All language subtitles for Family Guy - 17x03 - Pal Stewie

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,257 --> 00:00:03,953 It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:03,989 --> 00:00:07,226 Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:07,262 --> 00:00:10,865 But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:10,899 --> 00:00:13,868 On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:13,902 --> 00:00:17,371 Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:17,406 --> 00:00:20,741 Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:20,776 --> 00:00:22,310 All the things that make us 8 00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:23,711 Laugh and cry 9 00:00:23,745 --> 00:00:29,283 He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! 10 00:00:29,318 --> 00:00:32,821 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - ... www.addic7ed.com ... 11 00:00:42,097 --> 00:00:43,965 At last, I shall exact my vengeance 12 00:00:43,999 --> 00:00:45,566 and snuff out the miserable flame 13 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,069 that has been your life, vile woman. 14 00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:50,738 Growing one carrot 15 00:00:50,772 --> 00:00:53,574 Taking up time 16 00:00:53,608 --> 00:00:57,912 Filling up the day with nonsense 17 00:00:57,946 --> 00:01:01,415 Vodka in the bushes 18 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,923 Making it better, making it bright 19 00:01:08,957 --> 00:01:10,691 What a day 20 00:01:10,726 --> 00:01:12,960 Think I'll check the mail. 21 00:01:12,995 --> 00:01:16,464 Time to put you out of your misery. 22 00:01:18,967 --> 00:01:20,434 What the deuce? 23 00:01:20,469 --> 00:01:21,936 Sorry I broke your toy. 24 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:24,205 Toy? This is a drone. 25 00:01:24,239 --> 00:01:26,807 Grown men who have never had sexual relations 26 00:01:26,842 --> 00:01:28,142 fly them over people's houses 27 00:01:28,176 --> 00:01:29,777 to try and see something. I don't know. 28 00:01:29,811 --> 00:01:31,713 Here, want to play with my toy? 29 00:01:31,749 --> 00:01:33,948 - What the hell is this? - It's a magic wand. 30 00:01:33,982 --> 00:01:35,683 Watch. Alakazam! 31 00:01:35,717 --> 00:01:37,284 I cast the tickle spell. 32 00:01:38,687 --> 00:01:39,954 Okay, okay, you got me. 33 00:01:39,988 --> 00:01:42,957 But seriously, cross me again, and I will end you. 34 00:01:42,991 --> 00:01:45,126 You're funny. My name's Hudson. 35 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,794 Want to play "spin in a circle"? 36 00:01:46,828 --> 00:01:48,963 I'm Stewie. Yeah, I don't think I... 37 00:01:48,997 --> 00:01:50,364 What the...? Stop it! 38 00:01:50,399 --> 00:01:52,166 I'm losing track of my surroundings. 39 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,635 Hey, this is kind of fun. 40 00:01:54,669 --> 00:01:55,970 Whee! 41 00:01:56,004 --> 00:01:57,505 Yes. Whee. 42 00:01:57,539 --> 00:01:59,173 Whee! 43 00:02:00,542 --> 00:02:02,810 Oh, my. Oh, my. 44 00:02:02,844 --> 00:02:04,412 Hudson, time to go. 45 00:02:04,446 --> 00:02:05,813 I got to go home now. 46 00:02:05,847 --> 00:02:07,415 I'm glad I met you, Stewie. 47 00:02:07,449 --> 00:02:08,916 You're neat. Bye. 48 00:02:08,950 --> 00:02:10,384 Bye, Hudson. 49 00:02:10,419 --> 00:02:11,652 I like him. 50 00:02:11,686 --> 00:02:13,988 He's more fun than an Eddie Murphy bed. 51 00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:15,523 And check this out. 52 00:02:17,692 --> 00:02:19,660 That's cool. Is it a queen? 53 00:02:19,694 --> 00:02:23,364 Not sure, but people have said it is. 54 00:02:29,037 --> 00:02:31,272 Wait a minute. 55 00:02:31,306 --> 00:02:33,674 This is a self-empowerment seminar. 56 00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:34,775 You lied to me. 57 00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:36,610 You said we were going to Baskin-Robbins. 