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1
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,865
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:13,957
Did your brother say he was
joining us for lunch?
3
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,325
Yeah.
He said maybe.
4
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:23,234
- What is that?
- What?
5
00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:24,936
- What is going on?
- Do you feel that?
6
00:01:24,968 --> 00:01:26,204
I feel shaky.
7
00:01:48,424 --> 00:01:49,826
Headquarters.
8
00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:51,329
A what?
9
00:02:11,014 --> 00:02:12,049
Come in here.
10
00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:34,737
All right. How's that smoke?
Good? All right.
11
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:37,439
Here we go.
Full tight on the monster. Rolling.
12
00:02:37,473 --> 00:02:41,677
Is me being pulled in
only that much to the table, it's fine?
13
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:44,514
But the main thing is
we need to hide your body more.
14
00:02:53,723 --> 00:02:56,961
Wee Man! Whoa!
Wee Man!
15
00:03:03,366 --> 00:03:05,870
Fucking look!
Wee Man, right there!
16
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,515
Ow!
17
00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,026
Oh!
18
00:03:45,408 --> 00:03:46,978
There! Fire!
19
00:03:55,953 --> 00:03:57,187
What?
20
00:03:57,221 --> 00:03:58,222
Whoo!
21
00:04:02,491 --> 00:04:03,995
Fire this way!
22
00:04:09,432 --> 00:04:10,935
Fire! Shoot it!
23
00:05:18,802 --> 00:05:21,137
Oh... settle down, big fella.
24
00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:24,240
This is all just a big
misunderstanding.
25
00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:27,511
We can work this out
like pals.
26
00:05:27,545 --> 00:05:30,146
Settle! Settle! Set...
27
00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:51,935
Oh, no! Oh, no!
28
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:08,185
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville!
Welcome to Jackass!
29
00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:21,798
Hey. Steve-O, how does it
feel to be on set 20 years later?
30
00:06:22,731 --> 00:06:24,201
Man, it's uh...
31
00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:28,906
...it's pretty heavy, dude.
32
00:06:28,939 --> 00:06:32,641
You think about how the last movie
had, like, the credits,
33
00:06:32,675 --> 00:06:36,012
which showed us when we first
started and it was ten years later...
34
00:06:36,045 --> 00:06:38,882
- Yeah.
- And now it's another ten years.
35
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,451
I gotta say, I look great,
though.
36
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,584
You look 20 millions...
37
00:06:41,619 --> 00:06:43,620
Yeah.
38
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,288
That's how my dogs
jumped up on the...
39
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,925
The big one lays down and the
little one gets on top there.
40
00:06:48,358 --> 00:06:49,425
Lance.
41
00:06:53,564 --> 00:06:55,432
Oh, my God!
42
00:06:55,466 --> 00:06:59,235
Yeah!
Poopies! Poopies!
43
00:06:59,269 --> 00:07:00,971
That was really uncool.
44
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,773
Do you feel the vibration?
45
00:07:03,574 --> 00:07:05,776
- Wow!
- Oh, shit!
46
00:07:05,809 --> 00:07:08,512
Hi, I'm Preston Lacy.
This is a human ramp.
47
00:07:11,081 --> 00:07:13,483
That's Dave Gravette.
Come on, we gotta go.
48
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:14,651
Fuck, we gotta go.
49
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,718
Someone's being
a little dramatic.
50
00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:19,523
Come on.
Oh, my God, we gotta go.
51
00:07:19,557 --> 00:07:21,024
Here he goes.
52
00:07:21,057 --> 00:07:22,125
He's coming!
53
00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:24,228
- Here, watch this.
- There he is.
54
00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,329
Brace yourselves.
55
00:07:26,329 --> 00:07:28,432
Oh, my goodness!
56
00:07:33,803 --> 00:07:36,040
Oh, God!
You all right?
57
00:07:36,072 --> 00:07:37,240
Yeah!
58
00:07:37,942 --> 00:07:38,975
Wow!
59
00:07:39,009 --> 00:07:41,045
You're not filming
my bald spot are you?
60
00:07:41,077 --> 00:07:41,978
No, no, no.
61
00:07:42,012 --> 00:07:44,113
You all right?
62
00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:52,322
God damn it,
is that why you put that camera...?
63
00:07:56,826 --> 00:07:58,762
No more bald spot!
64
00:07:59,629 --> 00:08:01,331
All right, here we go!
65
00:08:05,336 --> 00:08:06,370
Oh!
66
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,670
Shit!
67
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,406
Oh, my...
Oh, what happened?
68
00:08:09,439 --> 00:08:13,043
Oh, man, fuck this.
I gotta just get up and walk this off.
69
00:08:16,447 --> 00:08:18,249
Yeah!
70
00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:21,384
Oh!
71
00:08:23,052 --> 00:08:24,187
Backfire!
72
00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:29,393
You look like
the Kool-Aid man.
73
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:33,663
It's time to introduce Zach Holmes
and say goodbye to the human ramp.
74
00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:35,065
Goodbye, human ramp!
75
00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,000
Oh, fuck!
76
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,436
We're gonna fuckin' die!
77
00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:40,471
Two, one...
78
00:08:43,307 --> 00:08:44,441
Whoa!
79
00:08:44,475 --> 00:08:46,476
Oh!
80
00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:47,745
- All right!
- Oh, my God.
81
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:48,846
Man falling.
82
00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:51,914
Holy shit! Yes! Fuck yes!
83
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,250
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God, yes!
84
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,318
I'm so glad I put this...
85
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:57,721
Oh!
86
00:08:59,822 --> 00:09:01,125
That was awesome.
87
00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:05,195
I don't think Preston's okay.
88
00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:07,798
Motherfucker!
89
00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:09,899
Oh, dude, my back.
That hurt so bad.
90
00:09:09,932 --> 00:09:11,501
Oh, my God.
91
00:09:11,534 --> 00:09:12,802
Well done, Preston.
92
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,607
All right,
my name's Johnny Knoxville.
93
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,043
Welcome to the dum dum game.
94
00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:20,977
Oh! I'm... I'm sorry, dude.
95
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:22,679
Are you fucking kidding me?
96
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:23,813
I...
97
00:09:23,846 --> 00:09:26,149
My hand
hit the button!
98
00:09:26,182 --> 00:09:28,251
Oh, my God!
99
00:09:28,284 --> 00:09:29,552
Oh!
100
00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,020
Is that...
101
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:32,056
Fuck!
102
00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:33,856
God!
103
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,259
Dick pain hurts.
104
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:38,495
All right,
let's play this game.
105
00:09:38,528 --> 00:09:43,200
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
welcome to the dum dum game.
106
00:09:43,232 --> 00:09:46,903
Our lucky contestants are going
to be answering trivia questions.
107
00:09:46,937 --> 00:09:49,173
All these questions are on
a fourth-grade level.
108
00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:52,009
If you get them right,
you're safe and in the clear,
109
00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:53,744
and if you get them wrong...
110
00:09:53,778 --> 00:09:55,479
Oh, boy!
111
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,748
Last man standing
is the winner.
112
00:09:57,782 --> 00:10:00,984
Okay, first question.
Poopies.
113
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,153
"Jenny has two plates
of 12 cookies.
114
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,823
Frank has four plates
of six cookies.
115
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,591
Who has more cookies?"
116
00:10:07,624 --> 00:10:08,692
Jen!
117
00:10:08,725 --> 00:10:10,727
Jesus Christ!
118
00:10:14,932 --> 00:10:16,633
I can't do math!
119
00:10:20,169 --> 00:10:23,941
I'll remember that on my next
question, Poopies.
120
00:10:23,974 --> 00:10:25,274
- I won't...
- Yeah, thanks, Johnny.
121
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,312
Dude!
122
00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:29,780
Okay, Ehren!
123
00:10:29,813 --> 00:10:32,883
Please spell the word
"dumbbell".
124
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:34,717
"Dumbbell".
125
00:10:34,753 --> 00:10:36,220
D-u-m-b...
126
00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:41,591
What is it?
127
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,327
D-u-m...
128
00:10:45,528 --> 00:10:47,230
b-e-l-l?
129
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,001
Oh, God!
130
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,105
Sorry, that was wrong.
131
00:10:56,139 --> 00:10:58,542
Don't be a dumbbell!
132
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:04,447
Poopies. Who played the piano on Elton
John's album Madman Across the Water?
133
00:11:07,717 --> 00:11:08,985
Um...
134
00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:11,488
What's his name?
135
00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:12,990
Elton.
136
00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:14,424
Elton John!
137
00:11:14,457 --> 00:11:16,794
Oh, that is correct!
138
00:11:16,827 --> 00:11:19,663
That is correct, Poopies.
139
00:11:19,696 --> 00:11:22,166
I didn't think
you were gonna get that one.
140
00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:23,966
At last,
see, you're doin' good!
141
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,269
- Yes!
- Way to go!
142
00:11:26,302 --> 00:11:27,136
Fuck, yeah.
143
00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:28,504
Wee Man, question:
144
00:11:28,538 --> 00:11:32,275
"What family of instruments
does the piano belong to?"
145
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:35,278
S...
146
00:11:38,581 --> 00:11:39,716
Strings.
147
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:40,884
It's a percussion instrument!
148
00:11:40,918 --> 00:11:42,519
I was gonna say that!
149
00:11:45,389 --> 00:11:47,557
I'm sorry, Wee Man,
but you're out.
150
00:11:47,591 --> 00:11:51,294
- All right. Good for me.
- Some integrity on that.
151
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:55,866
Poopies, if you get this next
question wrong Ehren, unfortunately, wins.
152
00:11:55,899 --> 00:12:00,136
"If a square is five inches
tall and five inches wide,
153
00:12:00,169 --> 00:12:02,272
what is the area?"
154
00:12:04,942 --> 00:12:08,445
Ten inches direct... around.
155
00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:10,681
I'm sorry, Poopies,
but that is wrong!
156
00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:21,759
Ehren, I'm sorry,
I hit the wrong button.
157
00:12:24,293 --> 00:12:26,429
But Poopies, that was wrong.
158
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,467
Fuck this shit.
I'm outta here! Fuck it!
159
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:35,438
- Ehren! Ehren is the winner!
- Ehren won!
160
00:12:35,471 --> 00:12:36,673
Yeah!
161
00:12:36,706 --> 00:12:38,341
Ehren is the winner!
162
00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,461
Oh, yes!
163
00:13:08,806 --> 00:13:10,541
Oh, my God.
164
00:13:10,573 --> 00:13:12,009
Yeah, that rang my bell!
165
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,311
I took a huge shit
in there too.
166
00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:17,014
- Oh, my...
- Whoo!
167
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:21,019
So today we're gonna bring the
cast into this room two at a time
168
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,419
because they think I'm doing
a rattlesnake stunt.
169
00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:27,390
But that's just a ruse to get them
in here so we can lock the door,
170
00:13:27,423 --> 00:13:30,159
turn out the lights,
and make their life a living hell.
171
00:13:30,192 --> 00:13:32,797
This is silence of the lambs.
172
00:13:33,898 --> 00:13:37,267
Dave England,
Ehren McGhehey...
173
00:13:37,301 --> 00:13:40,403
- We have Jules here. Are you excited?
- Jules, the snake guy.
174
00:13:40,437 --> 00:13:42,039
- I'm out. See you guys.
- Come on, Ehren!
175
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,274
You guys are just
peanut gallery for this.
176
00:13:44,307 --> 00:13:45,976
He's got a western
diamondback rattlesnake.
177
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:47,376
He's going to release it
on the ground.
178
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,880
Pontius is gonna take a cookie
and set in on its head.
179
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:53,918
And then, I'm going to try and
take the cookie off its head.
180
00:13:53,951 --> 00:13:57,788
This western diamondback
rattlesnake is very, very venomous.
181
00:13:57,822 --> 00:14:01,224
He will bite you if you get too close
to him and he will kill you, or try to.
182
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,293
- I'm not kidding.
- Well, let's look at it.
183
00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:07,798
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, shit!
184
00:14:08,832 --> 00:14:10,500
Oh, my God.
185
00:14:10,533 --> 00:14:11,903
Fuck this, man.
186
00:14:14,303 --> 00:14:15,672
Can you feel my heart?
187
00:14:16,807 --> 00:14:18,976
- Wow, dude!
- All right.
188
00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:20,812
It's going as fast
as that rattlesnake.
189
00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:22,947
- That's why I won't do this.
- I did your part.
190
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:25,082
I'm really scared for Johnny
right now.
191
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,149
All right. Let's put the snake
away and get these guys mic'd.
192
00:14:27,183 --> 00:14:28,284
It's time to do this.
193
00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:30,453
Big ass snake.
194
00:14:30,486 --> 00:14:31,923
Oh, I know.
195
00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:33,123
All right, switch the bucket.
196
00:14:33,155 --> 00:14:34,625
Let's get the snake
out of the room.
197
00:14:41,163 --> 00:14:42,599
Is there an "antidope" here?
198
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:45,335
It's getting Knoxville
for me.
199
00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:48,072
That's what it's called,
anti-venom, not "antidope".
200
00:14:48,105 --> 00:14:50,206
What's "antidope" mean?
I don't even know.
201
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,209
- Johnny Knoxville.
- They're coming in right now.
202
00:14:52,241 --> 00:14:53,275
All right. You guys ready?
203
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,846
What's "antidope"?
204
00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:56,813
That's like...
205
00:14:56,847 --> 00:14:57,948
Oh, my fucking God!
206
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,182
- No!
- No!
207
00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:02,754
- God damn!
- Oh, fuck you guys!
208
00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:05,221
How... why are we the only ones
in here now?
209
00:15:05,254 --> 00:15:06,758
I don't know, dude.
210
00:15:10,427 --> 00:15:12,328
- Doggone it!
- What?
211
00:15:12,361 --> 00:15:14,730
- Shit!
- Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville.
212
00:15:14,765 --> 00:15:16,432
Welcome to hell!
213
00:15:16,466 --> 00:15:18,936
Oh, fuck. Fucking
rattlesnake in here.
214
00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:21,171
Ehren, what are you doing?
Don't use me as a human shield!
215
00:15:21,738 --> 00:15:23,106
So if we get bit we die.
216
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:25,876
Are you serious?
217
00:15:25,909 --> 00:15:28,477
This is so fucked up!
I knew this was going to fucking happen.
218
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,379
Why the fuck did we go down
to the basement?
219
00:15:30,881 --> 00:15:32,249
Come on!
220
00:15:34,918 --> 00:15:36,953
Knox, what the fuck? Come on.
221
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,325
Come on!
222
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,894
What the fuck!
223
00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:45,562
Dude, what the hell?
224
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:47,663
- What the fuck! No, stop!
- I knew this was going to happen!
225
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:50,967
Stop! Stop! Oh!
Fuck, you guys, dude!
226
00:15:53,104 --> 00:15:54,437
P, where are you?
227
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,908
I'm gonna break
that fucking door down.
228
00:15:57,942 --> 00:15:58,942
Do it, Ehren.
229
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,479
Did they just...
230
00:16:02,511 --> 00:16:05,448
Fuck this shit!
Ah, fuck you guys!
231
00:16:07,751 --> 00:16:09,953
Fuck it, get the fuck
outta here!
232
00:16:09,986 --> 00:16:12,823
All right, now go for the
bucket and cue the snake sound.
233
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,625
Oh, shit!
234
00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:18,327
Ahh!
235
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,097
- Oh, oh, shit.
- Oh, my God!
236
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:22,231
It might...
Guys, stay on the couch.
237
00:16:22,264 --> 00:16:24,134
The fuckin' snake.
Stay still.
238
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:27,004
- Oh, my fucking God.
