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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,840 And welcome to Play of the Week, where each week a new play 2 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,000 is performed live in front of a studio audience 3 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,200 and broadcast to the nation. 4 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,640 I am Robert Grove, the director. 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:26,040 Now, last Christmas we presented The Nativity Story, which received 6 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,680 so many complaints I was able to launch a successful coup 7 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:35,960 and dislodge our previous director Chris Bean from his post. 8 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,640 In fact that reminds me, Chris... 9 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:41,400 ..here are the rewites. 10 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,440 Chris Bean, everyone. 11 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:48,640 I know, I know. 12 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,480 Now, when Chris directed our productions they did 13 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,040 sometimes contain errors, in fact the opening 14 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:59,120 scene of the Nativity contained 27 mistakes alone. 15 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,240 But for tonight's epic family saga I can confidently announce 16 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,200 there will be no more errors, no mishaps. 17 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,840 Tonight everything will be "perfrect". 18 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,000 "Perfrect?" 19 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,920 Perfect. 20 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,280 Sorry, that was an error, there'll be no more errors. 21 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:14,600 That didn't happen. 22 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,760 Reset your minds, we'll go again. 23 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,720 Tonight everything will be perfect. 24 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,360 The actors are prepared, the stage is set. 25 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:30,320 Please enjoy: Summer Once Again. 26 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:40,920 Where the table? 27 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:48,000 Oh, I feel I have lived through this moment so many times before. 28 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,080 So often have I dreamt of Roger's return to Northwood Manor. 29 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,560 They say war changes a man, sister. 30 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,480 Do you think I will recognise him, Edward? 31 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,760 He's Roger. 32 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,680 Of course you'll recognise your son. 33 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:06,280 For years you have hoped he will come home hard. 34 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,280 Hoped hard he will come home. 35 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,440 Hard. 36 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,800 Stop saying hard. 37 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,720 You are a pure and pious man, brother. 38 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,360 Jacob, hurry along, make sure there's enough wood on the fire. 39 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,320 Yes, ma'am! 40 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:28,640 Careful not to work the boy too... 41 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:33,000 Hard. Nonsense. 42 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,920 We need all the wood we can get. 43 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,840 Oh, there's hardly any heat coming off this at all! 44 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,400 Let me check to see if the cake is ready. 45 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,200 Mrs Wimblegate! 46 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,760 Ooh! 47 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,400 We are almost ready, ma'am. 48 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,600 Margaret! 49 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,880 Yes, ma'am. 50 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,040 Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl. 51 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,160 Sorry, Mrs Wimblegate. 52 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,320 Lemme help you, Miss Margaret. 53 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:00,880 You do look a picture today. 54 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:05,720 Thank you. 55 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,560 Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival. 56 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:16,440 Cough! 57 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,320 Oh, don't say coughs, just cough! 58 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,840 Your goulashes. 59 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:25,440 Thank you. 60 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,320 Now, Dr Smith insists you eat every mouthful of your food brother. 61 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,240 This beef is as tough as old boots! 62 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:31,280 CAR HORN SOUNDS. 63 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,480 Oh, it must be Roger! 64 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,200 Already? 65 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:38,280 And here's me with my hair all a mess. 66 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,440 Mrs Wimblegate, where are my rain boots? 67 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,080 Your galoshes. 68 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,960 Thank you. 69 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:49,240 Oh, Roger and I will want to take a walk around the grounds. 70 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,880 It's just like we used to. 71 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,120 CAR HORN SOUNDS. 72 00:03:55,120 --> 00:04:02,080 Roger! 73 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:11,120 Mother, I have returned! 74 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,680 Bravo! 75 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,760 Hey. 76 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:20,600 You were a boy when you left, but now I see a man before me. 77 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,400 It's good to see you, Mother. 78 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,720 I've missed you all so very much. 79 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,000 Except for that manure boy. 80 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,440 Aah, there he is! 81 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,000 I'm sorry about my appearance, sir. 82 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,920 Yes, well, it is foul. 83 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:37,440 Take my bag inside, you peasant. 84 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,200 Welcome back, young sir. 85 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,040 I heard tales of your great skill. 86 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,520 You are revolting. 