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Previously on Young
Sheldon... I'm Georgie.
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00:00:03,805 --> 00:00:04,890
Mandy.
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How about while this runs,
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00:00:05,974 --> 00:00:07,058
I take you to dinner?
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00:00:07,058 --> 00:00:08,685
How old are you?
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00:00:08,685 --> 00:00:10,187
Do not say 17.
7
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Twenty-one.
8
00:00:11,563 --> 00:00:14,357
Well, funny seeing you here.
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I'm just taking
a little dinner break.
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Here we go. Two margaritas.
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I love their margaritas.
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Well, this was fun.
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It was for me.
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00:00:24,743 --> 00:00:26,453
Nice meeting you.
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I don't want
to get ahead of myself,
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00:00:36,004 --> 00:00:38,048
but the strength
of the temperature deviations
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00:00:38,048 --> 00:00:40,050
is looking rather spicy.
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How spicy?
Five microkelvin.
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Muy caliente.
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00:00:44,262 --> 00:00:45,555
When should we publish?
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00:00:45,555 --> 00:00:47,307
Not yet. There's only
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00:00:47,307 --> 00:00:49,601
a three-sigma significance.
It needs to be higher.
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00:00:49,601 --> 00:00:52,604
That'd require a much
more robust signal.
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And you know
what that means.
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00:00:54,022 --> 00:00:56,399
Road trip to the
super telescope?
26
00:00:56,399 --> 00:00:58,568
Road trip
to the super telescope, baby.
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When are we leaving?
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Oh, right. You.
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00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:06,743
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
30
00:01:06,743 --> 00:01:09,579
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
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So far, the data
is extremely promising.
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Five microkelvin!
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Ah.
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00:01:28,306 --> 00:01:30,016
Well, you seem excited,
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00:01:30,016 --> 00:01:31,518
so... cool.
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00:01:31,518 --> 00:01:33,103
We just need
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00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:35,355
budget approval
to travel to the radio telescope
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00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:36,439
in the Davis Mountains.
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Fine by me.
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00:01:37,649 --> 00:01:40,235
Yes!
On to more pressing matters.
44
00:01:40,235 --> 00:01:43,071
Does Sheldon Cooper
have to come?
Shouldn't he?
45
00:01:43,071 --> 00:01:44,823
He is part of the team.
46
00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:47,617
But isn't there some rule
against minors traveling?
47
00:01:47,617 --> 00:01:49,619
No.
Can there be?
48
00:01:49,619 --> 00:01:51,997
No, it's better for the project
if he's out there
49
00:01:51,997 --> 00:01:53,540
in the field with you.
50
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:55,125
But isn't it better
for his education
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00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,085
if he stays here in class?
Oh, I think
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00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:58,962
that a trip like this
could be very educational
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00:01:58,962 --> 00:02:00,672
in its own way. Mm.
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00:02:00,672 --> 00:02:03,008
You just don't want him
around here bugging you.
55
00:02:03,008 --> 00:02:05,677
Winner winner
he's-going-with-you dinner.
56
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,476
Hey, there.
57
00:02:13,476 --> 00:02:16,104
You're Georgie's friend, right?
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Yeah. Mandy. Hi.
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00:02:18,148 --> 00:02:20,692
You grow up around here?
I did,
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00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:22,819
yeah. And then I, uh,
moved to San Antonio
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00:02:22,819 --> 00:02:24,154
for a while after college.
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00:02:24,154 --> 00:02:26,906
After college. Yeah.
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00:02:26,906 --> 00:02:29,909
A&M. Then I got an internship
at Good Morning San Antonio.
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00:02:29,909 --> 00:02:31,661
Uh-oh.
Then I worked my way up
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00:02:31,661 --> 00:02:33,330
to doing
the morning weather report.
Hey, y'all.
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00:02:33,330 --> 00:02:34,664
Well,
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00:02:34,664 --> 00:02:36,666
speak of the devil.
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00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:38,918
What's going on, ladies?
Just
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00:02:38,918 --> 00:02:40,670
getting to know Mandy here.
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00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:43,006
Yeah, I was telling her
about San Antonio.
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00:02:43,006 --> 00:02:45,550
Oh, she's from Texas. She
knows all about that stuff.
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00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:48,136
Anyways, I'll let you
get back to work. Well,
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00:02:48,136 --> 00:02:49,679
I'll leave you two kids be.
