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Following the assassination of Caesar, who was suspected of planning...

...to declare himself king and emperor,

The government of Rome, trying to save...

...the Republic, was taken over by a triumvirate.

It was made up of Octavian, Lepidus and Mark Anthony.

The latter, a valiant general, was given control of the Eastern lands,

The richest ones, and the most difficult to govern.

Immediately, he set off with his powerful army.

He subdued, and conscientiously stripped, every country that he passed though.

And in order to save the Republic, he seemed to be destined...

...to become king and emperor himself.

Except that, in the lands of the East, was Egypt.

And when the great general, a soldier in one piece, was at the gates of Alexandria...

Hail.

Hail Enobarbus, so then. Where is Cleopatra, isn't she with you?

Listen to me Anthony, Cleopatra didn't want to come.

She didn't want to come, and you tell me so just like that,

you should have dragged her here by force, those are my orders.

Yes Anthony, but listen

I wont listen to anything... is that clear. There is no pity for the enemies of Rome,

we came down here to bring order and justice, and that Cleopatra dare.

But I beg you to curb your anger.

I don't want to curb myself.

But listen to me I beg you. It's not the way you think.

Cleopatra said that a meeting with you in the field among...

...the hay for the horses and the bivouac left-overs wouldn't...

...be worthy of your lofty rank. She wishes to receive you,

poor little thing, in her royal palace, with all the honors...

...due to a man like you.

She has prepared great festivities for you.

She has gone to the temple for a propitiatory rite.

Oh... Anthony... Anthony... if you had seen what she was...

...what she was on those cushions... beautiful in clouds of perfume...

...she was dressed like Venus...

Listen to him... just listen to him... You're getting childish in your old age.

I understand, she's bewitched you too, see how stupid you are, she was...

...dressed like Venus, Venus didn't go around dressed, she went...

...around in the nude....

That's right.

Let's go right away.

Hail.

The protector, the liberator of the East, the triumvir of Rome, Mark Anthony.

Well, you said that they would receive me with the honors due to my dignity,

that Cleopatra was waiting for me with open arms, and instead...

...there's no-one here... Huh?.

I don't understand...

You never understand anything. Who does this Cleopatra think she is,

now I'm going to show her who Mark Anthony is... Praetorians.

Calm down Anthony... calm down... in the East the queen is a Goddess,

you could start a riot...

Let them riot... Praetorians... search the palace from top to bottom,

dig out Cleopatra, and drag her to my feet dead or alive.

Divine Anthony

Most noble among men, I beg you, calm your wrath,

the queen Cleopatra is at your feet.

And are you supposed to be the queen Cleopatra, stop kiddin boy,

it's true that Caesar had some pretty strange tastes...

But I know this isn't the case...

I am Apollodorus, humble counselor to her majesty the Queen.

Ah, so you're the humble counselor to the Queen? Well then, go to her...

...and counsel her to come here right away, or else...

What happened... Did you put out the light?

Not me

Who did it?

But... What's going on now...

It must be her, the Queen.

I see an ostrich...

Hey, they're not having the carnival of Viareggio, no? Huh?

Noble Anthony, the lady of upper and lower Egypt,

the daughter of the sun and of the moon salutes you,

why don't you come closer.

You are only Egypt, Oh seductive daughter of the sun...

...and of the moon and I represent Rome and therefor the world, I should...

...move towards you. Know, oh Cleopatra that I have already...

...conceded a lot to you by bringing the weight of my glory...

...and my power this far.

Pardon your humble slave, Anthony... I was only thinking that Rome and...

...the world would also have been more comfortable seated than standing up,

that glory and power shine just as well on a sofa.

Just as a jewel shines better in a precious case than when left on the floor.

How well she speaks...

Cleopatra... listen, Rome standing sitting or in any position it...

...feels like being in, accuses you.

I, Mark Anthony, in name of great Rome,

have come to oppose you and I do oppose you.

Darn, how good this one is. Now what will I oppose her...

Tell me, oh Cleopatra, I have been told that you go around dressed like Venus,

But I think that you are even over-dressed to be a Venus.

Is it a question of censorship?

Ah, noble Anthony, if you only knew how much Venus would have liked to...

...meet her Dionysus, as you are called.

Who is this Dionysus, by Bacchus.

But Anthony, I know that to other people more fortunate than us, you,

Anthony, have appeared in the vestments of the god of joy and of rapture,

dressed only in a grape vine.

Well... to tell the truth, dressed only in a grape vine I look...

...pretty good... it depends on one's build. I'm a tree trunk.

And to me instead, you have appeared as an enemy.

Now, let's not exaggerate... thank you,

I really shouldn't accept, but good manners...

...force me to accept... thank you anyhow... anyhow... prosit...

Don't drink.. Carmiana... You drink...

What is it? By Bacchus.. What's going on.

Understand? She would have done me in.

On the contrary, to prove to you that I am a friend.

Oh yes?

You can drink. I know, I know that in Rome they say that I took advantage...

...of Caesar, how can they say such a thing, I have always been wronged,

I have been denied whole provinces, for example Cyprus.

Cyprus?

Yes, it's an island.

Excuse me, I'm a little dumb in geography, where is this Cyprus?

Here.

Not really

In my heart

Really?

Listen, listen how it beats just to hear the name Cyprus.

Ah. Land of my ancestors, only for dreams and for love.

And Rome took it away from me.

What is it, what were you saying, excuse me...

Phoenicia also.

Phoenicia? - Yes

Another island?

No, a luxuriously flowery region.

And where is it?

A little further down from Cyprus.

Really? - Yes.

But look where this one has provinces...

Going south towards Judea and Judea also... ah...

...how many lands, how many lands...

Phoenicia, some parts of Judea already under the dominion or...

...the protection of Rome, given to Cleopatra,

the last descendent of the abominable

Ptolemaic dynasty. This, dear senators, is the work of the triumvir Mark Anthony.

Maybe no-one knows that while the people are suffering he is...

...growing soft among comforts and riches.

And I guarantee that whoever has seen him describes him...

...as completely unrecognizable.

I say that we should nationalize.

Who do you want to nationalize?

Honorable colleagues, be calm, let's talk about Anthony.

Yes, let's talk about Anthony.

The triumvir Octavian speaks

Unfortunately, very recent news direct from Alexandria confirm that...

...everything that is being said about Anthony, is true, as a matter of fact...

...there's more and worse. Following certain skirmishes on the boarders,

he decreed a triumph for himself alone in Alexandria.

He has fought and he has won. It's only right that he triumphs.

But the triumphs were always held in the capital of the empire.

Since when is the capital Alexandria.

The capital is Rome.

No, if Anthony wants to triumph, I propose that the senate decrees...

...that the triumph be held in Rome. That way, everything will be in good order.

We'll draw him to Rome with some honey. Better, with a double dose of honey.

Because I have decided to give Anthony my sister Octavia as a bride,

you'll have to admit that my sister Octavia...

...has every argument to make him forget Cleopatra...

I put my proposal to a vote. And I beg you to decide quickly.

Night is falling and my legionnaires...

...who are waiting for me outside may be cold,

I wouldn't want to be forced to make them come in here.

I'm very fussy about their health.

Octavian's proposal seems excellent to me.

Perfect, sublime. Hurray for Octavian.

Those in favor raise their hands. Octavian's proposal...

...has been unanimously approved.

I swear I don't understand you.

It's well to establish the fact that the heads of the triumvirs are not...

...to be touched. Remember that yours is also a triumvir's head.

But Fulvia?. Anthony's wife...

It will be easy to convince her.

That one... with the character she's got.

My beloved has abandoned me... I hope they kill him,

I hope he drowns in the Nile when he's drunk...

...and that a crocodile eats him up... Here, pussy, here,

some of Anthony's flesh...

Mistress, mistress the triumvirs Octavian...

...and Lepidus ask to be received...

All right... let them come in... let them come in...

...let them come right in.

Hail Fulvia.

Hail.

Hail, nuts. I know everything. Nice conversations in the senate...

Nice proposals... I would really like to know what Scribonia...

...your wife thinks of all this

Scribonia is no longer my wife, I repudiated her to marry Drusilla.

Then you're all the same, then from now on instead of saying...

...filthy pig it's enough to say triumvir.

Fulvia please... try to understand ...politics...

Ah. You call it politics, do you... Well, look, seeing...

...how things are I consider myself a widow.

See that you look at things my way after all... if you consider yourself...

...a widow, it means that you have under- stood that by now for you Anthony is...

No, I consider myself a widow because the minute I get my hands...

...on him I'll kill him.

And what will you have gained by that?

Nothing, I'll get a little meal for my pussy-cat

And I'll join in that meal gladly

Ah. No Publia, you at least should have some sense.

I don't like Anthony.

But don't you think that it would be better for your daughter to be...

...legally repudiated, for my sister Octavia, with alimony than to be abandoned...

...for Cleopatra without a red cent.

Don't you think of your country? Your country it asking a sacrifice of you...

It will repay you.

It's the country who pays.

People...'bye, bye'...to everyone... I'm hailing you, no?

But why do you stamp your feet on the ground so, you vulgarian,

you see that you hurt yourself, you said ouch. You awful soldier you.

Abandon yourself to the sweetness of this music, to the perfume of vice,

of lasciviousness, of orgies... Cleo... bye bye... comment allez-vous?

Uhh. What an intoxicating smell of bacchanal.