- Hey, guys, honestly, be fuckin' chill.
239
00:16:27,038 --> 00:16:31,307
- Holy shit.
- This is not cool, seriously, get me the fuck out of here.
240
00:16:31,775 --> 00:16:33,878
Oh, fuck off!
241
00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:35,378
There's the snake, Dave.
242
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:38,380
Where are you, Ehren?
Ehren? Ehren?
243
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,417
What the fuck! Ehren!
244
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,351
How am I supposed to
even help you, Dave?
245
00:16:42,384 --> 00:16:43,988
I just need to know
you're there.
246
00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:47,490
- Fuck this!
- Ehren!
247
00:16:47,524 --> 00:16:50,794
Oh, I got a weapon now, motherfuckers.
I got a weapon.
248
00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:52,897
- Don't hit me, Ehren. Ehren!
- No, I got a weapon!
249
00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,099
- Don't hit me!
- You fuckin'...
250
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,067
Ehren, don't fuckin'
not answer me.
251
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,400
They're knifin' me.
252
00:17:00,904 --> 00:17:03,440
Fuck, there's the door.
Dave over here!
253
00:17:03,472 --> 00:17:05,108
- Dave, this way!
- Yeah, right!
254
00:17:05,143 --> 00:17:06,476
- Dave, this way!
- Fuck that door.
255
00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:07,845
Fuck that. There's something
bad over there, probably!
256
00:17:07,878 --> 00:17:08,711
No, I promise!
257
00:17:08,744 --> 00:17:10,547
No,
you don't know shit!
258
00:17:10,579 --> 00:17:12,916
There's a door.
I just opened it. I swear to God!
259
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:15,352
Oh, wow, how convenient.
260
00:17:15,384 --> 00:17:17,621
Come this way, I swear to God,
I'm not lying to you.
261
00:17:17,653 --> 00:17:19,689
- Fuck that door.
- You're on your own then, fucker!
262
00:17:19,722 --> 00:17:21,992
Ahh, shit! Ahh!
263
00:17:25,896 --> 00:17:26,963
Ehren!
264
00:17:27,865 --> 00:17:31,701
What the fuck is going on?
265
00:17:31,734 --> 00:17:34,570
I can't even...
I can't even fucking do it.
266
00:17:34,604 --> 00:17:37,440
This is fucking scary.
Seriously, this is fucked up.
267
00:17:38,276 --> 00:17:40,010
This is not cool, dude.
268
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,512
Fuck! What the fuck! His head!
269
00:17:43,547 --> 00:17:45,883
- Oh, my God! Fuck! Oh, fuck.
- What?
270
00:17:45,916 --> 00:17:47,751
- Did I just get bit?
- Did you get bit?
271
00:17:47,785 --> 00:17:49,886
Dude, I got bit by something!
What the fuck was that?
272
00:17:49,921 --> 00:17:52,856
- Fuck! Jeff! He got fuckin' bit!
- No way!
273
00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:56,259
- Jeff, this is fuckin' unsafe.
- What the fuck, there's no lights!
274
00:17:56,294 --> 00:17:57,828
Oh, my God, dude,
this is so fucked up.
275
00:17:57,862 --> 00:17:59,963
You got snake bit.
We got to get you medical attention.
276
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:01,265
Here. come here.
277
00:18:01,298 --> 00:18:02,866
We got to get him
to the fucking medic.
278
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,801
I'm gonna have a
fuckin' heart attack, dude.
279
00:18:04,836 --> 00:18:07,872
Just, okay?
Just go straight.
280
00:18:07,904 --> 00:18:09,240
- Okay?
- Okay.
281
00:18:09,272 --> 00:18:12,375
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
282
00:18:12,409 --> 00:18:14,077
Motherfucker!
283
00:18:14,111 --> 00:18:16,948
Oh, I don't even know where my glasses are.
What the fuck!
284
00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:20,517
Oh, great! Fucking awesome!
285
00:18:24,321 --> 00:18:25,689
What the fuck is this?
286
00:18:26,623 --> 00:18:27,959
Ah!
287
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,928
Oh, holy shit!
288
00:18:31,828 --> 00:18:33,163
Motherfuckin...
289
00:18:36,398 --> 00:18:39,402
- Oh, my God!
- Ow! Fucking bitch!
290
00:18:42,173 --> 00:18:44,174
Lights on. Lights on.
Come on.
291
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:45,674
Zach, you all right?
292
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,177
- Holy shit...
- I cleared the fucking thing!
293
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:49,846
I heard Zach, it sounded like
he's getting murdered in here.
294
00:18:51,015 --> 00:18:53,116
I thought this was like
the only way to get out.
295
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,550
So I just climbed over it.
296
00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:55,920
And then, it broke.
297
00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,288
Let Ehren out.
298
00:18:58,322 --> 00:18:59,521
Let me out.
299
00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:09,267
- Can we go outside now?
- No, we're done, we're done. We're done.
300
00:19:09,299 --> 00:19:11,433
- No, we're not.
- God.
301
00:19:11,468 --> 00:19:13,737
The rest of my life I'm gonna
have nightmares, dude.
302
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:16,307
I wanna go now.
Open that fuckin' door.
303
00:19:16,339 --> 00:19:17,875
Go out that one.
This one is locked.
304
00:19:17,909 --> 00:19:18,976
No, fuck you!
305
00:19:20,111 --> 00:19:22,380
I'll start a new life in here.
306
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,048
I will start...
307
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,816
I will fuckin' live here.
308
00:19:30,519 --> 00:19:31,721
How does this look?
309
00:19:32,454 --> 00:19:34,523
It's fuckin'... lubed up.
310
00:19:34,557 --> 00:19:36,093
Are we sponsored by Glide?
311
00:19:36,126 --> 00:19:37,493
No. Not yet.
312
00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:38,930
Just say, "This is body
surfing", we don't need an intro.
313
00:19:38,962 --> 00:19:40,529
- Do you guys agree?
- I wanna say my name.
314
00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:41,999
- All right, say your name.
- This is Zach.
315
00:19:42,032 --> 00:19:44,500
I'm Jasper. And this is
bodysurfing, motherfucker.
316
00:19:46,903 --> 00:19:47,904
Fuck, fuck!
317
00:19:47,939 --> 00:19:50,807
No, no, no!
No, Jasper, no, no!
318
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,676
No! No!
319
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:56,680
- Bye-bye, Jasper!
- Oh, shit, he's hauling ass!
320
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:02,787
- That was great.
- The rocks hurt.
321
00:20:02,819 --> 00:20:05,990
I am Poopies.
Big time movie star.
322
00:20:07,557 --> 00:20:10,193
And today,
we're big wave surfing.
323
00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:19,002
Oh, he got knocked off.
324
00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,338
He has no arms.
325
00:20:21,372 --> 00:20:23,140
- Dude, you have no arms?
- Shit.
326
00:20:23,173 --> 00:20:24,342
Oh, that sucks.
327
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,143
And then came the
heartbreaking news
328
00:20:26,176 --> 00:20:28,311
that horses don't have arms.
329
00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:33,482
I am Eric Manaka,
and this is a horse race.
330
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:38,923
- Put your hat on and go, man.
- My eyes!
331
00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,624
Oh, God.
332
00:20:42,393 --> 00:20:44,260
Run, run.
333
00:20:44,295 --> 00:20:45,962
Oh, Jesus Christ.
334
00:20:48,631 --> 00:20:50,233
- This is perfect.
- Oh, God.
335
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:51,801
Oh! Eric, all back.
336
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,872
Is he okay?
He's not moving.
337
00:20:54,904 --> 00:20:56,973
Well, he can't.
His arms are trapped.
338
00:20:59,242 --> 00:21:00,277
That fucking hurt.
339
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,847
Two, one, go!
340
00:21:03,881 --> 00:21:05,348
We're going the wrong way.
341
00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:06,416
We're going the wrong...
342
00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:08,051
Oh, Jesus Christ.
343
00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:09,854
Oh, shit.
344
00:21:10,221 --> 00:21:12,654
Oh, my God.
345
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,057
Oh, he's nuts!
346
00:21:15,259 --> 00:21:16,726
Oh!
347
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:18,229
Oh, my God.
348
00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,133
- Holy shit!
- Dude!
349
00:21:22,165 --> 00:21:23,166
That's crazy.
350
00:21:28,838 --> 00:21:31,574
Oh, my God.
I'm not doing that again.
351
00:21:31,607 --> 00:21:33,943
This guy's one
badass dude right here.
352
00:21:33,978 --> 00:21:35,346
I love you, dude.
353
00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:37,448
That is sick.
354
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,250
You showed us how to surf.
355
00:21:40,984 --> 00:21:41,852
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
356
00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:43,586
Dude, I don't look
that good, man.
357
00:21:45,455 --> 00:21:48,224
Oh, shit.
358
00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:50,094
All right,
take off the lid.
359
00:21:50,126 --> 00:21:52,496
Tap that right
over the top of it.
360
00:21:52,529 --> 00:21:55,965
Ooh!
Ow! One got me already!
361
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,035
Ah, ah!
362
00:21:58,068 --> 00:22:01,038
Ow! Gosh damn!
363
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:03,007
Oh.
Here comes the queen.
364
00:22:03,039 --> 00:22:06,509
Oh, yeah.
Looking for her king.
365
00:22:06,544 --> 00:22:09,645
Jesus Christ, dude.
This is fucking wild.
366
00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:11,548
I was like, "Yeah, cool,
let's do this."
367
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:17,454
This little brown box
has the Queen Bee in it.
368
00:22:17,488 --> 00:22:20,458
Apparently,
she's pretty important.
369
00:22:20,490 --> 00:22:23,760
And that's going to attract the
other bees to the Queen, right?
370
00:22:23,794 --> 00:22:25,762
- Yes.
- Oh, boy.
371
00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:28,465
There's a lot of
bees, Steve-O.
372
00:22:28,499 --> 00:22:32,269
Just remember, don't pinch between
his balls and those bees, 'cause...
373
00:22:32,302 --> 00:22:33,903
he'll feel it real quickly.
374
00:22:33,938 --> 00:22:36,773
Dude, relax. Poopies relax, dog.
Relax, man.
375
00:22:36,807 --> 00:22:38,641
Poopies just got stung.
376
00:22:39,675 --> 00:22:41,743
Can we add all the bees
or is it better to go...
377
00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,847
You gotta kinda gently
put 'em up.
378
00:22:44,713 --> 00:22:45,982
Watch out. Move your
hands, Steve-O.
379
00:22:47,183 --> 00:22:48,219
Oh, shit.
380
00:22:48,251 --> 00:22:51,122
Ah. Aaaah! Ooooh!
381
00:22:51,154 --> 00:22:52,189
What? What?
382
00:22:52,222 --> 00:22:55,657
God, my fucking dick got one.
Oooooh!
383
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,760
Oooooh!
384
00:22:57,795 --> 00:23:01,164
Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.
385
00:23:01,198 --> 00:23:03,267
Put 'em right up there
on top of it.
386
00:23:06,136 --> 00:23:08,571
They're really
latching on now, Steve-O.
387
00:23:08,605 --> 00:23:09,940
It's working,
it's working.
388
00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:11,842
It's going good,
Steve-O.
389
00:23:13,510 --> 00:23:15,311
Oh, boy, that...
they're really...
390
00:23:15,346 --> 00:23:16,712
Oh, goddamn it.
391
00:23:18,615 --> 00:23:20,116
Give them a little bridge.
392
00:23:21,585 --> 00:23:23,153
There you go,
find your mommy.
393
00:23:23,186 --> 00:23:25,522
There's a lot of them right
in like the taint area.
394
00:23:28,893 --> 00:23:30,760
Your whole Zen
approach to staying calm
395
00:23:30,794 --> 00:23:32,429
is really working, Steve-O.
396
00:23:32,462 --> 00:23:34,298
That yoga's
really been helping.
397
00:23:35,132 --> 00:23:36,133
Meditating.
398
00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:39,236
- Ooh!
- Around the table.
399
00:23:39,269 --> 00:23:41,137
It's gonna make you
look good, Steve-O.
400
00:23:41,172 --> 00:23:42,806
Yeah,
it's adding length.
401
00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:45,476
It's kinda like
Mr. Snuffleupagus. Okay.
402
00:23:45,509 --> 00:23:48,311
Ow! Ow!
403
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,712
Oooh. Oooh.
404
00:23:50,747 --> 00:23:53,784
- Are you good, O?
- Ahhh!
405
00:23:54,984 --> 00:23:56,921
It moves when you move.
406
00:23:58,556 --> 00:24:00,624
It's wiggling.
It's wiggling.
407
00:24:00,657 --> 00:24:03,359
- Wiggle!
- The best thing to do is take off running, Steve-O.
408
00:24:03,394 --> 00:24:05,195
- Lay down, Steve-O.
- Just take off running.
409
00:24:05,229 --> 00:24:09,400
Run, Steve-O. That's the only
way the bees won't sting you.
410
00:24:14,171 --> 00:24:17,407
I got a fucking ballsack
full of bee stingers, dude.
411
00:24:19,108 --> 00:24:20,944
Yeah, I got a fucking
bunch of them.
412
00:24:20,978 --> 00:24:22,880
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh.
413
00:24:28,618 --> 00:24:30,720
Hello, my name
is Irving Zisman,
414
00:24:30,753 --> 00:24:32,721
and this is my
good-for-nothing granddaughter
415
00:24:32,756 --> 00:24:36,026
and our not-so-handy
handyman, Zach.
416
00:24:36,059 --> 00:24:38,494
Today we're gonna do a little
furniture shopping.
417
00:24:44,801 --> 00:24:47,403
Hey, do you guys think this
looks straight, or is it sorta,
418
00:24:47,438 --> 00:24:49,038
- it's like if it was...
- I think you would have to...
419
00:24:49,073 --> 00:24:51,674
if you would hang the top
left side,
420
00:24:51,709 --> 00:24:52,942
I could tell if it's straight
or not 'cause...
421
00:24:52,977 --> 00:24:54,345
Oh, okay,
for sure.
422
00:24:54,377 --> 00:24:55,813
Is everything on sale?
423
00:24:55,846 --> 00:24:58,515
Right now, I'm just doing the pillows.
They're half price, but...
424
00:24:58,548 --> 00:25:01,352
- Oh, okay, thank you.
- But I'm sure everything might be on sale.
425
00:25:01,384 --> 00:25:02,452
Okay.
426
00:25:05,521 --> 00:25:07,191
What is this over here?
427
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,963
Oh. This is pretty good.
428
00:25:13,998 --> 00:25:17,101
A fella could have a pretty
good time on this.
429
00:25:17,134 --> 00:25:19,569
Hey, can you hand me
the black tape over there?
430
00:25:24,008 --> 00:25:25,509
Oh, my God.
431
00:25:27,478 --> 00:25:28,878
Oh, my God.
432
00:25:28,912 --> 00:25:30,513
What the hell happened?
433
00:25:30,547 --> 00:25:34,852
- Ow!
- Are you okay?
434
00:25:34,884 --> 00:25:37,354
I went up high
as a moose's caboose.
435
00:25:38,221 --> 00:25:39,923
Oh, my God.
436
00:25:39,957 --> 00:25:41,659
- Oh, my God.
- Did you do that?
437
00:25:41,692 --> 00:25:45,362
I am so sorry. It's literally my
second day on the job. I fell off.
438
00:25:45,395 --> 00:25:48,565
You tried to take
advantage of a defenseless old man?
439
00:25:49,299 --> 00:25:51,000
Grandpa, are you okay?
440
00:25:51,035 --> 00:25:52,568
I was attacked.
