up with him like five minutes ago. 490 00:19:14,034 --> 00:19:15,607 So maybe it's love, but honest... 491 00:19:15,609 --> 00:19:16,554 No, okay, I know. 492 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,740 It's like, um, 493 00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:21,096 eight years of suppressed Valentine's Days, 494 00:19:21,098 --> 00:19:22,866 all the 1980s Rom-coms, 495 00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:25,691 and every fucking Jane Austen novel collided 496 00:19:25,693 --> 00:19:27,206 and became a super ovary. 497 00:19:27,272 --> 00:19:30,609 [Music continues] 498 00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:33,181 Listen to me, 499 00:19:33,183 --> 00:19:35,868 'cause I need to be very super fucking clear. 500 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,806 Do not say the "L" word to him. 501 00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:40,259 - Okay. - Not yet. 502 00:19:40,327 --> 00:19:42,233 - Not yet. - I can do that. 503 00:19:42,674 --> 00:19:44,831 I mean, not do that. 504 00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,069 - Okay. - Okay. 505 00:19:46,256 --> 00:19:48,225 Do you even want to be a college professor? 506 00:19:48,852 --> 00:19:49,877 I don't know, to be honest. 507 00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:50,934 I hadn't really thought about it. 508 00:19:50,935 --> 00:19:52,763 I mean, 'cause I don't want to push you into anything. 509 00:19:52,764 --> 00:19:53,871 Pbht. 510 00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,251 What's that supposed to mean? 511 00:19:55,271 --> 00:19:57,109 - Pbht? - Oh, it's just... 512 00:19:57,111 --> 00:19:58,867 [Cellphones chime] 513 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,296 - Carmen and Dave. - Yeah. 514 00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:06,197 Apparently, they want to go on a double date 515 00:20:06,198 --> 00:20:07,575 with me, you, and Izzy. 516 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,877 Seems like they're making an effort 517 00:20:09,879 --> 00:20:11,857 not to find us self-destructive and moronic. 518 00:20:11,859 --> 00:20:13,577 - [Chuckles] - I mean, that... that's something. 519 00:20:13,578 --> 00:20:14,970 Yeah, here's to something. 520 00:20:14,972 --> 00:20:16,732 - Here's to something. - [Cellphone chimes] 521 00:20:17,389 --> 00:20:19,772 Apparently, I have an interview at Griffin tomorrow. 522 00:20:21,592 --> 00:20:22,728 Hey. 523 00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:24,385 I mean, how bad can that be, right? 524 00:20:24,387 --> 00:20:26,834 It's not like you're working the late-night drive-through 525 00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:28,453 - at Taco Bell or anything. - Mm-hmm. 526 00:20:28,746 --> 00:20:30,181 I mean, if... if you want to, 527 00:20:30,183 --> 00:20:31,657 'cause, you know, I don't want to push you into anything. 528 00:20:31,658 --> 00:20:32,552 - No. - No. 529 00:20:32,554 --> 00:20:33,589 - Please don't. - I would not. 530 00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:35,593 I'll just push you in this doorway right here. 531 00:20:38,499 --> 00:20:40,435 [Cellphone ringing] 532 00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:42,875 Oh, it's Emma. 533 00:20:43,615 --> 00:20:44,894 Just take it. 534 00:20:44,896 --> 00:20:46,856 I'd hate for you to get in trouble with the wifey. 535 00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:48,489 [Cellphone beeps] 536 00:20:48,499 --> 00:20:49,821 Hi, monkey. 537 00:20:49,888 --> 00:20:52,010 - [Door opens] - ANDREW: Hello. 538 00:20:52,891 --> 00:20:54,359 Oh. Oh, hey. 539 00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:56,161 'Sup? 540 00:20:57,730 --> 00:21:00,087 IZZY: No, it's just, uh... 541 00:21:00,475 --> 00:21:02,380 It's surprising. 