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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,550 - How you doing? - You're a doctor. 2 00:00:01,551 --> 00:00:03,130 I'm not doing your bloody job for you. 3 00:00:03,230 --> 00:00:05,610 Always with your nose in a book. You probably haven't got there yet. 4 00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:07,490 Your nose is the pointy bit on the front of your face. 5 00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:10,050 I wouldn't recognise your mum if I bumped into her in John Lewis. 6 00:00:10,050 --> 00:00:13,690 - What does your girlfriend do? - Graphic design. 7 00:00:13,690 --> 00:00:15,923 - Will you marry me? - No. 8 00:00:15,924 --> 00:00:17,508 - What's going on? - You misdiagnosed his mother 9 00:00:17,509 --> 00:00:19,930 so he was delivered about 15 weeks too early. 10 00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:23,090 You're lucky to have Adam to learn from. Don't do what he does. 11 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,930 Yeah, bit of bad news, I'm afraid. 12 00:00:24,930 --> 00:00:26,450 The mum's lodged a complaint. 13 00:00:26,450 --> 00:00:28,210 I really did try my best for you. 14 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,850 Hey, someone! Look, find a doctor. 15 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:40,090 - She's fainted. - I think she's having a fit. 16 00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:41,570 Is anyone here a doctor? 17 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,890 We need a doctor! Anyone? 18 00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:48,810 - Are you... ? - A GP. 19 00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:50,250 Dentist. 20 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,650 Trainee dentist. 21 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,090 Please be seated, ladies and gentlemen... 22 00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:09,890 - Ah, right. - ... as the second half 23 00:01:09,890 --> 00:01:11,530 - is about to commence. - Shit. 24 00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:18,370 Excuse me. 25 00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:23,210 Excuse me. Sorry. 26 00:01:25,010 --> 00:01:27,610 The locum didn't turn up. I'm really sorry. 27 00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:29,770 I'll make it up to you if it's the last thing I do. 28 00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:31,890 I think this might be the last thing you do. 29 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:35,650 Hi. Hi. 30 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:43,330 How was the first half, then? 31 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:47,090 Oh, my God, the, the music and the costumes... 32 00:01:47,090 --> 00:01:49,130 And how do they remember all the words? 33 00:01:49,130 --> 00:01:50,970 - It's really... - It was awful. 34 00:01:50,970 --> 00:01:53,370 I think you could hear Stephen Sondheim spinning in his grave. 35 00:01:53,370 --> 00:01:55,570 - I think he's still alive, isn't he? - Poor man. 36 00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,610 Could I grab anyone a drink from the bar before the... ? 37 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:02,050 Plus, we were saddled with an understudy, 38 00:02:02,050 --> 00:02:03,850 with barely ten minutes' notice. 39 00:02:03,850 --> 00:02:05,730 That is really annoying. Which part? 40 00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:13,890 Would your friend like a chocolate? 41 00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:15,490 Boyfriend, actually. 42 00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:44,050 Stop fidgeting! 43 00:02:52,450 --> 00:02:54,090 I don't know if Adam mentioned, 44 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,250 but we'd love to take you for dinner. 45 00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:58,850 Oh, we should probably get off, actually. 46 00:02:58,850 --> 00:03:00,930 You sure we can't tempt you for a quick bite? 47 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,585 We've got a table booked at this little French place 48 00:03:02,586 --> 00:03:05,570 on Poland Street. My friend's a waiter there. 49 00:03:05,570 --> 00:03:07,210 Well... 50 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:08,970 I'll call you in a couple of weeks. 51 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:19,410 Fucking hell. 52 00:03:19,410 --> 00:03:21,650 The handshakes. 53 00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:24,010 To be fair, she always used to give me a nice hug 54 00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:25,930 when she dropped me off at school. 55 00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:29,690 And a note saying, "Have a successful term." 56 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:31,770 I'm normally great with mums. 57 00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:33,290 It's a shame you were late. 58 00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,090 Well, I can't do half a Caesarean, can I? 59 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,650 I know. It's just... it wasn't quite, 60 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,290 "We'll tell her over a nice dinner," was it? 61 00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:41,610 Oh, she's known ever since she caught me wanking off to He-Man. 62 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,610 Look on the bright side. You're never gonna 63 00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:46,010 have to sit next to her at the top table now, are you? 64 00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:48,010 I never said never. 65 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:49,210 Didn't say yes, though, either, did you? 66 00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:53,010 No, I said that... You know what I said. And you agreed. 67 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:59,090 - Do you wanna grab a drink? - How about ten? 68 00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:00,770 Why don't you have another go? 69 00:04:00,770 --> 00:04:03,890 - Because... - Give her a call and take her out for dinner. 70 00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:07,250 ... you would have to prise my cold dead hands from the phone. 71 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,810 For me? 72 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,610 She's not gonna be able to do this week anyway. 73 00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:14,330 It's a full moon. 74 00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:27,610 That's it. 75 00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:28,810 Nice big breaths. 76 00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:33,970 Did you know that if you spread out the surface area 77 00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:37,370 of your lungs and put them on a football pitch... 78 00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:42,050 ... that's an instant red card and a direct free kick? 79 00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:56,050 Don't listen to anything your mum says, by the way. 80 00:04:57,810 --> 00:04:59,930 She's just a bit upset with me. 81 00:05:02,810 --> 00:05:04,610 So's my mum, actually. 82 00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:08,650 Maybe it's a mum thing. 83 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:12,770 Oh, and Harry is, too. 84 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:17,850 Maybe it's a... a people thing. 85 00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:39,100 - Hi! - Oh! 86 00:05:39,101 --> 00:05:41,210 Oh, God, sorry. 87 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,250 Fuck's sake. 88 00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:45,010 Is that your statement? 