Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,570
Angelenos head into day five
2
00:00:20,573 --> 00:00:23,497
of record heat and a
citywide power outage.
3
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:27,017
If you think this is great,
4
00:00:27,019 --> 00:00:29,686
wait till I show you the ocean.
5
00:00:40,699 --> 00:00:42,607
I think she's gonna be fine.
6
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,110
- But how are you doing?
- Shaky.
7
00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:47,164
I just feel like the
adrenaline's wearing off.
8
00:00:47,167 --> 00:00:48,516
Then you should get her home.
9
00:00:48,519 --> 00:00:51,510
I bet you both could
use a good night's sleep.
10
00:00:51,513 --> 00:00:52,729
Hi.
11
00:00:55,381 --> 00:00:57,381
I am sure
12
00:00:57,383 --> 00:01:00,367
that you're confused
13
00:01:00,369 --> 00:01:02,536
and hurt and...
14
00:01:02,538 --> 00:01:04,855
and probably really scared.
15
00:01:08,227 --> 00:01:10,986
I don't... really know what to say.
16
00:01:12,064 --> 00:01:15,807
You don't need to go to the police,
17
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:18,994
or come looking for me.
18
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:25,797
I'm not in any danger, and
no one is making me do this.
19
00:01:30,372 --> 00:01:33,031
But Jee is not safe with me.
20
00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:39,098
Not now and maybe...
21
00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:44,895
I know that you're gonna
take really good care of her.
22
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:51,068
And she's better off without me.
23
00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,738
I love you.
24
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,952
I love both of you.
25
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,914
And I'm really sorry.
26
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:17,484
- What is going on?
- Maddie, what did you do to him?
27
00:02:17,487 --> 00:02:18,887
Where did you get that?
28
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,872
You should have left it where it was.
29
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,540
Do you think this was my fault?
30
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,179
No, it was my fault.
31
00:02:24,182 --> 00:02:25,453
That's right.
32
00:02:25,456 --> 00:02:27,730
You're never the one
getting left behind.
33
00:02:27,732 --> 00:02:30,557
You're the one who leaves.
34
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,793
If something was to
happen to you or her,
35
00:02:32,795 --> 00:02:34,294
I can't carry that, Maddie.
36
00:02:34,296 --> 00:02:36,554
That will be the thing that
breaks me, so please...
37
00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:58,093
Have you had any
suicidal thoughts recently?
38
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,820
Yes.
39
00:02:59,822 --> 00:03:02,831
Frequently, sometimes, or rarely?
40
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,749
Past few months.
41
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:08,187
Have you had suicidal
thoughts in your past?
42
00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:11,923
Sometimes.
43
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,026
How long ago?
44
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,030
I was in an abusive marriage.
45
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,825
I had thoughts then, but not like this.
46
00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:26,562
What about before that? Growing up,
47
00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:29,679
did you have any feelings of depression?
48
00:03:29,682 --> 00:03:32,110
- Suicidal ideations?
- Depression? Yeah.
49
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:35,464
Off and on. It started when I was a kid.
50
00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:38,025
At what age?
51
00:03:38,027 --> 00:03:39,722
I don't know, like, nine,
52
00:03:39,725 --> 00:03:42,320
- ten.
- You were very young.
53
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,865
My brother died. He was sick.
54
00:03:44,867 --> 00:03:46,539
I'm sorry for your loss.
55
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:48,906
That must've been hard
at such a young age.
56
00:03:48,909 --> 00:03:51,462
Is there a history of
depression in your family?
57
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,172
My mom. She, uh...
58
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:58,136
...talked a lot about wanting
to die after losing my brother.
59
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:02,232
Do you engage in any form of self-harm?
60
00:04:02,234 --> 00:04:03,575
No.
61
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:09,039
But three days ago, I tried
to drown myself in the ocean.
62
00:04:14,063 --> 00:04:16,632
Okay, after Patty's
done taking your blood,
63
00:04:16,635 --> 00:04:19,157
we'll take you to get
an ECG and a CT scan,
64
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,326
and then you can get some rest.
65
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:23,178
What happens tomorrow?
66
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,679
Breakfast starts at 7:00. Meds at 8:00.
67
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,635
Group starts at 9:00.
68
00:04:57,883 --> 00:05:00,625
Okay, and meds are at 8:00.
69
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,792
You should eat something.
70
00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:23,331
Ms. Buckley,
71
00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:25,656
your TSH levels are borderline.
72
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,494
Do you have family
history of thyroid issues?
73
00:05:28,497 --> 00:05:30,515
- Not that I'm aware of.
- Hmm.
74
00:05:30,518 --> 00:05:32,748
Although, my mom and I don't
talk about stuff like that,
75
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:36,093
or... anything really.
76
00:05:36,096 --> 00:05:39,904
Okay. Let's run some more tests.
77
00:05:44,987 --> 00:05:47,203
Doctor's ordered another test.
78
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:51,581
- More blood? Seriously?
- You might wish it were blood.
79
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:53,584
You-you want me to pee in that?
80
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:56,638
For the next 24 hours.
81
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:04,275
Postpartum thyroiditis?
How did I miss that?
82
00:06:04,278 --> 00:06:06,986
At first, your thyroid is overactive.
83
00:06:06,989 --> 00:06:09,859
The symptoms can feel
like typical baby blues.
84
00:06:09,862 --> 00:06:12,392
Anxiety, insomnia, irritability.
85
00:06:12,395 --> 00:06:15,759
Looks like the stress of
having a newborn, but then
86
00:06:15,762 --> 00:06:19,236
it starts to slow down,
or in your case, shut down.
87
00:06:19,239 --> 00:06:22,695
So, I-I'm just... cured?
88
00:06:22,698 --> 00:06:24,048
Well, now that we have
89
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,526
identified the underlying
condition, we can get you
90
00:06:26,528 --> 00:06:29,879
started on some hormone therapy.
91
00:06:29,881 --> 00:06:31,501
Maddie, you all right?
92
00:06:31,504 --> 00:06:33,405
Yeah, I'm... relieved.
93
00:06:33,408 --> 00:06:34,983
Since having her,
94
00:06:34,986 --> 00:06:37,095
I didn't know what was
wrong with me, so...
95
00:06:37,098 --> 00:06:40,131
I guess now there is an answer.
96
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,858
Yeah.
97
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:44,861
Okay.
98
00:06:48,217 --> 00:06:49,716
You're transferring me?
99
00:06:49,718 --> 00:06:51,907
You're responding well to the treatment.
100
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:54,509
I think it's time to move
you to the outpatient program
101
00:06:54,512 --> 00:06:56,573
at the women's center.
102
00:06:56,575 --> 00:06:58,725
This is good news, Maddie.
103
00:06:58,727 --> 00:07:00,560
You get to go home.
104
00:07:00,562 --> 00:07:02,504
Yeah.
105
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:04,214
Great.
106
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,847
So now what?
107
00:07:11,849 --> 00:07:15,040
- Let's take a walk.
- Okay.
108
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,689
So, are you from Boston?
109
00:07:16,692 --> 00:07:19,220
Yeah, born and raised in Roxbury. You?
110
00:07:19,223 --> 00:07:21,072
Pennsylvania. Now, California.
111
00:07:21,075 --> 00:07:24,118
What brought you here? Plenty
of good hospitals in California.
112
00:07:24,121 --> 00:07:26,528
I trained at this hospital.
113
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,363
I used to be a nurse.
114
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:29,773
So, why'd you quit?
115
00:07:29,775 --> 00:07:32,121
Just got to be too much.
116
00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:33,640
I get that.
117
00:07:33,643 --> 00:07:36,218
Some of these patients will make
you question your career path.
118
00:07:36,221 --> 00:07:38,388
Present company excluded.
119
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,649
Ah, thank you.
120
00:07:39,651 --> 00:07:41,798
But I still think the
good outweighs the bad.
121
00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:45,956
Helping people, being able to
watch them heal and get better.
122
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:49,711
I'm talking about you, by the way.