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00:02:49,679 --> 00:02:52,932
And listen to me,
calling you young adults "kids."
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00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:57,562
Like you were
still teenagers or something.
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00:02:57,562 --> 00:02:59,147
I wish.
77
00:03:02,859 --> 00:03:04,861
Mom, can I have your AAA card?
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00:03:04,861 --> 00:03:06,738
Why?
I need to order
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00:03:06,738 --> 00:03:09,115
a TripTik
for my road trip to Fort Davis.
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00:03:09,115 --> 00:03:11,076
Who said you could
go to Fort Davis?
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00:03:11,076 --> 00:03:12,369
President Hagemeyer.
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00:03:12,369 --> 00:03:14,662
Well, I didn't say you could go.
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00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:17,207
It's fine. I'll be with
Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter.
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00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:18,625
For how long?
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00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:19,751
Three days.
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00:03:19,751 --> 00:03:21,544
And they're okay with this?
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00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:23,004
Why wouldn't they be?
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00:03:23,004 --> 00:03:24,714
No reason.
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00:03:24,714 --> 00:03:25,882
Hmm.
Just the same,
90
00:03:25,882 --> 00:03:27,550
I'm gonna check in with them.
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00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:29,386
In the meantime, can I call AAA?
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00:03:29,386 --> 00:03:32,180
Can it please wait?
No.
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00:03:33,181 --> 00:03:35,517
Card is in my purse.
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00:03:35,517 --> 00:03:38,186
You're what guys call
"a keeper."
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00:03:46,152 --> 00:03:48,571
Mandy seems nice.
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00:03:48,571 --> 00:03:49,906
She's all right.
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00:03:49,906 --> 00:03:51,574
Things getting serious?
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00:03:51,574 --> 00:03:53,618
I don't know. Why?
Just wondering
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00:03:53,618 --> 00:03:56,204
when you were gonna tell her
your real age.
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00:03:56,204 --> 00:03:58,415
Age ain't nothing but a number. Yeah,
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00:03:58,415 --> 00:04:01,292
well, her number's
way bigger than your number.
102
00:04:01,292 --> 00:04:03,169
You ain't never lied
about your age?
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00:04:03,169 --> 00:04:04,921
I'm a lady. Different rules.
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00:04:04,921 --> 00:04:07,799
It's not a big deal.
We're just having fun. Yeah,
105
00:04:07,799 --> 00:04:09,551
well, before you have
too much fun,
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00:04:09,551 --> 00:04:10,927
you better tell her.
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00:04:10,927 --> 00:04:12,804
That sounds less fun.
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00:04:12,804 --> 00:04:14,597
Welcome to being an adult.
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00:04:14,597 --> 00:04:16,433
It sucks.
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00:04:18,601 --> 00:04:20,687
Dr. Linkletter? Mary Cooper.
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00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:22,230
Ah, Mrs. Cooper.
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00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:24,274
I assume
this is about the upcoming trip
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00:04:24,274 --> 00:04:26,901
and perhaps your
very understandable reluctance
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00:04:26,901 --> 00:04:28,445
to let Sheldon come.
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00:04:28,445 --> 00:04:31,781
I have to admit
I do have some concerns.
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00:04:31,781 --> 00:04:33,074
As you should.
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00:04:33,074 --> 00:04:34,409
So, you're saying you'd prefer
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00:04:34,409 --> 00:04:36,244
he not go with us?
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00:04:36,244 --> 00:04:38,830
But he'd be so disappointed.
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00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:40,790
Not more disappointed than me.
121
00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:43,835
So, you feel good
about him going?
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00:04:44,836 --> 00:04:46,880
Only if you feel good about it.
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00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,674
You're his parent. I'm just
an absentminded academic
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00:04:49,674 --> 00:04:51,301
who's never had children.
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00:04:51,301 --> 00:04:52,677
Come on, now.
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00:04:52,677 --> 00:04:54,137
You've been such a great help
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00:04:54,137 --> 00:04:56,264
looking after him at college.
128
00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:59,100
Yes, but college isn't the same
as three days in a van.
129
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,477
Huh.
130
00:05:00,477 --> 00:05:03,188
Sheldon can be
a nervous traveler.
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00:05:03,188 --> 00:05:06,441
Ah. Sounds like
you don't want him to go.
132
00:05:06,441 --> 00:05:09,068
No, I do want him to go.