89 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,570 Not even started mine yet. 90 00:05:46,570 --> 00:05:50,450 Well, I've only managed seven words and a coffee stain. 91 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:51,890 Get me a latte. 92 00:05:51,890 --> 00:05:53,130 Bring it up to labour ward. 93 00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:56,530 Please. 94 00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:03,890 Tell me you don't have to work with that twat. 95 00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:05,450 Er, who, Adam? 96 00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:08,010 Oh, er, no, he's all right, really. 97 00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:09,250 Shit, sorry. 98 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:12,010 I didn't mean to be rude about your friend. 99 00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:13,850 I was trying to... 100 00:06:14,350 --> 00:06:15,650 I'm Ben. 101 00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:18,050 That's my name. Obviously. 102 00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:20,850 - Er, Shruti. - I know. I mean... 103 00:06:20,850 --> 00:06:22,370 Do you like eating pizza? 104 00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,450 That sounds like I'm saying you're fat. 105 00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:26,650 I don't think you're fat. 106 00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:28,370 I think you're not fat. I... 107 00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:31,210 I think I'm gonna just start again. I'm Ben. 108 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:34,650 Would you like to go for something to eat, 109 00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:36,410 for example, a pizza? 110 00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:39,450 Er, yeah, that sounds nice. 111 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:41,050 Great. 112 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:43,490 Er, when? Like, tonight? 113 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,370 - Oh, er... - Tomorrow? 114 00:06:46,410 --> 00:06:47,450 Saturday? 115 00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:50,050 March? 116 00:06:50,050 --> 00:06:54,090 Er, tomorrow. Tomorrow... Tomorrow could work. 117 00:06:55,930 --> 00:06:58,610 But it's just us three, right? Like, you, me and Adam? 118 00:07:04,330 --> 00:07:07,850 I'll meet you round the front, like seven... ish? 119 00:07:07,850 --> 00:07:09,410 Yep. 120 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:17,450 Er, Beatrice, you're in Room Two. Second baby. 121 00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:19,250 Apparently she's Jason Orange's cousin. 122 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:20,530 Ooh! 123 00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,490 Do with that knowledge as you will. 124 00:07:22,490 --> 00:07:24,050 Room Three is to remain empty 125 00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:26,530 for the next 24 hours, I'm afraid. 126 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,410 - The only good room? - Yeah, so no water births. 127 00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:30,610 The Secretary of State for God knows what 128 00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:33,290 is coming around tomorrow, so I'm assuming that 129 00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:34,410 we all wanna keep our jobs. 130 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:37,090 They must think the entire NHS smells like fresh paint. 131 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,250 Still, new computer. 132 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,090 It's been years since I've been able to type words with G in it. 133 00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:44,890 I wouldn't get too attached, love. 134 00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:47,690 Once the right honourable bastard has done his little tour, 135 00:07:47,690 --> 00:07:50,650 that'll all be gone faster than they can say "A&E closure". 136 00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:55,210 Right, who fancies twins? 137 00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:09,010 I know I can count on you 138 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,970 - to keep everything perfect. - Yes, Nigel. 139 00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:13,330 And you're going to keep Room Three free? 140 00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:15,690 Look, if the patients don't need it, Nigel. 141 00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:17,770 Ah, Kay, bit of good news for you. 142 00:08:17,770 --> 00:08:19,130 They've dropped the complaint? 143 00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:21,810 Ministerial visit tomorrow, and you get to shake his hand. 144 00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:24,490 That explains why we've got the hospital's only mop today. 145 00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:26,130 Yeah, shouldn't be too taxing. 146 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,290 Wander round the ward smiling like a gay proctologist, 147 00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:32,050 then tell a quick, charming anecdote, 148 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:34,130 and it's off to the meeting room 149 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,370 for a plate of Sainsbury's cheapest sandwiches. You on? 150 00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:38,010 - It would be my honour. - Good man. 151 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:40,210 Right. 24 hours 152 00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:41,770 to make this place look like a labour ward. 153 00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,770 Ah, traditionally at this point, 154 00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:48,450 a couple of you would be running to the emergency. 155 00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:50,410 - Oh, we usually wait a bit. - It's faulty. 156 00:08:50,410 --> 00:08:52,290 It randomly goes off for a couple of seconds. 157 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,250 If it keeps going, we'll run. But normally it just... 158 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,210 ... stops. 159 00:08:56,210 --> 00:08:57,690 How often does this happen? 160 00:08:57,690 --> 00:09:00,250 - Er, couple of times an hour. - Well, add that to the list. 161 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,730 Of course. And what would you like me 162 00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:03,130 to take off the list to make time? 163 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:05,610 Right. 164 00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,170 I'm on it. 165 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,450 - What's wrong with her, then? - I couldn't tell you. 166 00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:17,850 - Is there someone who could? - She's obviously in pain, 167 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,530 but she won't let us look. 168 00:09:19,530 --> 00:09:22,890 She's being... obstructive. 169 00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,975 - Meaning? - Meaning she told me to fuck off 170 00:09:24,976 --> 00:09:26,610 in four different languages. 171 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,170 Sounds like she's OK to me. 172 00:09:31,490 --> 00:09:32,890 Oh... 173 00:09:35,210 --> 00:09:38,650 It is not sehr gut news, I'm afraid. 174 00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:43,530 - Oh, dear. - I am afraid ze whole leg will have to be cut off. 175 00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:45,130 Oh! I've just ordered new slippers. 