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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:32,725 - Am I alive? - No. 2 00:00:35,445 --> 00:00:37,165 - Am I a man? - Yes. 3 00:00:40,245 --> 00:00:42,085 - Am I fictional? - No. 4 00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,045 Am I Dan? 5 00:00:50,125 --> 00:00:51,005 Do you think? 6 00:00:51,005 --> 00:00:54,645 ♪ I pull some streams of smoke Down into my lungs ♪ 7 00:00:54,725 --> 00:01:00,004 ♪ Young face in alcohol flames I was dead on arrival ♪ 8 00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:05,525 ♪ I wish I had your voice At the end of the line ♪ 9 00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:09,604 ♪ I'm a postcard waiting In a forgotten time ♪ 10 00:01:10,005 --> 00:01:13,485 ♪ I shiver on the floor Of broken glass ♪ 11 00:01:13,564 --> 00:01:16,083 ♪ I was dead on arrival ♪ 12 00:01:17,964 --> 00:01:21,044 ♪ Took off my shirt Kicked off my shoes ♪ 13 00:01:21,163 --> 00:01:25,084 ♪ I was twisting in the movie That I'd left for you ♪ 14 00:01:25,163 --> 00:01:29,044 ♪ I said, "Throw me a cigarette I was king of the world" ♪ 15 00:01:29,044 --> 00:01:31,524 ♪ But I was dead on arrival ♪ 16 00:01:33,723 --> 00:01:37,083 ♪ I'm blocking out the pain again ♪ 17 00:01:37,563 --> 00:01:40,963 ♪ Don't know how to start again ♪ 18 00:01:41,563 --> 00:01:46,403 ♪ Life on the road holds nothing But lost sleep ♪ 19 00:01:48,963 --> 00:01:52,244 ♪ When a woman can be alone ♪ 20 00:01:52,804 --> 00:01:56,083 ♪ With her weakness or sin ♪ 21 00:01:57,323 --> 00:02:02,643 ♪ How does she write the sickness Out of her heart? ♪ 22 00:02:03,243 --> 00:02:06,483 ♪ Hooked and sick Now we're dust and done ♪ 23 00:02:06,563 --> 00:02:10,483 ♪ So I said my goodbye, Good luck and so on ♪ 24 00:02:11,483 --> 00:02:14,283 ♪ Trembling hands I must be insane ♪ 25 00:02:14,403 --> 00:02:17,043 ♪ But I was dead on arrival ♪ 26 00:02:19,403 --> 00:02:22,163 ♪ I just don't know ♪ 27 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:26,563 ♪ Where I can be found ♪ 28 00:02:27,122 --> 00:02:29,123 ♪ You don't remember ♪ 29 00:02:31,523 --> 00:02:33,602 ♪ You don't remember ♪ 30 00:02:35,643 --> 00:02:39,443 ♪ You said it's plain to see ♪ 31 00:02:40,323 --> 00:02:43,603 ♪ I'm stuck on you ♪ 32 00:02:44,242 --> 00:02:46,722 ♪ You don't remember ♪ 33 00:02:48,442 --> 00:02:50,881 ♪ You don't remember ♪ 34 00:02:52,682 --> 00:02:55,161 ♪ You don't remember ♪ 35 00:02:56,521 --> 00:02:58,922 ♪ I was dead on arrival ♪ 36 00:02:59,401 --> 00:03:00,722 ♪ I just don't know... ♪ 37 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,202 ♪ I was dead on arrival ♪ 38 00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:05,041 ♪ Where I can be found ♪ 39 00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:07,522 ♪ I was dead on arrival ♪ 40 00:03:11,682 --> 00:03:12,921 A bit literal. 41 00:03:20,482 --> 00:03:22,721 How many mini Scotch eggs is too many? 42 00:03:22,721 --> 00:03:25,281 - How many have we had? - Twenty. 43 00:03:25,281 --> 00:03:26,561 Maybe more. 44 00:03:26,801 --> 00:03:28,801 Yeah, that's too many. 45 00:03:31,161 --> 00:03:32,561 Come on. 46 00:03:33,001 --> 00:03:34,682 We should go back inside. 47 00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:39,721 It's only temporary. 48 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:41,761 I do it in between acting jobs. 49 00:03:41,761 --> 00:03:46,681 Yeah. I mean, it's advertising so I guess that's always pretty well paid? 50 00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:49,120 And actually the skills do feed in. 51 00:03:49,761 --> 00:03:52,401 Yeah, I know. I'm... I'm really lucky. 52 00:03:52,601 --> 00:03:54,001 Improvisation. 53 00:03:54,681 --> 00:03:56,081 Mime. 54 00:03:56,161 --> 00:03:58,881 Oh, no, no. That wasn't one of our clients. 55 00:03:58,881 --> 00:04:02,241 To be honest, the thing I don't like about it is the name. 56 00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,641 Nanny. 57 00:04:03,921 --> 00:04:05,441 Stupid name for a job. 58 00:04:05,881 --> 00:04:07,961 I think hypocrisy is quite a strong word. 59 00:04:07,961 --> 00:04:09,121 Nanny... 60 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:10,721 Nanny! 61 00:04:11,361 --> 00:04:13,880 I'm just gonna ask... Is this the day to be asking me this? 62 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,040 Is this the day? 63 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,720 His mum's made me read loads of books about cot death. 64 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,319 All of death, actually. 65 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,079 I mean, loads of ways that you can die... 66 00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:24,440 Loads. 67 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,319 I hate people. 68 00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:31,319 Babe, did you tell Dan's cousin I was a homeopathist? 69 00:04:31,319 --> 00:04:32,519 No, I didn't. 70 00:04:33,359 --> 00:04:35,239 I said you were a homeopath. 71 00:04:35,239 --> 00:04:37,200 "Homeopathist" is not a word. 72 00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,080 What are you talking about? 73 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,760 I don't tell people at first meet he works in the city. 74 00:04:42,879 --> 00:04:44,679 - People blame him for stuff. - Seph! 75 00:04:44,679 --> 00:04:46,079 I'm protecting him! 76 00:04:46,679 --> 00:04:49,159 I wish I'd lied about my own job, to be honest. 77 00:04:49,159 --> 00:04:52,120 I thought today was the one day I wouldn't feel like a failure. 78 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,279 You know, compared to dying, I'm doing all right. 79 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:55,679 - Seph! - What? 80 00:04:56,799 --> 00:05:01,559 Sorry, could you, for one second, not make this about your fucking self? 81 00:05:01,879 --> 00:05:03,039 The guy is dead. 82 00:05:07,919 --> 00:05:09,160 Should we go? 83 00:05:12,159 --> 00:05:13,919 Just give me five minutes. 84 00:05:17,719 --> 00:05:18,759 Hey, it's Pandora. 85 00:05:18,759 --> 00:05:22,799 Sorry, I can't take your call. Leave a message and I'll ring you back. 86 00:05:22,799 --> 00:05:24,159 Hi, Pan. It's me. 87 00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:28,119 Alex... I'm so sorry to bother you. 88 00:05:28,919 --> 00:05:30,999 I know you're working all day. 89 00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:33,679 I just... 90 00:05:35,559 --> 00:05:39,478 I don't know... I just... I just really wish you were here. 91 00:05:39,478 --> 00:05:40,719 It's really hard. 92 00:05:40,719 --> 00:05:41,879 I'm... 93 00:05:43,157 --> 00:05:46,877 I'm sorry. I'm not gonna go. I know you can't be here. 94 00:05:46,877 --> 00:05:49,997 Anyway... Sorry. Of course, I'll lend you that money. 95 00:05:49,997 --> 00:05:52,398 I'm... I'm sorry I've been a twat. 96 00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:54,237 Anyway, I love you. 97 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,798 I'll see you later. 98 00:06:03,037 --> 00:06:05,037 I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 99 00:06:05,837 --> 00:06:07,237 It's okay. 100 00:06:08,437 --> 00:06:10,877 I'm not trying to make it about myself, but just... 101 00:06:10,877 --> 00:06:12,037 No, I know. 102 00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:15,237 I'm sorry. 103 00:06:28,557 --> 00:06:29,798 I love you, mouse. 104 00:06:32,237 --> 00:06:33,478 I love you, too. 105 00:06:38,117 --> 00:06:41,837 And you've gotta stop telling people you're a failure. 106 00:06:42,798 --> 00:06:45,317 It's not failure like normal failure. 107 00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:46,797 What? 108 00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:49,077 No, it's acting. 109 00:06:50,158 --> 00:06:51,957 It's a lottery, isn't it? 110 00:06:52,757 --> 00:06:54,517 It's like failure like... 111 00:06:54,757 --> 00:06:56,877 "Oh, I didn't win the lottery." 112 00:06:59,277 --> 00:07:01,197 You keep ploughing on, baba. 113 00:07:03,196 --> 00:07:04,477 So brave. 114 00:07:12,156 --> 00:07:14,596 - Are you sure that we could just... - What? 115 00:07:14,596 --> 00:07:16,716 We can't just leave. It's not allowed. 116 00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:18,436 No, no. Hang on a second. 117 00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:20,195 Wait there. Amelia! 118 00:07:20,956 --> 00:07:22,316 Darling. 119 00:07:22,796 --> 00:07:24,956 Sorry, we weren't sneaking out. 120 00:07:26,276 --> 00:07:28,155 We have to show you something. 121 00:07:28,155 --> 00:07:29,436 Henry. 122 00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:31,235 Come on. 123 00:07:33,876 --> 00:07:36,395 I've been calling this Dan's dongle. 124 00:07:43,836 --> 00:07:45,236 Right. 125 00:07:46,475 --> 00:07:48,716 Let's leave them to it, shall we? 126 00:07:49,075 --> 00:07:50,475 Darling? 127 00:07:57,476 --> 00:07:59,275 Go on. Open it. 128 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,395 Is that... Is that my bathroom? 129 00:08:17,515 --> 00:08:21,235 Seph. Okay, so... I'm gonna die. 130 00:08:21,595 --> 00:08:25,155 Yeah. And you have no idea... 131 00:08:25,555 --> 00:08:29,515 I start fucking chemotherapy tomorrow. 132 00:08:29,795 --> 00:08:32,675 I mean, it's just... It's just palliative. 133 00:08:33,195 --> 00:08:37,515 The doctors took great pains to explain that it's not gonna save my life. 134 00:08:37,515 --> 00:08:38,755 Thank you, David. 135 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:43,353 Yeah. You know it's serious when they say, "Call me David." 136 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,434 Okay. Right. 137 00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:51,034 Yeah, I... I don't know when you're watching this. 138 00:08:51,034 --> 00:08:53,154 How long I've been, you know... 139 00:08:54,274 --> 00:08:55,434 haloed. 140 00:08:56,073 --> 00:08:57,833 But... I love you. 141 00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:59,513 I love you both a lot. 142 00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:04,234 And I am sorry that I'm not gonna tell you that I'm ill... 143 00:09:05,114 --> 00:09:06,273 but I'm not! 144 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:09,914 I reckon one day... One day you'll get it. 145 00:09:10,354 --> 00:09:11,834 Or not. I don't know. 146 00:09:12,194 --> 00:09:13,673 Anyway, I've had a fucking... 147 00:09:13,673 --> 00:09:16,914 I've had a fucking brilliant idea just now. 148 00:09:17,274 --> 00:09:18,513 I'm gonna give you... 149 00:09:18,513 --> 00:09:22,113 I bequeath you... 150 00:09:23,154 --> 00:09:24,713 my ashes. 151 00:09:26,713 --> 00:09:28,353 What? 152 00:09:28,514 --> 00:09:29,394 What? 153 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:33,354 Yeah. I've told my missus what I want and she's not happy about it. 154 00:09:33,354 --> 00:09:34,754 But fuck it! 155 00:09:35,193 --> 00:09:38,994 Mom, if you are watching this, you fucking shouldn't be. 156 00:09:39,073 --> 00:09:40,313 I told you-- 157 00:09:40,393 --> 00:09:42,154 Amelia, I'm really sorry. 158 00:09:43,673 --> 00:09:46,433 You know, I didn't realize he hated me... 159 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,394 that he really hated me. 160 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,953 But he does. 161 00:09:50,914 --> 00:09:52,074 Did. 162 00:09:52,953 --> 00:09:54,113 He really did. 163 00:09:54,993 --> 00:09:57,434 - Of course he didn't-- - No, he did! 164 00:09:58,393 --> 00:09:59,793 You'll see. 165 00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,352 What the fuck is wrong with him? 166 00:10:10,712 --> 00:10:12,272 Well, you know... 167 00:10:13,552 --> 00:10:14,952 probably the cancer. 168 00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:22,552 - I told you-- - Dan! 169 00:10:22,552 --> 00:10:24,832 Dan, I think I'm actually gonna wet myself! 170 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,272 All right, all right! 171 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,471 Awkward time jump. 172 00:10:30,192 --> 00:10:32,392 Ruined it for yourself there, Al. 173 00:10:36,432 --> 00:10:37,711 Okay, so... 174 00:10:38,032 --> 00:10:41,911 There are four places I wanna go back to. 175 00:10:42,552 --> 00:10:47,271 And I want you to scatter a bit of me in each one. 176 00:10:49,631 --> 00:10:50,912 There's a list of the places-- 177 00:10:50,912 --> 00:10:55,591 I've written down the exact post codes, for your sat-nav or whatever. 178 00:10:55,591 --> 00:10:59,551 And so you just take a laptop and a USB stick... 179 00:10:59,751 --> 00:11:02,792 and I've made a video for each place... 180 00:11:03,191 --> 00:11:06,271 so it will sort of be like I'm really there. 181 00:11:07,832 --> 00:11:10,031 Oh, and Henry's agreed to lend you the car. 182 00:11:10,031 --> 00:11:12,231 I asked him this afternoon, so... 183 00:11:12,231 --> 00:11:13,591 Sorted. 184 00:11:14,352 --> 00:11:15,871 Road trip! 185 00:11:18,872 --> 00:11:20,791 Yeah, essentially this is... 186 00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:25,511 Thelma & Louise plus Casper the Friendly Ghost. 187 00:11:26,791 --> 00:11:28,391 You are welcome. 188 00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,590 What the fuck's going on? 189 00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:46,949 It belonged to his dad, this car. 190 00:11:46,949 --> 00:11:48,110 Ancient. 191 00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:50,629 And that's... 192 00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:55,390 where he wanted to be stored on the journey. 