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1
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,120
- Mrs. Teasdale...
- Yes, your Excellency?
2
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,200
I again ask you to reconsider.
3
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:39,120
Gentlemen, I've already loaned
Freedonia more than half
the fortune my husband left me.
4
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:44,400
I consider that money lost. And now
you're asking for another $20 million.
5
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,240
But it would only be for a few months
to meet this present emergency.
6
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,840
With $20 million
in the treasury,
7
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,680
we can announce an immediate
reduction in the taxes.
8
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,320
That's all of the people
are asking for.
9
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,640
I'm sorry, but I'm inclined
to agree with the people.
10
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,600
- The government has been mismanaged.
- What?
11
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,600
I will lend the money but only on
condition that his Excellency withdraw
12
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,360
and place the government
in new hands.
13
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,200
- You ask me to give up my office?
- Yes, your Excellency.
14
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,120
In a crisis like this,
I feel Freedonia needs a new leader,
15
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,080
a progressive,
fearless fighter!
16
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:15,360
- A man like Rufus T. Firefly!
- Rufus T. Firefly?
17
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:20,600
I will lend the money to Freedonia
only if Firefly is appointed leader.
18
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,920
The honorable Secretary
of Finance and Party.
19
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,280
His Excellency, Ambassador
Trentino of Sylvania.
20
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,240
- Ambassador.
- Mrs. Teasdale.
21
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,040
It was so good
of you to come.
22
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,280
I'm anxious for you
to meet the new leader of our country.
23
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,880
No matter who rules in Freedonia,
Mrs. Teasdale, to me
24
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,600
you will always be
the first lady of the land.
25
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,680
Oh, permit me.
This is Miss Vera Marcal.
26
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:23,800
- Ambassador Trentino.
- Miss Marcal needs no introduction,
27
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,120
I've seen her dance
many times at the theater.
28
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:27,600
Thank you.
29
00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,000
The honorable
Pandooh of Mifhtan.
30
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,440
I must greet
his honor.
31
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,560
- What have you found out?
- Nothing, I've been waiting
to hear from you.
32
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,400
I've given up the idea
of a revolution. I have a better plan.
33
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,760
I can gain control of Freedonia
much easier by marrying Mrs. Teasdale.
34
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,920
Maybe that's not going
to be so easy.
35
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:56,440
Oh, from what I hear, you see,
Mrs. Teasdale is rather sweet
on this Rufus T. Firefly.
36
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,600
Oh well, that's where you come in.
I'm going to place him in your hands.
37
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,960
And I don't have to tell you
what to do or how to... careful.
38
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,960
I want you to meet his
Excellency's Secretary.
39
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,720
- Bob Roland. Ambassador Trentino.
- How do you do, sir?
40
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,120
- Miss Marcal.
- We've met.
41
00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,760
I hope his Excellency
gets here soon.
42
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,760
His Excellency makes it a point
always to be on time.
43
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,160
As long as I've known him,
he's never been late for an appointment.
44
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,600
His Excellency is due
to take his station
45
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,880
Beginning his new
administration
46
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,680
He'll make his appearance
when
47
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:34,400
The clock on the wall
strikes ten
48
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,760
When the clock on the wall
strikes ten
49
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,680
All you loyal ladies
and you patriotic men
50
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:45,880
Let's sing the
national anthem when
51
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:49,440
The clock on the wall
strikes ten
52
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,760
His Excellency is due
to take his station
53
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,920
Beginning his new
administration
54
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,560
He'll make his appearance
when
55
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,960
The clock on the wall
strikes ten
56
00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,520
We'll give him
a rousing cheer
57
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,160
To show him
we're glad he's here
58
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:27,040
Hail, hail Freedonia
59
00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:33,920
Hail, hail Freedonia
60
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,360
Land of the brave
61
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:42,720
and free
62
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,960
Hail, hail Freedonia
63
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:04,120
Land of the brave
and free
64
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,720
Hail, hail Freedonia
65
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:16,280
Land of the brave
and free
66
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,360
- You expecting somebody?
- Yes.
67
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,040
Hail, hail Freedonia
68
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:36,480
Land of the brave
and free
69
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,600
Oh, your Excellency,
we've been expecting you.
70
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,600
As chairwoman
of the reception committe,
71
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:46,080
I extend the good wishes of
every man, woman and child of Freedonia.
72
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,800
Never mind that stuff.
Take a card.
73
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,040
- Card? What'll I do with a card?
- You can keep it. I've got 51 left.
74
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,080
- Now what were you saying?
- As chairwoman of the reception committe,
75
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:58,480
- I welcome you with open arms.
- Is that so? How late do you stay open?
76
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,360
I've sponsored your
appointment because I feel you are
77
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,200
- the most able statesman in all Freedonia.
- Well, that covers a lot of ground.
78
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,880
Say, you cover a lot
of ground yourself. You'd better beat it.
79
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,440
I hear they're gonna tear you down
and put up an office building
where you're standing.
80
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,960
You can leave in a taxi.
If you can't get a taxi,
you can leave in a huff.
81
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,200
If that's too soon, you can
leave in a minute and a huff.
82
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,920
You know, you haven't
stopped talking since I came.
83
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,360
You must have been vaccinated
with a phonograph needle.
84
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,280
The future of Freedonia
rests on you.
85
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:26,360
Promise me you'll follow
in the footsteps of my husband.
86
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,440
How do you like that?
I haven't been on the job five minutes
87
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,480
and already she's making
advances to me.
88
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,960
- Not that I care but, where is your husband?
- Why... he's dead.
89
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,040
I'll bet he's just using that
as an excuse.
90
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,760
- I was with him 'til the very end.
- Mmmh, no wonder he passed away.
91
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,320
I held him in my arms
and kissed him.
92
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,920
Oh, I see.
Then it was murder!
93
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,120
Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money?
Answer the second question first.
94
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,240
- He left me his entire fortune.
- Is that so?
95
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,120
Can't you see what I'm
trying to tell you? I love you!
96
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,920
- Oh, your Excellency!
- You're not so bad yourself.
97
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,960
Oh, I want to present you
Ambassador Trentino of Sylvania.
98
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,520
Having him with us today is
indeed a great pleasure.
99
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:08,000
- Thank you, but I can't stay very long.
- That's even a greater pleasure.
100
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,200
Now how about lending this
country $20 million, you old skinflint?
101
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,920
$20 million is a lot of money.
I'd have to take that up with
my Minister of Finance.
102
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,680
Well, in the meantime,
could you let me have $12 until payday?
103
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,840
- $12?
- Don't be scared. You'll get it back.
104
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,560
I'll give you my personal note
for 90 days.
105
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,280
If it isn't paid by then,
you can keep the note.
106
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,680
Your Excellency, haven't we seen
each other somewhere before?
