Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,931 --> 00:00:04,398
- All right, one more from us.
- Oh.
2
00:00:05,634 --> 00:00:07,835
Oh, wow, Max, look.
3
00:00:07,936 --> 00:00:09,337
Another plant.
4
00:00:09,438 --> 00:00:11,872
Yeah, I might've gotten a little
carried away at the nursery.
5
00:00:11,973 --> 00:00:13,174
Nurseries, plural,
6
00:00:13,275 --> 00:00:14,675
and a few unattended gardens.
7
00:00:14,776 --> 00:00:17,211
Okay, let me introduce you to the gang.
8
00:00:17,312 --> 00:00:19,280
Um, that's Leaf Garrett,
9
00:00:19,381 --> 00:00:23,284
Alexander Hamil-stem and Jane Fern-da.
10
00:00:23,985 --> 00:00:25,920
And that's Venus and Serena Flytrap.
11
00:00:26,021 --> 00:00:28,055
And the fact that neither
of them are flytraps
12
00:00:28,156 --> 00:00:29,390
does not bother me one bit.
13
00:00:29,491 --> 00:00:31,258
- It bothers her a lot.
- It really does.
14
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:32,827
Well, thank you, both.
15
00:00:32,928 --> 00:00:35,696
I brought muffins,
but I didn't name 'em.
16
00:00:35,797 --> 00:00:37,865
Makes 'em too hard to eat.
17
00:00:37,966 --> 00:00:41,369
I still regret what I did to Gerald.
18
00:00:42,537 --> 00:00:45,272
Katharine, come help me
open the wine I brought.
19
00:00:45,374 --> 00:00:46,741
Isn't it a screw top?
20
00:00:46,842 --> 00:00:49,377
Yes, and you have
those big, grippy hands.
21
00:00:51,079 --> 00:00:52,780
Didn't see your housewarming gift.
22
00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:55,516
Was the six hours of
helping you move not enough?
23
00:00:55,617 --> 00:00:57,518
You ate our pizza, drank our beer
24
00:00:57,619 --> 00:00:59,720
and then suddenly had a "back spasm."
25
00:00:59,821 --> 00:01:02,456
Okay, yeah, I'll swing
by later with a candle.
26
00:01:02,557 --> 00:01:03,557
Oh, and nothing patchouli.
27
00:01:03,658 --> 00:01:05,025
I do not want it smelling
28
00:01:05,127 --> 00:01:06,594
like somebody named
"Moonbeam" lives here.
29
00:01:06,695 --> 00:01:08,562
Oh, and if we're making requests,
30
00:01:08,663 --> 00:01:10,998
I prefer a reed diffuser.
31
00:01:11,099 --> 00:01:13,734
Katharine, is there
any chance you and Oscar
32
00:01:13,835 --> 00:01:16,537
can pull yourselves away
from your puzzle Friday night?
33
00:01:16,638 --> 00:01:18,005
Uh, don't just assume
34
00:01:18,106 --> 00:01:19,807
that's what we're
doing on a Friday night.
35
00:01:19,908 --> 00:01:22,476
I'm sorry. Uh, what
were you going to do?
36
00:01:22,577 --> 00:01:24,945
A puzzle.
37
00:01:25,046 --> 00:01:26,480
But it's a 2,000-piecer,
38
00:01:26,581 --> 00:01:28,616
- so it really kicks the night into high gear.
- Oh.
39
00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:31,152
I'm sure it does, sweetie.
40
00:01:31,253 --> 00:01:35,022
I met a man at the supermarket,
and he asked me out.
41
00:01:35,123 --> 00:01:36,457
What?
42
00:01:37,392 --> 00:01:38,559
Wow.
43
00:01:38,660 --> 00:01:40,327
"Pickup on aisle three."
44
00:01:40,429 --> 00:01:42,029
- Stop it.
- No.
45
00:01:42,130 --> 00:01:44,365
I'm really proud of you
for getting back out there,
46
00:01:44,466 --> 00:01:46,100
but what does this have to do with me?
47
00:01:46,201 --> 00:01:49,570
I was hoping you and
Oscar could join us.
48
00:01:49,671 --> 00:01:51,172
Like a double date.
49
00:01:51,273 --> 00:01:53,741
Why do you want me to come
on a first date with you?
50
00:01:53,842 --> 00:01:55,042
I met him at the supermarket.
51
00:01:55,143 --> 00:01:56,977
I don't know anything about him.
52
00:01:57,078 --> 00:02:01,782
He could be a homicidal
maniac or really into jazz.
53
00:02:02,584 --> 00:02:04,051
Fine, we'll come.
54
00:02:04,152 --> 00:02:05,920
Ah, wonderful. Oh.
55
00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:08,622
Please send photos of what
you're planning to wear
56
00:02:08,723 --> 00:02:11,959
by Thursday noon, so I
have time to give notes.
57
00:02:17,499 --> 00:02:19,800
And there she was,
58
00:02:19,901 --> 00:02:21,435
this beautiful redhead
59
00:02:21,536 --> 00:02:24,805
picking up every single
apple in the produce aisle.
