Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Hello.

My name is Dylan.

Um...

So, I've been following this wolf group for about...

three months.

Really enjoying the community.

And the content.

I've wanted to become an official member of the group

for quite some time, so tomorrow,

I will begin the hunt.

This girl.

Heather.

And her two friends.

Her handle is @theheatherlife.

She's a lifestyle influencer.

She's already got 17,000 followers

and is growing steadily,

so you can go follow her, too.

I've been following her...

online...

and in person for a while.

And I think that she will be the perfect prey.

Hey, sorry, I can't find my, uh...

Yeah, I'll be there in one sec.

No, I told you I don't have to go back until Friday.

I got the day off.

Okay, I'll be there one sec.

As always, any wolves in the area

are more than welcome to participate.

Have you see anything about that pipeline in New Mexico?

Um, not really. What's happening?

There she is.

Lookin' fine as always.

I think this can be a...

really big moment

for our brand...

for... our movement.

And for our community.

Last road trip with my number ones.

...friggin' leaving me,

so I need to hear a "whoo" on three.

- One, two, three. - Whoo!

- One, two, three. - Whoo!

What do you think?

Think of what?

The yearly retreat.

Let's go, Heather.

- This is disgusting. - What?

The protest in New Mexico. We should go there right now.

Um, I don't think that Heather's gonna be into

another two hour drive to New Mexico.

God, this is beyond fucked.

I shouldn't be here. I should be with them.

Didn't you get maced last year?

Yeah. Cops were fucking assholes.

And weren't you in the hospital for, like, two days?

Yeah, I was. Why?

Maybe you oughta...

What?

I don't know, maybe you don't want to put yourself...

Say it. What do you mean?

Nothing.

No, Sam. Put myself where?

Nothing.

That's the first passerby in ten minutes.

What the fuck is he doing?

Sorry, guys.

Shitty bladder.

Is he watching us?

Heather.

Relax. It's not like we've never seen creeps on this trip before.

Maybe we should just go.

Riley. Let's go.

Sick fucking truck, dude.

Guess we've had our annual redneck, small dick creep drive by.

So fucked up.

Well, then, stop watching it, Riley.

Okay, I'm gonna get some supplies.

Okay. I'll come with.

Riley, don't.

- Riley. - What's that for?

I'm just curious.

How could you possibly justify having that poster on your wall?

Riley, can we please just go?

- Riley, let's go. - You get the fuck out of my store!

- Fuck you and fuck your store! - Get the fuck outta here!

- What? - You didn't have to do that.

Oh, come on. You were thinking the same thing.

He shouldn't have that up in his store.

Well, you didn't have to make a scene.

Well, Sam, maybe we should make a scene!

- What? - Nothing. Just forget it.

What happened to you guys?

Nothing, let's just go.

Did you guys hear that Jamie Rennick died?

- Jamie? - Who?

Uh, she was on me and Heather's dorm floor freshman yeah.

I feel like I should post something about it.

You never even liked her.

She used to set the fire alarm off 'cause she smoked so much.

Yeah, she was annoying but we were friends.

Did you say she was murdered?

Yeah.

Poor Jamie.

Do they know who did it?

No, but it's probably one of those assholes she dates.

She dated two consecutive psychos freshman year.

She had to call the cops on one of them.

Does it say?

No, but I bet that's what it was.

Fuck.

I mean, at some point, you kind of expect it.

What?

I mean, like, she would always go to bars

and look for the biggest psycho there

and hook up with him just for attention.

- So you're saying she deserved it? - No!

No, I'm just sayin'.

Can we just not talk about this?

Yeah, good idea.

Let's enjoy this A/C while we have it.

We're here. Woo!

Drive was fuckin' long.

It is so fuckin' hot.

It's August. What do you expect?

But is it always this hot?

Oh, please don't complain the whole time.

Sunscreen. Does anyone need sunscreen?

Yes, please. Frickin' fried last year.

Sam, please tell me you brought your inhaler.

Got it, Mom.

Okay.

Let's go.

At least this is better than

when you dragged us to Star Trek freshman year.