193 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,829 He put some thought into it. 194 00:11:58,829 --> 00:12:00,430 Right. Fuck, sorry. 195 00:12:00,829 --> 00:12:03,190 Please, fuck away. I do understand. 196 00:12:05,949 --> 00:12:07,150 And this... 197 00:12:08,229 --> 00:12:11,430 seemed like a more practical receptacle. 198 00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,830 I thought you had to wait a bit... 199 00:12:18,949 --> 00:12:20,270 for ashes. 200 00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:21,950 I play squash with Colin. 201 00:12:23,670 --> 00:12:25,550 - Man from the crem. - Right. 202 00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,189 Nice guy. 203 00:12:35,149 --> 00:12:36,469 I don't think we should do it. 204 00:12:36,469 --> 00:12:38,070 - What? - Take it a week... a couple... 205 00:12:38,070 --> 00:12:40,429 I... I don't know. And just take him back to them. 206 00:12:40,429 --> 00:12:41,669 But it's what he wanted. 207 00:12:41,669 --> 00:12:44,749 It doesn't matter. It's fucked up. It's really fucked up. 208 00:12:44,749 --> 00:12:45,949 Even for Dan. 209 00:12:47,589 --> 00:12:48,709 I'll call you tomorrow. 210 00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:51,589 - Al, could we talk about this? - Oh, please. 211 00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:54,109 Pandora, turn that fucking radio off. 212 00:12:54,389 --> 00:12:55,630 Oh, my God! 213 00:13:03,389 --> 00:13:05,189 Is that Pandora? 214 00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,988 Obviously, you know each other. 215 00:13:08,948 --> 00:13:10,308 But... 216 00:13:11,229 --> 00:13:13,628 I have literally no idea who that is. 217 00:13:13,628 --> 00:13:14,828 Rachel. 218 00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:16,068 Rachel? Right. 219 00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:17,508 - Alex-- - Oh, my God. 220 00:13:18,828 --> 00:13:20,268 Our friend just died. 221 00:13:20,589 --> 00:13:22,868 Her friend... just died. 222 00:13:23,108 --> 00:13:25,668 Your girlfriend's friend just died. 223 00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:27,748 Who refuses to go to a funeral? 224 00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:30,708 Who refuses because they'd rather be doing... 225 00:13:30,708 --> 00:13:32,388 I mean, what the fuck is wrong with you? 226 00:13:32,388 --> 00:13:35,587 Okay, I think this is between me and Alex. Alex? 227 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:37,428 Oh, my God, Alex! 228 00:13:37,428 --> 00:13:40,068 I will cut you, Pandora. I swear to God. 229 00:13:43,428 --> 00:13:44,947 You were right. 230 00:13:45,748 --> 00:13:47,828 Twenty Scotch eggs is too many. 231 00:13:49,348 --> 00:13:51,467 Jesus Christ. What a day! 232 00:13:51,467 --> 00:13:52,668 I'm gonna kill her. 233 00:13:52,668 --> 00:13:53,828 Seriously. 234 00:13:53,948 --> 00:13:56,388 I'm gonna go round there tomorrow and I'm gonna skin her alive 235 00:13:56,388 --> 00:13:58,267 and wear her as a coat to a fucking party. 236 00:13:58,267 --> 00:13:59,947 - Seph! - Dan would want to stick with her. 237 00:13:59,947 --> 00:14:01,748 He would! He'd probably come back and help. 238 00:14:01,748 --> 00:14:03,347 Just calm down. 239 00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:10,747 Al... 240 00:14:14,107 --> 00:14:15,468 Al. 241 00:14:16,548 --> 00:14:19,708 - Alex-- - Can I please not talk about it? 242 00:14:33,228 --> 00:14:34,747 All right. Good night. 243 00:14:35,347 --> 00:14:36,746 Night. 244 00:14:37,866 --> 00:14:39,026 Are you okay? 245 00:14:39,306 --> 00:14:40,786 - What? - I just... 246 00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:43,346 Nothing. 247 00:14:44,146 --> 00:14:45,306 Sleep well. 248 00:14:45,546 --> 00:14:46,826 You too. 249 00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:48,226 I'll just be in there... 250 00:14:48,226 --> 00:14:49,466 Obviously. 251 00:14:49,466 --> 00:14:50,866 See you. 252 00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:52,826 Okay. 253 00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:49,666 Al? 254 00:15:51,066 --> 00:15:52,426 Tea. 255 00:16:05,385 --> 00:16:06,664 I love you. 256 00:16:08,424 --> 00:16:09,624 I can't breathe. 257 00:16:12,424 --> 00:16:16,424 Yogurt is so in trend right now. You got FroYo... I grow my own yogurt. 258 00:16:16,424 --> 00:16:18,744 - What? Bacteria? - Yeah. Bacteria. 259 00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:22,024 Anyway, Alex is gonna tell you about the copy. 260 00:16:24,224 --> 00:16:25,384 Alex? 261 00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:28,984 Alex... 262 00:16:29,424 --> 00:16:30,985 - Alex... - My ashes! 263 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:32,864 - Alex. - Yes! 264 00:16:33,264 --> 00:16:34,664 Sorry. 265 00:16:34,904 --> 00:16:36,304 Yogurt. 266 00:16:48,944 --> 00:16:52,104 But, Madan, this is what I'm saying... I don't think you are depressed. 267 00:16:52,104 --> 00:16:54,464 - Well... I... - If you'll let me finish, please. 268 00:16:54,464 --> 00:16:56,783 - Sorry. - I think you are lonely... 269 00:16:56,984 --> 00:16:58,743 and a little bit tired. 270 00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:03,744 Madan, I've just seen the clock. I'm afraid we're out of time. 271 00:17:03,744 --> 00:17:06,224 But if you just let what I've said... 272 00:17:06,904 --> 00:17:08,264 marinate. 273 00:17:08,343 --> 00:17:09,783 - Okay? And... - Okay. 274 00:17:10,424 --> 00:17:12,504 keep filling out the mood-sheets. 275 00:17:12,504 --> 00:17:13,783 Namaste. 276 00:17:15,423 --> 00:17:16,664 Divorce. 277 00:17:16,664 --> 00:17:18,823 I don't think he's very bright. 278 00:17:19,064 --> 00:17:20,464 He's... 279 00:17:23,183 --> 00:17:24,424 Into REM? 280 00:17:24,424 --> 00:17:25,584 Lovely. 281 00:17:26,263 --> 00:17:27,464 Coffee? 282 00:17:27,824 --> 00:17:29,063 Yeah. Thank you. 283 00:17:29,143 --> 00:17:32,103 Decaf for me. Madan's left me slightly wired. 284 00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:33,263 Sure. 285 00:17:35,902 --> 00:17:37,062 Oh, talk to me. 286 00:17:37,183 --> 00:17:39,582 - What? - Your friends. Your dead friends? 287 00:17:39,582 --> 00:17:40,942 Oh! 288 00:17:42,142 --> 00:17:43,502 Oh, you need to talk about it. 289 00:17:43,502 --> 00:17:45,222 - You must talk about it. - Yeah. 290 00:17:45,222 --> 00:17:49,583 Words are a paddle. They're like a rudder through pain, you know? 291 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:50,822 Am I making any sense? 292 00:17:50,822 --> 00:17:52,062 Yeah, I think so. 293 00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:54,942 Don't think of me as your boss. 294 00:17:54,942 --> 00:17:56,143 Thanks. 295 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:58,782 - Don't think of me as James' boss's wife. - No. 296 00:17:58,782 --> 00:18:01,302 No, I'm... I'm a human being, just like you... 297 00:18:01,302 --> 00:18:02,782 and I'm here for you. 298 00:18:02,822 --> 00:18:04,822 Anything you want, anything at all. 299 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,662 You're in the right place, actually. 300 00:18:06,662 --> 00:18:07,862 I totally get it. 301 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:11,022 Well, actually I was-- 302 00:18:11,022 --> 00:18:13,542 Are there any Jaffa Cakes, by the way? 303 00:18:14,102 --> 00:18:15,302 - No-- - Fuck! 304 00:18:16,022 --> 00:18:17,142 Sorry. I don't need them. 305 00:18:17,142 --> 00:18:18,022 I don't need them. 306 00:18:18,022 --> 00:18:21,102 It's Pavlov's dogs, actually. It's the smell of the coffee. 307 00:18:21,102 --> 00:18:22,262 Sorry. 308 00:18:22,982 --> 00:18:24,142 Carry on. 309 00:18:25,622 --> 00:18:26,902 Well... 310 00:18:26,902 --> 00:18:30,661 Actually, I was gonna ask you if I could take a week off. 311 00:18:35,182 --> 00:18:36,422 What? 312 00:18:36,422 --> 00:18:38,341 I mean, it's simple, it's minimalist. 313 00:18:38,341 --> 00:18:41,862 This generation YouTube, and have no attention span. 314 00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:47,542 At the end of the day, it's yogurt. 315 00:18:47,542 --> 00:18:50,102 It's not, I don't know... atomic fusion, is it? 316 00:18:50,102 --> 00:18:52,102 Does Johannes mean nothing to you? 317 00:18:52,102 --> 00:18:53,941 - What? No-- - He's a baby. 318 00:18:54,942 --> 00:18:58,582 You are proposing leaving a baby on his own for a week. 319 00:18:58,622 --> 00:19:00,542 - Well, to be fair-- - A week! 320 00:19:00,582 --> 00:19:02,981 What's that thing that Bono did, when he clicked his fingers? 321 00:19:02,981 --> 00:19:04,100 Yeah, a child dies. 322 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:07,101 Every time I do that is the time it takes for someone to eat yogurt. 323 00:19:07,101 --> 00:19:08,380 Fifteen dead kids. 324 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:11,101 At least, because some people eat slowly. 325 00:19:11,101 --> 00:19:13,061 This is actually classic, Seph. This is textbook. 326 00:19:13,061 --> 00:19:16,181 I gotta tell you that your friend is dead. There's nothing you can do about it. 327 00:19:16,181 --> 00:19:17,980 It's a truth that we never want to acknowledge 328 00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:20,860 that there is a skull at the banquet, there is a worm at the core... 329 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,620 Death is the final answer. 330 00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:31,660 I've just been fired. 331 00:19:31,660 --> 00:19:33,060 Let's do it. 332 00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,460 Let's scatter Dan. 333 00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,420 - She really said that? - Yeah. 334 00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:50,380 Fuck. Wow. 335 00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:52,780 She didn't actually fire me until I pointed out 336 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:55,300 that she's there, you know, all the time, 337 00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:58,939 and I am, therefore, somewhat surplus to requirements. 338 00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:00,860 - You know what she bought the other day? - What? 339 00:20:00,860 --> 00:20:02,740 - An almond milker. - What? 340 00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:04,020 I shit you not. 341 00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:05,300 She was shouting at me, 342 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,540 telling me I had no sense of responsibility, 343 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,340 and I had this beautiful moment of clarity. 344 00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:13,060 I thought, "This woman milks nuts. 345 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:14,660 She milks them. 346 00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:17,059 I mean, what am I doing? 347 00:20:17,059 --> 00:20:19,059 What am I doing with my life?" 348 00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:22,100 So I told her to go fuck herself. 349 00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:24,300 - Very strong choice. - Thank you. 350 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,500 Were your lot not sympathetic? 351 00:20:28,739 --> 00:20:30,059 What? 352 00:20:30,059 --> 00:20:33,218 - About the funeral. - Yeah, I didn't tell them. 353 00:20:36,858 --> 00:20:38,258 What? 354 00:20:38,578 --> 00:20:39,978 Nothing. 355 00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:42,898 I don't know. We just decided. 356 00:20:42,898 --> 00:20:43,778 Thank you. 357 00:20:43,778 --> 00:20:45,178 What? 358 00:20:45,259 --> 00:20:46,618 No, not a whim. 359 00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:48,939 Oh, for God's sake! 360 00:20:48,939 --> 00:20:50,258 We're driving across Britain. 361 00:20:50,258 --> 00:20:51,938 It's not fucking Mexico! 362 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,618 I... I don't give a shit what you say, James. 363 00:20:55,618 --> 00:20:56,859 I really don't. 364 00:20:57,258 --> 00:20:58,938 But I'm not sorry, am I? 365 00:21:01,338 --> 00:21:04,458 Oh, for God's sake! Look, I... I don't expect you to understand it. 366 00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:06,578 Okay? Because you never liked him. 367 00:21:06,578 --> 00:21:07,978 Did you? 368 00:21:08,378 --> 00:21:09,778 You... I... I'll... 369 00:21:10,378 --> 00:21:12,378 I'll call you tomorrow... possibly. 370 00:21:12,378 --> 00:21:13,578 Bye. 371 00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,258 Dickhead! 372 00:21:20,018 --> 00:21:21,978 How's that working out for you? 373 00:21:21,978 --> 00:21:23,178 Delicious. 374 00:21:26,738 --> 00:21:29,538 I still can't believe Dan didn't tell us. 375 00:21:30,138 --> 00:21:31,298 I can. 376 00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:35,977 'Cause then you can just sort of get on with it, can't you? 377 00:21:36,418 --> 00:21:38,778 Oh, my God, that's what you'd do, isn't it? 378 00:21:38,778 --> 00:21:39,978 Yeah, probably. 379 00:21:53,178 --> 00:21:54,498 Have you spoken to her yet? 380 00:21:54,498 --> 00:21:55,857 Nope. 381 00:21:56,018 --> 00:21:57,257 - Not at all? - No. 382 00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,457 - You will have to, you know? - No. 383 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,896 I mean, what about all your stuff? 384 00:22:04,896 --> 00:22:06,137 It's just stuff. 