123
00:07:49,714 --> 00:07:51,939
You really think that
I'm getting better?
124
00:07:51,942 --> 00:07:55,267
I am no doctor, but
I've been where you are,
125
00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:58,093
and I think you're getting stronger.
126
00:07:58,095 --> 00:08:01,096
You're stronger than you
think you are, Maddie.
127
00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:05,556
We do a lot of short-term.
128
00:08:05,559 --> 00:08:07,936
Visiting nurses needing
a place to crash.
129
00:08:07,938 --> 00:08:09,968
- It's not fancy, but...
- It's fine.
130
00:08:09,971 --> 00:08:11,228
- I'll take it.
- Great.
131
00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:13,166
I just need you to
fill out some paperwork.
132
00:08:13,168 --> 00:08:16,236
Uh, what if I just pay
in advance? Six months.
133
00:08:19,741 --> 00:08:22,984
Are you part of the program
over at the hospital?
134
00:08:22,987 --> 00:08:24,754
Yeah.
135
00:08:29,748 --> 00:08:31,915
I know he means well,
136
00:08:31,918 --> 00:08:34,040
but I'm so tired of him trying to help.
137
00:08:34,043 --> 00:08:36,962
I can't just turn that
frown upside down, Jim.
138
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:40,047
Maybe you can bring Jim to our
next friends and family session.
139
00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,566
Okay.
140
00:08:41,569 --> 00:08:43,236
Well, that's it for today.
141
00:08:43,239 --> 00:08:45,676
Thank you all. I'll see you on Thursday.
142
00:08:56,427 --> 00:08:58,673
So, where are they all rushing off to?
143
00:08:58,676 --> 00:09:01,994
Oh, uh, school pickup,
daycare, the usual.
144
00:09:01,997 --> 00:09:03,486
Not you?
145
00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:06,010
My daughter's with her dad.
146
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,344
Can't see her right now.
147
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,697
Me either.
148
00:09:11,016 --> 00:09:12,257
Oh, no, no.
149
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,931
There's better coffee down the street.
150
00:09:13,934 --> 00:09:17,021
Um... Do you want to go grab some?
151
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:19,457
If you don't have anywhere else to be.
152
00:09:22,386 --> 00:09:25,470
I have nowhere else to go.
153
00:09:41,231 --> 00:09:43,398
Keep going.
154
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,566
Come to Daddy.
155
00:09:44,568 --> 00:09:48,001
That's it. You're doing it.
156
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,147
You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
157
00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:54,300
Wait till Mommy sees this.
She's gonna be so proud.
158
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,819
No, wait. Don't touch that.
159
00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:12,489
Keep going.
160
00:10:12,492 --> 00:10:13,750
Come to Daddy.
161
00:10:13,753 --> 00:10:16,263
That's it. You're doing it.
162
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:18,766
You're doing it, Jee-Yun.
163
00:10:18,768 --> 00:10:22,395
Wait till Mommy sees this.
She's gonna be so proud.
164
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,314
Maddie?
165
00:10:27,317 --> 00:10:29,777
Thank God. Are-are you okay?
166
00:10:29,779 --> 00:10:32,096
Why is Chimney in Utah?
167
00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:33,339
He left town looking for you.
168
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,768
Found out what happened to Jee-Yun...
169
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:36,270
I told you not to tell him.
170
00:10:36,273 --> 00:10:38,868
No, he-he figured it out
on his own. Wait a minute,
171
00:10:38,871 --> 00:10:40,712
h-how do you know where Chimney is?
172
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:42,272
Did... did you talk to him?
173
00:10:42,274 --> 00:10:45,201
He emailed me a video. I
guess Jee's started crawling.
174
00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:47,368
Maddie, please just
175
00:10:47,371 --> 00:10:50,189
tell me where you are.
176
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,451
I can come and get you.
177
00:10:51,454 --> 00:10:53,873
I-I-I can send Chimney,
whatever you want.
178
00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:56,636
We just, we need to
know that you're safe.
179
00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:58,509
I am safe. I'm just...
180
00:10:58,512 --> 00:11:01,517
Not ready, not yet.
181
00:11:04,504 --> 00:11:07,566
Uh, I got to go, okay? Love you.
182
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,376
So, you're freaking out
183
00:11:12,379 --> 00:11:14,455
over the Old North Church bell?
184
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,699
I can't see him yet. I'm not ready.
185
00:11:16,702 --> 00:11:18,611
What-what-what do you
mean, you're not ready?
186
00:11:18,614 --> 00:11:20,328
I'm not ready to go home.
187
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:24,056
I still have so much that
I have to work through.
188
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,667
I'm just not ready to face all that.
189
00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:27,151
Maddie, are...
190
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,673
are you afraid of your ex? Is he...
191
00:11:29,676 --> 00:11:33,007
God, no. No, he would never...
192
00:11:33,009 --> 00:11:35,595
But I do think he probably hates me.
193
00:11:35,598 --> 00:11:37,344
Why would he hate you?
194
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,725
I almost killed our daughter.
195
00:11:43,781 --> 00:11:46,335
I was giving her a bath. I guess I...
196
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:49,673
nodded off. She slipped
under the water and...
197
00:11:49,675 --> 00:11:51,359
Oh, God.
198
00:11:51,361 --> 00:11:54,270
What kind of mom does that?
199
00:11:54,272 --> 00:11:56,923
Um...
200
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:59,091
The-the week before
201
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:03,204
I met you, I was finishing up a 28-day
202
00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:06,431
court-mandated rehab program.
203
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,100
I got a DUI.
204
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,102
Um...
205
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,863
My-my-my son
206
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:14,741
was in the backseat.
207
00:12:14,744 --> 00:12:17,470
I-I swear, I swear I never
208
00:12:17,473 --> 00:12:19,870
meant to put him in any danger.
209
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,131
I...
210
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:23,725
I was just so
211
00:12:23,727 --> 00:12:25,727
overwhelmed and...
212
00:12:25,729 --> 00:12:27,453
You were self-medicating.
213
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,481
That doesn't make you a bad person.
214
00:12:29,484 --> 00:12:31,501
It's the only way I know how to deal
215
00:12:31,504 --> 00:12:33,606
when things get hard.
216
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:37,296
Now, my-my ex won't let me see my son.
217
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,315
I have to prove...
218
00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:42,744
that I am not a danger anymore.
219
00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:45,988
I miss him so much.
220
00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:48,975
Maddie,
221
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,811
please stay. Please.
222
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,962
I...
223
00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:57,717
I think you're probably the
only friend I have right now.
224
00:12:58,928 --> 00:13:00,928
No one else,
225
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:03,580
no one else knows what this is like.
226
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:06,993
I just want to get better for her.
227
00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,253
I know, I know, and we...
228
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:11,447
we can help each other. Okay?
229
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:14,275
- Get better together.
- Okay.
230
00:13:14,277 --> 00:13:16,002
Then we both go home.
231
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,928
Yeah.
232
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:19,363
Okay.
233
00:13:29,731 --> 00:13:31,105
Boston?
234
00:13:31,108 --> 00:13:33,720
Yeah, Buck is convinced
he heard the bells
235
00:13:33,723 --> 00:13:36,630
of the Old North Church in
the background when she called.
236
00:13:36,632 --> 00:13:39,024
The "One, if by land,
two, if by sea" church?
237
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:41,043
As far as leads go, is that a lead?
238
00:13:41,046 --> 00:13:42,686
It's a place to start.
239
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:45,676
So, how's my apartment?
You trash the place yet?
240
00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:47,696
Uh...
241
00:13:47,699 --> 00:13:50,051
It's fine, uh, but you seriously
242
00:13:50,054 --> 00:13:52,090
need to cancel the
diaper subscription, okay?
243
00:13:52,093 --> 00:13:53,418
I'm running out of room here.
244
00:13:53,421 --> 00:13:55,927
Well, that explains where they are.
245
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:58,764
Why do you think Maddie
went to that church?