107
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,440
I don't think so. I'm not sure
I'm seeing you now.
Must be something I ate.
108
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,680
- Look here Sir! Are you trying to...
- Don't look now...
109
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,440
but there's one man too many
in this room, and I think it's you.
110
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,000
Oh, I'm so sorry.
111
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,000
- I want you to meet a very charming lady.
- And it's about time.
112
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,880
Just a moment!
113
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,560
I want to present
Miss Vera Marcal.
114
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,040
- Go ahead. I can take it.
- Oh, you don't understand.
115
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,440
- This is Vera Marcal, the famous dancer.
- Is that so?
116
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,280
Can you do this one?
117
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,800
I danced before
Napoleon.
118
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,120
No, napoleon danced before me.
In fact, he danced 200 years before me.
119
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,040
Here's one I picked up
in a dance hall.
120
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,680
Here's another one I
picked up in a dance hall.
121
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,960
Perhaps sometime we get
a chance to dance together, huh?
122
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,040
I could dance with you
'til the cows come home.
123
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,160
On second thought, I'd rather dance with
the cows 'til you come home.
124
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,000
- Where is my secretary?
- Here I am.
125
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,600
Good heavens, your Excellency!
126
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,160
- Take a letter.
- Who to?
127
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,760
To my dentist.
128
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:33,960
"Dear dentist, enclosed
find check for $500. Yours very truly.
" Send it off immediately!
129
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:37,120
- I'll have to enclose the check first.
- You do and I'll fire you.
130
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,360
Your Excellency,
the eyes of the world are upon you.
131
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,320
Notables from every country
are gathered here in your honor.
132
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,640
This is a gala day for you.
133
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,480
Well, a gal a day is enough for me.
I don't think I could handle any more.
134
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,400
If it's not asking too much...
135
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:56,440
For our information,
just for illustration
136
00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:01,840
Tell us how you intend
to run the nation
137
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:06,240
These are the laws
of my administration
138
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,360
No one's allowed to smoke
or tell a dirty joke
139
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,760
And whistling
is forbidden
140
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,480
We're not allowed
to tell a dirty joke
141
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,280
Hail, hail Freedonia
142
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,040
If chewing gum is chewed
the chewer is pursued
143
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,200
And in the hoosegow hidden
144
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,160
If we choose to chew
we'll be pursued
145
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,680
If any form of pleasure
is exhibited
146
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,120
Report to me and
it will be prohibited
147
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,440
I'll put my foot down
so shall it be
148
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,800
This is the land
of the free
149
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,720
The last man nearly ruined this place,
he didn't know what to do with it
150
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:42,760
If you think this country's bad off now
just wait 'til I get through with it
151
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,000
The country's taxes must be fixed
and I know what to do with it
152
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,880
If you think you're paying too much now
just wait 'til I get through with it
153
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,320
I will not stand for anything
that's crooked or unfair
154
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,120
I'm strictly on the up and up
so everyone beware
155
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,440
If anyone's caught taking graft
and I don't get my share
156
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,400
We stand 'em up against the wall
and pop goes the weasel
157
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,360
So everyone beware
who's crooked or unfair
158
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,520
No one must take a bit of graft
unless he gets his share
159
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,360
If any man should come between
a husband and his bride
160
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,360
We find out which one she prefers
by letting her decide
161
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,320
If she prefers the other man
the husband steps outside
162
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:33,200
We stand 'em up against the wall
and pop goes the weasel
163
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,880
The husband steps outside
relinquishes his bride
164
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,160
They stand him up against the wall
and take away his bride
165
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,480
You have an appointment
at the House of Representatives.
166
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,280
Good heavens!
You can't go with your trousers up!
167
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,800
I can't, eh? Well, they'll never
catch me any other way.
168
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,320
- My car!
- His Excellency's car!
169
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,560
His Excellency's car!
170
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,040
His Excellency's car!
171
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,160
I'm in a hurry. To the House
of Representatives. Ride like fury.
172
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,720
If you run out of gas, get ethyl.
If Ethel runs out, get Mabel.
173
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:24,280
Now step on it!
174
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,880
Well, it certainly feels good
to be back again.
175
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,800
- I have failed, ambassador.
- I know it, I know it, you idiot!
176
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,280
- I'm sorry.
- You have muddled everything.
177
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,960
If you'd started the revolution
as I planned, you in the turmoil,
178
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,320
I could've stepped in and placed Freedonia
under the Sylvanian flag, our flag.
179
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,760
But Firefly blocked us!
180
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,000
Your Excellency, you have no idea
how popular he is in Freedonia.
181
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,600
I've known of that too!
182
00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,200
That's why I have two spies
shadowing him.
183
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,240
I want to find out something about him,
something to disgrace him,
184
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,200
to discredit him
with the people.
185
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,280
Ambassador, Chicolini
and Pinky are here.
186
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,200
Now, these are my spies.
Show them in. Wait outside.
187
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,880
We fool you good, eh?
188
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,040
Gentlemen!
189
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,800
Gentlemen,
what is this?
190
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,760
Shh! This is spy stuff.
191
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,600
- Telegram for you, sir.
- Oh.
192
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,600
- He gets mad because he can't read.
- Oh, I see.
193
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,840
Well, gentlemen, we have
serious matters to discuss.
194
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,000
- Please be seated.
- Rock-a-bye
195
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,040
Gentlemen, gentlemen!
Now about that information...
196
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:11,560
Wait, wait, wait, wait here, have a cigar.
That's a good quarter cigar.
197
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,880
- I smoked the other three
quarters myself. - Yes. No, thank you,
I have one of my own.
198
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,400
Here, try one of these!
199
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,960
Hey, that's a no good.
200
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,640
That's a good!
That's-a fine.
201
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,400
That's a good.
202
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,480
Now let's concentrate.
203
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,960
Have you been trailing Firefly?
204
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,240
Have we been trailing Firefly.
205
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,600
Why, my partner, he's got
a nose just like a bloodhound.
206
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,520
Really?
207
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,920
Yeah, and the rest of his face
don't look so good either.
208
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,840
Well, we find out all
about this Firefly.
209
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,160
- Here, look at this.
- Ah, very good, very good!
210
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,320
Wait a minute.
We must not be disturbed.
211
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,680
- Yes, sir?
- This is a very important conference.
212
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,240
- I do not wish to be interrupted.
- Yes, sir.
213
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,120
Uh-uh, uh-uh!
214
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:09,480
Gentlemen, we are not
getting anywhere.
215
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,080
You're out!
216
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,480
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
Now gentlemen, please!
217
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,880
Will you tell me what you
found out about Firefly?
218
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,840
Well, you remember you gave us
a picture of this man and said "follow him"?
219
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:26,760
Oh yes.
220
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,680
Well, we get on the job right away.
221
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,680
- And in a one hour, even a less
than a one hour, - Yes?