60
00:02:24,906 --> 00:02:26,607
And what'd you end up buying?
61
00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:28,175
A pineapple.
62
00:02:28,276 --> 00:02:30,845
I asked her out right then and there.
63
00:02:30,946 --> 00:02:33,781
I like a woman who keeps me on my toes.
64
00:02:33,882 --> 00:02:36,150
Fun fact, uh, did you
know that the pineapple
65
00:02:36,251 --> 00:02:37,818
is a symbol of hospitality?
66
00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:41,155
Which is why there are carved
representations of them in many hotels.
67
00:02:41,256 --> 00:02:42,623
That is a fun fact.
68
00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:45,359
Oh. No one ever thinks my facts are fun.
69
00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:46,827
I like him.
70
00:02:47,662 --> 00:02:49,063
So, what do you do, Charles?
71
00:02:49,164 --> 00:02:51,398
I own a chain of local
fast food restaurants
72
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,500
called Sergeant McCluck's.
73
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:55,703
I love Sergeant McCluck's.
74
00:02:55,804 --> 00:02:58,138
But why is the
Chicky-Chick Sauce seasonal?
75
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,408
I think we can all agree that
every season is sauce season.
76
00:03:01,510 --> 00:03:02,810
Um, Oscar,
77
00:03:02,911 --> 00:03:04,445
I don't think Charles wants to spend
78
00:03:04,546 --> 00:03:06,313
the whole evening talking about work.
79
00:03:07,549 --> 00:03:08,883
Although I would appreciate it
80
00:03:08,984 --> 00:03:10,551
if you could expand the vegetarian menu.
81
00:03:10,652 --> 00:03:12,853
A large bowl of coleslaw
does not a salad make.
82
00:03:12,954 --> 00:03:14,455
- That's enough, you two.
- It's fine.
83
00:03:14,556 --> 00:03:16,423
It's always nice to meet a McCluckhead.
84
00:03:16,525 --> 00:03:18,192
Cluck, cluck.
85
00:03:18,293 --> 00:03:20,227
You know, we're thinking
about expanding to New York.
86
00:03:20,328 --> 00:03:22,363
Oh, I love New York.
87
00:03:22,464 --> 00:03:23,964
I lived there one summer.
88
00:03:24,065 --> 00:03:27,401
It was just me, my cousin
and a young Annie Leibovitz.
89
00:03:27,502 --> 00:03:28,702
Isn't that something?
90
00:03:28,803 --> 00:03:30,604
It's something, all right.
91
00:03:30,705 --> 00:03:32,139
A lie.
92
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,542
Where did you meet Annie Leibovitz?
93
00:03:34,643 --> 00:03:37,545
I met her during a
women's rights protest.
94
00:03:37,646 --> 00:03:39,346
For or against?
95
00:03:39,447 --> 00:03:41,315
For, of course.
96
00:03:41,416 --> 00:03:43,317
We burned our bras together.
97
00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:44,885
You are just amazing.
98
00:03:44,986 --> 00:03:48,756
I bet your bra burned
brightest of them all.
99
00:03:48,857 --> 00:03:51,825
I'm not gonna lie, Charles, it did.
100
00:03:52,994 --> 00:03:54,595
What is happening?
101
00:03:54,696 --> 00:03:55,930
I'm on it.
102
00:03:56,831 --> 00:03:58,065
Hey, Chuck, now that we're friends,
103
00:03:58,166 --> 00:03:59,633
will you tell me the secret ingredient
104
00:03:59,734 --> 00:04:00,834
in the Chicky-Chick Sauce?
105
00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:02,770
No can do.
106
00:04:02,871 --> 00:04:05,806
Is it grilled onions? Wink
twice if it's grilled onions.
107
00:04:07,809 --> 00:04:09,777
Mm. Isn't this nice?
108
00:04:09,878 --> 00:04:12,444
And now we don't have to watch
movies on your tiny-ass screen.
109
00:04:12,445 --> 00:04:15,182
Mm-hmm. I told you, if you
sit closer, it feels bigger.
110
00:04:15,283 --> 00:04:17,818
- Yeah, you tell me that a lot.
- Hey... Easy with that.
111
00:04:17,919 --> 00:04:19,620
People might not know you joking.
112
00:04:22,023 --> 00:04:23,924
Why is this in the couch?
113
00:04:24,025 --> 00:04:26,026
Oh, that's Max's back-scratching spoon.
114
00:04:26,127 --> 00:04:29,163
- Oh, cool.
- Oh, and sometimes butt.
115
00:04:29,264 --> 00:04:30,664
Dude!
116
00:04:30,765 --> 00:04:32,933
Yeah, your boy has no
respect for common areas.
117
00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:35,736
Like, why does he have to keep
every cabinet and drawer open?
118
00:04:35,837 --> 00:04:37,204
Does he think the
dishes need to breathe?
119
00:04:37,305 --> 00:04:38,939
Is the silverware afraid of the dark?
120
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,475
Listen, okay, Max is my
buddy. I don't want...
121
00:04:41,576 --> 00:04:43,944
And don't even get me
started on his phone voice.