176 00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:47,770 - Oh, no. - Will it grow back? 177 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:50,410 No. I don't think it will. 178 00:09:50,410 --> 00:09:54,170 Er, Petr, would you mind escorting Professor Einstein 179 00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:56,490 back to her laboratory? 180 00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:02,330 Any chance you know which ward you're on? 181 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,730 Sorry if that lady was bothering you. 182 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,770 Are you kidding? 183 00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:09,770 She's the best doctor I've seen since I've been in here. 184 00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:12,690 Is there, er, anything the matter? 185 00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:15,210 Oh, no, just here for delicious food. 186 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:18,410 How soundproof do you think that thing is? 187 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:21,490 So how can I help you today, Mrs Winnicka? 188 00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:25,970 I think something coming out. 189 00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:27,330 Of there. 190 00:10:27,330 --> 00:10:29,290 I hope not, labour ward's full. 191 00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:32,050 Er, do you mind if I have a quick look? 192 00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:35,010 Bend your legs, feet together, drop your knees to the side. 193 00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:39,650 Well, get on with it. 194 00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:49,090 OK. 195 00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:50,290 Nothing to panic about, 196 00:10:50,290 --> 00:10:52,170 you've got a bit of a prolapse there. 197 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:54,610 That's your uterus you can feel coming out. 198 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:55,770 - Oh! - Very common. 199 00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:59,250 There's something we can put inside to sort of... 200 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:00,730 ... hold it all up there. 201 00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:03,450 Haven't had anything up there since decimalisation. 202 00:11:03,450 --> 00:11:06,490 I'll get you booked into urogynae clinic in the next few days. 203 00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:09,410 Tell you what. 204 00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:13,050 I'll get everything I need from clinic 205 00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:14,570 and pop back up with it later. 206 00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:19,770 Go on, then, what you waiting for? 207 00:11:23,890 --> 00:11:26,530 Well, everything looks absolutely fine. 208 00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:29,410 If the tummy pain's settled, then I think we can... 209 00:11:29,410 --> 00:11:30,570 Mummy's having a conversation. 210 00:11:30,570 --> 00:11:32,330 Why don't we look at your book for a bit? 211 00:11:32,330 --> 00:11:34,770 Oh, well, like I was saying, if the tummy pain has settled, 212 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,530 then I think we can probably get you back home. 213 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,570 If you're sure. If anything changes, just come back in and see us. 214 00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:42,690 I mean, we are never closed. Unfortunately. 215 00:11:42,690 --> 00:11:44,890 Stop. 216 00:11:44,891 --> 00:11:45,970 - _ - Stop. 217 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:51,770 - Stop it. - Would you guys just, like, hang on one minute, please? 218 00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:54,570 My lady in One is absolutely desperate 219 00:11:54,570 --> 00:11:55,810 for a water birth. 220 00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:58,010 Any chance we can get her into Room Three? 221 00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:00,210 I'm really sorry, but it's above my pay grade. 222 00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:02,970 Lockhart needs it empty so we can show it off to the Minister. 223 00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:04,570 OK, well, I've asked. 224 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,850 Don't you think that they should see what this place 225 00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:09,410 is really like, rather than some Sellotaped-together version? 226 00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:12,130 Good plan. And when they sack me, you gonna pay my mortgage 227 00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:14,050 directly into the bank or just give me the cash? 228 00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:16,610 You'd think they'd have picked a quieter time to come. 229 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,290 - Sorry to bother you. But... - And yet here you are. 230 00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:27,050 So someone came in with nothing the matter 231 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,410 and you sent them home? 232 00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:30,490 - No, but... - I'm sorry, I'm quite busy right now. 233 00:12:30,490 --> 00:12:32,530 I probably can't arrange a full parade in your honour. 234 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:34,850 No, look. The stickers on her file. 235 00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:37,290 - Oh, shit. - That's a domestic abuse alert, right? 236 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,010 In the ladies' toilets there are red stickers 237 00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:40,170 that you put on your notes 238 00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:42,130 if you wanna talk privately about domestic abuse. 239 00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:43,410 Good spot. 240 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:44,890 Parade's back on. 241 00:12:46,450 --> 00:12:48,450 Hi! I'm Adam, one of the doctors. 242 00:12:48,450 --> 00:12:49,810 Everything OK? 243 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,130 Nothing to worry about. 244 00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:55,502 Just wondering if I could have a couple of words with you in private? 245 00:12:55,503 --> 00:12:58,250 Ah, we want to stay with Mummy, don't we, Ernie? 246 00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:01,130 Well, I do have to examine your wife in quite a personal way. 247 00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,650 I thought you said it was a couple of words. 248 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:05,730 Yeah, the words are "vaginal" and "examination", 249 00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:07,410 - and I thought with your son here... - OK. 250 00:13:07,410 --> 00:13:09,333 - ... it might be better... - You'll be all right, darling? 251 00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:11,890 - Yeah. - There's a coffee shop downstairs. 252 00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:14,250 Well, I think the Caffe Nero opposite's probably safer. 253 00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:17,570 Go! Zoom! Zoom! 254 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:23,090 Is everything OK at home, Anna? 255 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:24,650 How do you mean? 256 00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:25,730 Anna, you can tell us. 257 00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:28,330 I mean, you've done the hard bit already. 258 00:13:28,330 --> 00:13:30,010 Er, the stickers? 