A modest bacchanal Egyptian style in your honor, my adored Anthony.

Always bacchanal Egyptian style, they never have a little bit...

...of a bacchanal alla livornese... this one's good...

Enjoy life because someday soon you too will be like this.

Go drop dead. Listen Cleo, listen when you invite people...

...to enjoy themselves, can't you have happier discussions... I mean...

Maybe you would like the head of...

...an enemy of yours? Octavian's for example?

Don't say such foolish things... I'm not afraid of Octavian.

As far as I'm concerned Octavian is still a baby, a chick in waddling clothes,

a beardless little triumvir... Is that clear? What do I care about what he says or...

...what he thinks. Come to your Mark Anthony.

Ouch. Darn it. And who could it be... him. Caesarion, son of Caesar, Come here.

Forgive him, Anthony, he's a little boy, a little imp, a little lively...

Ah. Yes, he's a lively little imp? So he hit me in the back with this cup?

But Cleo, if he wasn't your son...

How delicate you are, so what is it... How come, a warrior like you, a little thing...

...like this. You're certainly not going to say that I hurt you?

It's not a question of being hurt, it's a question of respect.

My position.

It was exactly the right position.

Listen to how impertinent this boy is, how dare he hit the noble backside of a triumvir.

Is that noble too?

That's understood, extremely noble... when they make a person a triumvir,

he's a triumvir all over, from his head to his feet,

Top, bottom, back and front, is that clear?

You were made noble, I'm the son a a queen,

therefore I'm noble from birth,

and I can do anything I like to a triumvir like you,

I can even ride you horseback...

Cleopatra, listen to your son? He wants to ride Mark Anthony...

...horseback... Have we gone crazy?

Listen, you had better stop it or I'll send you to Octavian in Rome...

...and he'll eat you up alive... and if you don't stop acting like...

...a delinquent I'll give you a spanking.

Mama, Mama he hit me.

Who hit you? - You. - I

You're a liar.

He's a brute, he's a brute.

Calm down, calm down.

I'm afraid, I'm going to sleep near you tonight

There, you see? Promise that tonight I'll sleep in your room

But Caesarion, at your age. To still sleep with your Mama,

You're not a baby any more.

Your mother's right. You're not a baby any more.

And he's not a baby either.

What are you saying Caesarion?

All right I wont say any more, but now you'll make me a general.

Ah. We're back to this story again. I've told you no a thousand times.

And it's no.

Well, you said no because I was a baby,

but now you said that I'm not a baby any more.

Anto' you'd better make up your mind, huh. If I'm a baby I'll throw things at you...

...and sleep with Mama, if instead I'm not a baby any more, you decide... Good-night.

Listen Cleo, we've got to get the bugs out of your little imp's head, because

I'm not making him a general... I won't... I won't

Well then, what'll we do?

What'll we do? Meanwhile stand at attention.

Ah kid, I'm as much of a general as you are.

I could have you made corporal any time I like. Understand?

At your command

Let's attack what?

The enemy. Right?

But what enemy? We're not at war, we're at peace, thank Jove

There, you see that you're not a general. Go look for any enemy and have him lose.

Hey, wait. There he is.

But those are Romans.

So what, don't tell me this would be the first time that Romans fought Romans.

Legionnaires, I'm offering one hundred sestertii, if you bring me those there.

Hey. I offer one hundred sesterti per head. Give it to him... go on... crush them...

...attack them... murder them...

Oh, I'm a senator, I'm an amasador from Rome... Be good.

Calm down. You've gone crazy.

What pain, how it hurts.

It hurts a lot?

A lot

Ah, poor Naso, poor Naso, what can you...

...do about it? You have to be patient, you have...

...to pity him and forgive him, he's a little imp...

...who's a bit lively, an exuberant little boy,

but on the other hand we mustn't forget that...

...he's Caesar's son, and therefor leadership...

...and war are in this boy's blood, they're in his blood.

And you, my noble Mark Anthony, you even justify that son of a...

Ahhh. You awful tongued Roman. Son of Caesar, you have to say.

Maybe. Certainly listening to you and seeing...

...you decked out like that, one would think...

...that your slanderers in Rome are right.

Ah, they're slandering me? And what are they saying,

let me hear what they are saying

They say... they say that the third support of the world has become...

...the laughing stock of a gypsy woman.

Those Romans have to stop that.

Ah, believe me Anthony, it wasn't easy for me...

...to plead your cause in the senate against...

...everyone, you had everyone against you, Octavian for the first.

And that's why I haven't decided yet to go back to Rome. I wouldn't want...

...them to receive me in the senate the way they received poor Caesar...

...remember? What a lot of flapping around.

Don't worry, you'll be received in triumph, and then what better...

...guarantee than the fact that Octavian is offering his sister to you as a bride.

And there's the catch.

You wouldn't want to give up your triumph in Rome.

No, no I like the idea of the triumph, I'll go, triumph and come back,

it won't take me long, I'll rush over...

...and come back more powerful than before...

...and I think that Cleo will also agree with me on this.

Cleo? Who's Cleo?

What do you mean, who's Cleo? Cleopatra.

And you call her Cleo?

It's a pet name, what can you do, we're in a refined court,

we're not in the suburbs.

I've noticed that. Well, Anthony, whether Cleo likes it or not,

you absolutely must come to Rome, and marry Octavia, otherwise what...

...must I do? Go back all alone and say that you don't give a damn about...

...the senate or Octavian or his sister.

Noble patricians, I have an idea, we'll only tell Cleopatra...

...that bit about the triumph, huh?

But that's not possible, the marriage with Octavia has a political value,

the whole world most know about it.

Just a minute, listen Anthony, come here, I'm with you as far as the triumph...

...is concerned, but not the marriage. Also because I think that Anthony...

...shouldn't leave Cleopatra's beauty for just anyone like Octavia,

and then I think that you don't like her... Isn't it true that...

...you don't like Octavia, Anthony?

No, no on the contrary, I like Octavia. As a matter of fact, let me tell you...

...that I was spooning over her for a year.

What did you do for a year?

I was spooning

Ah, you were spooning for a year.

Octavia is young... fresh, Nobarbus, I'II eat Octavia up.

I didn't understand, what? - I'll eat Octavia up.

You'll do what? - Are you deaf or what? I'll eat Octavia up.

Ah, you'll eat her up.

Now who's going to tell her? - Ah, not me.

And you're so afraid of a woman. I'll talk to the queen.

Am I or am I not the ambassador from Rome.

Bravo Naso, that's right. There is no penalty for the bearer...

...of bad news... I'll go with you... Let's go.

Wait 'till you see what a greeting you'll get from Cleopatra, Naso.

She is a very refined lady, gentle, tactful full of grace.

After all, she's a queen...

Cleo? - What is it?

A friend ambassador has to talk to you.

But let him come in, I am glad and happy to receive him...

You hear? She'll be happy to meet you. Go...

Are you coming too? - I'll come later, go... go then...

The amphora - the mirror - - the brush - the big vase...

...the little vase - the Etruscan vase - the Pompeian vase - the water vase...

...the day vase - the chamber pot is missing...

There it is.

Bravo Naso. Now that Cleopatra has used up all the lances, I'II go in.

Were shall I put it?

In the dust bin... My treasure...

And now go to Rome... like this.

Darn it, I forgot the fish bowl...

I'mmm... I'm drowning... a fish in my mouth...

You understand that Egyptian cow.

She lets him come here, she acts so properly,

thinking that the more important Anthony...

...becomes the more there will be for her to snatch.

But I'm going to play a nice trick on her and him and that other dirty pig, Octavian...

Fulvia. We gave Octavian our word, I wouldn't...

...want to break it, I hope, think also...

...of your own best interests.

We wont lose a sestertius. Everything will be proper. You remember Totonno?

That half-brother of Anthony's who is living in exile in Capua?

Who, that bum?

We have to go right away and find him and bring him here.

It won't be hard to convince him.

You know that he is forbidden to enter Rome.

Because of that face, right?

But don't you understand that that's exactly what we need.

Hear me, hear me, hear me... come on, come on, this way sirs... we have...

...girl slaves, little girl slaves and big girl slaves, samples, highest quality...

...merchandise, wholesale or retail... Ah... oh... could you make the jaguar?

I wish I could.

Hey you, listen here

Look... at this

But... you hear the noise it makes?

Of course, it hasn't moved for a month, give it a little grease job...

...and you'll see that it goes very well.

I hope so, I'll try.

Boy, he expects an awful lot.

Manager, manager. - What is it?

You remember, a few days ago I bought this one here, Flavia.

So, You're not going to tell me that you haven't been satisfied with Flavia, I hope?

Not satisfied? Very unsatisfied, as soon as I touch her,

she goes around in circles and hits me on the head.

How's that, let me see

Look...

I felt it.

No, it's I who felt it. You have to take this one back, I don't want it...

...any more. You understand, I don't want it any more?

Young man, take it easy, don't get fresh, understand, once the merchandise leaves...

...the store we don't accept any complaints.

There he is, thief, scoundrel, swindler.

Hey, hey, young man, so what is it? These, what are they?

Why, aren't you a thief, a swindler, a robber, wasn't it you who sold me...

...these very strong gladiators?

And so, aren't they very strong gladiators?

But I wanted Thracians.

That's right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, instead of giving you

Thracian slaves I gave you five Phrygians,

however you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth,

you're lucky. - How come?