122
00:04:44,045 --> 00:04:46,313
Yeah, I want light sauce on one half,
123
00:04:46,414 --> 00:04:47,948
heavy sauce on the other half.
124
00:04:48,049 --> 00:04:50,651
Heavy cheese on the light
half and light cheese
125
00:04:50,752 --> 00:04:52,353
- on the heavy half.
- Uh, Max?
126
00:04:52,454 --> 00:04:54,421
I'm trying to get some work
done. Can you keep it down?
127
00:04:54,522 --> 00:04:55,856
Oh, yeah, sure.
128
00:04:55,957 --> 00:04:57,858
No, no, no, no, no!
Okay, let me start over.
129
00:04:57,959 --> 00:05:00,194
I want light sauce on one half...
130
00:05:00,295 --> 00:05:02,429
At this point, I think the whole complex
131
00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:04,765
knows his pia order,
his credit card number
132
00:05:04,866 --> 00:05:06,600
and that his mom thinks
her coworker Sharon
133
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:07,901
is sleeping with the boss.
134
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,670
To be fair, that part's interesting.
135
00:05:09,771 --> 00:05:13,073
I'll give you that. Max cannot
modulate his voice sometimes.
136
00:05:13,174 --> 00:05:15,042
- I mean, have you heard him try to whisper?
- No.
137
00:05:15,143 --> 00:05:16,977
That's 'cause he can't.
138
00:05:17,078 --> 00:05:20,014
Aww, thank you, it's so nice
to know that you have my back.
139
00:05:20,115 --> 00:05:21,949
Always.
140
00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:23,817
What in the hell is that?
141
00:05:23,918 --> 00:05:26,120
Oh, did I forget to
mention the bagpipes?
142
00:05:26,221 --> 00:05:27,588
Come on, let's go watch the movie
143
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:29,023
on my laptop in my bathroom.
144
00:05:29,124 --> 00:05:31,025
If we put a towel at
the bottom of the door,
145
00:05:31,126 --> 00:05:33,093
it'll muffle the high notes.
146
00:05:33,194 --> 00:05:35,295
Good God!
147
00:05:42,103 --> 00:05:44,938
- Hey, Carter.
- Can you come out here? We need to talk.
148
00:05:47,175 --> 00:05:49,076
And can you shut up the bagpipes?
149
00:05:49,177 --> 00:05:51,245
It's like a thousand dying goats.
150
00:05:52,113 --> 00:05:53,847
I got another kid's birthday gig.
151
00:05:53,948 --> 00:05:55,416
Have you ever seen the movie Brave?
152
00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:56,884
No.
153
00:05:56,985 --> 00:05:58,110
Me, neither, but apparently,
154
00:05:58,153 --> 00:05:59,853
the princess in it is Scottish.
155
00:05:59,954 --> 00:06:01,789
I lied and said I
could play the bagpipes.
156
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:04,091
I thought, "I'm musical,
how hard could it be?"
157
00:06:04,192 --> 00:06:05,893
Turns out, very.
158
00:06:05,994 --> 00:06:08,228
That explains the kilt.
159
00:06:08,329 --> 00:06:09,863
No, actually, it doesn't.
160
00:06:09,964 --> 00:06:11,532
Oh, I'm just getting into character.
161
00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:14,068
And I like to let my wee lads breathe.
162
00:06:15,336 --> 00:06:16,570
Can you keep it down,
163
00:06:16,671 --> 00:06:17,938
'cause you are driving Randi nuts.
164
00:06:18,039 --> 00:06:19,373
Oh, I'm driving her nuts?
165
00:06:19,474 --> 00:06:20,741
Welcome back to
166
00:06:20,842 --> 00:06:24,445
Murder, Murder, Murder.
167
00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:26,146
Last we left off,
168
00:06:26,247 --> 00:06:29,616
the killer was disemboweling
the young housewife
169
00:06:29,718 --> 00:06:31,552
with dull kitchen shears.
170
00:06:31,653 --> 00:06:35,889
She pulled out her victim's
slippery, stringy intestines
171
00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:38,425
and methodically piled
them on the floor,
172
00:06:38,526 --> 00:06:43,030
placing her no-longer
beating heart on top.
173
00:06:43,131 --> 00:06:46,934
Oh, yeah. This gonna be a good one.
174
00:06:47,035 --> 00:06:48,969
Plus, she eats all my junk food.
175
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:50,337
How am I supposed to eat my feelings
176
00:06:50,438 --> 00:06:52,139
with Randi's kale chips?
177
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,007
All right, man, look, I don't
want to get in the middle of...
178
00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:56,376
And she leaves her painty-brush
water in coffee cups
179
00:06:56,478 --> 00:06:57,644
all over the place.
180
00:06:57,746 --> 00:06:58,779
I accidentally drank it.
181
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,481
It really didn't taste good.
182
00:07:00,582 --> 00:07:03,617
Why wouldn't you look inside
the cup before you drink it?
183
00:07:03,718 --> 00:07:06,420
'Cause it was my mug. It said
"World's Greatest Bartender."
184
00:07:06,521 --> 00:07:08,522
Is Randi the world's greatest bartender?
185
00:07:08,623 --> 00:07:10,290
Are you?