246
00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:00,814
I don't remember her ever going to mass.
247
00:14:00,817 --> 00:14:03,306
No, but I hear there's a
pretty great pizza joint
248
00:14:03,308 --> 00:14:05,492
- around the corner.
- So, where you staying?
249
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:10,645
Room rate's a lot lower than
what you're paying at the hotel.
250
00:14:10,648 --> 00:14:12,499
You sure about this?
I mean, it feels like
251
00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:14,168
one hell of an imposition, Eli.
252
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:17,746
Nah. We don't come down here
that much this time of year.
253
00:14:17,748 --> 00:14:21,175
Once opening day rolls around,
that's a different story.
254
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,496
We'll be gone by April, I promise.
255
00:14:24,499 --> 00:14:26,240
I just got to find Maddie first.
256
00:14:26,243 --> 00:14:28,168
You do your thing.
257
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,445
Thanks.
258
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,660
So, the detective still said no?
259
00:14:37,663 --> 00:14:40,088
He said there wasn't much he could do,
260
00:14:40,091 --> 00:14:41,844
but he did take Buck's statement,
261
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:45,017
and now he will file a
missing persons report.
262
00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:46,925
- But that's it.
- Well, we have
263
00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:50,019
no proof that she's in Boston,
Chimney, or even anywhere
264
00:14:50,021 --> 00:14:52,931
- in the state of Massachusetts.
- Commonwealth.
265
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:54,954
- What?
- It's the Commonwealth
266
00:14:54,957 --> 00:14:57,044
of Massachusetts. Apparently,
267
00:14:57,046 --> 00:14:58,864
they really care about that here.
268
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,884
I'm coming.
269
00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:07,370
I know, I know.
270
00:15:07,372 --> 00:15:09,372
Aw...
271
00:15:12,302 --> 00:15:13,962
I know, I know.
272
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:21,254
Yeah, I wish your mom was here, too.
273
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,246
- Hey, Gail.
- Good evening, Mr. Han.
274
00:15:35,249 --> 00:15:36,750
I'd ask what brings you in here today,
275
00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:38,447
but I'm afraid you're about to tell me.
276
00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:40,921
I'm just doing the rounds.
Making sure you haven't admitted
277
00:15:40,923 --> 00:15:43,072
a Maddie Buckley or a Maddie Kendall
278
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:44,707
- as a patient.
- Mr. Han...
279
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:47,081
I guess I'll hit the morgue next.
280
00:15:49,967 --> 00:15:53,392
Been to the women's clinic
yet? Next building over.
281
00:15:53,395 --> 00:15:55,919
They specialize in
postpartum depression.
282
00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:57,663
Thank you.
283
00:15:57,665 --> 00:16:00,015
Good luck.
284
00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:23,538
There you go, Jee-Jee.
285
00:16:23,540 --> 00:16:25,524
It's your favorite.
286
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,209
Come on, honey.
287
00:16:27,211 --> 00:16:28,549
Come on.
288
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,408
It's your favorite. It's vanilla bean...
289
00:16:30,411 --> 00:16:31,945
You know, this seems
like the part of the movie
290
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:33,354
where the detective becomes
291
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:34,830
a little too obsessed with the case,
292
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:37,125
and his boss has to send him home.
293
00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:39,888
First off, you're not my boss.
294
00:16:39,890 --> 00:16:41,991
And, second, if we're
overstaying our welcome
295
00:16:41,994 --> 00:16:43,484
- with you and Molly...
- No.
296
00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:46,479
I don't care if you stay in
the basement forever. Okay?
297
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:49,018
Though, I may have to
start charging you rent.
298
00:16:50,448 --> 00:16:52,475
But I don't think this is healthy, Howie.
299
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,661
I know it sounds crazy,
300
00:16:54,664 --> 00:16:56,245
but I just got this feeling that,
301
00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:57,682
one day, she's gonna walk out
302
00:16:57,685 --> 00:16:59,648
of that building,
303
00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:01,668
and I want to be here when she does,
304
00:17:01,670 --> 00:17:03,111
even if it's not today.
305
00:17:03,114 --> 00:17:04,428
Come on, baby.
306
00:17:04,431 --> 00:17:06,226
You know that's not how it works, right?
307
00:17:06,229 --> 00:17:08,825
- What?
- The universe.
308
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,994
You've been sitting here
for months trying to manifest
309
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:13,905
Maddie walking out
of those doors, but...
310
00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:16,517
you know, have you
considered maybe there's a...
311
00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:18,554
a cosmic tab you got to pay first?
312
00:17:18,557 --> 00:17:20,211
I'm gonna go with "no"
'cause I have no idea
313
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,930
what the hell you're talking about.
314
00:17:21,932 --> 00:17:25,508
Look, you need to stop being
so obsessed with what you want.
315
00:17:25,510 --> 00:17:27,131
Okay, you need to get off the bench
316
00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:29,288
and get back into the
world. It needs you.
317
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:31,365
To do what?
318
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,784
To be of service.
319
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:37,704
Maybe the universe
will return the favor.
320
00:17:37,706 --> 00:17:40,624
Or give up and go home.
321
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:45,128
- Come on.
- All right.
322
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:08,977
Let us bow our heads. As we gather
323
00:18:08,979 --> 00:18:10,979
this morning to honor St. Patrick,
324
00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:13,389
let us give thanks for this glorious day
325
00:18:13,391 --> 00:18:14,929
and the chance to come together
326
00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:16,618
as Faith of Men.
327
00:18:17,911 --> 00:18:21,413
I'm not feeling so good.
Ever since rehearsal
328
00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:25,068
this morning, i-it's like I'm...
I'm having trouble breathing.
329
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,952
Well, what do you want
me to do? Just rally.
330
00:18:27,955 --> 00:18:30,148
We still got the parade.
331
00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:31,960
Thank you, Lord, for this time together,
332
00:18:31,963 --> 00:18:33,468
and for continuing to guide us
333
00:18:33,471 --> 00:18:36,476
and inspire us as we
carry out your good work.
334
00:18:36,479 --> 00:18:38,599
- ...swelled up just like a melon.
- Shut up!
335
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:40,934
Nobody wants to hear
about your glory days.
336
00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:43,345
Stuff it, O'Malley. Ain't
nobody talking to you.
337
00:18:43,347 --> 00:18:45,269
Go to hell, jackass.
338
00:18:45,272 --> 00:18:47,367
Gentlemen, please. This is not
339
00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,362
how Faith of Men are supposed to behave.
340
00:18:52,430 --> 00:18:54,022
Start playing.
341
00:18:54,024 --> 00:18:57,342
Maybe the music will
calm these idiots down.
342
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:08,625
Oh, God. Murray!
343
00:19:14,062 --> 00:19:15,520
_
344
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:18,212
_
345
00:19:18,215 --> 00:19:20,031
All right, let's make a hole, guys.
346
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:21,791
I'm confused. Why are they serving beer
347
00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:23,945
- at a prayer breakfast?
- Eggs and kegs.
348
00:19:23,948 --> 00:19:26,825
- St. Patrick's Day tradition.
- If you say so.
349
00:19:26,828 --> 00:19:28,160
What happened here?
350
00:19:28,163 --> 00:19:30,055
Uh, he went down while we were playing.
351
00:19:30,058 --> 00:19:31,892
Before that, he said he was
having trouble breathing.
352
00:19:31,894 --> 00:19:33,697
Randall, let's get him on some oxygen.
353
00:19:38,449 --> 00:19:42,359
BP is extremely elevated, 160/95.
354
00:19:42,362 --> 00:19:44,831
Heart rate is rapid and irregular.
355
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:49,060
Legs and ankles also
appear to be swollen.
356
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:51,746
Oh. Pitting edema.
357
00:19:51,748 --> 00:19:53,581
Could be possible
right-sided heart failure.
358
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:54,841
Does your friend have a history
359
00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:56,617
- of heart trouble?
- No, not that I know of.
360
00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:57,827
- What about diabetes?
- No.