259 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,930 Stickers! 260 00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:32,970 Oh, God. 261 00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:36,010 He's always doing this sort of thing. 262 00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,530 Sticky stickers! 263 00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:39,170 - He loves stickers. - Ernie? 264 00:13:39,170 --> 00:13:41,570 - Ernie! - Sticky stickers. 265 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,370 So sorry. 266 00:13:43,370 --> 00:13:45,850 Come on, then, Miss Marple. 267 00:13:45,850 --> 00:13:48,330 Oh! Rascal. 268 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,850 False alarm, everyone. 269 00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:54,970 There was something weird about him. 270 00:13:54,970 --> 00:13:56,410 Yeah. 271 00:13:56,410 --> 00:13:57,810 He was a posh twat. 272 00:13:57,810 --> 00:14:00,010 But you don't get arrested for that. 273 00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:02,050 Just as well. 274 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,330 Me? You can talk. 275 00:14:04,330 --> 00:14:07,450 My mum's a dinner lady and my dad's an electrician. 276 00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,810 Well, where did I get the idea that your parents were doctors? 277 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:12,090 Ooh, er, from racist stereotypes? 278 00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:13,530 Um, no! 279 00:14:13,530 --> 00:14:15,410 No, no, no. Um... 280 00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:18,050 - You... - I'm kidding. 281 00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:19,610 You do know that, like, 282 00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:21,890 not everyone gets this handed to them on a plate, right? 283 00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,890 Like, it didn't even occur to my parents 284 00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:25,530 that I could end up being a doctor. 285 00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:27,290 All right, Little Orphan Annie. 286 00:14:27,290 --> 00:14:29,130 How did you end up here, then? 287 00:14:32,050 --> 00:14:34,850 Er, my... well, my dad was a doctor, and... 288 00:14:34,850 --> 00:14:36,490 And he had this big plate? 289 00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,170 No, I won't calm down, Anna. 290 00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:46,170 What the hell did you think this was gonna achieve? 291 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,530 Sorry, sorry... 292 00:14:49,530 --> 00:14:52,290 I, er... Er, glad I... Glad I caught you. 293 00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:56,330 Er, I was just discussing your case a bit more 294 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:59,210 with my colleague and we thought that it'd be best 295 00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,970 to keep you in overnight. For a test. 296 00:15:00,970 --> 00:15:02,770 Er, what sort of test? 297 00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:05,250 - A... a scan test. - So a scan? 298 00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,330 - Yes, yes, exactly. - What's wrong? 299 00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:08,530 Is something wrong with the baby? 300 00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:10,290 Oh, no, I... I'm sure everything's fine, 301 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:12,010 I just wanna check the baby's growing properly. 302 00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:13,330 And you can't do it today? 303 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,570 Er, well, there actually aren't any slots till morning, 304 00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:17,890 er, so if we just... Just to be on the safe side, probably best 305 00:15:17,890 --> 00:15:19,530 - to stay in overnight. - That's fine. 306 00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:21,210 I'll keep her company till visiting hours end. 307 00:15:21,210 --> 00:15:22,730 - Is your phone charged? - Yep. 308 00:15:25,490 --> 00:15:28,450 It's going off every three minutes. 309 00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:32,930 No, I don't have the error code for the secondary console. 310 00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,450 I don't even know what a secondary console is. 311 00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:43,210 Listen, I need someone to come here with a tool box, 312 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:46,450 a jumpsuit, and the phrase "I have fixed the alarm." 313 00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:49,530 What? 314 00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,810 Three weeks?! 315 00:15:51,810 --> 00:15:54,770 Which of Neptune's moons are you based on, exactly? 316 00:15:54,770 --> 00:15:56,370 Listen, forget it. 317 00:15:56,370 --> 00:15:58,490 Pleasure doing business with you. 318 00:16:06,450 --> 00:16:08,010 Er, can I help you? 319 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,250 Er, I'm starting an Ultimate Frisbee team. 320 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,570 Do you want in? 321 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:23,010 Hi. 322 00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:24,170 Sorry, hi. 323 00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:25,410 Are you working on labour ward? 324 00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:27,530 Yeah. Can you see if you can do anything 325 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,690 to stop the alarm going off every three seconds? 326 00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:31,050 I'll have a go. 327 00:16:31,050 --> 00:16:32,610 Can you have a success? 328 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,490 OK. 329 00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:48,730 Just... just try to relax. 330 00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,770 Oh, it's easy for you to say. 331 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:54,810 Went to the theatre last night. 332 00:16:54,810 --> 00:16:56,610 - Oh, how thrilling for you. - In a way. 333 00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:58,530 Had a massive argument with my mother. 334 00:16:58,530 --> 00:17:01,290 Yes, and have you apologised yet? 335 00:17:01,290 --> 00:17:04,050 - Didn't do anything wrong. - She's your mother. 336 00:17:04,050 --> 00:17:05,650 She could be dead tomorrow. 337 00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,510 I'll apologise in my eulogy, then. 338 00:17:09,510 --> 00:17:11,630 Yep, there it is, all done. 339 00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,070 How's that feel? 340 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,590 Better? 341 00:17:18,590 --> 00:17:19,910 Better. 342 00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:22,550 That's good. 343 00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:28,190 Right, I will get you booked into clinic 344 00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:30,270 to have it replaced in six months. 345 00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:32,110 Will you be doing it? 346 00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:33,510 Ah, it sort of depends on... 347 00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:37,550 - Yeah. Sure. - That's a shame. 348 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,270 Just because it's only got one Michelin star 349 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,990 doesn't mean it's not a good restaurant, Mum. 350 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:56,430 Well, how on Earth am I meant to know how hygienic the kitchen is? 351 00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:58,310 Ria, who's the safeguarding midwife? 