Yes.

Okay, cool.

Come on. That was rough.

- You know that was rough. - That's embarrassing.

Hello! We're out here in the wilderness,

it is very hot,

and we're about half a mile in and having lots of fun.

- Right guys? - Mm.

Are you gonna do that the whole time?

- Do what? - Make those videos.

Not the whole time, but, yeah.

You're so into this influencer stuff now, aren't you?

Okay, hey, it pays the bills.

There's a skincare product line that literally pays me $100

- just to use their stuff. - Oh, high roller!

Do you even like the products you're promoting?

Sometimes, but, hey,

it's better than that weed store you work at.

It was a medical marijuana dispensary.

- Speaking of which... - Oh, no. No, no no, not for me.

- Should we repeat last year's adventure? - Oh, God.

- Sam! - No.

Wait. I don't want to do it alone.

Nope. That shit makes me feel weird.

Sammy?

Maybe later.

Okay. Fine.

I'm just gonna take one.

I thought you were quitting?

No. Definitely not.

They're gonna let your stoner ass

bring that shit to Senegal?

Probably not.

Gotta make the most of it.

What about you, Sam, do you still smoke at all?

Sometimes, but it makes me paranoid.

Oh, my God.

I remember when I gave you two edibles,

and you locked yourself in the bathroom for, like, three hours.

It was not three hours.

- Oh, my God. - Yes, it was. We were all worried.

But Sam's always been a scaredy-cat.

That's probably why she took all those fighting classes last year.

Uh, no. That was because of Ralph.

Um, have you heard from him recently?

No, the restraining order shut him up, funnily enough.

- He was a nightmare. - Yep.

Is he still in that apartment?

His parents made him move.

And then he started seeing a therapist or something

and now he's in Denver, at least that's what I heard.

Well, at least he's not bothering you anymore.

Yep.

Have I mentioned how fucking hot it is?

Oh, my God! This is why we called you "Heat."

No. No, no, no, no, no.

They... You guys called me heat

because those boys freshman year thought I was a "smoke show."

Oh, my God, no!

They called you Heat because you used to

sweat through your shirt at every party.

Bullshit!

No, that's definitely what is was. Right, Sam?

I don't remember.

No, that... that's it.

Yeah.

You guys.

Let's stop for a sec.

I think this place gets hotter every year.

Fucking global warming.

I bet you that guy at the gas station

doesn't even believe in it.

Do either of you guys have a portable charger?

Yeah. I got you.

Thanks.

Damn. You get really good reception out here.

- That's weird. - What?

Just got a DM, "I see you."

From who?

That can't be the first time.

Don't you have, like, 15,000 followers now?

17,000, and yeah, I get weirdos all the time.

- He sent a pic, too. - Ew. Delete it.

No, no, no, just one of the woods.

Where is that?

I don't know. Looks like here.

That's weird. Did he say anything else?

Nope.

Fuck off, creep.

It's probably just some weirdo.

I get weird messages from creepy dudes all the time.

Well, at least it wasn't a dick pic.

Oh, I can make a coffee table book

- with all those that I've gotten. - Oh, my God.

- Do you guys think... - What?

No, it's probably just some weirdo that saw my story.

- But how would they... - What?

No. Fuck that.

We're not gonna let some creep ruin our trip.

That's the fuckin' spirit.

Just gets heavier and heavier.

Hotter and hotter.

Okay, it's time.

Oh, God.

Hello!

We've broken a sweat.

I'm here with Riley. Say hi, Riley.

Hi, Riley.

And my other best, Sam.

Hi.

They're really happy, you just can't tell.

Okay, mile four,

and we're really starting to feel the heat.

How are you doing, Riley?

My sports bra...

Mile five down.

My girl Slam lookin' fine as always.

Mile six and we're takin' a little break.

Sam is havin' a little nap.

- Fuck off. - Ooh!

- How is that? - This apple?

The best apple I think I've ever had.

- Ever had? - Mm-hm.

Okay.

You all good?

Been havin' radio trouble all day.

Hey, uh,

how many hunting licenses did we give out this season?