58 00:02:36,645 --> 00:02:39,580 I said we were going to bask in Robbins' glow. 59 00:02:39,614 --> 00:02:41,182 You know what you did. 60 00:02:41,216 --> 00:02:42,516 I do. 61 00:02:42,551 --> 00:02:45,019 Ladies and gentlemen, 62 00:02:45,053 --> 00:02:47,855 give it up for Tony Robbins. 63 00:02:56,431 --> 00:02:58,466 How the (BLEEP) is everyone? 64 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,569 Ooh, he swore. I trust this guy. 65 00:03:01,605 --> 00:03:04,203 All of you here are capable of greatness. 66 00:03:04,239 --> 00:03:05,706 Yay! 67 00:03:05,740 --> 00:03:07,575 But some will never achieve it. 68 00:03:07,609 --> 00:03:08,976 Oh, no! 69 00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:10,211 You, sir. 70 00:03:10,245 --> 00:03:12,079 Come out here. 71 00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:19,386 Sheesh, your head is the size of a picnic watermelon. 72 00:03:19,421 --> 00:03:21,055 Ha! I've been told that. 73 00:03:21,089 --> 00:03:23,090 And you sound like you were lost at sea 74 00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:26,060 and told not to drink seawater but drank seawater. 75 00:03:26,094 --> 00:03:28,095 Peter, will you just listen to him? 76 00:03:28,130 --> 00:03:29,897 Tony, this is why I brought him. 77 00:03:29,931 --> 00:03:32,900 He's never willing to actually confront his issues. 78 00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:35,269 Sounds like you have no self-esteem. 79 00:03:35,303 --> 00:03:37,071 I don't deserve self-esteem. 80 00:03:37,105 --> 00:03:39,240 Peter, I was once a lot like you: 81 00:03:39,274 --> 00:03:42,943 unmotivated, dangerously obese, always relying on cutaways... 82 00:03:42,978 --> 00:03:44,645 You know, that reminds me of the time... 83 00:03:44,679 --> 00:03:46,080 No, Peter. No more cutaways. 84 00:03:46,114 --> 00:03:47,748 - Stay in the present. - Okay. 85 00:03:47,782 --> 00:03:50,084 Okay. Now tell me what you feel. 86 00:03:50,118 --> 00:03:52,086 Uh, a partial erection. 87 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:53,954 I don't get touched very often. 88 00:03:53,989 --> 00:03:56,423 You know you deserve a better life, right, Peter? 89 00:03:56,458 --> 00:03:58,792 Yes. Getting hard to breathe in here. 90 00:03:58,827 --> 00:04:00,828 I want to give you that life, Peter. 91 00:04:00,862 --> 00:04:03,430 Time to seize your personal power. 92 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,800 Yeah, by getting away from you, you weirdo. 93 00:04:06,835 --> 00:04:08,936 But first, here's that cutaway I was gonna do 94 00:04:08,970 --> 00:04:10,204 before you made me skip it. 95 00:04:10,238 --> 00:04:12,106 Only now it'll make no sense. 96 00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:16,310 "Cast of Parks and Rec Peter" away! 97 00:04:20,515 --> 00:04:22,616 I can't believe you dragged me to that fraud. 98 00:04:22,651 --> 00:04:24,652 That man has nothing to offer me. 99 00:04:26,555 --> 00:04:28,122 Tony Robbins. 100 00:04:28,156 --> 00:04:29,657 Listen, I don't have long. 101 00:04:29,691 --> 00:04:32,459 If I get soaked in the rain, I'll be too heavy to move. 102 00:04:32,494 --> 00:04:35,129 Peter, I've seen thousands of people over the years 103 00:04:35,163 --> 00:04:37,298 and helped every single one of them. 104 00:04:37,332 --> 00:04:40,301 I'm not going to let you be my first failure. 105 00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:42,036 I told you, I don't want your help. 106 00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:47,808 Peter, I swear, 107 00:04:47,842 --> 00:04:49,810 I won't stop trying to help you no matter what. 108 00:04:55,183 --> 00:04:56,817 Oh, my God! Peter, stop the car! 109 00:04:56,851 --> 00:04:58,986 I think he got struck by lightning. 110 00:05:01,389 --> 00:05:03,991 Wait, w-where is he? 111 00:05:04,025 --> 00:05:05,159 He's gone. 112 00:05:05,193 --> 00:05:07,328 This is freaking me out. 113 00:05:07,362 --> 00:05:10,164 Are... are you carrying a flask now? 114 00:05:10,198 --> 00:05:12,833 This is about you getting better, not me. 115 00:05:18,707 --> 00:05:20,941 Hey, there's Hudson. 