222
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,280
We lose a the pictch.
That's-a pretty quick work, eh?
223
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,600
But I asked you to dig up
something I can use against Firefly.
224
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,200
Did you bring me his record?
225
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,440
No, no!
226
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,360
And the boy gets-a cigar.
227
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,640
Now Chicolini, I want a full detailed
report of your investigation.
228
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,720
All right, I tell you. Monday, we watch-a
Firefly's house, but he no come out.
229
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:58,880
He wasn't home.
230
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,200
Tuesday, we go to the ball game,
but he fool us. He no show up.
231
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,520
Wednesday, he go to the ball game,
but we fool him! We no show up.
232
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,960
Thursday was a double-header,
nobody show up.
233
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,200
Friday, it rained all day.
There was a no ball game.
234
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,160
So we stayed home
and we listened to it on-a the radio.
235
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,560
Then you didn't
shadow Firefly!
236
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,000
Oh, sure we shadow Firefly.
We shadow him all day.
237
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,480
- But what day was that?
- "Shaderday"!
238
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,360
That's-a some joke,
huh, boss?
239
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:27,080
- Will you tell me, what happened on Saturday?
- I'm glad you asked me.
240
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,240
We follow this man
down to a road house.
241
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,560
- And at this road house he meet
a married lady. - A married lady?
242
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,360
- Yeah, I think it was his wife.
- Firefly has no wife!
243
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,880
- No?
- No!
244
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,080
- Then you know what I think?
- What?
245
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,800
I think we followed
the wrong man.
246
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,640
Oh, gentlemen,
I am disappointed.
247
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,880
I entrusted you with a mission
of great importance and you failed.
248
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,960
However, I am going to
give you one more chance.
249
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:56,200
I have credentials here that will get you
into any place in Freedonia.
250
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,800
If I can only...
Ah, here we are.
251
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:03,240
Are you sure that
you can trap Firefly?
252
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,960
Remember, this time I expect results.
253
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,520
- Good-bye and good luck.
- Okay, cap.
254
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,080
- Come on, Pinky.
- Good-bye.
255
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,760
All right, the meeting's
called to order.
256
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,800
Your Excellency,
here's the Treasury Department's report.
257
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,520
I hope you'll
find it clear.
258
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:49,600
Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
259
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,720
Run out and find me
a four-year-old child.
I can't make head or tail out of it.
260
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,640
And now, members of the cabinet,
we'll take up old business.
261
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,880
- I wish to discuss the tariff.
- Sit down, that's new business.
262
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,840
No old business? Very well,
then we'll take up new business.
263
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:06,960
- Now about that tariff.
- Too late! That's old business already.
Sit down.
264
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,760
- Gentlemen, as your Secretary of War, I...
- The Secretary of War is out of order!
265
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,560
Which reminds me,
so is the plumbing. Make a note of that.
266
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,560
Never mind,
I'll do it myself.
267
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,720
The Department of Labor
wishes to report
268
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,040
that the workers of Freedonia
are demanding shorter hours.
269
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,560
Very well, we'll give them
shorter hours.
270
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,880
We'll start by cutting their
lunch hour to 20 minutes.
271
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:29,200
And now, gentlemen, we've
got to start looking for a new Treasurer.
272
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,120
- But you appointed one last week!
- That's the one I'm looking for.
273
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:36,080
Gentlemen, gentlemen, enough of this.
How about taking up the tax?
274
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:39,440
- How about taking up the carpet?
- I still insist we must take up the tax!
275
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,240
It's right, you've got to take up
the "tacks" before you can take up the carpet.
276
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,880
I give all my time and energy to my duties
and what do I get?
277
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,440
- You get awfully tiresome after a while.
- Sir, you try my patience.
278
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,920
I don't mind if I do. You must come over
and try mine sometime.
279
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:56,360
That's the last straw! I resign!
I wash my hands of the whole business.
280
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,760
That's a good idea.
You can wash your neck, too.
281
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,360
Peanuts!
282
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,000
Hey, come here!
283
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,880
Just the guy
I wanna see.
284
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,640
What do you find out
about this guy Firefly?
285
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,840
You find out-a something?
You no find out-a something?
286
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,680
You spy on him?
You no spy on him?
287
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,640
What's-a matter? All the time
I talk to you, you no say-a nothing.
288
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,280
What's-a matter
you no speak, eh?
289
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:37,440
Stop-a this! What-a you find, eh?
What-a you find?
290
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,560
That's-a no good!
291
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,440
Hey, come here. You're a crazy.
What's the matter with you?
292
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,760
Why you make a face like-a this?
What's the matter with you?
293
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,600
Ah, come on, you wanna fight, huh?
You wanna fight?
294
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,320
Come on,
I give you fight.
295
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,720
Hey, upstairs this time,
no downstairs!
296
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,280
Come on.
297
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,360
What you think you are, eh?
298
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,120
Hey, what's the idea
of fighting in front of my place
299
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,320
- and driving my customers away?
- Hey mister, you got a mistake-a someplace.
300
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:14,120
I no fight. You understand,
this guy he's-a working for me.
301
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,800
I ask-a something,
and he no tell-a me nothing.
302
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,600
I ask-a why he no speak,
all the time he no speak.
303
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:20,840
What do you think he do?
He make-a fight-a go like this.
304
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,040
Hey, what's the idea?
305
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,320
That's-a not my idea,
that's-a his idea.
306
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,360
All time I say something,
he no say nothing.
307
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,000
- Every time I say...
- Will you shut up!
308
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,240
Hey listen, what are you
doing around here?
309
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,320
Who are you?
310
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:39,120
Hey, can't you say...
can't you say anything?
311
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,320
- No! He no say nothing, he...
- Aw, shut up!
312
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,120
I am-a shut up,
but mister you no understand.
313
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,200
Look, he's a spy and I'm a spy.
He work-a for me.
314
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,600
I want him to find out something
but he no find out what I wanna find out.
315
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,280
How am I gonna find out
what I wanna find out...
316
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:53,040
- If he no find out what I gotta find out?
- Will you quit annoying me?
317
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,040
All right, I quit. All you gotta do
is make him stop doing this.
318
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,560
Now just for that I'm gonna
tear you limb from limb, limb from limb!
319
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,720
You'd think...
320
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,000
You see, I no say one thing, mister,
before when you... No, no.
321
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,160
Haven't I...
322
00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:13,760
Oh! Now,
now I'm gonna get you!
323
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,680
What are
you doing?
324
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,680
Why, you...
325
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,480
- I'll teach you to kick me!
- You don't have to teach me. I know how.
326
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,000
Stop it now.
Look out!
327
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,600
- Ohhh!
- That's-a good, eh?
328
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,360
Peanuts!
329
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,200
Hey!
330
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,400
You wanna be a public nuisance?
331
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,320
Sure, how much
does the job pay?