87 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,680 Well, if that's all sir, I must be going. 88 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,720 This manure won't eat itself. 89 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,240 Be gone. 90 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:54,600 There, all finished. 91 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,800 Salutations Uncle. 92 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,120 Aah! 93 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,160 My favourite nephew. 94 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,880 But how pale you look! 95 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:06,320 He fell yesterday walking Monty. 96 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,600 Aah, hello Monty! 97 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:15,480 He needs a second helping to get his strength up. 98 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,760 The cake, ma'am. 99 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,840 Sit, Roger, we must celebrate your safe return. 100 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,920 Thank you, Mother. 101 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,640 Oh, Mrs Wimblegate, this looks exquisite. 102 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,920 There, second helping finished. 103 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,400 Now no more. 104 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,040 You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake. 105 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,960 Well, I do love cake. 106 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,800 Open wide! 107 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:39,880 Aah... 108 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,320 Mm... 109 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,000 Mother, tell me, where is my fiancee? 110 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:50,080 Where is... 111 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,520 Susan. 112 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,520 I was pausing. 113 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,760 Where's Susan? 114 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,320 Susan? 115 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,480 Edward, will you give us a reading from the Bible? 116 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,560 "Summer Once Again. 117 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:08,200 "Robert Grove rehearsal diary - the cast are terrible..." 118 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,920 Forever and ever. 119 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:16,800 Amen. 120 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,360 Mother, I will not be distracted! 121 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,560 Where is Susan? 122 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,240 Oh, Roger. 123 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:30,200 I think you'd better speak to Dr Smith. 124 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:32,560 For God's sake! 125 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,760 That's 28 mistakes. 126 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,120 Right... 127 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,160 WHISTLE. 128 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,200 We'll go again. 129 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,640 What? 130 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:39,680 Go again! 131 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,280 From the top? 132 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:42,480 Yep, none of that happened. 133 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:43,520 Yes, it did. 134 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,560 Nope, reset. 135 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,600 We can't go back! 136 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:46,840 I'm the director! 137 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,080 We'll go again. 138 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,200 That's ridiculous! 139 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,240 Reset the car! 140 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,440 My apologies, ladies and gentlemen... 141 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,640 It's not a real car! 142 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,520 My apologies, ladies and gentlemen, but I'm sure you'll all agree that 143 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:56,560 scene was not perfect. 144 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,600 Particularly Chris's performance. 145 00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,760 So we're going to go back from the top. 146 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,920 Although we will have to get a move on. 147 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:02,960 Is everyone ready? 148 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,000 "Prefrect." 149 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,040 Perfect. 150 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,080 The stage is set. 151 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:07,200 The actors are "preprared". 152 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,920 Prepared. 153 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,600 Sorry, I'm under a lot of "pessure". 154 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,080 Pressure. 155 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,920 Please enjoy, Summer Once Again... 156 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,440 Again. 157 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:22,360 WHISTLE. 158 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:29,680 Where are the actors?! 159 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:36,000 I feel I have lived through this moment so many times before. 160 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,920 So often have I dreamt of Roger's return to Northwood Manor. 161 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,600 They say war changes a man, sister. 162 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:44,080 Do you think I will recognise him, Edward? 163 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,280 He's Roger, of course you'll recognise your son. 164 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:51,480 For years you have hoped... 165 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:52,760 Hard. 166 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:57,320 He will come home hard. 167 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,120 You are a pure and pious man, brother. 168 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,880 Jacob, hurry along, make sure there's enough wood for the fire. 169 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:08,920 Yes, ma'am. 170 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,840 Careful not to get the boy too hard. 171 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,400 Nonsense! 172 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,600 We need all the wood we can get, there's hardly any heat 173 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,640 coming off this at all. 174 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:21,680 Argh... 175 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,200 That's hot! 176 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:29,360 I'll just check to see if the cake is ready. 177 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,280 Mrs Wimblegate! 178 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,760 We're almost ready, ma'am. 179 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,960 Margaret! 