I just want to make sure
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00:05:09,068 --> 00:05:12,030
that you and Dr. Sturgis
are okay with it.
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00:05:13,031 --> 00:05:14,824
We're okay with it.
135
00:05:14,824 --> 00:05:17,035
If you're okay with it.
136
00:05:17,035 --> 00:05:19,245
If you're okay with it,
I'm okay with it.
137
00:05:19,245 --> 00:05:22,081
Then it would seem
we're both okay with it.
138
00:05:22,081 --> 00:05:25,210
Okay.
Oh,
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00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:26,920
he's gonna be so happy.
140
00:05:27,921 --> 00:05:29,005
Uh-huh.
141
00:05:36,471 --> 00:05:37,805
You ready
for your road trip?
142
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,724
Yes. I'm plotting
bathroom breaks.
143
00:05:39,724 --> 00:05:41,601
It's tricky because I'm not sure
144
00:05:41,601 --> 00:05:44,229
how frequently Dr. Linkletter
and Dr. Sturgis need to urinate.
145
00:05:44,229 --> 00:05:46,189
Maybe I should call them.
146
00:05:46,189 --> 00:05:48,316
Ooh, I wouldn't. You ask
old guys about their bladder,
147
00:05:48,316 --> 00:05:50,443
you're in for
a long conversation.
148
00:05:50,443 --> 00:05:52,070
What's with the maps?
149
00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:53,863
I'm going with Dr. Sturgis
and Dr. Linkletter
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00:05:53,863 --> 00:05:56,282
to a radio telescope
in the Davis Mountains.
151
00:05:56,282 --> 00:05:57,825
Of course you are.
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00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:00,411
Problem?
Nope. He gets to do
153
00:06:00,411 --> 00:06:02,163
whatever he wants, and
I'm not even allowed
154
00:06:02,163 --> 00:06:03,790
to go the beach
with my friends.
155
00:06:03,790 --> 00:06:05,583
It's just a school trip.
156
00:06:05,583 --> 00:06:07,585
It's fine.
157
00:06:07,585 --> 00:06:09,879
Oh. Says here Fort Stockton
158
00:06:09,879 --> 00:06:11,923
is home to the world's
largest roadrunner statue,
159
00:06:11,923 --> 00:06:13,383
which is the stuff
of nightmares.
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00:06:13,383 --> 00:06:15,468
But they do have a restroom.
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00:06:17,762 --> 00:06:19,556
Can I talk to you?
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00:06:19,556 --> 00:06:21,307
Am I in trouble?
No.
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00:06:21,307 --> 00:06:22,433
It's about a girl.
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00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:24,352
Oh. You're in trouble.
165
00:06:24,352 --> 00:06:26,145
Yeah, sure.
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00:06:26,145 --> 00:06:28,815
I'm not really in trouble.
I'm just dating this girl,
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00:06:28,815 --> 00:06:30,400
and she's a little older
than me.
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00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,151
What's the problem?
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00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,821
She doesn't exactly know
how much older than me she is.
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00:06:34,821 --> 00:06:36,406
How much older is she?
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00:06:36,406 --> 00:06:37,907
Like ten years.
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00:06:37,907 --> 00:06:40,451
But she's blond
and she's really hot.
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00:06:41,119 --> 00:06:42,745
Well, that doesn't matter.
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00:06:42,745 --> 00:06:45,164
I mean, if you're lying to her,
that's not okay.
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00:06:45,164 --> 00:06:46,874
Hold on.
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00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,252
You're saying if you were my age
and dating this hot girl,
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00:06:49,252 --> 00:06:51,546
you'd tell her the truth
and blow your chances?
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00:06:51,546 --> 00:06:54,007
Well, that's not the question
you asked me.
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00:06:54,007 --> 00:06:55,592
So, what would you really do?
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00:06:57,468 --> 00:06:58,886
She married?
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00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,096
No.
She got kids?
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00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:01,764
No.
I don't see the problem.
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00:07:01,764 --> 00:07:03,600
Thank you.
My pleasure.
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00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,602
You're like the son
I never wanted.
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00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:10,732
Hey, I know
I don't work here anymore,
186
00:07:10,732 --> 00:07:12,984
but could I use
this office tonight?
187
00:07:12,984 --> 00:07:14,152
No.
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00:07:14,152 --> 00:07:15,320
Fine.