441
00:25:52,603 --> 00:25:55,873
He went higher than that roof.
He went all the way up in there.
442
00:25:55,905 --> 00:25:57,974
- What?
- See this thing right here.
443
00:25:58,008 --> 00:26:03,079
Your grandfather just sat on it and
laid back. This guy, he fell down,
444
00:26:03,113 --> 00:26:05,415
and he knocked your
grandfather through the roof.
445
00:26:05,449 --> 00:26:08,018
Jesus,
he does this shit all the time.
446
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,490
I am Rob Dyrdek, and this
is musical chair bags.
447
00:26:13,523 --> 00:26:17,928
Incredible fine young men,
new talent, war dogs.
448
00:26:17,961 --> 00:26:23,232
War dogs, new talent. One of them
is about to get blown sky high.
449
00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:26,103
The rest are gonna get really
lucky and just sit comfortably.
450
00:26:26,135 --> 00:26:29,373
Our DJ for the day is
Miss Rachel Wolfson.
451
00:26:29,405 --> 00:26:32,643
Wee Man's going to space.
452
00:26:32,675 --> 00:26:34,044
- Ah, shit.
- Wow.
453
00:26:34,077 --> 00:26:36,012
Man, Wee Man. I am sorry, man.
454
00:26:36,046 --> 00:26:37,980
How many times
do we get to play?
455
00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:41,484
- Oh, this is probably a one'r.
- Oh, it is.
456
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,822
Shit.
457
00:26:49,093 --> 00:26:51,060
I am loving
the energy, fellas.
458
00:26:51,095 --> 00:26:54,565
- Keep it up, nice twirl.
- The happiness.
459
00:26:56,567 --> 00:26:57,567
Oh, shit. Get in it.
460
00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:03,807
And let's keep going.
461
00:27:12,750 --> 00:27:14,417
Oh, find your chairs!
462
00:27:16,619 --> 00:27:18,955
One more time!
463
00:27:23,394 --> 00:27:25,395
What happened
to the dance?
464
00:27:25,429 --> 00:27:29,532
- Just do it already.
- Wee Man is not happy.
465
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:31,067
He's not happy.
466
00:27:31,101 --> 00:27:33,771
- Wee Man, come on!
- Put some spirit in it.
467
00:27:33,805 --> 00:27:35,471
- I'm spiriting it.
- Yeah.
468
00:27:35,506 --> 00:27:36,673
Fuck it.
469
00:27:36,707 --> 00:27:38,275
Oh!
470
00:27:42,045 --> 00:27:43,380
Oh, my God.
471
00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,215
Holy fuck.
472
00:27:46,884 --> 00:27:48,752
Oh, God.
473
00:27:48,787 --> 00:27:51,320
- Oh, man.
- What happened to you?
474
00:27:51,355 --> 00:27:55,459
I believe he shot up
and into the hole.
475
00:27:55,491 --> 00:28:01,230
Wee Man flipped.
How did you go backwards?
476
00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:03,967
We have our champion.
477
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,736
I landed on all that shit.
478
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:08,505
Look at the safety
precautions.
479
00:28:08,538 --> 00:28:12,276
I thought we were supposed to have
pads on the tubes and the metal.
480
00:28:12,308 --> 00:28:13,676
We forgot that detail.
481
00:28:16,145 --> 00:28:18,648
Once upon a time,
lived a father and son
482
00:28:18,682 --> 00:28:20,584
imprisoned on the
island of Crete.
483
00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,720
Tired of life in the joint,
the father had the son gather up feathers
484
00:28:23,755 --> 00:28:26,155
that were lying around the cell
and he made them both wings.
485
00:28:26,190 --> 00:28:29,660
And they went off to escape
the island of Crete forever.
486
00:28:29,692 --> 00:28:33,497
But there's that one thing they
left out of the ancient myth.
487
00:28:33,897 --> 00:28:35,231
The cannon.
488
00:28:37,334 --> 00:28:41,505
Hello, I am Johnny Knoxville and
this is the flight of Icarus.
489
00:28:41,538 --> 00:28:44,307
And if you think we're wearing
underpants under these tunics,
490
00:28:44,340 --> 00:28:46,676
you're sadly mistaken,
my friend.
491
00:28:48,177 --> 00:28:50,247
Mmm, mmm.
A little something for ya?
492
00:28:52,482 --> 00:28:53,983
They should just point it
straight up.
493
00:28:54,017 --> 00:28:56,487
Either way it goes,
he's gonna land in this lake.
494
00:28:56,519 --> 00:29:00,190
How big of an angle is
it gonna be?
495
00:29:00,223 --> 00:29:02,926
Oh, God,
they're going to make it bad.
496
00:29:02,961 --> 00:29:06,096
- Oh, God, I can't take it!
- Shit, man.
497
00:29:06,128 --> 00:29:08,967
- Man, that's steep.
- Holy shit, Knox.
498
00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:13,604
In ten, nine, eight,
499
00:29:13,636 --> 00:29:17,607
seven, six, five, four,
500
00:29:17,641 --> 00:29:21,644
three, two, one. Whooo!
501
00:29:22,045 --> 00:29:24,448
Yes!
502
00:29:30,053 --> 00:29:34,290
- I felt like I got a 200-pound colonic up my ass.
- Oh, my God.
503
00:29:38,762 --> 00:29:41,664
You flew like an angel.
504
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:44,468
Unfortunately,
young Icarus got a little bit cocky,
505
00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:46,871
and sure enough flew
too close to the sun.
506
00:29:46,904 --> 00:29:48,772
And fell to his doom.
507
00:29:56,847 --> 00:29:58,548
Ooooh!
508
00:30:04,288 --> 00:30:06,589
- That was rad, dude.
- There's blood on the elbows.
509
00:30:06,623 --> 00:30:07,892
Yeah, attaboy.
510
00:30:07,925 --> 00:30:10,394
Good job, man.
Fucking right on, dude.
511
00:30:10,426 --> 00:30:11,895
- Your legs okay?
- Yeah.
512
00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,730
Good job.
513
00:30:16,165 --> 00:30:17,733
This is the quiet game.
514
00:30:17,769 --> 00:30:23,040
The object of this game is to remain
completely silent. How was that?
515
00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:27,176
Do we all understand the rules and
we're not gonna make any noise?
516
00:30:28,478 --> 00:30:30,614
All right,
well, let's get started.
517
00:30:30,646 --> 00:30:34,919
Rachel, your challenge in the quiet
game is to lick the electric lollipop.
518
00:30:34,952 --> 00:30:36,486
Are you ready?
519
00:30:37,354 --> 00:30:39,288
Jesus.
520
00:30:46,763 --> 00:30:50,467
Whooooaaah!
521
00:30:51,167 --> 00:30:54,304
Our first mime
did really well.
522
00:30:54,337 --> 00:30:56,807
- Oh, yeah.
- Way to go.
523
00:30:57,708 --> 00:30:59,609
Yeah!
524
00:30:59,643 --> 00:31:02,578
- Bar's been set. You'll be hard to beat.
- Damn!
525
00:31:04,580 --> 00:31:07,416
For our next challenge,
our friend Jules here
526
00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:10,519
is going to help Poopies
kiss this deadly viper.
527
00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:13,390
What kind of snake is it?
528
00:31:13,423 --> 00:31:15,358
It's a Texas Rat Snake.
529
00:31:15,392 --> 00:31:18,362
He's a feisty little bugger.
How you feeling, Poopies?
530
00:31:21,163 --> 00:31:22,732
Is that venomous?
531
00:31:22,767 --> 00:31:25,701
Eh.
532
00:31:27,170 --> 00:31:28,438
We ready?
533
00:31:30,606 --> 00:31:32,174
- Go, go, go.
- Go in for the kiss.
534
00:31:32,209 --> 00:31:33,242
You have to get in
closer.
535
00:31:33,276 --> 00:31:34,644
- Closer.
- Closer, closer.
536
00:31:34,677 --> 00:31:37,580
Up and down,
up and down. Up and down.
537
00:31:37,614 --> 00:31:39,884
You know you don't...
You need to stay. Stay!
538
00:31:39,916 --> 00:31:41,250
Give him a kiss.
539
00:31:41,284 --> 00:31:42,486
- Move your head.
- Closer.
540
00:31:42,519 --> 00:31:44,488
- Move your head.
- Closer.
541
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:45,890
Here it comes,
here it comes.
542
00:31:45,923 --> 00:31:48,224
- Oh, my God.
- One more.
543
00:31:48,258 --> 00:31:49,526
Get another one,
get another one.
544
00:31:49,558 --> 00:31:51,461
- Go again.
- We didn't get it.
545
00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:53,163
Come on, Poopies,
you need to go again, dude.
546
00:31:53,195 --> 00:31:55,332
Oh, my God.
547
00:31:55,365 --> 00:31:58,001
- Work, work. You got this.
- You can do it.
548
00:31:58,036 --> 00:31:59,871
Right there.
Touch his tail.
549
00:31:59,903 --> 00:32:01,438
Do it, come on, man.
550
00:32:01,471 --> 00:32:04,708
- Come on, man.
- Oh, my goodness.
551
00:32:04,740 --> 00:32:05,843
A little kissy.
552
00:32:05,876 --> 00:32:06,978
Here it goes.
553
00:32:07,010 --> 00:32:09,645
Oh!
554
00:32:11,015 --> 00:32:13,050
Oh, my goodness.
555
00:32:13,084 --> 00:32:17,186
Rachel and Poopies laying
down the gauntlet on Steve-O.
556
00:32:18,056 --> 00:32:19,123
I gotta save you!
557
00:32:23,660 --> 00:32:24,996
I am saving you.
558
00:32:27,364 --> 00:32:29,000
I gotta save Jeff.
559
00:32:32,469 --> 00:32:35,940
Oh! Ow!
560
00:32:35,972 --> 00:32:37,273
Oh, fuck.
561
00:32:38,175 --> 00:32:39,509
I have one on me.
562
00:32:39,542 --> 00:32:41,112
I couldn't get it out.
563
00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:45,515
So, confidence
is very, very high
564
00:32:45,548 --> 00:32:47,919
with our third contestant,
Steve-O,
565
00:32:47,951 --> 00:32:50,252
for the skateboard guillotine.
566
00:32:53,124 --> 00:32:54,991
Wow.
567
00:32:55,026 --> 00:32:56,259
He's talking smack.
568
00:32:56,292 --> 00:32:58,028
Some mime shit talking
over there.
569
00:33:01,731 --> 00:33:02,732
Huh?
570
00:33:03,201 --> 00:33:04,401
All the way.
571
00:33:06,804 --> 00:33:07,904
All the way?
572
00:33:13,576 --> 00:33:15,746
- He's bold.
- Wow.
573
00:33:15,779 --> 00:33:18,280
- He's very cocky, this guy.
- Get your feet up.
574
00:33:18,315 --> 00:33:20,951
All right, on three!
575
00:33:21,885 --> 00:33:23,153
Aaaaah!
576
00:33:27,590 --> 00:33:30,761
I forgot to
be fucking quiet, dude.
577
00:33:30,795 --> 00:33:32,561
Aaaaah!
578
00:33:32,596 --> 00:33:36,599
Well, we have our winners,
and we have Steve-O.
579
00:33:42,739 --> 00:33:45,876
Zackass,
he's a real wild, crazy guy.
580
00:33:45,910 --> 00:33:48,444
He's a gnarly superstar.
581
00:33:48,478 --> 00:33:50,579
Zackass.
582
00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:54,251
There's nothing
he won't do. Zackass.
583
00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:56,385
He'll jump in cactus for you.
584
00:33:56,419 --> 00:33:59,422
Oh!
585
00:34:01,357 --> 00:34:04,862
While we all
stand and laugh. Go, go, Zach!
586
00:34:06,596 --> 00:34:08,664
The Jackass guys are
getting old, we paid our dues,
587
00:34:08,697 --> 00:34:10,733
so we're handing the torch
to you.
588
00:34:12,903 --> 00:34:14,070
All right.
589
00:34:16,373 --> 00:34:17,574
Man, that was good.
590
00:34:22,512 --> 00:34:24,081
What are you going to be
doing today?
591
00:34:24,949 --> 00:34:27,885
Hit somebody in the nuts.
592
00:34:27,918 --> 00:34:32,621
Francis hits harder than any
heavyweight in the MMA. It's insane.
593
00:34:32,655 --> 00:34:33,990
Does Ehren know this?
594
00:34:34,025 --> 00:34:36,960
No, I told Ehren it was
a lightweight.
595
00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:40,396
I didn't tell him it was a heavyweight.
Jeff and I forgot to mention that.
596
00:34:42,833 --> 00:34:44,534
All right,
he's coming, guys.
597
00:34:47,369 --> 00:34:52,175
That's not a fucking lightweight.
What are you guys talking about? What? No!
598
00:34:52,210 --> 00:34:56,012
What's going on here?
You guys can't...
599
00:34:56,047 --> 00:35:00,382
Almost 20 years ago today we
filmed the original cup test.
600
00:35:00,416 --> 00:35:03,452
Hi, I am Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the cup test.
601
00:35:03,485 --> 00:35:05,056
Oh!
602
00:35:05,088 --> 00:35:06,690
Oh!
603
00:35:06,722 --> 00:35:08,291
Oh!
604
00:35:08,326 --> 00:35:13,463
And now, 20 years later,
we're still doing the same stupid shit.
605
00:35:13,496 --> 00:35:15,498
This is the cup test.
606
00:35:16,967 --> 00:35:18,735
Ah!
607
00:35:18,768 --> 00:35:20,670
I love how you're just
smiling at him.
608
00:35:24,474 --> 00:35:27,777
I just Googled the hardest
punch ever recorded.
609
00:35:27,811 --> 00:35:29,378
Francis
Ngannou's punch is
610
00:35:29,411 --> 00:35:33,818
the equivalent of being hit
by a Ford Escort at top speed.
611
00:35:33,851 --> 00:35:38,021
- His punch is the equivalent...
- Wait. You don't need to read that now.
612
00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:43,894
You're about to
be hit by a car, Ehren.
613
00:35:45,128 --> 00:35:46,396
All right, fight fans.
614
00:35:50,067 --> 00:35:51,701
Oh!
615
00:35:56,572 --> 00:36:04,114
- Did you hear something break?
- Yeah, I heard this crack. I thought it was the cup.
616
00:36:04,148 --> 00:36:06,650
Is that the hardest you've
ever hit someone in the ding ding?
617
00:36:06,682 --> 00:36:12,521
Oh, yeah. Because I've never
hit somebody in the ding ding on purpose.
618
00:36:13,722 --> 00:36:15,293
Eric, what's about to
go down here?
619
00:36:15,326 --> 00:36:19,797
Ehren's gonna get the world's
fastest softball pitcher.
620
00:36:19,829 --> 00:36:22,132
She's gonna like,
pitch a softball at his balls.
621
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,304
Oh!
622
00:36:26,336 --> 00:36:29,739
We ain't a fucking bunch of NASA
scientists over here, you know what I mean?
623
00:36:29,773 --> 00:36:32,675
This ain't a Mensa convention.
We're getting down and dirty!
624
00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:35,744
I am Danger Ehren,
and this is the softball test.
625
00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:36,914
Let's do it.
626
00:36:36,947 --> 00:36:38,148
Play ball!
627
00:36:40,351 --> 00:36:42,552
She can't wait to hit him
in the dick.
628
00:36:46,324 --> 00:36:48,159
Oh!
629
00:36:48,192 --> 00:36:49,726
That was all thigh.
630
00:36:50,726 --> 00:36:52,862
Don't turn!
That would have hit him!
631
00:36:52,896 --> 00:36:54,231
You turned into...
632
00:36:54,264 --> 00:36:56,333
What, you can't quit
already!
633
00:36:56,367 --> 00:36:57,733
That would have
hit him!
634
00:36:57,768 --> 00:36:59,036
That would have hit you
in the ding-ding
635
00:36:59,070 --> 00:37:00,905
and you would have been done
for the day.
636
00:37:00,938 --> 00:37:01,972
It's a softball.
637
00:37:02,005 --> 00:37:04,240
There's nothing soft
about this fucking ball,
638
00:37:04,275 --> 00:37:05,474
it's just bigger.
639
00:37:11,248 --> 00:37:14,284
She keeps hitting him
in the same exact spot.
640
00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,987
- You're moving, dude!
- Why'd you move?
641
00:37:17,021 --> 00:37:18,121
I don't know!
642
00:37:20,958 --> 00:37:22,226
Don't hang brains out
of the side...
643
00:37:22,259 --> 00:37:25,561
I'm not trying to,
but it keeps slipping around.
644
00:37:25,594 --> 00:37:27,764
Well, you're wearing it
backwards, or upside-down.
645
00:37:27,797 --> 00:37:30,300
I don't need physics
from you guys right now.
646
00:37:30,333 --> 00:37:32,635
Physics.
647
00:37:37,273 --> 00:37:38,775
Fuck, yeah! Let's go!
648
00:37:39,509 --> 00:37:40,844
Oh, God!
649
00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:46,548
Ehren!
650
00:37:46,583 --> 00:37:48,284
What the fuck, dude!
651
00:37:49,286 --> 00:37:50,719
No, no, no, time out!
652
00:37:50,755 --> 00:37:54,025
Hey, Ehren, no joke,
you're fucked.
653
00:37:54,057 --> 00:37:55,059
You're done.
654
00:37:56,927 --> 00:37:59,695
I'm here with professional
hockey player P.K. Subban.
655
00:37:59,728 --> 00:38:01,931
This is the hockey cup test.
656
00:38:03,099 --> 00:38:05,835
Yeah!
657
00:38:06,936 --> 00:38:08,005
Come on!
658
00:38:23,585 --> 00:38:25,356
That was about
85 miles per hour.
659
00:38:25,389 --> 00:38:27,958
Oh, shit, man.
That fucking knocked me out.
660
00:38:28,793 --> 00:38:31,693
What the fuck, man.
That was insane.
661
00:38:31,728 --> 00:38:33,463
Now I'm gonna go
for your nuts.
662
00:38:33,496 --> 00:38:34,697
Oh, God.
663
00:38:36,233 --> 00:38:37,768
Fuck you, Ehren!
664
00:38:50,447 --> 00:38:51,748
We got him!
665
00:38:52,248 --> 00:38:53,583
That a boy!
666
00:38:57,188 --> 00:39:01,125
We got the "whambulance" coming for
you if you don't get to this next bit.
667
00:39:01,157 --> 00:39:04,295
Hey, I'll tell you right now,
if the jokes continue
668
00:39:04,327 --> 00:39:05,896
I will stand up
and walk away.
669
00:39:05,929 --> 00:39:08,099
He's going to
take his nuts and go home?
670
00:39:13,269 --> 00:39:16,239
- Sneak up on it.
- Teasing. He's teasing.
671
00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:19,608
Whoa!
672
00:39:22,179 --> 00:39:23,447
Perfect!
673
00:39:23,481 --> 00:39:25,248
- Oh!
- Oh, my goodness.
674
00:39:29,652 --> 00:39:30,920
Oh, dude!
675
00:39:31,755 --> 00:39:34,824
His nuts are bleeding.
We got blood.
676
00:39:34,858 --> 00:39:37,161
Dude. I'm sorry, dude.
677
00:39:37,193 --> 00:39:39,396
Fuck, this cup sucked.
678
00:39:40,931 --> 00:39:43,900
This is the worst
cup of them all.
679
00:39:43,934 --> 00:39:46,302
I'm starting to think
those cups don't work, dude.
680
00:39:48,204 --> 00:39:50,106
That cup sucks.
681
00:39:50,141 --> 00:39:52,610
Yeah, it slipped down and
pinned your nuts to the ground.
682
00:39:52,641 --> 00:39:54,878
Oh, my God!
683
00:39:55,744 --> 00:39:57,313
Fuck, dude.
684
00:39:58,114 --> 00:40:00,083
Oh. Ooh!
685
00:40:00,117 --> 00:40:02,452
Lance?
686
00:40:02,485 --> 00:40:03,719
How you doing, Lance?
687
00:40:06,789 --> 00:40:08,324
Let me have your
camera, Lance.
688
00:40:12,295 --> 00:40:14,465
Can I get another mask?
689
00:40:14,498 --> 00:40:16,367
Can Lance
get another mask?
690
00:40:19,036 --> 00:40:22,206
You guys got any predictions who
we might get today with this?
691
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,775
I'm worried, like we've
been hitting the guys
692
00:40:24,807 --> 00:40:26,443
pretty hard all week so...
693
00:40:27,911 --> 00:40:30,414
their nerves are
pretty well shot.
694
00:40:30,447 --> 00:40:33,682
If they do trust us
to go to the bathroom today,
695
00:40:33,715 --> 00:40:34,918
they're pretty...
696
00:40:36,286 --> 00:40:39,989
They're pretty less
intelligent than I thought.
697
00:40:40,023 --> 00:40:41,925
We're gonna build
Cobra Kai Dojos
698
00:40:41,958 --> 00:40:43,760
- all over this valley.
- Hell yeah, we are.
699
00:40:43,793 --> 00:40:46,362
- I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen...
- I'm gonna watch it.
700
00:40:46,396 --> 00:40:47,630
Miyagi, Miyagi's Dojo...
701
00:40:47,664 --> 00:40:49,632
Wee Man would totally
be a Cobra Kai.
702
00:40:49,666 --> 00:40:52,235
He's not even
worried about it.
703
00:40:52,268 --> 00:40:53,771
Cobra Kai rules.
704
00:40:58,375 --> 00:41:00,577
Oh, yeah!
705
00:41:08,184 --> 00:41:09,887
- Oh.
- Wow!
706
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,922
- What happened?
- I don't know, dude.
707
00:41:12,956 --> 00:41:15,592
- Oh, my God.
- I was trying to take a shit.
708
00:41:17,293 --> 00:41:20,197
Even with an outbreak you're
still blowing people up.
709
00:41:21,431 --> 00:41:23,132
As if life
is not hard enough.
710
00:41:27,003 --> 00:41:29,907
To fart or not to fart.
That is the question.
711
00:41:29,940 --> 00:41:32,275
Well, I hope to...
712
00:41:32,309 --> 00:41:35,913
'cause we've been trying
to get this bit for 14 years,
713
00:41:35,945 --> 00:41:37,947
trying to light
a fart underwater.
714
00:41:38,615 --> 00:41:40,650
Since Jackass Number Two.
715
00:41:40,684 --> 00:41:42,485
Get your fucking
ass up there.
716
00:41:42,518 --> 00:41:44,021
Just let me do it, okay?
717
00:41:51,594 --> 00:41:54,130
Oh, God.
I didn't mean to do that.
718
00:41:54,164 --> 00:41:56,266
Who didn't see
that coming?
719
00:41:56,300 --> 00:41:59,402
I'm very excited
because we are lighting
720
00:41:59,436 --> 00:42:01,972
the first ever
fart underwater.
721
00:42:02,005 --> 00:42:04,108
And Tory Belleci
is here today
722
00:42:04,141 --> 00:42:05,842
to help us achieve our dream.
723
00:42:05,876 --> 00:42:07,844
It's good to have dreams.
724
00:42:07,878 --> 00:42:10,447
All right, so, somebody
is going to sit in the tank
725
00:42:10,481 --> 00:42:11,882
and when they fart,
726
00:42:11,914 --> 00:42:14,885
that glass dome is our
fart catcher, inside there,
727
00:42:14,918 --> 00:42:17,887
we have a little
bit of oxygen and a spark.
728
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:19,690
And so hopefully,
once that methane gas
729
00:42:19,722 --> 00:42:21,824
gets caught in there,
it will ignite,
730
00:42:21,858 --> 00:42:25,396
and we'll get the underwater
exploding fart.
731
00:42:25,429 --> 00:42:27,364
- Yo, Steve-O, are you ready?
- You ready to make history?
732
00:42:27,398 --> 00:42:29,333
I'm ready to get in there
and just see what happens.
733
00:42:29,365 --> 00:42:31,702
Oh, my goodness,
we're about to make history
734
00:42:31,735 --> 00:42:32,869
with Steve-O.
735
00:42:32,902 --> 00:42:36,507
Okay, make sure
his feet look good.
736
00:42:36,539 --> 00:42:38,275
- Ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
737
00:42:38,309 --> 00:42:40,744
- It's in there, man.
- Remember to give us a countdown.
738
00:42:40,778 --> 00:42:41,978
It's in there.
739
00:42:42,713 --> 00:42:44,514
How was work today, honey?
740
00:42:50,186 --> 00:42:51,588
I know
I'm gonna get it.
741
00:42:51,621 --> 00:42:52,655
Just relax.
742
00:42:52,690 --> 00:42:54,759
Ooooh!
743
00:42:54,793 --> 00:42:56,226
We got a fart!
744
00:42:57,927 --> 00:43:01,097
Oh, that was a huge one.
745
00:43:01,130 --> 00:43:03,199
- Wow. They're like ten, dude.
- They're perfect bombs.
746
00:43:03,233 --> 00:43:05,936
There's not enough
methane in his fart.
747
00:43:05,969 --> 00:43:08,105
The spark in that bowl
is going nonstop though,
748
00:43:08,137 --> 00:43:10,239
so we just need to catch
enough farts.
749
00:43:11,307 --> 00:43:12,811
Oooh!
750
00:43:12,842 --> 00:43:14,210
The farts
aren't igniting.
751
00:43:14,244 --> 00:43:16,880
- We need an open flame.
- Yeah, bring it in.
752
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,186
This won't hurt a bit.
753
00:43:31,260 --> 00:43:32,329
Come on, O.
754
00:43:35,733 --> 00:43:36,800
There it goes. Catch it.
755
00:43:36,835 --> 00:43:38,534
Yeah. Get it. Get it!
756
00:43:45,742 --> 00:43:48,644
What was that?
Was that it? Was that it?
757
00:43:49,246 --> 00:43:50,146
- Yes!
- Dude!
758
00:43:50,179 --> 00:43:52,048
I'm not a fucking
scientist, man,
759
00:43:52,081 --> 00:43:54,083
but that sounded pretty sweet.
760
00:43:55,952 --> 00:43:57,186
How did that explode?
761
00:43:57,221 --> 00:43:59,422
The spark in the fart
catcher exploded it.
762
00:44:01,458 --> 00:44:04,594
That fucking really
rocked my balls. That's for sure.
763
00:44:08,498 --> 00:44:09,900
All right, Jaws, you ready?
764
00:44:10,501 --> 00:44:11,501
Three.
765
00:44:12,503 --> 00:44:13,570
Two.
766
00:44:15,105 --> 00:44:16,340
One.
767
00:44:21,711 --> 00:44:23,414
- Jesus Christ!
- I got you.
768
00:44:23,447 --> 00:44:25,215
What the fuck!
769
00:44:25,248 --> 00:44:26,784
Dude, I was like,
"Catch him."
770
00:44:29,119 --> 00:44:30,586
- Wow.
- Are you okay?
771
00:44:30,621 --> 00:44:31,755
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
772
00:44:31,789 --> 00:44:33,724
Dude... Where were you?
773
00:44:33,757 --> 00:44:35,092
I'm just... I...
774
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:36,927
Where were you?
775
00:44:39,329 --> 00:44:40,697
What's going on, Jasper?
776
00:44:40,731 --> 00:44:43,367
So today we got my dad,
Dark Shark on set and honestly
777
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,568
- I don't think he's gonna like it.
- Why not?
778
00:44:45,601 --> 00:44:48,472
So you know my dad,
ex-convict, ex-gang banger,
779
00:44:48,505 --> 00:44:50,507
doesn't fear anything
except for like,
780
00:44:50,541 --> 00:44:53,143
he kinda doesn't
like bugs or spiders,
781
00:44:53,177 --> 00:44:55,746
cats, dogs, basically anything
that's not normal to the hood.
782
00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:57,181
So we're gonna fuck
with him today
783
00:44:57,213 --> 00:44:59,215
and it should be good.
784
00:44:59,248 --> 00:45:03,653
All right, this is Dark Shark,
our newest star, Jasper's dad.
785
00:45:03,686 --> 00:45:06,956
He's going to battle Ehren
in the spider helmet.
786
00:45:06,989 --> 00:45:10,092
You look scareder than me
and this is your shit.
787
00:45:10,126 --> 00:45:11,728
Shall we begin taping, fellas?
788
00:45:11,762 --> 00:45:14,130
I'm gonna fuck you up, man.
You supposed to be having my back.
789
00:45:14,164 --> 00:45:16,400
- Not too tight.
- I got you a job!
790
00:45:16,432 --> 00:45:18,702
Don't do it. I'm telling you.
I'm gonna flip this chair over.
791
00:45:18,735 --> 00:45:20,070
I got you a job!
792
00:45:20,103 --> 00:45:21,672
If I flip the chair over,
that thing gonna bite me
793
00:45:21,704 --> 00:45:23,005
- if I flip the chair over?
- No.
794
00:45:23,039 --> 00:45:24,974
No, you gotta be careful
with the spider.
795
00:45:25,007 --> 00:45:27,010
- Can't hurt the spider.
- I'm just worried about breathing, man.
796
00:45:27,043 --> 00:45:28,847
I don't even like
handcuffs on me no more.
797
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,047
Dude, I don't think
we gotta...
798
00:45:30,079 --> 00:45:31,748
Okay.
We're gonna leave the tape.
799
00:45:31,782 --> 00:45:32,951
You got it, dog.
800
00:45:32,983 --> 00:45:35,385
All right,
here we go, fellas.
801
00:45:36,686 --> 00:45:38,822
- How is that?
- Oh shit, hell, nah.
802
00:45:38,856 --> 00:45:41,224
Okay. Oh, and by the
way, the loser has to take
803
00:45:41,257 --> 00:45:43,059
- the bite from the spider.
- What?
804
00:45:43,092 --> 00:45:44,695
Yeah.
805
00:45:44,728 --> 00:45:47,530
- Jules, can you bring in the spider?
- Love to.
806
00:45:47,563 --> 00:45:49,800
You got it, Dark Shark.
You got it, man.
807
00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:52,101
This one is
an absolute bastard.
808
00:45:52,135 --> 00:45:53,704
Oh, hell, nah.
809
00:45:53,737 --> 00:45:56,172
All right. Let's go.
810
00:45:56,206 --> 00:45:58,574
On the count of three.
One, two, three.
811
00:46:05,817 --> 00:46:07,650
Don't move,
Dark Shark.
812
00:46:09,052 --> 00:46:10,822
Dark Shark, stay down.
813
00:46:14,590 --> 00:46:16,159
Oh, shit!
814
00:46:16,927 --> 00:46:18,461
Chill, chill, chill!
815
00:46:19,864 --> 00:46:22,398
You got it, chill!
816
00:46:24,601 --> 00:46:26,135
It's not goin' touch you.
817
00:46:28,639 --> 00:46:31,041
Ow! Ow!
818
00:46:36,346 --> 00:46:39,248
Dark Shark,
why are you pulling on me?
819
00:46:39,282 --> 00:46:40,416
I think he passed out.
820
00:46:40,449 --> 00:46:42,518
Dark Shark,
you gotta let go!
821
00:46:42,552 --> 00:46:46,088
- You gotta let go! Sit down. Calm down.
- There you go.
822
00:46:46,123 --> 00:46:48,391
- Oh, my God.
- Don't hurt the spider.
823
00:46:48,425 --> 00:46:50,961
Dark Shark, if you let go
of me I will get the spider out.
824
00:46:50,994 --> 00:46:53,130
- Who is that?
- It's Johnny.
825
00:46:53,163 --> 00:46:55,264
- There you go.
- We all day. Guess what?
826
00:46:55,298 --> 00:46:57,134
Okay, I'll get it.
827
00:46:57,166 --> 00:46:58,534
I'm gonna pull him out.
828
00:46:59,536 --> 00:47:02,172
- He's out, he's out, he's out.
- He's out!
829
00:47:02,873 --> 00:47:06,076
All right, we have our winner.
830
00:47:06,108 --> 00:47:08,244
Dark Shark!
831
00:47:08,277 --> 00:47:10,713
How the fuck
is he gonna be the winner?
832
00:47:10,746 --> 00:47:12,081
- Oh, no.
- Get it off me.
833
00:47:12,114 --> 00:47:13,483
How is he the winner?
834
00:47:13,516 --> 00:47:15,217
Ehren has to take
a bite from the spider.
835
00:47:15,251 --> 00:47:17,454
- I didn't do anything. Jesus.
- This man was brave.
836
00:47:17,487 --> 00:47:21,925
- Brave? The spider went in his helmet!
- Great job, Dark Shark.
837
00:47:25,596 --> 00:47:27,597
And I was like,
it was either my life or yours.
838
00:47:27,630 --> 00:47:30,333
I was like, fuck your life.
I was like, man.
839
00:47:30,367 --> 00:47:32,735
I'm tapped out, out here
and still I was like,
840
00:47:32,769 --> 00:47:34,237
I feel like grabbing his ass.
841
00:47:34,271 --> 00:47:35,873
The bastard.
842
00:47:35,907 --> 00:47:37,474
So where should
it bite him?
843
00:47:37,507 --> 00:47:39,576
Just do it on my arm.
It's fine.
844
00:47:39,610 --> 00:47:41,878
- Well...
- Have it crawl onto my arm.
845
00:47:41,913 --> 00:47:43,179
- Nipples!
- I just won't do it.
846
00:47:43,213 --> 00:47:45,715
Nipple. I like nipple.
Nipple.
847
00:47:45,748 --> 00:47:47,650
Just give it, just do a boob.
848
00:47:47,684 --> 00:47:48,885
All right. Fine.
849
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,322
Nipple, no.
Boob, sure.
850
00:47:53,724 --> 00:47:55,659
Is he
gonna bite him for real?
851
00:47:55,692 --> 00:47:58,762
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, yeah, your man titties are looking dope.
852
00:47:58,795 --> 00:47:59,896
Oh, man.
853
00:47:59,931 --> 00:48:01,965
Oh, my God.
Look at his fangs.
854
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,432
I don't wanna see the fangs.
855
00:48:03,467 --> 00:48:05,135
Make sure Ehren
sees the fangs.
856
00:48:05,168 --> 00:48:06,536
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait a minute!
857
00:48:06,570 --> 00:48:09,039
No, you, no.
Ehren lay down.
858
00:48:09,072 --> 00:48:11,041
- Wait a minute.
- Oh, look at the venom!
859
00:48:11,074 --> 00:48:13,010
- I'll show you the venom while it's there.
- Yeah.
860
00:48:13,043 --> 00:48:14,610
Oh, my God.
861
00:48:14,644 --> 00:48:16,512
Here, hold my hand,
Steve-O. Hold my hand.
862
00:48:16,545 --> 00:48:19,282
- Hold my hand, Steve-O.
- Hold his hand, Steve-O.
863
00:48:19,315 --> 00:48:22,686
- Pierce that nipple.
- One, two, three.
864
00:48:23,987 --> 00:48:25,655
Shit!
865
00:48:28,324 --> 00:48:30,894
- Oh, shit!
- Stay, stay.
866
00:48:30,927 --> 00:48:32,161
Did it go in or no?
867
00:48:32,195 --> 00:48:33,764
- Oh, yeah.
- Fuckin' went in.
868
00:48:33,797 --> 00:48:36,365
You went from a
triple A to a B on this side.
869
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,201
Yeah, Ehren.
870
00:48:39,268 --> 00:48:41,471
Watch out, Ehren!
871
00:48:41,505 --> 00:48:43,407
Oh, my God,
I thought it was the real thing.
872
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,307
I'm done!
I'm done! I can't.
873
00:48:45,842 --> 00:48:46,978
I'm outta here.
874
00:48:47,010 --> 00:48:48,880
No more of this spider crap.
I'm out.
875
00:48:56,788 --> 00:48:58,255
Excuse me, ma'am?
876
00:48:58,288 --> 00:49:01,257
I need to get my basket
closer to this pole.
877
00:49:01,291 --> 00:49:02,726
Do you think
you can help me, ma'am?
878
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:07,065
- Sure.
- There's a red handle at the back of this truck.
879
00:49:07,097 --> 00:49:08,900
It's more
of a pinky orange.
880
00:49:08,932 --> 00:49:11,936
- This one?
- Yeah, just pull back on it just a little.
881
00:49:11,969 --> 00:49:13,838
Wait, should I do reverse?
882
00:49:13,871 --> 00:49:16,074
Yeah, do the reverse.
883
00:49:16,106 --> 00:49:18,474
Yeah, no, no!
Oh, that was... Noooo!
884
00:49:18,507 --> 00:49:20,210
Oh, why did you hit
the red one?
885
00:49:20,242 --> 00:49:22,045
Ow! Ow!
886
00:49:22,079 --> 00:49:23,114
Help!
887
00:49:23,146 --> 00:49:24,849
- Help!
- Help me!
888
00:49:24,882 --> 00:49:26,349
Hit the lever!
Hit the lever!
889
00:49:26,382 --> 00:49:27,952
Hit the blue!
Hit the override!
890
00:49:27,985 --> 00:49:29,820
I don't know
where the blue is?
891
00:49:29,853 --> 00:49:31,121
Are you color blind?
892
00:49:31,155 --> 00:49:34,125
- Please, help me!
- I'm trying to help you, sir!
893
00:49:34,157 --> 00:49:36,226
Just do the override
like it says!
894
00:49:36,259 --> 00:49:38,161
It doesn't say shit here!
895
00:49:38,195 --> 00:49:40,797
Pop to the right, then slide!
896
00:49:40,831 --> 00:49:42,398
Pop and slide!
897
00:49:44,534 --> 00:49:46,737
You just got me electrocuted!
898
00:49:46,771 --> 00:49:49,039
Oh, my ass!
899
00:49:49,072 --> 00:49:51,675
- You forgot the slide.
- God, bless!
900
00:49:51,708 --> 00:49:53,878
I don't want to touch anything
because I don't know...
901
00:49:53,911 --> 00:49:56,579
You gotta touch something!
I gotta get down from here!
902
00:49:56,612 --> 00:49:59,349
- Which one?
- Well, don't hit the ones you been hitting!
903
00:49:59,382 --> 00:50:01,617
'Cause you've been
hitting the wrong ones!
904
00:50:01,650 --> 00:50:04,653
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Well, clearly!
905
00:50:06,289 --> 00:50:08,793
Did you see Dirty Dancing?
906
00:50:08,826 --> 00:50:11,494
No. The old one,
you mean with the chair?
907
00:50:11,527 --> 00:50:12,896
- The only one.
- Yeah.
908
00:50:12,929 --> 00:50:13,965
Yeah.
909
00:50:13,998 --> 00:50:15,065
That's Flashdance.
910
00:50:15,099 --> 00:50:16,500
Oh, Flashdance
is what I'm thinking.
911
00:50:16,532 --> 00:50:18,534
Dirty Dancing with Jennifer
Grey and Patrick Swayze.
912
00:50:18,568 --> 00:50:21,505
For the final dance
she runs at them.
913
00:50:21,538 --> 00:50:23,007
She runs to Patrick Swayze
914
00:50:23,039 --> 00:50:26,675
- and he catches her and he lifts her off the ground.
- Okay.
915
00:50:26,710 --> 00:50:28,980
- Can you do that with Preston?
- I think I could do it with Preston.
916
00:50:29,012 --> 00:50:32,282
Yeah, work it out a little bit.
I want more than just a big jump.
917
00:50:35,987 --> 00:50:38,554
Oh, my God. I just shit my pants.
918
00:50:38,588 --> 00:50:41,525
- Shut up.
- You're joking, right?
919
00:50:42,559 --> 00:50:44,594
Did you really?
920
00:50:44,628 --> 00:50:47,764
I just shit my pants.
I just shit my fucking pants.
921
00:50:47,798 --> 00:50:50,432
- He did. He really did.
- I just shit my pants.
922
00:50:50,467 --> 00:50:51,969
I fucking shit my pants.
923
00:50:52,003 --> 00:50:53,503
- Why did you?
- Oh, my God.
924
00:50:53,536 --> 00:50:55,672
- Why did you shit your...
- I didn't mean to.
925
00:50:56,672 --> 00:50:57,809
Oh, man.
926
00:50:58,775 --> 00:51:00,476
Technically,
you shit our pants.
927
00:51:00,510 --> 00:51:03,914
The show must go on.
I don't see how that stops this.
928
00:51:03,947 --> 00:51:06,150
Let's go on.
929
00:51:06,184 --> 00:51:07,650
Ah, it's so gross.
930
00:51:07,684 --> 00:51:10,519
- Ah, dude.
- It's so fucking gross.
931
00:51:10,554 --> 00:51:14,724
You're full of shit.
932
00:51:14,759 --> 00:51:17,726
I should not have ate Indian
and Cuban food in the same day.
933
00:51:19,496 --> 00:51:23,000
We might be losing Lance again.
934
00:51:26,237 --> 00:51:27,436
Oh, my goodness.
935
00:51:27,469 --> 00:51:28,972
Oh, yuck.
936
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,809
Oh, my God!
937
00:51:32,342 --> 00:51:34,344
I'm a grown man.
938
00:51:34,376 --> 00:51:36,413
I'm fucking 51 years old.
939
00:51:36,445 --> 00:51:38,447
Lance, we need
a closer shot of it.
940
00:51:39,083 --> 00:51:41,384
Oh! Oh, yuck.
941
00:51:43,420 --> 00:51:46,556
Preston should have pooped
before he came to work today.
942
00:51:46,590 --> 00:51:49,592
Fail to prepare.
Prepare to fail. Hmm.
943
00:51:51,027 --> 00:51:52,028
Marker.
944
00:51:54,030 --> 00:51:55,664
Hello, my name's
Johnny Knoxville
945
00:51:55,699 --> 00:51:57,400
and this is the marching band.
946
00:52:00,271 --> 00:52:02,371
Ladies!
947
00:52:22,193 --> 00:52:23,525
Ugh!
948
00:52:24,393 --> 00:52:26,163
That happened so fast!
949
00:52:29,099 --> 00:52:30,567
Damn, I got a hard head.
950
00:52:32,103 --> 00:52:33,503
Oh, my God.
You all right?
951
00:52:33,536 --> 00:52:36,438
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Oh, my God. He's bleeding.
952
00:52:36,472 --> 00:52:38,309
My hair line is receding.
953
00:52:38,342 --> 00:52:39,608
Steve-O, are you okay?
954
00:52:40,710 --> 00:52:42,179
You all right, Steve-O?
955
00:52:42,213 --> 00:52:43,313
- Oh, dude.
- Yo, you okay?
956
00:52:43,347 --> 00:52:44,614
Holy shit.
957
00:52:47,318 --> 00:52:49,853
Man, that happened
fast.
958
00:52:52,923 --> 00:52:56,393
All that practicing,
right out the window.
959
00:52:56,425 --> 00:52:59,931
I feel like I'm coming back to myself.
I can't remember nothing.
960
00:53:01,032 --> 00:53:03,266
- I didn't wimp out, did I?
- No, you didn't.
961
00:53:03,300 --> 00:53:05,936
You still got those million
dollar teeth, that's for sure.
962
00:53:10,373 --> 00:53:12,442
They're dropping like flies.
963
00:53:15,478 --> 00:53:17,081
I never know what to say
to Rick's camera.
964
00:53:17,114 --> 00:53:20,351
I feel like, I'm just like,
ah ha, man, I'm on Jackass.
965
00:53:20,384 --> 00:53:21,885
This is sick.
966
00:53:21,918 --> 00:53:25,789
I'm in the TV show
I used to watch, man.
967
00:53:25,822 --> 00:53:28,490
Everything I say is gonna end up
on the cutting room floor anyways.
968
00:53:28,525 --> 00:53:29,994
So it doesn't matter.
969
00:53:33,264 --> 00:53:34,931
- Hey, how you doin'?
- Hi.
970
00:53:34,965 --> 00:53:36,800
- Can I get a cold brew?
- Yeah, of course.
971
00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:37,934
Thanks.
972
00:53:42,206 --> 00:53:43,739
Do you mind if I get a photo?
973
00:53:43,773 --> 00:53:45,943
- Sure.
- I'm a big fan.
974
00:53:54,851 --> 00:53:56,052
Oh, my God!
975
00:54:01,391 --> 00:54:02,994
What did you guys do to Eric?
976
00:54:03,027 --> 00:54:06,663
Fuck, everything was perfect.
I was like,
977
00:54:06,695 --> 00:54:08,697
cold brew coffee, all right.
978
00:54:09,967 --> 00:54:11,634
Yes, please.
979
00:54:11,668 --> 00:54:14,038
"A picture? Okay, yeah, sure."
980
00:54:14,070 --> 00:54:15,773
Motherfucker.
981
00:54:40,231 --> 00:54:42,199
- What happened?
- What do you mean?
982
00:54:42,233 --> 00:54:43,967
He just got his nuts beat up.
983
00:54:44,869 --> 00:54:46,568
His balls are in his tummy.
984
00:54:46,603 --> 00:54:50,306
Oh. Ah, God damn it hurts.
985
00:54:50,340 --> 00:54:51,809
I think we gotta go one more.
986
00:54:55,045 --> 00:54:56,347
Can you do one more?
987
00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:58,215
Jeff said he needs one more.
988
00:55:00,751 --> 00:55:02,820
Hey, Wee Man,
help him get through that hole.
989
00:55:03,954 --> 00:55:05,422
I'll guide.
990
00:55:05,456 --> 00:55:07,425
They're not hanging as low as
they were.
991
00:55:07,458 --> 00:55:08,925
- Can you blame him?
- No.
992
00:55:08,958 --> 00:55:10,427
I'm getting 'em
right now.
993
00:55:10,460 --> 00:55:12,695
Ehren "Fluffer" McGhehey.
994
00:55:13,097 --> 00:55:15,231
Oh, my God.
995
00:55:16,666 --> 00:55:19,601
- Oh, fuck, it hurts.
- Hold on, get ready.
996
00:55:20,702 --> 00:55:23,074
- Okay, there.
- Here we go. Here we go.
997
00:55:24,507 --> 00:55:26,043
- Now we're primed.
- One more time.
998
00:55:26,077 --> 00:55:28,278
Ah, fuck you.
999
00:55:31,014 --> 00:55:32,581
You ready? Action.
1000
00:55:33,284 --> 00:55:34,318
Everybody shut up!
1001
00:55:35,119 --> 00:55:36,152
Boxer.
1002
00:55:40,690 --> 00:55:42,326
Oh, Preston.
1003
00:55:47,831 --> 00:55:51,268
Here with Steve-O and our
special handsome guest star,
1004
00:55:51,302 --> 00:55:52,635
Machine Gun Kelly.
1005
00:55:52,668 --> 00:55:54,704
This is the bicycle backhand
1006
00:55:54,737 --> 00:55:56,606
and it's a competition.
1007
00:55:56,639 --> 00:55:59,543
The faster you pedal your bike
1008
00:55:59,577 --> 00:56:02,545
the faster the other guy's
hand goes back.
1009
00:56:02,579 --> 00:56:04,014
And when it gets
to a certain point,
1010
00:56:04,047 --> 00:56:06,016
boom, someone's gonna
get launched.
1011
00:56:06,583 --> 00:56:08,518
You might be younger,
1012
00:56:08,552 --> 00:56:10,920
taller, better looking,
richer,
1013
00:56:10,954 --> 00:56:13,190
more talented,
but, motherfucker,
1014
00:56:13,224 --> 00:56:14,324
I can ride.
1015
00:56:15,391 --> 00:56:17,293
Steve-O's just eat up
with envy.
1016
00:56:20,297 --> 00:56:22,632
Charlie, can you push that
hand in a little closer?
1017
00:56:22,664 --> 00:56:25,068
Okay, I'm gonna push this
forward a little.
1018
00:56:25,101 --> 00:56:27,538
Oh, shit!
1019
00:56:27,570 --> 00:56:30,141
What the fuck?
1020
00:56:30,173 --> 00:56:32,675
No one fucking even touched it.
1021
00:56:33,110 --> 00:56:34,945
Oops. Oops.
1022
00:56:36,981 --> 00:56:38,983
It happened so fast.
1023
00:56:39,617 --> 00:56:41,050
Holy shit.
1024
00:56:42,652 --> 00:56:44,255
Oh, my God, dude.
1025
00:56:46,757 --> 00:56:48,391
Dry off, Steve-O,
it's going again.
1026
00:56:51,027 --> 00:56:52,996
Charlie just
touched it, it went boom.
1027
00:56:54,731 --> 00:56:57,067
And now Steve-O
has to do it twice.
1028
00:56:58,469 --> 00:56:59,903
Um, we ready?
1029
00:57:01,204 --> 00:57:02,505
On your marks...
1030
00:57:02,539 --> 00:57:03,574
get set...
1031
00:57:03,606 --> 00:57:04,875
Go!
1032
00:57:04,909 --> 00:57:06,543
Pedal! Pedal! Pedal!
1033
00:57:06,577 --> 00:57:08,612
Oh, you got this!
1034
00:57:12,248 --> 00:57:14,117
Keep going! Keep going!
1035
00:57:14,150 --> 00:57:15,152
Pedal!
1036
00:57:17,554 --> 00:57:18,989
He's got 'em!
1037
00:57:20,590 --> 00:57:24,027
Steve-O's winning.
1038
00:57:24,061 --> 00:57:25,563
I don't know.
I don't know!
1039
00:57:25,596 --> 00:57:26,931
Head up! Head up!
1040
00:57:26,963 --> 00:57:28,264
Don't gas out, Steve-O.
1041
00:57:28,298 --> 00:57:30,733
- Steve-O, you got it.
- You got it!
1042
00:57:34,471 --> 00:57:36,472
Oh, God. It's so cold!
1043
00:57:39,842 --> 00:57:41,344
Bunny, help him.
1044
00:57:42,313 --> 00:57:43,880
The water's so fucking cold.
1045
00:57:43,914 --> 00:57:45,583
Save me motherfucker, fuck.
1046
00:57:45,615 --> 00:57:47,150
I need a towel.
1047
00:57:48,552 --> 00:57:50,987
I totally forgot
I was a lifeguard.
1048
00:57:51,021 --> 00:57:53,023
Dude, it's so cold.
That hurt so bad.
1049
00:57:53,590 --> 00:57:54,891
You got towels? Okay.
1050
00:57:54,925 --> 00:57:57,061
He's in shock right now,
look at his face.
1051
00:57:57,094 --> 00:57:58,027
Yeah, dude.
1052
00:57:58,061 --> 00:58:00,197
I thought my hand
was your hand.
1053
00:58:04,068 --> 00:58:06,003
Maybe I didn't
explain it right.
1054
00:58:06,036 --> 00:58:09,106
Dude, you said it wasn't gonna
feel like anything.
1055
00:58:09,139 --> 00:58:10,773
What hurt worse,
the cold water or the hand?
1056
00:58:10,807 --> 00:58:12,742
It was the hand.
That was harsh.
1057
00:58:13,710 --> 00:58:14,978
I was in the water like...
1058
00:58:15,478 --> 00:58:16,547
Oh, I'm dead.
1059
00:58:16,579 --> 00:58:17,981
That really worked.
1060
00:58:21,385 --> 00:58:22,585
How did you beat me?
1061
00:58:22,619 --> 00:58:24,288
I don't know, dude.
I don't know, man.
1062
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:28,358
I was coming off my pedals,
it was not my strongest performance.
1063
00:58:28,391 --> 00:58:29,592
Yours was really bad.
1064
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,969
I don't know what's
worse, the wedgie or these
1065
00:58:39,003 --> 00:58:42,106
junkyard mattresses
you gotta land on?
1066
00:58:42,139 --> 00:58:44,375
Look at that
pee-stained one right there.
1067
00:58:44,407 --> 00:58:45,876
Ew, dude.
1068
00:58:45,909 --> 00:58:48,445
Who do you think's more
afraid of being at that height?
1069
00:58:49,179 --> 00:58:50,280
Preston or Zach?
1070
00:58:50,313 --> 00:58:51,981
How are you with
heights, Zach?
1071
00:58:52,016 --> 00:58:55,952
I already hate this.
1072
00:58:55,985 --> 00:58:59,757
I'm Wee Man, and this
is the triple wedgie.
1073
00:58:59,789 --> 00:59:05,061
All right.
Three, two, one. Jump!
1074
00:59:13,237 --> 00:59:15,572
Okay! Put me down!
1075
00:59:15,606 --> 00:59:17,206
Shit, put me down!
1076
00:59:21,577 --> 00:59:24,047
My nuts!
1077
00:59:27,751 --> 00:59:29,353
Well, that went well.
1078
00:59:32,822 --> 00:59:35,125
A little angel
hanging in the air.
1079
00:59:38,961 --> 00:59:41,597
Hollywood has long put
tremendous pressure on women
1080
00:59:41,632 --> 00:59:43,166
to look youthful and sexy.
1081
00:59:43,199 --> 00:59:45,436
And sometimes, the only way
to do that is with a team
1082
00:59:45,469 --> 00:59:50,373
of medical professionals
and venomous insects.
1083
00:59:51,909 --> 00:59:54,844
I'm Rachel,
and this is scorpion botox.
1084
00:59:56,914 --> 00:59:59,016
This is actually
my first time performing
1085
00:59:59,048 --> 01:00:01,050
this procedure.
To be honest with you.
1086
01:00:01,085 --> 01:00:03,152
Oh, my God.
That stinger is huge.
1087
01:00:04,288 --> 01:00:06,824
Pontius, I'm trusting you
with my lips.
1088
01:00:06,856 --> 01:00:08,291
You can trust me,
I'm a doctor.
1089
01:00:09,992 --> 01:00:12,396
You want to just put him
on my mouth
1090
01:00:12,429 --> 01:00:13,597
and then fuck with him?
1091
01:00:14,798 --> 01:00:16,800
- Past her lip.
- Ooh!
1092
01:00:16,835 --> 01:00:18,434
Unh-unh. Unh-unh.
1093
01:00:18,469 --> 01:00:21,105
Just relax
and enjoy the procedure.
1094
01:00:22,039 --> 01:00:24,507
- Oh, he's on.
- Oh, no.
1095
01:00:28,878 --> 01:00:29,913
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my...
1096
01:00:29,947 --> 01:00:32,115
Ow!
1097
01:00:32,148 --> 01:00:34,050
- Boob job!
- I don't want it on my boobs!
1098
01:00:34,083 --> 01:00:36,119
I can't take him off your boob
unless you give me permission.
1099
01:00:36,152 --> 01:00:37,856
Permission!
1100
01:00:37,887 --> 01:00:39,824
Consent!
1101
01:00:39,858 --> 01:00:41,525
I'm giving you consent!
1102
01:00:42,992 --> 01:00:45,429
- 21st Century, people.
- Yeah.
1103
01:00:45,461 --> 01:00:47,063
All right,
time to get stung in the face.
1104
01:00:47,097 --> 01:00:49,666
- Whoa.
- This is intense.
1105
01:00:53,003 --> 01:00:55,239
- Good job. Good job.
- He got it on my lip.
1106
01:00:55,271 --> 01:00:58,375
You're ready
for the red carpet.
1107
01:00:58,409 --> 01:01:01,813
Oh, shit. He's angry.
1108
01:01:01,846 --> 01:01:04,447
- Oh, shit!
- Whoa!
1109
01:01:04,481 --> 01:01:05,983
God dammit, doctor.
1110
01:01:11,288 --> 01:01:13,257
He definitely stung my chin.
1111
01:01:13,289 --> 01:01:15,893
Came for lips
and left with a new chin.
1112
01:01:15,925 --> 01:01:17,393
Do you feel sexier?
1113
01:01:17,427 --> 01:01:20,264
I'm feeling sexier by the minute.
1114
01:01:20,297 --> 01:01:22,132
- Do you have one more in you?
- Yeah, sure.
1115
01:01:22,166 --> 01:01:23,902
Let's make it count.
1116
01:01:23,934 --> 01:01:26,235
- He's coming.
- You got it, Doc.
1117
01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:33,878
Oh, my God,
that hurt so fucking bad.
1118
01:01:33,911 --> 01:01:36,980
- Oh, my God, that hurt so bad.
- It's true, it got her good.
1119
01:01:37,014 --> 01:01:39,282
That hurt bad.
1120
01:01:39,315 --> 01:01:41,786
Oh, shit.
1121
01:01:41,820 --> 01:01:44,320
Her lips are really
swollen now. That shit worked.
1122
01:01:44,353 --> 01:01:47,056
Oh, my lip is so fucked up,
you guys.
1123
01:01:47,090 --> 01:01:48,257
I feel fucked up.
1124
01:01:48,291 --> 01:01:50,027
But she looks great.
1125
01:01:56,099 --> 01:01:58,367
- Whoa, a VCR.
- Huh?
1126
01:01:58,402 --> 01:01:59,871
A VCR.
1127
01:01:59,903 --> 01:02:02,206
So that's
a blast from the past, huh?
1128
01:02:02,505 --> 01:02:03,507
Bam!
1129
01:02:06,742 --> 01:02:09,246
Ah, that will work.
1130
01:02:16,652 --> 01:02:18,722
Dang.
1131
01:02:21,557 --> 01:02:24,327
Oh. Oh, my God.
1132
01:02:27,063 --> 01:02:28,498
Whoa! What?
1133
01:02:29,599 --> 01:02:32,836
- What the hell?
- What the fuck!
1134
01:02:32,871 --> 01:02:34,304
What happened?
1135
01:02:35,405 --> 01:02:38,509
Holy crap, I fell on my face.
1136
01:02:38,541 --> 01:02:41,077
- Are you okay?
- I'm okay, I just don't understand.
1137
01:02:41,110 --> 01:02:43,380
I don't understand why
you were using the toilet.
1138
01:02:43,413 --> 01:02:47,784
How did you end up here?
And you just took a shit...
1139
01:02:47,818 --> 01:02:50,286
- I didn't take anything.
- That was insane.
1140
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,088
What kind of person
are you?
1141
01:02:54,358 --> 01:02:58,061
We have every available fan
in Los Angeles on set today.
1142
01:02:58,094 --> 01:03:00,797
The two in the middle
go 100 miles an hour.
1143
01:03:00,831 --> 01:03:05,302
I'm Jasper, and I'm about to take
this gold chair to the fucking moon.
1144
01:03:13,911 --> 01:03:15,411
Oh!
1145
01:03:17,981 --> 01:03:20,583
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1146
01:03:24,755 --> 01:03:26,456
Oh, my God!
1147
01:03:27,690 --> 01:03:29,226
Oh, my God!
1148
01:03:32,094 --> 01:03:34,130
We have a winner!
1149
01:03:38,168 --> 01:03:39,536
Holy shit.
1150
01:03:39,570 --> 01:03:41,737
Oh, fuck.
I want to go again.
1151
01:03:43,606 --> 01:03:47,677
Now it's time for some
hot-shit water-skiing. Brah!
1152
01:04:00,222 --> 01:04:02,693
We need a medic.
Medic!
1153
01:04:04,427 --> 01:04:08,364
- Poops, you launched.
- Shit!
1154
01:04:08,398 --> 01:04:12,436
- Fuck, dude.
- Dude. Poopies! Poopies!
1155
01:04:12,702 --> 01:04:14,072
Poopies!
1156
01:04:16,139 --> 01:04:18,541
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Poopies!
1157
01:04:19,141 --> 01:04:20,376
It worked!
1158
01:04:28,251 --> 01:04:30,420
Oh, shit!
1159
01:04:31,054 --> 01:04:32,688
Dude.
1160
01:04:36,860 --> 01:04:38,295
Quiet, please! Filming.
1161
01:04:38,327 --> 01:04:41,898
Milk, milk, lemonade,
turn the corner and fudge is made.
1162
01:04:41,932 --> 01:04:45,103
Stick your finger in the hole.
Now you've got a Tootsie...
1163
01:04:47,105 --> 01:04:49,039
Hey, quiet please,
quiet please.
1164
01:04:49,072 --> 01:04:54,277
Everybody quiet.
So he can sing "Milk, Milk, Lemonade."
1165
01:04:56,079 --> 01:04:57,914
Okay this is serious.
Everybody shut up.
1166
01:04:59,181 --> 01:05:00,885
All right,
let's get some smoke.
1167
01:05:07,157 --> 01:05:12,396
Behold, our twisted souls have come to the
garden of death to dine with the devil.
1168
01:05:12,429 --> 01:05:17,266
It's time to sacrifice Wee Man's
juicy ass to the raptor from hell.
1169
01:05:18,668 --> 01:05:20,871
- Oh.
- Looking good.
1170
01:05:22,172 --> 01:05:26,576
- Assume the position.
- Which way? This way?
1171
01:05:28,512 --> 01:05:30,081
Just have fun with it.
1172
01:05:33,583 --> 01:05:35,085
What do you have
in there?
1173
01:05:35,119 --> 01:05:37,621
- Just me!
- That's not just you.
1174
01:05:37,653 --> 01:05:38,722
Go ahead.
1175
01:05:39,556 --> 01:05:41,793
Is that?
Wait, I'm not...
1176
01:05:41,826 --> 01:05:44,260
That's him!
1177
01:05:44,293 --> 01:05:47,731
When the beast
awakens, the monster arises.
1178
01:05:50,567 --> 01:05:51,467
Touche.
1179
01:05:51,501 --> 01:05:54,471
All right, whoa, dude, whoa!
1180
01:05:54,503 --> 01:05:56,173
Stuff it in his butt
and let's go.
1181
01:06:00,643 --> 01:06:03,981
Okay, there's enough
meat there.
1182
01:06:09,351 --> 01:06:11,054
And a cherry on top.
1183
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,559
Let the unholy
sacrament begin.
1184
01:06:16,592 --> 01:06:19,831
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God!
1185
01:06:19,864 --> 01:06:21,664
Ah, fuck!
1186
01:06:22,331 --> 01:06:23,632
Come.
1187
01:06:26,204 --> 01:06:28,704
Oh, okay!
1188
01:06:28,739 --> 01:06:31,474
- You got this.
- Oh, no!
1189
01:06:31,842 --> 01:06:33,342
Oh, shit!
1190
01:06:34,177 --> 01:06:36,114
Feast on his cock.
1191
01:06:42,152 --> 01:06:44,621
All right!
All right!
1192
01:06:46,523 --> 01:06:49,492
Stop, man.
Stop, don't do that.
1193
01:06:49,525 --> 01:06:53,998
As the blood rushes to the mast,
the beast awakens from his ancient slumber.
1194
01:07:02,840 --> 01:07:05,175
- He's bleeding.
- Fuck. Come on.
1195
01:07:05,208 --> 01:07:06,878
The beast
has drawn blood.
1196
01:07:06,911 --> 01:07:10,114
Jeff. Jeff, can I get out?
1197
01:07:10,148 --> 01:07:11,681
In a second.
In a second.
1198
01:07:11,715 --> 01:07:14,650
- Jeff.
- I would, but the bird's right here.
1199
01:07:14,684 --> 01:07:17,387
We're trying to get you
untied but the bird's here.
1200
01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:20,356
Before he returns to
hell, it's time for dessert.
1201
01:07:20,389 --> 01:07:21,690
Come on, let's go.
1202
01:07:25,394 --> 01:07:27,864
- Fuck!
- Don't kick the bird, Wee Man.
1203
01:07:27,898 --> 01:07:29,298
I didn't kick the bird!
1204
01:07:29,331 --> 01:07:30,835
It was the bird.
1205
01:07:30,867 --> 01:07:33,871
- Okay, let me out.
- Let him out.
1206
01:07:37,340 --> 01:07:40,277
Well, let's not let
this meat go to waste.
1207
01:07:40,309 --> 01:07:42,079
- Dark Shark?
- Shut up.
1208
01:07:42,112 --> 01:07:46,117
Hell, no, I ain't going near
none of that. Hell, nah.
1209
01:07:46,150 --> 01:07:47,717
Look at that motherfucker.
1210
01:07:47,751 --> 01:07:49,719
Dark Shark, come on,
just put it on your arm.
1211
01:07:49,753 --> 01:07:51,688
Hell, nah,
are you crazy?
1212
01:07:51,721 --> 01:07:53,556
- Yeah, Dark Shark.
- Come on!
1213
01:07:53,590 --> 01:07:55,960
- Dark Shark!
- Yeah!
1214
01:08:02,233 --> 01:08:05,936
- Hold your arm straight.
- Look at the camera.
1215
01:08:08,637 --> 01:08:10,807
Don't move. Don't move.
1216
01:08:10,842 --> 01:08:12,641
- Don't move.
- Stand still.
1217
01:08:12,675 --> 01:08:14,110
Ow!
He's biting my arm!
1218
01:08:14,144 --> 01:08:15,847
- No, he's not.
- He's clasping your arm.
1219
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:19,817
- Look at Rick! Look at Rick!
- He's too heavy! Get him off me!
1220
01:08:32,128 --> 01:08:35,564
Hey. Feel that shit, man. That
motherfucker was trying to hurt me, man.
1221
01:08:36,733 --> 01:08:39,703
I'm kind of embarrassed
right now. Like...
1222
01:08:40,837 --> 01:08:43,672
I came out of his penis, man.
That's how he acting?
1223
01:08:45,442 --> 01:08:47,043
Hood card taken away.
1224
01:08:50,412 --> 01:08:53,850
We have 15 gallons
of pig semen.
1225
01:08:53,885 --> 01:08:57,420
Turns out, pigs produce the
most semen of any animal.
1226
01:08:57,453 --> 01:09:00,556
Up to 17 ounces a load.
1227
01:09:00,590 --> 01:09:05,162
And the guys are going to think they
are getting interviewed about the movie.
1228
01:09:05,195 --> 01:09:08,932
And while they're sitting
there, something may happen.
1229
01:09:10,801 --> 01:09:13,603
There's crust on top of it.
1230
01:09:13,636 --> 01:09:17,774
Harvested gallons and gallons
of this. Does it smell like pig semen?
1231
01:09:17,807 --> 01:09:18,809
Does it smell?
1232
01:09:19,609 --> 01:09:21,112
Why are you looking at me
like that?
1233
01:09:23,046 --> 01:09:25,481
Oh, no!
1234
01:09:26,850 --> 01:09:28,886
It's semen all right.
1235
01:09:32,390 --> 01:09:34,591
Why am I the one to puke?
I don't puke.
1236
01:09:34,623 --> 01:09:36,193
I just wanted you
to smell it.
1237
01:09:36,226 --> 01:09:37,594
I wanted
to surprise you.
1238
01:09:37,627 --> 01:09:39,796
It's been a while since I ate
the horse semen but...
1239
01:09:40,430 --> 01:09:42,099
I think I prefer the pig.
1240
01:09:43,432 --> 01:09:45,502
Bacon's better than horse
meat, right?
1241
01:09:47,939 --> 01:09:51,876
I'm Tyler. And this is
the electric tap dance.
1242
01:09:51,908 --> 01:09:54,610
While these beautiful men
dance away,
1243
01:09:54,644 --> 01:09:56,613
I'm going to give my guy
Johnny Knoxville a look,
1244
01:09:56,645 --> 01:09:59,216
and he's going to put
some pep in their step.
1245
01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:02,118
It's going to shock
the shit out of them.
1246
01:10:02,153 --> 01:10:04,921
And if you're wondering if
the curtains match the drapes,
1247
01:10:04,956 --> 01:10:08,259
let me tell you, I tore those
drapes out a long time ago.
1248
01:10:11,162 --> 01:10:12,529
This is fucked.
1249
01:10:15,497 --> 01:10:17,801
Five, six, seven, eight.
1250
01:10:26,010 --> 01:10:29,212
That one hurt.
1251
01:10:29,246 --> 01:10:31,514
Shanna, what the fuck
is this under the seat?
1252
01:10:31,547 --> 01:10:32,716
What is this?
1253
01:10:32,748 --> 01:10:33,951
What the fuck is that?
1254
01:10:33,984 --> 01:10:36,153
- What?
- What is that?
1255
01:10:36,186 --> 01:10:37,354
What is that?
1256
01:10:37,387 --> 01:10:39,689
It's how they work,
look. This...
1257
01:10:39,722 --> 01:10:41,993
In tune? It's a piano.
1258
01:10:42,025 --> 01:10:44,661
No, it's metal right here.
I'm not fucking stupid.
1259
01:10:44,694 --> 01:10:47,965
All right, let's go.
Quiet!
1260
01:10:53,871 --> 01:10:56,506
Five, six, seven, eight.
1261
01:10:57,975 --> 01:10:59,609
Step and step.
1262
01:11:02,012 --> 01:11:03,579
Fuck!
1263
01:11:08,219 --> 01:11:09,551
Oh, shit!
1264
01:11:11,822 --> 01:11:13,289
Oh! Oh!
1265
01:11:39,748 --> 01:11:41,752
I still feel it in my ass.
1266
01:11:41,786 --> 01:11:44,788
- Yeah, Tyler.
- Those shits hit hard, man.
1267
01:11:44,822 --> 01:11:47,224
How about a hand
for our dancers?
1268
01:11:48,458 --> 01:11:50,127
Our showgirl!
1269
01:11:51,862 --> 01:11:54,097
And our choreographer,
Michael Rooney.
1270
01:11:55,365 --> 01:11:56,966
And Jeff Tremaine!
1271
01:12:00,470 --> 01:12:02,506
Jeff should sit on that.
1272
01:12:02,539 --> 01:12:04,975
Jeff, sit on that just once,
bro.
1273
01:12:05,009 --> 01:12:07,310
Who got that remote?
I fucking hate Jeff.
1274
01:12:10,413 --> 01:12:11,680
Wait, are you on it?
1275
01:12:22,359 --> 01:12:23,961
Holy shit!
1276
01:12:26,764 --> 01:12:29,100
All right, thanks man.
We'll do this real fast.
1277
01:12:30,301 --> 01:12:32,903
So we're going to go
from that to this. I just...
1278
01:12:32,936 --> 01:12:34,838
I got shocked so bad
so many times.
1279
01:12:34,872 --> 01:12:36,273
Are we rolling, guys?
1280
01:12:38,509 --> 01:12:42,645
He's about to have five gallons
of pig cum dumped on him.
1281
01:12:42,679 --> 01:12:44,680
Damn, that sounds like me
in London.
1282
01:12:46,216 --> 01:12:47,585
Oh, my God.
1283
01:12:47,617 --> 01:12:50,154
But how did he fucking
fall for this?
1284
01:12:50,820 --> 01:12:52,189
We don't question it.
1285
01:12:52,222 --> 01:12:55,259
My favorite Jackass stunt
of all time with me in it
1286
01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:57,659
is the firehose rodeo.
1287
01:12:57,694 --> 01:13:00,630
To be honest,
I drank late into the night,
1288
01:13:00,662 --> 01:13:02,332
woke up still drunk.
1289
01:13:04,135 --> 01:13:05,903
Oh, that's cum!
1290
01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:18,015
That's five gallons
of pig cum.
1291
01:13:18,047 --> 01:13:20,583
- You just got cummed on, dude!
- That's pig cum.
1292
01:13:20,618 --> 01:13:22,286
- Oh!
- What is it?
1293
01:13:22,619 --> 01:13:24,121
Pig cum.
1294
01:13:24,154 --> 01:13:25,256
Pig cum.
1295
01:13:27,524 --> 01:13:28,958
- Pig cum.
- That's pig cum?
1296
01:13:28,993 --> 01:13:31,095
That's pig cum.
Five gallons.
1297
01:13:31,127 --> 01:13:33,163
Honestly, I think
it tastes good.
1298
01:13:33,197 --> 01:13:34,697
I'm a vegetarian!
1299
01:13:38,701 --> 01:13:39,802
Watch the replay.
1300
01:13:39,837 --> 01:13:41,104
Watch, watch, watch.
1301
01:13:42,472 --> 01:13:44,774
Wait, wait, wait.
Watch his mouth.
1302
01:13:45,242 --> 01:13:46,310
Stay on his mouth.
1303
01:13:46,844 --> 01:13:49,046
Ready? And...
1304
01:13:49,546 --> 01:13:51,081
Poof.
1305
01:13:52,917 --> 01:13:55,351
- It went in his mouth.
- Right in his fucking mouth.
1306
01:13:55,386 --> 01:13:56,554
You look great.
1307
01:13:56,587 --> 01:13:58,255
I just said why can't I wear
my cool hat?
1308
01:13:58,288 --> 01:13:59,289
Now I know why.
1309
01:14:05,628 --> 01:14:07,264
Oh, God!
1310
01:14:07,297 --> 01:14:10,234
Oh, my God, dude!
1311
01:14:12,269 --> 01:14:15,171
So today, Ehren's going
to be wearing a shock collar.
1312
01:14:15,206 --> 01:14:18,676
And I'm going to administer
a lie detector test.
1313
01:14:18,707 --> 01:14:22,246
And if he's not truthful,
he's going to get stung.
1314
01:14:25,216 --> 01:14:26,417
Jesus, man!
1315
01:14:26,449 --> 01:14:27,618
You don't have to
feel that again
1316
01:14:27,650 --> 01:14:29,485
as long as you
tell the truth.
1317
01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:31,454
- Okay, but...
- Come on.
1318
01:14:31,488 --> 01:14:32,488
All right.
1319
01:14:35,391 --> 01:14:37,427
What is your name?
1320
01:14:37,461 --> 01:14:38,929
Kenneth Ehren McGhehey.
1321
01:14:39,863 --> 01:14:42,865
Okay, next question, Ehren.
1322
01:14:42,899 --> 01:14:45,802
Are you really allergic
to bees?
1323
01:14:46,502 --> 01:14:47,837
Yes.
1324
01:14:47,871 --> 01:14:51,375
Oh, boy,
I think he told a porky.
1325
01:14:51,408 --> 01:14:57,514
Ow! I'm fucking allergic to bees, man.
I got tested by doctors!
1326
01:14:58,515 --> 01:15:01,018
Stop it!
1327
01:15:01,051 --> 01:15:02,219
- What?
- Just for a second.
1328
01:15:02,252 --> 01:15:04,488
Just let me figure
some things out. Okay?
1329
01:15:04,520 --> 01:15:05,521
Okay.
1330
01:15:06,590 --> 01:15:08,158
I got to get out
of this thing.
1331
01:15:08,192 --> 01:15:11,561
- This will keep you immune to the bees.
- Oh, come on.
1332
01:15:11,595 --> 01:15:13,096
Are you fucking kidding me
right now?
1333
01:15:13,130 --> 01:15:14,497
I am trapped.
1334
01:15:14,530 --> 01:15:16,367
And you are putting honey
on me.
1335
01:15:16,399 --> 01:15:19,235
- And salmon?
- Yeah.
1336
01:15:19,270 --> 01:15:20,637
What are you doing?
1337
01:15:20,671 --> 01:15:22,305
Ehren, please relax.
1338
01:15:23,606 --> 01:15:25,009
You're making this
much worse
1339
01:15:25,042 --> 01:15:26,277
on yourself
than it needs to be.
1340
01:15:26,310 --> 01:15:28,345
No, it's not much worse,
it is that worse.
1341
01:15:28,378 --> 01:15:29,445
- No.
- Please.
1342
01:15:29,479 --> 01:15:30,713
Now I'm stuck in a room.
1343
01:15:30,747 --> 01:15:33,417
Everyone's going to leave.
Lights out.
1344
01:15:33,449 --> 01:15:36,052
The fucking honey
is in my eye!
1345
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:38,322
Oh, shit.
1346
01:15:46,430 --> 01:15:47,664
Oh, my God.
1347
01:15:49,132 --> 01:15:50,801
- I can't believe it.
- No fucking way.
1348
01:15:50,833 --> 01:15:52,368
Look at his face!
1349
01:15:52,403 --> 01:15:54,872
Ehren, remain calm.
1350
01:16:03,413 --> 01:16:05,015
Talk to it, Ehren.
1351
01:16:05,048 --> 01:16:06,115
Try to calm it down.
1352
01:16:06,149 --> 01:16:07,551
Oh, no.
He's going for the salmon.
1353
01:16:08,484 --> 01:16:11,287
- Oh, no.
- Hi, bear.
1354
01:16:11,322 --> 01:16:13,957
Are you really
allergic to bees, Ehren?
1355
01:16:18,862 --> 01:16:20,798
- Fuck!
- You're telling a porky!
1356
01:16:20,831 --> 01:16:22,565
I didn't even get to answer.
1357
01:16:24,902 --> 01:16:27,805
- No, no.
- Ooh!
1358
01:16:31,408 --> 01:16:33,609
Ehren, don't make
any sudden movements.
1359
01:16:38,481 --> 01:16:40,551
Oh.
1360
01:16:40,583 --> 01:16:42,820
There's nothing
more in there!
1361
01:16:42,853 --> 01:16:44,320
There's nothing more
in there!
1362
01:16:44,354 --> 01:16:46,489
Mr. Bear,
eat that dick.
1363
01:16:48,359 --> 01:16:51,028
I'm ready to come out
of this. I...
1364
01:16:51,627 --> 01:16:53,096
Uh-oh.
1365
01:16:53,130 --> 01:16:54,731
Fuck, dude,
he tried to bite my hand.
1366
01:16:54,765 --> 01:16:57,667
He's trying to bite my hand.
He's trying to bite my hand.
1367
01:16:57,701 --> 01:16:59,302
He's trying to bite my hand.
1368
01:17:00,671 --> 01:17:02,672
I don't know what...
