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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,434 --> 00:00:06,107 DAD, "MARTIAN SNIPER 2" IS OUT. 2 00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,639 WE´VE GOT TO GO BUY IT BEFORE THEY´RE ALL GONE. 3 00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:10,741 I´VE BEEN OUT OF WORK A WHILE. MONEY´S A LITTLE TIGHT. 4 00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:13,384 SO NOW´S NOT A GOOD TIME, OKAY? 5 00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:18,389 HOW ABOUT NOW? 6 00:00:18,389 --> 00:00:21,092 HONEY, I WAS THINKING... 7 00:00:21,092 --> 00:00:23,124 I KNOW IT´S OUR ANNIVERSARY NEXT WEEK, 8 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,256 BUT SINCE WE´RE CATCHING UP ON OUR BILLS, 9 00:00:25,256 --> 00:00:27,598 WHY DON´T WE LET EACH OTHER OFF THE HOOK THIS YEAR, HUH? 10 00:00:27,598 --> 00:00:29,560 YES! NO GIFTS! 11 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,163 YOU DON´T KNOW THE HELL I GO THROUGH TRYING TO FIND YOU 12 00:00:32,163 --> 00:00:34,165 SOME OVERPRICED, MEANINGLESS PIECE OF -- 13 00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:36,437 I DIDN´T SAY NO GIFTS. 14 00:00:37,668 --> 00:00:40,541 I JUST THINK THIS YEAR, WE SHOULD GIVE EACH OTHER 15 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,743 SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS OUR LOVE. 16 00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:46,517 YOU KNOW, SOMETHING CREATIVE, THAT COMES FROM THE HEART. 17 00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:48,179 OH, MAN. 18 00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:50,281 AHH! THIS IS TOO WEAK. 19 00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:54,325 IN CUBA, EVEN BABIES DRINK COFFEE STRONGER THAN THIS. 20 00:00:54,325 --> 00:00:57,388 BECAUSE THEY HAVEN´T HAD MILK SINCE 1959. 21 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,233 GEORGE, CAN YOU TAKE MY DAD TO THIRSTY´S WITH YOU? 22 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:05,065 I CAN´T GET ANY WORK DONE WITH HIM HERE IN THE HOUSE. 23 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,597 WHAT´S HIS PROBLEM? 24 00:01:06,597 --> 00:01:08,599 HE CAN´T OPEN HIS PRACTICE 25 00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:10,741 UNTIL HIS MEDICAL LICENSE TRANSFERS FROM FLORIDA. 26 00:01:10,741 --> 00:01:13,104 HE´S GOING CRAZY. HE´S DYING TO GET BACK TO WORK. 27 00:01:13,104 --> 00:01:14,745 ALL RIGHT. 28 00:01:14,745 --> 00:01:17,748 BUT YOU KNOW, HE COULD ALWAYS BE A BACK-ALLEY CARDIOLOGIST. 29 00:01:17,748 --> 00:01:22,253 "PSST, OYE. GET IN THE VAN. 30 00:01:22,253 --> 00:01:25,716 "I´M DOING ANGIOPLASTIES FOR 20 BUCKS. 31 00:01:25,716 --> 00:01:28,088 "AND I´LL THROW IN THE SPEAKERS, HUH? 32 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,662 YOU LIKE THE SUBWOOFER? HOW ABOUT THE TWEETERS, OKAY?" 33 00:01:33,864 --> 00:01:37,398 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES WHEN YOU DON´T GET WHAT YOU WANT, 34 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,800 YOU GOTTA WORK THE SYSTEM A LITTLE. 35 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,633 YOU KNOW, LIKE WHEN GRANDMA WANTS A FREE DINNER, SHE -- 36 00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:45,636 COMES TO OUR HOUSE? NO! 37 00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:48,779 SHE GOES TO A RESTAURANT AND LIES THAT IT´S HER BIRTHDAY. 38 00:01:48,779 --> 00:01:52,543 I WISH I COULD HAVE A FAKE BIRTHDAY PARTY. 39 00:01:52,543 --> 00:01:54,315 WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN. 40 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,786 HOW WOULD I DO THAT? 41 00:01:55,786 --> 00:01:58,889 FIRST YOU GOTTA FIND A BUNCH OF KIDS THAT DON´T KNOW 42 00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:02,523 WHEN YOUR REAL BIRTHDAY IS, YOU KNOW, KIDS YOU CAN FOOL. 43 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,196 THE KIDS FROM MY SPECIAL ED CLASS -- 44 00:02:05,196 --> 00:02:06,857 THEY BARELY KNOW ME. 45 00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:15,636 HEY, LOOK, 2-FOR-1 DAIQUIRIS. 46 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:20,871 YOU KNOW, THE DAIQUIRI IS NAMED AFTER A CUBAN RIVER. 