Phrygians are going like hotcakes, in Rome they fight over them.

But I don't give a darn about that, you tricked me and so if you have...

...anything to say in your defense you'II explain it in court. Let's go.

Let go of me, let go of me, you don't know who I am,

I've got relatives in high places, you know.

Instead, we know very well who you are, this isn't your first swindle,

we've had an eye on you for a long time.

If you've had an eye on me, that means you haven't been seeing straight,

I can't leave the store, I've got the slaves in there...

Yes, take him away, he swindled me too, go on, and if I you want a witness...

...in court, I'll come. Thief, swindler.

Let go, let go of that man, I am the wife of the triumvir Mark Anthony,

I hope you recognize me. I come on my husband's behalf.

Fulvia, my beautiful sister-in-law, you're as welcome as cheese on macaroni.

I told you I had relatives in high places.

So then, pay.

Here, I hope it's enough.

Beggar.

I have to inform you that this little guy has other troubles in these parts.

All right, hail.

I'II take the responsibility for him.

And I'll take the responsibility for her.

My beautiful awful sister-in-law how can I repay you,

do you want a slave at half price? Do you want a nice gladiator who does everything,

he's a slave, better a big slave very suitable for your mother.

Oh what are you saying, Totonno? - For your sister? - No.

We want you.

We want you to come to Rome with us right away.

Oh no? To Rome? To Rome? Ah, ah, do you think I'm crazy.

Watch out, I can give you back to the guards and I can tell them...

...about a few other talents of yours.

Hail Octavian.

Hail. Where's Anthony? Don't tell me that he's changed his mind that...

Rome says to Naso, bring Mark Anthony, and Naso brings Mark Anthony,

and I won't mention the pain.

Mark Anthony's? - No, mine. - But where?

It's gone, I was all black and blue.

But no Mark Anthony.

Ah, his wife's got him, she was waiting for him at the gate...

...in front of her villa in Tuscolo.

She blocked the way.

Ah, is it possible... that Fulvia's playing a double game.

But, my treasure, you don't have to make excuses, I understand only...

...too well what the political demands of your new position are.

Wise Fulvia, wise, I'm happy to see that you are beginning to understand...

...what it means to be a triumvir.

Ah, of course I do, you are a perfect trio, I said so to Octavian too.

Really?

And instead, what can I say, I have remained the simple woman I used to be.

That's bad, that's bad, wife of mine, one has to keep up with the times,

I say keep up with the times, time flies.

And I instead, have remained still; and then, how would I look beside you,

so refined, at times even a little too much.

Listen, I've thought it over, I don't feel like being a substitute for

Mark Anthony, and then I see that every once in a while he has those motions.

Listen, you have any choice, remember that you're in Rome in spite of the ban,

therefore it's either death or the place of the divine Mark Anthony.

Ah no, tonight you dine with me, I've made you some lamb alla gladiator.

Oh, how vulgar... how disgusting lamb is.

Don't you like it any more? It used to be your favorite dish.

Now Fulvia will give him a sleeping potion and as soon...

...as he's asleep you go... you present yourself to Octavian.

And I say to him, Good day, Octavian, I'm Mark Anthony ha... ha.

There's some caviar, some champagne?

No, But have a good glass of wine from the castles, it will give you a lift.

You think so?

Of course.

You find me a little down.

Ah... to your triumphs, to your loves.

Cin, cin... - Cin, cin...

Dear colleague, hail.

Look who's here.

Darn him, now he's going to ruin everything.

What is he, a policeman?

Dearest Otto, how are you?

Otto? That's the diminutive of Octavian, I could also call you little Octavian,

but it's not appropriate.

Octavian?

Are you crazy?

I am very pleased, you know, I see you're in good shape.

Ah thank you, but you are also.

Ah yes, in all modesty I get by, I've gotten by up to now, and I'll get by yet...

But come and drink something with us.

Thank you.

Oh how clumsy.

It's good luck, it's good luck.

I'm sorry.

Cin, cin. - Cin, cin.

We have to make Mark Anthony disappear.

Shall we kill him?

Well... - Let's kill him. - Well... I'd kill him.

Hide.

Anthony, the two of us together will...

...make Rome bigger than Caesar ever made it.

Let's go.

But what is this, are you going just like that without even eating a bite.

What bite is more satisfying than a triumph

Fulvia my country calls me. A last goodbye without any rancor.

Wait, wait, wait just a second, it may be the last time I see you.

I can't.

All right, all right, without any rancor.

Goodbye, let's go.

But are you going just like that without even saying goodbye to mama.

Oh yes, that's right, how stupid of me,

excuse me Octavian I'll go, say goodbye and be right back.

Of course.

Mummy... mummy... little mom... mummy where are you hiding, where are you?

Oh mother. What a blow. Ah... ah.

Well then, Anthony.

Where is he.

What do you mean where is he?

Anthony.

What, what is it?

What happened to you.

To me, nothing's happened to me.

How was mother, dear?

Fine, fine, powerful, poo... longo...

What do you mean longo?

It's longo. Lo... longo. - No. I mean longo.

It is. - What does longo mean?

Who is Longo?

No you said long.

Ah longo, lo... Longo, he's a friend of mine.

His name is Longo.

Shall we go then.

Where are we going?

To the triumph.

Are we going to walk there? - We have a chariot.

We have a chariot. Then long live the chariot. Ah... - Iets go.

Goodbye Anthony.

I'll be seeing you.

Honored gentlemen, colleagues, valiant Mark Anthony has returned to us.

Hail Mark Anthony.

Good day to everyone.

Hail Anthony, the people of Rome cry hosanna.

Really? - Yes.

In Rome they know?

Hosanna, hosanna, and they acclaim you.

In you we salute a hero, in the hope that you will be able to enslave...

...many countries, enslave their people and even enslave their rulers.

If it's for enslaving you're inviting me to a wedding, that is my profession.

But tell me, is it true that they know in Rome.

They know. - They know all?

In Rome. - And?

In Rome they always know all.

They know all? - AII.

The minute you do something, the word gets...

...around, as a matter of fact

I knew a girl that... well, I'll tell you about it later...

Mark Anthony will you bring us Cleopatra as a slave?

And who is he? What does he want

No, no, he doesn't want anything it's Rome who wants it.

It's Rome who wants the Ptolemaic queen as slave.

Ptolemaic? - Yes.

Pia de' Tolomei? - Not Pia. Thing... That one...

The Two Sergeants? - No, not The Two Sergeants, no.

The Blind Girl of Sorrento? - Not the Blind Girl of Sorrento.

I've got it, the woman who delivers the bread. - No, the Ptolemaic queen.

Ah no, I've not read that one. I read a lot of Salgari, I enjoy him a lot.

Anthony, let's not exaggerate, are you trying to make us believe...

...that now you don't remember Cleopatra any more, huh?

Ah but are you talking about Cleopatra?

That's right, what's the matter, don't you remember her?

Ah, yes it's a friendship of mine

And you tell it to our faces that she's a friend of yours.

Well, not really a friend, but well, she's a 'girl friend'.

I met her in Rome, in the night Club, Roma Night.

What are you talking about?

Octavian, don't pay any attention to him, everyone talks like that in Egypt.

But she has to be his enemy.

Gentlemen, no more arguments, let's drop these discussions.

Cleopatra must be forgotten on this day of joy.

Now this really is man talk.

Let's forget about Cleopatra and think about Joy.

Who's Joy?

Who's Joy?

I don't know, who is Joy?

You said 'on this day of Joy'...

I said on this day of joy...

Who? - Joy.

But you're really stubborn. - Octavian, your sister

Here is Octavia.

She's better than Joy.

You still find her beautiful - Ah, I should think so...

Go, meet your bride... - Shall I go? - Go.

I'll go like a flash. - Of course.

Watch out because I'm violent... - Don't be afraid.

I'll be violent with her. - Go.

I'II tell you about it after, huh? - Go.

My valiant and sweet bridegroom.

Good day. My respects. I pay my respects.

Boy this is some dish of a wife.

I am glad and happy to give my hand to noble Mark Anthony.

Mark Anthony and Mark Anthony of Egypt nothing.

There's no Mark Anthony here.

What do you mean Anthony?

What do you mean Anthony? There's no Mark Anthony?

He isn't here? Mark Anthony isn't here?

And and and and... who am I? Aren't I Mark Anthony maybe.

And what a hunk of Mark Anthony I am.

I am glad that you are no longer the Mark Anthony of Egypt.

See? I was right.

The change in you warms our hearts. These are the words...

...we wanted to hear from you. But can we be sure?

What do you mean? He offends me, why maybe I'm a liar? How dare he.

But I, but I would like to give him a beating, I'm nervous

Ah, is that the way Anthony speaks to the Triumvir Lepidus?

What? Is he a triumvir too? - Well... yes.

Let me see your papers. - What papers?

Show me your identity card.

But, what? The identity and ddindinde... watch out, you haven't...

...joined up against me, have you? Bride-to-be Octavia?

What? - Bride-to-be Octavia.

And you don't say anything?

Of course not, it's not an insult... don't get excited.

He calls her bride-to-be... and you don't react...

It's nothing. - Anthony, Anthony calm down.

You're right, I've got my armor on...

Calm down.

If I didn't have my armor on I'd make a slaughterhouse here, a slaughter house.

Calm down, calm down, please.

If I didn't tremble, but I tremble... bride-to-be, but are you a bride-to-be...