186
00:07:10,391 --> 00:07:11,959
This is on Randi, not me.
187
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:13,393
Okay, look, I will admit, I mean,
188
00:07:13,495 --> 00:07:15,462
Randi's true crime
podcasts make me nervous.
189
00:07:15,563 --> 00:07:18,165
I mean, at one point, I
swear she was taking notes.
190
00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:20,067
Exactly. She's the problem, not me.
191
00:07:20,168 --> 00:07:21,568
Randi will hear you.
192
00:07:21,669 --> 00:07:22,703
It's fine, I'm whispering.
193
00:07:22,804 --> 00:07:25,372
No. You're not.
194
00:07:27,375 --> 00:07:28,742
This has been great.
195
00:07:28,843 --> 00:07:30,144
You know, not many daughters
196
00:07:30,245 --> 00:07:31,879
would go with their
mother on a first date.
197
00:07:31,980 --> 00:07:33,046
Y'all must be close.
198
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,616
Mm. She's the Ethel to my Lucy.
199
00:07:35,717 --> 00:07:37,050
Well, if anyone's Lucy, it's me.
200
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,419
- I'm the redhead.
- Ow, okay.
201
00:07:39,521 --> 00:07:42,122
If you'll excuse me, nature calls.
202
00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,224
Actually, she called 20 minutes ago,
203
00:07:44,325 --> 00:07:47,060
but I've been having so
much fun, I put her on hold.
204
00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,495
I'll go with you.
205
00:07:48,596 --> 00:07:50,063
I have a few questions
about your mascot.
206
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,732
Why does Sergeant
McCluck wear an eyepatch?
207
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:53,233
Was he wounded in the war?
208
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:54,868
- If so, which war?
- Uh...
209
00:07:56,104 --> 00:07:59,072
I was nervous, but he seems nice, right?
210
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:01,508
Yeah, and-and he seems
to really like you,
211
00:08:01,609 --> 00:08:05,145
so I don't know why you feel
the need to lie to impress him.
212
00:08:05,246 --> 00:08:06,980
What are you talking about?
213
00:08:07,081 --> 00:08:09,249
Well, all those stories from before,
214
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:11,785
like, New York, A-Annie Leibovitz?
215
00:08:11,886 --> 00:08:13,387
All those things are true.
216
00:08:13,488 --> 00:08:16,156
You tried out to be a
Dallas Cowboys cheerleader?
217
00:08:16,257 --> 00:08:18,959
Yes. Just because you don't
have hand-eye coordination
218
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,394
doesn't mean I don't.
219
00:08:20,495 --> 00:08:23,831
How has none of this
ever come up before?
220
00:08:23,932 --> 00:08:26,433
Well, we usually talk about you.
221
00:08:26,534 --> 00:08:28,168
Which is fine.
222
00:08:28,269 --> 00:08:31,071
It comes with the
territory of being a mom.
223
00:08:33,174 --> 00:08:35,542
Sergeant McCluck doesn't
actually need an eyepatch.
224
00:08:35,643 --> 00:08:37,044
He just wears one to look cool.
225
00:08:37,145 --> 00:08:40,314
I know. I'm disappointed, too.
226
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:48,432
How was the double date with your mom?
227
00:08:48,533 --> 00:08:50,234
Oh, uh, the guy was very charming.
228
00:08:50,335 --> 00:08:52,703
Oscar is obsessed with his sauce.
229
00:08:52,804 --> 00:08:54,872
I will never say that out loud again.
230
00:08:54,973 --> 00:08:56,240
And apparently,
231
00:08:56,341 --> 00:08:58,942
my mother has lived a whole secret life.
232
00:08:59,044 --> 00:09:00,411
Ooh, was she a spy?
233
00:09:00,512 --> 00:09:02,946
She has the cold indifference of a spy.
234
00:09:03,048 --> 00:09:04,515
She does speak a little Russian.
235
00:09:04,616 --> 00:09:06,050
And she can knock back a handle of vodka
236
00:09:06,151 --> 00:09:07,684
faster than a college student.
237
00:09:07,786 --> 00:09:08,886
Who knows.
238
00:09:08,987 --> 00:09:10,220
You could be right.
239
00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:11,588
Turns out I know very little about her.
240
00:09:11,689 --> 00:09:13,490
I had no idea she lived in New York.
241
00:09:13,591 --> 00:09:16,827
Yeah, that's when she
studied with Bob Fosse.
242
00:09:16,928 --> 00:09:22,066
- What?
- You know: "Hoom, hoom, jazz."
243
00:09:23,501 --> 00:09:25,235
I didn't even know she was a dancer.
244
00:09:25,336 --> 00:09:27,037
Oh, she stopped after she
broke her ankle at Woodstock.
245
00:09:27,138 --> 00:09:28,772
What... She was at Woodstock?
246
00:09:28,873 --> 00:09:31,975
Yeah, she hitchhiked there.
800 miles in a horse trailer.
247
00:09:32,077 --> 00:09:34,611
How do you guys know all of this?
248
00:09:34,712 --> 00:09:36,547
I have a standing coffee date with her.