385 00:22:06,336 --> 00:22:09,456 Went out and bought more clothes this morning. 386 00:22:10,216 --> 00:22:13,056 I mean, what about your laptop and your passport? 387 00:22:13,056 --> 00:22:14,697 She's literally got all your stuff, Al. 388 00:22:14,697 --> 00:22:16,057 Look, it's just stuff. 389 00:22:16,057 --> 00:22:17,616 Seriously, I don't care. 390 00:22:17,616 --> 00:22:18,976 If there'd been a fire... Right? 391 00:22:18,976 --> 00:22:20,776 If there'd been a massive fire in the flat... 392 00:22:20,776 --> 00:22:22,257 then I'd have lost it all anyway. 393 00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:24,297 So that's what it's like. That's how I'm seeing it. 394 00:22:24,297 --> 00:22:27,336 There was a massive fire or bomb and all my stuff was lost... 395 00:22:27,336 --> 00:22:28,497 and she died. 396 00:22:31,456 --> 00:22:34,296 I mean, yes, the literal facts are that she's not dead... 397 00:22:34,296 --> 00:22:36,457 and that she's got all my stuff. 398 00:22:36,737 --> 00:22:38,656 But it's how you look at it. 399 00:22:47,296 --> 00:22:50,376 So, rather excitingly, we seem to have got beyond Wirral, 400 00:22:50,376 --> 00:22:52,536 and are now in the middle of bum fat nowhere! 401 00:22:52,536 --> 00:22:54,496 Where possible, do a U-turn. 402 00:22:55,096 --> 00:22:56,496 Do a U-turn. 403 00:22:57,696 --> 00:22:58,857 Maybe just do a U-turn-- 404 00:22:58,857 --> 00:23:00,736 Just shut up! It'll come back in a minute. 405 00:23:00,736 --> 00:23:03,776 Look, we are here, okay? Glastonbury is here. 406 00:23:03,936 --> 00:23:07,096 We are driving in the opposite fucking direction. 407 00:23:07,096 --> 00:23:08,696 - You sure? - Yes! I'm-- 408 00:23:09,176 --> 00:23:11,256 Hang on. Are you holding it the wrong way around? 409 00:23:11,256 --> 00:23:15,216 Please, just get in the car before I punch you in the mouth. 410 00:23:20,256 --> 00:23:21,616 Okay. 411 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,016 Oh, hello! 412 00:23:26,895 --> 00:23:28,816 Ah, Glastonbury Abbey. 413 00:23:29,216 --> 00:23:31,134 Beautiful. Always wanted to come back here. 414 00:23:31,134 --> 00:23:34,135 Could you just turn me around so I can see it? 415 00:23:34,135 --> 00:23:36,014 Oh, it's beautiful. 416 00:23:37,015 --> 00:23:39,094 Yeah, you can turn me back now. 417 00:23:42,695 --> 00:23:47,415 Okay, so... I came here once, when I was a toddler, with Dad. 418 00:23:47,495 --> 00:23:49,135 It was his favorite place. 419 00:23:49,135 --> 00:23:51,254 And apparently, I took down my pants 420 00:23:51,254 --> 00:23:54,255 and peed against one of the ruins like a dog. 421 00:23:55,574 --> 00:23:56,855 Cocked my leg. 422 00:23:57,854 --> 00:23:59,174 Very embarrassing. 423 00:24:00,495 --> 00:24:04,374 Anyway, this place is meant to be, you know, important. 424 00:24:05,055 --> 00:24:08,054 King Arthur's buried here, supposedly. It's pretty glam. 425 00:24:08,054 --> 00:24:11,974 And three unnamed Saxon kings. Less glam, sure, but... 426 00:24:12,574 --> 00:24:13,974 Dad loved it. 427 00:24:14,014 --> 00:24:16,574 Came here all the time when he was at university. 428 00:24:16,574 --> 00:24:17,775 "Spiritual." 429 00:24:18,134 --> 00:24:20,094 That's what he said... Spiritual. 430 00:24:20,094 --> 00:24:23,334 And, yeah, he wasn't, you know, like that. 431 00:24:23,854 --> 00:24:25,094 So... 432 00:24:25,415 --> 00:24:26,614 I believed him... 433 00:24:27,134 --> 00:24:28,494 more. 434 00:24:29,974 --> 00:24:31,734 Yeah. I mean, I don't know about that stuff. 435 00:24:31,734 --> 00:24:34,214 But I don't want it to be that all I could say about the place 436 00:24:34,214 --> 00:24:36,374 is that I once took a piss on it. 437 00:24:36,814 --> 00:24:38,294 And Dad wanted to be cremated... 438 00:24:38,294 --> 00:24:39,254 scattered here. 439 00:24:39,254 --> 00:24:41,014 But no one listened to him. They buried him. 440 00:24:41,014 --> 00:24:42,094 Did I ever tell you that? 441 00:24:42,094 --> 00:24:43,734 His fucking sister! 442 00:24:43,854 --> 00:24:46,254 Yeah! Good one, Mandy! 443 00:24:46,774 --> 00:24:48,174 Twat. 444 00:24:51,254 --> 00:24:52,654 So... 445 00:24:53,414 --> 00:24:56,094 I want a bit of me here. 446 00:24:57,614 --> 00:25:00,093 'Cause a bit of me means a bit of him. 447 00:25:09,453 --> 00:25:12,053 Well, someone made you a lovely dinner. 448 00:25:15,812 --> 00:25:17,572 And Al... Fuck. 449 00:25:17,772 --> 00:25:22,332 Al has been talked into lending Pandora 500 quid. 450 00:25:24,892 --> 00:25:27,293 Yeah, I think you should probably dump her, mate. 451 00:25:27,293 --> 00:25:28,693 Life is too short... 452 00:25:28,733 --> 00:25:30,093 even if you're not me. 453 00:25:30,093 --> 00:25:32,492 It's fucking nothing. It just goes. 454 00:25:32,892 --> 00:25:35,372 We waste so much time... 455 00:25:36,373 --> 00:25:39,292 and look, I know you. I know that neither of you are very happy. 456 00:25:39,292 --> 00:25:40,333 Not really. 457 00:25:40,333 --> 00:25:41,572 Not at the moment. 458 00:25:41,652 --> 00:25:44,333 So, look, this trip is not just about me. 459 00:25:44,532 --> 00:25:46,613 I want you both to have time... 460 00:25:47,052 --> 00:25:49,572 to get some space, to just work out... 461 00:25:50,412 --> 00:25:54,452 I don't know, just work out some stuff, whatever that means. 462 00:25:54,732 --> 00:25:56,812 I mean, I can help you, because... 463 00:25:56,812 --> 00:25:59,412 Well, you have to listen to me. You can't ignore me because... 464 00:25:59,412 --> 00:26:00,652 I'm dying. 465 00:26:01,652 --> 00:26:03,052 I'm dead. 466 00:26:03,732 --> 00:26:05,092 Ha... 467 00:26:07,812 --> 00:26:09,012 Yeah, I'm dead. 468 00:26:14,532 --> 00:26:16,652 Yeah, and I'm telling you, this is the worst thing... 469 00:26:16,652 --> 00:26:18,532 Feeling like you haven't made the most 470 00:26:18,532 --> 00:26:21,772 of every tiny little second you've breathed. 471 00:26:30,611 --> 00:26:31,771 Okay, so... 472 00:26:34,691 --> 00:26:35,851 This... 473 00:26:36,851 --> 00:26:38,211 is for you two. 474 00:26:39,331 --> 00:26:41,371 This is appropriate because... 475 00:26:42,331 --> 00:26:43,530 it's Kerouac. 476 00:26:43,931 --> 00:26:48,411 Though you'll probably be frequenting more Little Chefs than he did. 477 00:26:48,411 --> 00:26:51,091 "The only people for me are the mad ones. 478 00:26:52,290 --> 00:26:54,211 The ones who are mad to live, 479 00:26:54,290 --> 00:26:55,531 mad to talk, 480 00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:56,810 mad to be saved, 481 00:26:57,211 --> 00:27:00,131 desirous of everything at the same time. 482 00:27:00,731 --> 00:27:02,371 The ones who never yawn... 483 00:27:02,371 --> 00:27:04,331 or say a commonplace thing, 484 00:27:04,450 --> 00:27:07,491 but burn, burn, burn... 485 00:27:07,970 --> 00:27:11,330 like fabulous yellow Roman candles... 486 00:27:11,890 --> 00:27:15,451 exploding like spiders across the stars." 487 00:27:17,330 --> 00:27:18,650 What? 488 00:27:18,650 --> 00:27:20,650 Not allowed. We've never allowed scattering. 489 00:27:20,650 --> 00:27:21,891 No way, Jose. 490 00:27:22,451 --> 00:27:24,530 But why? I mean, it's just ash. 491 00:27:24,530 --> 00:27:25,730 He's just ash. 492 00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:27,250 Let me stop you right there. 493 00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:28,530 It's not just ash. 494 00:27:28,530 --> 00:27:31,610 That contains human bones and other parts of a human. 495 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:34,490 We're a significant archaeological site... 496 00:27:34,810 --> 00:27:36,371 and we've got badgers. 497 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:40,210 What? 498 00:27:40,210 --> 00:27:42,130 I can give you a guided tour. 499 00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:43,770 Okay. 500 00:27:43,770 --> 00:27:45,130 Six pounds each. 501 00:27:46,530 --> 00:27:48,410 I won't charge you for him. 502 00:27:53,530 --> 00:27:56,489 And you'll notice that a lot of these tombs are quite small 503 00:27:56,489 --> 00:27:59,328 because people in Medieval times were very short. 504 00:27:59,328 --> 00:28:00,409 Their stature... 505 00:28:00,409 --> 00:28:03,129 But I don't believe King Arthur would have been short of stature. 506 00:28:03,129 --> 00:28:04,968 I think he would have been a strapping man. 507 00:28:04,968 --> 00:28:08,049 Handsome, with flowing hair... probably quite muscular. 508 00:28:08,049 --> 00:28:11,969 Of course, his wife, Guinevere, cheated on him... 509 00:28:12,209 --> 00:28:14,569 with a knight, Sir Lancelot. 510 00:28:15,329 --> 00:28:19,408 Because in those days, women could also be cheating, lying whores 511 00:28:19,408 --> 00:28:21,289 as they are now. 512 00:28:22,929 --> 00:28:24,288 This... 513 00:28:24,689 --> 00:28:28,009 Said to be the final resting place of King Arthur. 514 00:28:28,289 --> 00:28:29,688 Right, so it's all right for him? 515 00:28:29,688 --> 00:28:31,088 Different times. 516 00:28:31,368 --> 00:28:32,889 It's different times. 517 00:28:33,969 --> 00:28:35,288 It's better times. 518 00:28:39,689 --> 00:28:42,608 - Quickly, whilst her back's turned! - What? 519 00:28:42,849 --> 00:28:44,529 It's never fully turned. 520 00:28:47,128 --> 00:28:49,369 I can't believe we fucked up already. 521 00:28:49,369 --> 00:28:51,808 - It's the first place, and we can't do it! - Seph. 522 00:28:51,808 --> 00:28:53,849 I mean, you know that stuff would hurt his dad, Al. 523 00:28:53,849 --> 00:28:55,128 I mean, his poor dad. 524 00:28:55,128 --> 00:28:56,888 It's not our fault. Come on, Seph, it's... 525 00:28:56,888 --> 00:28:59,529 It's... You know, it's... the badgers. 526 00:29:05,088 --> 00:29:06,448 I might... 527 00:29:06,889 --> 00:29:08,049 have a solution. 528 00:29:18,408 --> 00:29:20,528 - Thank you so much. - Thank you. 529 00:29:21,288 --> 00:29:22,608 There he is. 530 00:29:24,408 --> 00:29:26,368 It's better this way, isn't it? 531 00:29:26,368 --> 00:29:30,567 Because he can stay here, and he won't be floating about all... 532 00:29:31,047 --> 00:29:32,207 loose. 533 00:29:33,007 --> 00:29:34,086 Yeah. 534 00:29:34,086 --> 00:29:35,806 He'll be between here and the gift shop. 535 00:29:35,806 --> 00:29:37,807 And I'll take him out at lunch times. 536 00:29:37,807 --> 00:29:38,727 Thank you. 537 00:29:38,727 --> 00:29:41,687 And on fag breaks, if I start smoking again. 538 00:29:41,687 --> 00:29:44,407 - I might do. Might... Might not. - Right. 539 00:29:47,007 --> 00:29:50,127 Don't worry. I won't use him as an ashtray. I... 540 00:29:50,127 --> 00:29:52,567 I'm gonna look after him. I promise. 541 00:29:55,487 --> 00:29:56,887 Sorry. 542 00:29:57,767 --> 00:29:58,927 It's okay. 543 00:29:59,447 --> 00:30:00,887 People are just so... 544 00:30:01,647 --> 00:30:03,407 weird and... kind. 545 00:30:03,606 --> 00:30:04,527 I know. I know. 546 00:30:04,527 --> 00:30:06,686 Take him outside at lunchtime... 547 00:30:07,286 --> 00:30:08,686 God! 548 00:30:10,567 --> 00:30:11,647 - Hi. - Jesus! 549 00:30:11,647 --> 00:30:15,047 Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I just heard... 550 00:30:16,687 --> 00:30:18,687 I just heard you... Heard sobbing. 551 00:30:18,687 --> 00:30:20,846 Sorry, I was just having a... 552 00:30:21,247 --> 00:30:22,486 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 553 00:30:22,647 --> 00:30:23,646 Here. 554 00:30:23,646 --> 00:30:25,247 Oh, my God. Thank you. 555 00:30:26,006 --> 00:30:27,966 They've got a protective balm. 556 00:30:27,966 --> 00:30:31,806 It's quite... It's quite soothing if you've got, you know, sensitive skin... 557 00:30:31,806 --> 00:30:33,207 or something. 558 00:30:33,366 --> 00:30:35,646 - I do have sensitive skin. - Yeah. 559 00:30:37,846 --> 00:30:39,806 What you girls doing tonight? 560 00:30:46,246 --> 00:30:47,726 I'm Adam, by the way. 561 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:49,206 Hi, Adam. 562 00:30:50,646 --> 00:30:52,246 Hey, this is Seph's phone. 563 00:30:52,246 --> 00:30:54,806 Wait for the beep and then say something fascinating... 564 00:30:54,806 --> 00:30:57,005 or offer me money! Thanks. Bye. 565 00:30:59,405 --> 00:31:01,005 Hey, babe, it's me. 566 00:31:01,965 --> 00:31:04,565 Yeah, I'm sorry about earlier. I... I guess I was just worried. 567 00:31:04,565 --> 00:31:05,525 That's all. 568 00:31:05,525 --> 00:31:07,805 But you're right. I was being a dick. 569 00:31:07,805 --> 00:31:11,165 But the good part of it is I've got your job back. 570 00:31:11,765 --> 00:31:13,445 So, yeah, I just hope you don't mind that. 571 00:31:13,445 --> 00:31:17,325 I spoke to Tim and I just explained to him that, you know, it's been a bit of a... 572 00:31:17,325 --> 00:31:18,885 You know, you're not... 573 00:31:18,885 --> 00:31:21,765 Yeah. So, anyway, it's all fine. All's forgiven. 574 00:31:21,765 --> 00:31:23,884 So you don't need to sign on... 575 00:31:24,245 --> 00:31:25,485 or go on the game. 576 00:31:25,765 --> 00:31:27,844 Bad spot, either of those decisions. 577 00:31:27,844 --> 00:31:29,125 Obviously. 578 00:31:29,765 --> 00:31:31,645 Right. Okay. Love you. 579 00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:33,165 Bye. 580 00:31:35,764 --> 00:31:37,645 Yeah, it's just a small kind of gathering. 581 00:31:37,645 --> 00:31:38,644 Friends not foes. 582 00:31:38,644 --> 00:31:40,044 You don't have the foes in here. 583 00:31:40,044 --> 00:31:43,124 They can't dance, and they piss in the cider. 584 00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:55,525 How... How long are we going to be here for? 585 00:31:55,525 --> 00:31:57,964 - What? - An hour? Two hours? What? 586 00:31:58,204 --> 00:32:02,084 I don't know. Can't we just stay and see what happens? 