47 00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:24,575 NOW IT JUST REMINDS ME HOW THINGS USED TO BE 48 00:02:24,575 --> 00:02:27,348 BEFORE THE REVOLUTION. 49 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:31,622 TODAY, I WOULDN´T DRINK A DAIQUIRI UNLESS IT WAS MADE 50 00:02:31,622 --> 00:02:35,256 FROM CASTRO´S FROZEN, SLUSHY BLOOD. 51 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:37,688 DOES THAT DAIQUIRI RIVER 52 00:02:37,688 --> 00:02:40,491 RUN INTO A VALLEY CALLED "GET OVER IT"? 53 00:02:40,491 --> 00:02:42,893 THREE BEERS. 54 00:02:42,893 --> 00:02:44,795 SORRY. MY MIND IS BURDENED. 55 00:02:44,795 --> 00:02:47,498 LOOK, VIC, MAN, I KNOW IT´S GONNA BE A WHILE 56 00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:49,700 BEFORE YOU CAN PRACTICE CARDIOLOGY, MAN, 57 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,171 BUT THINK OF IT THIS WAY -- 58 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,244 THERE´S A WHOLE GENERATION OUT THERE 59 00:02:53,244 --> 00:02:55,946 OF OBESE CHILDREN WHO ARE ONLY GETTING FATTER. 60 00:02:55,946 --> 00:02:59,380 HEY, CHA-CHING! 61 00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,753 THAT´S NOT WHAT´S TROUBLING ME. IT´S MY BROTHER OCTAVIO. 62 00:03:02,753 --> 00:03:05,816 HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING OUT OF CUBA THIS MONTH. 63 00:03:05,816 --> 00:03:09,760 BUT I FOUND OUT THIS MORNING THAT CASTRO WON´T LET HIM GO. 64 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,792 ANGIE DOESN´T KNOW, DOES SHE? 65 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,894 NO. I DIDN´T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HER. 66 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,926 SHE HASN´T SEEN HER UNCLE SINCE SHE WAS 12, 67 00:03:15,926 --> 00:03:18,299 AND NOW SHE MAY NEVER GET THE CHANCE. 68 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,400 YOU KNOW WHAT? 69 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,372 IF CASTRO WAS HERE RIGHT NOW, 70 00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:24,705 WE COULD TAKE TURNS KICKING HIS KHAKI-COVERED ASS. 71 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,807 I´D BE INTO THAT. ME TOO. 72 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,640 AND THEN WHILE HE WAS LAYING ON THE FLOOR 73 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,342 PICKING TEETH OUT OF HIS BEARD, 74 00:03:31,342 --> 00:03:34,285 WE COULD GO DOWN TO CUBA AND BUST MY BROTHER OUT. 75 00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:38,289 YOU´RE DAMN RIGHT WE COULD. JUST TRY AND STOP US! 76 00:03:38,289 --> 00:03:40,551 WE COULD USE MY BOAT. 77 00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:41,892 CALL HIM RIGHT NOW. I´LL GO. 78 00:03:41,892 --> 00:03:44,295 I´LL BE THE PIRATE OF THE CARIBBEAN. 79 00:03:44,295 --> 00:03:45,726 I GOT AN EYE PATCH. 80 00:03:47,658 --> 00:03:50,801 LET´S DO IT, GEORGE. LET´S GO GET HIM. 81 00:03:50,801 --> 00:03:53,704 I´LL BUY US PLANE TICKETS TONIGHT. 82 00:03:53,704 --> 00:03:56,307 WHOA, VIC, I WASN´T SERIOUS. 83 00:03:56,307 --> 00:03:58,609 THAT´S JUST BAR TALK. 84 00:03:58,609 --> 00:04:00,641 IF WE DID EVERYTHING WE SAID OVER A BEER, 85 00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,713 I´D BE PLAYING QUARTERBACK FOR THE RAIDERS 86 00:04:02,713 --> 00:04:04,545 AND ERNIE WOULD BE A FIGHTER PILOT. 87 00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:08,549 I´D BE "HOT WINGS." 88 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:11,952 THIS IS NOT A DELUSIONAL FANTASY FOR ME, HUH? 89 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,984 COME ON, IF OCTAVIO CAN GET A BOAT, 90 00:04:13,984 --> 00:04:16,357 WE COULD MEET HIM IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS 91 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:17,628 AND TAKE HIM TO FLORIDA. 92 00:04:17,628 --> 00:04:19,029 HE SETS ONE FOOT ON LAND, 93 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:21,362 FILLS OUT SOME PAPERWORK, AND THEN PAM-PAM, 94 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,593 HE GETS ASYLUM. 95 00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:23,994 LISTEN, VIC, 96 00:04:23,994 --> 00:04:25,996 WHAT CASTRO´S DOING TO YOUR BROTHER SUCKS, MAN, 97 00:04:25,996 --> 00:04:28,399 BUT I CAN´T GO. I GOT A FAMILY TO THINK ABOUT. 