249
00:09:36,648 --> 00:09:38,649
She comes in for a
drink sometimes. We chat.
250
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,751
I always ask my elders
questions about their lives.
251
00:09:40,852 --> 00:09:42,586
They're our living history.
252
00:09:42,687 --> 00:09:44,988
What else don't I know? Is she Banksy?
253
00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:47,324
Was she on the grassy knoll?
254
00:09:47,425 --> 00:09:49,760
No, but she did spend a
weekend at the Kennedy Compound.
255
00:09:49,861 --> 00:09:54,331
She said nothing wild happened,
but come on, it's the Kennedys.
256
00:09:54,432 --> 00:09:56,867
Do you know this kind
of stuff about your mom?
257
00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:58,602
Oh, yeah, everything. I mean,
258
00:09:58,703 --> 00:10:00,637
since it's just the two
of us, we're really close.
259
00:10:00,738 --> 00:10:03,607
Like, she's my mom,
but we're also friends.
260
00:10:03,708 --> 00:10:05,409
You know? Like the Gilmore Girls.
261
00:10:05,510 --> 00:10:09,146
Seriously, man, I never understand you.
262
00:10:09,247 --> 00:10:11,515
I know too much about my mama.
263
00:10:11,616 --> 00:10:15,619
That's what happens when you
have to sponge-bathe them.
264
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,421
You know, there are so
many things I wish I'd known
265
00:10:17,522 --> 00:10:19,690
about my dad before he died.
266
00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:21,592
Now I feel like I'm
making the same mistake
267
00:10:21,693 --> 00:10:23,227
with the parent who's still living.
268
00:10:23,328 --> 00:10:25,596
So ask her about herself.
269
00:10:25,697 --> 00:10:27,264
She'll love that.
270
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,700
Don't call her an elder to her face.
271
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:31,168
Well, that I know.
272
00:10:35,273 --> 00:10:37,774
Can you not shut a cabinet?
273
00:10:37,876 --> 00:10:39,176
Maybe I was doing inventory
274
00:10:39,277 --> 00:10:41,512
because someone keeps
stealing my cereal.
275
00:10:41,613 --> 00:10:43,347
Now what am I supposed to
do with this bowl of milk?
276
00:10:43,448 --> 00:10:44,848
Well, that's on you.
277
00:10:44,949 --> 00:10:47,551
What kind of a psychopath
pours the milk first?
278
00:10:51,856 --> 00:10:53,290
Phil, we got to figure this out.
279
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,992
I can't wait another six
months for that sauce,
280
00:10:55,093 --> 00:10:56,527
I got a hankering I can't shake.
281
00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:59,396
Does this one taste Cluck-tastic?
282
00:11:00,431 --> 00:11:02,432
Closer, but we're missing the tanginess.
283
00:11:02,534 --> 00:11:04,134
I love when you say
"we" when I'm the one
284
00:11:04,235 --> 00:11:05,769
doing most of the ding-dang work.
285
00:11:05,870 --> 00:11:09,773
Sorry, I get ugly when I'm
trying to solve a mystery.
286
00:11:09,874 --> 00:11:13,010
I almost stabbed Kat
during a game of Clue.
287
00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:16,046
Hey, is this dress too
much for dinner with my mom?
288
00:11:16,147 --> 00:11:17,581
How fancy is the restaurant?
289
00:11:17,682 --> 00:11:19,449
Oh, it's the same place
we went with Charles.
290
00:11:19,551 --> 00:11:21,318
I guess they carded
her, and in her words,
291
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,153
"I'd like to go back for more of that."
292
00:11:23,254 --> 00:11:24,955
It's perfect. You look beautiful.
293
00:11:25,056 --> 00:11:27,391
I'm kind of nervous. You know,
it's kind of like a blind date.
294
00:11:27,492 --> 00:11:29,826
I hope I like this Sheila.
295
00:11:29,928 --> 00:11:31,795
Oh, you're gonna love her. She's a hoot.
296
00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:33,430
It's kind of exciting.
It's like starting
297
00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:34,565
a whole new chapter of our relationship.
298
00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:36,133
Ooh, don't say "relationship"
299
00:11:36,234 --> 00:11:37,568
on a first date, you'll scare her off.
300
00:11:37,669 --> 00:11:39,469
And be a gentleman. Pull her chair out.
301
00:11:39,571 --> 00:11:41,038
Ooh, and bring mints
in case things go well
302
00:11:41,139 --> 00:11:42,472
and you get to smooching.
303
00:11:42,574 --> 00:11:44,174
Okay, this bit's gone far enough.
304
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,275
I felt that.
305
00:11:45,343 --> 00:11:48,879
Pickles. It was pickles.
306
00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:51,215
Phil, we cock-a-doodle-did it!
307
00:11:51,316 --> 00:11:53,917
Ah, there's that ding-dang "we" again.
308
00:11:56,354 --> 00:11:58,121
Mmm, mmm, it's so good.
309
00:11:58,223 --> 00:11:59,856
Oh, you want some bagpipes with that?
310
00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:05,762
Carter, Carter, come
in here and settle this.
311
00:12:05,863 --> 00:12:07,564
Ugh, so close.