189
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,404
Did you used to?
190
00:07:17,989 --> 00:07:20,199
No.
191
00:07:24,454 --> 00:07:26,164
You might want to pace yourself.
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00:07:26,164 --> 00:07:28,166
Our next rest stop
isn't for another...
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00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:29,959
62 miles.
194
00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:31,961
If anyone needs to go
before that,
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00:07:31,961 --> 00:07:33,421
I've got a trucker's
buddy in back.
196
00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:34,589
What's that?
197
00:07:34,589 --> 00:07:36,341
A bottle you urinate in.
198
00:07:36,341 --> 00:07:37,425
I'm sorry,
199
00:07:37,425 --> 00:07:39,218
are we the Donner Party?
200
00:07:39,218 --> 00:07:41,137
Societal norms are different
on road trips.
201
00:07:41,137 --> 00:07:43,473
Normally, I don't eat junk food,
202
00:07:43,473 --> 00:07:46,309
but here, it's tradition.
203
00:07:46,309 --> 00:07:49,646
I'm not even sure
what a chicharron is.
204
00:07:49,646 --> 00:07:51,689
It's the deep-fried skin
of a pig.
205
00:07:51,689 --> 00:07:54,817
That seems like something
they should say on the bag.
206
00:07:54,817 --> 00:07:56,361
How about some music?
207
00:07:56,361 --> 00:07:58,154
No one likes music.
How about a car game?
208
00:07:58,154 --> 00:08:00,323
Ooh, I have a fun one
where I say
209
00:08:00,323 --> 00:08:02,200
a formula, and then you have
to say another formula
210
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,160
starting with the last letter
or number
211
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,329
that I said.
So, for example, if I said,
212
00:08:06,329 --> 00:08:08,581
"X" equals negative "B"
plus or minus...
Music it is.
213
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:17,590
I'm sorry I can't help out
on driving duty.
214
00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:19,967
You really never learned?
I got
215
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:23,388
my permit, but I've never been
comfortable behind the wheel.
216
00:08:23,388 --> 00:08:24,889
That's a shame.
217
00:08:24,889 --> 00:08:27,392
I do enjoy the tranquility
of the open road.
218
00:08:27,392 --> 00:08:30,395
I find it produces
a Zen-like calm.
219
00:08:30,395 --> 00:08:31,896
Mm.
220
00:08:31,896 --> 00:08:33,523
You know what else
is calming?
221
00:08:33,523 --> 00:08:34,691
A fun car game.
222
00:08:34,691 --> 00:08:36,234
How about this.
223
00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:37,944
We'll count
out-of-state license plates.
224
00:08:37,944 --> 00:08:39,779
First one to a hundred wins.
225
00:08:39,779 --> 00:08:41,864
Not as fun as mine,
but very well.
226
00:08:41,864 --> 00:08:43,324
Um... Ooh, Oklahoma.
227
00:08:43,324 --> 00:08:44,659
Silently.
228
00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:02,260
Hey. Is your mom home?
229
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:03,428
Church.
230
00:09:03,428 --> 00:09:04,804
Oh. What are you up to?
231
00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:06,639
Nothing.
232
00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:09,809
Put your shoes on.
233
00:09:09,809 --> 00:09:11,394
Why?
234
00:09:11,394 --> 00:09:13,229
Let's you and me
go do something fun.
235
00:09:13,229 --> 00:09:16,232
Something I think is fun
or something you think is fun?
236
00:09:16,232 --> 00:09:19,152
Something we both think is fun.
Come on, get in the truck.
237
00:09:19,152 --> 00:09:21,696
You gonna teach me how to drive?
No.
238
00:09:21,696 --> 00:09:24,282
You sure? It would just
make me feel so much better
239
00:09:24,282 --> 00:09:28,244
about all the stuff
Sheldon gets to do.
You're not driving.
240
00:09:28,244 --> 00:09:31,247
I would seriously love you
so much if I could drive.
Stop it.
241
00:09:31,247 --> 00:09:35,168
At what age do guys
stop acting like idiots?
242
00:09:35,168 --> 00:09:36,836
Oh, no. What'd I do now?
243
00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,755
Not you. Georgie's
244
00:09:38,755 --> 00:09:41,841
dating an older woman
and he's lying about his age.
245
00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:45,303
Oh. That rascal.
246
00:09:45,303 --> 00:09:46,512
You already knew.