116 00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:25,012 Stewie, you're, like, 100 times more advanced than that kid. 117 00:05:25,046 --> 00:05:26,680 Why do you want to hang out with him so badly? 118 00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:28,582 He's just, like, a cool guy. 119 00:05:28,617 --> 00:05:31,185 Hi, Stewie. I'm putting sand on a cat poo. 120 00:05:31,219 --> 00:05:32,620 Cool! 121 00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:35,522 I like you, Stewie. 122 00:05:35,557 --> 00:05:37,691 Can I come over for a playdate? 123 00:05:37,726 --> 00:05:39,526 Oh, my God. 124 00:05:39,561 --> 00:05:41,295 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 125 00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:42,563 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! 126 00:05:42,597 --> 00:05:44,865 Brian, can Hudson come over for a playdate? 127 00:05:44,899 --> 00:05:46,867 Sure, I guess so. 128 00:05:46,901 --> 00:05:48,869 Never heard you ask for a playdate before. 129 00:05:48,903 --> 00:05:51,205 I know, but there's a first time for everything. 130 00:05:51,239 --> 00:05:53,540 Like when I finally built the Leaning Tower of Pisa 131 00:05:53,575 --> 00:05:55,075 out of LEGOS. 132 00:05:57,078 --> 00:05:58,479 I did it! 133 00:05:58,513 --> 00:06:00,881 Mom! Come look! Mom! 134 00:06:00,915 --> 00:06:02,616 Yeah, be right there, Stewie. 135 00:06:02,651 --> 00:06:04,084 Where's the bush vodka? 136 00:06:05,253 --> 00:06:06,620 Where is it? Where is it?! 137 00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:08,989 Ah, there it is. 138 00:06:09,024 --> 00:06:11,425 Hi, Stewbie. 139 00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:14,261 You playing with your kitty cat? 140 00:06:20,268 --> 00:06:23,404 Ah, the privacy of all glass around me. 141 00:06:23,438 --> 00:06:25,406 Finally, I can pick my nose. 142 00:07:41,383 --> 00:07:43,484 Hey, Peter, next time use a tissue. 143 00:07:43,518 --> 00:07:46,253 - Who said that? - It's me. Tony Robbins. 144 00:07:46,287 --> 00:07:47,421 Tony Robbins? 145 00:07:47,455 --> 00:07:48,989 That's impossible. You're dead. 146 00:07:49,023 --> 00:07:50,157 That may be true, 147 00:07:50,191 --> 00:07:51,825 but the lightning bolt that killed me 148 00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:54,661 seems to have magically transferred my personal power... 149 00:07:54,696 --> 00:07:56,163 Trademark... into your car. 150 00:07:56,197 --> 00:07:58,999 Peter, I told you I was going to help you, 151 00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:01,835 and I'm not leaving until I make good on my promise. 152 00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:03,404 Suit yourself. 153 00:08:03,438 --> 00:08:06,006 Hey, if you're dead, can you ask Bill Paxton 154 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,741 if he's the same as Bill Pullman? 155 00:08:07,776 --> 00:08:10,344 Sure. Hang on. 156 00:08:10,378 --> 00:08:12,346 He said no, but he winked. 157 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,022 Ah! 158 00:08:18,386 --> 00:08:20,554 Hey, Stewie, let's play cops and robbers. 159 00:08:20,588 --> 00:08:23,190 Bang! Bang! Bang! Got you. 160 00:08:23,224 --> 00:08:24,958 Gun? 161 00:08:24,993 --> 00:08:28,729 Oh, that's-that's not... that's not a gun. 162 00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:33,901 These are guns. 163 00:08:33,935 --> 00:08:35,536 You're welcome, Paul Hogan. 164 00:08:35,570 --> 00:08:38,238 Any time someone says a weapon is not what it is, 165 00:08:38,273 --> 00:08:40,207 Paul Hogan gets a royalty. 166 00:08:40,241 --> 00:08:42,276 Royalty check, Mr. Hogan. 167 00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,411 Thanks, Jumpy. 