352 00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,550 Oh, it used to be Paulette, but she left. 353 00:18:00,550 --> 00:18:02,750 Thank God. If it's urgent, you can speak to Tracy. 354 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,350 OK, yep, see you at eight. 355 00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,630 Bye. 356 00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:07,470 Don't forget to charge your broomstick. 357 00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:08,750 Adam, where's Tracy? 358 00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:11,630 Dunno. Busy getting her MBE? 359 00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:19,710 Jesus Christ. What's happened here? 360 00:18:19,710 --> 00:18:22,670 I'll tell you in a minute. Can you just check her CTG? 361 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:25,750 First baby, 41 but otherwise low risk. 362 00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,150 What happened in there? 363 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:28,870 Oh, my God. 364 00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:30,390 Jesus. 365 00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,550 Hi, I'm Adam. 366 00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:33,110 - One of the doctors. - I was supposed to be 367 00:18:33,110 --> 00:18:34,190 having a water birth. 368 00:18:34,190 --> 00:18:36,550 You never know, one of the pipes might come down. 369 00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:39,910 Baby's heart rate's improving nicely. So sorry. We'll, er, 370 00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,030 we'll, er, we'll get you somewhere, another room. 371 00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:45,070 - No, we don't have another room, so... - What? 372 00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:47,470 ... we'll just clear this one up. OK? 373 00:18:49,110 --> 00:18:50,190 She's the boss. 374 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,790 What happened in there? 375 00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:58,430 I'll tell you what didn't happen: the bloody alarm. 376 00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,230 I pulled it twice, and nothing, 377 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:02,350 so I put a bit more welly into it... 378 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,510 - What did you do? - Nothing. 379 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,230 Don't bullshit me. 380 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,270 Well, the... 381 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:11,110 ... the alarm company couldn't send anyone for three weeks 382 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:13,630 so I asked a workman to... 383 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:14,870 ... have a go. 384 00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:16,950 And how would you say they did, out of ten? 385 00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:24,110 Fuck this. 386 00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:28,790 Good news. We've found you another room. 387 00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,350 There's even a pool in there for water birth. 388 00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:33,550 - And can I still eat my placenta? - Sure, why not? 389 00:19:37,990 --> 00:19:39,510 Dr Adam! 390 00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:48,550 How's my little friend? 391 00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:50,910 Oh, you know, just keeping busy. 392 00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:53,670 Cleaned the oven this morning, then I came down here. 393 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,990 Er, can I ask what you're doing here? 394 00:19:55,990 --> 00:19:58,150 Sorry, we, er, we did meet before but it was... 395 00:19:58,150 --> 00:20:00,390 Yeah, it was only briefly. Er, I'm the doctor 396 00:20:00,390 --> 00:20:02,910 - who delivered your nephew. - I know exactly who you are. 397 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,230 That's why I'm asking 398 00:20:04,230 --> 00:20:08,510 if it's appropriate for you to be here right now. 399 00:20:08,510 --> 00:20:10,190 Um... sorry, yeah, of course. 400 00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:12,430 - I was just going. - Yeah. 401 00:20:12,430 --> 00:20:13,910 Bye, Dr Adam! 402 00:20:36,070 --> 00:20:38,070 Go on, then, what's the damage? 403 00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,230 Er, 10? 11? 404 00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:42,230 You remember you said you'd go through my presentation 405 00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:44,310 - when you got home? - Do you remember how 406 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,470 you wanted me to meet my mum for dinner? 407 00:20:46,470 --> 00:20:49,550 Amazing! Well, good luck. 408 00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:52,550 - Let me know how it goes, yeah? - Mm. 409 00:20:52,550 --> 00:20:54,270 And remember the magic words. 410 00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:56,910 If she tries to suck out my soul, I say, "Expecto Patronum". 411 00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:59,470 I was thinking, "I'm sorry". 412 00:20:59,470 --> 00:21:00,830 Good luck. 413 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,670 Oh, thank you, you've remembered us at last. 414 00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:11,230 - I hope it is to your satisfaction this time. - Are those chives? 415 00:21:13,470 --> 00:21:16,910 And get him a new one, too, that's gone stone-cold. 416 00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:18,390 Of course, madam. 417 00:21:19,390 --> 00:21:22,870 If you could maybe only spit in hers? 418 00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:25,470 I can't remember the last time I saw you two months in a row, 419 00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:27,110 let alone two evenings. 420 00:21:27,110 --> 00:21:28,670 How's work? 421 00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:30,390 Er, yeah, work's... 422 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,670 ... fine, yes. 423 00:21:33,190 --> 00:21:35,470 I'm acting registrar now, did I mention that? 424 00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,350 Yes, it's wonderful news. 425 00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:40,230 Your father and I are very proud. 426 00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:42,630 Lesley's son's a professor. 427 00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:44,830 L... Lesley's son's 50. 428 00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:46,390 He said, she said. 429 00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:49,710 Anyway, I'm showing a minister round the ward tomorrow. 430 00:21:49,710 --> 00:21:51,870 Oh, that's fantastic, darling. 431 00:21:51,870 --> 00:21:53,950 How many doctors were they choosing from? 432 00:21:53,950 --> 00:21:56,910 - Quite a lot, actually. - Hundreds, I expect. 433 00:22:00,590 --> 00:22:04,590 Um, so yesterday, at the... 434 00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:05,790 ... at the theatre... 435 00:22:07,310 --> 00:22:09,990 ... we didn't really get the chance to speak properly. 436 00:22:09,990 --> 00:22:12,150 Well, you weren't there for half of it. 437 00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:15,550 I said something pretty important to you when I arrived. 438 00:22:15,550 --> 00:22:19,430 - When you finally arrived. - What I'm saying is I want to apologise to you 439 00:22:19,430 --> 00:22:21,990 for not saying it in the best way. 440 00:22:21,990 --> 00:22:24,750 But, er, it's important to me. 441 00:22:26,390 --> 00:22:27,830 He's important to me. 442 00:22:27,830 --> 00:22:29,630 When's Gregory's wedding? 