587 00:32:02,164 --> 00:32:04,404 Yeah, okay. I'm just... I'm just checking. 588 00:32:04,404 --> 00:32:07,365 Look, you need to chill out, okay? Just relax. 589 00:32:07,365 --> 00:32:09,204 Use tonight to listen to yourself-- 590 00:32:09,204 --> 00:32:11,284 Right. I can take that shit from Dan. He is dead. 591 00:32:11,284 --> 00:32:12,244 You? No. 592 00:32:12,244 --> 00:32:15,325 Listen, Sparky. How about you interact with some new people 593 00:32:15,325 --> 00:32:16,884 and chill the fuck out? 594 00:32:19,084 --> 00:32:20,324 Hey, don't leave me on my-- 595 00:33:22,243 --> 00:33:23,203 - Oh, my God! - Alex... 596 00:33:23,203 --> 00:33:24,603 Ashes... 597 00:33:26,843 --> 00:33:28,603 - You all right? - Oh, God. 598 00:33:28,603 --> 00:33:31,242 - You okay? - Sorry. I just... zoned out. 599 00:33:31,323 --> 00:33:32,722 Yeah. 600 00:33:34,443 --> 00:33:35,842 Thanks. 601 00:33:36,483 --> 00:33:37,923 - Your mate... - Yeah. 602 00:33:38,842 --> 00:33:40,082 - She's seeing anyone? - Yes. 603 00:33:40,082 --> 00:33:41,402 Yeah, I thought so. 604 00:33:46,443 --> 00:33:47,563 - How about you? - Me? 605 00:33:47,563 --> 00:33:50,083 - Yeah. - I'm a massive bender, sorry. 606 00:33:51,402 --> 00:33:52,562 Fair dues. 607 00:33:53,442 --> 00:33:54,761 Fair dues. 608 00:34:02,961 --> 00:34:04,361 - I'll be on. - Good. 609 00:34:14,481 --> 00:34:16,121 Adam rescued me in London. 610 00:34:16,121 --> 00:34:17,041 Really? 611 00:34:17,041 --> 00:34:20,081 I'd been there for a couple of weeks or something. It was a Sunday. 612 00:34:20,081 --> 00:34:21,361 Really busy. 613 00:34:21,561 --> 00:34:24,761 And I was on my way to the fucking, I don't know, Tate or something... 614 00:34:24,761 --> 00:34:26,561 and this pigeon shat on me. 615 00:34:26,961 --> 00:34:29,321 - And then an old man flashed me. - Oh, God! 616 00:34:29,321 --> 00:34:31,801 And I was eating this awful sandwich. 617 00:34:31,801 --> 00:34:34,601 She told me it was halloumi and it wasn't. 618 00:34:34,721 --> 00:34:36,240 I just started crying. 619 00:34:37,081 --> 00:34:39,561 Bawling, you know, like a little kid. 620 00:34:39,841 --> 00:34:42,200 And then... Adam just appeared. 621 00:34:43,721 --> 00:34:46,160 I don't know how. He was just there. 622 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,721 He gave me this hug... 623 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,720 and he told me everything was gonna be okay... 624 00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:54,561 and that he knew somewhere where I might be a bit happier. 625 00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:56,241 He does seem pretty... 626 00:34:56,601 --> 00:34:58,600 - Pretty cool. - He's amazing. 627 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,599 ...and they're dead. 628 00:35:42,599 --> 00:35:44,279 And they burn out, but... 629 00:35:44,879 --> 00:35:46,119 but in the future. 630 00:35:48,639 --> 00:35:49,879 No, hang on. 631 00:35:52,319 --> 00:35:53,719 Yeah... The past. 632 00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,839 They're the past. We... We're looking at the past... 633 00:35:56,839 --> 00:35:59,439 because they're... They're dead. 634 00:35:59,559 --> 00:36:02,119 But, to us, they are still burning. 635 00:36:02,759 --> 00:36:05,638 That is... That is life from the past. 636 00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:08,159 You know, that is life. 637 00:36:09,399 --> 00:36:11,679 You know, The Tudors or something. 638 00:36:13,558 --> 00:36:14,959 And we just waste... 639 00:36:16,279 --> 00:36:17,399 this time. 640 00:36:17,399 --> 00:36:19,439 And waste our lives just... 641 00:36:21,119 --> 00:36:24,719 worrying about things that don't even matter. Like... 642 00:36:25,959 --> 00:36:27,359 am I too fat? 643 00:36:28,918 --> 00:36:30,479 Does she still love me? 644 00:36:32,959 --> 00:36:35,759 Why did I get that tattoo? It sucks a bit. 645 00:36:37,638 --> 00:36:41,719 And we fight each other and kill each other and argue about... 646 00:36:42,718 --> 00:36:45,958 my God is better than your God and all that shit. 647 00:36:48,358 --> 00:36:50,239 And all the while, we are... 648 00:36:51,558 --> 00:36:53,718 we are looking out at death. 649 00:36:55,317 --> 00:36:57,157 And it's really beautiful. 650 00:36:58,198 --> 00:37:02,397 And that is actually, literally... 651 00:37:03,237 --> 00:37:06,077 lighting up the fucking sky at night. 652 00:37:08,277 --> 00:37:11,117 We should just... We should just be calm... 653 00:37:11,117 --> 00:37:12,317 and say... 654 00:37:13,157 --> 00:37:14,638 And say, "Oh, fuck it. 655 00:37:15,478 --> 00:37:16,877 It doesn't matter." 656 00:37:17,237 --> 00:37:18,637 'Cause... 657 00:37:19,277 --> 00:37:20,598 nothing matters. 658 00:37:22,117 --> 00:37:23,437 Because it's okay. 659 00:37:25,797 --> 00:37:26,997 God, Adam. 660 00:37:27,717 --> 00:37:29,077 Sorry, I got a bit-- 661 00:37:29,157 --> 00:37:30,557 No! 662 00:37:32,117 --> 00:37:34,277 Dan would have really liked you. 663 00:37:34,837 --> 00:37:36,557 Yeah. Yeah, he would. 664 00:37:37,957 --> 00:37:40,557 I'd say that is a profound compliment. 665 00:37:43,836 --> 00:37:45,957 - To Dan. - To Dan. 666 00:37:46,037 --> 00:37:47,317 - To Dan. - To Dan. 667 00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:04,756 Have you seen my shoes? 668 00:38:06,756 --> 00:38:08,156 No. 669 00:38:11,997 --> 00:38:13,397 Jesus. 670 00:38:16,716 --> 00:38:17,917 Alex? 671 00:38:20,076 --> 00:38:21,235 Alex! 672 00:38:25,916 --> 00:38:27,115 Alex. 673 00:38:27,115 --> 00:38:28,515 Fuck. What? 674 00:38:29,435 --> 00:38:31,395 Alex, it's okay. It's me. 675 00:38:31,635 --> 00:38:33,596 Oh, Jesus... How I... Christ. 676 00:38:33,675 --> 00:38:34,795 I know. 677 00:38:34,795 --> 00:38:36,275 Where the fuck are we? 678 00:38:36,315 --> 00:38:37,595 On a farm. 679 00:38:38,116 --> 00:38:39,315 Oh, God. 680 00:38:39,555 --> 00:38:42,876 It's fine. Come on. Let's just go. It's... It's fine. 681 00:38:42,876 --> 00:38:45,315 We'll get some breakfast on the way. 682 00:38:56,955 --> 00:38:58,115 Ahoy there! 683 00:38:58,995 --> 00:39:00,315 - Oh, hi. - How are you? 684 00:39:00,315 --> 00:39:01,515 Bit rough, yeah? 685 00:39:03,235 --> 00:39:04,675 What time are we off? 686 00:39:06,315 --> 00:39:07,715 What? 687 00:39:07,795 --> 00:39:10,195 Come in the car with us. We'll take you. 688 00:39:10,195 --> 00:39:11,355 - Really? - Yeah. 689 00:39:11,555 --> 00:39:12,915 Yeah. 690 00:39:13,035 --> 00:39:14,435 Cardiff, yeah. 691 00:39:14,634 --> 00:39:16,034 Cardiff. 692 00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:18,755 Girls are just getting their shit together, so... 693 00:39:18,755 --> 00:39:20,675 I'll see you in a sec, yeah? 694 00:39:20,955 --> 00:39:22,235 Road trip. 695 00:39:29,315 --> 00:39:31,594 Music can be a distraction. 696 00:39:32,115 --> 00:39:33,275 Sometimes... 697 00:39:34,315 --> 00:39:36,714 You know, sometimes it's better just to... 698 00:39:36,714 --> 00:39:40,755 to listen to what's already there... out there in the ether. 699 00:39:42,595 --> 00:39:44,994 You know, you just listen. You lis-- 700 00:39:45,435 --> 00:39:46,475 Listen. 701 00:39:46,475 --> 00:39:49,035 And... And see what you can hear. 702 00:39:49,154 --> 00:39:50,553 See... 703 00:39:50,953 --> 00:39:52,234 Now I can hear... 704 00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:54,033 Now you could hear the rain. 705 00:39:54,033 --> 00:39:56,273 Pitter patter, pitter patter, pitter patter. 706 00:39:56,273 --> 00:39:57,673 And I could hear... 707 00:39:58,714 --> 00:40:00,154 hear the road beneath us. 708 00:40:00,154 --> 00:40:01,834 You know, that's a constant... 709 00:40:01,834 --> 00:40:03,234 Sorry. 710 00:40:04,513 --> 00:40:05,794 It's quite... 711 00:40:05,833 --> 00:40:08,113 Yeah, it's quite a rough surface. 712 00:40:08,993 --> 00:40:11,833 All part of the journey, though. Isn't it? 713 00:40:11,873 --> 00:40:13,154 And... 714 00:40:14,633 --> 00:40:16,953 Vibration. What's that vibration? 715 00:40:18,433 --> 00:40:22,273 That's... That's actually... That's the vibration of my phone. 716 00:40:22,273 --> 00:40:23,833 See? Who... Who is it? Who's that? 717 00:40:23,833 --> 00:40:26,993 Who's... Yeah, probably. 718 00:40:28,353 --> 00:40:30,553 Cool. We'll call him back later. 719 00:40:30,633 --> 00:40:32,153 And then there's all of us together. 720 00:40:32,153 --> 00:40:34,353 There's all our energy together. 721 00:40:35,553 --> 00:40:38,033 Can you hear the buzz? 722 00:40:39,633 --> 00:40:41,793 That's the buzz. The buzz of us. 723 00:40:43,713 --> 00:40:44,913 Is this your car? 724 00:40:45,353 --> 00:40:48,073 - No it's Dan's stepdad's. - Who's Dan? 725 00:40:49,393 --> 00:40:50,913 Oh, shoot. Sorry. Sorry. 726 00:40:50,913 --> 00:40:52,073 Sorry. 727 00:41:09,673 --> 00:41:11,273 You guys want anything? 728 00:41:11,993 --> 00:41:13,353 No, we're all right. Thanks. 729 00:41:13,353 --> 00:41:15,232 Cool. See you in a second. 730 00:41:19,592 --> 00:41:21,312 Actually, I should probably go for a wee. 731 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,472 - Wait. - What? 732 00:41:23,151 --> 00:41:25,272 - I'm not driving up to Cardiff. - What? 733 00:41:25,272 --> 00:41:28,112 I know, I know. I'm a terrible person. But... 734 00:41:28,112 --> 00:41:29,512 I'm not doing it. 735 00:41:29,792 --> 00:41:31,071 They're weird. 736 00:41:31,152 --> 00:41:33,551 He's old and... they're weird! 737 00:41:34,111 --> 00:41:35,591 They make me feel panicky. 738 00:41:35,591 --> 00:41:37,192 What if I end up like that? 739 00:41:37,192 --> 00:41:40,792 I mean, is that what happens when you're arty, but essentially a big shit? 740 00:41:40,792 --> 00:41:44,031 He has the charisma of a benign Charles Manson. 741 00:41:44,552 --> 00:41:46,271 - I don't like it! - But... 742 00:41:46,271 --> 00:41:47,952 I'll end up killing one of them. 743 00:41:47,952 --> 00:41:51,191 I swear to God, I'll use one of them as a weapon to kill the other two. 744 00:41:51,191 --> 00:41:53,151 Right. But, I mean, can we... 745 00:41:53,471 --> 00:41:55,671 I mean, could we just leave them? 746 00:41:57,151 --> 00:41:59,111 Dan would have hated them. 747 00:41:59,871 --> 00:42:01,031 He hates them. 748 00:42:29,830 --> 00:42:31,071 I feel really bad. 749 00:42:31,071 --> 00:42:32,031 Oh, shut up. 750 00:42:32,031 --> 00:42:33,671 I think we should go back and get them. 751 00:42:33,671 --> 00:42:34,751 No way! 752 00:42:34,751 --> 00:42:36,711 But, seriously, what if something happens to them? 753 00:42:36,711 --> 00:42:39,151 Look, Alex, we've done a bad thing, okay? 754 00:42:39,151 --> 00:42:40,231 Just... 755 00:42:40,231 --> 00:42:41,430 try and enjoy it. 756 00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:11,030 What? 757 00:43:11,549 --> 00:43:12,909 Welcome to Wales. 758 00:43:13,189 --> 00:43:14,629 You are now in Wales. 759 00:43:17,830 --> 00:43:19,629 Where does your mum live? 760 00:43:19,629 --> 00:43:21,030 Why? 761 00:43:21,550 --> 00:43:23,429 I don't know. Never met her. 762 00:43:23,429 --> 00:43:25,270 Well, why would you? 763 00:43:25,429 --> 00:43:28,589 I've met most people's mums. You've met mine. 764 00:43:30,310 --> 00:43:31,709 I don't know... 765 00:43:32,630 --> 00:43:34,829 I've known you for nearly ten years. 766 00:43:34,829 --> 00:43:37,069 We're scattering the ashes of our newly dead friend. 767 00:43:37,069 --> 00:43:40,309 And you're telling me that me meeting your mum would be... what? 768 00:43:40,309 --> 00:43:43,669 Taking this to an inappropriate level of intimacy? 769 00:43:58,229 --> 00:44:00,909 Do I look like children's TV presenter in this scarf? 770 00:44:00,909 --> 00:44:02,269 What? No. Shut up. 771 00:44:04,269 --> 00:44:06,389 They're different to your mum, so... 772 00:44:06,389 --> 00:44:07,589 Don't be a dick. 773 00:44:08,949 --> 00:44:11,469 Now, listen. I haven't told her what we're doing on the phone. 774 00:44:11,469 --> 00:44:12,869 I haven't told her about Dan. 775 00:44:12,869 --> 00:44:14,149 What? Why? 776 00:44:14,149 --> 00:44:15,309 Just because. 777 00:44:15,309 --> 00:44:18,388 Please don't say anything. She'll get upset. 778 00:44:21,108 --> 00:44:23,268 I've said we're scattering your granny. 779 00:44:23,268 --> 00:44:24,427 What? 780 00:44:30,188 --> 00:44:32,028 - Hello. - Hello. Hi. 781 00:44:33,028 --> 00:44:34,228 Come in. 782 00:44:43,228 --> 00:44:45,868 What a lovely thing you're doing for your nan. 783 00:44:45,868 --> 00:44:48,628 Oh, well, you know, it's what she wanted. 784 00:44:50,628 --> 00:44:52,388 You'll stay tonight, won't you? 785 00:44:52,388 --> 00:44:53,987 Mum, I told you, we... We got to-- 786 00:44:53,987 --> 00:44:55,347 Come on, Al? 787 00:44:56,028 --> 00:44:57,188 We'd love to. 788 00:44:57,947 --> 00:44:59,107 Brilliant! 789 00:44:59,468 --> 00:45:02,147 Yeah, I got the bedding out just in case. 790 00:45:04,707 --> 00:45:06,788 Chicken kiev's okay for your tea? 791 00:45:06,788 --> 00:45:08,147 Lovely. 792 00:45:08,987 --> 00:45:11,028 I'll... I'll put the oven on. 793 00:45:12,707 --> 00:45:14,267 What's wrong with you? 794 00:45:15,308 --> 00:45:16,708 She's so nice. 795 00:45:20,147 --> 00:45:21,947 Do you need a hand, Shelle? 796 00:45:31,507 --> 00:45:32,787 It's a new carpet? 797 00:45:32,987 --> 00:45:34,307 It is, yes. 798 00:45:34,547 --> 00:45:36,627 Do you know Dai's lad down the hill? 799 00:45:36,627 --> 00:45:37,987 No. 800 00:45:39,067 --> 00:45:40,627 He lives down the hill. 801 00:45:41,027 --> 00:45:43,427 This is our postman, Dai Persephone. 802 00:45:43,707 --> 00:45:45,107 Oh, right. 803 00:45:45,507 --> 00:45:47,386 But he's got a son, Dai does. 804 00:45:47,386 --> 00:45:48,786 Evan, his name is... 805 00:45:49,066 --> 00:45:50,705 from his first marriage. 