180 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,320 Yes, ma'am! 181 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,440 Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl. 182 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,560 Sorry, Mrs Wimblegate. 183 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,440 Lemme help you, Miss Margaret. 184 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,560 No, no... 185 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,440 Argh! 186 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:48,800 Oh, oh, oh, oh... 187 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:54,120 Argh! 188 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,240 You do look a picture today. 189 00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:04,160 Thank you. 190 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:18,240 Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival. 191 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,120 Don't say coughs this time! 192 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:26,160 Agh! 193 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:28,400 Your goulashes. 194 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,440 Thank you. 195 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,120 Now, Dr Smith insists you eat every mouthful of your food, brother. 196 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,160 This beef is as tough as old boots. 197 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,360 CAR HORN. 198 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,920 GASPS. 199 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,760 Oh, it must be Roger! 200 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,720 Already, and here's me with my hair all a mess. 201 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,920 Mrs Wimblegate, where are my rain boots? 202 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:52,800 Your galoshes. 203 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,360 Thank you. 204 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,640 Roger and I will... 205 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,480 ..will want to walk... 206 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:06,560 STRAINED: ..want to take a walk around the grounds. 207 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:14,520 Just like we used to... 208 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,640 STRAINED: Roger! 209 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:37,640 Mother, I have returned! 210 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,040 Bravo! 211 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,640 Thank you. 212 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,040 You were a boy when you left, but now I... 213 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,720 now... 214 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,560 Ooh... 215 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,760 Now I see a man before me. 216 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,440 It's good to see you, Mother. 217 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,080 I've missed you all so very much, except for that ugly, 218 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,320 destitute and syphilitic manure boy. 219 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,080 Aah, there he is. 220 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,320 I am sorry about my appearance... 221 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,160 and smell. 222 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,440 And? 223 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:12,120 Small manhood. 224 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,160 Which? 225 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:19,320 I oft expose in the town. 226 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,040 Yeah! 227 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,440 So you should be. Take my bag inside, you peasant. 228 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,480 Welcome back, young sir. 229 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,080 I... 230 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,320 Ah manure boy, you're so weak. 231 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,920 What have you put in there? 232 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,640 Nothing. You're just weak. 233 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,800 Well, if that's all sir I must be going. 234 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,200 This manure won't eat itself. 235 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,200 Before you go, do tell me one more thing. 236 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,840 I have a bowel condition. 237 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:48,440 Yes, you do, probably from eating all that manure. 238 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,480 Be gone. 239 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,160 That scene is really working now. 240 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,040 Salutations, Uncle. 241 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,600 Ah, my favourite nephew. 242 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,000 But how pale you look! 243 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,560 He fell yesterday walking Monty. 244 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:04,520 Aah, hello Monty. 245 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:12,480 He needs a second helping to help get his strength up. 246 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,720 Whoa... 247 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,800 The cake, ma'am. 248 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,120 Come, sit Roger, we must celebrate your safe return. 249 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,840 Thank you, Mother. 250 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,640 Oh, Mrs Wimblegate this looks exquisite. 251 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,000 Ma'am. 252 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,080 There, second helping finished. 253 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,760 Now no more! 254 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:39,880 You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake. 255 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,160 Well, I do love cake. 256 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,360 Open wide! 257 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,280 Aaah... 258 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,960 Mm... 259 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:48,640 Mother tell me, where is my fiancee? 260 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:56,160 Where is... 261 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:57,920 Sorry, is it my line? 262 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:58,960 No, I'm pausing! 263 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:00,000 I'm pau... 264 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,040 Where's Susan? 265 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,040 Susan... 266 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,720 Edward, will you give us a reading? 267 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,720 Ahem... 268 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,240 "Rehearsals day seven. 269 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,360 The play is not improving. 270 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:16,280 Maybe mother was right, maybe I am all talk and no trousers." 271 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,800 Forever and ever. 272 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:18,960 Amen. 273 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,320 All right, stop there! 