361
00:19:57,829 --> 00:19:59,087
He's not the healthiest guy, but I never
362
00:19:59,089 --> 00:20:00,922
heard him mention
anything about diabetes.
363
00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:02,486
Um, he has had a cough for a while.
364
00:20:02,489 --> 00:20:04,131
Cough.
365
00:20:08,339 --> 00:20:09,856
Getting a crackling sound.
366
00:20:09,858 --> 00:20:12,025
Sounds like serious lung
damage. Is he a smoker?
367
00:20:12,027 --> 00:20:13,601
Not Murray. He never touched them.
368
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,861
Maybe pulmonary fibrosis,
369
00:20:14,863 --> 00:20:16,643
but what would cause him to go down now?
370
00:20:16,646 --> 00:20:17,812
Are you for real asking me?
371
00:20:17,815 --> 00:20:19,182
Because our volunteer training
372
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,351
didn't go that in depth.
373
00:20:20,354 --> 00:20:21,868
You're like, smart.
374
00:20:21,870 --> 00:20:24,463
You're volunteers? I
called the paramedics.
375
00:20:24,466 --> 00:20:26,984
And we arrived first 'cause
our tent is across the street.
376
00:20:26,987 --> 00:20:28,875
- Medical Volunteer Corps.
- Okay.
377
00:20:28,877 --> 00:20:31,044
Looks like he's coming around.
378
00:20:31,046 --> 00:20:32,771
Welcome back, Murray. Let's figure out
379
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:34,172
what's going on with your lungs.
380
00:20:34,175 --> 00:20:36,550
- Bagpipe lung.
- That can't be a real thing.
381
00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:38,626
Hypersensitivity pneumonitis,
382
00:20:38,628 --> 00:20:40,721
if you're looking for the medical term.
383
00:20:40,723 --> 00:20:42,782
Happens to people who
play wind instruments,
384
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:44,448
and also bagpipes.
385
00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:48,803
W-What are you doing? You're
gonna ruin his bagpipes.
386
00:20:48,805 --> 00:20:51,062
Yeah. Pretty sure
they're already ruined.
387
00:20:51,065 --> 00:20:54,039
I'm gonna need a biohazard
bag. These are full of mold.
388
00:20:54,042 --> 00:20:56,031
You've been inhaling this
for God knows how long.
389
00:20:56,034 --> 00:20:57,370
It's wreaked havoc on your lungs.
390
00:20:57,373 --> 00:20:59,316
When was the last time
you cleaned those things?
391
00:20:59,319 --> 00:21:00,818
Never.
392
00:21:00,821 --> 00:21:02,303
That'll do it.
393
00:21:02,306 --> 00:21:04,398
You're lucky. If you kept going,
394
00:21:04,401 --> 00:21:05,898
these bagpipes would've killed you.
395
00:21:05,901 --> 00:21:08,476
They're gonna do X-rays and bloodwork
396
00:21:08,479 --> 00:21:11,508
at the hospital, probably put you on
397
00:21:11,511 --> 00:21:14,070
corticosteroids to reverse the damage.
398
00:21:19,909 --> 00:21:21,142
Bagpipe lung.
399
00:21:21,145 --> 00:21:22,737
First time I've seen that.
400
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,071
Buckle up, my friend.
401
00:21:24,073 --> 00:21:25,999
You're about to have
a lot of firsts today.
402
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:28,075
What do you mean you're a volunteer?
403
00:21:28,077 --> 00:21:30,411
Boston Medical Volunteer Corps.
404
00:21:30,413 --> 00:21:32,230
It's mostly handing out Band-Aids and
405
00:21:32,232 --> 00:21:34,081
bottles of water to drunk people.
406
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,676
There have been a few doozies, though.
407
00:21:35,679 --> 00:21:37,250
You ever hear of bagpipe lung?
408
00:21:37,253 --> 00:21:39,404
Well, it sounds like
you're really settling in
409
00:21:39,406 --> 00:21:40,663
to life in Boston.
410
00:21:40,665 --> 00:21:42,719
Honestly, I really
signed up to keep busy.
411
00:21:42,722 --> 00:21:44,750
Just wish it really kept me paid, too.
412
00:21:44,753 --> 00:21:47,261
My savings account balance
is getting pretty low.
413
00:21:47,263 --> 00:21:51,065
Well, you still have a full-time
job waiting for you here.
414
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,341
Chim?
415
00:21:52,343 --> 00:21:54,602
People are starting to ask questions.
416
00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:56,529
My answer is still the same, Bobby.
417
00:21:56,531 --> 00:21:58,767
I'm not coming home without Maddie.
418
00:21:58,769 --> 00:22:00,533
All right, I got to go.
419
00:22:05,823 --> 00:22:07,614
When I came here, I didn't
420
00:22:07,617 --> 00:22:09,617
know what to expect.
421
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:10,898
I felt so many
422
00:22:10,901 --> 00:22:12,194
terrible things about myself,
423
00:22:12,196 --> 00:22:14,722
I thought everyone else would, too.
424
00:22:14,725 --> 00:22:16,049
Then, when I got here,
425
00:22:16,051 --> 00:22:19,627
um, I realized I wasn't crazy or...
426
00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:21,512
alone.
427
00:22:22,531 --> 00:22:24,456
You guys healed me.
428
00:22:24,459 --> 00:22:26,225
You made me feel stronger,
429
00:22:26,228 --> 00:22:28,377
and I finally feel like
I'm ready to go home.
430
00:22:28,379 --> 00:22:31,622
So, I just wanted to say
thank you to all of you.
431
00:22:31,624 --> 00:22:34,192
I'm very grateful.
Es-Especially you, Kira.
432
00:22:35,886 --> 00:22:38,738
Oh, special shout-out.
433
00:22:40,467 --> 00:22:42,242
Lucky me.
434
00:22:42,244 --> 00:22:45,272
You were there when I needed a friend.
435
00:22:45,275 --> 00:22:46,883
I couldn't have done this without you.
436
00:22:46,886 --> 00:22:49,156
Hmm. Okay, let's all,
437
00:22:49,158 --> 00:22:52,493
let's all give her a round of applause.
438
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:55,965
I'm so glad that you are fixed.
439
00:22:55,968 --> 00:22:58,407
I don't think that's what
Maddie's saying, Kira.
440
00:22:58,409 --> 00:23:00,835
None of us have it
figured out. If we did,
441
00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:03,078
- we wouldn't be here.
- Whatever.
442
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,766
I am so happy for you.
443
00:23:06,768 --> 00:23:08,315
Okay? But, too bad
444
00:23:08,318 --> 00:23:11,312
for the rest of us who still have problems.
445
00:23:12,423 --> 00:23:14,023
That's it, everyone.
446
00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:16,517
Have a great afternoon.
I'll see you next time.
447
00:23:25,197 --> 00:23:26,861
Hey, Kira, wait a second. What was that?
448
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:29,180
I'm really not in the mood
449
00:23:29,182 --> 00:23:30,865
- for a lecture.
- Okay, that's fine.
450
00:23:30,867 --> 00:23:32,107
I just wanted to check on you
451
00:23:32,109 --> 00:23:33,126
'cause you don't seem like yourself.
452
00:23:33,128 --> 00:23:35,128
Mm. Maybe it's the depression.
453
00:23:35,130 --> 00:23:37,463
Maybe it's the whiskey.
454
00:23:37,465 --> 00:23:38,680
You're drunk.
455
00:23:38,683 --> 00:23:41,116
What do you care?
456
00:23:41,118 --> 00:23:42,618
You're leaving.
457
00:23:42,620 --> 00:23:46,213
My only support system's just
hightailing it out of here.
458
00:23:47,534 --> 00:23:51,144
I came here to get well
and to go home to my family.
459
00:23:51,146 --> 00:23:53,704
That was the plan, for both of us.
460
00:23:55,483 --> 00:23:59,301
I've messed up too badly.
461
00:23:59,303 --> 00:24:01,379
I don't deserve to be a mom.