806 00:45:51,025 --> 00:45:52,425 Didn't work out. 807 00:45:53,386 --> 00:45:56,026 She ran off with a man from the Council. 808 00:45:56,026 --> 00:45:57,426 Nasty piece of work. 809 00:45:57,785 --> 00:45:58,945 Malcolm... 810 00:45:59,225 --> 00:46:00,586 Smelt like bacon. 811 00:46:01,505 --> 00:46:03,066 Anyway, Evan's a sweet lad, 812 00:46:03,066 --> 00:46:05,425 and he runs his own carpet shop. 813 00:46:05,626 --> 00:46:06,865 He does it on the Internet, 814 00:46:06,865 --> 00:46:09,425 as well as having a little shop you can go into. 815 00:46:09,425 --> 00:46:10,785 Making a killing. 816 00:46:10,825 --> 00:46:14,346 Actually, more like a genocide, in terms of numbers, apparently. 817 00:46:14,346 --> 00:46:16,465 Anyway, he knew I needed a new carpet 818 00:46:16,465 --> 00:46:18,785 because I've been going on about it for months. 819 00:46:18,785 --> 00:46:20,946 And I was down his way about a fortnight ago, 820 00:46:20,946 --> 00:46:23,025 and he said to me, "Oye, Shelle! 821 00:46:23,025 --> 00:46:26,026 I am doing a certain kind of carpet for half price this week." 822 00:46:26,026 --> 00:46:27,585 And I said, "All right, are you?" 823 00:46:27,585 --> 00:46:28,945 And he said, "Yes"! 824 00:46:29,745 --> 00:46:31,745 Oh, he fitted the whole thing. 825 00:46:32,506 --> 00:46:34,145 Only took about an hour. 826 00:46:34,746 --> 00:46:35,946 Oh, it's lovely. 827 00:46:36,585 --> 00:46:37,745 It is lovely. 828 00:46:38,065 --> 00:46:39,505 It's a lovely color. 829 00:46:39,626 --> 00:46:40,945 Oh, thank you. 830 00:46:43,905 --> 00:46:45,065 Do you like it? 831 00:46:46,825 --> 00:46:48,785 Yeah. Yeah, it's quite nice. 832 00:46:53,625 --> 00:46:55,625 She doesn't know about Dan... 833 00:46:56,465 --> 00:46:57,785 What about Pandora? 834 00:47:00,185 --> 00:47:02,145 Does she even know about her? 835 00:47:04,465 --> 00:47:06,465 Al, does she know you're gay? 836 00:47:32,424 --> 00:47:33,944 Hey. It's me. 837 00:47:35,584 --> 00:47:37,143 Can you call me please? 838 00:47:37,464 --> 00:47:38,823 It feels weird. 839 00:47:39,343 --> 00:47:42,864 I've been doing some very weird things since you've not been here. 840 00:47:42,864 --> 00:47:45,504 Just ate a pack of crisps on the toilet. 841 00:47:48,304 --> 00:47:49,664 And... 842 00:47:50,463 --> 00:47:52,663 I've been feeling bad about Dan. 843 00:47:54,264 --> 00:47:55,583 I didn't hate him. 844 00:47:56,504 --> 00:47:57,904 He just... 845 00:47:58,423 --> 00:48:01,664 could be a bit of a twat sometimes, couldn't he? 846 00:48:03,344 --> 00:48:04,903 But I didn't hate him. 847 00:48:34,943 --> 00:48:36,343 All right. Bye. 848 00:48:39,263 --> 00:48:40,903 Look after her, won't you? 849 00:48:40,903 --> 00:48:42,223 Of course, I will. 850 00:48:43,103 --> 00:48:44,542 Thanks for having us. 851 00:48:49,622 --> 00:48:50,502 Al... 852 00:48:50,502 --> 00:48:53,422 I really do not want to talk about it, okay? 853 00:49:04,221 --> 00:49:05,462 What? 854 00:49:05,542 --> 00:49:06,982 This can't be right. 855 00:49:08,461 --> 00:49:10,501 Oh, let's just watch the video. 856 00:49:10,501 --> 00:49:12,502 And what is the significance... 857 00:49:12,502 --> 00:49:14,062 of Livid Nightclub, you ask? 858 00:49:14,062 --> 00:49:15,622 Well, traveling friends, 859 00:49:15,622 --> 00:49:19,382 you are standing by the hallowed ground upon which I lost my virginity 860 00:49:19,382 --> 00:49:21,142 on a geography field trip. 861 00:49:22,101 --> 00:49:23,302 It was beautiful. 862 00:49:23,541 --> 00:49:26,742 I mean, sure, it was in a toilet, but it was beautiful. 863 00:49:26,742 --> 00:49:29,342 I was 13. She was a bit older. 864 00:49:29,461 --> 00:49:31,022 We both had train tracks, 865 00:49:31,022 --> 00:49:34,382 and I had a light smattering of acne on my top lip. 866 00:49:34,781 --> 00:49:36,181 Hot. 867 00:49:36,382 --> 00:49:38,181 And as a result of my love affair, 868 00:49:38,181 --> 00:49:40,261 I remember very little about shale formation, 869 00:49:40,261 --> 00:49:41,701 and the word fannies. 870 00:49:44,181 --> 00:49:45,381 Fuck. 871 00:49:47,541 --> 00:49:48,741 Cheers. 872 00:49:52,661 --> 00:49:53,821 So... 873 00:49:54,101 --> 00:49:55,622 I was Googling this... 874 00:49:56,822 --> 00:49:59,661 thing today. It's crazy. You should do it. 875 00:49:59,902 --> 00:50:02,861 Apparently, it's a one in 800,000 chance... 876 00:50:02,861 --> 00:50:05,582 of someone my age getting pancreatic cancer. 877 00:50:05,582 --> 00:50:07,861 One in 800,000! 878 00:50:08,581 --> 00:50:09,822 Lucky. 879 00:50:11,021 --> 00:50:13,061 Yeah, basically, very special. 880 00:50:14,180 --> 00:50:15,580 Okay. Right. 881 00:50:15,900 --> 00:50:17,340 We're gonna play a game. 882 00:50:17,340 --> 00:50:20,980 I want... I want each of you to tell the other one 883 00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:23,660 something about yourself that they don't know. 884 00:50:23,660 --> 00:50:25,220 Do it now. Pause the video. 885 00:50:25,220 --> 00:50:26,380 Pause the video! 886 00:50:27,380 --> 00:50:28,780 Oh, come on. 887 00:50:29,700 --> 00:50:32,820 I don't think I'm in love with James anymore. 888 00:50:33,580 --> 00:50:34,980 What? 889 00:50:36,780 --> 00:50:39,940 - Well, what are you going to do? - I don't know. 890 00:50:41,340 --> 00:50:42,540 You go. 891 00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,939 What? No. I'm sorry. Can we just... 892 00:50:45,060 --> 00:50:47,140 Okay, here's a fun fact. 893 00:50:47,980 --> 00:50:50,500 Fun? Yeah, it's actually quite weird. 894 00:50:51,300 --> 00:50:52,740 That you have both... 895 00:50:53,419 --> 00:50:55,419 at some point in your lives... 896 00:50:56,140 --> 00:50:59,060 given me a blowjob. 897 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:03,059 Awkward! 898 00:51:05,180 --> 00:51:07,619 Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm awful. 899 00:51:08,100 --> 00:51:09,379 We're awful. 900 00:51:11,140 --> 00:51:14,580 Yeah, I love you both very much. But... 901 00:51:15,859 --> 00:51:17,140 not in a sexy way. 902 00:51:18,099 --> 00:51:21,259 I'm just glad we worked that out before I died. 903 00:51:23,940 --> 00:51:26,140 Not that it worked out much else. 904 00:51:26,259 --> 00:51:29,419 Fuck, I always thought I would know eventually. 905 00:51:29,620 --> 00:51:30,700 You know... 906 00:51:30,700 --> 00:51:34,700 I mean, definitely before I fucking died, I thought I'd settle. 907 00:51:34,700 --> 00:51:36,660 And I'd have a husband or a wife 908 00:51:36,660 --> 00:51:40,179 and we'd be 80, living in charming artistic squalor. 909 00:51:41,460 --> 00:51:44,098 Okay, Seph, you need to ask Al to tell you... 910 00:51:44,098 --> 00:51:45,498 about Amy. 911 00:51:46,378 --> 00:51:47,818 That one is serious, Al. 912 00:51:47,818 --> 00:51:49,578 You need to do that, okay? 913 00:51:50,938 --> 00:51:52,338 Just please. 914 00:51:53,018 --> 00:51:56,018 Because I know I'm the only person you told, Al. And... 915 00:51:56,018 --> 00:51:58,458 I'm not gonna be around anymore. I won't be able to help you. 916 00:51:58,458 --> 00:52:00,018 So just tell someone else. 917 00:52:00,018 --> 00:52:01,218 All right, Yoda! 918 00:52:01,418 --> 00:52:02,818 Jesus. 919 00:52:14,578 --> 00:52:16,818 All right, go on, then. When did you do it? 920 00:52:16,818 --> 00:52:17,858 Years ago. 921 00:52:17,858 --> 00:52:19,618 That time we went to Corfu. 922 00:52:19,618 --> 00:52:21,697 And you all became convinced I was an alcoholic. 923 00:52:21,697 --> 00:52:22,618 Oh, yeah. 924 00:52:22,618 --> 00:52:25,377 You took me to an AA meeting in a Taverna. 925 00:52:26,658 --> 00:52:27,937 When did you do it? 926 00:52:29,498 --> 00:52:30,858 At his mum's house. 927 00:52:31,377 --> 00:52:32,978 One of his birthdays... 928 00:52:33,098 --> 00:52:34,538 It was fancy dress... 929 00:52:34,858 --> 00:52:36,618 and I was wearing a crown. 930 00:52:37,138 --> 00:52:38,417 I initiated the whole thing. 931 00:52:38,417 --> 00:52:39,738 - Did you? - Yeah. 932 00:52:39,738 --> 00:52:40,898 Brazen. 933 00:52:41,978 --> 00:52:43,458 Did you keep your crown on? 934 00:52:43,458 --> 00:52:44,858 Yes. 935 00:52:48,778 --> 00:52:49,938 James? 936 00:52:50,817 --> 00:52:52,218 Oh, God. 937 00:52:54,418 --> 00:52:57,018 I mean, he's nice and he's kind and... 938 00:52:57,417 --> 00:52:58,738 he's all other things. 939 00:52:58,738 --> 00:52:59,937 All of them. 940 00:53:00,497 --> 00:53:01,657 But... 941 00:53:02,058 --> 00:53:05,297 It's got to the point where I can read his face so well. 942 00:53:05,297 --> 00:53:06,658 I know his sex eyes. 943 00:53:07,297 --> 00:53:10,618 You know, when someone's trying to initiate sex, right? 944 00:53:10,618 --> 00:53:11,936 And my heart sinks. 945 00:53:12,896 --> 00:53:14,056 I just think... 946 00:53:14,736 --> 00:53:16,016 "Go on, then. 947 00:53:16,056 --> 00:53:19,377 Probably less mind-numbing than talking to you for another eight minutes." 948 00:53:19,377 --> 00:53:22,016 I mean, I've had sex out of politeness before... 949 00:53:22,016 --> 00:53:23,536 you know, with people. 950 00:53:23,736 --> 00:53:26,896 When you think this is probably less awkward and time consuming 951 00:53:26,896 --> 00:53:29,536 than explaining to you why I'm backing out. 952 00:53:29,536 --> 00:53:31,656 But it shouldn't be happening with him... 953 00:53:31,656 --> 00:53:33,096 with James, should it? 954 00:53:33,096 --> 00:53:34,896 No. Probably not. 955 00:53:39,775 --> 00:53:40,976 Who's Amy? 956 00:53:40,976 --> 00:53:42,376 No. 957 00:53:43,175 --> 00:53:46,176 Let's go to our hotel and get really pissed. 958 00:53:46,575 --> 00:53:49,256 Fuck that. Let's take Dan back to Livid. 959 00:53:56,455 --> 00:53:58,256 Fuck. It's fucking freezing. 960 00:53:58,256 --> 00:53:59,456 You want my coat? 961 00:53:59,696 --> 00:54:01,416 - It comes at a price. - Fuck off. 962 00:54:01,416 --> 00:54:02,735 Yeah, we're all right. Thanks. 963 00:54:02,735 --> 00:54:04,375 No, he's just being a cock. 964 00:54:04,375 --> 00:54:05,976 Serious. Have it. 965 00:54:07,176 --> 00:54:08,576 Are you sure? 966 00:54:10,695 --> 00:54:11,896 Thanks. 967 00:54:45,014 --> 00:54:46,215 Excuse me. 968 00:54:46,854 --> 00:54:48,254 Excuse me! 969 00:54:59,774 --> 00:55:01,494 Oy! She's got a boyfriend. 970 00:55:01,494 --> 00:55:02,894 - So? - So she's got a boyfriend! 971 00:55:02,894 --> 00:55:05,574 - You've got a fucking boyfriend. - You do? 972 00:55:05,574 --> 00:55:07,974 - Maybe. - She does. His name's James. 973 00:55:07,974 --> 00:55:09,494 Oh, piss off, Al. 974 00:55:34,614 --> 00:55:36,174 This is all your fault. 975 00:55:42,374 --> 00:55:43,453 Oh, shit. 976 00:55:43,453 --> 00:55:44,613 What? 977 00:55:44,974 --> 00:55:46,454 I need to talk to her. 978 00:55:46,494 --> 00:55:47,653 Okay. 979 00:55:48,213 --> 00:55:49,294 Alone. 980 00:55:49,294 --> 00:55:51,254 Oh, all right. I'll... I'll just stand over here. 981 00:55:51,254 --> 00:55:54,414 No, you go back inside. I'll find you in a minute. 982 00:55:54,414 --> 00:55:55,534 Can I get your number? 983 00:55:55,534 --> 00:55:57,333 I'll find you back inside. 984 00:56:03,893 --> 00:56:05,374 Did you just shag him? 985 00:56:06,093 --> 00:56:07,374 It was a homage... 986 00:56:08,333 --> 00:56:09,493 A what? 987 00:56:09,493 --> 00:56:11,292 An homage to Dan. 988 00:56:12,412 --> 00:56:13,893 We were in the toilet. 989 00:56:16,332 --> 00:56:17,412 Alex! 990 00:56:17,412 --> 00:56:19,492 Hey, this is Seph's phone. I'm away for a bit. 991 00:56:19,492 --> 00:56:22,093 But leave me a message and I'll call you when I get back. 992 00:56:22,093 --> 00:56:23,932 Seph, call me back. Please. 993 00:56:25,412 --> 00:56:26,732 Please. I know you're pissed off 994 00:56:26,732 --> 00:56:29,812 but this is starting to make me feel pathetic. 995 00:56:32,212 --> 00:56:33,612 Come on. 996 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:35,332 Little mouse... 997 00:56:36,652 --> 00:56:38,452 I've been to your house... 998 00:56:38,772 --> 00:56:40,253 and you're not there. 999 00:56:40,813 --> 00:56:42,212 Where are you? 1000 00:56:44,572 --> 00:56:45,932 Where are you? 1001 00:56:52,012 --> 00:56:53,932 - Alex, wait. - Seph, please. Just stop talking. 1002 00:56:53,932 --> 00:56:55,292 - You all right? - Yes. 1003 00:56:55,292 --> 00:56:56,852 - Good night? - Yeah. Sorry, we're just-- 1004 00:56:56,852 --> 00:56:58,292 - You two having a row? - No. We're-- 1005 00:56:58,292 --> 00:56:59,452 You're having a lesbian row? 1006 00:56:59,452 --> 00:57:02,492 - No! We're just... Please. I... - Can we give you a little kiss? 1007 00:57:02,492 --> 00:57:05,252 - No, I'm all right. Thanks. - Back off, mate. 1008 00:57:05,252 --> 00:57:07,012 Just a little kiss. That's all right, innit? 1009 00:57:07,012 --> 00:57:08,611 Are you trying to get him to snog you? 1010 00:57:08,611 --> 00:57:09,812 Jesus Christ. 1011 00:57:09,812 --> 00:57:11,731 - You can touch my cock if you want. - Oh, God. 1012 00:57:11,731 --> 00:57:12,732 I don't... I don't mind. 1013 00:57:12,732 --> 00:57:14,851 Or, you know, you two could get off with each other... 1014 00:57:14,851 --> 00:57:16,172 and I could touch my own cock. 1015 00:57:16,172 --> 00:57:18,531 No. Can you let me... Could we just use the cashpoint? 1016 00:57:18,531 --> 00:57:19,891 Oh, why so sensitive? 1017 00:57:19,891 --> 00:57:21,492 - It's just a fucking joke. - Yeah. 1018 00:57:21,492 --> 00:57:22,731 You wanna touch his cock? 1019 00:57:22,731 --> 00:57:24,012 I've seen it. It's massive. 1020 00:57:24,012 --> 00:57:24,892 Gay. 1021 00:57:24,892 --> 00:57:26,052 Thick as a baby's arm, love. 1022 00:57:26,052 --> 00:57:27,291 Been really nice to meet you. 1023 00:57:27,291 --> 00:57:29,372 Please. I don't wanna touch you or have sex with you. 1024 00:57:29,372 --> 00:57:31,332 I'm really tired. I just wanna use the cashpoint. 