98 00:04:28,399 --> 00:04:30,801 SO, YOU´RE A BIG A-FRAIDY-CAT? 99 00:04:32,743 --> 00:04:35,976 [ Mockingly ] YES, I´M A BIG A-FRAIDY-CAT. 100 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,509 I´M AFRAID OF THE OCEAN, I´M AFRAID OF THE COAST GUARD, 101 00:04:38,509 --> 00:04:39,950 BUT MOST OF ALL, 102 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:42,413 I´M AFRAID OF WHAT ANGIE WOULD DO IF SHE FOUND OUT. 103 00:04:42,413 --> 00:04:44,054 WELL, YOU DON´T TELL HER. 104 00:04:44,054 --> 00:04:47,017 YOU JUST SURPRISE HER WITH OCTAVIO. 105 00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:50,361 THAT´S THE BEST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT EVER. 106 00:04:50,361 --> 00:04:54,325 OH, MAN, THAT WOULD BE A HELL OF A GIFT. 107 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,897 WHAT IF WE GET CAUGHT? 108 00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,899 WE´LL BE RESCUING A FAMILY MEMBER 109 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,501 WHO NEEDS POLITICAL ASYLUM. 110 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,902 THEY DON´T PROSECUTE. 111 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:05,035 YOU JUST GET A WRIST SLAPPING... 112 00:05:05,035 --> 00:05:08,479 PROBABLY. 113 00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:10,310 PROBABLY? 114 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,642 I WANNA GO. 115 00:05:11,642 --> 00:05:14,014 I WANNA HELP SOMEBODY GET THEIR FREEDOM. 116 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,817 PLUS, MAYBE THERE WOULD BE A WOMAN FLOATING OUT THERE 117 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,349 THAT I COULD MEET 118 00:05:18,349 --> 00:05:21,091 BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE IN AMERICA GOT A SHOT. 119 00:05:21,091 --> 00:05:24,094 I DON´T KNOW, VIC. 120 00:05:24,094 --> 00:05:26,797 SO, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, 121 00:05:26,797 --> 00:05:30,531 WHAT ANNIVERSARY GIFT ARE YOU PLANNING TO GIVE ANGIE? 122 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:34,064 WELL, I WAS GONNA MAKE THIS RED PAPIER-MâCHé HEART 123 00:05:34,064 --> 00:05:36,967 OUT OF TOILET PAPER ROLLS THAT SAYS -- 124 00:05:39,470 --> 00:05:41,111 ALL RIGHT, I´M IN. 125 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:48,579 [ "LOW RIDER" PLAYS ] 126 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,394 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA -- VIC, VIC, VIC -- 127 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,926 IF ANGIE´S GONNA BELIEVE OUR STORY, MAN, 128 00:06:35,926 --> 00:06:38,068 YOU GOTTA SIT HERE AND LOOK DEPRESSED. 129 00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:40,471 BUT I´M TOO EXCITED TO ACT DEPRESSED. 130 00:06:40,471 --> 00:06:43,133 YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU FOR A YOUNGER MAN. 131 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,138 PERFECT. 132 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,982 HOW´S MY DAD DOING? 133 00:06:51,982 --> 00:06:54,144 OH, NOT GOOD. 134 00:06:54,144 --> 00:06:55,616 POOR DADDY. 135 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,588 I HAVEN´T SEEN THAT LOOK ON HIS FACE 136 00:06:57,588 --> 00:06:59,790 SINCE I TOLD HIM WE WERE GETTING MARRIED. 137 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,894 HE´S SO LOW. I MEAN, HE´S TALKING CRAZY, ANGIE. 138 00:07:03,894 --> 00:07:05,856 HE WANTS TO TAKE ME AND ERNIE TO MIAMI 139 00:07:05,856 --> 00:07:08,028 FOR A WEEKEND FISHING TRIP ON HIS BOAT. 140 00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,501 I THINK THAT´S A GREAT IDEA. 141 00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,663 NO, ANGIE. FISHING WITH YOUR DAD? 142 00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:15,135 IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. PLEASE? 143 00:07:17,908 --> 00:07:19,439 OKAY. 144 00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:30,781 GEORGE IS GOING OUT OF TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND AND I GOT A SEMINAR. 145 00:07:30,781 --> 00:07:31,852 CAN YOU WATCH THE KIDS? 146 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,484 SURE. 147 00:07:33,484 --> 00:07:35,856 I GUESS I CAN THINK OF SOMETHING TO KEEP THEM BUSY. 148 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,088 THANKS. 