Uh, 20, I think.

We give out any, uh, like, crossbow hunting licenses?

Bow hunting?

No, not that I know of. Why?

Yeah, you might want to call the county.

We could have a poaching situation.

Is he hunting or just target practice?

Yeah, it might just be target practice.

But I'll ask him.

All right. Find out and let me know.

Jake?

Jake, you still there?

Jake?

Jake, you still there?

- What the hell? - Where's the fucking lake?

- Fuck. - This is the spot, right?

Yeah, this is it.

Why is it so dry?

Climate change, that's why.

Less snowfall means less water.

Fucking bullshit.

Fuck it. I'm going in.

- What? In that? - Yeah, it's hot.

- Come on. - Fuck that.

Sammy. Come on.

It's so hot.

Get in the lake, then.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Someone's watching us.

That's weird.

Whoo!

Someone's watching us.

That's weird.

What was that?

Oh, that's fucking weird.

Did you see his face? It looked like he's wearing a mask.

A mask? Looks like a hat.

He's fucking creepy.

Hey, my phone's on low. Do you have the phone charger?

I gave that to Riley.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.

Yeah, you go in the puddle with it.

Oh, great.

- So this means we can't charge? - Nope.

- I was only at 25 percent. - I'm at 35.

Heather.

Maybe you shouldn't do that. Isn't your phone gonna die?

I'm gonna use this for stories.

We can use Sam's for emergencies.

Hello, here we are at mile... seven?

- Seven and a half. - Seven and a half,

and we've made it to this once beautiful, beautiful oasis

that is now a giant pit of despair.

But it's okay, 'cause I'm still with my gorgeous friends.

- Say hi, Sam. - Can you not right now?

Okay, well...

You just ruined it.

Hello! Here we are at mile seven and a half,

and we're at what used to be

the most gorgeous, gorgeous oasis,

that is now a giant pit of despair.

But I'm with my gorgeous friends,

and Riley just ruined my phone charger,

so I'm a little bit upset about that,

and might be off the grid later.

But, good news is, we're only about three...

- Three miles. - Three miles

until we get to our favorite spot to camp

where someday, people will build

a giant statue of the three of us,

and it will be bronze and it will be beautiful.

Okay, let's go.

Okay, I don't care if the lake is dry,

we are still getting a fucking picture.

Oh, Heather is serious.

She's brining out the tripod.

How else are we gonna get a picture of the three of us?

Is that what this is all for, the picture?

No.

No, Sam.

It's for the stories, too.

It's gonna take three. It's gonna take in five seconds.

Hurry up, guys.

Come on, come on, come on.

Perfect. Let's see.

Oh, my God, yes. One of these is definitely post-able.

Shall we?

Tripod.

Oh!

- No. - Come on, Riley.

You know you want to.

I am not singing that fucking song.

♪ Ayyyye ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ She's normally pretty chill ♪

♪ But she's feeling kinda ill ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ She says she doesn't care ♪

♪ But she's got vomit in her hair ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ Her major's poli-sci ♪

♪ But she ain't feelin' very fly ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ We got a puker ♪

♪ Splish, splash, sploosh ♪

♪ If you're hot don't be a douche ♪

Oh, my God, I can't believe

you guys remember that song.

Didn't we make it up at that freshman year...

we were at that frat house?

Oh, yeah, you were super ill in the bathroom.

We were just trying to cheer you up,

made up that stupid song,

and the next thing we know, the whole house is singing it.

We should all get a tattoo.

On our asses.

That's the last thing we should do

before you guys leave.

When do you leave, Sam?

Uh, my flight is booked for the 28th.

What about you, Riley?

Twenty-ninth.

Fuck.

Yeah. End of an era.

Yep.

You guys gotta visit me, though. Both of you.

Me, too.

Well, Boston sounds cool, but...

Senegal?

No. I mean, they give us time off.

We could, like, meet up in...

Germany?

Oh, fuck yeah, Germany.

So, what kind of stuff are you gonna be doing in Senegal?

Lots of building.

Uh, creating fresh, clean water sources.