168 00:08:44,446 --> 00:08:47,080 Whoa! What are all these for? 169 00:08:47,115 --> 00:08:48,215 Oh, the yoozh: 170 00:08:48,249 --> 00:08:49,983 destroying enemies, world domination. 171 00:08:50,018 --> 00:08:51,218 Oh, and killing my mother. 172 00:08:51,252 --> 00:08:52,986 You want to hurt your mommy? 173 00:08:53,021 --> 00:08:54,221 Stewie? 174 00:08:54,255 --> 00:08:55,722 Blast! Here she comes. 175 00:08:55,757 --> 00:08:59,560 Well, look at the handsome little boys. 176 00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,728 Come downstairs. I made your favorites: 177 00:09:01,763 --> 00:09:04,765 grilled cheese cut to look like a dinosaur. 178 00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:06,934 Ugh. They never look like a dinosaur. 179 00:09:06,968 --> 00:09:09,570 - Your mom seems nice. - She's a slag. 180 00:09:09,604 --> 00:09:11,405 Well, I hope you don't use your guns 181 00:09:11,439 --> 00:09:13,240 to kill your mom or do anything bad. 182 00:09:13,274 --> 00:09:14,408 'Cause if you do, 183 00:09:14,442 --> 00:09:16,076 I won't be able to play with you, 184 00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:17,945 and that's my favorite thing now. 185 00:09:17,979 --> 00:09:19,246 It is? 186 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,114 - Uh-huh. - Mine, too. 187 00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:23,917 You know what? I'm going to let her live. 188 00:09:23,952 --> 00:09:26,119 I must say, I've been evil so long, 189 00:09:26,154 --> 00:09:27,921 I've forgotten what it's like to be kind. 190 00:09:27,956 --> 00:09:30,424 And it's all because of our friendship, Hudson. 191 00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,860 - You really mean that? - You bet I do. 192 00:09:32,894 --> 00:09:34,595 And I always tell it like it is, 193 00:09:34,629 --> 00:09:37,231 like when I used to write tombstones. 194 00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:42,689 Complained a lot is what she did. 195 00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:49,476 Stewie, what are you doing? 196 00:09:49,511 --> 00:09:50,978 Having a funeral, Bri. 197 00:09:51,012 --> 00:09:53,280 Say good-bye to Evil Stewie. 198 00:09:53,314 --> 00:09:55,315 Did we get a pool? 199 00:09:57,175 --> 00:09:58,609 Is this a pool? 200 00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:04,740 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 201 00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:07,077 Stewie, slow down, slow down. What happened? 202 00:10:07,112 --> 00:10:09,046 We went to the zoo. We saw an ape. 203 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,381 At first we didn't think we'd see him 204 00:10:10,415 --> 00:10:12,149 'cause he was, like, hiding back in his house. 205 00:10:12,183 --> 00:10:13,717 But then he came out. We saw him! 206 00:10:13,752 --> 00:10:15,719 We saw the ape! He was big. 207 00:10:15,754 --> 00:10:17,221 And then... and then... and then... 208 00:10:17,255 --> 00:10:18,756 And then... and then... and then... 209 00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:20,557 Okay, I get it. You had fun. 210 00:10:20,592 --> 00:10:23,533 Wait, you're not mad I went without you, are you? 211 00:10:23,569 --> 00:10:25,496 No, no, I-I was only going for you. 212 00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:28,565 And maybe to taunt the animals that aren't able to leave. 213 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,100 Which is all of them. 214 00:10:30,135 --> 00:10:31,735 Losers. 215 00:10:31,770 --> 00:10:33,237 All right, you have to take us to lunch, 216 00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:35,606 but first we need to take our nap. 217 00:10:39,978 --> 00:10:43,614 Here's your triple bacon burger and your onion rings. 218 00:10:44,783 --> 00:10:46,083 Ah, crap. 219 00:10:46,117 --> 00:10:47,684 There's only nine pieces of bacon. 220 00:10:47,719 --> 00:10:48,952 I paid for 12. 