443 00:22:29,630 --> 00:22:31,870 I really like the girl he's marrying, don't you? 444 00:22:31,870 --> 00:22:34,119 - She's very charming. - I'm talking to you about 445 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,640 Harry, though, aren't I, Mum? 446 00:22:35,641 --> 00:22:36,830 Not Greg. 447 00:22:36,830 --> 00:22:39,510 I'm saying to you that I live with Harry. 448 00:22:39,510 --> 00:22:41,270 And we only have one bedroom. 449 00:22:42,510 --> 00:22:44,790 Do you want a deposit on a bigger flat? 450 00:22:44,790 --> 00:22:46,470 Is that what all this is about? 451 00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:48,990 I'm saying to you, I live with Harry, 452 00:22:48,990 --> 00:22:52,350 I'm very happy, and we love each other, and we're gay. 453 00:22:52,350 --> 00:22:54,230 Both of you? 454 00:22:56,870 --> 00:22:58,390 Yes, both of... 455 00:22:58,390 --> 00:23:00,710 What was wrong with Helen? 456 00:23:00,710 --> 00:23:02,270 You were so nice together. 457 00:23:02,270 --> 00:23:05,390 - I'm gay, Mum. - Look. I've watched you pull your pants down 458 00:23:05,390 --> 00:23:07,390 at far too many children's birthday parties 459 00:23:07,390 --> 00:23:09,150 to be fazed by one of your outbursts. 460 00:23:09,150 --> 00:23:10,950 This is not an outburst. 461 00:23:12,430 --> 00:23:13,470 Thank you. 462 00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:16,870 Thank you. 463 00:23:22,670 --> 00:23:25,510 I don't know what you're getting so uppity about. 464 00:23:25,510 --> 00:23:27,990 I said to your father he seemed... 465 00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:31,350 - ... fairly nice. - He is nice. He's very nice. 466 00:23:32,670 --> 00:23:36,590 Did I tell you Monica's having her kitchen redone again? 467 00:23:36,590 --> 00:23:38,150 Glass everywhere. 468 00:23:38,150 --> 00:23:39,710 Looks awful. 469 00:23:39,710 --> 00:23:42,310 Anyway, we're engaged. 470 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,230 We're getting married. 471 00:24:16,670 --> 00:24:18,910 - So, how'd it go, then? - Yeah, fine. 472 00:24:18,910 --> 00:24:21,430 - She didn't kill you, then. That's something. - Yeah... 473 00:24:21,430 --> 00:24:23,150 Yeah, she got it. 474 00:24:23,150 --> 00:24:25,430 See? I knew she would, if you just apologised 475 00:24:25,430 --> 00:24:26,790 for springing it on her. 476 00:24:30,790 --> 00:24:33,990 So, um... what did she say? 477 00:24:33,990 --> 00:24:36,590 Oh, you know, she mainly talked about herself. 478 00:24:36,590 --> 00:24:39,310 But she was, er... 479 00:24:39,310 --> 00:24:41,030 ... interested in you. 480 00:24:41,030 --> 00:24:43,950 And, er, yeah, asked lots of questions. 481 00:24:45,350 --> 00:24:47,470 Like what? 482 00:24:47,470 --> 00:24:49,150 About your job, 483 00:24:49,150 --> 00:24:50,870 and about your family. 484 00:24:52,110 --> 00:24:54,830 And she said she can't wait to meet you properly, 485 00:24:54,830 --> 00:24:57,310 next time she's in London, stealing Dalmatians. 486 00:24:57,310 --> 00:25:00,300 I knew she'd be happy if you were just straight with her. 487 00:25:00,301 --> 00:25:02,070 I think she'd be happier if I was straight full stop. 488 00:25:02,070 --> 00:25:04,550 Well, why don't we arrange for us to all meet up again? 489 00:25:04,550 --> 00:25:05,870 I'm knackered, I should probably... 490 00:25:05,870 --> 00:25:07,550 Or we can ask her over for dinner. 491 00:25:07,550 --> 00:25:09,430 I can make... fajitas? 492 00:25:09,430 --> 00:25:12,910 Does she like fajitas? I mean, who doesn't love fajitas? 493 00:25:12,910 --> 00:25:14,710 - And I make amazing fajitas. - Harry... 494 00:25:14,710 --> 00:25:16,030 These really good... 495 00:26:42,390 --> 00:26:45,590 Anna? 496 00:26:45,590 --> 00:26:47,830 Anna? 497 00:26:49,590 --> 00:26:51,110 Anna! 498 00:26:55,430 --> 00:26:56,630 Anna... 499 00:26:56,630 --> 00:26:58,070 My God. 500 00:26:59,110 --> 00:27:00,270 God. 501 00:27:01,470 --> 00:27:03,070 Oh, God, I'm so sorry, did I wake you? 502 00:27:03,070 --> 00:27:04,590 I know the answer's yes. 503 00:27:04,590 --> 00:27:06,110 I totally woke you up. I'm so sorry. 504 00:27:06,110 --> 00:27:07,630 What's going on? 505 00:27:07,630 --> 00:27:10,230 Er, I just wanted, er, to talk to you. 506 00:27:10,230 --> 00:27:11,670 In the middle of the night? 507 00:27:12,790 --> 00:27:14,830 I thought you might wanna have a chat? 508 00:27:14,830 --> 00:27:17,510 And there's no-one else you can have a chat with? 509 00:27:17,510 --> 00:27:20,310 Wait here just one, one second, just give me one second. 510 00:27:29,750 --> 00:27:31,670 Do your scan now, shall we, yeah? 511 00:27:36,830 --> 00:27:38,990 Just watch out... just watch out for that. 512 00:27:38,990 --> 00:27:40,390 - Ooh! - Bit cold, sorry. 513 00:27:48,390 --> 00:27:50,710 Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? 514 00:27:50,710 --> 00:27:52,350 They said she's a girl. 515 00:27:52,350 --> 00:27:53,430 Yeah, I agree. 516 00:27:53,430 --> 00:27:55,350 That's her heart... 517 00:27:55,350 --> 00:27:57,310 ... beating away there. That all looks good. 518 00:27:59,190 --> 00:28:01,950 You know, it's really a weird job being an obstetrician. 519 00:28:03,510 --> 00:28:06,550 'Cos you always look after two separate patients at once. 520 00:28:14,030 --> 00:28:15,150 It's... 521 00:28:16,190 --> 00:28:18,510 It's just since I've been pregnant. 522 00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:22,790 It's not his fault. He's not a bad man. 523 00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:25,270 What's changed since you've been pregnant? 524 00:28:25,270 --> 00:28:28,670 Ernie can be a real handful, 525 00:28:28,670 --> 00:28:31,150 and his work's so stressful at the moment. 526 00:28:34,070 --> 00:28:35,590 He didn't mean to. 527 00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:37,190 Anna, will you let me help you? 528 00:28:59,230 --> 00:29:00,950 What's that? 529 00:29:00,950 --> 00:29:03,710 Nothing interesting, just a work form. 530 00:29:08,550 --> 00:29:10,190 This suit too tatty? 531 00:29:10,190 --> 00:29:11,230 Be honest. 532 00:29:12,590 --> 00:29:13,990 If anything, it's impressive 533 00:29:13,990 --> 00:29:16,470 you've managed to keep your school uniform so neat. 534 00:29:16,470 --> 00:29:18,550 Where's the one you wore to Hannah's wedding? 535 00:29:18,550 --> 00:29:21,070 Is that the wedding where we swam in the pond? Yeah. 536 00:29:21,070 --> 00:29:22,270 In the pond. 537 00:29:22,270 --> 00:29:24,350 Well, you look very handsome, 538 00:29:24,350 --> 00:29:26,670 in your suit with your shoes, and that little bit 539 00:29:26,670 --> 00:29:28,430 of beard you've left on your cheek. 540 00:29:35,190 --> 00:29:36,430 Oh, Jeez. 541 00:29:38,870 --> 00:29:40,030 Oh, hey! 542 00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:42,190 No, no, it's Harry. 543 00:29:42,190 --> 00:29:44,590 No, no, he's just in the... the bathroom, 544 00:29:44,590 --> 00:29:45,790 he'll be out in a sec. 545 00:29:45,790 --> 00:29:48,710 Sorry we didn't get to chat much at the theatre. 546 00:29:48,710 --> 00:29:50,390 Ha, thank you. 547 00:29:50,390 --> 00:29:51,790 Congratulations for? 548 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,150 Oh, right. 549 00:29:53,150 --> 00:29:54,710 Yes, of course. Silly me. Er... 550 00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:57,510 - I can... - He's just here now. I'll pass you over. 551 00:29:58,870 --> 00:30:00,350 It's your mum. 552 00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:06,390 Hi, Mum. 553 00:30:08,190 --> 00:30:09,990 Mum, the signal is bad. 554 00:30:09,990 --> 00:30:11,990 I'll call you back later. 555 00:30:13,830 --> 00:30:14,870 OK, bye. 556 00:30:19,030 --> 00:30:20,670 I told her that we were engaged. 557 00:30:20,670 --> 00:30:22,350 Yeah, I worked that bit out. 558 00:30:23,470 --> 00:30:26,150 This better be a fucking amazing explanation. 