We're gonna be working with schools and hospitals.

Guys.

He's back.

Oh, come on. This guy again!

Heather, you should probably flash him. That's what he wants.

Hey, asshole!

You think you're real cute with your creeper camo act?

I want you to know that my girl, Sam, here

is a kickboxing badass,

and she has her black belt in beating up creeps like you.

So if you come any closer,

you're leading yourself into a world of pain.

Kickboxing badass?

It's all about perception.

Oh, that's real cute! Yeah, we're so scared.

Lotta balls on a guy to message a girl anonymously.

That's fucking creepy.

Blocked.

And that's how you deal with a creeper asshole, ladies.

You should have filmed that.

That was the most interesting thing you've done all day.

Shit! You're right.

You think he'll do it again?

What the fuck! That could have hit us.

Hey, motherfucker, that wasn't fucking funny!

Heather!

- Come back here, you asshole prick! - Heather, wait.

Swear to God, I'll kill you if I see you again,

- you tiny dick fuck! - Heather, we shouldn't split up.

Heather.

That was fucking bullshit, Riley.

- You're right. - No, that could have hit us.

It was two feet from Sam's head.

But you scared him off. He's gone now.

We have to go back to Sam.

Come on.

Okay, I think we need to head back.

What? Head back just because of this asshole creep?

He shot an arrow at us.

Well, it wasn't at us.

Are you kidding me? It was right there.

It's gonna get dark soon. We should head back.

I don't think we're gonna make it to the car before dark.

Can we call a cop or something?

Fuck the cops, they're not gonna come out here.

We should just call the forest service,

and tell them there's a guy that's shooting arrows at hikers.

Okay.

I'm at ten percent.

I'm at 14. I can call.

Della County Forest.

Hi, um, me and two of my friends have been hiking on...

- The Bennet Trail for a while. - On the Bennet Trail,

and we would... we would like to report that somebody just shot at us.

You were shot at?

Yes. We think you should send a ranger.

Wait. Someone shot at you with a gun?

No, um, with an arrow.

An arrow? Is anyone hurt?

No, he missed us. He... He wasn't aiming at us.

But can you please just send a ranger?

So wait.

Nobody was hurt.

No, but...

he was trying to hurt us.

Is he still trying to hurt you?

No, he disappeared.

Can you please just send a ranger?

Listen,

based on what you told me, it sounds like you might have

stumbled across somebody doing target practice.

We advise that anyone out in federal land

let their presence be known at all times

to avoid any accidents.

This was not a fucking accident.

Someone shot at us!

Look, I understand you're upset.

I'm just trying to get accurate information.

Look, he's gone now, but could you please just sent a ranger?

One of our rangers is already out there,

but I think his comm's out of range.

Once he gets back in range,

I'll have him head your way.

- You said you're off the Bennet Trail? - Yes.

Okay. Thank you.

Once again, there's a lot of hunters

and a lot of people doing target practice out there.

Just make sure your presence is known at all times,

and be safe.

Okay. Thank you.

Assholes!

So, can we head back now?

Yeah, but we're not gonna make it back to the car before dark.

Redneck motherfuckers!

They're sending someone to get us.

Fucking assholes.

Heather, don't. You're battery's gonna die.

Hello, my nice respectful followers.

Here with my friends, Sam and Riley,

and something not that cool just happened.

Basically, some random asshole creeper,

who I'm pretty sure has been anonymously DMing me all day,

just shot a fucking arrow at us.

Now why, may you ask,

would someone shoot an arrow at a group of people?

I have a few theories. Basically, I'm pretty sure

he's some basement-dwelling social reject

who couldn't get a girl to save his life.

He's probably sitting around moping

wondering why he doesn't get the respect

he so feels entitled to.

Well, I have a little message for him.

Fuck. You. I know you're watching.

I know you love to creep and watch me share my life.

Fuck off! If I ever figure out who the fuck you are,

I'm plastering your face all over my account

so that every girl...

No, every person within a 100 mile radius

knows that you're a stupid creeper asshole fuck.

We can't let this ruin the trip.