274 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,720 And again from the top. 275 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,800 WHISTLE. 276 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,920 No, no, we'll go again! 277 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,160 I'm so sorry, ladies and gentlemen. 278 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,160 None of that happened. 279 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,320 Reset your minds and please enjoy Summer Once Again. 280 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,360 Again. 281 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,360 Again. 282 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:42,840 BLOWS WHISTLE. 283 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,080 Oh, for goodness' sake! 284 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:52,360 WHISTLE 285 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:56,800 I feel I have lived through this moment so many times before. 286 00:13:56,800 --> 00:14:01,360 So often have I dreamt of Roger's return to Northwood Manor. 287 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,960 They say war changes a man, sister. 288 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:12,920 Do you think I'll recognise him, Edward? 289 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,080 He's recognise of course you'll Roger your son. 290 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,480 For years you have hoped hard he will come home... 291 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,520 Not hard. 292 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,400 You are a pure and pious man, brother. 293 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,440 CAR HORN 294 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,480 Three pages early! 295 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,120 Jacob, hurry along, make sure there's enough wood on the fire. 296 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,280 Yes ma'am. 297 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:33,120 AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS 298 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,040 Careful not to work the work too work. 299 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,080 ROBERT'S WHISTLE. 300 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,000 Careful not to hard the work too hard. 301 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,080 ROBERT'S WHISTLE. 302 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,240 Careful not to get the two workmen too hard. 303 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,360 Nonsense! 304 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,320 We need all the wood we can get. 305 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:48,240 There's hardly any heat... 306 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:53,560 ..coming off this at all. 307 00:14:53,560 --> 00:15:00,000 Argh... 308 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,600 I'll just, ah, check to see if the cake is ready. 309 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,120 Mrs Wimblegate! 310 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,160 We're almost ready, ma'am. 311 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,200 Margaret! 312 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,240 Ooh! 313 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,680 Yes ma'am! 314 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:14,120 Hurry and get that tea on the stove, girl. 315 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,800 Sorry, Mrs Wimblegate. 316 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:23,000 Let me help you, Miss Margaret. 317 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,400 You do look a picture today. 318 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:32,360 Thank you. 319 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:40,960 Argh! 320 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:46,680 Er... 321 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:54,640 Everything must be just so for Roger's arrival. 322 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,920 If you say "Coughs" this time, I'll hit you. 323 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,240 Ooh! 324 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,240 Your goulashes. 325 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:12,320 Thank you. 326 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:20,280 Now, Dr Smith insists you eat every mouthful of your food, brother. 327 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,800 This beef is tough as old boots. 328 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,840 CAR HORN 329 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,560 Oh, it must be Roger. 330 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:36,600 Already? 331 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:41,560 And here's me with my hair all a mess. 332 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,200 Mrs Wimblegate, where are my rain boots? 333 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,360 Your galoshes. 334 00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:54,320 Thank you. 335 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:04,480 Oh, I see what I've done. 336 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:13,280 Roger! 337 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:23,720 She 338 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:31,680 Ugh! 339 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:44,960 Mother! 340 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:48,440 I have returned... 341 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:49,480 Bravo! 342 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,520 Not yet! 343 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,560 Mother, I have returned... 344 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,280 RECORDING: Braaa...v..v..v..v..v..voooo! 345 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,320 Voooo! 346 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,360 Vooo... 347 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,400 Turn it off! 348 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,960 Argh! 349 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:06,920 Ugh! 350 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,040 You were a boy when you left, but now I... 351 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:18,320 ..see a man before me. 352 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:22,600 It's good to see you, Mother. 353 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,480 I've missed you all so very much, except for that manure boy. 354 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,520 Ah there he is. 355 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:27,960 Ah, there he is. 356 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,280 I am sorry about my appearance, sir. 357 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:36,080 Take my bag inside. 358 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:44,040 Argh! 359 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,600 Well, if that's all, sir, I must be going... 360 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,960 ..but it looks as though someone has beaten me to my supper this evening. 361 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,000 Be gone! 362 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,040 There, all finished. 363 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,680 Salutations, Uncle. 364 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:01,320 Ah, my favourite nephew! 