559 00:30:26,150 --> 00:30:27,950 - You don't know her. - I'm starting to think I don't know you. 560 00:30:27,950 --> 00:30:30,070 It was... It was the only thing I could think to say to... 561 00:30:31,510 --> 00:30:32,950 ... make her take us seriously. 562 00:30:32,950 --> 00:30:35,510 Well, wouldn't it be a good start if you took us seriously? 563 00:30:35,510 --> 00:30:38,310 I proposed. That's serious. 564 00:30:38,310 --> 00:30:40,230 Yeah, and what did I say? Hm? 565 00:30:40,230 --> 00:30:42,430 Let me in. Let me know what's going on in there. 566 00:30:42,430 --> 00:30:43,990 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 567 00:30:43,990 --> 00:30:45,190 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 568 00:30:45,190 --> 00:30:46,630 "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." 569 00:30:46,630 --> 00:30:48,950 I knew it was a terrible idea coming out to her. 570 00:30:50,190 --> 00:30:51,470 How can you say that? 571 00:30:51,470 --> 00:30:53,190 Well, look what's happened. 572 00:30:55,550 --> 00:30:57,670 - Come here. - Sorry. 573 00:30:57,670 --> 00:30:59,750 It's OK. Well done for telling her. 574 00:31:04,590 --> 00:31:07,990 - Er, what's going on here? - Some wiring issue. 575 00:31:07,990 --> 00:31:10,470 - How long's it gonna take? - How long's a piece of wire? 576 00:31:10,470 --> 00:31:12,070 Excuse me. 577 00:31:12,070 --> 00:31:14,870 I presume this will be tidied away within the next hour? 578 00:31:14,870 --> 00:31:18,150 Jesus Christ. It's like downtown Basra in here. 579 00:31:18,150 --> 00:31:20,230 I didn't think it would be possible 580 00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:21,550 to make the place look worse. 581 00:31:21,550 --> 00:31:23,350 We needed to stop the alarm misfiring, so I... 582 00:31:23,350 --> 00:31:25,190 Threw a grenade at the ceiling? 583 00:31:25,190 --> 00:31:28,270 God, and don't let the fire officer see that suit. 584 00:31:28,270 --> 00:31:30,730 - The whole place could go up. - Can we get a doctor 585 00:31:30,730 --> 00:31:32,270 - into Room Three, please? - Tracy! 586 00:31:32,270 --> 00:31:33,870 Clean that up. The minister will be here... 587 00:31:35,190 --> 00:31:37,750 Hi, I'm Adam, one of the doctors. We met yesterday. 588 00:31:37,750 --> 00:31:39,630 Straightforward water birth three minutes ago, 589 00:31:39,630 --> 00:31:41,990 placenta not coming easily, and now a bit of a bleed. 590 00:31:41,990 --> 00:31:45,310 Right. 591 00:31:45,310 --> 00:31:47,390 OK, let's, er, pop you onto the bed 592 00:31:47,390 --> 00:31:50,270 so the doctor can have a proper look. OK? 593 00:31:50,270 --> 00:31:52,910 Er, and I... I can still eat my placenta 594 00:31:52,910 --> 00:31:55,430 after this, you're... you're not gonna take it away? 595 00:31:55,430 --> 00:31:58,230 That's a question for the midwives, not me, I'm afraid. 596 00:31:58,230 --> 00:32:00,350 Yeah, it's perfectly natural. 597 00:32:00,350 --> 00:32:01,670 Dogs do it. 598 00:32:02,950 --> 00:32:05,030 They also eat their young and fuck the furniture. 599 00:32:05,030 --> 00:32:06,790 Don't worry, it won't take long. 600 00:32:06,790 --> 00:32:08,150 Is that pain relief OK? 601 00:32:09,510 --> 00:32:11,830 OK. Right, first things first, let's see where 602 00:32:11,830 --> 00:32:13,270 this bleed is coming from. 603 00:32:13,270 --> 00:32:15,110 Yep, you've got a bit of a tear here. 604 00:32:15,110 --> 00:32:17,710 Suture, needle-holder, scissors, large swabs. Thanks. 605 00:32:21,470 --> 00:32:22,990 I'll be two minutes. 606 00:32:22,990 --> 00:32:24,430 Just a quick bit of needlework. 607 00:32:27,190 --> 00:32:28,550 Isn't she lovely? 608 00:32:28,550 --> 00:32:30,070 That's the bleeding stopped. 609 00:32:30,070 --> 00:32:33,670 We'll get her weighed, as soon as doctor's left. 610 00:32:33,670 --> 00:32:35,310 Now, delicious... 611 00:32:37,190 --> 00:32:38,910 ... placenta. 612 00:32:40,590 --> 00:32:42,030 Hang on. Isn't... ? 613 00:32:42,030 --> 00:32:43,830 Isn't this... 614 00:32:43,830 --> 00:32:45,710 ... the placenta? 615 00:32:46,830 --> 00:32:49,030 No, that's blood clots from inside your... 616 00:32:50,430 --> 00:32:51,510 That's blood clots. 617 00:32:56,710 --> 00:32:58,710 "Crash call to gynae. Crash call to gynae." 618 00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:04,550 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. 619 00:33:04,550 --> 00:33:06,270 OK. I've got access. 620 00:33:06,270 --> 00:33:09,510 Er, can I help? I'm one of the obs and gynae registrars. 621 00:33:09,510 --> 00:33:10,990 What do you know about her? 622 00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:13,110 Er, Magda Winnicka, 85 years old, 623 00:33:13,110 --> 00:33:15,910 long-stay stable vulval cancer patient, awaiting discharge. 624 00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:18,750 - Otherwise fit as a fiddle. - Well, she's not now, is she? 625 00:33:18,750 --> 00:33:21,950 I'm so sorry, Doctor, I hadn't checked the notes before. 626 00:33:21,950 --> 00:33:23,630 Oh, for God's sake. 627 00:33:23,630 --> 00:33:26,590 This patient has a valid Do Not Resuscitate form. 628 00:33:26,590 --> 00:33:28,350 Is everybody happy to stop CPR now? 629 00:33:28,350 --> 00:33:30,310 No, come on, we can give her a good shot. 630 00:33:30,310 --> 00:33:32,870 Resuscitation discontinued at 10:42. 631 00:33:32,870 --> 00:33:34,470 She was absolutely fine yesterday. 632 00:33:34,470 --> 00:33:36,030 I fitted her a pessary, 633 00:33:36,030 --> 00:33:38,430 - she was up in bed, talking. - We're not going against 634 00:33:38,430 --> 00:33:40,870 a Do Not Resuscitate order authorised by the patient. 635 00:33:40,870 --> 00:33:42,470 Are you happy to certify death? 636 00:34:07,030 --> 00:34:08,870 I took my mum for dinner, by the way. 637 00:34:13,470 --> 00:34:14,750 Total disaster. 638 00:34:18,630 --> 00:34:19,790 Mostly my fault. 639 00:34:21,710 --> 00:34:23,430 I told her I was getting married, 640 00:34:23,430 --> 00:34:25,830 which was a bit of a lie. 641 00:34:25,830 --> 00:34:27,910 I mean, I asked him, but he said no, 642 00:34:27,910 --> 00:34:29,470 which is fair enough, really. 643 00:34:34,790 --> 00:34:37,710 I always used to reckon I was good at medicine and... 644 00:34:37,710 --> 00:34:39,510 ... bad at the other stuff. 645 00:34:44,230 --> 00:34:46,070 Not doing great at either right now. 646 00:35:30,070 --> 00:35:31,630 Don't you dare haunt me. 647 00:35:51,230 --> 00:35:52,830 Oh, yes, yes. 648 00:35:52,830 --> 00:35:56,430 I can see zat you will probably be dead by... 649 00:35:56,430 --> 00:35:58,150 ... Freitag. 650 00:35:58,150 --> 00:35:59,590 Zat one zere, 651 00:35:59,590 --> 00:36:02,910 she has the worse case of worms I ever, ever seen. 652 00:36:04,750 --> 00:36:06,550 That's her bloody surname. 653 00:36:06,550 --> 00:36:08,030 Have another look. 654 00:36:08,030 --> 00:36:10,470 She's not on the antenatal ward. They told me she's here. 655 00:36:10,470 --> 00:36:12,150 Just tell me what room she's in. 656 00:36:12,150 --> 00:36:15,350 Of course, if you'll give me a moment. 657 00:36:15,350 --> 00:36:16,910 Is this a joke? 658 00:36:23,310 --> 00:36:25,590 What am I meant to do? 659 00:36:25,590 --> 00:36:28,030 Anna, please don't worry about it, OK? 660 00:36:28,030 --> 00:36:29,830 It's gonna be all right. 661 00:36:29,830 --> 00:36:32,590 So, er, OK, we're gonna sort it out, all right? 662 00:36:32,590 --> 00:36:34,750 - Sort what out? - Er... 663 00:36:34,750 --> 00:36:37,430 ... we just need to run a few more tests. 664 00:36:41,030 --> 00:36:42,550 How long is this gonna take? 665 00:36:42,550 --> 00:36:44,150 I'm sure it won't take long. 666 00:36:44,650 --> 00:36:46,354 Mr Hanson, actually, I'd prefer 667 00:36:46,355 --> 00:36:47,360 if you could give us a few more minutes. 668 00:36:47,361 --> 00:36:49,270 - You need to drop your attitude. - Angus. Please. 669 00:36:49,271 --> 00:36:50,830 She's had you in here all night. 670 00:36:50,830 --> 00:36:53,230 She's fannying around, clearly doesn't know what she's doing. 