247
00:09:46,512 --> 00:09:48,139
You don't know what I know.
248
00:09:48,139 --> 00:09:49,599
I see it in your face.
249
00:09:49,599 --> 00:09:52,602
Fine. Well, he
asked for my advice.
250
00:09:52,602 --> 00:09:55,855
Well, I hope you told him
that he has to come clean.
251
00:09:56,814 --> 00:09:58,441
I did.
252
00:09:58,441 --> 00:10:01,152
Sounds like there's
a "but" on the way.
253
00:10:01,152 --> 00:10:04,113
But then he asked
me what I would've done.
254
00:10:04,113 --> 00:10:05,490
Dale.
Well, uh,
255
00:10:05,490 --> 00:10:07,116
you don't know
all the facts.
256
00:10:07,116 --> 00:10:08,451
What are the facts?
257
00:10:08,451 --> 00:10:10,036
He said
258
00:10:10,036 --> 00:10:12,497
that she was blond and hot.
259
00:10:12,497 --> 00:10:14,791
And that makes it okay to lie?
260
00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:16,459
At my age, no.
261
00:10:16,459 --> 00:10:18,586
At his age?
262
00:10:19,796 --> 00:10:21,923
No.
263
00:10:21,923 --> 00:10:24,217
Does it go straight
like this for a while?
264
00:10:24,217 --> 00:10:25,885
It's Texas.
265
00:10:25,885 --> 00:10:28,471
Goes straight like this
for the rest of our lives.
266
00:10:28,471 --> 00:10:30,306
You thinking of
giving it a try?
267
00:10:30,306 --> 00:10:33,017
Well, there aren't
any cars around.
268
00:10:33,017 --> 00:10:36,479
Uh, seems like a good place
to practice.
269
00:10:36,479 --> 00:10:39,273
Excellent. I could
use a break.
270
00:10:39,273 --> 00:10:40,900
This is exciting.
271
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:42,610
I'm all atingle.
272
00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:44,946
You are not peeing in a bottle.
273
00:10:48,991 --> 00:10:50,368
Here we are.
274
00:10:50,368 --> 00:10:52,620
Red Lobster?
275
00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:54,247
You love this place.
276
00:10:54,247 --> 00:10:55,915
Holy moly.
277
00:10:55,915 --> 00:10:56,999
It's good, huh?
278
00:10:56,999 --> 00:10:58,209
Unbelievable.
279
00:10:58,209 --> 00:11:00,169
Yeah, when I was,
like, eight.
280
00:11:00,169 --> 00:11:03,172
Well, come on, we had our first
daddy-daughter date here.
281
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:05,591
Oh, my God,
don't ever call it that again.
282
00:11:05,591 --> 00:11:07,009
What?
283
00:11:07,009 --> 00:11:09,011
I have friends
who come here on actual dates.
284
00:11:09,011 --> 00:11:11,055
They might see us.
285
00:11:12,348 --> 00:11:14,684
Thought it'd be nice.
286
00:11:16,018 --> 00:11:17,937
Can we please go
anywhere else?
287
00:11:17,937 --> 00:11:20,731
Fine.
288
00:11:22,859 --> 00:11:25,027
You know, they have
those cheddar biscuits. Dad.
289
00:11:25,027 --> 00:11:26,904
Fine.
290
00:11:26,904 --> 00:11:28,447
I'm doing it.
291
00:11:28,447 --> 00:11:30,366
This is going quite well.
292
00:11:30,366 --> 00:11:31,909
Feel free to pick up the pace.
293
00:11:31,909 --> 00:11:34,370
A butterfly just passed us. Well,
294
00:11:34,370 --> 00:11:36,914
what's the speed limit?
75.
295
00:11:36,914 --> 00:11:39,625
And I'm going...
296
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:40,668
ten.
297
00:11:40,668 --> 00:11:43,087
I'll pick up the pace.
298
00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:44,922
Speaking of slow-moving
transportation,
299
00:11:44,922 --> 00:11:47,008
did you know that the slowest
express train in the world
300
00:11:47,008 --> 00:11:49,093
is the Glacier Express
in Switzerland?
301
00:11:49,093 --> 00:11:50,970
I spent a month
in Switzerland at CERN.
302
00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:52,513
Oh, no!
303
00:11:52,513 --> 00:11:54,515
I hit an armadillo.
304
00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:55,892
So? Just keep driving.