332
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,080
I've got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
333
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,680
Peanuts... to you!
334
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,600
- Have you got a license?
- License?
335
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,120
No, but-a my dog,
he's gotta millions of 'em.
336
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,560
Believe me,
he's some smart dog.
337
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,680
You know he went
with Admiral Byrd to the Pole.
338
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,680
I'll bet the dog
got to the pole first.
339
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,360
Come on up here.
I wanna scare the cabinet.
340
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,280
Hello? Hello?
No, no, he's not in.
341
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,360
All right, I tell him.
Good-bye.
342
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,880
That was for you.
343
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,360
I'm sorry I'm not in.
I want to have a long talk with you.
344
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,760
Now listen here.
You give up that silly peanut stand
345
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,680
and I'll get you
a soft government job.
346
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,760
Now let's see, how would you like
a job in the Mint?
347
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,800
Mint?
No, no. I no like-a mint.
348
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,200
What other flavor you got?
349
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,600
Hello? Hello?
No, not yet.
350
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,240
All right, I tell him.
Good-bye. Thank you.
351
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,720
- That was for you again.
- I wonder whatever became of me.
352
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,000
I should have been back here
a long time ago.
353
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,960
Now listen here,
I've got a swell job for you,
354
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,800
but first I have to ask you
a couple of important questions.
355
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,000
Now, what is it that has
four pair of pants,
356
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,640
lives in Philadelphia,
357
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:26,200
and it never rains
but it pours?
358
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,000
That's a good one.
I give you three guesses.
359
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,240
Now let me see, has four pair of pants,
lives in Philadelphia...
360
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,800
- Is it male or female?
- No, I don't think so.
361
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,600
- Is he dead?
- Who?
362
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,040
- I don't know. I give up!
- I give up too.
363
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,960
Now I ask you another one.
364
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,400
What is it got
big black-a moustache,
365
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,520
smokes a big black cigar,
366
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,800
and he's a big pain
in the neck?
367
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,640
Don't tell me.
Has a big black moustache,
368
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,240
smokes a big black cigar,
369
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,320
and is a big pain in the...
370
00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:01,240
- Does he wear glasses?
- That's right. You guess it quick.
371
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,840
- Just for that, you don't get the
job I was gonna give you. - What job?
372
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:07,360
- Secretary of War! - All
right, I take it. - Sold!
373
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,240
You know, I'd be lost
without a telephone.
374
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:28,920
Hey, don't go away,
I wanna talk to you.
375
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,440
Now, where were we? Oh, yes!
Now that you're Secretary of War,
376
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,960
what kind of an army
do you think we oughta have?
377
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,400
Well, I tell you what I think.
I think we should have a standing army.
378
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,360
Why should we have
a standing army?
379
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,440
Because then we save
money on chairs!
380
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,240
Peanuts!
381
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:48,320
Scat!
382
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,600
Say, who are you anyway?
383
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,560
I don't go in much
for modern art.
384
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,000
Have you got anything
by one of the old masters?
385
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,320
Not bad.
386
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,560
You don't happen to have
her telephone number?
387
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:19,680
Say, you could be
a big help to me.
388
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:20,840
Where do you live?
389
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,800
Well, it's not much of a place,
but it's home.
390
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,600
Meow!
391
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,600
Well, I know one thing,
392
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,840
I bet you haven't got
a picture of my grandfather.
393
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,000
Uh-uh! Not now!
394
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:44,600
Some other time.
395
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,160
- Your Excellency?
- Quiet!
396
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,240
This letter's the work
of Trentino.
397
00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:03,200
The man is trying to undermine you.
Now, what are you gonna do about it?
398
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,560
I've got a good mind to
ring his doorbell and run.
399
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,680
We've got to get rid
of that man at once. I've got a plan.
400
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,640
You say something to make
him mad and he'll strike you!
401
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,720
And we force him
to leave the country.
402
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,520
That's a swell plan. Why couldn't you
arrange for me to strike him?
403
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,200
Ambassador Trentino is a very sensitive man.
Perhaps if you insult him...
404
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,800
He's very easy to insult.
405
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,200
Why, I said something to Vera Marcal
in his presence and he slapped my face.
406
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,360
- Why didn't Vera slap your face?
- She did.
407
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,600
What'd you say to her?
408
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,280
You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
409
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,600
- Where'd you hear that story?
- You told it to me.
410
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,240
Oh yes!
I remember.
411
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,280
I should've slapped Mrs. Teasdale's
face when she told it to me.
412
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:42,720
- Where is Trentino?
- At Mrs. Teasdale's tea party.
413
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,000
- Was I invited?
- No.
414
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,400
Take a letter!
415
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,880
"You are cordially invited
to attend my tea party. "
416
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,240
Sign Mrs. Teasdale's name
and tell her I accept.
417
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,560
Come on, let's go.
418
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,600
I've got an appointment
to insult Ambassador Trentino,
419
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:07,400
and I don't want to
keep him waiting! Step on it!
420
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,800
This is the fifth trip I've made today
and I haven't been anywhere yet.
421
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,400
You don't seem to be making
much progress with Mrs. Teasdale, huh?
422
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:35,680
How can I? Every time I get her in
the right mood to say "yes," Firefly pops in.
423
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,720
Well, this is your opportunity.
He won't be here today.
424
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,160
- Are you sure?
- Positive!
425
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,120
I helped Mrs. Teasdale
with the invitations.
426
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,880
His Excellency,
Rufus T. Firefly!
427
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,920
Hail, hail Freedonia
428
00:28:54,960 --> 00:29:02,920
Land of the brave
and free
429
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:08,160
Gloria, I waited for years.
I can't be put off any longer.
430
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,240
I love you, I want you!
Can't you see I'm at your feet?
431
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,480
When you get through with her feet,
you can start on mine.
432
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:15,680
If that isn't an insult,
I don't know what is.
433
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,920
Gloria, I love you.
I realize how lonely you are.
434
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,960
Can't we go someplace
where we can be by ourselves?
435
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,320
What can this mug offer you?
Wealth and family?
436
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:27,240
I can't give you wealth, but...
we can have a little family of our own.
437
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:28,920
Oh, Rufus!
438
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,520
All I can offer you is
a "roof-us" over your head.
439
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:34,760
Your Excellency, I really
don't know what to say.
440
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,400
I wouldn't know what to say either
if I was in your place.
441
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:38,840
Maybe you can
suggest something.
442
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,440
As a matter of fact, you do suggest something.
To me you suggest a baboon.
443
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:43,400
What?
444
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:47,280
I'm sorry I said that.
It isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.
445
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,080
This man's conduct
is inexcusable!
446
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,000
- Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
- I did not come here to be insulted!
447
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,640
- That's what you think.
- You swine!
448
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,440
- Come again?
- You worm!