I know. That's exactly what he wants.

Why the fuck did you grab that?

Uh, I don't know.

Good. Keep it. You can shove it up his ass later.

Huh. Not a bad idea.

We should really make camp soon.

There's a good spot in, like, half a mile.

Maybe Heather will get poison oak again.

I forgot about that. Wasn't that, like,

the first year, it was all over your leg?

Heather?

Heather, I'm pissed, too.

That was a shitty, shitty thing to do.

But you're just giving him what he wants.

He's just trying to freak us out and ruin the whole trip.

Yeah.

He's probably already back in his mom's basement by now.

Probably jerking off to some

Transformers Megan Fox poster.

Oh, my God.

I did not need that image back in my head.

What? Explain.

Remember Jeremy Stanton? Lived below me sophomore year.

- Yeah. - Oh, my God.

So, that fucker would like, never, ever leave his room.

And one day, I get locked out of my place

so I need to go through his fire escape

so I can get back up.

And I knock on his door,

and it's just floor to ceiling pictures

of Megan Fox from Transfomers.

That's fucking bizarre.

Oh, God, no, it was like this 20 year old man

with this creepy "14 year old in 2007" obsession

with Megan Fox.

It's so true. I didn't believe Riley at first,

so I went myself, said I was lost,

it was actually top five creepiest things I've ever seen.

It's getting colder.

Yeah, always does.

Hello, hello, my beautiful followers.

We have finally made it here after a very long hike

and a very shitty incident

involving a very shitty person.

But it's okay, because we're here and I'm with my friends.

and this is our...

And because they can fit in really small spaces,

and...

I'd be a dragon.

Okay, I didn't know we could do... It's not...

Real animals.

I would have chosen, like, a centaur or something.

Centaurs are half human.

I wish I knew more about it.

I'm a Gemini.

Wait.

Do you think that, like...

millions of miles away...

- No. No. - Yeah. What?

I can't. I'm too high. I can't.

- What? - I'm too high for that.

But that's, like, the best time to talk about it.

No, I'm not ready for, like, existential...

we're all just like little specks of dust

in the universe.

Whatever.

Ralph used to talk about that.

Whenever I was...

thinking he was lying

or trying to convince me I was crazy,

he'd just bring up the galaxies thing.

About how...

how small my fears and...

everything were when...

you know, there were all these fucking planets so far away

and there could be other life and...

how he'd say he was convinced that

I didn't understand my place in the universe,

so how did I have any right to think

that I was sane...

when all that mattered was...

what I was...

in the grand scheme of things...

which was nothing.

He'd say that a lot.

- Sam. - What?

Sam, you don't blame yourself for that, right?

- Sam. - No. No.

I'm sorry, guys, I'm just...

I'm just tired.

I'm gonna go to sleep.

Fuck! I'm at two percent.

Well...

no more stories for your followers.

Whatever.

He'd probably just be messaging me stupid shit anyway.

I have a car charger for when we get back.

Terry, you find anything?

Nothing yet.

Jake knows these woods.

If he's injured or something, he's tough.

Yeah, I know.

I got a call about a couple of girls

who might have had a hunting accident.

I'm looking for them, too.

Hunting accident?

They might have stumbled across a hunter,

I don't really know, but...

they sounded pretty shook up on the phone,

so I told 'em I'd check it out.

Radio back if you see anything.

Roger.

Jake!

Jake!

Jake, you out there?

Cheryl, I found his helmet.

- His helmet? - Yeah, he's not here.

Where are you?

I'm about two clicks off Bennet Trail.

I'm gonna keep searching but call the county,

tell 'em to send two more trucks.

You got it.

Jake!

Oh, fuck.

They left the light on.

Well, well, well...

if it isn't the little piggy with the house made of straw.

I'm the big bad wolf that's gonna blow your house down.

Oh, come on.

If you can't laugh...

what's the point?

Look into the camera and smile.

You're being broadcast live.

To all your loyal, loving followers.

What do you think I should do to her, boys?

Ah. I'm loving the interactions.

Oh, this one seems to be a little grim, even for me.