671 00:36:53,230 --> 00:36:55,670 Why don't I get someone else to come in 672 00:36:55,670 --> 00:36:57,910 and do the scan, then, yeah? 673 00:37:02,190 --> 00:37:03,830 Just do your little tests, 674 00:37:03,830 --> 00:37:05,350 and we'll get home. 675 00:37:10,630 --> 00:37:12,910 Spit-spot, team, they'll be here any moment. 676 00:37:14,070 --> 00:37:17,150 Ah. I guess pyjamas are probably better than nylon and vomit. 677 00:37:22,910 --> 00:37:24,550 I had a patient die today. 678 00:37:27,910 --> 00:37:29,710 Someone... 679 00:37:29,710 --> 00:37:32,190 You know, someone I really cared for. 680 00:37:32,190 --> 00:37:34,990 Well, you can't have cared for her that well if she died. 681 00:37:36,670 --> 00:37:38,270 I thought I might go to her funeral. 682 00:37:38,270 --> 00:37:40,350 You're not going to a patient's funeral. 683 00:37:40,350 --> 00:37:41,670 It's unprofessional. 684 00:37:41,670 --> 00:37:43,870 Did I say "go to her funeral" or did I say 685 00:37:43,870 --> 00:37:45,350 "fuck her grandchildren"? 686 00:37:45,350 --> 00:37:46,710 Er... 687 00:37:48,350 --> 00:37:50,550 I don't want to be unprofessional, I just wanna... 688 00:37:50,550 --> 00:37:53,070 ... wanna make sure that there's, er, a friendly face there. 689 00:37:53,070 --> 00:37:55,670 Oh, you gonna make some balloon animals as well? 690 00:37:57,430 --> 00:38:00,150 We've got boundaries for a reason. 691 00:38:00,150 --> 00:38:03,630 Shit happens. You can't just let yourself feel it all. 692 00:38:05,070 --> 00:38:06,910 They're just leaving the main building. 693 00:38:06,910 --> 00:38:08,230 Be with you in three minutes. 694 00:38:08,230 --> 00:38:09,630 Eyes right. 695 00:38:14,990 --> 00:38:16,870 - How long is this gonna take? - I just wanna monitor 696 00:38:16,870 --> 00:38:18,630 the baby's heart for 15 minutes. 697 00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:20,259 - Does it have to be that long? - Why don't I put 698 00:38:20,260 --> 00:38:21,510 a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, 699 00:38:21,511 --> 00:38:23,550 just to stop anyone coming in, 'cos the doors 700 00:38:23,550 --> 00:38:25,030 don't have locks here. 701 00:38:25,030 --> 00:38:26,070 Fine. 702 00:38:31,750 --> 00:38:33,790 Neeeowwww! 703 00:38:33,790 --> 00:38:35,790 Shut that child up. 704 00:38:35,790 --> 00:38:38,470 Ernie, darling, don't do that. 705 00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,630 Call security now. Room One. 706 00:38:56,630 --> 00:38:59,630 Kay! Get back here. 707 00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:05,590 Everything OK? 708 00:39:05,590 --> 00:39:09,310 Yeah. We're, er, done here. Just heading home. 709 00:39:09,310 --> 00:39:11,630 Thanks very much for all your help, love. 710 00:39:11,630 --> 00:39:12,990 Anything I can do, Shruti? 711 00:39:12,990 --> 00:39:15,990 The problem I was worried about is a problem-problem. 712 00:39:15,990 --> 00:39:18,670 This is the second full day of being messed around 713 00:39:18,670 --> 00:39:21,510 by this department. And just so you know, Dr... 714 00:39:21,510 --> 00:39:23,150 ... er, Kay, I am going to complain about all this. 715 00:39:23,150 --> 00:39:25,590 Just give me five minutes with your wife, please, sir, 716 00:39:25,590 --> 00:39:27,270 and then you can complain to the chief executive, 717 00:39:27,270 --> 00:39:29,150 the Health Secretary, and Princess Michael of Kent 718 00:39:29,150 --> 00:39:31,590 - for all I care. - We're leaving. Come on. 719 00:39:31,590 --> 00:39:33,390 - No. - Hey! 720 00:39:33,390 --> 00:39:35,070 That's assault. Did you see that? 721 00:39:35,070 --> 00:39:37,470 - He assaulted me. Come on. - Ernie... 722 00:39:37,470 --> 00:39:39,990 - Get out of my way. - You know what, maybe we should just go home. 723 00:39:39,990 --> 00:39:41,630 Sweetheart, listen, listen, listen. 724 00:39:41,630 --> 00:39:43,190 - Can we just get Ernie? - Shut your mouth. 725 00:39:43,190 --> 00:39:45,910 - No, hey... This is mental. - Come with us, please. 726 00:39:45,910 --> 00:39:47,630 - Totally unnecessary. - This way, sir. 727 00:39:47,630 --> 00:39:49,470 I, I need to speak to somebody senior. 728 00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:50,710 No, you need to come with us. 729 00:39:50,710 --> 00:39:53,110 Tell them! I've done nothing wrong. 730 00:39:53,110 --> 00:39:54,830 I'll leave this with you, Shruti. 731 00:39:54,830 --> 00:39:56,390 This is ridiculous. Who do I need to speak to? 732 00:39:56,390 --> 00:39:57,830 - Well done. - Anna! 733 00:39:57,830 --> 00:40:00,830 This is our most recently refurbished suite. 734 00:40:07,950 --> 00:40:10,670 Well, that was, er, something of a surprise. 735 00:40:10,670 --> 00:40:12,470 Er, shall we? 736 00:40:12,470 --> 00:40:14,550 Oh, shit, they're taking photographs. 737 00:40:15,630 --> 00:40:17,390 Better change the patients' initials. 738 00:40:17,390 --> 00:40:18,910 For confidentiality. 739 00:40:35,670 --> 00:40:37,100 He'll be held overnight at least, 740 00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:39,190 so that's time to get you and Ernie somewhere safe. 741 00:40:39,190 --> 00:40:41,070 I don't need somewhere safe. 742 00:40:41,070 --> 00:40:42,990 Anna, you don't have to put up with this any more. 743 00:40:42,990 --> 00:40:45,630 He only got angry today because it was all taking so long. 744 00:40:45,630 --> 00:40:47,630 You told me that he... 745 00:40:48,910 --> 00:40:51,990 Mummy's just going to the toilet I'll be right back. 746 00:40:56,030 --> 00:40:58,110 Well, what now? 747 00:40:58,110 --> 00:41:01,150 We'll work out a safeguarding plan. You did really well today. 748 00:41:01,150 --> 00:41:03,910 It's all fucking pointless, though, isn't it? 749 00:41:03,910 --> 00:41:06,550 Fucking pointless. Fucking pointless. 750 00:41:20,310 --> 00:41:22,670 Hey. I thought you were gonna stand me up there. 751 00:41:23,790 --> 00:41:25,230 Oh, my God. 752 00:41:26,430 --> 00:41:29,190 Oh, I'm so sorry. Er, what time is it? 753 00:41:29,190 --> 00:41:32,710 - How long have you been waiting? - Er, don't worry. 754 00:41:32,710 --> 00:41:34,990 They're holding our table for us. 755 00:41:34,990 --> 00:41:36,590 Er... 756 00:41:36,590 --> 00:41:40,190 ... listen, do you mind if, if we raincheck, please? 757 00:41:40,190 --> 00:41:42,190 I'm not feeling too great. 758 00:41:43,350 --> 00:41:45,070 No worries. Another time. 759 00:41:46,550 --> 00:41:48,190 See you around. 760 00:41:58,910 --> 00:42:03,190 I will end with the Prayer of Commendation for the Dying. 761 00:42:04,430 --> 00:42:09,790 To you, O Lord, we commend the soul of Magda Winnicka, 762 00:42:09,890 --> 00:42:11,390 your servant. 763 00:42:11,390 --> 00:42:15,710 In the sight of this world she is now dead. 764 00:42:15,710 --> 00:42:19,070 In your sight, may she live forever. 765 00:42:20,950 --> 00:42:25,710 Forgive whatever sins she committed through human weakness... 766 00:42:36,910 --> 00:42:38,390 Hey! 767 00:42:40,510 --> 00:42:41,910 Are you OK? 768 00:42:44,190 --> 00:42:45,710 I'm just... 769 00:42:56,430 --> 00:42:57,830 I've had better days. 770 00:43:02,030 --> 00:43:04,350 Were you... close? 771 00:43:04,350 --> 00:43:05,430 Um... 772 00:43:07,670 --> 00:43:09,270 I think she hated me, actually. 773 00:43:19,150 --> 00:43:21,670 Seriously, it really means a lot that you brought me here. 774 00:43:21,670 --> 00:43:23,870 Bring you to all the best places, don't I? 775 00:43:25,310 --> 00:43:27,470 I've been thinking a lot about... 776 00:43:30,150 --> 00:43:32,070 ... that question you asked me. 777 00:43:36,470 --> 00:43:37,710 I've changed my mind. 778 00:43:43,710 --> 00:43:45,030 Go on, ask it again. 779 00:43:47,870 --> 00:43:48,950 Will you marry me? 780 00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:54,110 Of course I will. 781 00:43:59,150 --> 00:44:01,590 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. 782 00:44:09,190 --> 00:44:10,870 Good. 783 00:44:10,870 --> 00:44:12,630 'Cos I've already booked the venue. 784 00:44:17,670 --> 00:44:19,870 Her grandson's fit, isn't he? 785 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:34,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 58224

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