449
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,960
- Once more.
- You upstart!
450
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,400
That's it!
451
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:01,960
- Touche! - Mrs. Teasdale,
I'm afraid this regrettable
452
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,880
occurrence may plunge
our countries into war.
453
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:05,080
Oh, this is terrible!
454
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,480
I've said enough.
I'm a man of few words.
455
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,600
I'm a man of one word:
scram!
456
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,200
A man doesn't live who can
call a Firefly an upstart.
457
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,760
Why, the Mayflower was full of Fireflys...
and a few horseflies too.
458
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,280
The Fireflys were
on the upper deck
459
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,160
and the horseflies
were on the Fireflys.
460
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:24,880
- Good day, my sweet.
- Oh, your Excellency, I must speak to you!
461
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,480
I'll see you at the theater tonight.
I'll hold your seat 'til you get there.
462
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,320
- After you get there, you're on your own.
- His Excellency's car!
463
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,760
His Excellency's car!
464
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,760
No, no, you don't.
I'm not taking any more chances.
465
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,800
You can only fool a Firefly twice.
This time you ride in the sidecar.
466
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,120
This is the only way to travel.
467
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,400
Hey, Pinky,
come here.
468
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:06,560
Watch-a the stand.
Come on, Pastrami, come on.
469
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,480
Oh!
470
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,560
Hey!
Hey what's...
471
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:25,440
What's the matter?
472
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:34,280
Mrs. Teasdale, I deeply regret
the unfortunate affair with his Excellency,
473
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,320
but his attitude left me
no alternative.
474
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,840
- Maybe we can still avoid this terrible war.
- Oh, if we only could.
475
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,760
- Oh yes, I do...
- Ah!
476
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,720
Mrs. Teasdale, I have been
recalled by my president.
477
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,480
- Then it's too late?
- Not if his Excellency will listen to reason.
478
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,600
I am prepared to pocket my pride
and forget about the whole matter... if he is.
479
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:56,560
Ambassador, that's wonderful of you,
but I'm afraid his Excellency won't hear of it.
480
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,080
Oh, perhaps he will listen to you!
481
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,360
- Do you think so?
- Yes, of course!
482
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:02,600
I'll call him.
483
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:15,600
I hate to disturb you,
I know you're a very busy man,
484
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,160
but I must see you at once.
485
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,600
Where are you?
Oh.
486
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,640
Why not come over here?
Come in the back way. No one will see you.
487
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,160
Well, if you think of it,
bring some cheese.
488
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,120
But your Excellency,
you must come over.
489
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:32,120
It's a long story.
I can't tell it to you over the phone.
490
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,760
Oh, it's that kind
of a story!
491
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,560
You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
I'll be right over.
492
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,400
He'll be right over.
Perhaps you'd better wait outside
until I've had a chance to talk to him.
493
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,520
Very well, we'll be out here
if you want us.
494
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,320
- Oh!
- How'd you get in here?
495
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,200
Oh your Excellency, I'm so sorry
to have to disturb you!
496
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:03,000
- Will you ever forgive me?
- After I leave here tonight,
will you forgive me?
497
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,440
Here are the plans of war.
498
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,200
They're as valuable as your life
and that's putting them pretty cheap.
499
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:11,240
Watch them like a cat watches her kittens.
Have you ever had kittens?
500
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,120
No, of course not.
You're too busy running around playing bridge.
501
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,320
Can't you see what I'm trying
to tell you? I love you.
502
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,840
- Why don't you marry me?
- Why, marry you?
503
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,520
You take me
and I'll take a vacation.
504
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,280
I'll need a vacation
if we're going to get married.
505
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:26,680
Married! I can see you right now
in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove,
506
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,440
but I can't see the stove.
507
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,040
Come, come! Say the word
and you'll never see me again!
508
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:33,920
Gloria.
509
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,640
Rufus, what are
you thinking of?
510
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,280
Oh, I was just thinking of all the years
I've wasted collecting stamps.
511
00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,000
Oh!
512
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:52,160
Oh, I suppose you'll think me
a sentimental old fluff, but...
513
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:56,280
would you mind giving me a lock of your hair?
- A lock of my hair?
514
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:58,880
Oh, I had no idea...
515
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,800
I'm letting you off easy.
I was gonna ask for the whole wig.
516
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,200
So you've come to ask
for clemency?
517
00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:14,840
Your Excellency, the Ambassador's here
on a friendly visit. He's had a change of heart.
518
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,400
A lot of good that'll do him.
He's still got the same face.
519
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,440
I'm sorry we lost our tempers.
I'm willing to forget if you are.
520
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,520
Forget?
You ask me to forget?
521
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,680
A Firefly never forgets.
522
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:29,360
Why, my ancestors would rise from their
graves and I'd only have to bury them again.
523
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,720
Nothing doing! I'm going back and clean
the crackers out of my bed.
I'm expecting company.
524
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,120
- Please wait.
- Let go of me, you bully!
525
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,400
I'm willing to do anything
to prevent this war.
526
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:43,600
It's too late. I've already paid
a month's rent on the battlefield.
527
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:47,120
Oh, your Excellency,
isn't there something I can do?
528
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,240
Yes, but I'll talk to you
about that later.
529
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:53,440
Won't you reconsider?
Please relent for my sake.
530
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,320
Well, maybe I am
a little headstrong,
531
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,320
but I come by it honestly.
My father was a little headstrong.
532
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,520
My mother was
a little armstrong.
533
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,280
The headstrongs married the armstrongs
and that's why darkies were born.
534
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,000
It was silly of me
to lose my temper...
535
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:10,800
On account of that
little thing you called me.
536
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,320
Little thing I called you?
What did I call you?
537
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,440
Gosh, I don't even
remember what it was.
538
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:21,760
- Well, do you mean "worm"?
- No, that wasn't it.
539
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,880
- I know, "swine. "
- Uh-uh.
540
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,440
No, it was a
seven letter word.
541
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:31,240
- Oh yes, "upstart"!
- That's it. Upstart!
542
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,960
Mrs. Teasdale,
this man is impossible.
543
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,920
This is an outrage.
My course is clear. This means war!
544
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,480
- You runt!
- I still like upstart the best.
545
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,680
- I shan't stay here a minute longer.
- Go and never darken my towels again!
546
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:46,640
- My hat!
- My towel!
547
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,800
I happen to know...
548
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:52,520
that Freedonia's plans of war
are in Mrs. Teasdale's possession.
549
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,880
- I must get hold of them.
- Yes, but how?
550
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,880
We have a weekend guest
in Mrs. Teasdale's house.
551
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,840
Miss Marcal.
552
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:04,200
Now gentlemen, do you mind waiting for me
outside? I'll join you in a moment.
553
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,720
Excuse me.
554
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,720
Hello?
555
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,720
Yes, I am alone.