Slitting her throat seems to be the most popular idea.

What?

What?

No.

We're gonna draw this out.

You know...

you're pretty popular.

You know what's funny?

If you and I met in real life...

you'd ignore me.

Maybe you wouldn't ignore me.

Maybe you'd smile.

Maybe we'd even be friends.

But we wouldn't really be friends.

You'd just be using me.

Stringing me along.

Always there as a shoulder for you to cry on.

I would always be there for you.

Would someone like you ever be there for me?

Would someone like you ever give me attention?

Now, I've got your strict attention.

Now...

I'm in control.

Now, you can't infect my brain with your body.

And manipulate me...

into bending to your will.

Riley?

Riley?

Riley?

Riley?

Heather, wake up.

- What? - Riley's gone.

What?

Riley is gone.

- Riley! Riley? - Fuck. I'm at one percent.

Riley!

She wouldn't just leave us.

- Riley! - Riley!

What the fuck?

What the fuck is that?

It's a trail.

Riley!

Riley!

- Riley! - Riley!

Are you okay?

Okay, I'm gonna get your inhaler.

It's not here!

I couldn't find it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Riley!

- What? What? - He has her.

Heather, we don't know what he wants.

- Riley, we're coming! - Heather!

- Sam! - I'm here.

Sam!

Oh, my God. Sam, get it off.

- I can't. - Sam, it hurts. Get it off.

Calm.

What are we gonna do? It hurts.

What are we gonna do?

Oh, my God.

- I don't know if I can move. - You've got to.

Ready? One, two... Don't put your weight on it.

Don't put your weight on it.

- I can't move any further. - I got you.

Put your weight on me.

Oh, my God, I can't go.

- Sam, I can't go any further. - I know.

- Here. - I can't.

Oh, my God.

Okay, calm. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

- Okay, I have to go find Riley. - No, don't leave me.

Okay, okay. I'm coming back for you, okay?

We are going to come back for you.

Okay? Okay.

Just try and stay calm. Okay?

Riley. Riley.

Hey, hey. No, hey, hey. It's me.

It's me. It's me. Okay, okay, okay.

Sam. Sam. He's recording us.

Help! Help!

Get the fuck away from her!

Sam!

Help! Help!

Somebody fucking help us!

You motherfucker! Get the fuck away from her!

- I'm gonna kill your friend. - Sam! Sam!

- The blonde one, too. - Fuck! Get the fuck away from her!

Sam!

You motherfucker!

Sam! Sam!

Are you okay?

Sam!

Okay.

Sam! Sam.

Oh, my God. Sam, what happened?

Where's Heather?

She, uh... She got caught in a trap.

She's... She's alive, but she's hurt.

Oh, my God.

- Is he dead? - I think so.

Okay. Okay.

I need you to cut that out of me.

Jesus Christ.

What are you doing?

I can't go any further.

- I can't go any further. - Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Oh, my God, it hurts so much.

Okay.

- Oh, my God. - Okay. Easy.

Oh, my God.

- I'm just cutting it open. - Okay, okay.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay, okay.

We need to get you to the hospital.

Who's doing this to us?

Some fucking psychopath.

He was filming it and he put it all online.

- What? - Yeah.

Is that what the fuckin' laptop was for?

- Yeah. - Okay.

I think he's been watching us for a while.

- Is he dead? - Yeah, I think so.

Sam shoved an arrow through his stomach.

Sam, is your leg okay?

It's fine.

That's a truck. Look, a truck.

Hey! Hey!

Help! Help!

- You have to help us. - What happened? What happened?

There's a guy after us. He's been shooting arrows at us.

- What? - Please. Help.

Cheryl, it's Terry. I'm gonna need an airlift.

What's the situation?

I got a female hiker, early 20s, with a possible compound fracture.

I'll send search and rescue your way.

Roger. All right, just breathe. What happened?

Some kind of bear trap.

Jesus Christ. All right, you know what?

This is gonna be easier if I take you in the truck.

Okay. Come on.

Get back here!

You think anyone's coming to save you?

Nobody's coming.

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull