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1
00:00:22,921 --> 00:00:25,259
‐ Hey, Allison, Allison, Allison.
2
00:00:30,352 --> 00:00:31,897
‐ Did my stapler do something wrong?
3
00:00:31,897 --> 00:00:33,526
‐ Celeste wants us to throw away
4
00:00:33,526 --> 00:00:35,028
everything in the office
that doesn't spark joy.
5
00:00:35,028 --> 00:00:38,619
‐ My stapler doesn't have to spark joy,
it just has to staple.
6
00:00:39,705 --> 00:00:41,875
‐ I'm just not feeling anything.
7
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,007
‐ How am I supposed to design
the homepage layout without my mouse?
8
00:00:46,259 --> 00:00:48,179
Uh, joy, radiating joy.
9
00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:49,516
Happiness with every click.
10
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,269
Ooh, happy, joy.
11
00:00:53,816 --> 00:00:57,239
‐ Okay, speaking of your mouse,
I need your help with the computer thing.
12
00:00:57,239 --> 00:01:00,454
This is Woom's new
energy‐clearing facial spray,
13
00:01:00,454 --> 00:01:01,707
Tidal Climax.
14
00:01:01,707 --> 00:01:04,170
‐ Yeah, I know, I'm featuring‐‐
15
00:01:04,170 --> 00:01:06,508
Can you smell that?
‐ I can taste it.
16
00:01:06,508 --> 00:01:09,347
‐ Celeste would love it if you could
upload the smell to the site
17
00:01:09,347 --> 00:01:10,767
for customers to sample.
18
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:14,650
‐ She wants me to upload
a smell into the computer?
19
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:17,822
‐ Yes. She read an article about how
that technology is being developed.
20
00:01:17,822 --> 00:01:19,618
‐ Right, but it doesn't exist yet.
21
00:01:19,618 --> 00:01:22,874
‐ But you could use like a plug‐in
or an extension, maybe a widget.
22
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,836
Oh, you should sunset a widget.
23
00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:27,424
‐ Stop saying random computer terms.
24
00:01:27,424 --> 00:01:28,719
‐ Oh, I have to take this.
25
00:01:28,719 --> 00:01:30,222
‐ No!
26
00:01:30,848 --> 00:01:32,059
‐ Hey, Madison.
27
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,146
Jules, you're coming with me tonight.
28
00:01:34,815 --> 00:01:35,983
‐ Coming with you to what?
29
00:01:35,983 --> 00:01:39,448
‐ It's finally happening, an event for
my own client where I'm running point.
30
00:01:39,448 --> 00:01:41,912
And out of everyone in my life,
I want you by my side.
31
00:01:41,912 --> 00:01:43,498
You don't want me by your side.
32
00:01:43,498 --> 00:01:44,960
I don't even want me by my side.
33
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,966
If I could attend large social events
without me, I would.
34
00:01:47,966 --> 00:01:50,011
‐ It is the biggest night
of my professional life
35
00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:51,264
and you're gonna be there.
36
00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:53,644
It starts at 7:00, dress is formal casual.
37
00:01:53,644 --> 00:01:54,980
‐ Those things are opposites.
38
00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:56,357
Well, what are you wearing right now?
39
00:01:57,109 --> 00:01:58,654
‐ Jeans and a top.
40
00:01:58,654 --> 00:02:00,490
‐ Are you doing that thing where you
call a sweatshirt a top?
41
00:02:00,490 --> 00:02:02,620
‐ No.
‐ You're coming.
42
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:04,708
Text me when you're on your way.
43
00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,587
If there's a single animal product
in those puff pastries,
44
00:02:06,587 --> 00:02:08,214
I will burn this place to the ground.
45
00:02:18,276 --> 00:02:22,326
‐ Behind these doors awaits
a spectacular array of options,
46
00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:24,956
but what will Jules end up doing tonight?
47
00:02:24,956 --> 00:02:28,798
The choice is in her hands
on America's favorite game show...
48
00:02:28,798 --> 00:02:32,680
Should She Go Out?
49
00:02:35,185 --> 00:02:36,605
‐ Here's the deal, Jules.
50
00:02:36,605 --> 00:02:39,778
You can go to this stressful
weeknight work party with Madison,
51
00:02:39,778 --> 00:02:43,869
or you can choose whatever's behind
door number one!
52
00:02:43,869 --> 00:02:45,790
Ooh!
53
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,042
‐ Um...
54
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,673
Okay, I'll take door number one.
55
00:02:49,673 --> 00:02:51,259
‐ Let's see what she's got.
56
00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:54,056
Oh, tough break!
‐
57
00:02:54,056 --> 00:02:55,726
‐ Behind door number one is Amelia,
58
00:02:55,726 --> 00:02:58,983
a girl Madison meets tonight
and replaces you with
59
00:02:58,983 --> 00:03:00,318
as her new best friend!
60
00:03:01,864 --> 00:03:04,451
‐ But don't worry, Jules,
we'll make you another deal.
61
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,372
You can keep Amelia or take a gamble
62
00:03:06,372 --> 00:03:08,919
and see what's behind door number two!
63
00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:10,548
‐ Um...
64
00:03:10,548 --> 00:03:12,844
well, Amelia sounds like
kind of a setback for me,
65
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:15,348
so... door number two.
66
00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:18,271
‐ Oh, bad luck!
67
00:03:18,271 --> 00:03:21,695
‐ Looks like door number two
is a debilitating case
68
00:03:21,695 --> 00:03:24,241
of the fear of missing out!
69
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:28,207
‐ Are any of these good options?
- Don't worry, Jules.
70
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,546
We'll make you one more deal.
71
00:03:30,546 --> 00:03:32,049
You can stick with the FOMO
72
00:03:32,049 --> 00:03:35,013
or check out what's behind
door number three!
73
00:03:35,013 --> 00:03:37,727
‐ Number three! Number three!
74
00:03:37,727 --> 00:03:41,359
‐ I mean, none of these are prizes‐‐
‐ Door number three!
75
00:03:41,359 --> 00:03:44,073
Oh, congratulations, Jules!
76
00:03:44,073 --> 00:03:45,743
Behind door number three
77
00:03:45,743 --> 00:03:47,830
is an all‐expenses‐not‐paid trip
78
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:49,249
to accompany Madison
79
00:03:49,249 --> 00:03:53,216
to her weird vegan chef party!
80
00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:56,973
‐ Wait, so I still have to go? I‐‐
‐ That's all the time we have, folks.
81
00:03:56,973 --> 00:04:00,606
Tune in tomorrow to see if a woman
attends the baby shower
82
00:04:00,606 --> 00:04:04,488
of a former coworker's second kid on...
83
00:04:04,488 --> 00:04:08,747
Should She Go Out?
84
00:04:13,131 --> 00:04:14,801
Woo!
85
00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:23,109
‐ I'm torn.
86
00:04:23,109 --> 00:04:26,783
Do we start by uploading the scent
for Tidal Climax Algae Bloom
87
00:04:26,783 --> 00:04:29,121
or Tidal Climax Red Tide?
88
00:04:29,121 --> 00:04:31,375
‐ It's a legitimate Sophie's Choice.
89
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,758
‐ Just to reiterate:
100% impossible either way.
90
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:38,056
‐ I wanna retry them
and jot down more of my thoughts.
91
00:04:38,056 --> 00:04:41,228
‐ Oh, Alison threw away all the pens.
92
00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:44,694
‐ Uh, you guys noodle on that.
93
00:04:48,117 --> 00:04:49,369
Thank you so much
for bringing me clothes.
94
00:04:49,369 --> 00:04:51,457
There's no way I'd get out
of here in time to change.
95
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:54,421
‐ Oh, my God. Are you kidding?
I love a good before‐and‐after.
96
00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:56,593
I brought everything I already had
in my car.
97
00:04:56,593 --> 00:04:58,346
Tahoe last weekend.
98
00:04:58,346 --> 00:05:00,768
Roller disco a few nights ago.
99
00:05:02,312 --> 00:05:04,274
Third date.
Think I might end it.
100
00:05:05,694 --> 00:05:08,032
Madison specifically picked me to go
101
00:05:08,032 --> 00:05:11,748
to this big work event tonight with her,
and I'm supposed to look nice.
102
00:05:11,748 --> 00:05:14,128
‐ Wait, the vegan chef book launch?
103
00:05:14,128 --> 00:05:16,423
She invited me to that yesterday,
but I said I couldn't go.
104
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,722
‐ Wait, Madison invited you first?
105
00:05:19,722 --> 00:05:23,271
‐ Okay, that was supposed to be a secret,
so don't tell her that I told you.
106
00:05:23,271 --> 00:05:26,695
But it's fine that I told you,
because we're all such good friends.
107
00:05:26,695 --> 00:05:29,366
‐ If it's okay that you told me,
then why can't Madison know I know?
108
00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:30,786
And why aren't you going?
109
00:05:30,786 --> 00:05:33,834
‐ I'll tell you, but it's a secret,
so you can't tell Madison.
110
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,629
‐ Can't tell Madison
like you couldn't tell me?
111
00:05:35,629 --> 00:05:37,884
Or can't tell Madison
like I actually can't tell her?
112
00:05:37,884 --> 00:05:39,136
‐ The former.
113
00:05:39,136 --> 00:05:41,725
The latter.
Wait, can you tell me them again?
114
00:05:41,725 --> 00:05:44,354
‐ Why couldn't you go?
‐ I said that I had food poisoning, okay,
115
00:05:44,354 --> 00:05:47,235
but I'm really going to a secret party
at Joey Lawrence's house.
116
00:05:47,235 --> 00:05:49,239
‐ Wait, the fact that you're going
is a secret?
117
00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:50,993
Or the entire party is a secret?
118
00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:54,124
‐ Both. Joey's having a group
of his closest friends over
119
00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:55,753
to announce that he's dying.
120
00:05:55,753 --> 00:05:57,924
‐ Oh, God, that's awful.
121
00:05:57,924 --> 00:05:59,969
‐ I know, it's super tragic,
122
00:05:59,969 --> 00:06:02,015
but, you know, if it's gonna be
his last party ever,
123
00:06:02,015 --> 00:06:04,520
I feel personally obligated
to have an incredible time.
124
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:06,440
‐ Wait, how do you know Joey Lawrence?
125
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,944
‐ Well, there's this group
of Hollywood brothers,
126
00:06:07,944 --> 00:06:10,908
like the Jonas Brothers,
the Hemsworths, the Lawrences‐‐
127
00:06:10,908 --> 00:06:13,622
they all get dinner once a month.
I bartended for them once.
128
00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:17,170
Oh, and the Hansons.
They are wild.
129
00:06:17,713 --> 00:06:20,552
‐ I guess I just feel a little funny
keeping secrets from Madison‐‐
130
00:06:20,552 --> 00:06:23,474
And I am not wearing the boa.
‐ Of course not.
131
00:06:23,474 --> 00:06:26,105
I don't think you should ever
keep secrets from friends.
132
00:06:26,105 --> 00:06:29,027
Except for the times where it is
extremely important that you do.
133
00:06:29,027 --> 00:06:31,282
‐ And you know the difference how?
‐ You know, it's like,
134
00:06:31,282 --> 00:06:33,829
when you're at a concert
and a stranger offers you drugs.
135
00:06:33,829 --> 00:06:36,543
You should have to kind of feel out
if it's a good idea in the moment,
136
00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:39,006
with really high stakes
if you get it wrong.
137
00:06:40,049 --> 00:06:43,139
‐ Oh, my God.
Party in the girls' room.
138
00:06:43,139 --> 00:06:44,892
Hey, if either of you guys
wanna join me tonight,
139
00:06:44,892 --> 00:06:47,272
I'm going to watch Pearl Harbor
and then Serendipity
140
00:06:47,272 --> 00:06:50,111
to test my theory that
Kate Beckinsale's aging in reverse.
141
00:06:50,111 --> 00:06:52,742
‐ Um, well, I have to go
to a work party with Madison.
142
00:06:52,742 --> 00:06:54,996
‐ Fun. I love costume parties.
143
00:06:55,664 --> 00:06:56,708
Are you going too, Stella?
144
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:59,756
‐ Uh, I have this other thing
I have to make an appearance at.
145
00:06:59,756 --> 00:07:02,427
‐ I feel like "It Girls" always have
to make an appearance at something,
146
00:07:02,427 --> 00:07:06,435
like you apparate from event to event
like a very chic ghost.
147
00:07:06,435 --> 00:07:08,272
Have you ever thought about that?
148
00:07:09,191 --> 00:07:12,322
‐ You come at people with
kind of an intense energy, don't you?
149
00:07:12,322 --> 00:07:14,076
‐ That's so funny,
that's what my last few therapists
150
00:07:14,076 --> 00:07:15,662
have said before
they suddenly move away.
151
00:07:15,662 --> 00:07:18,084
It's like every time I get a new one,
152
00:07:18,084 --> 00:07:21,423
they get a once‐in‐a‐lifetime opportunity
to move to a remote country
153
00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:23,302
and do therapy for the underprivileged.
154
00:07:23,302 --> 00:07:25,933
‐ Well, you know what,
I find you absolutely...
155
00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:28,062
‐ Whatever it is, I promise I can change.
‐ ...fascinating.
156
00:07:28,062 --> 00:07:29,607
‐ Oh, my God, you do?
157
00:07:29,607 --> 00:07:31,903
‐ Yeah. I mean,
you're unsettling in a way
158
00:07:31,903 --> 00:07:34,784
that gives me an adrenaline rush
and I kind of love it.
159
00:07:34,784 --> 00:07:36,955
You should come with me
to this weird party, what do you think?
160
00:07:36,955 --> 00:07:40,169
‐ Eh... yes.
‐ You're not afraid of death, right?
161
00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:42,048
‐ What?
‐ Cool.
162
00:07:46,056 --> 00:07:48,477
‐ Oh, my God, I have to pee so bad.
163
00:08:00,627 --> 00:08:02,088
‐ You're here!
164
00:08:02,088 --> 00:08:04,552
You look like a sexy eggplant,
but you're here!
165
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,221
‐ How's it all going?
‐ Stressful.
166
00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:08,225
I took my eye off Chef Hallie
for two seconds
167
00:08:08,225 --> 00:08:10,522
and found her hiding
in the bathroom housing a Slim Jim.
168
00:08:10,522 --> 00:08:13,612
Apparently she still stress‐eats meat
from time to time,
169
00:08:13,612 --> 00:08:16,158
and now I have a purseful
of confiscated jerky.
170
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,335
Oh, that bitch loves a kielbasa.
171
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,546
Look, I have to handle this,
172
00:08:22,546 --> 00:08:24,508
then I'll be back and I want us
to make the rounds together.
173
00:08:24,508 --> 00:08:25,384
Don't move!
174
00:08:28,224 --> 00:08:29,769
What are you doing?
‐ You told me not to move.
175
00:08:29,769 --> 00:08:31,063
‐ No. I meant mingle.
176
00:08:31,981 --> 00:08:33,735
But, like, stay close.
177
00:08:38,327 --> 00:08:40,749
‐ Okay. You can do this.
178
00:08:40,749 --> 00:08:42,670
Just... jump into a conversation.
179
00:08:43,755 --> 00:08:46,260
They're just terrifying people
that you can't relate to.
180
00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:56,196
So, do you like... veganism?
181
00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:59,452
‐ I'm from Wisconsin.
State religion is cheese.
182
00:08:59,452 --> 00:09:02,333
‐ Oh, yeah, I had
a bison burger for lunch.
183
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,964
I'm just here 'cause my friend
is PR for the chef.
184
00:09:13,105 --> 00:09:14,734
I'd probably feel guilty about it,
185
00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:18,490
but I hear Chef Hallie's
a closet carnivore herself.
186
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,079
‐ Really?
‐ Oh, yeah.
187
00:09:21,079 --> 00:09:22,833
Huge meat freak.
188
00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:26,674
‐ Well, I'm gonna make the rounds.
It was nice talking to you.
189
00:09:26,674 --> 00:09:27,885
‐ Yeah.
190
00:09:31,350 --> 00:09:32,477
‐ Jules!
‐ What?
191
00:09:32,477 --> 00:09:34,064
‐ Where did you go?
I wanted you to meet my boss.
192
00:09:34,064 --> 00:09:35,567
‐ Mm. I've been here,
just talking with some guy.
193
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:37,988
‐ I really need your support tonight.
‐ I'm being supportive.
194
00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:40,702
I'm eating a crab cake
made from hearts of palm.
195
00:09:40,702 --> 00:09:43,625
‐ Guess I just expected you to be
a little more excited that out of everyone
196
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,004
I know to come with me
to this huge life event, I picked‐‐
197
00:09:46,004 --> 00:09:48,008
‐ Stella. You picked Stella.
198
00:09:48,008 --> 00:09:50,429
Okay, she wasn't supposed to tell me
and I wasn't supposed to tell you,
199
00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:53,352
but she told me and I'm telling you;
I know you invited Stella first.
200
00:09:53,352 --> 00:09:55,565
‐ Well, you guys are wrong
'cause I actually invited Colin first.
201
00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:59,489
‐ You're trying to prove a point
by telling me you invited me third?
202
00:09:59,489 --> 00:10:02,830
‐ Look, I'm sorry, okay?
I was stupid to think he'd come with me.
203
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:06,294
‐ Wait, Colin, like
secret‐doctor‐boyfriend Colin?
204
00:10:06,294 --> 00:10:07,715
Why wouldn't he come?
205
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,844
‐ He moves under the radar right now
and there's a ton of press here,
206
00:10:09,844 --> 00:10:13,225
so he's just gonna meet me after, but...
I didn't wanna come alone.
207
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:15,020
‐ Do you wanna talk about it?
I mean, I know
208
00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:17,860
I'm just coming back into your life,
but whatever it is, you can tell me.
209
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:21,909
‐ Okay, fine, but you
have to keep it a secret.
210
00:10:21,909 --> 00:10:23,663
‐ I will, I promise.
211
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:25,709
‐ He's...
212
00:10:27,253 --> 00:10:28,506
older.
213
00:10:31,261 --> 00:10:33,307
‐ That's it?
‐ Yeah, he's older,
214
00:10:33,307 --> 00:10:35,227
so we're not ready
to tell people we're together yet.
215
00:10:35,227 --> 00:10:38,066
‐ Well, how much older?
Like Keanu Reeves older
216
00:10:38,066 --> 00:10:40,530
or like "fought in the Civil War" older?
217
00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:41,991
‐ Just older.
218
00:10:41,991 --> 00:10:43,452
‐ It doesn't seem like that big of a deal,
219
00:10:43,452 --> 00:10:45,247
but if you wanna keep it private...
220
00:10:45,247 --> 00:10:48,253
‐ Hey, thanks for the tip on the T‐Rex.
221
00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:51,886
‐ What does he mean "tip," Jules?
222
00:10:51,886 --> 00:10:54,517
That guy's a huge
food and culture reporter.
223
00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:57,146
‐ Well, shit.
224
00:10:57,146 --> 00:11:00,194
‐ How could you do this to me, Jules?
This is my job.
225
00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:02,073
Secrets between friends
are supposed to be secret.
226
00:11:02,073 --> 00:11:03,492
‐ I didn't realize that was a secret.
227
00:11:03,492 --> 00:11:05,454
‐ That a vegan chef eats meat?
228
00:11:05,454 --> 00:11:08,210
What did you think it was,
just a career‐destroying fun fact?
229
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:11,091
‐ Oh, was bringing me
to a big social event a bad idea?
230
00:11:11,091 --> 00:11:13,303
I wonder how either of us
could have seen this coming.
231
00:11:13,303 --> 00:11:14,932
‐ Oh, that is such a cop‐out, Jules.
232
00:11:14,932 --> 00:11:16,978
You wanted to be friends again,
and this is a part of it.
233
00:11:16,978 --> 00:11:20,610
Coming to events, keeping secrets.
I confided in you, that means something.
234
00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:21,904
‐ I know that it means something.
235
00:11:21,904 --> 00:11:23,575
I'm not really sure
what that something is,
236
00:11:23,575 --> 00:11:25,912
but I acknowledge it sounds
like progress when you say it.
237
00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:27,916
‐ Okay, the only way to stop this guy
from running the story
238
00:11:27,916 --> 00:11:29,545
is to feed him a better story.
239
00:11:29,545 --> 00:11:31,716
Only problem is,
it's a totally dead Tuesday,
240
00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:33,887
and our friend who always knows
something crazy going on
241
00:11:33,887 --> 00:11:35,932
currently has her head in the toilet
from bad sushi.
242
00:11:37,184 --> 00:11:38,646
What? What do you know?
Your eyes widened.
243
00:11:38,646 --> 00:11:41,527
‐ What? No they didn't.
They're the same size they've always been.
244
00:11:41,527 --> 00:11:43,865
‐ Jules.
‐ Secrets between friends
are supposed to be sacred?
245
00:11:43,865 --> 00:11:45,242
‐ Yeah, that only applies
when I'm talking about me.
246
00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:52,591
‐ It's not gonna happen.
247
00:11:52,591 --> 00:11:53,885
‐ A trade.
‐ Better than this?
248
00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:56,389
‐ How do you feel about the exclusive
to a secret celebrity party
249
00:11:56,389 --> 00:11:58,185
at Joey Lawrence's house?
250
00:11:58,185 --> 00:12:00,732
‐ Thanks, but no thanks.
‐ To announce that he's dying.
251
00:12:09,332 --> 00:12:11,002
‐ Whiskey, neat.
252
00:12:11,002 --> 00:12:13,173
‐ Yes. Whiskey, same.
253
00:12:13,173 --> 00:12:15,845
That's my order, too.
254
00:12:17,431 --> 00:12:18,518
‐ Thank you.
255
00:12:20,396 --> 00:12:22,274
‐ Oh... Oh, my God.
256
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:25,489
It tastes like Don Draper and gasoline.
257
00:12:25,489 --> 00:12:27,869
Can I have a vodka soda with 17 limes?
258
00:12:27,869 --> 00:12:30,542
‐ Are you okay?
‐ Yeah. What?
259
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,754
No. Here's the thing.
260
00:12:32,754 --> 00:12:36,177
You're so cool and fabulous
and interesting,
261
00:12:36,177 --> 00:12:38,558
and I am... just like this.
262
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:40,352
‐ The reason why you find me
interesting is
263
00:12:40,352 --> 00:12:42,774
because I don't put it all
out there like you do.
264
00:12:42,774 --> 00:12:45,655
Like, my parents were
backup dancers for Madonna,
265
00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:49,203
who fucked once on a flight to Tokyo
and then split up before tour was over.
266
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:52,711
I don't tell people that
because it's tedious and boring.
267
00:12:52,711 --> 00:12:56,092
‐ Holy shit, that's like the most
interesting thing I've ever heard.
268
00:12:56,092 --> 00:12:58,180
My parents met at a Brookstone,
both reaching
269
00:12:58,180 --> 00:13:00,267
for the same
glow‐in‐the‐dark shower radio.
270
00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:03,106
‐ Okay, how about for tonight you don't...
271
00:13:03,106 --> 00:13:04,860
you know, share as much?
272
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,614
People like a mystery woman.
273
00:13:06,614 --> 00:13:08,993
‐ Okay, yeah, I get it.
274
00:13:08,993 --> 00:13:11,624
Like when a non‐famous girl
gets photographed with a celebrity
275
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,293
and then the caption reads,
276
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,634
"Orlando Bloom pictured
with mystery brunette."
277
00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:19,515
‐ You're kind of like
if drugs were a person.
278
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:24,817
‐ Here you go.
‐ Oh, my God, thank you.
279
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,787
‐ Oh, shit, my boss wants
to know where I am.
280
00:13:30,787 --> 00:13:33,250
‐ I'm gonna need quotes.
‐ Okay, you go do your job.
281
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,964
I promise I will never talk to anyone
about anything ever again.
282
00:13:35,964 --> 00:13:39,011
I swear on Turtle's life. Turtle's my cat.
‐ I don't care.
283
00:13:46,694 --> 00:13:49,073
‐ I bet you're wondering
what I'm thinking about.
284
00:13:49,073 --> 00:13:51,829
‐ Oh. Sorry, I'm just trying
to charge my phone
285
00:13:51,829 --> 00:13:53,916
and you're standing
in front of the outlet.
286
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:55,628
What's your name?
287
00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:58,383
‐ I don't have one.
288
00:13:58,383 --> 00:13:59,427
‐ Okay.
289
00:14:00,053 --> 00:14:01,472
Do you live in L. A.?
290
00:14:01,472 --> 00:14:04,020
‐ Does anyone live in L. A.?
291
00:14:04,897 --> 00:14:07,026
‐ You know, eight percent
is probably fine.
292
00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:19,760
‐ Hey, Jules.
You want a hit of this?
293
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,308
It's mint papaya with just
the teeniest amount of opium.
294
00:14:23,308 --> 00:14:24,937
‐ Ooh, no thank you.
295
00:14:24,937 --> 00:14:27,191
So, don't be mad, but Madison's here.
296
00:14:27,191 --> 00:14:29,195
‐ Jules, I told you not to tell.
297
00:14:29,195 --> 00:14:32,242
‐ I know, I kept your secret, but then
I accidentally told another secret,
298
00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:34,038
which was actually
Madison's client's secret,
299
00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:36,877
so to trade secrets,
I had to tell your secret...s.
300
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,714
‐ Well, this is gonna be a cluster fuck.
301
00:14:38,714 --> 00:14:40,467
You know, in retrospect,
302
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:43,306
it is with incredible foresight
I got this high.
303
00:14:43,306 --> 00:14:45,853
‐ You think Madison's really gonna be
that mad that you lied?
304
00:14:45,853 --> 00:14:47,899
‐ No, she's not gonna be mad.
305
00:14:47,899 --> 00:14:49,318
She's gonna have a panic attack.
306
00:14:49,318 --> 00:14:50,822
This is a magic show.
307
00:14:51,782 --> 00:14:53,076
‐ Oh, my God!
308
00:14:53,076 --> 00:14:56,917
Oh, my God!
Madison is terrified of magic.
309
00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:59,589
Remember that guy who was doing
card tricks at Katie Hathaway's graduation party?
310
00:14:59,589 --> 00:15:03,221
‐ Yeah. He asked her to pick a card
and she punched him in the face.
311
00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:04,306
It was hilarious.
312
00:15:04,306 --> 00:15:06,979
‐ Wait, I thought you said this party
is because Joey's dying.
313
00:15:06,979 --> 00:15:09,651
‐ No, he is.
He's obsessed with magic.
314
00:15:09,651 --> 00:15:13,241
So he got this famous illusionist
to do this insane trick
315
00:15:13,241 --> 00:15:15,370
where they stop his heart
for three minutes.
316
00:15:15,370 --> 00:15:18,961
‐ Oh. Well, I'm relieved he's not dying
of a terminal illness
317
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:22,719
but rather of a fake
magic‐induced heart attack.
318
00:15:24,263 --> 00:15:28,564
‐ I honestly don't understand why she's
so freaked out by magic, anyway.
319
00:15:28,564 --> 00:15:30,651
‐ Um, not being in control
of what's happening,
320
00:15:30,651 --> 00:15:34,785
not being told what's going on,
being deceived intentionally.
321
00:15:34,785 --> 00:15:38,333
‐ Wait. Those are all the things
that Madison hates.
322
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,546
‐ Okay, no more hookah for you.
323
00:15:41,548 --> 00:15:43,636
‐ How the fuck am I supposed
to guess your name?
324
00:15:43,636 --> 00:15:46,224
There's like 10 trillion fucking names.
325
00:15:46,224 --> 00:15:47,434
‐ Izzy, have you seen Madison?
326
00:15:48,103 --> 00:15:50,315
‐ I fucking hate parties in the Hills.
327
00:15:50,315 --> 00:15:53,739
‐ You guys have no respect
for what I'm trying to do here.
328
00:15:53,739 --> 00:15:54,991
Let's just go.
329
00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:58,289
It's what you wanted. Hmph.
330
00:16:05,262 --> 00:16:07,725
‐ Oh! Uh, uh...
We can't go over there.
331
00:16:07,725 --> 00:16:08,853
Why not?
332
00:16:08,853 --> 00:16:11,942
‐ It's a... I can't believe
I'm going to say this word...
333
00:16:11,942 --> 00:16:13,027
secret.
334
00:16:13,027 --> 00:16:16,284
‐ Seriously?
‐ I swore on Turtle's life
I'd never tell another secret.
335
00:16:16,284 --> 00:16:18,914
‐ Honey, he's a cat,
he has nine of them, so just tell us.
336
00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,797
‐ I think that's Madison's
doctor boyfriend.
337
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:26,179
‐ She said his age is the reason
they're keeping their relationship private
338
00:16:26,179 --> 00:16:28,934
and that they were planning
on meeting up after her event.
339
00:16:28,934 --> 00:16:32,567
‐ I mean, maybe he came early because
he doesn't have that much time left.
340
00:16:32,567 --> 00:16:35,030
He looks like my rabbi
and Kurt Russell had a baby,
341
00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:37,242
but like a Benjamin Button baby.
342
00:16:38,286 --> 00:16:41,042
‐ God, we can't let her freak out
in front of all these people.
343
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:43,505
‐ Fuck this, I'm going in.
344
00:16:48,557 --> 00:16:49,726
Madison?
345
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:50,978
‐ Guys, not now.
346
00:16:50,978 --> 00:16:52,982
‐ Sorry to interrupt your intimate moment,
347
00:16:52,982 --> 00:16:55,028
but, um, we just need to borrow her
for a second.
348
00:16:55,028 --> 00:16:56,072
‐ One second.
349
00:16:59,161 --> 00:17:00,205
Stella.
350
00:17:00,915 --> 00:17:02,627
‐ Jules.
‐ Madison.
351
00:17:02,627 --> 00:17:05,090
‐ Izzy. Sorry.
No one said my name.
352
00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:06,384
‐ What do you guys want?
353
00:17:06,384 --> 00:17:08,722
One of you doesn't tell me anything
and one of you can't keep her mouth shut.
354
00:17:08,722 --> 00:17:10,475
‐ Okay. Fun, angry energy coming from you,
355
00:17:10,475 --> 00:17:12,271
but we need to take a second
for an announcement.
356
00:17:12,271 --> 00:17:15,695
‐ What?
‐ This is a magic show.
357
00:17:19,536 --> 00:17:20,871
‐ N‐No, it's not.
358
00:17:21,163 --> 00:17:23,042
All right, here we go.
359
00:17:28,887 --> 00:17:31,434
‐ Ladies and gentlemen,
in a matter of moments
360
00:17:31,434 --> 00:17:33,939
I will electrocute Mr. Lawrence
until his heart,
361
00:17:33,939 --> 00:17:36,570
tracked by this monitor, stops.
362
00:17:37,572 --> 00:17:41,370
‐ It's been great knowing you, everyone.
I'll see you on the other side.
363
00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:43,374
I love you all.
364
00:17:46,882 --> 00:17:48,761
Now, I want to be clear here.
365
00:17:48,761 --> 00:17:50,931
This is not an illusion.
366
00:17:50,931 --> 00:17:52,434
This is really happening,
367
00:17:52,434 --> 00:17:55,524
and it is an extremely dangerous stunt.
368
00:17:58,989 --> 00:18:00,743
She doesn't look so good.
369
00:18:00,743 --> 00:18:02,955
Madison, honey, maybe we should go.
370
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,795
‐ I can't feel my legs.
371
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,882
‐ Start the clock for three minutes.
372
00:18:07,882 --> 00:18:10,428
Joey Lawrence is officially dead.
373
00:18:11,973 --> 00:18:13,059
Oh, my God!
374
00:18:14,646 --> 00:18:16,273
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
375
00:18:16,273 --> 00:18:17,735
Okay. She's out.
376
00:18:17,735 --> 00:18:19,154
‐ Wha‐What's going on?
377
00:18:19,154 --> 00:18:20,991
‐ Thank God you're here.
She needs your help.
378
00:18:20,991 --> 00:18:23,454
With‐with the reporter?
‐ What? No, she fainted.
379
00:18:23,454 --> 00:18:24,833
‐ I can see that.
380
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,003
‐ Well, do something.
‐ Do you want me to call 911?
381
00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:28,423
‐ Why would you call 911?
382
00:18:28,423 --> 00:18:30,511
‐ Because she fainted.
‐ But you're a doctor.
383
00:18:30,511 --> 00:18:33,934
‐ I'm not a doctor, I'm a publicist.
‐ I thought she was dating a doctor.
384
00:18:33,934 --> 00:18:36,606
‐ I'm not dating her.
I'm Madison's boss.
385
00:18:36,606 --> 00:18:39,319
I came here to help her
with some reporter.
386
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,990
‐ Then maybe you should call 911.
387
00:18:44,163 --> 00:18:46,333
‐ She's alive!
388
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:49,841
‐ Oh, no, not Joey, just this girl.
389
00:18:49,841 --> 00:18:51,511
Awww!
390
00:18:51,511 --> 00:18:54,684
‐ Sometimes it can stop
for three minutes and 30 seconds.
391
00:18:54,684 --> 00:18:56,187
Perfectly normal.
392
00:18:56,187 --> 00:18:58,984
Nobody panic, we're just gonna
try it again here.
393
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,958
‐ Come on, Jo‐Jo!
394
00:19:09,296 --> 00:19:10,966
‐ Shit.
395
00:19:13,054 --> 00:19:14,181
‐ Oh, fuck!
396
00:19:22,532 --> 00:19:26,205
‐ I can't believe we just saw
Joey Lawrence go into cardiac arrest.
397
00:19:26,205 --> 00:19:27,792
‐ Magic should be illegal.
398
00:19:31,215 --> 00:19:33,219
‐ Please stay calm, everybody.
399
00:19:34,722 --> 00:19:36,392
Thanks for coming to my party.
400
00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:40,734
Please join me inside
for coffee and cake!
401
00:19:42,445 --> 00:19:44,701
‐ Holy shit, that was incredible.
402
00:19:46,287 --> 00:19:47,247
‐ Told ya.
403
00:19:52,842 --> 00:19:55,388
‐ I can't believe you thought
my boss was my boyfriend.
404
00:19:55,388 --> 00:19:57,017
‐ You said he was old.
405
00:19:57,017 --> 00:20:00,356
‐ I said older, not old. He's 45.
406
00:20:01,191 --> 00:20:02,987
‐ Okay, that's not a big enough
age difference
407
00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:04,991
for this to be such a problem.
408
00:20:05,993 --> 00:20:08,080
‐ Is this a keep or a tell?
409
00:20:11,588 --> 00:20:14,594
‐ Look, okay, the secret is not
that Colin is older,
410
00:20:14,594 --> 00:20:15,971
it's...
411
00:20:17,223 --> 00:20:18,392
it's that he's married.
412
00:20:18,392 --> 00:20:20,648
Separated, divorced practically.
413
00:20:20,648 --> 00:20:22,610
They were already broken up
when we met,
414
00:20:22,610 --> 00:20:24,530
but they haven't finalized
the papers yet,
415
00:20:24,530 --> 00:20:27,160
and his lawyer said it's best
that he lay low with his dating life
416
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,749
until the ink was dry
so as to not rock the boat.
417
00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:31,753
‐ Madison, wow.
418
00:20:32,212 --> 00:20:33,674
Look, they don't have any kids,
419
00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:35,385
so things won't get ugly.
420
00:20:35,385 --> 00:20:39,351
I just... don't want people, you know,
getting the wrong impression of him.
421
00:20:40,854 --> 00:20:41,982
Or me.
422
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,444
‐ Does it feel better to tell us?
423
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,198
‐ Oh, God, you have no idea.
424
00:20:46,198 --> 00:20:47,952
‐ I feel better, it's not even my secret.
425
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:51,751
Not that I anticipate my life
getting interesting enough
426
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,464
to hide any aspect of it, but...
427
00:20:54,464 --> 00:20:57,763
I vote all secrets be
temporarily suspended.
428
00:20:57,763 --> 00:21:00,226
Among this group of people, at least.
429
00:21:01,563 --> 00:21:02,480
‐ Even her?
430
00:21:04,652 --> 00:21:05,946
We can trust her.
431
00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:08,827
I mean, we know she elaborately lied
about her identity
432
00:21:08,827 --> 00:21:11,206
to everyone we've worked with
for the last several years.
433
00:21:12,292 --> 00:21:13,252
‐ Works for me.
434
00:21:19,389 --> 00:21:20,391
‐ Um...
435
00:21:20,391 --> 00:21:22,020
Just gonna take this.
436
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:24,149
Jeremy?
437
00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:26,445
Ew, no. It's Ramona.
438
00:21:26,445 --> 00:21:27,656
‐ Oh.
439
00:21:27,656 --> 00:21:29,869
Um... Oh, sorry, I missed your calls.
440
00:21:29,869 --> 00:21:32,373
This came up as your brother's number.
441
00:21:32,373 --> 00:21:36,298
Oh! Our dad roped us all
into this new family plan thing,
442
00:21:36,298 --> 00:21:37,635
and now that keeps happening.
443
00:21:37,635 --> 00:21:39,555
Anyway, I wanna talk to you
about my wedding.
444
00:21:39,555 --> 00:21:41,726
‐ Yeah, um, I'm sorry
I haven't reached out sooner.
445
00:21:41,726 --> 00:21:44,356
I'll return the bridesmaid's dress
and everything.
446
00:21:44,356 --> 00:21:46,110
I don't want you to return it.
447
00:21:46,110 --> 00:21:47,863
I still want you to be in it.
448
00:21:47,863 --> 00:21:49,032
‐ Wait, really?
449
00:21:49,032 --> 00:21:51,453
Jeremy is being an idiot.
450
00:21:51,453 --> 00:21:53,542
You've been like family
the last five years.
451
00:21:53,542 --> 00:21:55,336
More than that, I consider you a friend.
452
00:21:55,336 --> 00:21:59,762
‐ Well, that's... that's really sweet,
but, um... I... I don't know.
453
00:21:59,762 --> 00:22:01,891
I mean, if it's too hard for youto be around my brother,
454
00:22:01,891 --> 00:22:03,102
I totally understand.
455
00:22:03,102 --> 00:22:05,566
I'll just tell him you're uncomfortableor you're just not over it yet.
456
00:22:05,566 --> 00:22:08,112
‐ Oh, no, no... no, no, no.
Don't tell Jeremy I'm not over it.
457
00:22:08,112 --> 00:22:10,158
I am... I am totally over it.
458
00:22:10,158 --> 00:22:12,663
‐ It'll be great.
Besides, the wedding
459
00:22:12,663 --> 00:22:14,291
is still a few months awayand guys like my brother
460
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:16,295
tend to come to their sensesabout these things.
461
00:22:16,921 --> 00:22:18,842
I really want you to be there.
462
00:22:18,842 --> 00:22:20,512
Say you're still my bridesmaid, please?
463
00:22:20,971 --> 00:22:22,223
‐ I'm still your bridesmaid.
464
00:22:22,223 --> 00:22:23,768
Yay! Okay.
465
00:22:23,768 --> 00:22:27,108
Now we have to start planning
my bachelorette party. Eeee!
466
00:22:27,108 --> 00:22:28,820
‐ Eeeee.
467
00:22:30,156 --> 00:22:31,659
‐ Who was that?
468
00:22:31,659 --> 00:22:33,538
‐ I'm in a wedding in a few months.
469
00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:35,249
It was just the bride
giving me some details.
470
00:22:35,249 --> 00:22:36,878
‐ Whose wedding?
471
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,928
‐ My... cousin's.
472
00:22:42,681 --> 00:22:44,351
‐ Hey, thanks again for the lead.
473
00:22:44,351 --> 00:22:47,566
‐ Signed copy of the Vegan Monologues
will be in the mail tomorrow.
474
00:22:48,192 --> 00:22:49,361
‐ Check Twitter.
475
00:22:54,496 --> 00:22:56,668
‐ "Joey Lawrence, technically dead,
476
00:22:56,668 --> 00:22:59,047
pictured here with brown‐haired guest."
477
00:23:02,178 --> 00:23:03,180
Wow.
478
00:23:03,890 --> 00:23:05,936
That's almost a mystery brunette.
479
00:23:06,228 --> 00:23:08,148
‐ You guys, I did it!
480
00:23:09,025 --> 00:23:10,654
Yay!
481
00:23:10,654 --> 00:23:12,407
Whee!
36956
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