No, not yet.
556
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,400
Vera, we've got to work fast.
You must get hold of those plans tonight.
557
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,640
Chicolini and his partner should
be there any minute.
Do everything you can to help them.
558
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:33,760
But I must be very careful.
There is another guest
in here for the weekend.
559
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:38,360
Firefly.
I don't know, I think he is asleep.
560
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,160
Ring the bell.
561
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,120
Push the button.
562
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,760
- You gotta the plans?
- No, but they're somewhere in the house,
563
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:53,400
and you must find them. Oh, for Heaven's sake,
whatever you do, don't make a sound.
564
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,800
- If you're found, you're lost.
- You craz', how can I be lost if I'm found?
565
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:01,760
Got a flashlight?
566
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,040
Shh! Shh!
567
00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:08,120
You don't know how
serious this is.
568
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,440
If they catch you, you'll
be court-martialed and shot.
569
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,440
Oh, Vera!
570
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,080
I must go before
she looks for me.
571
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:21,440
Now remember, whatever you do,
don't make a sound.
572
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,440
You stay here, but keep quiet.
573
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:15,440
Remember what she said, if we get caught,
we're gonna get, uh, court-plastered.
574
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,640
Your Excellency,
I'm worried. I can't sleep.
575
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:30,600
What? You're worried?
You can't sleep?
576
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,000
That's fine, now you woke me up.
Now I can't sleep.
577
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:37,520
It's about those plans.
I won't rest until they're back
in your hands.
578
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,520
Won't you please come over
and get them?
579
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:43,080
Oh, the plans.
Okay, I'll be right over.
580
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,640
Let me out!
Let me out!
581
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:58,280
Let me outta here!
582
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:01,280
Hey, let me outta here
or throw me a magazine!
583
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,160
So that's your game, hey?
I'll huff and I'll puff
584
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,480
and I'll blow your door in!
585
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,320
Come in.
586
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,040
Oh, your Excellency,
I'm so glad you've come.
587
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,440
I'm glad I come too.
You gotta the plans?
588
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:31,800
Why, your Excellency, you sound so strange.
Why are you talking like that?
589
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:36,040
Oh you see, maybe sometime
I go to Italy and I'm practicing the language.
590
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,240
I'll see my lawyer about this
as soon as he graduates from law school.
591
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,200
Your dialect is perfect.
I could listen to you all night.
592
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:55,520
That's all right,
but I can't stay here all night.
593
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,280
- Where's the plans?
- They're in the safe downstairs.
594
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,480
I'll write out the combination.
595
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:14,760
Oh, there you are.
Here's the combination.
596
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,920
Is that clear?
597
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,000
Is there anything else
you want to know?
598
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:23,720
What's the matter with you?
Have you lost your voice?
599
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,360
Let me get you a glass of water,
your Excellency.
600
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,520
Your Excellency,
here's your water!
601
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,320
What in the world
is the matter with...?
602
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,680
Your Excellency,
I thought you left.
603
00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:46,200
- Oh no, I no leave.
- But I saw you with my own eyes.
604
00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:48,840
Well, who you gonna believe,
me or your own eyes?
605
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:54,600
Your Excellency, I'm sorry,
but this excitement's too much for me.
606
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,080
- I feel faint.
- Wait, I get you a glass of water.
607
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:16,520
- How about my glass of water?
- I give up. How about your glass of water?
608
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:06,520
What's that?
609
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,800
- Sounds to me like mice.
- Mice? Mice don't play music.
610
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,000
No? How about the old maestro?
611
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,120
Get me headquarters.
Not hindquarters, headquarters.
612
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:39,520
Hello? Rush the guards right over to
Mrs. Teasdale's and have 'em surround the house.
613
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:38,320
His Excellency,
Rufus T. Firefly.
614
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,240
Hail, hail Freedonia
615
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:46,600
Land of the brave
and free
616
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,600
Lieutenant!
617
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,920
Why weren't the original indictment
papers placed in my portfolio?
618
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:06,040
Why eh... I didn't think those papers
were important at this time, your Excellency.
619
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:07,840
You didn't think
they were important?
620
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,360
You realize I had my dessert
wrapped in those papers?
621
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:13,000
Here, take this bottle back
and get two cents for it.
622
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,000
Hello, boss!
623
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:18,240
Chicolini, I bet you
eight to one we find you guilty.
624
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,200
That's-a no good.
I can get ten to one at the barbershop.
625
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:25,880
Chicolini, you're charged with high treason.
And if found guilty, you'll be shot.
626
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,200
- I object.
- Oh, you object!
627
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:31,360
- On what grounds?
- I couldn't think of anything else to say.
628
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,400
- Objection sustained.
- Your Excellency,
you sustained the objection?
629
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,960
Sure, I couldn't think of anything else
to say either. Why don't you object?
630
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,400
Chicolini, when were you born?
631
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,000
I don't remember.
I was just a little baby.
632
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:47,160
Isn't it true you tried to sell
Freedonia's secret war code and plans?
633
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,640
Sure, I sold a code
and two pair of plans.
634
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:52,800
It's some joke, eh, boss?
635
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:54,840
Now I'll bet you twenty to one
we find you guilty.
636
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,720
Chicolini, have you anyone here
to defend you?
637
00:48:57,760 --> 00:49:01,120
It's-a no use.
I even offered to pay as high as $18,
638
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:03,440
but I no could getta
somebody to defend me.
639
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:07,160
My friends, this man's
case moves me deeply.
640
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,800
Look at Chicolini,
he sits there alone.
641
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:15,080
- An abject figure.
- I "abject"!
642
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:20,400
I say, look at Chicolini,
he sits there alone, a pitiable object!
643
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:24,840
Let's see you get outta that one.
Surrounded by a sea of unfriendly faces!
644
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:27,000
Chicolini, give me
a number from one to ten!
645
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:28,560
- Eleven.
- Right!
646
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:32,160
Now I ask you one.
What is it has a trunk, but no key,
647
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:34,200
weighs 2,000 pounds
and lives in a circus?
648
00:49:34,240 --> 00:49:36,240
- That's irrelevant.
- Irr-"elephant"?
649
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,680
Hey, that's the answer. There's a whole
lotta of irr-elephants in a circus.
650
00:49:39,720 --> 00:49:41,560
That sort of testimony
we can eliminate!
651
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,320
- That's-a fine, I'll take some.
- You'll take what?
652
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,920
A "liminate", a nice,
cold glass-a lemonade.
653
00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:48,680
Hey, boss,
I'm going good.
654
00:49:48,720 --> 00:49:53,360
Gentlemen, Chicolini here
may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot.
655
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,080
But don't let that fool you.
He really is an idiot.
656
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:59,400
I implore you.
Send him back to his father and brothers
657
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,680
who are waiting for him
with open arms in the penitentiary.