149 00:07:38,088 --> 00:07:39,830 SO YOUR MOM WILL BE WORKING LATE 150 00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:41,932 AND YOUR DAD WILL BE OUT OF TOWN. 151 00:07:41,932 --> 00:07:44,935 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. 152 00:07:44,935 --> 00:07:47,798 GET YOUR CLASS LIST. WE´LL START CALLING. 153 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,470 ALL RIGHT. 154 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,944 JAMIE ANDERSON. 155 00:07:53,944 --> 00:07:57,878 HI. THIS IS BENITA LOPEZ, MAX LOPEZ´S GRANDMA. 156 00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,811 I KNOW THAT THIS IS LAST MINUTE, 157 00:08:00,811 --> 00:08:03,754 BUT MAX IS GONNA HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY THIS SUNDAY, 158 00:08:03,754 --> 00:08:06,216 AND HE WOULD BE CRUSHED IF JAMIE COULDN´T COME. 159 00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:08,118 HE´S CRAZY ABOUT HER. HIM. 160 00:08:08,118 --> 00:08:11,822 I´M SORRY -- HIM. I´VE HAD A FEW. 161 00:08:11,822 --> 00:08:13,263 OH, GREAT. 162 00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:14,965 I BET THE BIRTHDAY BOY 163 00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:19,530 WOULD LIKE A "MARTIAN SNIPER 2" VIDEO GAME. 164 00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,272 THANK YOU. 165 00:08:22,272 --> 00:08:24,134 THIS IS GONNA BE PERFECT. 166 00:08:24,134 --> 00:08:28,238 OH, NO, IT´S NOT. ´CAUSE I´M TELLING MOM AND DAD. 167 00:08:28,238 --> 00:08:31,011 ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? 168 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,243 YOU GOTTA ASK ONE OF YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS 169 00:08:33,243 --> 00:08:35,946 FOR A PINK T-SHIRT THAT SAYS "PARTY GIRL" ON IT. 170 00:08:35,946 --> 00:08:38,589 NO WAY! THEY´RE GONNA THINK IT´S FOR ME. 171 00:08:38,589 --> 00:08:41,291 YUP. 172 00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:43,854 IT´S A ROTTEN THING TO DO. 173 00:08:43,854 --> 00:08:45,195 I KNOW. 174 00:08:45,195 --> 00:08:48,058 AND I HATE THAT YOU´RE GONNA ASK THE NEXT KID 175 00:08:48,058 --> 00:08:50,300 FOR ROACH TRAPS AND FLIP FLOPS. 176 00:08:51,562 --> 00:08:55,135 I GOT A LITTLE INSECT PROBLEM AT THE HOUSE. 177 00:08:58,268 --> 00:09:01,271 [ VIC MOANING ] 178 00:09:01,271 --> 00:09:03,674 VIC, DO YOU SEE OCTAVIO? 179 00:09:03,674 --> 00:09:05,876 NO. JUST MY LUNCH. 180 00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:09,920 PLEASE, DEAR GOD, MAKE THE ROCKING STOP. 181 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,983 THIS IS YOUR FISHING BOAT, MAN. HOW COULD YOU BE SEASICK? 182 00:09:12,983 --> 00:09:14,855 I DON´T GO ON THE OCEAN. 183 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,757 I JUST PUTTER AROUND BISCAYNE BAY 184 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,158 TO IMPRESS MY FRIENDS. 185 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,631 I SHOW THEM THE BACK OF GLORIA ESTEFAN´S HOUSE 186 00:09:20,631 --> 00:09:23,734 AND THEN I GO HOME. 187 00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:25,636 I´M GONNA LIE DOWN. 188 00:09:34,144 --> 00:09:36,146 WHOA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! 189 00:09:36,146 --> 00:09:38,779 I´M THROWING CHUM IN THE WATER. I´M GONNA FISH. 190 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:41,011 ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU´RE ATTRACTING SHARKS. 191 00:09:41,011 --> 00:09:43,313 HEY, MAN, OCTAVIO NEEDS TO PUT ONE FOOT ON AMERICAN SOIL 192 00:09:43,313 --> 00:09:44,815 TO GET ASYLUM. 193 00:09:44,815 --> 00:09:46,687 YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT´S GONNA BE 194 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:49,920 IF HE DOESN´T HAVE ANY LEGS? 195 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,622 HEY, GEORGE. 196 00:09:51,622 --> 00:09:55,896 GEORGE, LOOK, THERE´S SOME GUYS ON A RAFT-BOX-TIRE THING. 197 00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,801 OCTAVIO! HEY, THEY´RE -- THEY´RE WAVING. 198 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,332 OCTAVIO! HEY! 199 00:10:02,332 --> 00:10:04,204 OCTAVIO! HEY! 200 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,936 Man: HEY! 201 00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:07,878 VIC! [ VIC MOANS ] 202 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:09,710 GET UP HERE, MAN. WE FOUND YOUR BROTHER. 203 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,611 I´M COMING. I´M COMING. 204 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,213 HEY! OVER HERE! 205 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,085 OVER HERE! OCTAVIO! 206 00:10:15,085 --> 00:10:19,950 Ernie: HEY! WE GOT HIM, EH? 207 00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:21,722 OVER HERE. 208 00:10:23,694 --> 00:10:25,696 WELCOME ABOARD, OCTAVIO. 209 00:10:28,158 --> 00:10:29,830 VIC, WE DID IT! 210 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,902 WE DID IT. WE DID IT, VIC. 211 00:10:31,902 --> 00:10:34,705 SAY HELLO TO YOUR BROTHER OCTAVIO. 212 00:10:36,707 --> 00:10:38,707 THAT´S NOT OCTAVIO. 213 00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:38,869 WHO ARE YOU? 214 00:10:38,869 --> 00:10:42,242 [ SPEAKING FRENCH ] 215 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,215 THIS IS A HAITIAN. 216 00:10:45,215 --> 00:10:47,848 WHEN YOU RESCUE A RELATIVE, IT´S A SLAP ON THE WRIST. 217 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,850 OH, MAN, WHERE DO THEY SLAP YOU 218 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,122 WHEN YOU´RE CAUGHT WITH A BOATLOAD OF HAITIANS? 219 00:10:52,122 --> 00:10:54,324 WELL, THAT´S CONSIDERED SMUGGLING. 220 00:10:54,324 --> 00:10:57,087 YOU GO TO JAIL FOR FIVE YEARS. 221 00:10:57,087 --> 00:11:00,330 FIVE YEARS? WHAT AM I GONNA TELL ANGIE AND THE KIDS? 222 00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:05,035 WHAT AM I GONNA TELL MY MOM? SHE THINKS I´M AT EPCOT! 223 00:11:15,405 --> 00:11:17,778 MAN, THESE GUYS ARE EATING 224 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,110 LIKE THEY NEVER HAD A PIZZA BAGEL BEFORE. 225 00:11:22,012 --> 00:11:24,815 WHERE THE HELL IS OCTAVIO? 226 00:11:24,815 --> 00:11:26,917 HE RADIOED ME THESE EXACT COORDINATES. 227 00:11:26,917 --> 00:11:28,688 HE SHOULD BE HERE. 228 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,021 OH, MY GOD! IT´S A COAST GUARD PLANE! 229 00:11:31,021 --> 00:11:33,023 THEY FOUND US! GEORGE! 230 00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:36,326 DUDE, THAT´S A PELICAN! 231 00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:38,098 THIS IS CRAZY! 232 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,200 WE CAN´T GO TO JAIL FOR A BUNCH OF GUYS WE DON´T KNOW. 233 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,972 I´M GONNA CALL THE COAST GUARD, 234 00:11:41,972 --> 00:11:43,874 TELL THEM WE RESCUED SOME HAITIANS AND END THIS THING. 235 00:11:43,874 --> 00:11:46,907 AND WHAT IF OCTAVIO COMES WHEN THE COAST GUARD IS HERE? 236 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,909 DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM 237 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,110 IF HE WAS SENT BACK TO CUBA? 238 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:53,944 FINE. WE´LL KEEP LOOKING. 239 00:11:53,944 --> 00:11:55,946 ERNIE, MAKES SURE THESE GUYS STAY DOWN HERE. 240 00:11:55,946 --> 00:11:57,948 HEY, GEORGE, DON´T LEAVE ME. WE´RE OUT OF FOOD. 241 00:11:57,948 --> 00:12:00,220 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I DON´T CARE. 242 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:04,124 BUTTER YOURSELF UP AND PLAY KEEP-AWAY. 243 00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:12,833 OH, GREAT. A "PARTY GIRL" T-SHIRT. 244 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,204 YOU KNOW WHAT? 245 00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:16,236 WHY DON´T YOU HELP YOURSELF TO SOME PUNCH 246 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,138 AND WHATEVER´S LEFT OF THE COOKIE. 247 00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:21,241 MOM JUST CALLED. SHE´S COMING HOME EARLY. 248 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,243 WE GOTTA GET THEM OUT OF HERE. 249 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,375 BUT WE DIDN´T SING OR DO THE CAKE. 250 00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:26,416 RIGHT. 