Oh no.

And what does bride-to-be mean? - I don't know.

As soon as I find out, and someone tells me what bride-to-be means

I'll make a slaughter house.

Stay with Octavia. - Bride-to-be.

Don't compromise yourself, I'm with you. Now that we have

Anthony in our hands it'll be easy for us to get rid of him and...

...then we two will be the rulers of the world.

Yes.

Dear Anthony, I understand that you were joking, Here's my hand...

Your permission Octavia?

Of course. - Excuse me, huh?

What is it?

Don't trust Octavian, ally yourself with me.

If we join forces it'll be easy to get rid of him... and then...

...we two will be the rulers of the world.

Really? Is that the custom among triumvirs?

You know very well that there is no room for three in the government of Rome.

There's no room for three... So then let's do this,

two will sit and one will remain standing

Oh no... to win two aces are enough...

First... - The ace of clubs.

Then the ace of hearts. - No two aces of strength.

Understood?

Then you and I are aces? - I understand.

All right, I'm coming right away. Excuse me Octavia, huh?

I'II be right back, Listen to me: I don't like that one.

But don't worry about him, anyhow we're going to get rid of him.

Really? - Ally yourself with me and we two together...

Will be the rulers of the world. - That's right.

The people of Rome. The Italian newspaper, the Messaggero.

The people of Rome cry hosanna.

And if the newspaper men know it, brother we're stuck.

We'll all wind up on the blotter.

Anthony, the people want you on the balcony.

Now let's not start that balcony business, balconies are bad luck.

No dear... go triumph... and then come back to me,

I'll wait for you in my villa.

I'll go, triumph and come right back. What'll it take me?

Ajiffy. That's right, let's go towards the people.

But is it really necessary to go towards the people?

Why don't we skip the second part of the celebration?

I've got to go and celebrate with your sister.

But the people are acclaiming you.

But are you really interested in the people. Do you really care about the people?

No, I don't care, but it's politics. - Oh yes, that's right, politics as usual.

That's right.

People... people... I'm coming right away.

To you, oh Mark Anthony, the well deserved laurel leaf.

People of Rome..

Octavian.

What do you want? - Half a pint. - Right away.

Hurry up, ah... ah...

How can you dream of holding a triumvir prisoner and not...

...being punished for it? Rome is waiting for me.

Octavian must be looking for me. Poor guy. He prepared...

...the triumph for me, he prepared it.

And also his little sister Octavia, right? Big flies like you are attracted with honey,

that's what Octavian said to the senate when everyone was shouting:

Death to Anthony. The dagger of poison. And he said, let's attract him...

...to Rome with some honey.

Really? - And then...

So that's what he said. The damned pig...

Oh, I should throw him right into Cleopatra's arms... you go...

But if he is so much in love with you it means that he has forgotten Cleopatra.

And to be able to return to your arms he will subjugate Egypt...

...as quick as a flash. That's my plan working out marvelously.

Plans, always plans, my brother-in law.

With one plan on top of the other you'll wind up on the Attic.

I'm glad to find you in good health, but it's true that you're...

...no longer the softie Anthony of Egypt.

But who is this Anthony of Egypt?

It's you, isn't it? - It's me? - Isn't it?

No, you said it isn't. - No, I'm saying you're another person.

Ah yes, I am another person.

Ah, truly unrecognizable. Full of vigor, of life and...

...from what I see also blessed with a wonderful appetite.

They say that you get an appetite by eating, but it's not true,

you get an appetite by not eating. Where is the egg, how many times...

...do I have to tell you that I want a little egg for breakfast.

But, but of course Anthony, right away.

These women, something awful. I'm used to sucking an egg for breakfast.

Really? - Here it is, ah... ah... It's fresh isn't it?

Today's.

What are you doing? - I'm thinking...

What are you thinking about? - I'm thinking about the chicken, poor thing.

But what does a chicken have to do with it, if it's an ostrich's egg.

And the ostrich too...

Let me get out of here.

In the plaza, alone with the people and you'II realize it, you will.

Go ahead. The door is open...

My little pussy cat is there standing guard...

That one...

Oh, all right, go out, go ahead out, but remember that outside of here...

...you might meet up with an ambush in the shadows, a dagger in your back,

You would be one triumvir too much.

By all the gods on Olympius. S. P. Q. R.. And you, Fulvia...

...are able to take part in such a betrayal,

Anthony, as a triumvir you had already destroyed

I only wanted to try to save my Anthony.

Oh no, I don't want to go to Egypt, I'm staying here,

I'll be here for Easter and the summer holidays.

But you must go. You're the only one who can subjugate Cleopatra.

Where shall I put her? - Under.

And will she stay there? - Oh, Anthony...

Anthony, don't act nanve...

But, excuse me, if you care so much about this Cleopatra,

go and subjugate her yourself, OK?

Ah, that's what I told him too.

Octavia, let us talk, these are serious matters, affairs of state.

Oh all right, oh all right, I'll leave you, if you need me,

I'm in there, I'm going to lie down awhile on the bed because I'm so tired...

Damn it.. - Where are you going?

But didn't you hear what your sister said?

That she's tired and she's going to lie, own on the bed?.

But what's that got to do with you?

Ah, she's my better half... - But she's tired.

And what if my half is tired too? What do you know about it?

Anthony, listen to me, it's for your own good. You know that...

...the senate has condemned you to death as a traitor to your country,

well then, I was the only one who saved you, and I couldn't do it again...

What is this...

Your head, Anthony, your own head.

My head? Will they cut it off? - Yes.

All right. You will stay here, then. And die here.

I also know how to be bad, you know. Very bad.

She put the beast to guard. As if I were afraid of that little beast.

Imagine. I have the courage of a lion, I. Hey, no jokes, huh?

Let's not joke. Beast. Well then? You know who I am? I am Mark Anthony.

I am a hero, a brave, a warrior. Oh, but we should give...

...a meatball to this. What a bad temper you have.

Don't worry about it. You go to Egypt and make all the Egyptians slaves of Rome.

Egyptians? Slaves? - Slaves.

Shall I bring them to you? - Of course.

How much will you pay me apiece?

Ah what a strange bargain... we'll get together on it.

You know I don't want any nonsense... I'll bring you the slaves,

you give me the sestertii, and I'll retire to private life.

Very well.

I'II have to leave you, because

I'm going to let the other half rest with your sister.

Go on, my dear, Go right ahead, go...

An urgent message to the Queen from Rome.

But is it possible that I always choose the wrong Roman?

And yet there is a Roman with whom you can never go wrong.

You?

Yes, Faithful to Caesar because I am faithful to you, faithful to

Anthony because I am faithful to you... Now his legions are mine,

his strength is mine. Do you want me to lead them against Rome?

Would you do that for me?

Anything, for your love, for one of your kisses.

My little Enobarbus.

Queen... my Queen...

Great news. Anthony is about to land in Alexandria.

Really? - Yes, my Queen.

I thank you, oh Isis.

This is my greatest victory. And you, what are you doing here?

Run quick, we have to prepare a reception for him - a triumphant one.

Good day to everyone.

Oh, by Bacchus. I know them...

...they are the four moors that were in the Piazza Grande in Leghorn...

What did you say?

Nothing, nothing it's something personal. Wow, if I had had them in Capua...

Hail.

Anthony, hail.

Hi there. - Anthony, hail.

Hail you, what's your name... wait, I can't remember.

I'm your lieutenant.

That's it, you're my...

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant, you're my lieutenant.

Yes.

And I had a lieutenant like you? Just look at him. Can't you see...

...what a shrimp you are? Your legs are crooked, you know you're disgusting?

You can't say that to your lieutenant.

Why not, who's going to stop me?

They are listening to you.

Why, don't you think they know it? Well, then, I'll tell them, he...

Anthony what are you saying?

I'm saying that you're disgusting.

By the way, tell me where miss Cleopatra is?

The Queen is on the throne.

What, she dares to sit on the throne without my permission? And then,

when she sees me she has to jump to her feet.

Because I'm a triumvir, understand?

A triumvir. Jump, jump. I am insulted, I'm leaving.

But Anthony, you can't go away just like that.

Why not?

We prepared a little party for you.

Go ahead and prepare the little party. The orgies have to stop, vice has to stop.

Now I'm here and I'm your punishment. Who is this little boy dressed like a warrior?

It's Cesarino, Caesar's son. Caesarion.

Caesariono, cesarono, or Caesariono. Who is he?

Caesarion.

Let me see him. Let me look at you. Death.

Why?

He's ugly.

And I suppose you're beautiful. Ouch, Mama.

You scoundrel you. Is that the right way to answer?

Mama's pet.

We prepared the usual apartment for you.

I don't like the usual one. Who's she?

A slave.

She's half a slave.

A little slave.

She's a tiny slave. However, I'll choose the apartment myself.

N'est-ce pas? Let's go.

Scoundrels, swindlers.

They salute you.

Why, do they know me?

Are you kidding?.

They called me a salami. Comfortable, comfortable... Little slave...

Out, everyone out...

Woe, if anyone will tell just one word of what happened.

Calm down, Mama.

And you too.

I can't understand you, insulting me like that in front of the whole court.

The air in Rome plays strange tricks, my Queen,

Octavian's air also plays strange tricks.

Octavian's, did you say? Or Octavia's?

No woman could compare to you.

But you know it. Anthony is a big flirt, that awful Ronan has certain ways...

Carmiana.