658
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:06,240
I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth
or eleven years in Twelveworth.
659
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:08,880
I tell you what I'll do.
I'll take five and ten in Woolworth.
660
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,760
I wanted to get a writ of Habeas Corpus,
but I should have gotten a-rid of you instead.
661
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:12,920
- I object.
- Even I object.
662
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,680
- Then I object too.
- You're on trial, you can't object.
663
00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:18,360
Your Excellency,
general Cooper says
664
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,560
that the Sylvanian troops
are about to land on Freedonian soil.
665
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,000
- This means war!
- Something must be done.
666
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,400
War would mean a prohibitive
increase in our taxes.
667
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,240
Hey, I got an uncle lives in Texas.
668
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,560
No! I'm talking about
taxes, money, dollars.
669
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,800
Dallas! That's where
my uncle lives, Dallas, Texas!
670
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:39,360
More bad news.
671
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,280
- Didn't I tell you?
- Your Excellency.
672
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,600
- What's on your mind, babe?
- In behalf of the women of Freedonia,
673
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,440
I have taken it upon myself
to make one final effort to prevent war.
674
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:55,160
- No kidding?
- I've talked to Ambassador Trentino,
675
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,720
and he says Sylvania
doesn't want war either.
676
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,880
- "Either. "
- Doesn't want war "either. "
677
00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:02,360
Either. Skip it.
678
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,560
I've taken the liberty of asking
the ambassador to come over here.
679
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:10,480
Because we both felt that a friendly
conference would settle everything peacefully.
680
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:12,560
He'll be here any moment.
681
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:14,840
Mrs. Teasdale,
you did a noble deed.
682
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:16,840
I'd be unworthy of the high trust
that's been placed in me
683
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:21,200
if I didn't do everything within my power to keep
our beloved Freedonia at peace with the world.
684
00:51:21,240 --> 00:51:23,560
I'd be only too happy to
meet Ambassador Trentino
685
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:27,480
and offer him on behalf of my country
the right hand of good fellowship.
686
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:31,360
And I feel sure he will accept
this gesture in the
spirit in which it is offered.
687
00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:34,560
But suppose he doesn't.
A fine thing that'll be.
688
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,320
I hold out my hand and
he refuses to accept it.
689
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,240
That'll add a lot to
my prestige, won't it?
690
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,160
Me, the head of a country,
snubbed by a foreign ambassador!
691
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,520
Who does he think he is
that he can come here
692
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,840
and make a sap out of me
in front of my people?
693
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:48,840
Think of it.
I hold out my hand
694
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,320
and that hyena
refuses to accept it.
695
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:53,200
Why, the cheap
four-flushing swine!
696
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:56,040
He'll never get away with it, I tell you!
He'll never get away with it!
697
00:51:56,080 --> 00:51:57,480
Oh, please!
698
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,440
So, you refuse to shake
hands with me, eh?
699
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,800
Mrs. Teasdale, this is the last straw!
There's no turning back now!
700
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:04,440
This means war!
701
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:09,520
Then it's war!
702
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:12,360
Then it's war!
Gather the forces!
703
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:15,480
Harness the horses!
Then it's war!
704
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,920
- Freedonia's going to war
- Each son will grab a gun
705
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:23,200
- And run away to war.
- At last we're going to
706
00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:24,880
Feet will beat along
the street to war
707
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:26,880
- We're going to war
- Our country's going to war
708
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:29,800
- Our country's going to war
- The country's going to war
709
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,680
We're going to war
this is a fact we can't ignore
710
00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:36,760
We're going to war, this is
a fact we can't ignore we're going to war
711
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:41,120
In case you haven't heard before
I think they think we're going to war
712
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,920
We're going to war
I think they think we're going to war
713
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,000
We're going to war
going to war
714
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,360
- We're going to war
- We're going to war
715
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,880
To war, to war
we're finally going to war
716
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,560
Hi-de, hi-de
hi-de, hi-de ho
717
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,520
To war, to war
to war we're gonna go
718
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,240
Hi-de, hi-de
hi-de, hi-de ho
719
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:34,360
Hi-de, hi-de
hi-de, hi-de ho
720
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,320
Hi-de, hi-de
hi-de, hi-de ho
721
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:40,360
Hi-de, hi-de
hi-de, hi-de ho
722
00:53:57,360 --> 00:54:00,760
They got guns,
we got guns
723
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,560
All God's children
got guns
724
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:07,160
We're gonna walk all over
the battlefield
725
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:10,760
'Cause all God's
children got guns
726
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,320
Oh Freedonia
oh don't you cry for me
727
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:18,280
'Cause I'm coming 'round the mountain
with a banjo on my knee
728
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,720
Oh Freedonia
oh don't you cry for me
729
00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:23,920
'Cause I'm coming
'round the mountain
730
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:28,120
with a banjo
731
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:31,160
on my...
732
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,840
To war, to war,
to war we're gonna go
733
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:53,400
To war, to war,
to war
734
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:05,600
To war, to war,
we soon will say good-bye
735
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:09,400
How we'll cry for Firefly
if Firefly should die.
736
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:10,880
A mighty man is he
737
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:14,280
A man of brawn who'll carry on
'til dawn of victory
738
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:17,560
With him to lead the way
our spirits will not lag
739
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:21,120
Until the judgment day
we'll rally 'round the flag
740
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:25,800
The flag, the flag,
the flag!
741
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,360
The enemy is coming! There'll be two lamps
in the steeple if they're coming by land
742
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,280
and one if they're coming by sea.
743
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:39,800
They double-crossed me.
They're coming by land and sea!
744
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:43,240
Ride through every village and town!
Wake every citizen up hill and down!
745
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:47,280
Tell 'em the enemy comes from afar
with a hey-nonny-nonny and a ha-cha-cha!
746
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,360
Be off, my lad!
747
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,560
My husband!
Hide in... hide in there!
748
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:44,560
Oh, don't.
749
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:53,320
- Freedonia's going to war!
- I'm gonna take a bath.
750
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:05,640
Clear all wires.
The enemy has captured hill 27 and 28.
751
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:07,560
Throwing 13 hillbillies
out of work.
752
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:10,520
Last night two snipers crept into
our machine-gun nest and laid an egg.
753
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,320
Send reinforcements immediately.
Send that off collect.
754
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:17,680
Your Excellency, our men
are being badly beaten in open warfare.
755
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:19,000
- I suggest we dig trenches.
- Dig trenches?
756
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:22,200
With our men being killed off like flies
there isn't time to dig trenches.
757
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,720
- We'll buy ready-made. Here, run
out and get some trenches. - Yes, sir.
758
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,000
- Wait a minute, get 'em this high and our
soldiers won't need any pants.
- Yes, sir.
759
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:31,480
- Wait a minute, get 'em this high and
we won't need any soldiers. - Yes, sir.