1025 00:57:31,332 --> 00:57:33,811 So can you please just let me do that? 1026 00:57:34,292 --> 00:57:36,691 You actually think I wanna fuck you? 1027 00:57:37,892 --> 00:57:39,170 You think I... 1028 00:57:39,851 --> 00:57:41,291 would wanna fuck you? 1029 00:57:41,931 --> 00:57:43,090 You arrogant little bitch. 1030 00:57:43,090 --> 00:57:44,131 I'm... I'm not... 1031 00:57:44,131 --> 00:57:46,931 Well, you know what? I would fuck you. I would. 1032 00:57:46,931 --> 00:57:48,450 But I wouldn't like it. 1033 00:57:48,450 --> 00:57:49,970 And neither would you. 1034 00:57:49,970 --> 00:57:52,651 But I'd do it to teach you a lesson, you fucking dike. 1035 00:57:54,730 --> 00:57:57,171 What the fuck's the matter with you? 1036 00:58:02,370 --> 00:58:03,930 What the fuck was that? 1037 00:58:05,050 --> 00:58:07,970 I got taught that in self-defense in school. 1038 00:58:07,970 --> 00:58:09,651 Panic row with your arms. 1039 00:58:09,890 --> 00:58:11,370 Confuse the attacker. 1040 00:58:11,370 --> 00:58:13,730 Majority of people don't actually want to assault someone 1041 00:58:13,730 --> 00:58:16,410 who manifests genuine psychiatric problems. 1042 00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:17,571 Too much hassle. 1043 00:58:19,490 --> 00:58:22,530 I mean, technically that's the windmill, isn't it? 1044 00:58:22,530 --> 00:58:23,690 Sure. 1045 00:58:25,170 --> 00:58:28,410 Look, we can just go home if you're so fucking furious, Alex. 1046 00:58:28,410 --> 00:58:29,930 Dan wanted us to take him to York. 1047 00:58:29,930 --> 00:58:31,850 So we're taking him to York. 1048 00:58:32,970 --> 00:58:34,530 God, I miss him. 1049 00:58:35,210 --> 00:58:36,569 Me too. 1050 00:58:57,450 --> 00:58:58,369 - My... - Alex? 1051 00:58:58,369 --> 00:58:59,529 ...ashes. 1052 00:59:18,688 --> 00:59:20,089 Hi, James. 1053 00:59:24,928 --> 00:59:26,488 James says to call him. 1054 00:59:26,728 --> 00:59:28,009 What? 1055 00:59:28,009 --> 00:59:31,008 - Alex, what did you say-- - Fuck off. As if I'd tell him. 1056 00:59:31,008 --> 00:59:32,608 Give me a bit of credit. 1057 00:59:33,649 --> 00:59:34,809 Sorry. 1058 00:59:35,369 --> 00:59:39,849 I just said we're on our way to York and that your phone's run out. 1059 00:59:41,528 --> 00:59:43,888 Look, I'm sorry if what I did upset you. 1060 00:59:43,888 --> 00:59:45,408 That's not an apology. 1061 00:59:45,408 --> 00:59:46,409 What? 1062 00:59:46,409 --> 00:59:48,208 If you put the onus on the person's reaction 1063 00:59:48,208 --> 00:59:51,328 rather than what you did, it's not an apology. 1064 00:59:51,808 --> 00:59:54,168 "Sorry for what I did" is being actually sorry. 1065 00:59:54,168 --> 00:59:56,728 "Sorry if what I did upset you" is not. 1066 00:59:56,928 --> 00:59:59,168 You're basically telling me I'm being overly sensitive. 1067 00:59:59,168 --> 01:00:00,528 Jesus Christ. 1068 01:00:01,248 --> 01:00:04,648 - Look, Al. I just wanted-- - We don't have to talk about it. 1069 01:00:04,648 --> 01:00:06,568 - I want to! - Well, I don't. 1070 01:00:06,568 --> 01:00:08,568 - Why not? - Why, do you think? 1071 01:00:08,728 --> 01:00:11,168 - It's not the same. - Stop talking about it! 1072 01:00:11,168 --> 01:00:15,448 Look, it's not like I think that what she did to you is okay, Al. 1073 01:00:17,328 --> 01:00:19,208 What the fuck are you doing? 1074 01:00:19,208 --> 01:00:21,247 If I say I don't wanna talk about something, 1075 01:00:21,247 --> 01:00:23,207 I fucking mean it, all right? 1076 01:00:35,808 --> 01:00:36,967 Fuck! 1077 01:00:37,807 --> 01:00:39,807 Have you ever done an Airbnb before? 1078 01:00:39,807 --> 01:00:42,726 No. Weirdly, I still prefer hotels to complete strangers' houses. 1079 01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:44,087 Excellent. 1080 01:00:44,647 --> 01:00:46,607 So our host's name is Doug. 1081 01:00:46,847 --> 01:00:49,526 Twenty five reviews of people saying what a nice man he is. 1082 01:00:49,526 --> 01:00:52,726 You're gonna get a bonk on him as well, are you? 1083 01:00:59,246 --> 01:01:00,606 My goodness. 1084 01:01:01,287 --> 01:01:02,447 How tragic! 1085 01:01:04,006 --> 01:01:06,006 Do you know why he chose York? 1086 01:01:06,447 --> 01:01:08,806 We tend to find out when we watch the videos. 1087 01:01:08,806 --> 01:01:10,206 I see. 1088 01:01:10,967 --> 01:01:11,966 Must be off. 1089 01:01:11,966 --> 01:01:13,247 Rehearsals. 1090 01:01:13,726 --> 01:01:16,486 Look, I'll... I'll leave you these keys. 1091 01:01:16,886 --> 01:01:18,086 Are you an actor? 1092 01:01:18,846 --> 01:01:20,006 Am-dram. 1093 01:01:20,607 --> 01:01:22,126 What are you rehearsing? 1094 01:01:22,126 --> 01:01:23,286 The passion. 1095 01:01:23,526 --> 01:01:24,726 The Passion of the Christ. 1096 01:01:24,726 --> 01:01:25,926 All right. Wow. 1097 01:01:25,926 --> 01:01:27,926 Seph's an actress... sometimes. 1098 01:01:27,926 --> 01:01:29,246 Chapeau, my friend. 1099 01:01:29,366 --> 01:01:30,766 Chapeau! 1100 01:01:54,486 --> 01:01:55,725 Excuse me. 1101 01:01:56,086 --> 01:01:57,246 - Hi. - Hi. 1102 01:01:57,685 --> 01:01:58,966 - Hi. - Hi. 1103 01:02:01,166 --> 01:02:03,806 - Oh, sorry. Did you want to... - Oh, no. 1104 01:02:03,925 --> 01:02:05,325 After you. 1105 01:02:06,925 --> 01:02:08,325 Okay. 1106 01:02:18,084 --> 01:02:19,445 - All done? - Yeah. 1107 01:02:21,004 --> 01:02:22,404 Go on, love. 1108 01:02:29,124 --> 01:02:31,644 - His mum. - All right. I'm sorry. 1109 01:02:32,685 --> 01:02:33,964 I'm not. 1110 01:02:41,964 --> 01:02:43,244 Hey, guys. 1111 01:02:48,044 --> 01:02:50,804 I just got back from seeing your play, Seph. 1112 01:02:50,804 --> 01:02:52,004 Little Women. 1113 01:02:53,164 --> 01:02:54,364 Jesus. 1114 01:02:54,844 --> 01:02:56,245 It is... 1115 01:02:56,485 --> 01:03:00,884 the first time I felt relatively okay about facing imminent death. 1116 01:03:00,924 --> 01:03:04,284 It was fucking shit. 1117 01:03:05,364 --> 01:03:09,084 Yeah, and Alex was meant to meet me for dinner before... 1118 01:03:09,164 --> 01:03:12,044 but she was late so I had a pizza on my own. 1119 01:03:12,724 --> 01:03:16,124 Gonna feel pretty bad about that now, Al, aren't you? 1120 01:03:16,124 --> 01:03:17,484 Yeah. 1121 01:03:17,964 --> 01:03:19,163 You should. 1122 01:03:24,164 --> 01:03:26,044 So York's pretty nice, huh? 1123 01:03:26,204 --> 01:03:27,403 Mm-hmm. 1124 01:03:27,564 --> 01:03:29,564 It's where my dad was born... 1125 01:03:30,644 --> 01:03:34,763 and where Mum and Henry decided to get married. 1126 01:03:35,643 --> 01:03:37,002 Good one. 1127 01:03:37,963 --> 01:03:39,602 Broke his fucking heart. 1128 01:03:42,203 --> 01:03:43,603 Mum. 1129 01:03:46,003 --> 01:03:47,522 You're probably watching all of these 1130 01:03:47,522 --> 01:03:50,483 even though I've expressly told you not to. 1131 01:03:52,203 --> 01:03:53,523 You're a bitch. 1132 01:03:56,723 --> 01:03:58,002 He's dead. 1133 01:03:58,683 --> 01:04:00,002 I'm nearly dead... 1134 01:04:01,402 --> 01:04:04,842 and you're just there, pottering around, doing... 1135 01:04:05,723 --> 01:04:09,522 I don't know, whatever the fuck pointless things you do. 1136 01:04:10,482 --> 01:04:12,243 Tell me, how is that fair? 1137 01:04:13,322 --> 01:04:14,682 Huh? 1138 01:04:15,163 --> 01:04:16,563 I'm fucking... 1139 01:04:17,842 --> 01:04:19,123 I'm 29. 1140 01:04:30,962 --> 01:04:33,402 So... I had my CT today. 1141 01:04:33,882 --> 01:04:35,282 And... 1142 01:04:35,442 --> 01:04:38,242 I'm fucked. Totally. It's not working. 1143 01:04:44,282 --> 01:04:45,602 And God... 1144 01:04:46,282 --> 01:04:48,562 You know, tonight, Al, you... 1145 01:04:49,202 --> 01:04:52,002 You actually complimented me on my beanie. 1146 01:04:53,042 --> 01:04:54,202 Yeah. 1147 01:04:54,202 --> 01:04:55,602 I mean... 1148 01:04:55,802 --> 01:04:58,282 I mean, sure. I'm on trend, as usual. 1149 01:04:58,402 --> 01:04:59,682 But, fuck. 1150 01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:08,921 And... 1151 01:05:10,801 --> 01:05:12,080 I'm sorry. 1152 01:05:12,841 --> 01:05:14,080 I am sorry... 1153 01:05:15,081 --> 01:05:19,361 I'm lying to you, but, seriously, fuck you for believing me. 1154 01:05:31,841 --> 01:05:34,400 I thought I was gonna be good at dying. 1155 01:05:35,481 --> 01:05:37,161 Like, really good. 1156 01:05:37,240 --> 01:05:38,440 Like... 1157 01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:40,601 they'd project me at Ted Talks, 1158 01:05:40,601 --> 01:05:43,121 and I'd be appreciated after my time. 1159 01:05:45,961 --> 01:05:47,480 But no. Turns out... 1160 01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:49,960 I don't wanna die. 1161 01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:52,201 I love being alive. 1162 01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:55,800 Much more than you two. 1163 01:05:56,600 --> 01:05:58,000 You just... 1164 01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:01,080 fucking moan and feel sorry for yourselves. 1165 01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:05,120 You just go on and on and on and on and on, all the time. 1166 01:06:05,201 --> 01:06:07,201 It's so fucking tedious. 1167 01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:16,120 Seph. 1168 01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,720 You need to get your head out of your arse 1169 01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:20,840 and realize that you're not really good at acting. 1170 01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:23,400 No one will ever tell you that, so I'm doing it. 1171 01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:24,760 I don't give a fuck. 1172 01:06:24,760 --> 01:06:26,040 Do something else. 1173 01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:30,720 Alex is too polite to say anything, but I bet she agrees with me. 1174 01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:35,559 James is too fucking supportive to say anything either. 1175 01:06:35,639 --> 01:06:40,559 He's an idiot. He's a fucking patronizing idiot. 1176 01:06:44,558 --> 01:06:47,239 Yeah, and don't think you're getting off the hook... 1177 01:06:47,239 --> 01:06:48,879 Alex. No. 1178 01:06:49,958 --> 01:06:51,678 You say you're honest. 1179 01:06:52,839 --> 01:06:56,158 Yeah? You say you pride yourself on that? 1180 01:06:56,839 --> 01:06:59,239 And then you keep all these secrets. 1181 01:06:59,838 --> 01:07:01,038 Amy. 1182 01:07:01,439 --> 01:07:03,439 Has she told you about Amy yet, Seph? 1183 01:07:03,439 --> 01:07:06,599 No, probably not, even though I asked you to. 1184 01:07:06,958 --> 01:07:08,918 So fuck you if you didn't. 1185 01:07:09,439 --> 01:07:12,038 Because you should be doing what I say. 1186 01:07:14,318 --> 01:07:15,718 And you're a liar. 1187 01:07:17,359 --> 01:07:18,798 You push people away. 1188 01:07:22,999 --> 01:07:25,158 I mean, what's the point of you? 1189 01:07:26,718 --> 01:07:28,919 Either of you. What's the point? 1190 01:07:59,038 --> 01:08:00,398 Hey. 1191 01:08:01,638 --> 01:08:02,837 I'm in York. 1192 01:08:03,197 --> 01:08:04,437 Don't tell Seph. 1193 01:08:05,197 --> 01:08:06,357 Where are you? 1194 01:08:14,957 --> 01:08:17,757 Right. There's something you should know. 1195 01:08:18,157 --> 01:08:19,557 What? 1196 01:08:20,677 --> 01:08:22,157 Oh, my God, is that... 1197 01:08:26,197 --> 01:08:27,477 - Hi. - Hi. 1198 01:08:28,676 --> 01:08:32,356 - Al, do you mind giving us a minute? - Yeah, absolutely. 1199 01:08:33,357 --> 01:08:34,277 You good for a drink? 1200 01:08:34,277 --> 01:08:35,677 - Yeah. Yeah. - Cool. 1201 01:08:39,357 --> 01:08:40,677 Are you okay? 1202 01:08:41,797 --> 01:08:43,917 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1203 01:08:44,357 --> 01:08:45,837 You're unbelievable, Seph. 1204 01:08:45,837 --> 01:08:47,037 Unbelievable! 1205 01:08:47,716 --> 01:08:49,197 Okay? You lose your job, 1206 01:08:49,197 --> 01:08:52,516 which, pardon me for trying to be helpful, I got you, 1207 01:08:52,516 --> 01:08:54,716 making me look like a fucking idiot in front of my boss 1208 01:08:54,716 --> 01:08:57,036 because you're supposed to be looking after his only child, 1209 01:08:57,036 --> 01:08:58,956 and he has to tell me that you've told his wife 1210 01:08:58,956 --> 01:09:00,037 to go fuck herself... 1211 01:09:00,037 --> 01:09:02,277 and thrown a baby monitor at her? 1212 01:09:02,676 --> 01:09:04,676 And then you just take off without even telling me. 1213 01:09:04,676 --> 01:09:06,356 I've got no clue where the fuck you are, 1214 01:09:06,356 --> 01:09:08,316 apart from the fact that you're with Al somewhere. 1215 01:09:08,316 --> 01:09:13,156 And I thank God for that, because at least she picks up her fucking phone. 1216 01:09:13,756 --> 01:09:15,116 Sorry. 1217 01:09:17,557 --> 01:09:20,636 Look, and you can't just write it off as grief... 1218 01:09:20,636 --> 01:09:21,996 To being upset. 1219 01:09:22,476 --> 01:09:26,876 Other people are finding it hard too, you know? It's not just you. 1220 01:09:27,796 --> 01:09:31,076 It is possible to deal with things in a better... 1221 01:09:31,595 --> 01:09:33,075 in a less selfish way. 1222 01:09:36,915 --> 01:09:39,035 I've been so worried about you. 1223 01:09:39,675 --> 01:09:40,795 - James, I... - No. 1224 01:09:40,795 --> 01:09:42,595 Listen, you don't need me. 1225 01:09:44,395 --> 01:09:45,875 And I don't need you. 1226 01:09:51,835 --> 01:09:53,115 But I want you. 1227 01:09:53,915 --> 01:09:55,195 Seph. 1228 01:09:55,195 --> 01:09:56,795 I... I want you so much. 1229 01:09:57,715 --> 01:09:58,995 Will you marry me? 1230 01:09:59,755 --> 01:10:01,075 Jesus. Fuck. 1231 01:10:02,034 --> 01:10:03,435 Yes. 1232 01:10:04,555 --> 01:10:05,955 Yes. 1233 01:10:06,715 --> 01:10:08,075 God. 1234 01:10:08,594 --> 01:10:09,915 Oh, my God. 1235 01:10:16,754 --> 01:10:18,275 Are you sure you don't mind? 1236 01:10:18,275 --> 01:10:21,795 Of course not! I mean, you two should, you know, have a night in. 1237 01:10:21,795 --> 01:10:23,395 I mean, congratulations. 