462
00:24:01,381 --> 00:24:04,139
Okay, you know what? I told
myself exactly that same thing
463
00:24:04,141 --> 00:24:07,068
six months ago, and I was wrong.
464
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:08,661
I got better.
465
00:24:08,663 --> 00:24:09,978
You can, too.
466
00:24:09,980 --> 00:24:13,407
Not by this afternoon.
467
00:24:13,409 --> 00:24:14,575
Ugh.
468
00:24:14,577 --> 00:24:16,800
I have a supervised visitation.
469
00:24:16,803 --> 00:24:18,395
No, no, no. You can't, you can't
470
00:24:18,398 --> 00:24:20,571
- show up like this.
- I can't not show up.
471
00:24:20,574 --> 00:24:22,133
Okay, what time is the appointment?
472
00:24:22,136 --> 00:24:24,594
Um... 3:00.
473
00:24:26,089 --> 00:24:28,431
Come on, I have an idea.
474
00:24:32,019 --> 00:24:34,260
What are you doing? No, no, no, no.
475
00:24:34,263 --> 00:24:37,098
I-I-I cannot be admitted.
No. If my ex finds out,
476
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:38,916
I won't be able to see
my son. I'm sorry...
477
00:24:38,918 --> 00:24:40,027
Okay, I'm not admitting you.
478
00:24:40,029 --> 00:24:41,438
I'm not admitting you. I'm helping you.
479
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,345
Sit right here.
480
00:24:43,347 --> 00:24:45,882
I'm gonna get you a banana
bag. It'll sober you up.
481
00:24:45,884 --> 00:24:47,441
I'll be right back.
482
00:24:47,443 --> 00:24:49,452
Maddie?
483
00:24:50,573 --> 00:24:53,539
Why is your face on the bulletin board?
484
00:25:02,550 --> 00:25:04,258
What?
485
00:25:06,704 --> 00:25:08,370
That's you.
486
00:25:08,372 --> 00:25:10,890
Oh, my God, he's still looking for me.
487
00:25:10,892 --> 00:25:13,393
I thought you said he hated you.
488
00:25:15,183 --> 00:25:16,908
You lied.
489
00:25:17,882 --> 00:25:20,291
- I didn't lie.
- All this time,
490
00:25:20,293 --> 00:25:23,126
I thought that we were in the same boat.
491
00:25:23,129 --> 00:25:25,172
Being punished by our exes.
492
00:25:25,175 --> 00:25:27,648
Not being able to-to see our kids.
493
00:25:27,650 --> 00:25:31,152
But you could've gone
back any time, right?
494
00:25:31,154 --> 00:25:34,972
I'm fighting like hell to see my son,
495
00:25:34,974 --> 00:25:36,249
and you left them.
496
00:25:36,251 --> 00:25:37,658
I had to.
497
00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:40,609
Okay? It was dangerous for
her and for me, and I...
498
00:25:40,612 --> 00:25:43,739
I needed to get help and to get better.
499
00:25:43,741 --> 00:25:47,652
Congratulations, Maddie.
500
00:25:47,654 --> 00:25:49,345
You're better.
501
00:25:54,994 --> 00:25:57,270
You don't need me anymore.
502
00:25:58,921 --> 00:26:00,996
Kira!
503
00:26:00,999 --> 00:26:03,758
Excuse me. Sorry.
504
00:26:03,761 --> 00:26:05,069
Sorry.
505
00:26:44,634 --> 00:26:48,988
Snake bite. Looks like
localized tissue damage.
506
00:26:48,990 --> 00:26:51,639
Let's immobilize his hand and
elevate it above his heart.
507
00:26:51,641 --> 00:26:53,331
Don't want it to swell more than it is.
508
00:26:53,334 --> 00:26:55,143
Oh, no.
509
00:26:55,145 --> 00:26:57,479
The venom's making my heart swell.
510
00:26:57,482 --> 00:26:59,011
Oh, I'm gonna die.
511
00:26:59,014 --> 00:27:01,761
No, I meant your hand,
and statistically speaking,
512
00:27:01,764 --> 00:27:03,393
people don't die from snake bites.
513
00:27:03,395 --> 00:27:04,315
Stupidity,
514
00:27:04,318 --> 00:27:05,957
- that's another story.
- So, that's it?
515
00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:07,684
What about a tourniquet? Or maybe
516
00:27:07,687 --> 00:27:09,222
we can cut it and suck out the poison?
517
00:27:09,225 --> 00:27:11,448
That is exactly what
you're not supposed to do.
518
00:27:11,451 --> 00:27:13,209
- Antivenom is his best bet.
- Oh, it stings!
519
00:27:13,211 --> 00:27:15,464
And I don't know about you,
but I'm not packing any.
520
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,663
That's not a bad idea.
521
00:27:16,666 --> 00:27:17,924
We should ask for that.
522
00:27:17,927 --> 00:27:19,527
Every year, there's always some asshat
523
00:27:19,530 --> 00:27:22,014
dressed as St. Patrick
pretending to drive the snakes
524
00:27:22,017 --> 00:27:23,198
out of Ireland.
525
00:27:23,201 --> 00:27:26,024
And I thought Cinco de Mayo
in Los Angeles was crazy.
526
00:27:29,588 --> 00:27:31,565
Hey. Kira, it's Maddie.
527
00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:33,089
Um, just, please,
528
00:27:33,092 --> 00:27:34,683
call me, okay? I...
529
00:27:34,686 --> 00:27:36,766
Just want to make sure you're all right.
530
00:27:38,420 --> 00:27:40,846
- Thank you.
- Sir, I'm looking for a woman.
531
00:27:40,849 --> 00:27:42,229
She's late 30s. Blonde.
532
00:27:42,232 --> 00:27:43,914
About this tall and probably drunk.
533
00:27:43,917 --> 00:27:45,193
Oh, a drunk woman.
534
00:27:45,195 --> 00:27:46,394
That narrows it down.
535
00:27:46,397 --> 00:27:48,831
You know it's St. Patrick's Day, right?
536
00:27:50,717 --> 00:27:52,884
Lean forward a bit for me. There you go.
537
00:27:52,887 --> 00:27:54,727
- If you could hold that, please.
- Nothing's broken.
538
00:27:54,729 --> 00:27:56,630
Looks like he's all yours.
539
00:27:56,632 --> 00:27:58,465
Thanks. Let's go.
540
00:27:58,467 --> 00:28:01,539
So this guy tried to
rob a bank with a stick?
541
00:28:01,542 --> 00:28:04,511
Uh, technically it's a shillelagh.
542
00:28:04,514 --> 00:28:07,081
- And a rubber one at that.
- What were you thinking?
543
00:28:07,084 --> 00:28:09,626
She stole me pot o' gold.
544
00:28:09,628 --> 00:28:13,130
You know you're not
actually a leprechaun, right?
545
00:28:14,241 --> 00:28:15,890
Hey, Kira, call me.
546
00:28:15,892 --> 00:28:17,576
I'm really worried about you.
547
00:28:17,578 --> 00:28:20,137
Hey, I'm gonna go grab a
lobster roll from the food truck.
548
00:28:20,139 --> 00:28:21,495
- You want anything?
- Sure.
549
00:28:21,498 --> 00:28:23,064
Just make sure there's no mayo on it.
550
00:28:23,066 --> 00:28:25,995
I sense you have no idea
what a lobster roll is.
551
00:28:25,998 --> 00:28:27,568
Just grab him one anyway.
552
00:28:27,571 --> 00:28:29,571
Three lobster rolls coming up.
553
00:28:29,573 --> 00:28:33,092
So how is it? Being of service again.
554
00:28:33,094 --> 00:28:37,262
Honestly, it's the best
I've felt in probably a year.
555
00:28:41,968 --> 00:28:44,802
Get in the car.
556
00:28:46,014 --> 00:28:47,998
Hey, watch it.
557
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,850
Come on.
558
00:28:49,852 --> 00:28:52,034
Whoa. Is he all right?