221 00:10:48,987 --> 00:10:50,421 But I don't wanna make a fuss. 222 00:10:50,455 --> 00:10:51,955 Peter, listen to yourself. 223 00:10:51,990 --> 00:10:55,092 No one will respect you until you respect yourself first. 224 00:10:55,126 --> 00:10:56,693 Yeah. But I'm a nobody. 225 00:10:56,728 --> 00:10:58,095 You're not a nobody. 226 00:10:58,129 --> 00:11:00,798 Your meal is just as important as anyone else. 227 00:11:00,832 --> 00:11:02,099 You're right. 228 00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:03,600 I'm not a nobody. 229 00:11:03,635 --> 00:11:04,802 Say it again. 230 00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:06,203 I'm not a nobody! 231 00:11:06,237 --> 00:11:07,704 That's the spirit, Peter. 232 00:11:07,739 --> 00:11:09,773 Now yell at that nobody in the window. 233 00:11:09,808 --> 00:11:11,942 You there! I demand more bacon. 234 00:11:11,976 --> 00:11:13,944 Oh, I'm sorry. Here's more bacon. 235 00:11:13,978 --> 00:11:15,779 That's not more bacon... 236 00:11:15,814 --> 00:11:17,614 This is more bacon! 237 00:11:17,649 --> 00:11:19,616 Big day, Mr. Hogan. 238 00:11:19,651 --> 00:11:21,652 Keeping coming, Jumpy! 239 00:11:23,655 --> 00:11:25,622 Here's your Star Wars kids' meal. 240 00:11:25,657 --> 00:11:27,324 Which action figures did we get? 241 00:11:27,358 --> 00:11:29,059 I got Kylo Ren. 242 00:11:29,093 --> 00:11:31,662 I got the role during the two months I was a hot actor, 243 00:11:31,696 --> 00:11:33,297 and now they're stuck with me. 244 00:11:33,331 --> 00:11:34,898 I got Forest Whitaker. 245 00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:37,668 Even as a toy you can't tell where he's looking. 246 00:11:37,702 --> 00:11:40,170 I wish I had the poorly-cast Kylo Ren. 247 00:11:41,706 --> 00:11:43,640 Here, Stewie. You can have mine. 248 00:11:43,675 --> 00:11:45,642 You're giving me the better one? 249 00:11:45,677 --> 00:11:47,144 Why would you do that? 250 00:11:47,178 --> 00:11:48,645 Because you're my friend. 251 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,647 Yes. 252 00:11:50,682 --> 00:11:52,850 You're my friend. 253 00:11:52,884 --> 00:11:55,652 You're my best friend. 254 00:11:55,687 --> 00:11:59,323 Let's choke on these... together. 255 00:12:05,897 --> 00:12:07,664 That was fun. 256 00:12:07,699 --> 00:12:10,033 Let's switch. 257 00:12:19,544 --> 00:12:21,345 Okay, guys. Time to play "parachute." 258 00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:22,546 Grab an end 259 00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:24,681 and... lift. 260 00:12:24,716 --> 00:12:26,550 You know who loves "parachute"? 261 00:12:26,552 --> 00:12:27,951 My best friend, Hudson. 262 00:12:27,986 --> 00:12:29,853 - You know Hudson? - I know Hudson, too. 263 00:12:29,888 --> 00:12:31,688 Are you going to his birthday party tomorrow? 264 00:12:31,723 --> 00:12:33,023 I'm autistic. 265 00:12:33,057 --> 00:12:34,725 And... lift. 266 00:12:34,759 --> 00:12:35,859 Birthday party? 267 00:12:35,894 --> 00:12:37,594 Yeah, it's at the Family Fun Zone. 268 00:12:37,629 --> 00:12:38,962 Everyone was invited. 269 00:12:38,997 --> 00:12:41,298 I take up a great deal of the teacher's time. 270 00:12:45,236 --> 00:12:47,204 - Where's the mail? - On the table. 271 00:12:47,238 --> 00:12:48,906 What's going on? You seem upset. 272 00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:50,874 Oh, you're a... you're a real student 273 00:12:50,909 --> 00:12:52,242 of the human condition, aren't you? 274 00:12:52,277 --> 00:12:54,378 Yet, somehow, it escapes your writing. 275 00:12:54,412 --> 00:12:56,380 Whoa! Why are you attacking me? 276 00:12:56,414 --> 00:12:57,748 I'm sorry, Brian. 277 00:12:57,782 --> 00:13:01,051 Everyone but me got an invite to Hudson's birthday. 278 00:13:01,085 --> 00:13:02,386 I know why this happened. 279 00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:04,888 I called him my best friend too quickly. 280 00:13:04,923 --> 00:13:06,423 Well, maybe it wasn't meant to be. 281 00:13:06,457 --> 00:13:08,425 But, hey, I'm-I'm still your friend. 282 00:13:09,928 --> 00:13:12,062 Yeah, but Hudson isn't. 283 00:13:12,096 --> 00:13:15,399 And that's just something I have to live with. 284 00:13:29,147 --> 00:13:31,315 Stewie, it's 2:00 a.m. 285 00:13:31,349 --> 00:13:33,116 Revenge doesn't sleep. 286 00:13:33,151 --> 00:13:34,918 Come on. Come back to bed. 287 00:13:34,953 --> 00:13:36,086 No. 288 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,255 There's something I gotta do. 289 00:13:38,289 --> 00:13:39,790 Go get 'em, tiger. 290 00:13:39,824 --> 00:13:41,525 Hey. 291 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,527 Shut your (BLEEP) mouth. 292 00:13:52,904 --> 00:13:55,105 Victory shall be mine. 293 00:13:58,643 --> 00:14:00,477 Ha. That's what the baby used to say 294 00:14:00,511 --> 00:14:02,012 when I was your age. 295 00:14:02,046 --> 00:14:04,982 Shut up, Dad. I'm watching Rick and Morty. 296 00:14:07,986 --> 00:14:12,289 So... does Mommy have friends over sometimes at night? 297 00:14:12,323 --> 00:14:14,391 Sometimes. 298 00:14:14,425 --> 00:14:17,794 It must be weird having only women come over to see Mommy. 299 00:14:17,829 --> 00:14:19,496 No, it's mostly men. 300 00:14:19,530 --> 00:14:21,231 Oh, it is. 301 00:14:21,265 --> 00:14:23,500 And you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge? 302 00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:29,952 Good morning, family. 303 00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:32,387 My, who's this go-getter? 304 00:14:32,422 --> 00:14:34,856 Tony Robbins has helped me become a better person. 305 00:14:34,891 --> 00:14:39,361 In fact, today, I'm gonna ask for... nay, demand a raise. 306 00:14:39,395 --> 00:14:41,196 "Nay"? Wow. 307 00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,298 This new you is a bigger surprise 308 00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:44,866 than when they're making fun of a celebrity 309 00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:46,401 on Saturday Night Live 310 00:14:46,436 --> 00:14:49,538 and the real-life celebrity walks in behind them. 311 00:14:49,572 --> 00:14:52,741 Boy, they're really socking it to this celebrity. 312 00:14:52,775 --> 00:14:55,877 Yeah, can you imagine how mad the celebrity would be? 313 00:14:55,912 --> 00:14:58,046 I mean, wherever they are at this particular moment, 314 00:14:58,081 --> 00:14:59,715 if they're watching, they must be... 315 00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:02,050 Oh. 316 00:15:02,085 --> 00:15:03,619 That's the actual celebrity 317 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,153 walking up right behind 'em. 318 00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:07,155 He-he's catching 'em right in the act. 319 00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,057 The-The SNL actor doesn't know. 320 00:15:09,092 --> 00:15:10,559 Aw, he's gonna get in trouble. 321 00:15:10,593 --> 00:15:12,894 Look how mad the actual celebrity is. 322 00:15:12,929 --> 00:15:14,596 He's folding his arms and frowning. 323 00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:17,099 He tapped the SNL actor on the shoulder. 324 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:19,735 Look how surprised the SNL actor is! 325 00:15:19,769 --> 00:15:21,737 Oh! He's completely busted! 326 00:15:21,771 --> 00:15:24,806 How is this happening?! 327 00:15:26,943 --> 00:15:28,276 Oh, my God! 328 00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:30,912 I can't believe it! 329 00:15:30,947 --> 00:15:33,415 I was watching upstairs on Hulu! 330 00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:35,684 I saw it on my phone! 331 00:15:35,718 --> 00:15:37,786 My plane has Wi-Fi! 332 00:15:42,659 --> 00:15:45,293 Stewie? Stewie? 333 00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:49,598 "Quahog Family Fun Zone"? 