312
00:12:07,665 --> 00:12:09,566
Hey. How's everyone doing?
313
00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:11,702
- She keeps eating all my junk food
- He won't stop with the bagpipes
314
00:12:11,803 --> 00:12:13,378
- and putting the boxes away empty.
- and he's been loud-talking
315
00:12:13,379 --> 00:12:14,439
- Who does that?
- all over my apartment.
316
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:15,606
Okay.
317
00:12:15,707 --> 00:12:18,075
Sounds like you both
have some valid concerns.
318
00:12:18,176 --> 00:12:19,843
And Carter agrees with me.
319
00:12:19,944 --> 00:12:22,346
He says that you talk too loud
and you suck at the bagpipes.
320
00:12:22,447 --> 00:12:23,780
Okay, yeah, that's not exactly what I...
321
00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:25,282
Well, he told me that
your podcasts are dumb
322
00:12:25,383 --> 00:12:26,416
and you might be a murderer.
323
00:12:26,517 --> 00:12:27,551
Okay...
324
00:12:27,652 --> 00:12:29,052
That was taken out of context.
325
00:12:29,153 --> 00:12:30,654
Well, what the hell was the context?
326
00:12:30,755 --> 00:12:32,189
Oh, hold on... I refuse
to get in trouble for this.
327
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:33,423
You keep putting me in the middle.
328
00:12:33,524 --> 00:12:34,758
How am I supposed to choose between
329
00:12:34,859 --> 00:12:36,293
my girlfriend and my best friend?
330
00:12:36,394 --> 00:12:38,795
You're both annoying.
331
00:12:38,896 --> 00:12:41,398
And I'm not coming back here
until you two work this out.
332
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,066
It's a lost cause, Carter.
333
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:46,203
Yeah, I'm never gonna get
along with Kilty McLoudass.
334
00:12:46,304 --> 00:12:49,673
Actually, you just gave me an idea.
335
00:12:53,444 --> 00:12:54,811
Now, this is the Get Along shirt.
336
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:56,713
Stephanie and I used
it in couples therapy
337
00:12:56,814 --> 00:12:58,164
and because of it, our
marriage lasted two years longer
338
00:12:58,182 --> 00:12:59,683
than it should have.
339
00:12:59,784 --> 00:13:01,051
Now, you two are gonna
wear it until you figure out
340
00:13:01,152 --> 00:13:02,819
how to get along.
341
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,789
We'll just take it off the
moment he walks out the door.
342
00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:07,524
Yeah, you do that, and
neither of you are getting any.
343
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:09,893
Sex for you and a paycheck for you.
344
00:13:12,363 --> 00:13:14,431
How did he hear me? I was whispering.
345
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,000
No, you were not.
346
00:13:24,558 --> 00:13:25,825
Okay, so your favorite movie
347
00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:27,527
is The Maltese Falcon, noted.
348
00:13:27,628 --> 00:13:28,661
What's your favorite novel?
349
00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:30,630
Lord of the Flies.
350
00:13:30,731 --> 00:13:33,233
It reminds me of my time
on the pageant circuit.
351
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,535
Interesting, I'll reread
it with that in mind.
352
00:13:35,636 --> 00:13:38,404
Uh, what about fears?
What's your biggest fear?
353
00:13:38,505 --> 00:13:40,006
I don't know.
354
00:13:40,107 --> 00:13:43,476
Spiders and the middle
seat on an airplane.
355
00:13:43,577 --> 00:13:45,044
Okay, here's a big one:
356
00:13:45,145 --> 00:13:46,613
What's one thing you would
change about your life
357
00:13:46,714 --> 00:13:49,682
- if you could?
- Agreeing to this dinner.
358
00:13:50,751 --> 00:13:53,486
I feel like you've spent the
whole time interrogating me.
359
00:13:53,587 --> 00:13:55,722
I'm not interrogating you.
360
00:13:55,823 --> 00:13:58,258
I'm just asking very pointed questions
361
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:01,294
to get information that you've
never disclosed to me before.
362
00:14:01,395 --> 00:14:05,131
Well, I'm exhausted, and
we're only on the first course.
363
00:14:05,232 --> 00:14:06,466
Where is this coming from?
364
00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:08,468
I'm worried you could die tomorrow
365
00:14:08,569 --> 00:14:10,336
and I'll never know
your natural hair color.
366
00:14:10,437 --> 00:14:12,939
That one I'm taking to the grave.
367
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,742
Which apparently is coming
sooner than I thought.
368
00:14:15,843 --> 00:14:17,844
I'm sorry. This is all coming out wrong.
369
00:14:17,945 --> 00:14:20,880
I'm trying to get to know you.
I thought this would be fun.
370
00:14:20,981 --> 00:14:23,650
Mm, yes, because being
reminded of my own mortality
371
00:14:23,751 --> 00:14:26,586
always puts me in a festive mood.
372
00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:29,422
Come on, everybody else
knows your history but me.
373
00:14:29,523 --> 00:14:30,990
I mean, were you the fifth Beatle?
374
00:14:31,091 --> 00:14:33,526
Are you a spy? Some people
think you might be a spy.