Yes my Queen.

Bring all my cosmetics, all my perfumes, the liquors, the essences...

...let's go together to the temple of the Cat Goddess and make a sacrifice...

...on the altar of love... maybe only she, the great Mammona can still help me.

Fulvia. Fulvia. Fulvia.

A terrible thing has happened. The leopard ate Anthony.

Fulvia where are you...

Cat Goddess. Mammona Goddess, you caused the miracle,

Now everything's in my own little paw.

Treasure, my beloved treasure.

Darling...

Yes, it is I who is caressing you...

Is it?

Your little cat...

Who am I?

Octavia... Octavia... Octavia...

Coward. Traitor.

Octavia... don't go away.

Where are you, Otta... Otta... what did you do,

get calluses?? Octavia, your hand is like a slipper... ah...

...put your arms around me...

Get out of here.

Who is it? Alarms, who goes there...

Ah is it you? Why did you interrupt my dream?

Get out of here, I said.

Just a minute, young lady, if anyone has to get out of here it's you.

Understand? And I would like to know who gave you the permission...

...to come into my apartment.

This is my room and you know it; You should know it. The bed is mine.

This bed. This sort of superantique? Anyhow, anyhow, I've requisitioned it...

...because I am the conqueror... imagine, I went all over the palace...

...to find a soft bed.

Of course it's the softest, and also the warmest;

but there's no room in it for any Octavia, even in a dream.

Ah... ah... that's what you say. If you hadn't interrupted us,

Octavia and I were getting along very well in a dream...

Who knows where we would have ended up?

Tony mine, Tony dear... But what is the reason for...

...all this playacting? Your presence here contradicts...

...all of your words... Tony... Tony...

And don't call me Tony any more, it bothers me to be called Tony...

Understand? Give up? Oh.... What did I do, after all?

I took the wrong bed. Why, in your whole life, didn't you ever take...

...the wrong bed? You understand me, right?

After all, if you like this bed so much...

...because it's roomy and therefore suitable for you to rest your nose on...

Ah. What did you say? Fresh. Lll bred.

Ha... your nose is popular, it's known in Rome and everyone talks about it,

your nose is better known than the pyramids.

Ah, what are you saying?

Big nose.

Wretch... wretch...

What's going on, my queen?

No man has ever treated me like this. Maybe I'm no longer beautiful?.

You're more beautiful than ever. It's Anthony who... I don't know,

I can't understand it, he isn't himself any more...

He must pay. He has insulted me, he must pay.

All we need is a 'yes' a little 'yes' from your divine lips...

...and the insults will be washed away in blood.

All right, yes... I say it.

If he no longer wishes to be mine, no-one will have him.

Who are you? - How dare you.

Do you understand anything?

Mirror, look at my nose and tell me that it isn't true... ah, why don't...

...you answer me, mirror? Speak... mirror... tell me that the Romans are wrong...

...but answer me mirror....

Cuckoo... guess who I am?

Ah. Help.... An attempt. Help.

But Cleo, by the gods, don't you...

...recognize me? It's me, your treasure, who's come back. Look at me.

Ah. Are you here again? You shouldn't...

...have bothered to come back, how dare you?

But Cleo, I don't understand you.

It's I who don't understand you, First you go away the way you did,

now you come back with that beard. You're erratic and a clown.

Cleopatra... Cleopatra... if this beard could only speak... If you only knew...

A queen doesn't listen to a beard.

But it isn't the beard that has to speak, it's me dear...

You've already spoken too much.

But I haven't said a word.

You didn't say a word, huh? You didn't say anything?

And where will you put my nose?

I don't know, wherever you like you tell me where I should put it and I'll put it.

No... no... I'm talking about my nose.

Ah. Your nose, but you know that I adore it, it gives you personality.

Yes, you love it, so then I'm no longer a big nose.

Don't say such foolish things, of course it's not a big nose, anything but,

if there's a big nose around here, it's me, look

You insulted me.

I say... I didn't think I was insulting you... I was joking.

Ah. You call it joking?

Ah... how come you've become so sensitive...

Cleopatra, by Jove Plubius...

...by all the gods, tell me the truth, maybe you don't love me any more?

You're asking me that? After the way you acted?

Oh come on, don't be angry at me, try to understand, I had to act that way...

In spite of myself... Rome... the intrigue... Octavian... the darks plots in the palaces...

The love you say you bring me...

...must be very small; and your fear of Octavian very great.

Ah... ah... my fear of Octavian... but I don't fear him, Octavian,

because I want to set off the bomb.

What do you mean?

What do I mean. Octavian is peaceful, he already thinks he's the emperor,

how eluded he is.

And so?

And so, look well at me, Mark Anthony and Cleopatra married, and we'll make...

...an empire on our own. That's the bomb.

Oh Tony. Is that the way you feel?

Of course.

When will all these nice things happen?

Tomorrow.

Then you repudiate your wife?

There's no need to repudiate her, a leopard friend of hers...

...has eaten and digested her.

Ah... Then I've really found my Mark Anthony again,

handsome and strong as he was before.

Listen Cleopatra will you give me a kiss?

Of course.

And then this is just barely, just barely a preview. I'II go,

hurry to clean up and be right back. Ah... ah... I'll show you...

...who Mark Anthony is ha... ha... Wowie.

The man is still mine. Did you hear that, mirror? And mine is his strength,

and mine is his empire. Oh... finally my dream is coming true.

And Apollodorus? Will they kill him? Oh Isis... Oh Ammone. Carmiana.

Where are you? Where did you go Carmiana? Carmiana...

Here I am, my Queen, what do you want?

Listen Carmiana, there isn't a minute to lose, run to Apollodorus, stop him,

stop the murderous hand. Anthony loves me.

Oh how nice. How glad I am. - Run, stupid.

I'm going.

Oh excuse me.

Ah, you've come back, my treasure.

Treasure, nuts.

What are you looking for?

Who took them? What do you mean what are you looking for? I'm looking...

...for the pouch with the money... I forgot it here on the bed before...

Antonio, what happens?

What happens? It happens that they swiped two sesterces.

They were 10, now they're 8. You stole them.

Are you crazy? - I'm crazy? Yeah?

And you know what you are? A cheat, and a thief.

Can't leave a thing and they swipe it.

It isn't possible... Carmiela. Carmiela.

Everything's alright, my queen, rest assured.

Counter order: Kill him. Let him be killed.

Hi, little Enobarbus of mine, hi, here I am back to the sweet land...

...of the Nile. I'm glad to see you looking well, you know, I'm glad.

Listen I have many things to tell you but, after all, it's night and the night...

...was made for love, and Cleopatra is waiting for me.

Understand me? You understand me? But what are you, a sphinx?

No.

What are you doing then? I'm only disgusting.

And did you just realize that now, you've just realized it.

But Anthony.

But don't get sore, I'm joking. Listen, would you do me a favor

I'm going to wash up, and would you please prepare the green toga...

...for me, n'est-ce pas? ...Bye, bye...

Fickle heart of a woman, she has already forgiven him.

What are you looking for?

None of your business. Get the red toga ready for me.

But... why, doesn't the green one look better on you?

I said I want the red toga. Understand?

And why are you bringing me the red toga?

You told me to.

I said the green toga. You're upset and careless, you are getting old,

you're more upset than a part time maid.

I'm not your maid. I'm a soldier, I'm a Roman patrician. I come here...

...to your rooms to speak to you about business of state...

...and you're thinking about togas.

I'll take care of it, I'II put it on in the bathroom where there's...

...a long mirror. And then you'll drape it for me but be careful.

I hate him. I hate him. If it wasn't for Cleopatra, I'd hand in my resignation.

Barbetta. - Enobarbus.

Enobarbus, Barbetta they're hair either way, but listen, I... ah...

But why are you looking at me like that?

You are putting the red toga on.

What do you care about what togas I wear?

Yes I care, because I would like to know something... green, red, red, green.

Are you cracking up? Boy, just look at the kind of lieutenant I had...

...to wind up with. Well... I'm going out to have some fun...

I'm going to have a good time in the 'Roman Night' of Alexandria.

At the Night Club.

Aren't you going to Cleopatra?

To Cleopatra of Egypt. I'm going to see the strip tease.

I was forgetting the best thing: The gravy. The gravy goes to war.

But then it's true, he doesn't love her any more, he's leaving her...

Be brave, Enobarbus, although your legs may tremble. You go to Cleopatra.

She'll need a few kind words...

But you... you...

Well?

You have you come back?

I've come back. I have washed, and I have come back. Can you smell...

...the fragrance of my skin? Smell. Ah... That's right you don't...

...understand anything. Oh listen, don't wake me tomorrow morning.

And when would you like to be woken up?

What day is today?

Monday.

Wake me, wake me Saturday night.

Why?

Because I want this night of mine with Cleopatra to be eternal.

But Anthony.

Well, so long.

Just a minute, just a minute, stay calm, stay calm Enobarbus,

stay calm and level headed...

He said Cle... Cleopatra... the red toga... huh... it's enough to drive one crazy...

Anthony is coming here...

Hurry... hurry... hide under the bed... as soon as I manage to make him...

...turn his back... hit without mercy... swiftly.

Bonjour, mon amor, sava bien?

Here... - What is it...

Two sestertii, I found them on the floor, under your...

I must have dropped them before, however they're not important.

And now, am I still a thief according to you?

Of course you are a thief... a big thief... a thief of love... you stole my heart...