334 00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:53,468 Uh-oh. 335 00:15:54,971 --> 00:15:57,105 Stewie's dug up all his weapons. 336 00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:59,274 Oh, my God, I've got to stop him. 337 00:15:59,308 --> 00:16:01,476 Go get 'em, tiger. 338 00:16:01,511 --> 00:16:02,644 Hey. 339 00:16:02,679 --> 00:16:04,913 Shut your (BLEEP) mouth. 340 00:16:08,651 --> 00:16:10,285 Tony! You're not gonna believe it. 341 00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:12,454 I demanded a raise just like you told me to 342 00:16:12,488 --> 00:16:13,955 and they gave it to me. 343 00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:15,088 Tony? 344 00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:16,792 Tony? You in there? 345 00:16:16,826 --> 00:16:18,160 Guess who, Peter. 346 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,394 Geena Davis? 347 00:16:19,429 --> 00:16:21,296 No, it's me, Peter. Turn around. 348 00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:23,832 Tony? You're alive? 349 00:16:23,866 --> 00:16:25,300 But... how? 350 00:16:25,334 --> 00:16:27,135 I saw you get struck by lightning. 351 00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:29,037 I was created by lightning, Peter, 352 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,739 in a lab, like Frankenstein. 353 00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:32,307 And what do you think about fire? 354 00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:35,744 Anyway, after the lightning strike, 355 00:16:35,778 --> 00:16:37,245 I climbed into your trunk 356 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,047 and that's where I've been living the past week. 357 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:42,517 So, whenever I heard your voice, that was just you in the trunk? 358 00:16:42,552 --> 00:16:43,819 That's right. 359 00:16:43,853 --> 00:16:45,320 Why would you go to all that trouble? 360 00:16:45,354 --> 00:16:46,922 Peter, I told you, 361 00:16:46,956 --> 00:16:50,025 I wasn't going to let you be my first failure. 362 00:16:50,059 --> 00:16:54,329 Wow, Tony, I don't know how I can possibly thank you. 363 00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:55,997 You don't need to thank me, Peter. 364 00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:58,166 I have hundreds of millions of dollars. 365 00:16:58,201 --> 00:16:59,668 I keep it in my forehead. 366 00:16:59,702 --> 00:17:01,169 Well, I better be going. 367 00:17:01,204 --> 00:17:03,338 You have a Smart car? 368 00:17:03,372 --> 00:17:04,973 I have two. 369 00:17:09,078 --> 00:17:12,547 I'm coming, broken people! 370 00:17:18,554 --> 00:17:19,855 Hey, everybody, 371 00:17:19,889 --> 00:17:21,523 we want to give a special shout-out 372 00:17:21,557 --> 00:17:23,692 to little Hudson on his birthday. 373 00:17:36,906 --> 00:17:38,540 Oh, no. Soda! 374 00:17:38,574 --> 00:17:39,875 Sticky balls! 375 00:18:06,936 --> 00:18:08,770 Damn you all. 376 00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:30,926 Stewie? 377 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,928 That's my name, don't wear it out. 378 00:18:32,962 --> 00:18:34,930 Yeah, let that wash over you. 379 00:18:34,964 --> 00:18:36,965 Learned that from a third grader. 380 00:18:36,999 --> 00:18:38,099 Any last words? 381 00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:39,134 Yeah. 382 00:18:39,168 --> 00:18:40,602 I'm glad to see you. 383 00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:43,271 You never RSVP to the invite my mom sent. 384 00:18:43,306 --> 00:18:46,107 You... You invited me? 385 00:18:46,142 --> 00:18:48,109 Yes. He did. 386 00:18:48,144 --> 00:18:50,312 Brian? What are you doing here? 387 00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:51,780 And how do you know I was invited? 388 00:18:51,814 --> 00:18:53,281 Because... 389 00:18:53,316 --> 00:18:55,116 I threw your invitation away. 390 00:18:55,151 --> 00:18:56,451 You what? 391 00:18:56,485 --> 00:18:57,786 I know. I'm sorry. 