375
00:14:33,627 --> 00:14:35,128
Oh, honey, now you're being ridiculous.
376
00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:38,031
Fine, I just, I won't
ask any more questions.
377
00:14:38,132 --> 00:14:40,066
Fine.
378
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:41,467
Don't slurp, Katharine.
379
00:14:41,568 --> 00:14:43,469
I-I'm just enjoying my soup, Mother.
380
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,738
Does the whole restaurant
need to know that?
381
00:14:45,839 --> 00:14:47,507
This is why we'll never
be the Gilmore Girls.
382
00:14:47,608 --> 00:14:50,610
You'd rather criticize
who I am than talk to me.
383
00:14:50,711 --> 00:14:52,211
Good Lord, you act like slurping soup
384
00:14:52,313 --> 00:14:54,580
is an inherent part of your personality.
385
00:14:54,682 --> 00:14:56,082
Maybe it is.
386
00:14:56,183 --> 00:14:58,184
Hi, I'm Tom, I'll be
taking over for Sarah.
387
00:14:58,285 --> 00:14:59,352
How's everything so far?
388
00:14:59,453 --> 00:15:01,254
Great, Tom.
389
00:15:02,089 --> 00:15:03,990
Could I please get a gin martini?
390
00:15:04,091 --> 00:15:05,224
Of course.
391
00:15:05,326 --> 00:15:06,492
Uh, did you need to see my ID?
392
00:15:06,593 --> 00:15:07,927
No.
393
00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:12,598
I liked Sarah better.
394
00:15:14,234 --> 00:15:15,468
Do you think he's gone?
395
00:15:15,569 --> 00:15:17,637
Maybe he's standing outside the door.
396
00:15:20,107 --> 00:15:21,107
Ow!
397
00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:22,375
I'll do it.
398
00:15:22,476 --> 00:15:23,910
I just got to get my eye to the hole.
399
00:15:24,011 --> 00:15:26,212
Don't mansplain peepholes to me.
400
00:15:26,313 --> 00:15:27,914
He's gone. All right,
I'm taking this off.
401
00:15:28,015 --> 00:15:29,682
What-what, and messing up my hair?
402
00:15:29,783 --> 00:15:32,719
- Absolutely not. We are cutting this off.
- Okay.
403
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,954
Wait, w... Where are you going?
404
00:15:35,055 --> 00:15:36,823
- To get the scissors.
- No, but they're in the kitchen.
405
00:15:36,924 --> 00:15:37,990
No, they're in the couch.
406
00:15:38,092 --> 00:15:39,926
- Wait, why?
- I was trimming.
407
00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:41,694
What-what were you... Oh, never mind,
408
00:15:41,795 --> 00:15:43,496
I don't even want to know.
409
00:15:49,002 --> 00:15:50,937
Goodness, get it...
410
00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:54,040
Who does Carter think he
is, putting us on a time-out?
411
00:15:54,141 --> 00:15:56,142
I know, right? Like he's so great.
412
00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:57,844
Maybe he should look in the mirror.
413
00:15:57,945 --> 00:16:00,246
Which he does all the time.
414
00:16:00,347 --> 00:16:03,082
And it's not just mirrors,
it's any reflective surface.
415
00:16:03,183 --> 00:16:07,120
Glass, spoon, puddle of
water, puddle of beer.
416
00:16:07,221 --> 00:16:08,521
He's really into puddles.
417
00:16:08,622 --> 00:16:10,189
Hey, you ever notice
418
00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:12,058
that when Carter drinks soda
water, that he swishes it
419
00:16:12,159 --> 00:16:13,826
around in his mouth
before he swallows it?
420
00:16:13,927 --> 00:16:15,762
Yes. I've asked him about that,
421
00:16:15,863 --> 00:16:17,463
and he said it's to get the bubbles out.
422
00:16:17,564 --> 00:16:20,233
Then why not just drink regular water?
423
00:16:22,302 --> 00:16:24,270
Look,
424
00:16:24,371 --> 00:16:27,540
I've only ever lived with
women who were charmed by me.
425
00:16:27,641 --> 00:16:29,342
My mom thought my quirks were cute,
426
00:16:29,443 --> 00:16:32,779
and Brigitte would forgive
them if we showered together.
427
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,816
You know, this is all new to me.
428
00:16:36,917 --> 00:16:38,985
It's not just on you.
429
00:16:39,086 --> 00:16:40,620
I really wanted to live alone,
430
00:16:40,721 --> 00:16:43,156
so, I think even if you were perfect,
431
00:16:43,257 --> 00:16:45,458
I'd still find stuff to complain about.
432
00:16:45,559 --> 00:16:47,660
Well, that explains why
you were being so harsh
433
00:16:47,761 --> 00:16:49,695
- about my bagpipes.
- Oh, no, no, no.
434
00:16:49,797 --> 00:16:52,565
That was a perfectly
appropriate reaction.
435
00:16:55,102 --> 00:16:56,669
I guess this is gonna
be a bigger adjustment
436
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:58,404
than we both thought.
437
00:16:58,505 --> 00:17:01,541
I'm willing to meet you halfway.