542 00:21:03,543 --> 00:21:05,211 Stop that immediately. 543 00:21:05,213 --> 00:21:06,814 Where do they want to go? 544 00:21:07,778 --> 00:21:10,086 No, that's... I'm in. 545 00:21:11,510 --> 00:21:13,297 Nope, it's all good. Bye. 546 00:21:13,511 --> 00:21:15,386 [Clears throat] Andrew. 547 00:21:15,395 --> 00:21:17,286 - Isabelle. - Okay, this is still weird. 548 00:21:17,288 --> 00:21:19,450 Well, doesn't help when you braid tongues in front of me. 549 00:21:19,451 --> 00:21:21,453 I got to skedaddle anyway. 550 00:21:21,896 --> 00:21:24,051 Emma and Jack are picking me up. 551 00:21:24,053 --> 00:21:25,450 - Aww. - Aww. 552 00:21:25,676 --> 00:21:28,602 For a double date with Carmen and Dave. 553 00:21:28,604 --> 00:21:29,623 Oh. 554 00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:32,690 Amaris have chosen the venue... China Girl. 555 00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:33,686 China Girl? 556 00:21:33,688 --> 00:21:35,354 Oh, my God, they did that for you. 557 00:21:35,356 --> 00:21:37,536 They want you to think that they're, you know, cool. 558 00:21:37,538 --> 00:21:38,565 It's pretty cute. 559 00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:39,737 - Yeah. - Okay, wait. 560 00:21:39,739 --> 00:21:41,271 You have to promise me that you're gonna get video 561 00:21:41,272 --> 00:21:42,709 of the 30-somethings dancing. 562 00:21:44,995 --> 00:21:46,543 [Laughs] 563 00:21:46,545 --> 00:21:48,983 You're a horrible person, but of course I will. 564 00:21:49,815 --> 00:21:51,140 Bye, Boo. 565 00:21:51,283 --> 00:21:53,560 [Door opens, closes] 566 00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,834 [House music playing] 567 00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:57,556 [Cheering] 568 00:21:57,622 --> 00:22:00,425 [Chatter] 569 00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:30,488 You chose this place? 570 00:22:30,806 --> 00:22:32,340 Not me, this one. 571 00:22:32,342 --> 00:22:35,279 I Googled "coolest Portland dance club." 572 00:22:35,329 --> 00:22:37,380 You sure you didn't accidently type in 573 00:22:37,382 --> 00:22:40,452 "greatest concentration of assholes in one place"? 574 00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:43,228 I might quit my job and start my own firm. 575 00:22:43,499 --> 00:22:46,026 - That's fucking awesome. - I know. Can you believe it? 576 00:22:46,028 --> 00:22:48,057 - Yeah. - Is it raining in here? 577 00:22:48,059 --> 00:22:49,434 I keep feeling these drops of... 578 00:22:49,436 --> 00:22:50,930 I think it's sweat, babe. 579 00:22:50,932 --> 00:22:52,237 Oh, God. 580 00:22:52,316 --> 00:22:55,052 Em, I just took a giant shit in my pants. 581 00:22:55,054 --> 00:22:57,904 I know, right? This place is amazing! 582 00:22:57,940 --> 00:22:59,542 We can say anything. 583 00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:02,280 Okay, guys, dance time. 584 00:23:02,616 --> 00:23:04,250 - Dave? - DAVE: Oh. 585 00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:05,754 Uh, I'm okay. 586 00:23:05,756 --> 00:23:07,620 I... I'm just gonna do like a little shoulder thing 587 00:23:07,621 --> 00:23:09,401 here in the dark if that's okay. 588 00:23:09,403 --> 00:23:11,049 Emma, don't do it. Remember last time? 589 00:23:11,051 --> 00:23:13,549 Yeah, but I'm so much drunker this time. 590 00:23:14,281 --> 00:23:16,491 Stranger sweat in my eye. 591 00:23:16,493 --> 00:23:18,282 - Honey... - Stranger sweat in my fucking eye. 592 00:23:18,283 --> 00:23:20,027 Okay, okay. All right, don't... careful. 593 00:23:20,029 --> 00:23:21,670 Don't touch anything in there! 