But what do you want from me?

What do I went from you, Cleopatra?. It's obvious isn't it?

My treasure. And do you think you still deserve something?

Of course. Soon we will be husband and wife... and so...

...a preview is fitting, isn't it?

You would go against Rome to make me the Queen of the world?

How many times do I have to tell you so... I would give you...

...the sun, the moon... if they were mine.

But how can I still believe you?

You've been so changeable since you got back.

Me?

At certain times...

...you are so strange... believe me Anthony, I don't recognize you any more.

Cleo... Cleo... Cleo... don't talk nonsense,

I am always the same Mark Anthony for you.

Rome should sink into the Tiber, the arch of the empire should crumble...

No.

Why no? - Yes.

The arch should crumble... - No.

Yes... no... let's get together on this... - No.

Oh. Don't be afraid, my little one... I meant it should crumble if I lie.

Rome is always there waiting for us, now instead, my treasure,

you know what is urgent? Love.

Under the bed.

Under the be... under the bed... a... ah I understand,

it's a new refinement...

You think them all up. These Egyptians.

Oh no... I was joking... can't I joke any more?

Yes... and now don't we want to act seriously?

Of course, dear... but first I want a proof of your love.

Tell me dear, at your command.

I want the Provinces of Media.

They are yours.

And then Thrace. - Given

Licia... Bilicia... and Cappadocia.

And now you know what I'm going to do?

What?

I'm going to put out the light.

Taken.

Good day. - Hail.

Hey, you.

Stop.

Stop. Don't move... But, by Jove, who are you?

Oh, excuse me Otello... I thought you were me...

...that is that I was you... yes, I was looking for myself, that's it...

General Anthony, are you crazy?

Maybe... I don't know... Hail ...What's happening to me.

Halt there. Don't move. What are you doing?

Can't you see, I'm going out. - Through the window?

Why, according to you, where should I be leaving from?

Tell me this, what toga did you wear last night,

the red one or the green one?

The red one...

Ah. And who wore the green one?

How do I know, what am I the guard of the togas?

I understand... you think I'm a dope.

Yes sir... - Yes... so I'm a dope then?

Aren't you a dope? - Me.

Yes... - No.

You said I'm a dope. - I?

Then you've changed your mind... - About what?

That you're a dope. - I'm not a dope.

That's what I say. - If anyone's a dope, you know who it is?

Yes. - You. - Me. - Let's drop it.

That's enough.

Oh listen, don't make me lose time.

I've got an appointment in Rome, you'll make me lose the boat.

There's no boat leaving for Rome.

What do I care, I'll leave by myself on foot; alone

Ah, alone

Why, are you going to forbid me?

And you abandon Cleopatra like that?

That Cleopatra. Nobarbus you bore me to death too.

Take that mask off.

What mask?

Yours.

Have I got a mask on?

Your make-believe mask.

And when did I put it on?

Don't joke, confess? You're not Mark Anthony...

Ah? Ah? And you realized it now, you see?

And then you say you're not a dope

Well then, who are you, what did you come here for.

I'm his poor twin brother.

And what did you come here for?

To tell the truth, I didn't come, they sent me.

They told me, go there and subjugate Cleopatra. Understand?

Ah, and who sent you?

That one there... Well. It would take too long to explain...

...it to you, understand. But now that the other one's here,

No. - Yes.

No. You have to take care of it. - Me?

Yes. From this moment on...

Ah... Ah... look, here are the sestertii.

They're not important. - Leave the pouch.

From this moment on, you'll do everything I say, is that clear?

Otherwise, I'II bring you before Mark Anthony and I'll unmask you...

...in front of him and Cleopatra, and beware because

Cleopatra doesn't fool around.

Is this blackmail then? - Yes.

Are you a blackmailer too?

But wouldn't it be better if I stop bothering you and just leave?

No, you must be a bother.

Really then, this is being ill bred. - Yes.

You're a blackmailer and ill bred. - Yes.

And you stink. - And I stink too.

Stinker.

Quiet. You have to continue acting the way you have until now,

all right? That way you'll make Mark Anthony detestable...

...to Cleopatra and you'II ruin him.

Mark Anthony is a good person, and too we're related.

That's enough. You're in my hands and you have no choice, either you...

...obey me or you get the stake.

I don't understand.

Either you obey me or you get the stake.

The stake? - Yes.

What is the stake?

Do you know what hanging-posts are?

I've made my choice. - What?

I'll obey, you're not going to make a jerk out of me.

The generals are reporting.

Good, good, is anyone on leave?

At ease. And what's this one doing here?

Who? - I told you to kill him.

But I'm a general, you made me one yourself.

Really? Then the way I made you I unmake you, all right?

I demote you to sub-sentry.

Watch what you're doing because I'm going to tell Mama.

Ah, yes, your mother doesn't bother me, she doesn't bother me...

...in the least. As a matter of fact, you can tell her to watch her step...

...or I'II demote her too, to sub-Egyptian. Let me see your hand.

It's clean. Ouch. Darn you. I'll pay you back for that.

Mama, I'll show you, I will... Ah, cuckold.

You scoundrel... Let me go. I'll break his head, you know?

Ugly son of a Cleopatra.

Listen to me, watch to see when the Queen arrives,

Anthony gets here a short while later.

A short while later?

When the Queen arrives, Anthony gets here a short while later.

But this later... later... I don't understand you... what is this mouse...

Mouse nothing... After the Queen ...Anthony arrives...

...and you have to beat it quickly.

I'll beat it right away. And veterinarians... of all the wars...

Veterans...

Why, what did I say? - Veterinarians...

Ah, I was speaking in the third person... As I was saying, vetarinarians of...

...all the wars, I'm surprised that you allow yourselves...

...to be led by an idiot like that.

But no, we never question your orders.

And instead you should question them.

Did I hurt you? You've got a foot that's two yards long.

Tony...

Tony, excuse me if I'm disturbing you.

Yes, you're disturbing me, you're really disturbing me.

Ah, what is it?

You're always joking...

Oh, no I mean it. What is it?

Can you lend me two legions?

Are you crazy? Do you think I lend two legions just like that...

...as though they were two umbrellas? And then, what do you need them for?

I have to send them to take possession of the provinces you gave me:

Tracia, Licia, Bilicia and Cappadacia...

And not Cacaracia? You're crazy, I don't give provinces away to just anyone...

You're breaking your word?

I'm breaking my word, I'm a breaker that's all, why now I should start...

...giving away the parts of the Roman empire...

...as though they were gnats... ah... ah... Barbalongus...

Enobarbus.

Prepare a steamed gyros, uh... a stamped papyrus.

For how much?

Two hundred liras...

Do you want two sestersii?

If I swerve it's my business... I go straight... I never swerve...

...understand? And forbid the queen here present from putting her hands...

...on the lllium or prose provinces, otherwise I'II cut those ugly hands off.

Hurry up... - Huh? - Hurry up, get out, get out, beat it...

Why?

You have to get out of here.

Yes... I'll be right back to sign, right? General... come here... Follow me...

One... two... one... two...

But Tony. - Step... step.

What get's into him? Do you understand anything about this?

I told you the air of Rome plays dirty tricks.

Unfortunately I have to forbid you, orders are orders.

Damn him, last night I gave in to his flattery. And yet...

...and yet he was so cute, tender and sweet...

The passionate Anthony of the good old days - Rome was far away...

There was only me, his Cleo...

...his crocodile, as he used to call me,

as though he wanted to be devoured by me.

Cuckcoo... Guess who I am?

A scoundrel. - Ah. Cleo.

How dare you put your hands on me.

But really it was you who put your hands on me. I was joking.

Is it a joke to give me the provinces the night before only...

...to take them from me in the morning.

Me?

Yes. You also ordered Enobarbus to forbid me.

Enobarbus? Tell her that it's not true.

In all honesty, I have to say that it's true...

There, see, it's true.

But if I just came in now.

Yes, but on your return. In all honesty I have to say...

...that you took the provinces away from her, you went out,

and now you've returned.

That's right.

You even left your helmet there...

See?

It's true. Oh my God, I don't understand anything any more...

Mama. Ah, you're here. Mama, don't look that one there...

...in the face any more. He degraded me.

He did that too?

It's not true... that brat is a liar.

Yes, yes and he even hit me.

Me? Enobarbus, say he's a liar...

In all honesty I must say that you hit him and you degraded him,

what's more you even threatened to degrade the queen to sub-Egyptian.

Ah. So.

Tell the truth... in all honesty... you caught him?

How did it go?

Very well. Mark Anthony got himself a big slap... Baaam.

Tell me about it, were you there?

Of course I was.

Really, huh? And was this mark caused by a whiff of air?

Why, can you see it?

Hey. Come here and look at yourself in the mirror...

But the mirror is broken... Mark Anthony... Hide...

Dear Enobarbus. It's going badly. I am being reproached for things

I didn't do, things I didn't say... A little while ago I saw a person...

...who was me instead, when took a good look,

it was someone else.

Believe me, I can't take any more

I've got a band around my head which is tormenting me.

It must be the crown...

You think so? - Yes.

You're right... Here... excuse me, I want to look in the mirror.

What an ugly face.

And yours is handsome.

What did you say? - That yours is handsome...

Thank you. I'm anemic you know?

I'm not. - Huh? - I'm not.

Ah... no.

Darn it. Enobarbus.