559
00:28:52,037 --> 00:28:54,279
Look at this.
560
00:28:54,282 --> 00:28:56,207
Is that an axe?
561
00:28:56,210 --> 00:28:57,970
You gotta see this.
562
00:28:58,793 --> 00:29:01,013
Gabe. Gabe!
563
00:29:01,016 --> 00:29:02,942
Oh, my God, Gabe!
564
00:29:02,945 --> 00:29:04,444
You did this?
565
00:29:04,447 --> 00:29:06,274
We were axe throwing, and
he stumbled in front of me,
566
00:29:06,276 --> 00:29:08,487
and I-I hit him instead of the target.
567
00:29:08,490 --> 00:29:10,020
No pulse. He's not breathing.
568
00:29:10,022 --> 00:29:11,508
I'd say start compressions, but...
569
00:29:11,511 --> 00:29:13,632
There's an axe in his head?
570
00:29:13,634 --> 00:29:15,801
Randall, that sandwich
board, bring it over here!
571
00:29:15,803 --> 00:29:17,711
Okay. Okay, let's get
him into a seated position.
572
00:29:17,713 --> 00:29:19,596
I got his head.
573
00:29:21,651 --> 00:29:23,717
- What do I do?
- Randall, put the board behind him.
574
00:29:23,719 --> 00:29:25,460
Eli will hold him up
while I do compressions.
575
00:29:25,462 --> 00:29:27,292
- What do I do?
- Okay, hold his head,
576
00:29:27,295 --> 00:29:28,219
keep his airway clear.
577
00:29:28,222 --> 00:29:29,296
I can do that without
578
00:29:29,299 --> 00:29:31,208
looking at his head, right?
579
00:29:31,211 --> 00:29:32,609
Howie, on your count.
580
00:29:36,548 --> 00:29:39,049
Feels like old times, doesn't it?
581
00:29:39,051 --> 00:29:41,385
Well, nobody's puked on me yet.
582
00:29:42,482 --> 00:29:45,908
- Oh, God.
- That is not an invitation, Randall.
583
00:29:45,911 --> 00:29:47,987
Pulse check.
584
00:29:47,990 --> 00:29:49,534
Pulse is back. We got him.
585
00:29:49,537 --> 00:29:51,300
Dispatch, this is Paramedic Cobb.
586
00:29:51,303 --> 00:29:54,526
About to transport a young
male with an axe in his head
587
00:29:54,529 --> 00:29:56,421
to Mercy Shore Hospital.
588
00:29:56,424 --> 00:29:58,009
Okay, let's secure it and move him.
589
00:29:58,012 --> 00:29:59,050
What can I do?
590
00:29:59,053 --> 00:30:00,512
You can take up chess.
591
00:30:00,514 --> 00:30:03,331
- Oh!
- Sorry.
592
00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:05,500
I hate this day.
593
00:30:08,430 --> 00:30:09,909
- Ah, Kira?
- No.
594
00:30:09,912 --> 00:30:12,079
This is the bartender
down at Father Sean's Pub.
595
00:30:12,082 --> 00:30:15,620
- I think your friend needs some help.
- Okay.
596
00:30:21,684 --> 00:30:25,686
Hey. Our axe man's heading into surgery.
597
00:30:25,689 --> 00:30:28,765
Okay, great. Oh, my shift's over.
598
00:30:28,767 --> 00:30:31,672
I should get back, maybe,
and turn in this vest.
599
00:30:31,675 --> 00:30:34,167
- Oh, ride in the rig with me. I'll drop you off.
- You sure?
600
00:30:34,170 --> 00:30:35,546
What if another call comes in?
601
00:30:35,549 --> 00:30:37,699
I'll let you use the lights and sirens.
602
00:30:42,056 --> 00:30:43,956
Oh, God, she's puking.
603
00:30:43,959 --> 00:30:45,614
No. No, she's aspirating.
604
00:30:45,617 --> 00:30:47,226
Come on, we've got to
get her on her side.
605
00:30:47,228 --> 00:30:48,635
Kira?! Call 911.
606
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:51,379
All right.
607
00:30:52,928 --> 00:30:55,049
- 911.
- Yes, I'm calling from Father Sean's Pub.
608
00:30:55,051 --> 00:30:56,902
Kira, come on. Come
on, come on, come on.
609
00:30:56,904 --> 00:30:58,295
We have a young woman here who needs help.
610
00:30:58,297 --> 00:31:00,105
- We think she might be aspirating.
- Wake up.
611
00:31:00,107 --> 00:31:02,687
Good. Good! There's a
unit just down the block.
612
00:31:02,690 --> 00:31:04,484
- Good. Wave 'em down.
- Okay.
613
00:31:04,486 --> 00:31:06,189
Kira, come on, wake
up, wake up, wake up.
614
00:31:06,192 --> 00:31:07,634
- Come on, Kira, wake up!
- Over here!
615
00:31:07,636 --> 00:31:09,248
- Come on.
- Hey!
616
00:31:09,250 --> 00:31:10,807
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on.
- Kira, wake up.
617
00:31:10,809 --> 00:31:12,367
Over here.
618
00:31:12,369 --> 00:31:13,750
She's here. Come on!
619
00:31:13,753 --> 00:31:15,087
Oh, my God, hurry.
620
00:31:15,089 --> 00:31:17,422
Over here. Over here. She's right here.
621
00:31:17,424 --> 00:31:19,499
- Come on. She's right here.
- Excuse me. Excuse me. What do we got?
622
00:31:19,501 --> 00:31:21,743
She's 38 years old. Alcohol poisoning.
623
00:31:21,745 --> 00:31:23,953
She's aspirated vomit.
She's unresponsive.
624
00:31:23,956 --> 00:31:25,989
- How long has she been out?
- I don't know.
625
00:31:25,991 --> 00:31:27,766
I did a sternal rub
but she's not coming to.
626
00:31:27,768 --> 00:31:30,484
- Is she on anything?
- Prescriptions for antidepressants.
627
00:31:30,487 --> 00:31:33,755
- Any other drugs? Illegal substances?
- I don't know.
628
00:31:33,757 --> 00:31:37,229
Pardon me. Make a hole! Coming through.
629
00:31:41,097 --> 00:31:42,781
Maddie?
630
00:31:44,730 --> 00:31:46,058
Howie.
631
00:31:54,961 --> 00:31:57,295
We have acute alcohol intoxication,
632
00:31:57,298 --> 00:31:59,308
heart rate severely low.
633
00:31:59,311 --> 00:32:01,949
BP 80/60 and she's cold to the touch.
634
00:32:01,951 --> 00:32:04,991
- Let's start suction and get her on a gurney.
- Copy that.
635
00:32:07,875 --> 00:32:09,224
You okay?
636
00:32:09,227 --> 00:32:11,969
Y-Yeah. Is Jee with you?
637
00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:13,537
She's fine.
638
00:32:13,539 --> 00:32:14,721
She's staying with a friend
639
00:32:14,723 --> 00:32:16,648
while I play paramedic again.
640
00:32:16,650 --> 00:32:18,984
All right, suction's ready.
641
00:32:26,331 --> 00:32:29,165
38-year-old female with
acute alcohol poisoning,
642
00:32:29,168 --> 00:32:31,789
unresponsive on the scene
after aspirating vomit.
643
00:32:31,792 --> 00:32:34,406
Administered fluid and
bolused one liter of LR.
644
00:32:34,409 --> 00:32:36,636
Used mechanical suction to clear airway.
645
00:32:36,639 --> 00:32:38,864
Vitals are stable.
646
00:32:40,321 --> 00:32:42,488
I think she'll be okay.
647
00:32:42,491 --> 00:32:44,808
It's a good thing you found her in time.
648
00:32:44,811 --> 00:32:47,862
I'm, uh, I'm Eli, by the way.
649
00:32:47,865 --> 00:32:49,681
We were never formally introduced.
650
00:32:49,683 --> 00:32:52,581
- Maddie. I've heard a lot about you.
- Same.