594 00:23:21,672 --> 00:23:23,320 - ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ - Jack. 595 00:23:24,109 --> 00:23:25,449 Come on, Jack. 596 00:23:25,598 --> 00:23:27,867 ♪ For free ♪ 597 00:23:28,647 --> 00:23:31,328 ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ 598 00:23:33,118 --> 00:23:35,569 ♪ For free ♪ 599 00:23:36,326 --> 00:23:38,262 ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ 600 00:23:38,264 --> 00:23:41,801 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 601 00:23:41,803 --> 00:23:45,940 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 602 00:23:45,942 --> 00:23:49,546 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 603 00:23:49,548 --> 00:23:52,285 - ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ - Come on. 604 00:23:52,287 --> 00:23:56,758 [Laughs] 605 00:23:56,760 --> 00:24:00,764 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 606 00:24:00,766 --> 00:24:04,503 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 607 00:24:04,505 --> 00:24:05,973 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 608 00:24:06,428 --> 00:24:08,230 ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ 609 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,101 [Laughter] 610 00:24:11,423 --> 00:24:15,036 [Indistinct conversation] 611 00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:16,208 Whoa. 612 00:24:16,210 --> 00:24:18,146 That's, uh... that's romantic. 613 00:24:18,704 --> 00:24:20,356 We tried. Fuck this hell hole. 614 00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:21,665 Oh, there's my girl. 615 00:24:21,667 --> 00:24:23,904 What were in there for? Four or five hours? 616 00:24:24,392 --> 00:24:26,999 It was, uh, 27 minutes. 617 00:24:27,195 --> 00:24:29,529 - Did we ever go to places like this? - I don't know. 618 00:24:29,531 --> 00:24:31,140 I have a vague recollection, but I can't tell 619 00:24:31,141 --> 00:24:33,356 if it was a fever dream or a horror movie we saw. 620 00:24:33,358 --> 00:24:35,241 Think they even noticed that we left? 621 00:24:35,309 --> 00:24:38,061 Oh, is this about the thing I said about the bike? 622 00:24:38,063 --> 00:24:39,222 What bike? 623 00:24:39,224 --> 00:24:40,851 You know, the one that Emma remembered 624 00:24:40,853 --> 00:24:42,697 how to ride really fast. 625 00:24:42,699 --> 00:24:43,800 Hold on. 626 00:24:44,552 --> 00:24:47,130 Are you saying y... you don't think Emma's bi? 627 00:24:47,132 --> 00:24:49,279 You think she's just, like, gay? 628 00:24:49,281 --> 00:24:50,964 I don't know what I think, Carmen, okay? 629 00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:52,665 It's a lot for me to process, 630 00:24:52,667 --> 00:24:54,789 a lot of new information coming at me about my wife. 631 00:24:55,267 --> 00:24:56,426 It feels like just yesterday, 632 00:24:56,427 --> 00:24:58,495 I found out she even kissed a girl. 633 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,087 Pretty much was yesterday. 634 00:25:07,753 --> 00:25:10,151 Uh... Well, look at that. 635 00:25:10,153 --> 00:25:12,395 - Yeah, I had no idea. - It's, uh, time for us to be 636 00:25:12,397 --> 00:25:14,941 - anywhere else in the known universe. - It's... Mm-hmm. 637 00:25:14,943 --> 00:25:15,938 The sitter... we only had her 638 00:25:15,940 --> 00:25:17,500 for like 45 minutes tonight. 639 00:25:17,502 --> 00:25:19,571 Okay. Okay. 640 00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:22,561 You guys got to talk. 641 00:25:23,629 --> 00:25:24,919 You know? I mean, all three of you. 642 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,990 Don't just let it gurgle around in there. 643 00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:30,297 Yeah, you're right. 644 00:25:30,299 --> 00:25:32,358 Okay. You're right. 