What is it? - The mirror spit in my eye.

What mirror?

What do you mean, what mirror? This one.

But there isn't any mirror.

What do you mean there isn't any mirror?

And what is this? Did you hear the noise?

What noise, what are you saying... there's nothing there...

Look. Ah. I broke it.

Oh God I'm going crazy.

But Anthony. - I'm going crazy.

But you worry me, you're pale.

I'm pale. - Your face looks terrible.

How is it? - A horrible face.

My face is a horrible face? - Oh yes, you are sick.

Anthony, you are sick. - I'm sick?

You're sick, don't worry about it, stay calm, come with me.

Come here... Listen to me, lie down on the bed

Easy, easy, easy, don't move,

I'll go and call the royal brain surgeon right away.

Wait here for me.

Yes... and yet I was there.

I'll do a thorough check-up.

However it would be better to bring him down to my office...

This business worries me.

We must do something, for the good of the Queen.

We'll see.

You understand, it could be a danger for her, for Egypt.

We should lock him up.

All right, all right, if things have come...

...to that point we'II lock him up, and... but here he is.

Noble Anthony.

What is it?

Noble Anthony, how is it that you are here?

Didn't you tell me that he was in bed?

No, I'm not...

What do you mean, weren't you in bed?

But I ran away from the mirror, don't you remember?

But why, are you not? He doesn't remember.

It's not important. Be calm. Calm.

Be calm, Anthony.

I beg your pardon, eh?

But who is this one?

Nothing, keep quiet. Always answer yes.

Why? - He's crazy.

Ah. Ehi, I say...

Go along with him, keep calm, always answer yes.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

What?

I was in bed.

There, see, he remembers.

Keep calm, calm.

I'm calm.

So now let's go into the office.

Where are we going?

In the office.

I don' want to go in the office.

You must go in the office.

But why, who says so? - It's better for your health, Anthony

I'll come too.

But tell me, isn't this dangerous?

No. Don't worry.

What does he want from me?

I don't know, I don't know, go.

Listen, while I am in the office,

if I shout, run in, because I am afraid. I alone...

Alone, alone, Anthony, be calm. Keep calm, you'll come alone.

Keep calm.

Enobarbus will wait for us here, right?

All right.

Anthony, you'll see...

I am calm, what about you? - Very calm. We're all calm.

Boys, remember to keep calm.

Go on...

I say, it's not going to be too dangerous?

Oh noooo...

Listen, if I call you, you stay here. - Keep calm.

Be calm, Anthony. - Keep calm.

Calm... - Calm, calm. Calm eh?

I won't budge... - Let's not make jokes.

Now what's going to happen? But perhaps it's better this way...

This is a head of a possessed one.

As soon as he makes a move I'll break his head.

Sit down. - Please. Sit down. - Please.

But sit down I tell you. I'll sit down too. - Ah. I'll break your head you know?

Stop.

Put down the stool. Watch out, I'll call Enobarbus... I'll call Enobarbus.

Be calm Anthony, keep quiet, put down the stool, please.

I'm calm.

Yes, put it down. - You put it down first.

You first. All right, together there...

One, two, three.

I've put it down.

Did you see? Sit down, sit.

Sit down, sit down...

So, Enobarbus told me that you had to give me...

Yes he told me...

No, Enobarbus told me that...

Yes, I understand.

He told you? - Yes, he told me...

If you do not stop we'll end up in the square.

There is no need, Anthony, ceep calm. Keep quiet. See, now we are alone.

Here you can talk to me openly, with full confidence.

All right.

I will listen to you with great affection, great sympathy, however you must...

...tell me everything. Everything, everything.

They told me he was crazy, but not anything else.

How is your stomach? Your appetite?

Very good.

And the legs? Are they not a little heavy?

No, no.

The head instead is, yes?

Yes.

That's heavy, yes?

Really no, since I've had this head I got along very well.

Look it's light.

Mine is a little heavy... this one...

...when I had the other one instead, it was lighter.

You had a head for a change...

A head for a change... Keep quiet, keep quiet... let me see your tongue...

No. - Come on.

No. - Let me see your tongue.

I'm ashamed.

Come on... I told you to trust me... But... Cute... this little game is very cute.

Let me see yours. - If you want to.

Ah, ah, and now pull it down...

Stupid. You had a spring in the back.

Of course.

Did your mother make you without a spring.

Anthony... please...

I can't stand it any more.

Nor do I, to tell the truth; please, do not get excited.

Did you hurt yourself?

Nothing... - Let me see your head. Does it hurt?

No, it doesn't hurt.

No, no it's all right. But look at your hair.

My hair? - It's enormous. Very long.

Is it all mine?

Ah yes... but is it elastic?

Look at the way it stretches... Iook how it stretches...

What a cute game you are playing

What a coincidence... did you know it?

Ah, yes, yes.

Keep quiet, eh? Quiet. See, we are playing.

We are playing.

Now it's my turn. I'll finish.

I can't go on any more.

Enough with the hair, here, I'll reattach you to your head, all right?

Yes, yes Anthony, no fooling... Let's talk about serious things.

Tell me... What you did yesterday it was really an awful thing.

What did I do?

Eh, you did a real bad thing.

No... I...

Yesterday morning I did a bad thing?

Yes.

I wasn't aware of it.

And who told you? The generals.

And where were the generals?

All around you.

No. - Yes.

The generals were all around and I was in the middle...

...and did a bad thing?

Those generals are real gossips, you know.

Really. Do not get upset, I did bad things in front...

...of generals too, yes... and now...

Let's not joke. Help... Enobarbus, Enobarbus?

Help, put down the hammer.

Enobarbus. Enobarbus. Catch him. Catch him.

Keep quiet. You'll rouse the palace.

He's crazy, he's crazy. - I told you he was crazy.

He wanted to stab me... - Keep calm, keep calm.

Closing him up is not enough. We must operate on him at once.

Operate. How?

Yes, his skull must be opened, the brains have to be in full view...

...to see if inside them there is something, sometimes little bugs...

...get in there and stay there and he must have them,

for sure he has them...

Then it's a difficult operation...

Well, modestly, I have performed hundreds of such operations,

all went well.

They all recovered... - No, they all died.

Ah, post-operative consequences.

No, during the operation. It's a normal thing, no?

Ah, interesting.

Honorable colleagues, please speak up one at the time.

We can't understand anything.

It's Anthony's followers that are making all the noise...

...to cover the voice of truth.

Anthony has betrayed us.

It's not true, It appears to me that never like now has Anthony fought...

...for the sacred cause of Rome, even against Cleopatra.

Any doubt can be cleared up by going there to see personally...

...and I'll go there as I want to with many legions.

Senators this is a solemn moment Rome declares war to Egypt.

Thus we will see what side is Anthony on.

Totonno. Totonno, don't play, don't you understand that now...

...we must run away? Marc Anthony may be here any moment.

Marc Anthony? Wasn't he being operated on the brains?

Nothing doing, things went wrong. At the last moment Cleopatra budged in...

Ahhh. This Cleopatra spoils everything for us.

But she needs him, needs his legions once that war has been declared.

War has been declared?

Yes. - Against who?

Octavian is about to land.

Octavian is a friend of mine, we are brothers-in-law,

I'll take care of things, don't worry.

Yes, but if he attacks: War.

If he attacks the war?

No. Octavian attacks Anthony.

And to who do I attach myself?

To... you attach yourself to me.

To whom do you attach yourself?

I attach myself to you.

And to whom does Cleopatra attach herself?

Absolutely not, say it, say it...

Quick, you must hide yourself. Quick. Where?

Where? - Over there...

Catch me.

Ah, here you are Enobarbus, good, do we have a map of the delta here?

Of course, my Queen, it's here,

I had already prepared it, here is the map.

Let me see. You call this a map?

What is it then?

It's small, it's a minimap.

Well, Anthony, it's understood that Octavian will land here...

...with ten legions, isn't that so?

Twelve, my Queen, besides the cavalry...

...and many of the latest war machines, secret weapons.

Here you will attack him.

At the landing point?

Yes, we'll throw him back into the sea.

Easy said, how can you do it?

I can hardly put together three and a half legions.

Your legions are four.

There were four, Enobarbus,

but the Egyptian women have destroyed them.

Is it Anthony who speaks like that? Where is your courage?

To defend your women you and your men must spring up like lions.

What lions. There are only four cats of us left and faced by...

...the overwhelming forces of Octavian, do you know what the cats do?

They run away.

And you'll run away, very good. A nice attack so that Octaviano...

...will believe you ready to fight to the last man, then the flight.

My plan is perfect.

But excuse me, let's not confuse things, my Cleopatra.

It seems to me that this is Octavian's plan.

No, because once Octavian has pursued and surrounded you,

he will think himself the victor, but at the same instant,

from every hill, from every hole, my men will jump out and by...

...the thousand, they will surround the surrounderers.

To look at her you wouldn't guess it. Good for you Cleopatra

To give you every guarantee I will place my army...

...under the command of your lieutenant.

Him? Very good. Then let's get ready to the fight.

Like a wild beast. Come, Cleopatra, my companion,

give a kiss to a soldier. And I'll swear to you that...

...wherever Marc Anthony will pass there will be death,

extermination, scourge.

The earth will open under men's feet and they'll fall in...

...those who want to fight, follow me.

Hail.

What do you mean with your Hail? Are you on a furlough?

Anthony, I'll take command of the Egyptian forces.