305
00:11:55,892 --> 00:11:57,101
No,
306
00:11:57,101 --> 00:11:59,437
I can't. I have to check on it.
307
00:12:00,688 --> 00:12:02,899
Is he hoping it's
alive or dead?
308
00:12:02,899 --> 00:12:04,442
Alive.
309
00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:05,818
Ugh.
310
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,244
Oh, no, what have I done?
311
00:12:15,244 --> 00:12:17,246
It's still moving.
312
00:12:17,246 --> 00:12:18,289
Like we should be. Let's go.
313
00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:20,583
We need a box and a towel.
314
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,627
We don't need a coffin.
The birds will eat it.
315
00:12:22,627 --> 00:12:25,880
It's to keep it safe
until we find help.
316
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,174
John, these animals
carry all kinds of diseases.
317
00:12:28,174 --> 00:12:30,593
That's what the towel's for.
318
00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:32,178
This is Texas.
Armadillo roadkill
319
00:12:32,178 --> 00:12:33,971
is practically the state animal.
320
00:12:35,431 --> 00:12:37,934
So, where you want to go?
321
00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:40,770
I am up for anything.
322
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:43,648
I was thinking the bar,
but I go there so much.
323
00:12:43,648 --> 00:12:45,274
What about a movie?
324
00:12:45,274 --> 00:12:49,570
Or we could just go back
to your place.
325
00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:51,280
Oh.
326
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,032
That-That'd be amazing.
327
00:12:53,032 --> 00:12:55,034
Well, amazing's
a lot of pressure,
328
00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:57,328
but I'll give it a shot.
329
00:12:58,287 --> 00:12:59,664
♪ I don't know who I am... ♪
330
00:12:59,664 --> 00:13:01,624
Listen,
331
00:13:01,624 --> 00:13:03,751
when I said I moved out
of my parents' place,
332
00:13:03,751 --> 00:13:05,670
that was true.
333
00:13:05,670 --> 00:13:08,839
But I'm kind of living
in their garage.
334
00:13:09,757 --> 00:13:12,009
Well, my parents are
in the bedroom next to mine,
335
00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:13,219
so it's your place
or nothing.
336
00:13:13,219 --> 00:13:15,054
My place works.
337
00:13:18,641 --> 00:13:22,061
Don't get bitten. I'm not
wrapping you in a towel, too.
338
00:13:22,061 --> 00:13:23,771
I'm just giving it water.
339
00:13:23,771 --> 00:13:26,399
Okay, there's a firehouse
28 miles away.
340
00:13:26,399 --> 00:13:28,109
I bet they can help.
341
00:13:28,109 --> 00:13:30,653
I was thinking we'd leave it
on their doorstep.
342
00:13:30,653 --> 00:13:33,739
This isn't a joke.
I injured this creature,
343
00:13:33,739 --> 00:13:36,409
so I have to take care of it.
Do you understand?
344
00:13:37,368 --> 00:13:39,287
Yes, sir.
345
00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:44,333
Well, it's not lobster, but...
346
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:47,545
least your friends won't see us.
347
00:13:47,545 --> 00:13:49,714
Sorry.
348
00:13:49,714 --> 00:13:51,799
It's okay.
349
00:13:52,925 --> 00:13:54,844
You're just getting older.
350
00:13:54,844 --> 00:13:56,804
I guess.
351
00:13:56,804 --> 00:13:59,724
Sure I was a jackass
to my parents, too.
352
00:13:59,724 --> 00:14:00,891
Hey!
353
00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:05,271
How's your burger?
354
00:14:05,271 --> 00:14:06,605
So good.
355
00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:09,066
It is pretty good.
356
00:14:09,984 --> 00:14:12,695
Hey, maybe this can be our new
spot for daddy-daughter dates.
357
00:14:12,695 --> 00:14:15,072
Please stop saying that.
What?
358
00:14:15,072 --> 00:14:16,323
Daddy-daughter dates?
359
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,575
Yes.
360
00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:19,618
Mm. Okay.
361
00:14:19,618 --> 00:14:22,580
What would you like me to call
our daddy-daughter dates?
362
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,498
You're so annoying.
363
00:14:33,299 --> 00:14:35,217
This isn't
364
00:14:35,217 --> 00:14:38,054
exactly the firehouse
I was expecting.
365
00:14:38,054 --> 00:14:39,889
Are minors allowed in here?