760
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,200
Chicolini, your partner's deserted us,
but I'm still counting on you.
761
00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:36,640
There's a machine-gun nest near hill 28.
I want it cleaned out.
762
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,920
All right, I'll tell the janitor.
763
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:40,160
Message from the front, sir.
764
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:43,640
Oh, I'm sick of messages from the front.
Don't we ever get a message from the side?
765
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:46,360
What is it?
766
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,640
General Smith reports a gas attack.
He wants to know what to do.
767
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:51,760
Tell him to take a teaspoon full of
bicarbonate soda and a half a glass of water.
768
00:58:51,800 --> 00:58:53,240
Yes, sir.
769
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:57,440
- Any answer to that message?
- No, sir.
770
00:58:57,480 --> 00:58:59,680
Well, in that case,
don't send it.
771
00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,200
Gentlemen, this is
the last straw.
772
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:13,440
- Where's my Stradivarius?
- Here, sir!
773
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:16,480
I'll show 'em they
can't fiddle around with old Firefly.
774
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:24,240
- Look at 'em run. Now they know
they've been in a war. - Your Excellency!
775
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:27,400
- They're fleeing like rats!
- But sir, I've got to tell you...
776
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,640
Remind me to give myself
the Firefly medal for this.
777
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:31,680
Your Excellency,
you're shooting your own men.
778
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:34,640
- What?
- You're shooting your own men!
779
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:38,600
Here's five dollars. Keep it under your hat.
Never mind. I'll keep it under my hat.
780
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,240
Now we've got to have
more men or we're lost!
781
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:45,120
Don't be alarmed, I've got a man
combing the countryside for volunteers.
782
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:54,360
Your Excellency, the army's morale is
crumbling. The men are breaking ranks.
783
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,400
- Where's the Secretary of War?
- That's it! Where is the Secretary of War?
784
00:59:57,440 --> 00:59:58,720
The soldiers are
waiting for his orders.
785
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,520
His Excellency,
the Secretary of War.
786
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:08,680
Awfully decent of
you to drop in today.
787
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:10,800
You realize our army is
facing disastrous defeat?
788
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:12,840
- What do you intend to do about it?
- I've done it already.
789
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:15,000
- You've done what?
- I've changed to the other side.
790
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,560
So you're on the other side, eh?
Well, what are you doing over here?
791
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:20,000
Well, the food is better over here.
792
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:26,720
Chicolini, I need you
badly right now.
793
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:28,480
What'll you take to come back
and work for me again?
794
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:30,880
- I'll take a vacation.
- Good, you're hired.
795
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,920
Now, go out in that battlefield
and lead those men to victory.
796
01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:36,000
Go on, they're waiting for you.
797
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,640
I wouldn't go out there unless
I was in one of those big iron things
798
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:41,400
that go up and down like this.
What do you call those things?
799
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:43,320
- Tanks.
- You're welcome.
800
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:48,800
Your Excellency, you must come here at once.
There's danger here.
801
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:51,360
Why don't come over here?
There's no danger here.
802
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:05,920
- Shh!
- Rufus!
803
01:01:07,600 --> 01:01:09,680
Oh!
804
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:14,280
Wait a minute, I want
to find out something.
805
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:20,120
Just as I thought,
the coast is clear.
806
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:23,320
Chicolini, to your post!
807
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:26,920
Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor
which is probably more than she ever did.
808
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:28,560
Your Excellency!
809
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,360
There goes my gun.
Run out and get that like a good girl.
810
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:32,280
Oh, I'm afraid!
811
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:35,120
We can't last much longer.
Our ammunition supplies are very low!
812
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:37,200
Man the boats, Lieutenant!
I'll get help!
813
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,880
Calling all nations!
Calling all nations!
814
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,520
This is Rufus T...
815
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:51,960
This is Rufus T. Firefly
coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy.
816
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:53,480
We're in a mess, folks!
We're in a mess!
817
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:56,000
Rush to Freedonia. Three men and
one woman are trapped in a building.
818
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:59,440
Send help at once.
If you can't send help, send two more women.
819
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:02,480
Make it three more women.
820
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,200
Your Excellency, we can't hold out much longer!
We must have help!
821
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:15,160
One of us has got to break through the lines
and get word to general Cooper and his men.
822
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:17,880
Quiet back there!
823
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:21,320
Which one of us is gonna
have the rare privilege
of sacrificing his life for his country?
824
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:24,120
- We draw lots.
- Wait! I got it.
825
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:26,880
Rrringspot, vonza, twoza,
zig-zag-zav, popti, vinaga.
826
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:30,960
Harem, scarem, merchan,
tarem, teir, tore...
827
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:34,360
I did it wrong.
Wait, wait, I start here.
828
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:36,960
Rrringspot, vonza, twoza,
zig-zag-zav, popti, vinaga.
829
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,600
Harem, scarem, merchan,
tarem, teir, tore...
830
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,400
That's no good too.
Oh, I got it!
831
01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:44,040
Rrringspot, buck!
832
01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:47,040
You're a brave man.
Go and break through the lines!
833
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:50,000
And remember, while you're out there
risking life and limb through shot and shell,
834
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:52,520
we'll be in here thinking
what a sucker you are.
835
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:55,160
Good-bye, Mont Blanc,
good-bye.
836
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,320
- For Freedonia! - For
Freedonia! - For Freedonia!
837
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:05,440
Gloria! Gloria!
Where did they get you?
838
01:03:06,280 --> 01:03:08,640
Hey, careful with the water!
It's the only water we got.
839
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:10,960
Well, it's the only woman we got.
840
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,040
We're surrounded!
They're attacking from the rear!
841
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:21,320
- They're coming this way!
- We'll barricade the door!
842
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,200
This is Firefly talking!
Send help at once!
843
01:03:33,240 --> 01:03:35,160
Help is on the way!
844
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,720
Carry on, men!
Help is on the way!
845
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:04,600
They got me.
They got me. Water!
846
01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:10,680
Water!
847
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:17,920
Get me outta this!
Get me outta this!
848
01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:23,040
The last time this happened to me
I was crawling under a bed.
849
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:25,600
Oh, if help would only come!
850
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:28,480
Your Excellency?
851
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,080
Any mail for me
while I was gone?
852
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:44,440
Get away from me!
853
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,880
Oh! Oh!
854
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,000
Hey, Trentino!
855
01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:59,400
Trentino, eh?
That's game.
856
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:04,520
- Trentino!
- Trentino, eh?
857
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,520
Call me an upstart, eh?
858
01:05:06,560 --> 01:05:08,640
I surrender!
I surrender!
859
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:11,200
I'm sorry, you'll have to wait
'til the fruit runs out.
860
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,280
Victory is ours!
861
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,600
Hail, hail Freedonia
862
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:21,680
Land of the brave...
74051
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