438
00:17:01,642 --> 00:17:03,009
Me too.
439
00:17:03,110 --> 00:17:05,211
You know what? I promise, from now on,
440
00:17:05,312 --> 00:17:07,280
I will leave you half of your cookies.
441
00:17:07,381 --> 00:17:10,817
- And I will close half of your cabinets.
- Deal.
442
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:13,019
- Should we toast to it?
- Yeah, I'll grab some beers.
443
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,121
Oh, I got it.
444
00:17:15,222 --> 00:17:17,290
Wh... Why did you...
445
00:17:17,391 --> 00:17:19,892
You know what? Who cares.
You got some chips in here?
446
00:17:21,728 --> 00:17:23,696
Hey, why are you slowing down?
447
00:17:23,797 --> 00:17:26,399
You usually take stop
signs as a suggestion.
448
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,534
I want to show you something.
449
00:17:28,635 --> 00:17:30,069
You see that house?
450
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:32,972
That's where my high
school boyfriend lived.
451
00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:35,975
I used to sneak out, scale that tree
452
00:17:36,076 --> 00:17:38,511
and climb in that
window just to see him.
453
00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:40,646
Bet Grandma didn't like that.
454
00:17:40,747 --> 00:17:43,349
Yeah, most of the time she
didn't even realize I was gone.
455
00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:45,451
Really?
456
00:17:45,552 --> 00:17:49,188
I used to do anything to
try to get her to notice me.
457
00:17:49,289 --> 00:17:52,024
Even winning all those pageants
didn't get her attention.
458
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:54,060
Is that why you got into them?
459
00:17:54,161 --> 00:17:55,495
At first.
460
00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:59,565
But I kept at it 'cause I
look damn good in a tiara.
461
00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:01,100
You really do.
462
00:18:01,201 --> 00:18:03,503
You definitely upstaged
me at my bat mitzvah.
463
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:04,704
Thank you.
464
00:18:04,805 --> 00:18:06,372
Look, the point is,
465
00:18:06,473 --> 00:18:09,308
my mom knew nothing about me.
466
00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:13,513
That's why I was happy to sit
back and listen to my daughter,
467
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:15,248
and not talk about myself.
468
00:18:15,349 --> 00:18:18,284
Well, you definitely
paid attention to me.
469
00:18:18,385 --> 00:18:20,219
Some might say hawk-like attention.
470
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,788
I might have overcorrected.
471
00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:24,323
Little bit.
472
00:18:24,424 --> 00:18:25,825
Being a mother is hard.
473
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:27,527
You'll see when you have your own child.
474
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:30,663
Which you should really
get a move on, Katharine.
475
00:18:30,764 --> 00:18:32,598
Modern medicine has its limits.
476
00:18:32,699 --> 00:18:34,433
Mother.
477
00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:35,902
Okay.
478
00:18:38,472 --> 00:18:41,274
Why don't we get dinner once a month?
479
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,142
Just us.
480
00:18:44,611 --> 00:18:46,479
I'd love that.
481
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:48,447
Me too.
482
00:18:51,184 --> 00:18:53,986
That's where my best
friend, Donna Simpson, lived.
483
00:18:54,087 --> 00:18:56,389
Oh, she was such a bitch.
484
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,910
Hey, now, this is what I like to see.
485
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,645
Yep, your Get Along shirt worked.
486
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,980
And I'm sorry we put you in
the middle. That was not cool.
487
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,783
Oh, it's okay, I'm just
happy I helped you two bond.
488
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:14,753
Sure did.
489
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,827
Doesn't it taste exactly the
same as Sergeant McCluck's?
490
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,762
Some would say even better.
491
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,064
It does taste exactly the same.
492
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,766
Hey, ooh.
493
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:29,501
You've been served.
494
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,336
A cease and desist letter?
495
00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:32,737
Dang, I knew we shouldn't
have bragged about
496
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,306
our copycat recipe online.
497
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:38,076
And I thought TikTok was a safe space.
498
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,980
This is me at Woodstock.
499
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,883
Oh, I forgot how good
I look in bell-bottoms.
500
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:46,952
You're not wearing a shirt.
501
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,155
Sweetheart, with boobs
like that, why would I?
502
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:53,458
What... what is this?
503
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:54,826
The remains of my wedding dress.
504
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,595
What happened to it?
505
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,931
Your father ripped it off me
before the rice hit the ground.
506
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,367
Okay, little TMI.
507
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,135
Well, what do you expect?
We waited till marriage,
508
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,204
so he was like a wild animal...
509
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,874
Okay, no more Sheila, go
back to Mom, go back to Mom.
510
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,881
? I don't want to know this ending ?
511
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,416
? Doesn't matter anyway ?
512
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:25,090
? I can get a little bit crazy ?
513
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,925
? I can be a little too hot ?
514
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:29,094
? Time to bust out, baby ?
515
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,562
? Even if we go too far ?
516
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,364
? I'm moving on ?
517
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,733
? And on and on and on
and on and on and on ?
518
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:39,337
- ? Let's go ?
- ? On, on, on and on and on and on. ?
519
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:44,338
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
38745
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.