1238 01:10:23,395 --> 01:10:24,474 - Thank you. - So great! 1239 01:10:24,474 --> 01:10:25,675 What the fuck are you doing? 1240 01:10:25,675 --> 01:10:27,755 I've got to get back for a lunchtime meeting, so... 1241 01:10:27,755 --> 01:10:30,354 - I'll see you in London, okay? - Oh, yes. Yeah. 1242 01:10:30,354 --> 01:10:31,435 But, hey! 1243 01:10:31,435 --> 01:10:35,834 Chief bridesmaid, so go ahead and start buying penis straws... 1244 01:10:35,915 --> 01:10:37,355 and booking strippers... 1245 01:10:37,355 --> 01:10:39,875 - Yeah! - ...and all the classic stuff. 1246 01:10:39,915 --> 01:10:41,434 All right, then. Bye. 1247 01:10:41,514 --> 01:10:42,715 - Bye. - See ya. 1248 01:10:45,634 --> 01:10:46,995 Come on. 1249 01:10:55,154 --> 01:10:57,715 I mean, what is the point of you? 1250 01:10:58,434 --> 01:11:00,154 Seriously. Either of you. 1251 01:11:03,473 --> 01:11:04,713 What's the point? 1252 01:11:08,633 --> 01:11:09,993 You're a liar. 1253 01:11:11,873 --> 01:11:13,313 You push people away. 1254 01:11:54,432 --> 01:11:56,672 - Hi, Doug. I was just-- - Where's the other one? 1255 01:11:56,672 --> 01:11:57,993 - Who? Seph? - The actress. 1256 01:11:57,993 --> 01:12:00,312 She's... I... I don't know. I just tried to call her, but-- 1257 01:12:00,312 --> 01:12:01,752 - Damn! - What's wrong? 1258 01:12:01,752 --> 01:12:04,592 Well, it's a disaster. A fucking disaster, excuse my language. 1259 01:12:04,592 --> 01:12:05,792 What's happened? 1260 01:12:05,992 --> 01:12:07,873 Can you spare me three hours? 1261 01:12:07,873 --> 01:12:09,472 I'm desperate. Please. 1262 01:12:09,472 --> 01:12:11,192 Legally, we can't put on a performance 1263 01:12:11,192 --> 01:12:13,753 without a full dress to test out all the harnesses and so. 1264 01:12:13,753 --> 01:12:15,553 And then he hasn't showed up! 1265 01:12:15,553 --> 01:12:17,032 Who hasn't turned up? 1266 01:12:17,632 --> 01:12:19,072 We're so grateful. Thank you. 1267 01:12:19,072 --> 01:12:20,712 Right. Back in a second. 1268 01:12:20,792 --> 01:12:22,392 Sorry, where are you going? 1269 01:12:22,392 --> 01:12:23,632 Hang tight, kid. 1270 01:12:23,792 --> 01:12:25,113 What? 1271 01:12:25,113 --> 01:12:26,512 Where-- 1272 01:12:28,672 --> 01:12:29,831 Come back! 1273 01:12:35,632 --> 01:12:37,751 What on earth is going on? 1274 01:12:37,991 --> 01:12:39,951 What took you so long? 1275 01:12:40,111 --> 01:12:42,432 I mean, this is truly 1276 01:12:42,511 --> 01:12:46,871 an extraordinarily literal manifestation of your maso-complex, Al. 1277 01:12:46,871 --> 01:12:48,191 Fuck off. 1278 01:12:48,191 --> 01:12:50,151 I assume your version of the Son of God 1279 01:12:50,151 --> 01:12:52,471 is one where he's got all these weird secrets. 1280 01:12:52,471 --> 01:12:54,871 And he's secretly been shagging someone called Amy, 1281 01:12:54,871 --> 01:12:55,991 rather than Mary Magdalene. 1282 01:12:55,991 --> 01:12:58,431 Seph, seriously, you don't know what you're talking about. 1283 01:12:58,431 --> 01:12:59,751 Oh, go on, then. 1284 01:13:00,071 --> 01:13:01,431 Talk to me. 1285 01:13:02,031 --> 01:13:03,191 Talk to me! 1286 01:13:04,790 --> 01:13:07,791 Look, I'm an awful person, okay? I'm awful. 1287 01:13:07,991 --> 01:13:09,271 I'm a cock. 1288 01:13:09,271 --> 01:13:12,511 I did a rude in a toilet with a man I don't know. 1289 01:13:12,791 --> 01:13:15,471 I'm a filthy slapper, whatever. 1290 01:13:15,830 --> 01:13:17,751 Are you... Are you drinking wine? 1291 01:13:17,751 --> 01:13:19,071 Look... 1292 01:13:19,071 --> 01:13:21,911 I don't think telling James is a solution here. 1293 01:13:21,911 --> 01:13:24,590 I don't think that alleviating my guilt by telling him is-- 1294 01:13:24,590 --> 01:13:26,350 All right, yeah. Here we go. 1295 01:13:26,350 --> 01:13:27,391 I'm serious. 1296 01:13:27,391 --> 01:13:29,871 I mean, what good would it do him, actually, to know? 1297 01:13:29,871 --> 01:13:31,271 He'll know! 1298 01:13:31,750 --> 01:13:33,110 Knowing is... 1299 01:13:33,390 --> 01:13:35,750 It... It's really important, Seph. 1300 01:13:36,471 --> 01:13:39,110 If you don't know stuff, then you don't know someone. 1301 01:13:39,110 --> 01:13:40,550 - Bullshit. - He's a nice guy! 1302 01:13:40,550 --> 01:13:41,670 He's not a nice guy. 1303 01:13:41,670 --> 01:13:43,991 Oh, Seph, fuck off. He is a nice guy. 1304 01:13:43,991 --> 01:13:46,071 Okay. So he is a nice guy. 1305 01:13:46,150 --> 01:13:47,910 Yes. I think you did a bad thing, okay? 1306 01:13:47,910 --> 01:13:50,350 You did a shit thing. You're a shit. 1307 01:13:51,270 --> 01:13:53,951 But that's not the thing, okay? The sex isn't the thing. 1308 01:13:53,951 --> 01:13:55,430 But to not tell him... 1309 01:13:55,951 --> 01:13:57,550 and then agree to marry him! 1310 01:13:57,550 --> 01:14:00,510 I'm not actually going to marry him! Jesus! 1311 01:14:01,189 --> 01:14:02,349 I was just... 1312 01:14:02,989 --> 01:14:04,710 shocked by what Dan... 1313 01:14:05,870 --> 01:14:08,749 I was angry about what he said about James. 1314 01:14:09,109 --> 01:14:11,550 And I didn't want to humiliate him in the pub... 1315 01:14:11,550 --> 01:14:16,429 despite his fucking Mr. Darcy "I love you in spite of yourself" proposal. 1316 01:14:17,149 --> 01:14:18,989 I'm not gonna actually go through with it. 1317 01:14:18,989 --> 01:14:21,069 Well, then that's really shit. 1318 01:14:21,709 --> 01:14:23,949 And I think Pandora did a shit thing to me... 1319 01:14:23,949 --> 01:14:26,069 because she could have just told me she wasn't happy. 1320 01:14:26,069 --> 01:14:27,349 - Could she? - Yes, she could! 1321 01:14:27,349 --> 01:14:28,789 Of course, she could. 1322 01:14:29,109 --> 01:14:30,349 But she didn't. 1323 01:14:30,989 --> 01:14:33,789 She lied. She fucking... She fucking lied. 1324 01:14:34,269 --> 01:14:37,868 And you're doing exactly the same thing to James. You're doing... 1325 01:14:37,868 --> 01:14:40,148 And you're gonna break his heart. 1326 01:14:40,148 --> 01:14:41,509 I just can't... I can't... 1327 01:14:41,509 --> 01:14:44,388 I can't... I can't deal with people. 1328 01:14:45,309 --> 01:14:47,709 I can't deal with them... Their thoughts and their feelings 1329 01:14:47,709 --> 01:14:50,348 and their lives being all mixed up with mine. 1330 01:14:50,348 --> 01:14:51,748 Just fuck off. 1331 01:14:51,788 --> 01:14:52,908 Alex, please. 1332 01:14:52,908 --> 01:14:56,389 I'm sorry I've been such a dick, okay? I really am. 1333 01:14:57,108 --> 01:14:58,989 And I know you think I'm... 1334 01:14:59,229 --> 01:15:02,389 evil and that I'm like Pandora, but I'm really not. 1335 01:15:02,389 --> 01:15:03,789 Okay? 1336 01:15:03,789 --> 01:15:04,989 And I'm sorry. 1337 01:15:05,149 --> 01:15:07,068 I'm sorry I'm not like you. 1338 01:15:07,308 --> 01:15:10,748 I wish I was. Honestly. I really, really wish I was. 1339 01:15:11,229 --> 01:15:12,909 I wish that I had your morals. 1340 01:15:12,909 --> 01:15:13,828 But I don't. 1341 01:15:13,828 --> 01:15:15,149 I killed my sister. 1342 01:15:16,869 --> 01:15:18,229 What? 1343 01:15:19,028 --> 01:15:20,229 Amy. 1344 01:15:20,908 --> 01:15:22,269 That's who Amy is. 1345 01:15:29,987 --> 01:15:31,507 Amy got hit by a car. 1346 01:15:32,948 --> 01:15:34,708 All that stuff with Mum... 1347 01:15:34,867 --> 01:15:36,068 Me and Mum, why it's hard? 1348 01:15:36,068 --> 01:15:37,627 Well, it's that. 1349 01:15:40,948 --> 01:15:43,188 Amy got hit by a car and she died. 1350 01:15:43,347 --> 01:15:46,227 It was all because of me. Well, definitely. 1351 01:15:46,787 --> 01:15:49,027 And I told Dan once, when we were really drunk. 1352 01:15:49,027 --> 01:15:51,587 And I made him promise not to tell you. 1353 01:15:51,747 --> 01:15:53,067 Not to tell anyone. 1354 01:15:55,507 --> 01:15:56,667 I was five. 1355 01:15:57,787 --> 01:15:59,787 And she was two and a half. 1356 01:16:01,227 --> 01:16:02,667 She was really small. 1357 01:16:02,987 --> 01:16:04,347 Tiny. 1358 01:16:05,867 --> 01:16:07,867 And I was... I was making a... 1359 01:16:08,707 --> 01:16:11,627 you know, those daisy chain crown things... 1360 01:16:12,946 --> 01:16:15,147 And I... I left her to go pick some more... 1361 01:16:15,147 --> 01:16:16,227 when I shouldn't... 1362 01:16:16,227 --> 01:16:18,427 and she ran out into the front... 1363 01:16:24,266 --> 01:16:25,827 Mum and Dad split up... 1364 01:16:26,506 --> 01:16:28,107 mainly because of that. 1365 01:16:30,307 --> 01:16:31,867 It was just me and her. 1366 01:16:33,227 --> 01:16:35,227 And she was really nice most of the time... 1367 01:16:35,227 --> 01:16:39,467 but then she'd get drunk and she'd tell me it was all my fault. 1368 01:16:40,746 --> 01:16:43,027 Though she feels bad about it now. 1369 01:16:45,067 --> 01:16:49,706 We just... I just don't... I just don't really like being around her. 1370 01:16:54,707 --> 01:16:57,506 People just, they want stuff from you, you know? 1371 01:16:57,506 --> 01:17:00,265 And you can't give it to them even if you try. 1372 01:17:00,265 --> 01:17:03,625 You just end up hurting them, so there's no point. 1373 01:17:04,745 --> 01:17:09,345 I don't think you're bad or evil or whatever it is you think I think. 1374 01:17:09,545 --> 01:17:13,505 I just think you should just not be with James. 1375 01:17:14,065 --> 01:17:15,625 - You... - Al-- 1376 01:17:15,865 --> 01:17:18,065 Fuck, Dan! I swear to God. Fuck him. 1377 01:17:18,065 --> 01:17:19,265 Fuck you! 1378 01:17:25,145 --> 01:17:26,305 I'm sorry. 1379 01:17:26,505 --> 01:17:27,866 I'm sorry. 1380 01:17:27,866 --> 01:17:29,065 I'm so sorry. 1381 01:17:31,065 --> 01:17:32,585 Um... 1382 01:17:36,545 --> 01:17:39,225 And you and your mum never talk about it? 1383 01:17:39,305 --> 01:17:40,705 No. 1384 01:17:41,465 --> 01:17:42,785 What about Pandora? 1385 01:17:43,145 --> 01:17:44,545 God, no. 1386 01:17:46,185 --> 01:17:47,984 Al, you should talk to someone. 1387 01:17:47,984 --> 01:17:49,385 Yeah, I know. 1388 01:17:50,385 --> 01:17:51,785 It's just... 1389 01:17:52,665 --> 01:17:55,385 I worry about starting talking, you know? 1390 01:17:57,425 --> 01:17:59,344 What happens if you start... 1391 01:17:59,785 --> 01:18:02,144 and, I don't know, you can't stop? 1392 01:18:03,425 --> 01:18:05,105 And you just become it... 1393 01:18:05,584 --> 01:18:07,305 You... You just become... 1394 01:18:07,465 --> 01:18:08,704 all of your stuff? 1395 01:18:14,785 --> 01:18:16,825 I don't wanna talk about Amy again, okay? 1396 01:18:16,825 --> 01:18:17,984 Please. 1397 01:18:17,984 --> 01:18:19,345 Okay. 1398 01:18:20,024 --> 01:18:22,145 I'm not being a dick. I just... 1399 01:18:22,224 --> 01:18:24,625 I don't remember anything about it. 1400 01:18:26,823 --> 01:18:28,263 Just what I got told. 1401 01:18:29,264 --> 01:18:32,183 I don't have my own actual memory about it. 1402 01:18:34,544 --> 01:18:35,744 It's all right. 1403 01:18:38,703 --> 01:18:40,103 Are you okay? 1404 01:18:40,743 --> 01:18:42,143 Yeah. 1405 01:18:52,343 --> 01:18:55,143 I don't wanna scatter the last bit of Dan. 1406 01:18:55,264 --> 01:18:56,663 Me neither. 1407 01:18:58,664 --> 01:19:01,183 I don't wanna remember him right now. 1408 01:19:03,343 --> 01:19:05,583 Let's take him back to Amelia's. 1409 01:19:06,543 --> 01:19:07,903 Yeah. 1410 01:19:12,783 --> 01:19:16,023 - Are you sure you don't mind driving? - No, it's fine. 1411 01:19:16,023 --> 01:19:18,103 I'm just sorry I drank, again. 1412 01:19:18,223 --> 01:19:19,623 It's okay. 1413 01:19:19,743 --> 01:19:21,103 Let's just go home. 1414 01:19:22,103 --> 01:19:23,463 Yeah. 1415 01:19:32,543 --> 01:19:35,502 Now at least we don't have to go to Scotland. 1416 01:19:35,502 --> 01:19:37,222 Yeah. Too cold. 1417 01:19:40,862 --> 01:19:42,183 - Al. - What? 1418 01:19:42,703 --> 01:19:44,063 That's a bit weird. 1419 01:19:44,063 --> 01:19:45,943 Do you think we should stop? 1420 01:19:46,423 --> 01:19:48,703 - No. I don't-- - I'm sure it's fine. 1421 01:19:48,703 --> 01:19:51,142 - No, I don't. - She does look quite vulnerable, actually. 1422 01:19:51,142 --> 01:19:53,463 Look, we can't have this conversation in front of her. 1423 01:19:53,463 --> 01:19:54,821 Just keep driving. 1424 01:20:02,582 --> 01:20:03,541 What if it's a sign? 1425 01:20:03,541 --> 01:20:05,422 - What? - From Dan. 1426 01:20:05,422 --> 01:20:07,261 Never pick up hitchhikers. You know that. 1427 01:20:07,261 --> 01:20:11,382 Look, I really don't think Mary Poppins is going to rip us, do you? 1428 01:20:11,382 --> 01:20:13,701 What if someone dodgy picks her up? 1429 01:20:28,102 --> 01:20:29,261 Hello. 1430 01:20:29,981 --> 01:20:31,381 Hello. 1431 01:20:31,821 --> 01:20:33,101 You okay? 1432 01:20:34,261 --> 01:20:35,661 Yes. 1433 01:20:36,461 --> 01:20:37,661 I'm Seph. 1434 01:20:38,542 --> 01:20:39,982 - Sorry? - Seph. 1435 01:20:40,661 --> 01:20:41,861 Persephone. 1436 01:20:42,541 --> 01:20:43,701 Lovely name. 1437 01:20:43,781 --> 01:20:44,941 Thank you. 1438 01:20:44,941 --> 01:20:46,341 I'm Alex. 1439 01:20:46,381 --> 01:20:47,342 Alexandra? 1440 01:20:47,342 --> 01:20:48,541 Oh, just Alex. 1441 01:20:49,781 --> 01:20:51,781 Oh, sorry. I'm Diana. 1442 01:20:54,221 --> 01:20:56,821 So where is it you want to... to get to? 1443 01:20:56,821 --> 01:20:58,061 Oxnam... 1444 01:20:58,380 --> 01:20:59,741 where my son lives. 1445 01:21:00,221 --> 01:21:01,421 Okay. 1446 01:21:03,421 --> 01:21:04,701 Is that an iPhone? 