366
00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:41,390
No one should be
allowed in here.
367
00:14:41,390 --> 00:14:43,225
I'm sure they have
a phone we can use.
368
00:14:43,225 --> 00:14:45,227
Excuse me, barkeep?
369
00:14:45,227 --> 00:14:47,229
Could we get
some help over here?
370
00:14:47,229 --> 00:14:48,814
And don't say "barkeep."
371
00:14:49,857 --> 00:14:53,277
♪ Well, he knocked me down,
but I'm on my feet... ♪
372
00:14:53,277 --> 00:14:55,196
Y'all must be lost.
373
00:14:55,196 --> 00:14:58,741
Oh, we're not lost. You can't
get lost with a AAA TripTik.
374
00:14:58,741 --> 00:15:01,827
I mean, I don't know
where you're trying to be,
375
00:15:01,827 --> 00:15:03,579
but this ain't it.
376
00:15:03,579 --> 00:15:06,248
Message received.
We'll be on our way. Please.
377
00:15:06,248 --> 00:15:09,919
We have an injured armadillo
that needs medical assistance.
378
00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:13,089
You brought that filthy thing
into my bar?
379
00:15:13,089 --> 00:15:14,965
And now we're taking
it out. Let's go.
380
00:15:14,965 --> 00:15:17,134
If we could just use your phone. Look,
381
00:15:17,134 --> 00:15:18,594
you seem like nice folk,
382
00:15:18,594 --> 00:15:20,971
but Yankees ain't popular
around here.
383
00:15:20,971 --> 00:15:23,808
I suggest you be on your way.
384
00:15:23,808 --> 00:15:25,184
Sorry to have troubled you.
385
00:15:25,184 --> 00:15:27,770
Let's go.
Excuse me.
386
00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:29,563
My colleagues
may be from the North,
387
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:32,358
but for your information,
I'm a Texan, born and bred.
388
00:15:32,358 --> 00:15:34,401
I know that real chili
has no beans,
389
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,153
and when my meemaw says,
"Bless your heart,"
390
00:15:36,153 --> 00:15:38,030
she means
something very different.
391
00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:40,282
Now, my friend here
is in need of help,
392
00:15:40,282 --> 00:15:42,368
and since our state motto
is literally "friendship,"
393
00:15:42,368 --> 00:15:44,995
may he please use your phone?
394
00:15:44,995 --> 00:15:46,372
♪ Well, I work... ♪
395
00:15:46,372 --> 00:15:49,041
Well, dang.
396
00:15:49,041 --> 00:15:51,961
♪ Eight when I am able... ♪
397
00:15:51,961 --> 00:15:54,588
And could I trouble you
for a yellow pages?
398
00:15:54,588 --> 00:15:56,507
Oh, boy.
399
00:15:59,927 --> 00:16:01,971
Oh, Georgie.
400
00:16:01,971 --> 00:16:04,098
I'm so disappointed in you.
401
00:16:07,309 --> 00:16:09,061
Is everything okay?
402
00:16:09,979 --> 00:16:13,065
Yeah. Very okay.
403
00:16:13,065 --> 00:16:16,485
Tell her
before things go too far.
404
00:16:16,485 --> 00:16:18,028
Would you leave the kid alone?
405
00:16:18,028 --> 00:16:20,239
He's just having some fun.
He's lying,
406
00:16:20,239 --> 00:16:22,199
and she deserves to know.
407
00:16:22,199 --> 00:16:23,367
Just let it go.
408
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:24,660
No. He's feeling guilty,
409
00:16:24,660 --> 00:16:26,203
and he's gonna
do the right thing.
410
00:16:26,203 --> 00:16:27,746
Connie, the second
411
00:16:27,746 --> 00:16:30,082
that girl's shirt comes
off, it's game over.
412
00:16:30,082 --> 00:16:32,001
No. My grandson has
413
00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:34,086
more integrity
than you're giving him credit...
414
00:16:35,171 --> 00:16:36,714
Amazing.
415
00:16:38,174 --> 00:16:39,842
Boy, I am stuffed.
416
00:16:39,842 --> 00:16:42,595
You know, if you're too full
to drive, I could help.
417
00:16:42,595 --> 00:16:44,889
You're not driving my truck.
418
00:16:44,889 --> 00:16:46,765
Come on.
Just here in the parking lot?