251 00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:28,378 OKAY, KIDS. GET OVER HERE. 252 00:12:28,378 --> 00:12:32,282 COME ON, MOVE IT OR LOSE IT. 253 00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:36,086 NOW, FOR OUR SONG TODAY, WE HAVE OUR OWN SPECIAL VERSION, 254 00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:38,358 AND I´M SURE THAT YOU KIDS WILL LOVE IT. 255 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,960 ALL RIGHT... 256 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,291 ♫ IT´S YOUR BIRTHDAY HERE´S YOUR SONG ♫ 257 00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:42,462 ♫ NOW YOUR SONG IS OVER ♫ 258 00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:46,196 WHOA! OH, MY GOODNESS, FELL RIGHT ON THE GROUND. 259 00:12:46,196 --> 00:12:48,338 CAN´T EAT IT. LET´S GO. 260 00:12:48,338 --> 00:12:50,770 WE NEVER PLAYED ANY GAMES. 261 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,173 OKAY. WE´RE GONNA PLAY A GAME CALLED "CLOWN CAR." 262 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:56,776 ALL YOU CLOWNS ARE GONNA PILE INTO MY CAR, AND THEN I´M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME. 263 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,348 LET´S GO. 264 00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:02,552 HERE, YEAH, OKAY. 265 00:13:05,155 --> 00:13:09,159 HEY, I SEE THE COASTLINE. 266 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,423 I HAVE FAILED OCTAVIO. 267 00:13:13,423 --> 00:13:15,325 VIC, WE HAD TO COME BACK, MAN. 268 00:13:15,325 --> 00:13:16,997 WE WERE RUNNING OUT OF FUEL. 269 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,468 COME ON, WE HAD A GOOD DAY. 270 00:13:18,468 --> 00:13:22,472 WE GOT SOME SUN, WE SAVED A FEW HAITIANS. 271 00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:26,136 YOU PUKED UP THOSE FIVE POUNDS YOU WERE TRYING TO LOSE. 272 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:30,010 MY BROTHER IS FLOATING SOMEWHERE IN THE OCEAN, 273 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,942 AND YOU MAKE THE FUNNIES. 274 00:13:31,942 --> 00:13:33,413 LOOK, MAN. 275 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,385 MAYBE SOMEBODY ELSE PICKED HIM UP. 276 00:13:35,385 --> 00:13:37,948 I MEAN, WE TRIED, VIC. WE DID OUR BEST. 277 00:13:37,948 --> 00:13:40,490 Ernie: HEY, CHECK IT OUT, THERE´S ANOTHER BOAT OF HAITIANS 278 00:13:40,490 --> 00:13:43,823 AND THEY GOT A SIGN THAT SAYS, "VIC PALMERO." 279 00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:50,100 Vic: THAT LOOKS LIKE OCTAVIO. 280 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:51,831 CUT THE ENGINE, ERNIE. 281 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:56,867 Vic: MI HERMANO! MI HERMANO! 282 00:13:58,568 --> 00:14:01,371 OCTAVIO! MI HERMANO! 283 00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:04,374 VICTOR! OCTAVIO! 284 00:14:04,374 --> 00:14:07,347 I HAVE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THIS MOMENT. 285 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,550 YOUR KISSES SMELL LIKE VOMIT! 286 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,424 I DIDN´T SEE -- 287 00:14:14,424 --> 00:14:16,426 I DIDN´T SEE YOU AT THE MEETING POINT, 288 00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,288 SO I WENT FOR LAND. 289 00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:21,491 IT DOESN´T MATTER NOW. WE ARE TOGETHER. 290 00:14:21,491 --> 00:14:24,164 THIS IS GEORGE, ANGIE´S HUSBAND. 291 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,997 THE ONE WHO KEPT HER FROM COLLEGE? 292 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,571 OCTAVIO, WELCOME TO AMERICA, 293 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:34,044 THE LAND OF THE FREE AND THE HOME OF THE BRAVE. 294 00:14:34,044 --> 00:14:36,907 YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO FEAR AN OPPRESSIVE GOVERNMENT. 295 00:14:36,907 --> 00:14:39,049 Man: [ On bullhorn ] THIS IS THE COAST GUARD. 296 00:14:39,049 --> 00:14:41,451 ANCHOR YOUR VESSEL. 297 00:14:41,451 --> 00:14:44,514 SWIM! SWIM FOR YOUR LIVES! 298 00:14:44,514 --> 00:14:47,457 SWIM! 299 00:14:47,457 --> 00:14:50,320 GIVE THE HAITIANS A HEAD START! 300 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,628 HEY. IS YOUR MOM HOME YET? 301 00:14:58,628 --> 00:15:00,030 NOPE. GOOD. 302 00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:01,331 WHERE ARE YOUR PRESENTS? 