365 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,840 But how pale you look. 366 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,240 He fell yesterday walking Monty. 367 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,960 Aah... 368 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,080 Hello, Mont... 369 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:17,040 He needs a second helping to get his strength up. 370 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:23,640 The cake, ma'am. 371 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,800 Come sit, Roger, we must celebrate your safe return. 372 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:33,760 Thank you, Mother. 373 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,640 Ah, Mrs Wimblegate. 374 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,680 This looks exquisite. 375 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,960 Ma'am... 376 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,520 Well, second helping finished. 377 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,760 Now no more. 378 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,520 You're not finished until you've had a big mouthful of cake. 379 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,720 Well, I do love cake. 380 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,720 Open wide! 381 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,000 Ugh... 382 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,080 Mother... 383 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,760 Mother, tell me, where is my fiancee? 384 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:08,640 Where is... 385 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:09,680 What was her name? 386 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,040 Susan! 387 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,120 Susan. 388 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,160 Forgettable name. 389 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,240 Susan. 390 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,320 Ah... 391 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:23,280 Edward, will you give us a reading? 392 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,080 "Lost my notebook. Making do with Dennis' prop Bible. 393 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,280 Heard back from Dench. Unavailable. 394 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,440 Annie remains. 395 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,200 Last night was a night to remember. 396 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:41,840 Another spanking from mother..." 397 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,440 Right, that was worse, but we have to move on - 398 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,600 we have six minutes to finish the whole play. 399 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,280 In all my years as a physician... 400 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,320 No! 401 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,400 No, no, no, no! 402 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,280 Cut the doctor - we don't have time. 403 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,720 Susan died while I was away. 404 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,760 Of typhoid. 405 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:55,800 That doesn't matter. 406 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:56,840 Close the house. 407 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:57,880 Scene three! 408 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:58,920 Morning Jacob... 409 00:20:58,920 --> 00:20:59,960 Oh morning, sir! 410 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,120 I have noticed since you have returned you carry 411 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,560 with you such a quiet dignity. 412 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,280 Grief makes solemn poets of us all. 413 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,120 Sir, would you like to while away an hour at the chess 414 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,320 board like we used to? 415 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,480 Thank you, young Jacob, that may ease my pain. 416 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,360 There is nothing more calming than an hour spent in the company 417 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:15,800 of these fine bishops and knights. 418 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,720 I have missed our games in your absence. 419 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:18,760 Good move, Jacob. 420 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,640 Ah, chess is a game when you must never rush your turn. 421 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,800 I shall ponder my repost at length while listening 422 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,240 to the birds in the orchard. 423 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,280 BIRD SOUNDS 424 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,320 Done. 425 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,480 You always did think strategically, always five moves ahead. 426 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,880 Yet strategy comes naturally to you, Jacob, does it not? 427 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,800 Well, one must take whatever advantage is presented. 428 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,720 You have certainly taken advantage, have you not? 429 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,760 Bishop takes pawn. 430 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,200 What are you getting at sir? 431 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,640 Susan wrote to me of you. 432 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:40,720 Bishop takes knight. 433 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:44,040 Well, the truth is she fell ill while you were away at the front. 434 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,680 I gave her comfort in your absence as any man would. 435 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,120 And, yes, we grew close, check. 436 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:49,160 Block. 437 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,760 And dare I say we fell in love, but who are you to pass judgment. 438 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,680 You never loved her as I could, Roger. 439 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:55,760 Checkmate. 440 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:56,760 The days grow longer. 441 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,200 It's as if the world has ground to a halt. 442 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,760 Well, it must make the days more exciting to have a man love you so? 443 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:03,800 Love me? 444 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,720 Oh, yes, I've seen the long lingering looks 445 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:06,760 Master Jacob gives you. 446 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:07,960 Mrs Wimblegate would not approve. 447 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,600 One cannot live one's life scared of what others may think. 448 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,760 Come, play us something soothing and gentle for these 449 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:13,800 endless afternoons. 