419
00:16:46,765 --> 00:16:47,892
No.
420
00:16:47,892 --> 00:16:49,643
Please, Daddy?
421
00:16:51,562 --> 00:16:53,272
I know what you're doing.
422
00:16:53,272 --> 00:16:56,358
Creating memories
that'll last a lifetime?
423
00:17:00,362 --> 00:17:02,740
Okay. Foot on the brake.
424
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:05,367
Which one's that?
425
00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:08,412
Oh, boy.
The one on the left.
426
00:17:08,412 --> 00:17:10,706
Got it.
All right. Now
427
00:17:10,706 --> 00:17:12,708
pull the shifter toward you
428
00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:15,127
and then down to "D,"
like this. Here.
429
00:17:15,127 --> 00:17:17,004
All right?
430
00:17:17,004 --> 00:17:19,089
Now, the most important step.
431
00:17:20,299 --> 00:17:22,968
Do not ever
tell your mother we did this.
432
00:17:22,968 --> 00:17:24,553
I'm not an idiot. Let's go.
433
00:17:24,553 --> 00:17:26,555
All right. Now
434
00:17:26,555 --> 00:17:28,098
take your foot off the brake
435
00:17:28,098 --> 00:17:29,975
and gently put it on the...
436
00:17:29,975 --> 00:17:31,894
I'm driving!
437
00:17:38,317 --> 00:17:40,069
I know you're
a human hospital,
438
00:17:40,069 --> 00:17:41,946
but the animal hospital
isn't answering their phone.
439
00:17:41,946 --> 00:17:45,783
Well, is there a doctor who
has a soft spot for pets?
440
00:17:45,783 --> 00:17:49,411
Maybe a nurse with pictures
of cats on her desk?
441
00:17:49,411 --> 00:17:51,622
You can hang up the phone, John.
442
00:17:51,622 --> 00:17:53,249
Why?
443
00:17:53,249 --> 00:17:55,292
I think you know why.
444
00:17:55,292 --> 00:17:58,837
♪ But only would I... ♪
445
00:17:58,837 --> 00:18:01,507
Thank you for your time.
446
00:18:06,011 --> 00:18:08,013
Well, that's a shame.
447
00:18:08,013 --> 00:18:09,598
I'm sorry.
448
00:18:09,598 --> 00:18:12,768
It's just an armadillo, right?
449
00:18:12,768 --> 00:18:15,020
It didn't seem that way
to you in the van.
450
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,773
I know it's silly, but...
451
00:18:17,773 --> 00:18:21,652
when I saw it lying there
all bald and helpless,
452
00:18:21,652 --> 00:18:23,696
I thought,
453
00:18:23,696 --> 00:18:25,990
"That's gonna be me one day."
454
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:31,036
That is the most damn depressing
thing I have ever heard.
455
00:18:32,037 --> 00:18:34,999
The end of life
does tend to be depressing.
456
00:18:34,999 --> 00:18:37,876
In New Orleans, they embrace
the tradition of a jazz funeral
457
00:18:37,876 --> 00:18:40,421
where the deceased
are celebrated through music.
458
00:18:40,421 --> 00:18:42,339
That's true.
459
00:18:42,339 --> 00:18:44,508
Barkeep, do you happen to have
460
00:18:44,508 --> 00:18:46,593
any Dixieland jazz
on the jukebox
461
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,638
to celebrate the life
of an armadillo?
462
00:18:49,638 --> 00:18:51,807
Y'all need to leave now.
463
00:18:51,807 --> 00:18:53,684
Turn away from sin...
After a quick burial
464
00:18:53,684 --> 00:18:55,269
behind the bar,
465
00:18:55,269 --> 00:18:57,104
we were back on the road.
466
00:18:57,104 --> 00:18:59,606
Dr. Sturgis tried to find
some appropriate music
467
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,483
for a proper send-off.
468
00:19:01,483 --> 00:19:04,945
Three Christian talk shows
and a whole lot of static later,
469
00:19:04,945 --> 00:19:07,156
he settled on what he declared
470
00:19:07,156 --> 00:19:10,117
the Dixieland jazz
of West Texas.
471
00:19:12,161 --> 00:19:13,912
Mariachi.
472
00:19:19,501 --> 00:19:22,087
Vaya con dios, armadillo.
473
00:19:22,087 --> 00:19:24,423
Vaya con dios.
32679
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