645 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:33,376 Okay. 646 00:25:33,705 --> 00:25:36,455 - Come on, let's go. - Okay. 647 00:25:36,826 --> 00:25:40,074 ♪ Well, I've known since the beat ♪ 648 00:25:40,076 --> 00:25:44,014 ♪ That I'm no measure in this song ♪ 649 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,831 ♪ Just the rest ♪ 650 00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:54,594 ♪ Well, I've known since the beat ♪ 651 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:58,233 ♪ That I'm no measure in this song ♪ 652 00:25:58,456 --> 00:26:02,525 ♪ Just the rest ♪ 653 00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:04,225 [Snoring] 654 00:26:06,583 --> 00:26:08,330 [Snoring] 655 00:26:11,783 --> 00:26:13,518 [Clears throat] 656 00:26:14,526 --> 00:26:15,725 Water. 657 00:26:16,514 --> 00:26:18,772 Dear God, why isn't there water? 658 00:26:20,516 --> 00:26:21,898 Maybe there was water, 659 00:26:22,084 --> 00:26:23,783 and karma took it away from you. 660 00:26:23,785 --> 00:26:24,831 Huh? 661 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,506 What's that supposed to mean? 662 00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:28,861 Are you mad? 663 00:26:29,358 --> 00:26:30,826 Mad? 664 00:26:30,874 --> 00:26:32,005 Why would I be mad? 665 00:26:32,303 --> 00:26:34,656 Who doesn't love a spirited public cuckolding? 666 00:26:34,772 --> 00:26:36,307 Seriously? 667 00:26:36,902 --> 00:26:39,571 We asked you to join us. 668 00:26:40,061 --> 00:26:41,439 Right? 669 00:26:41,902 --> 00:26:44,444 [Snoring] 670 00:26:45,102 --> 00:26:47,690 Okay, on your side here, Snuffles. 671 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,628 Mm. 672 00:26:50,183 --> 00:26:53,126 We just paid three 20-buck covers 673 00:26:53,128 --> 00:26:55,250 to share the ninth circle of hell 674 00:26:55,252 --> 00:26:58,020 with a bunch of sweaty, annoying hipsters. 675 00:26:58,307 --> 00:27:00,465 Now this one is laying between us 676 00:27:00,467 --> 00:27:02,965 snoring like an obese octogenarian. 677 00:27:03,464 --> 00:27:05,482 Am I the only one questioning our life choices right now? 678 00:27:05,483 --> 00:27:06,722 Okay, I hear you. 679 00:27:07,114 --> 00:27:08,606 But there is a small war 680 00:27:08,608 --> 00:27:10,353 going on inside my head right now. 681 00:27:10,957 --> 00:27:13,297 Can we possibly do this in the morning? 682 00:27:13,902 --> 00:27:15,455 Sure, why not? 683 00:27:15,457 --> 00:27:16,858 I love you. 684 00:27:17,342 --> 00:27:19,332 I'm sorry for being insensitive. 685 00:27:19,748 --> 00:27:22,605 Vodka got up in me before knew what was happening. 686 00:27:23,487 --> 00:27:24,735 Okay. 687 00:27:26,617 --> 00:27:28,085 I love you. 688 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:30,097 You already said that. 689 00:27:31,157 --> 00:27:34,120 I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. 690 00:27:39,216 --> 00:27:41,399 - [Snores] - Jack. 691 00:27:41,401 --> 00:27:43,366 You have to say it back. 692 00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:46,890 I love you more. 693 00:27:48,703 --> 00:27:50,891 [Snores] 694 00:27:50,893 --> 00:27:53,963 ♪ But love is trippy like that ♪ 695 00:27:53,965 --> 00:27:57,301 ♪ Sometimes you think that you've got it ♪ 696 00:27:57,303 --> 00:28:02,642 ♪ Nobody's gonna trick you outta this one, baby ♪ 697 00:28:03,051 --> 00:28:06,387 ♪ But love will slip through your hands ♪ 698 00:28:06,454 --> 00:28:11,392 ♪ You never know how to hold it, control it ♪ 699 00:28:11,394 --> 00:28:15,465 ♪ You're gripping, it's tripping you up ♪ 700 00:28:15,466 --> 00:28:20,466 Synced by peritta - corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com 48840

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