392 00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,622 I-I just... I saw how you were connecting with Hudson 393 00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:03,325 and I-I was afraid of losing our friendship. 394 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,826 Friendship? 395 00:19:04,861 --> 00:19:07,128 Brian, you and I have never been friends. 396 00:19:07,163 --> 00:19:08,964 We... We haven't? 397 00:19:08,998 --> 00:19:10,632 No. Friends are people 398 00:19:10,666 --> 00:19:12,234 who come in and out of our lives. 399 00:19:12,268 --> 00:19:14,302 But you and I are family. 400 00:19:14,337 --> 00:19:15,670 That's forever. 401 00:19:22,511 --> 00:19:24,479 Sorry I caused all this trouble. 402 00:19:24,513 --> 00:19:26,047 I hope you can forgive me. 403 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,084 Ah, that's okay, nothing could ever come between us. 404 00:19:29,118 --> 00:19:31,853 I'm even going to make a speech at your wedding. 405 00:19:31,888 --> 00:19:33,989 So Brian and I are down in Mexico, 406 00:19:34,023 --> 00:19:36,324 and, as usual, he doesn't have any cash on him. 407 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,726 That's probably why your parents 408 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,527 are paying for all this, right, Evan? 409 00:19:39,562 --> 00:19:41,162 Wait, hold on. Evan? 410 00:19:41,197 --> 00:19:42,430 Why am I gay in this? 411 00:19:42,465 --> 00:19:43,765 Ah, it's the end of the show. 412 00:19:43,799 --> 00:19:45,267 We sometimes do something silly here. 413 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,973 So, now that you got me back as a friend, 414 00:19:52,008 --> 00:19:54,809 what are all the great things you have planned for us? 415 00:19:54,844 --> 00:19:57,712 Uh... we could... go see a movie. 416 00:19:57,747 --> 00:20:00,482 Oh, a movie. That's a great idea. 417 00:20:00,516 --> 00:20:01,983 You know what'll get me out of this funk? 418 00:20:02,018 --> 00:20:03,652 The Equalizer 2. 419 00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:05,553 Okay. All right, fine. 420 00:20:05,588 --> 00:20:06,721 I got... I got nothing. 421 00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:07,989 Exactly. 422 00:20:08,024 --> 00:20:09,324 And you were such a jealous little bitch 423 00:20:09,358 --> 00:20:12,027 that you had to ruin the one friendship I really cared about. 424 00:20:12,061 --> 00:20:14,195 You're just a big jerk and I hate you, 425 00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:16,331 and there's nothing you can do to make up for it. 426 00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:17,599 Fine. 427 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,501 Maybe I'll just go out and get some ice cream. 428 00:20:19,535 --> 00:20:20,902 Ice cream? 429 00:20:20,937 --> 00:20:22,170 I like ice cream. 430 00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:25,106 Yeah, I don't know. I think it's more of a bigger kid thing. 431 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,509 No, no, no! No. I've had ice cream, like, six times. 432 00:20:27,543 --> 00:20:29,144 All right, come on, let's go. 433 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,014 You know, Brian, I'm starting to think 434 00:20:33,049 --> 00:20:36,017 we're going to get through our... Rocky Road. 435 00:20:41,223 --> 00:20:42,857 We had a lot of laughs tonight, 436 00:20:42,892 --> 00:20:44,693 but let's remember the important thing: 437 00:20:44,727 --> 00:20:46,861 you can't put a price on your happiness, 438 00:20:46,896 --> 00:20:49,364 which is why I have: it's $6,000. 439 00:20:49,398 --> 00:20:52,300 See you in Fort Myers, probably. 440 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:55,851 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - ... www.addic7ed.com ... 30756

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