1447 01:21:05,541 --> 01:21:06,981 - Yeah. - It is, yeah. 1448 01:21:07,301 --> 01:21:08,421 You got one? 1449 01:21:08,421 --> 01:21:10,020 No. I lost my phone. 1450 01:21:10,541 --> 01:21:12,860 I mean, I didn't have one. 1451 01:21:15,660 --> 01:21:16,981 So... 1452 01:21:16,981 --> 01:21:18,061 Where is Oxnam? 1453 01:21:18,061 --> 01:21:19,981 Which... Which county is it? 1454 01:21:20,500 --> 01:21:21,661 Scotland. 1455 01:21:23,141 --> 01:21:24,419 Oh, um... 1456 01:21:25,380 --> 01:21:28,459 I'm so sorry, Diana. We're going south. 1457 01:21:29,900 --> 01:21:31,219 What? 1458 01:21:31,219 --> 01:21:33,779 We're headed south. I'm so sorry. We can't take you to Scotland. 1459 01:21:33,779 --> 01:21:35,140 What? 1460 01:21:37,700 --> 01:21:39,940 Hey, look. It's okay. It's okay. 1461 01:21:39,940 --> 01:21:42,859 We need to get petrol, so just come with us. 1462 01:21:42,939 --> 01:21:47,139 We'll take you to a service station, and we'll work out what to do. 1463 01:21:57,420 --> 01:21:58,739 It's a sign. 1464 01:21:58,739 --> 01:22:00,020 What else does Dan have to do? 1465 01:22:00,020 --> 01:22:01,980 Come back from the dead wearing a fucking kilt. 1466 01:22:01,980 --> 01:22:03,660 So now you do want to go to Scotland? 1467 01:22:03,660 --> 01:22:05,339 She's... I don't know. Yeah. 1468 01:22:05,339 --> 01:22:06,739 - Yes, I do. - Alex! 1469 01:22:07,019 --> 01:22:08,259 What? 1470 01:22:08,259 --> 01:22:10,059 There's something really not right about her. 1471 01:22:10,059 --> 01:22:11,419 - Exactly. - I'm not being a dick... 1472 01:22:11,419 --> 01:22:14,579 but do you think we should try and get her sectioned? 1473 01:22:14,579 --> 01:22:15,699 What? 1474 01:22:15,699 --> 01:22:17,379 I mean, for her own good. 1475 01:22:18,099 --> 01:22:20,579 You... You can't just get someone sectioned. 1476 01:22:20,579 --> 01:22:22,899 - Why not? - Because just... You can't! 1477 01:22:22,899 --> 01:22:26,179 You don't have a fucking roving rural team of mental health specialists 1478 01:22:26,179 --> 01:22:27,179 boning around Yorkshire. 1479 01:22:27,179 --> 01:22:29,139 I'm serious. She's mad. 1480 01:22:29,699 --> 01:22:32,019 - It's worrying me. - She's not mad. 1481 01:22:32,019 --> 01:22:35,059 She's running away from someone. Seph, I think she's really frightened. 1482 01:22:35,059 --> 01:22:36,419 Yes. 1483 01:22:37,619 --> 01:22:40,139 We're going to drive you to Scotland. 1484 01:22:40,459 --> 01:22:41,859 Are... Are you sure? 1485 01:22:43,499 --> 01:22:44,699 Yes. 1486 01:22:52,539 --> 01:22:54,498 Did you laminate that, Diana? 1487 01:22:55,698 --> 01:22:58,697 Oh, yes. I thought for the rain here. 1488 01:23:01,258 --> 01:23:03,177 I'm sorry for what I said... 1489 01:23:03,217 --> 01:23:04,378 the mad business. 1490 01:23:04,378 --> 01:23:06,178 Oh, gosh. Don't be. 1491 01:23:07,098 --> 01:23:09,177 I'm sorry you were frightened. 1492 01:23:09,937 --> 01:23:12,537 I'm just not quite... myself. 1493 01:23:16,618 --> 01:23:18,378 Are either of you married? 1494 01:23:18,578 --> 01:23:19,937 - No. - No. 1495 01:23:20,338 --> 01:23:21,897 Don't you have a ring? 1496 01:23:22,058 --> 01:23:23,377 I saw it before. 1497 01:23:24,097 --> 01:23:25,458 Yeah. 1498 01:23:25,658 --> 01:23:26,858 I do. 1499 01:23:27,978 --> 01:23:29,257 I'm not sure. 1500 01:23:29,857 --> 01:23:31,217 Is he... Is he nice? 1501 01:23:32,177 --> 01:23:33,817 Yeah, he's really nice. 1502 01:23:34,897 --> 01:23:37,417 But he might be nice for someone else. 1503 01:23:39,257 --> 01:23:40,497 Where's yours? 1504 01:23:40,777 --> 01:23:42,138 Not... 1505 01:23:42,418 --> 01:23:43,497 Not nice? 1506 01:23:43,497 --> 01:23:44,937 Seph, for God's sake. 1507 01:23:44,937 --> 01:23:46,098 No, he isn't. 1508 01:23:49,498 --> 01:23:51,657 So you said your son's in Oxnam. 1509 01:23:53,137 --> 01:23:55,977 - Sorry? - Your son. You said that's where he lives. 1510 01:23:55,977 --> 01:23:57,217 Yes. 1511 01:23:57,217 --> 01:23:58,777 - He's a vet. - Right. 1512 01:24:00,337 --> 01:24:02,937 I haven't seen him for... for years. 1513 01:24:05,457 --> 01:24:06,817 His father... My... 1514 01:24:07,257 --> 01:24:08,657 He was... 1515 01:24:09,017 --> 01:24:11,497 He made him leave when he... 1516 01:24:12,617 --> 01:24:13,817 And, I didn't. 1517 01:24:15,777 --> 01:24:16,937 Daniel. 1518 01:24:16,937 --> 01:24:17,937 - What? - What? 1519 01:24:17,937 --> 01:24:19,256 That's his name. 1520 01:24:19,497 --> 01:24:20,737 Daniel. 1521 01:24:20,937 --> 01:24:22,336 Dan. 1522 01:24:25,976 --> 01:24:27,215 I need a drink. 1523 01:24:31,096 --> 01:24:33,016 What would you like to drink, Diana? 1524 01:24:33,016 --> 01:24:34,255 Oh, let me, please. 1525 01:24:34,255 --> 01:24:37,176 No, no, it's my round. What would you like? 1526 01:24:38,616 --> 01:24:40,096 A whiskey, please. 1527 01:24:41,216 --> 01:24:42,416 Some coke. 1528 01:24:42,936 --> 01:24:45,335 I'm just gonna go have a cigarette. 1529 01:24:45,416 --> 01:24:46,616 Can I come? 1530 01:24:46,975 --> 01:24:48,135 Yeah, of course. 1531 01:24:49,136 --> 01:24:50,095 Do you want one? 1532 01:24:50,095 --> 01:24:51,895 Oh, no. I don't, thank you. 1533 01:24:51,895 --> 01:24:53,255 All right. 1534 01:24:59,096 --> 01:25:00,776 Hey, have you got any cash? 1535 01:25:00,776 --> 01:25:01,735 What? 1536 01:25:01,735 --> 01:25:03,215 They don't take card. 1537 01:25:03,936 --> 01:25:05,256 Oh, here. Let me. 1538 01:25:05,296 --> 01:25:08,136 Oh, no. No. I wanted to because of, you know, before. 1539 01:25:08,136 --> 01:25:09,415 No, please. 1540 01:25:09,415 --> 01:25:12,215 And I... I want to pay you for the petrol as well. 1541 01:25:12,215 --> 01:25:13,855 I wrote it on my sign. 1542 01:25:14,096 --> 01:25:15,695 No, you don't have to-- 1543 01:25:18,936 --> 01:25:20,336 I'll pay you back. 1544 01:25:24,415 --> 01:25:25,775 Is... 1545 01:25:26,375 --> 01:25:28,095 Is that all your money? 1546 01:25:30,735 --> 01:25:32,295 You don't have a card? 1547 01:25:32,655 --> 01:25:34,575 You shouldn't be carrying around that much cash. 1548 01:25:34,575 --> 01:25:36,775 - I don't have a bank account. - Right. 1549 01:25:36,775 --> 01:25:39,775 I think he was gearing up to kill me finally. 1550 01:25:40,775 --> 01:25:42,215 Maybe I do sound mad. 1551 01:25:43,215 --> 01:25:44,375 No. 1552 01:25:45,655 --> 01:25:48,335 We'll get you to your son's. I promise. 1553 01:25:49,175 --> 01:25:50,375 It's okay. 1554 01:25:56,054 --> 01:25:57,733 It's okay. Don't worry. 1555 01:26:01,374 --> 01:26:03,294 So we just thought... 1556 01:26:03,334 --> 01:26:04,253 enough. 1557 01:26:04,253 --> 01:26:06,014 And we don't want to remember him like that. 1558 01:26:06,014 --> 01:26:07,414 Yeah. 1559 01:26:08,054 --> 01:26:09,214 But... 1560 01:26:09,653 --> 01:26:11,053 What? 1561 01:26:11,374 --> 01:26:13,654 I'm sorry. Forgive me for saying this. 1562 01:26:13,654 --> 01:26:15,293 - Yeah, that's okay. - What? 1563 01:26:15,293 --> 01:26:16,854 He's very ill... 1564 01:26:17,454 --> 01:26:19,773 this boy, your friend. He's dying. 1565 01:26:21,294 --> 01:26:22,534 He's just... 1566 01:26:23,334 --> 01:26:24,693 angry. 1567 01:26:25,054 --> 01:26:26,333 Mad. Cruel. 1568 01:26:27,574 --> 01:26:29,493 But he's not angry with you. 1569 01:26:31,133 --> 01:26:32,533 You should take him. 1570 01:26:33,214 --> 01:26:34,374 Finish it. 1571 01:26:35,294 --> 01:26:38,134 Because if you don't, you might regret it. 1572 01:26:38,654 --> 01:26:40,533 You will regret it. 1573 01:26:42,014 --> 01:26:43,333 You'll feel bad... 1574 01:26:43,973 --> 01:26:45,853 and you'll always feel bad. 1575 01:26:47,293 --> 01:26:50,653 And you'll say you'll come back here and do it... 1576 01:26:51,974 --> 01:26:53,173 but you won't. 1577 01:28:25,292 --> 01:28:26,611 You know... 1578 01:28:27,091 --> 01:28:28,611 I don't think it's... 1579 01:28:28,611 --> 01:28:31,131 Actually, I... I don't think it's... 1580 01:28:31,331 --> 01:28:33,411 Because he looks so... 1581 01:28:35,091 --> 01:28:38,451 Yes. No, no, I... I don't think it's a good idea. 1582 01:28:38,771 --> 01:28:40,691 Yes. I think it's best if I... 1583 01:28:40,691 --> 01:28:44,211 Can you take me to the nearest train station, please? 1584 01:29:19,449 --> 01:29:20,650 It's all right. 1585 01:30:27,368 --> 01:30:28,728 You okay? 1586 01:30:29,569 --> 01:30:30,728 Yeah. 1587 01:30:33,648 --> 01:30:35,248 Give me a sec, Al, yeah? 1588 01:30:46,248 --> 01:30:47,448 Hi, James. 1589 01:30:48,528 --> 01:30:49,967 No, I'm fine. 1590 01:30:51,528 --> 01:30:52,888 Listen. 1591 01:31:17,008 --> 01:31:21,367 Sorry about the last time we... met. 1592 01:31:23,768 --> 01:31:26,287 Yeah, you probably wonder why I'm keeping that in... 1593 01:31:26,287 --> 01:31:28,968 Why not just make everything nice? 1594 01:31:30,767 --> 01:31:33,168 Well, 'cause that would be bullshit. 1595 01:31:33,287 --> 01:31:34,848 You know it. I know it. 1596 01:31:36,367 --> 01:31:38,288 And that's not what this is. 1597 01:31:41,847 --> 01:31:44,047 I can be a dick, as you know. 1598 01:31:45,527 --> 01:31:47,726 And you're both awful... 1599 01:31:48,806 --> 01:31:50,006 sometimes. 1600 01:31:51,846 --> 01:31:54,006 Yeah, I mean, mostly not, but... 1601 01:31:58,846 --> 01:32:00,326 Anyways, in, uh... 1602 01:32:01,126 --> 01:32:02,286 for honesty... 1603 01:32:04,126 --> 01:32:05,286 for balance. 1604 01:32:05,806 --> 01:32:07,166 And... 1605 01:32:07,726 --> 01:32:10,526 that may not seem like the right thing to do, but... 1606 01:32:10,526 --> 01:32:11,926 there you go. 1607 01:32:17,606 --> 01:32:18,805 You... 1608 01:32:21,566 --> 01:32:22,966 You were just here. 1609 01:32:25,206 --> 01:32:26,526 Came to visit me. 1610 01:32:34,486 --> 01:32:35,886 So... 1611 01:32:37,086 --> 01:32:38,605 Ben Lomond. 1612 01:32:39,566 --> 01:32:40,925 Um... 1613 01:32:41,165 --> 01:32:42,565 Yeah. 1614 01:32:43,046 --> 01:32:44,926 I... I came here with Henry. 1615 01:32:47,286 --> 01:32:48,485 I'd not been great. 1616 01:32:48,485 --> 01:32:50,126 I was 17... 1617 01:32:50,485 --> 01:32:52,086 Sad, self-indulgent... 1618 01:32:53,685 --> 01:32:55,605 just broken up with someone. 1619 01:32:56,006 --> 01:32:59,285 Okay, fair enough, she'd just broken up with me. 1620 01:33:01,166 --> 01:33:04,326 And Henry took me on a walking holiday. 1621 01:33:06,246 --> 01:33:07,605 Um... 1622 01:33:08,526 --> 01:33:09,886 Yeah, and it was... 1623 01:33:10,165 --> 01:33:13,445 honestly, one of the best things I've ever done. 1624 01:33:15,805 --> 01:33:18,125 We were out there for about a week. 1625 01:33:18,764 --> 01:33:20,484 Yeah, I hated it at first. 1626 01:33:20,484 --> 01:33:22,484 Hated him for taking me there. 1627 01:33:22,924 --> 01:33:26,324 We had these really long, awkward walks in silence. 1628 01:33:29,324 --> 01:33:30,524 But then... 1629 01:33:32,244 --> 01:33:33,484 I don't know. 1630 01:33:35,284 --> 01:33:38,564 Well, no. I do know. I just stopped being a dick. 1631 01:33:39,764 --> 01:33:41,044 And... 1632 01:33:41,684 --> 01:33:44,684 Ben Lomond was where we went on the last day. 1633 01:33:46,204 --> 01:33:47,164 And I think... 1634 01:33:47,164 --> 01:33:51,484 it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen in my life. 1635 01:33:55,244 --> 01:33:56,804 Yeah, and when we got to the top, 1636 01:33:56,804 --> 01:33:59,844 I remember thinking very clearly to myself... 1637 01:34:01,324 --> 01:34:03,084 I wanna come here again... 1638 01:34:03,684 --> 01:34:08,204 and I wanna come here with someone I really love. 1639 01:34:11,284 --> 01:34:12,523 And I love you. 1640 01:34:18,004 --> 01:34:20,044 Oh, and please... 1641 01:34:21,003 --> 01:34:24,244 can you make sure you keep a bit of me... 1642 01:34:24,924 --> 01:34:26,324 for Mum and Henry? 1643 01:34:29,484 --> 01:34:30,844 For Mum. 1644 01:34:34,363 --> 01:34:35,723 Mum... 1645 01:34:37,803 --> 01:34:39,084 I'm really sorry. 1646 01:34:40,484 --> 01:34:41,884 I really, really am. 1647 01:34:45,682 --> 01:34:48,643 You were here this morning with Henry and... 1648 01:34:51,243 --> 01:34:54,762 Oh, fuck. We can't do it, can we? We just can't... 1649 01:34:55,802 --> 01:34:56,962 talk. 1650 01:34:57,322 --> 01:34:58,603 I can't, anyway. 1651 01:35:01,762 --> 01:35:04,882 And I tried just now and, like, I really did... 1652 01:35:06,042 --> 01:35:11,122 but I just can't put my heart in my mouth and say all the stuff... 1653 01:35:12,602 --> 01:35:14,282 And now there's no time. 1654 01:35:17,642 --> 01:35:20,442 But, look. Despite everything, just... 1655 01:35:21,762 --> 01:35:24,242 know that I love you. 1656 01:35:25,042 --> 01:35:26,802 Please, just know that... 1657 01:35:28,562 --> 01:35:32,202 because I don't know if I'm gonna be able to say it... 1658 01:35:32,202 --> 01:35:34,722 live, as it were. 1659 01:35:37,642 --> 01:35:39,681 You two, please make sure my mum watches this. 1660 01:35:39,681 --> 01:35:43,802 She probably has, but just in case she found the last one hard or whatever, 1661 01:35:43,802 --> 01:35:45,442 just make sure she does. 1662 01:35:55,722 --> 01:35:56,921 Okay. 1663 01:35:59,322 --> 01:36:00,522 Bye, Mum. 1664 01:36:02,361 --> 01:36:03,642 Bye, Henry. 1665 01:36:05,882 --> 01:36:07,242 Bye, you two. 1666 01:36:09,282 --> 01:36:10,601 Bye, everyone. 1667 01:36:12,521 --> 01:36:13,721 I love you. 1668 01:36:30,561 --> 01:36:31,840 Oh, and... 1669 01:36:32,920 --> 01:36:35,000 watch out for false summits. 1670 01:36:35,680 --> 01:36:37,041 There's a few. 1671 01:36:37,480 --> 01:36:39,160 - Hi. Good morning. - Hey. 1672 01:36:44,760 --> 01:36:46,121 Does that look... 1673 01:36:47,040 --> 01:36:48,600 a little higher to you? 1674 01:36:49,400 --> 01:36:50,720 Shit. 1675 01:36:52,760 --> 01:36:53,920 Shit! 1676 01:36:54,560 --> 01:36:56,200 Try not to fuck it up... 1677 01:36:58,720 --> 01:37:00,520 but don't worry if you do. 114484