303 00:15:01,331 --> 00:15:04,004 HIDDEN UNDER MY BED, JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME. 304 00:15:05,475 --> 00:15:08,238 HEY, GUYS. 305 00:15:08,238 --> 00:15:11,381 MAX, I KNOW YOU WERE DISAPPOINTED 306 00:15:11,381 --> 00:15:15,045 YOU COULDN´T GET THAT NEW VIDEO GAME YOU WANTED, 307 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:19,449 SO I PICKED YOU UP A LITTLE SURPRISE. 308 00:15:19,449 --> 00:15:22,252 A PUZZLE. 309 00:15:22,252 --> 00:15:23,623 A POLAR BEAR PUZZLE. 310 00:15:26,096 --> 00:15:28,328 ICEBERG -- ALL THOSE WHITE PIECES 311 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,630 ARE SURE GONNA BE A BIG CHALLENGE. 312 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,963 SORRY I´M LATE. 313 00:15:32,963 --> 00:15:35,265 I WENT TO ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PARTY WITH MY SISTER. 314 00:15:35,265 --> 00:15:37,507 MY SOCIAL LIFE IS ON FIRE. 315 00:15:39,269 --> 00:15:42,412 HERE. I GOT YOU ROACH TRAPS AND FLIP FLOPS. 316 00:15:43,513 --> 00:15:46,316 MAX, WHAT´S HE TALKING ABOUT? 317 00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,318 GRANDMA THREW ME A BIRTHDAY PARTY 318 00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:50,150 SO I COULD GET PRESENTS. 319 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:53,123 MAX! 320 00:15:53,123 --> 00:15:56,686 YOU FAKED YOUR BIRTHDAY? 321 00:15:56,686 --> 00:15:59,329 AND YOU ARRANGED IT? 322 00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:02,262 ANGIE, I SWEAR ON MY SON´S LIFE -- 323 00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:05,365 I GOT HERE LATE, I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS GOING ON. 324 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:08,368 I AM AS SHOCKED AS YOU. 325 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:13,173 BENNY, I COUNTED ON YOU. THERE HAS TO BE AN ADULT HERE. 326 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,546 ABSOLUTELY. NEXT TIME. 327 00:16:16,546 --> 00:16:18,508 YOU ARE GROUNDED! 328 00:16:18,508 --> 00:16:21,051 AND YOU´RE GONNA RETURN ALL THE GIFTS YOU GOT. MOM -- 329 00:16:21,051 --> 00:16:22,752 THAT´S NOT ALL. 330 00:16:22,752 --> 00:16:25,655 YOU´RE GONNA GIVE EACH OF THESE KIDS A TOY OF YOURS IN RETURN. 331 00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:28,588 NOW, BEFORE I TAKE HIM HOME, APOLOGIZE. 332 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:33,993 I´M SORRY, DAVE. HERE´S ONE OF MY TOYS. 333 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,596 NOW, WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED? 334 00:16:52,742 --> 00:16:59,018 OYE, CHICA, SAY HELLO TO YOUR LITTLE FRIEND. 335 00:16:59,389 --> 00:17:01,151 HOW WAS THE TRIP? GREAT. 336 00:17:01,151 --> 00:17:03,523 AND I PICKED UP A LITTLE ANNIVERSARY PRESENT 337 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,196 OUTSIDE OF MIAMI. 338 00:17:06,196 --> 00:17:08,498 YOU WEREN´T SUPPOSED TO SPEND ANY MONEY. 339 00:17:08,498 --> 00:17:09,529 CLOSE YOUR EYES. 340 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,331 I -- WHAT? CLOSE YOUR EYES. 341 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,732 OKAY. 342 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:15,235 KEEP THEM CLOSED. ALL RIGHT. 343 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,342 George: OKAY. OPEN THEM. 344 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:29,519 MY LITTLE ANGIE, LOOK AT YOU, ALL GROWN UP. 345 00:17:29,519 --> 00:17:32,152 MY GOD, UNCLE OCTAVIO. 346 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:35,585 ANGIE, CASTRO WASN´T GOING TO LET HIM LEAVE CUBA. 347 00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:37,627 I LOST ALL HOPE OF COMING. 348 00:17:37,627 --> 00:17:39,559 BUT THIS BRAVE MAN AND YOUR FATHER 349 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,491 WENT INTO THE OCEAN TO GET ME. 350 00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:43,263 THEY WERE A LITTLE LATE 351 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:45,595 AND WE HAD TO OUTRUN THE COAST GUARD. 352 00:17:45,595 --> 00:17:48,498 YOU´RE KILLING THE MOMENT. 