651
00:32:52,584 --> 00:32:53,767
You and that little girl are about
652
00:32:53,769 --> 00:32:56,270
all he talks about these days.
653
00:32:56,273 --> 00:32:57,870
Where is he?
654
00:32:57,873 --> 00:32:59,995
Uh, probably outside.
655
00:32:59,998 --> 00:33:01,692
I think he needed a minute.
656
00:33:01,695 --> 00:33:04,070
Me, too.
657
00:33:04,912 --> 00:33:08,348
How is he... really?
658
00:33:08,351 --> 00:33:10,109
I mean, I know that I
could ask him myself.
659
00:33:10,111 --> 00:33:12,448
But he'd probably sugarcoat it for you?
660
00:33:12,451 --> 00:33:14,441
When he showed up, he was a mess.
661
00:33:14,444 --> 00:33:15,960
He was worried about you.
662
00:33:15,963 --> 00:33:19,640
He was worried about Jee-Yun,
and he was racked with guilt.
663
00:33:20,935 --> 00:33:22,935
Guilt? I'm the one that left.
664
00:33:22,938 --> 00:33:26,090
Yeah, but he's the one
that feels responsible.
665
00:33:28,731 --> 00:33:31,565
Eli said you would be here.
666
00:33:31,568 --> 00:33:34,402
He was right.
667
00:33:34,405 --> 00:33:35,839
He usually is.
668
00:33:35,842 --> 00:33:39,252
It's one of his more annoying traits.
669
00:33:39,255 --> 00:33:42,907
But actually, this time he was wrong.
670
00:33:42,910 --> 00:33:45,565
You see, all those days
that I spent sitting
671
00:33:45,568 --> 00:33:47,312
right here on this bench convinced
672
00:33:47,315 --> 00:33:49,097
you would walk out those doors,
673
00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:50,769
he said I was crazy.
674
00:33:50,772 --> 00:33:52,939
And here you are.
675
00:33:52,942 --> 00:33:55,636
I know that you must
have a lot of questions.
676
00:33:55,639 --> 00:33:57,397
I know why you left, Maddie.
677
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,456
Still not sure why you stayed away.
678
00:33:59,459 --> 00:34:01,326
Because I didn't think
I'd ever get better.
679
00:34:01,329 --> 00:34:04,163
And it didn't feel safe
to be around any of you.
680
00:34:04,165 --> 00:34:06,565
What happened with
Jee-Yun and the bathtub,
681
00:34:06,568 --> 00:34:07,597
that was an accident.
682
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,034
But trying to kill myself wasn't.
683
00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:15,860
You what?
684
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,145
When I dropped her off
at the firehouse I thought
685
00:34:19,148 --> 00:34:22,508
that's it, she's safe.
686
00:34:25,235 --> 00:34:30,164
So I drove up the
coast, I found a beach,
687
00:34:30,167 --> 00:34:32,751
and I walked into the ocean.
688
00:34:35,305 --> 00:34:37,322
My head was so full of all the mistakes
689
00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:39,197
I had made in my life,
and I just thought
690
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,584
everybody would be
better off without me.
691
00:34:42,416 --> 00:34:45,267
Sad at first, yeah.
692
00:34:45,270 --> 00:34:47,937
But that would fade.
693
00:34:47,940 --> 00:34:50,134
And Jee, she's so
young, she wouldn't even
694
00:34:50,136 --> 00:34:52,211
remember me as her mommy.
695
00:34:52,213 --> 00:34:54,555
How could you even think that?
696
00:34:58,323 --> 00:35:00,156
Maddie, if you died, I would never...
697
00:35:00,159 --> 00:35:01,892
Never forgive yourself.
698
00:35:05,674 --> 00:35:08,366
I got out of the ocean for you.
699
00:35:09,738 --> 00:35:11,720
For both of you.
700
00:35:13,142 --> 00:35:18,538
But I had to stay here
to learn to stop running.
701
00:35:19,597 --> 00:35:21,038
Maddie...
702
00:35:22,295 --> 00:35:24,628
I would have done anything to help you.
703
00:35:24,631 --> 00:35:28,580
I beat myself up every
day that I didn't do more.
704
00:35:28,583 --> 00:35:32,667
I'm so sorry for everything
that I put you through.
705
00:35:33,881 --> 00:35:36,548
I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you.
706
00:35:36,551 --> 00:35:39,811
- You were there.
- Not enough.
707
00:35:39,814 --> 00:35:42,741
I blame myself for you leaving,
708
00:35:42,744 --> 00:35:45,119
for missing the warning signs.
709
00:35:47,156 --> 00:35:49,415
Or maybe ignoring them.
710
00:35:51,197 --> 00:35:54,449
I just wanted so badly for
you to be okay, I just...
711
00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:59,186
I pretended that you were okay.
712
00:35:59,188 --> 00:36:02,373
I think I did, too, for a while.
713
00:36:12,201 --> 00:36:14,237
I guess we both spent too much time
714
00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,326
hiding from the truth, and I
don't want to do that anymore.
715
00:36:17,329 --> 00:36:20,180
Me either.
716
00:36:20,183 --> 00:36:22,083
No more pretending.
717
00:36:24,213 --> 00:36:27,769
From now on, let's just be
honest about how we feel,
718
00:36:27,772 --> 00:36:29,892
and what we want.
719
00:36:31,253 --> 00:36:32,820
Okay.
720
00:36:35,437 --> 00:36:37,038
What do you want?
721
00:36:39,901 --> 00:36:42,660
She should be awake from her nap soon.
722
00:36:43,590 --> 00:36:46,341
There she is.
723
00:36:46,344 --> 00:36:49,729
Look who's here, Jee-Yun. It's Mommy.
724
00:36:53,015 --> 00:36:54,833
She's so big.
725
00:36:54,836 --> 00:36:57,854
I swear to God, I've been
feeding her normal portions.
726
00:36:58,708 --> 00:37:00,483
You probably want to hold her.
727
00:37:00,486 --> 00:37:02,840
Uh, she never liked strangers.
728
00:37:02,843 --> 00:37:04,750
Maddie, you're not a stranger.
729
00:37:04,753 --> 00:37:07,644
I think I am.
730
00:37:07,647 --> 00:37:09,213
Maddie...
731
00:37:12,002 --> 00:37:15,761
She's grown up so much. I missed it.
732
00:37:15,764 --> 00:37:17,690
I missed all of it.
733
00:37:31,965 --> 00:37:34,632
So you figure out what's next?
734
00:37:34,634 --> 00:37:36,283
I mean, back to L.A.,
735
00:37:36,285 --> 00:37:38,694
or should I be getting
you a job application?
736
00:37:38,696 --> 00:37:40,212
I don't know.
737
00:37:40,214 --> 00:37:42,306
It didn't feel right
asking her about the future
738
00:37:42,308 --> 00:37:44,344
when she was so clearly
mourning the past.
739
00:37:44,347 --> 00:37:47,203
Not the glorious reunion
you'd been dreaming of, huh?
740
00:37:47,205 --> 00:37:49,313
I never really thought that far.
741
00:37:49,315 --> 00:37:52,667
I mean, I imagined finding
her a million times, you know?
742
00:37:52,670 --> 00:37:55,912
I'd see her, she'd see me.
743
00:37:55,915 --> 00:37:58,582
Movie always ended right there.
744
00:37:58,585 --> 00:38:00,065
They live happily ever after.
745
00:38:00,067 --> 00:38:02,476
Yeah.
746
00:38:02,478 --> 00:38:04,645
Kind of wishing the end credit sequence
747
00:38:04,647 --> 00:38:06,247
was less of a bummer.
748
00:38:09,534 --> 00:38:12,384
You know, I was really mad at her
749
00:38:12,387 --> 00:38:14,496
for not being there.
750
00:38:14,499 --> 00:38:18,066
But tonight was the first
time I realize what leaving
751
00:38:18,069 --> 00:38:20,386
actually cost her.