Yeah, that's right, I was forgetting, be careful then, Nobarbus,

as soon as you see that we are surrounded, don't hold back...

...the surprise, surprise us at once.

You can trust me. - I trust you.

Go, my heart is with you.

I will multiply my forces, I will come back a winner...

...to gather from your divine lips a well deserved kiss. Hail.

Hail.

Bye.

Enobarbus, listen to me, are you still ready to do anything for me?

My divine one, to see you happy

I'd be willing to throw you into the arms of another man.

What do you mean?

It is also possible that Octavian might win.

It's possible...

Little Enobarboncinus,

do you think you can teach me to do my job as queen?

What a mess. Romans beating up Romans.

Attack. Forward. We follow them.

Mamma Mia. - Every man for himself. Betrayal. - Every man for himself.

Have you news of Enobarbus, with the Egyptian troops? - None.

Resist to the last man, while I'm going to meet Enobarbus. Go.

Totonno? Totonno, let's be merry, let's be merry, oh, how happy I am.

The battle is about to be ended and everything goes wonderfully.

I'm glad. Tell me, are we winning?

I'm telling you that everything is going well, that means we are losing.

You are confusing me. How is it that we are losing and all goes well?

That's it.

But I say, are we losing as Romans, as Egyptians or as simpletons?

What I mean to say... I mean to say that Octavian is winning.

Yes?

Did you understand?

Ha. I'm very glad, but how long does it take to lose this war,

I am tired to remain down here. Do not steal that apple.

Park the charriots. Orders from the Put away your arms.

My Queen, a defeated Anthony comes to you as furious as a bull...

...that's furious. Be on guard.

Isis, give me all my strength. And also some good luck.

Where is Cleopatra? - Tony.

Where is Cleopatra? Ah, here you are. Wicked Egyptian, witch, unfaithful,

this is your love. With a smile on your lips you sent me to...

...fight while you were contriving the most vile betrayal.

I?

Yes you. I should kill you. But I won't do it. And you know why?

So as not to spoil Octavian's triumph, the triumph of a Roman as I am.

Let him make you a prisoner. Let him take you to Rome on a leash,

tied to his chariot, let him expose you to the insults of the plebs...

Ah. Cleopatra, you don't know what the Roman plebs are when they throw...

...their insults, what comes out of their mouths.

Where you ever to the stadium? No. So you don't know.

Oh, but Anthony, I don't understand you. Explain yourself... Did we lose perhaps?

Did we... I lost. Because you, you weren't there, neither you nor your army.

How is that?

Had I seen the shadow of an Egyptian. Nothing.

But what have I got to do with it. I was here praying to the gods.

You prayed to them badly.

But my army was under your lieutenant.

Yeah. He's a good one. Enobarbus.

Where has he gone? Enobarbus, wretched fellow, damn you.

Noble Anthony, if he betrayed you as I suppose he did,

he must be in Octavian's camp, he could hardly hear you.

Misfortune. Misfortune. Adverse destiny does not save...

...its blows and adds to defeat the anger of my lord,

so that I lose both throne and love. My heart, you that are prepared...

...to the hardest trials, bear with defeat, but how...

...don't you break under the suspicions of the noble Anthony?

Ahhh, death. Where are you? Death, the deliverer.

Come, come to take the most unlucky of queens.

And drag her into your dark world together with her loved one.

Cleopatra. Let's not joke. Be calm, young woman, be calm.

Ah. Let's kill ourselves, Anthony, let's kill ourselves. Give me your sword.

Are you crazy? We need to be calm. Calm is the virtue of the strong ones.

And besides my soldiers are still fighting, yes, they are withdrawing,

but who can say that theirs is not a strategic move?

But they are withdrawing.. What a misfortune.

Well, they'll give us... they'll give us time to flee no?

Let's do something... and go into exile... so many kings...

...are in exile, there will be place for us too.

And they are not badly off.

Oh. So long... so long as I don't lose you...

Tony, two hearts and a hut.

Yes, Cleopatra, let's do that, go there and pack the suitcases,

fill them with gold, jewels, precious stones, all that you...

...can because you must understand... without dough, my Cleopatra,

it's hard to exile.

Come. There's a secret passage behind the throne known only to me.

I know about it too.

Go ahead. - You go first.

Divine Octavian.

The Queen of Egypt is at your feet.

She declares herself your slave. And is...

Noble Octavian. The lady of high and low Egypt, the daughter...

...of the sun and of the moon, greets you as...

...the liberator of the Eastern lands.

Salve. But where are you. Inside a sea shell?

And is this your throne?

For you, the only lord of the world, there are no other thrones.

I receive you in a simple manner, as humble daughter of Venus.

Ah, well, well, I understand.

Well, I must admit that as an ornament to my triumph...

...the ensemble will be rather a decoration.

Certainly.

Yes, we'll need some music, slaves, lights... I'll take it.

Besides, the packing is done... Close up, close well.

There must be a key, yes.

Have everything shipped at once to Rome, as samples...

...with no specified value eh?

Ah, yes. Thusly you thank me. I, who paved you the way...

...to triumph and power. I, who removed your rival,

Marc Anthony.

Removed? What do you mean?

Yes, yes, I killed him, the man who loved me...

You did that?

Octavian, Octavian, how are you? The devil take you...

You? But weren't you dead?

No I wasn't, why?

But Cleopatra told me she had killed you.

She must have killed Marc Anthony.

And are you not Marc Anthony?

Not I.

And why not? - Why not... why not...

Why not?

Why am I not Marc Anthony?

Are you saying now that I am not Marc Anthony? Aho.

I'd like to see who dares to say that I'm not Marc Anthony.

What did you tell me then?

It's the truth. I was sure of it...

Don't mind her, she would not tell the truth even if they tore...

...her nails out, they are fake anyhow. Take a look.

I don't understand anything anymore, it's the end...

The asp. Where's the asp? Give me the asp.

What asp does she want? Give it to her...

Oh... by the way, how is your sister?

Just a minute.

No, no, tell me how she is.

Just a minute.

Your sister. Your sister, how's your sister?

I understand.

But you better tell me, what were you up to against me?

Nothing. What was I up to?

What do you mean nothing?

Nothing.

You sent troops against me.

I? What do I know, they wanted to come.

But they attacked me.

Well, they are boys... they are hotheaded...

...one must be patient.

But the troops were under you command.

Under Marc Anthony's command.

Under MacAnthony's? What a scoundrel.

That Marc Anthony, eh.

Don't joke. How do you explain that to me?

What do I know? You better do the explaining.

But don't you understand that men were killed?

Well, dear Octavian. One must be patient,

as you know on such occasions... there is always someone who gets killed.

But the dead were my men.

Well, all right. Let's not subtilize. The dead might have been yours,

mine, his, ours, theirs, what do you want from me?

The victory was yours, Egypt is yours... by the way...

...by the way... You must give me 20 million sesterees.

20 million sesterces?

20 million sesterces.

But how many people are there in Egypt?

Two million. At ten sesterces each, you figure it out.

But 20 million sesterces is too much.

Too much? Why, how much do you want to give me?

Well... I don't know... 18 million...

...18 million... are you crazy? Do you have bugs in you head?

And he came all the way from Rome. He came and he made hay here.

Listen. To show you that I'm your friend, you give me...

...the 20 million and I'll make the Suez Canal near Egypt, all right?

All right. - Am I a friend?

All right, shake hands.

One, two, three. Agreed.

Suez is yours.

Well, I had to give it to him and that's that...

Anthony... I'm dying...

There it goes again. - What?

Cleopatra must have eaten beans again.

In the can?

How should I know what happened?

I'm dying... - Woman. What happened to you?

Ah. I'm dying...

What's that serpent? Take that serpent off her at once.

It's late, Anthony. It's late.

Why, what time is it?

Sweet as a balm the asp already bit me.

Really? The asp? This is an asp? This is a big eel.

This is a big eel. She stole it from the fish man...

I don't think so.

I saw her standing in front of the store.

Good bye. Anthony.

Good bye dear.

Only Isis knows how you were able to save yourself.

Well...

Too bad. We'd taken the last trip together.

In the meantime, my child, start going, I will follow you...

...in thirty or forty years, what do you say?

Believe me, Naso, I'm really glad you came to see us.

But, dear Anthony it has not been easy to find this place of refuge.

You really retired from the world. You lucky man.

Do you need anything else? - No.

Listen, tell your husband to come here right away.

Right away.

Anthony. That slave looks like Cleopatra to me.

It is Cleopatra. I enslaved her.

But wasn't she bitten by an asp?

Died the asp.

Did you send for me? - Yes. - What do you want?

Listen, Enobarbus, go to the stables, brush down my horses...

...wash very well the baby's bottom, put the harnesses, prepare the biga,

because I want to accompany Publius Naso to Rome.

In conscience, I wanted to remind you that you destined me...

...to the kitchens, not to the stables.

Quiet. I'm the master and you will do as told.

Am I giving you a salary? - Yes. Did I make you marry Cleopatra? - Yes.

Is Cleo cheating on you? - Yes. - Are you a cuckold? - Yes.

What do you want then?

Anything you say, but not the stables.

Keep quiet. That's enough... you have no choice...

Either you obey or the stake.

What's the stake?

One of those famous suspensions...

I'll go to the stables.

Go. Octavia, I'll accompany Naso to Rome and be right back.

Let's go.

You'II see what a traffic there is.