353 00:17:48,498 --> 00:17:51,401 OH, MY GOD, GEORGE, THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING 354 00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:53,673 ANYONE´S EVER DONE FOR ME. 355 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,275 Vic: COME ON, OCTAVIO. 356 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,647 LET´S TAKE YOUR STUFF UPSTAIRS. 357 00:17:57,647 --> 00:18:00,410 TOMORROW, WE´LL GO TO A SUPERMARKET, 358 00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:04,684 AND I´LL SHOW YOU PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY IN THE SAME JAR. 359 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,187 WHAT IS PEANUT BUTTER? 360 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:10,420 WHAT IS TOOTHPASTE THAT WHITENS AND BRIGHTENS? 361 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:15,165 WHAT IS HOT DOG WITH CHEESE ALREADY INSIDE IT? 362 00:18:15,165 --> 00:18:20,200 THAT, MI HERMANO, IS THE SWEET TASTE OF FREEDOM. 363 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:29,339 I´M BLOWN AWAY. I DON´T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 364 00:18:29,339 --> 00:18:30,880 DON´T SAY ANYTHING. 365 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,643 I´M SURE YOU GOT ME SOMETHING JUST AS SPECIAL. 366 00:18:41,851 --> 00:18:43,653 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. 367 00:18:43,653 --> 00:18:46,125 WHAT´S THIS? 368 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,728 I MADE YOU A MIX TAPE FROM THE YEAR WE MET. 369 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,761 SO I FLEW ACROSS THE COUNTRY, 370 00:18:51,761 --> 00:18:54,734 RISKED MY LIFE ON THE OCEAN, 371 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,706 AND YOU GIVE ME A TAPE WITH... 372 00:18:56,706 --> 00:19:01,211 "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO"? 373 00:19:01,211 --> 00:19:04,344 I´M SORRY. 374 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:05,675 I LOVE IT. 375 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,421 HERE´S YOUR REAL GIFT. 376 00:19:11,421 --> 00:19:13,453 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY. 377 00:19:21,591 --> 00:19:23,463 WHAT IS THIS? 378 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,295 I MADE IT. 379 00:19:27,497 --> 00:19:29,239 WHAT ABOUT OCTAVIO? 380 00:19:29,239 --> 00:19:33,273 OH, ANGIE, HE´S FAMILY. I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT ANYWAY. 381 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:36,306 OH, GEORGE. 382 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,610 I LOVE IT. 383 00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:43,713 IT´S LOPSIDED... 384 00:19:43,713 --> 00:19:45,685 IT´S DENTED. 385 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,717 IT LOOKS LIKE A 3-YEAR-OLD DID IT. 386 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:53,963 I LOVE THAT IT CAME FROM YOUR HEART. 387 00:19:53,963 --> 00:19:57,196 IT SUCKS, BUT IT´S STILL BETTER THAN A MIX TAPE. 388 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,928 HEY! 389 00:20:03,273 --> 00:20:06,706 YOU KNOW, IF CASTRO WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, 390 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,678 I WOULD TAKE AN OLD RUSTY RAZOR, 391 00:20:08,678 --> 00:20:12,742 SHAVE THAT BEARD OFF AND POUR VINEGAR ALL OVER HIS FACE. 392 00:20:12,742 --> 00:20:14,684 OOH, THE STINGING. 393 00:20:14,684 --> 00:20:18,588 IF CASTRO WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, 394 00:20:18,588 --> 00:20:22,592 I WOULD TRAIN A PACK OF DOGS JUST TO ATTACK CIGARS. 395 00:20:22,592 --> 00:20:26,826 THEN WHEN HE STARTED SMOKING, THEY WOULD DESTROY HIS FACE. 396 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:29,829 IF HE WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, 397 00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,532 I WOULD RIP HIS HEAD OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS 398 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:33,833 AND PUT IT ON BACKWARDS, 399 00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,636 SO THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO LOOK AT HIS OWN BUTT 400 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,368 WHILE I KICKED IT. 401 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,572 IT´S GO TIME! 27889

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