450 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:14,840 FAST TUNE 451 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:15,880 Thank you! 452 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:16,920 I made you this. 453 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,080 Do you feel that chill in the wind, ma'am? 454 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,120 Oh, yes. 455 00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:21,160 Summer is drifting away. 456 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,360 Soon it will be Autumn. 457 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:23,400 Oh! 458 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,840 It's time for the harvest celebration. 459 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:32,800 AUDIENCE CHEERS and APPLAUDS 460 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,960 AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS 461 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,640 Mrs Wimblegate, please bring me another blanket. 462 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:47,520 When will my nephew return from the war? 463 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,880 I'm back, Uncle, do you not remember? 464 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:50,920 Oh, yes, of course. 465 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:51,960 Silly me. 466 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,000 He is growing weak. 467 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,040 Eat your supper. 468 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,080 And plenty of water. 469 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,000 The doctor says he won't survive the night. 470 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,040 OWL HOOTS 471 00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,120 COCKERILL SOUNDS. 472 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:02,960 He lives another day! 473 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,320 I say you are fit and strong, Uncle, never mind what the doctor says. 474 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,920 Listen to ten of his breaths and tell me if you hear a single falter. 475 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:10,960 HEAVY BREATHING 476 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,640 A man of sound body and mind. 477 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:13,680 Coughs! 478 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:14,720 Ugh! 479 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,760 Fetch the Doctor. 480 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:16,960 There's no time, get out. 481 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,160 Please, bring Monty to me. 482 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,560 I want one more time to feel his tiny little... 483 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,600 What are you doing? 484 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:22,640 Pause. 485 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,840 No, brother, don't leave me. 486 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,280 Please, Margaret, read me a Psalm. 487 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,320 Of course. 488 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,200 FASTER AND FASTER: The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want. 489 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:32,080 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me 490 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,120 beside the still waters. 491 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,000 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness 492 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,040 for his name's sake. 493 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,920 Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 494 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,280 I will fear no evil: for thou art with me: thy rod and thy 495 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,320 staff they comfort me. 496 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,200 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: 497 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,320 surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: 498 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,960 I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. 499 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,000 Amen. 500 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,040 Amen! 501 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,080 AUDIENCE APPLAUDS 502 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,120 Ugh... 503 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,160 Good. 504 00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,200 He's dead. 505 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,240 Winter. 506 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,280 Manure boy... 507 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,320 Argh! 508 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,360 Manure boy... 509 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,400 Morning. 510 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,280 Over these months since my Uncle died you have seemed somewhat quiet. 511 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,480 Well, my bowel has decayed. 512 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:09,520 Of course it has. 513 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:12,160 And I had come to care so deeply for your Uncle. 514 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,560 Manure boy, you look so thin, so pale, so ghoulish. 515 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:15,600 Not goulash! 516 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,480 Manure boy, you are so disgusting - I never asked your name. 517 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:19,520 What is it? 518 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:20,560 Gavroche. 519 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:21,600 Galosh? 520 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:22,640 Go away! 521 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,760 I feel closer to you now, perhaps we might share our grief together? 522 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,400 Right, now there's this whole long scene where we discuss our 523 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,800 predicaments and after many years of feeling animosity, we realise 524 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:32,000 that actually we're very similar. 525 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,640 Then, Gavroche dies of typhoid and that's the end of that. 526 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,680 Scene five! 527 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:36,880 Roger, have you seen the... 528 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,920 No time. 529 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:41,280 Margaret and I realise we're reading the same book and we meet for dinner 530 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,480 by the lake in secret. 531 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,520 That happens, dinner finishes. 532 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,920 There's a love scene which we pre-recorded - play that! 533 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:46,960 Right, good. 534 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,640 Oh, my soul is wracked with shame. 535 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,080 This baby will have no future. 536 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:51,120 Because she's a peasant. 537 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,160 Baby. 538 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,200 Baby! Baby! 539 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,240 Baby! 540 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,280 Oh, look, it's beautiful. 