752
00:38:21,872 --> 00:38:24,114
You know,
753
00:38:24,117 --> 00:38:26,575
after we had our girls,
754
00:38:26,577 --> 00:38:28,744
Molly wanted to stay home with them,
755
00:38:28,746 --> 00:38:31,189
so I went back to work.
756
00:38:32,266 --> 00:38:34,781
And every time I left, I
always said the same thing:
757
00:38:34,784 --> 00:38:37,086
"I love you. I'll call you later.
758
00:38:37,088 --> 00:38:39,530
Don't let 'em do anything
cool while I'm gone."
759
00:38:41,740 --> 00:38:43,683
Maybe if I'd just found her earlier.
760
00:38:43,686 --> 00:38:45,641
You did everything you could, Howie.
761
00:38:45,644 --> 00:38:47,763
All right, no matter
what else you're feeling,
762
00:38:47,765 --> 00:38:48,931
know that.
763
00:38:48,933 --> 00:38:50,886
I just wanted to fix her, you know?
764
00:38:50,889 --> 00:38:52,463
Just make it all okay.
765
00:38:52,466 --> 00:38:54,994
Even though you know fixing
her isn't your responsibility?
766
00:38:54,997 --> 00:38:56,697
Yeah.
767
00:38:56,699 --> 00:38:58,883
Why do I always do that?
768
00:38:58,885 --> 00:39:01,126
It's how you're wired.
769
00:39:01,128 --> 00:39:03,221
Helping people is how you help yourself.
770
00:39:03,223 --> 00:39:04,947
And because you love her.
771
00:39:10,137 --> 00:39:14,548
I knew I had missed a lot,
and it's been six months,
772
00:39:14,550 --> 00:39:15,716
but seeing her...
773
00:39:15,718 --> 00:39:17,476
Made it real?
774
00:39:17,478 --> 00:39:19,219
Too real.
775
00:39:20,696 --> 00:39:23,530
I just wasn't prepared for
how much it was gonna hurt.
776
00:39:23,533 --> 00:39:27,961
I mean, looking at her, I saw
every milestone I've missed.
777
00:39:27,964 --> 00:39:30,990
But that doesn't mean that
you can't be there for...
778
00:39:30,992 --> 00:39:33,167
all the other ones.
779
00:39:34,829 --> 00:39:36,103
What about you?
780
00:39:36,105 --> 00:39:38,572
Did you talk to your social worker?
781
00:39:40,093 --> 00:39:42,093
Yeah.
782
00:39:42,095 --> 00:39:44,653
Um, I have to go back to detox,
783
00:39:44,655 --> 00:39:46,362
then...
784
00:39:46,365 --> 00:39:49,841
another 60 days outpatient.
785
00:39:49,844 --> 00:39:51,560
And are you gonna do it?
786
00:39:52,731 --> 00:39:55,749
If I want to see my son.
787
00:39:55,752 --> 00:39:57,969
Yeah. I have to.
788
00:39:59,854 --> 00:40:04,356
Thank you for saving my life.
789
00:40:04,358 --> 00:40:07,009
I don't remember everything I said,
790
00:40:07,011 --> 00:40:09,603
but, um, I know how I can get.
791
00:40:09,605 --> 00:40:11,864
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
792
00:40:11,866 --> 00:40:13,365
You were hurting.
793
00:40:13,367 --> 00:40:15,960
We're not always our best
selves when that happens.
794
00:40:15,962 --> 00:40:17,870
I'm really glad you're okay.
795
00:40:17,872 --> 00:40:19,797
Well, not yet.
796
00:40:19,799 --> 00:40:22,115
But I'm gonna keep trying.
797
00:40:22,117 --> 00:40:25,027
I have to.
798
00:40:25,029 --> 00:40:29,401
Not just for me, but for Robbie.
799
00:40:34,872 --> 00:40:37,064
Was I gone too long?
800
00:40:39,134 --> 00:40:41,727
I can't get back the time I lost.
801
00:40:41,729 --> 00:40:43,821
No.
802
00:40:43,823 --> 00:40:46,824
But you can move forward.
803
00:40:46,826 --> 00:40:49,643
And the only way to do
that is to forgive yourself.
804
00:40:49,645 --> 00:40:51,070
And, Maddie,
805
00:40:51,072 --> 00:40:54,907
don't be afraid...
806
00:40:54,909 --> 00:40:58,085
to fight for what you want.
807
00:41:07,405 --> 00:41:08,587
- Hey.
- Hey.
808
00:41:08,589 --> 00:41:10,205
Aww, how's my girl today?
809
00:41:12,927 --> 00:41:15,186
I promise it's not you.
810
00:41:15,188 --> 00:41:17,604
We walked by a park on the way here,
811
00:41:17,607 --> 00:41:20,016
and she got very angry when
I said it wasn't playtime.
812
00:41:20,019 --> 00:41:23,361
Oh, that's okay, we can
go to a park. That's fine.
813
00:41:23,363 --> 00:41:25,345
Uh, I think we should
wait at least an hour.
814
00:41:25,347 --> 00:41:26,922
I don't want to make it look like
815
00:41:26,924 --> 00:41:28,734
I caved in to a tantrum, you know.
816
00:41:28,737 --> 00:41:31,927
Right. Oh, right, she's old
enough to have those now.
817
00:41:31,929 --> 00:41:35,359
Oh... come on, Jee-Yun.
818
00:41:35,362 --> 00:41:36,750
Don't you want to say hi?
819
00:41:40,017 --> 00:41:42,000
Come on, Jee-Yun.
820
00:41:42,003 --> 00:41:44,865
Don't you want to say hi to Mommy? Hmm?
821
00:41:47,220 --> 00:41:49,294
I'm not gonna lie,
this might be worse than
822
00:41:49,296 --> 00:41:51,780
going through colic all over again.
823
00:41:51,782 --> 00:41:53,282
Can I try something?
824
00:41:53,284 --> 00:41:57,144
Be my guest, but don't be
offended if it doesn't work.
825
00:42:10,134 --> 00:42:12,468
You like that?
826
00:42:17,490 --> 00:42:19,857
Mama.
827
00:42:19,860 --> 00:42:21,289
Did she just...
828
00:42:21,292 --> 00:42:23,581
She recognized your voice.
829
00:42:23,584 --> 00:42:25,314
How does she remember me?
830
00:42:25,316 --> 00:42:27,166
Of course she remembers you.
831
00:42:27,168 --> 00:42:29,151
Six months, six years.
832
00:42:29,153 --> 00:42:31,262
Neither of us could ever forget you.
833
00:42:32,413 --> 00:42:35,173
Okay.
834
00:42:35,176 --> 00:42:37,560
So, what do you want to do now?
835
00:42:39,163 --> 00:42:41,272
I want to go home.
836
00:42:44,927 --> 00:42:48,470
- Okay.
- Okay.
837
00:42:48,472 --> 00:42:49,838
Hi. Hi.
838
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,174
- Go home with us, Baby Jee?
- Want to do it again?
839
00:42:56,104 --> 00:42:57,288
Whoo!
840
00:43:02,677 --> 00:43:06,070
Each year, for every one
person that dies by suicide,
841
00:43:06,073 --> 00:43:09,516
316 others consider
taking their own life
842
00:43:09,519 --> 00:43:11,026
but do not go through with it.
843
00:43:11,028 --> 00:43:12,820
If you or someone you care about
844
00:43:12,823 --> 00:43:15,601
is contemplating suicide,
help is available.
845
00:43:15,604 --> 00:43:18,461
Call the National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline at:
846
00:43:18,464 --> 00:43:21,836
1-800-273-8255.
847
00:43:21,839 --> 00:43:24,853
Or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
848
00:43:24,856 --> 00:43:28,633
The Lifeline is available
24/7 across the United States.
849
00:43:28,636 --> 00:43:30,720
It is free and confidential.
850
00:43:30,723 --> 00:43:33,281
There is hope. There is help.
851
00:43:33,284 --> 00:43:35,284
And you are not alone.
60565
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.