541 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,480 You have your father's eyes. 542 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,400 This baby brings shame on to Northwood Manor! 543 00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,280 I decide I can't be with Margaret so I send her away. 544 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,320 Farewell, my love. 545 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,360 Yep. 546 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,040 I will write you every day. Fine. 547 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,440 Circumstance drives us apart but loves knows not the bounds 548 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,480 of class or creed... 549 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,520 All good. 550 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,920 Perhaps in another age, in another life, in another world 551 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:13,120 we could have been together. 552 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,160 Why not? 553 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:15,200 Many years pass. 554 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,600 Eventually the boy grows up, comes back to see me... 555 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,040 ..but there's no time for that. 556 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,080 We reconnect. 557 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,960 I give him ten shillings because he's poor, then we meet back 558 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,320 up every year but then one year he doesn't come and it turns out 559 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:27,760 it's because he's died of typhoid. 560 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,160 I feel remorse so I go on a religious pilgrimage 561 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,200 to Jerusalem that... 562 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:32,240 HOODED FIGURES CHANT 563 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,880 That's a really long sequence, where I meet a wise priest. 564 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,320 But there's no time for that. 565 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,200 That whole sequence was supposed to happen in front of this huge 566 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,600 tapestry of a Levantine pastoral scene which cost a fortune 567 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:42,800 so we will show that. 568 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:43,840 There it is. 569 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:49,480 Months of work there. 570 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,560 I receive a message saying my mother is ailing so I return home. 571 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,000 There's a sandstorm, which we'll skip. 572 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,040 I see my mother... 573 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,360 Keep her moving. 574 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,520 I think, all things considered, it's probably best that 575 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,080 we're not doing that. 576 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,400 I lose an eye in a duel with Jacob. 577 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,520 And then he finds out he has typhoid and he kills himself before 578 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,280 the typhoid kills him. 579 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:12,480 In rehearsal that was very moving. 580 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,320 Then Mrs Wimblegate who was really in love with Jacob all along 581 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,600 kills Monty the dog... 582 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:17,800 It made sense in context. 583 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:21,080 Something about loss. 584 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,560 The ghost of my uncle appears to me in a dream... 585 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,000 Though I'm gone I'm always hard. 586 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,040 That's not the line. 587 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,720 Mrs Wimblegate and I have an argument. 588 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:32,760 He's gone! 589 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,240 Your mother's estate is in ruin and now she's dead. 590 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:39,800 All of that. 591 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,440 And then as I start to succumb to my illness, I... 592 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,560 Oh, no, I forgot that, yes, there's a scene where you find out 593 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:46,760 I have typhoid as well. 594 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,920 That happens in the second scene, we skipped that. 595 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:49,960 So... 596 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,640 So imagine I was dying all along. 597 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,680 OK? 598 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,360 So all through that I was dying. 599 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:56,320 So there's a layer of subtext to it. 600 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,320 Quite, quite sad. 601 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,360 Erm, right... 602 00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:00,080 What's next? 603 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,280 Oh, yes, now it's Spring. 604 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:02,320 Jesus! 605 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,360 So that's spring. 606 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:04,400 OK, now... 607 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:05,440 That's the stove! 608 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:10,560 We'll put a wet cloth on that. 609 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,800 And as I die I say, "It will soon be Summer once again." 610 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:14,840 And that's, ah... 611 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:15,880 That's the end. 612 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:16,920 Yeah. 613 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:21,280 Right. 614 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,520 Now, because we've rushed there are quite a few minutes left. 615 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,640 Erm, does anyone have any questions? 616 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:29,680 No? 617 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,440 Anyone? 618 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:39,440 How many mistakes was that, Robert? 619 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,280 Tell you what, 620 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,920 we'll go back, we'll do the second scene with the doctor. 621 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:44,960 Open the house. 622 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,480 In all my years as a physician... 623 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,160 No, no, sorry, my watch is slow. 624 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:50,200 That is the end. 625 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:58,160 AUDIENCE LAUGHS & APPLAUDS 65073

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