Oh, my God!
1369
01:17:02,706 --> 01:17:04,006
Oh, my God!
1370
01:17:04,475 --> 01:17:05,943
Oh, God!
1371
01:17:06,609 --> 01:17:07,811
Oh, God!
1372
01:17:07,845 --> 01:17:10,480
Ow! Oh, my God,
he's going for my dick.
1373
01:17:10,514 --> 01:17:12,983
- I gotta go in.
- He's going for my dick, dude.
1374
01:17:13,015 --> 01:17:16,252
I wanna get outta here, man,
like I'm serious.
1375
01:17:16,886 --> 01:17:18,154
Please.
1376
01:17:18,823 --> 01:17:20,023
Please!
1377
01:17:21,492 --> 01:17:24,395
Yeah, Ehren!
1378
01:17:26,864 --> 01:17:28,800
Yeah, get him out of it.
1379
01:17:28,832 --> 01:17:31,135
I feel for you, bro.
1380
01:17:31,167 --> 01:17:32,871
- I feel for you.
- You're good, you're done.
1381
01:17:32,903 --> 01:17:34,003
You're done.
1382
01:17:34,037 --> 01:17:35,506
Is it... Is it actually over?
1383
01:17:38,842 --> 01:17:40,644
Yeah, buddy.
1384
01:17:41,511 --> 01:17:42,546
Oh, my God.
1385
01:17:44,381 --> 01:17:47,650
All right. I think this is
a perfect amount of "in it".
1386
01:17:47,684 --> 01:17:48,952
All right, let me...
1387
01:17:48,985 --> 01:17:50,087
Who's got it?
1388
01:17:50,119 --> 01:17:51,154
- I thought I had it.
- I got it.
1389
01:17:51,188 --> 01:17:52,689
All right.
This is gnarly.
1390
01:17:53,323 --> 01:17:54,925
This is a trip.
1391
01:17:54,957 --> 01:17:57,661
While you guys are tightening,
I'm going to have to hold the tip of it
1392
01:17:57,694 --> 01:17:59,930
just to keep it steady, huh?
1393
01:17:59,962 --> 01:18:02,666
Ooh, it's starting to take
a firm grip.
1394
01:18:02,698 --> 01:18:03,966
Look at it!
1395
01:18:05,135 --> 01:18:07,203
This is some medieval shit.
1396
01:18:07,237 --> 01:18:10,106
- This is all the way clear.
- No thanks, bro.
1397
01:18:10,140 --> 01:18:12,176
- Watch it, man.
- It's tight, man.
1398
01:18:12,877 --> 01:18:13,976
Oooh.
1399
01:18:14,011 --> 01:18:15,011
That don't hurt?
1400
01:18:15,045 --> 01:18:16,078
That's the weird part,
1401
01:18:16,113 --> 01:18:17,346
it doesn't really hurt.
1402
01:18:17,381 --> 01:18:18,347
Oh, my God.
1403
01:18:18,381 --> 01:18:21,385
Don't look now,
but it's flat as a pancake.
1404
01:18:21,417 --> 01:18:24,922
A lot of people ask, "What will
Jackass be like once we're older?"
1405
01:18:24,954 --> 01:18:27,291
Well, it'll get more mature.
1406
01:18:30,493 --> 01:18:32,229
Me and the homie be Googling
weird shit,
1407
01:18:32,261 --> 01:18:34,798
but like this would never
pop in their head.
1408
01:18:34,832 --> 01:18:36,399
This is brand new.
1409
01:18:36,432 --> 01:18:38,668
Yeah, you're for sure never
gonna be president.
1410
01:18:40,270 --> 01:18:41,872
You never know.
I'd vote for him.
1411
01:18:41,905 --> 01:18:44,006
Yeah!
1412
01:18:45,742 --> 01:18:47,144
The ball flap.
1413
01:18:47,176 --> 01:18:48,479
Wow!
1414
01:18:52,248 --> 01:18:54,251
Yes! Oh, my God!
1415
01:18:56,453 --> 01:18:57,287
Wow!
1416
01:18:57,320 --> 01:18:58,988
Now we know
what that's all about.
1417
01:19:03,426 --> 01:19:06,930
So, here we are
back at the bullring.
1418
01:19:06,965 --> 01:19:11,268
Even at a time when I wanted to
die, I wouldn't get in the bullring.
1419
01:19:11,301 --> 01:19:13,971
You know, when life
was its least valuable
1420
01:19:14,003 --> 01:19:15,974
I would have no part
in this bullshit.
1421
01:19:16,006 --> 01:19:17,640
And it's my
least favorite thing.
1422
01:19:17,673 --> 01:19:19,342
The movie's going so well.
1423
01:19:19,376 --> 01:19:21,377
Why the fuck
are we doing this?
1424
01:19:27,752 --> 01:19:29,485
God, dude!
1425
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,922
- I don't think he's very happy.
- No.
1426
01:19:31,956 --> 01:19:33,055
- Have you been around bulls before?
- No.
1427
01:19:33,090 --> 01:19:34,123
I've never been around
a bull
1428
01:19:34,157 --> 01:19:35,591
in my whole entire life.
1429
01:19:35,626 --> 01:19:36,627
Not a real one.
1430
01:19:37,862 --> 01:19:39,061
Oh, shit.
1431
01:19:39,363 --> 01:19:40,396
Oh, shit.
1432
01:19:42,900 --> 01:19:45,869
Hello,
I am Johnny the Magnificent.
1433
01:19:45,904 --> 01:19:51,307
Today, I am going to wow you with my
supreme skills of prestidigitation.
1434
01:19:53,011 --> 01:19:55,479
Oh, fuck! Oh, God! Oh, shit!
1435
01:19:55,913 --> 01:19:57,146
Woo-hoo-hoo!
1436
01:20:01,051 --> 01:20:03,086
Oh, no! Oh, shit!
1437
01:20:04,186 --> 01:20:06,122
Oh, no.
1438
01:20:06,155 --> 01:20:07,591
Jesus.
1439
01:20:07,623 --> 01:20:08,760
There we go.
1440
01:20:15,033 --> 01:20:16,099
He's okay.
1441
01:20:16,132 --> 01:20:17,734
Hey, J, talk to me. You okay?
1442
01:20:17,769 --> 01:20:19,368
You all right?
1443
01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:22,139
You doing okay?
Johnny?
1444
01:20:23,472 --> 01:20:24,975
He's gettin' back,
he's coming to.
1445
01:20:25,009 --> 01:20:26,275
He's coming back, yeah.
1446
01:20:26,310 --> 01:20:27,711
You all right?
1447
01:20:27,743 --> 01:20:29,046
That was a violent brawl.
1448
01:20:29,078 --> 01:20:30,581
One-sided to be sure.
1449
01:20:32,850 --> 01:20:33,885
Gnarly.
1450
01:20:33,917 --> 01:20:35,252
So we good, Jeff?
1451
01:20:35,284 --> 01:20:36,887
You got exactly
what you wanted.
1452
01:20:36,921 --> 01:20:38,588
- Yeah, Knox.
- Yeah, Knox.
1453
01:20:38,622 --> 01:20:40,157
Oh, fuck.
1454
01:20:40,189 --> 01:20:41,893
So what happened
after it hit me?
1455
01:20:41,926 --> 01:20:43,795
Dude, it's gnarly.
1456
01:20:43,828 --> 01:20:45,395
This is you, this is the bull.
1457
01:20:48,899 --> 01:20:50,434
He didn't
mess around, dude.
1458
01:20:50,466 --> 01:20:52,435
He turned around
and just nailed him.
1459
01:20:52,469 --> 01:20:54,404
- That was insane.
- Yeah, Knox!
1460
01:20:54,438 --> 01:20:57,239
It's probably the
biggest hit you've ever taken.
1461
01:20:58,140 --> 01:21:00,243
And that's why
he is the captain.
1462
01:21:00,277 --> 01:21:02,712
That bull didn't like
fucking magic.
1463
01:21:04,747 --> 01:21:06,248
Yeah, Knox, we love you!
1464
01:21:06,283 --> 01:21:07,484
Love you!
1465
01:21:08,019 --> 01:21:09,152
Captain!
1466
01:21:12,789 --> 01:21:13,791
Hello, Lance.
1467
01:21:14,993 --> 01:21:16,828
- Hello there.
- How are you?
1468
01:21:16,860 --> 01:21:18,194
Good. What's new?
1469
01:21:18,228 --> 01:21:22,800
Ah, I got a broken wrist,
broken rib, concussion.
1470
01:21:22,833 --> 01:21:25,469
But I was supposed to
pour the milk in the hat,
1471
01:21:25,502 --> 01:21:29,873
and then put the hat back on,
and no milk come out.
1472
01:21:29,907 --> 01:21:31,109
Did milk come out?
1473
01:21:31,140 --> 01:21:32,475
There was some milk
on the...
1474
01:21:32,509 --> 01:21:33,676
Oh, shit!
1475
01:21:36,279 --> 01:21:39,082
These guys are gonna get
on that centrifuge back there,
1476
01:21:39,117 --> 01:21:41,853
drink as much milk
as they can.
1477
01:21:41,886 --> 01:21:43,252
We're gonna see what happens.
1478
01:21:43,286 --> 01:21:45,721
This is the vomitron.
1479
01:21:45,756 --> 01:21:46,890
- Woo!
- Yeah!
1480
01:21:46,923 --> 01:21:48,524
Taste the rainbow.
1481
01:21:48,557 --> 01:21:51,261
- Taste the rainbow.
- Come on, guys.
1482
01:21:51,293 --> 01:21:54,463
If this is a race to see
who vomits first,
1483
01:21:54,497 --> 01:21:57,501
I think I might have it.
1484
01:21:58,702 --> 01:22:01,104
Zach, aim your head down
when you throw up.
1485
01:22:01,139 --> 01:22:03,372
It's comin' right at me.
1486
01:22:03,407 --> 01:22:04,608
Oh, God.
1487
01:22:04,640 --> 01:22:07,145
I can barely taste
the pig cum in this.
1488
01:22:07,210 --> 01:22:09,947
Right?
1489
01:22:09,980 --> 01:22:11,916
All right, chug, chug.
1490
01:22:11,948 --> 01:22:13,182
Oh, shit.
1491
01:22:13,684 --> 01:22:15,185
Here we go! Fuck me!
1492
01:22:15,217 --> 01:22:16,386
Just look at me, Eric.
1493
01:22:16,420 --> 01:22:18,587
- Pound that milk!
- Yeah, chug it!
1494
01:22:19,555 --> 01:22:20,590
Oh.
1495
01:22:20,623 --> 01:22:22,126
- Fuck it.
- Is he already puking?
1496
01:22:22,159 --> 01:22:23,592
Jasper!
1497
01:22:23,627 --> 01:22:26,363
- Drink your fucking milk!
- I'm trying! I'm fuckin' trying!
1498
01:22:26,395 --> 01:22:29,067
Let's pick up the speed!
Pick up the speed!
1499
01:22:29,100 --> 01:22:30,734
Whoo! It's pickin' up!
1500
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:34,637
Ah! Ahh!
1501
01:22:36,974 --> 01:22:38,641
What the fuck
did you eat?
1502
01:22:39,208 --> 01:22:40,543
What did he eat?
1503
01:22:42,679 --> 01:22:43,680
Go, go, go!
1504
01:22:51,922 --> 01:22:53,757
Oh, shit!
1505
01:22:53,791 --> 01:22:55,827
What's happening now?
1506
01:22:55,859 --> 01:22:57,226
There's an army truck.
1507
01:22:58,029 --> 01:22:59,462
Holy shit.
1508
01:23:00,198 --> 01:23:01,865
Oh, shit, Imma pass out!
1509
01:23:02,298 --> 01:23:03,365
I'm passing out!
1510
01:23:03,399 --> 01:23:05,168
Zach's passing out?
1511
01:23:05,203 --> 01:23:06,804
I'm passing out.
1512
01:23:06,837 --> 01:23:10,306
I can't drink the milk.
I'm going too fast.
1513
01:23:10,340 --> 01:23:13,845
Red Robin Three.
This is Big Hank Two.
1514
01:23:13,877 --> 01:23:16,378
I want the perimeter bombed,
God damn it!
1515
01:23:16,412 --> 01:23:18,582
Bomb them into the stone age,
son!
1516
01:23:22,052 --> 01:23:23,619
Stop!
1517
01:23:26,355 --> 01:23:28,591
Stop! Stop!
1518
01:23:30,127 --> 01:23:33,163
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
1519
01:23:33,197 --> 01:23:34,396
What the fuck?
1520
01:23:42,671 --> 01:23:44,274
Oh, no!
1521
01:23:44,975 --> 01:23:46,810
It's a paintball time!
1522
01:23:47,543 --> 01:23:48,880
Fire!
1523
01:23:53,216 --> 01:23:55,787
Stop! Stop!
1524
01:23:56,386 --> 01:23:59,389
No more! Oh!
1525
01:23:59,421 --> 01:24:01,490
I got shot
in the fuckin' mouth.
1526
01:24:05,896 --> 01:24:07,965
Ah! Dave! Dave!
1527
01:24:07,998 --> 01:24:09,966
Get on the stretcher!
1528
01:24:10,001 --> 01:24:11,368
Get on the stretcher.
1529
01:24:14,503 --> 01:24:16,841
Don't get me! Ah! Fuck!
1530
01:24:27,449 --> 01:24:29,719
Someday this war is gonna end.
1531
01:24:34,926 --> 01:24:36,393
I don't know how to get out.
1532
01:24:37,028 --> 01:24:39,362
Help me, Eric! Help me!
1533
01:24:42,833 --> 01:24:45,970
I love the smell of paintballs
in the morning!
1534
01:24:58,547 --> 01:24:59,548
Ow!
1535
01:25:01,185 --> 01:25:04,855
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
1536
01:25:05,488 --> 01:25:07,792
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
1537
01:25:11,028 --> 01:25:12,362
Ow! Oh!
1538
01:25:12,395 --> 01:25:15,765
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
1539
01:25:16,399 --> 01:25:17,868
Fuck, Jeff!
1540
01:25:19,302 --> 01:25:20,837
Look at Dave's face!
1541
01:25:20,872 --> 01:25:22,105
Look at...
1542
01:25:22,139 --> 01:25:26,710
- Oh, my God!
- Fuck off! Fuck all the way off!
1543
01:25:27,345 --> 01:25:30,213
Dude, what the fuck?
1544
01:25:30,247 --> 01:25:32,649
- I'm sorry, bro.
- That fuckin' hurt!
1545
01:25:33,515 --> 01:25:35,484
Get out there, get out there.
1546
01:25:35,518 --> 01:25:37,255
Poopies... Poopies is hurt.
1547
01:25:37,287 --> 01:25:39,323
- Are we done?
- Let me see.
1548
01:25:39,356 --> 01:25:43,261
- Oh, my God.
- Oh my God, damn!
1549
01:25:43,293 --> 01:25:44,627
My dick really hurts, man.
1550
01:25:44,661 --> 01:25:46,063
He got shot in the dick.
1551
01:25:46,963 --> 01:25:47,998
That was fucked!
1552
01:25:50,234 --> 01:25:51,667
Oh, God. Look at that.
1553
01:25:52,735 --> 01:25:54,171
It's gotta be
over, dude.
1554
01:25:54,204 --> 01:25:55,773
I can't get any more hurt.
1555
01:25:55,805 --> 01:25:57,875
I think we're all the way
finished, we're through.
1556
01:25:58,376 --> 01:25:59,777
Stick a fork in it.
1557
01:26:00,510 --> 01:26:01,811
We're done.
1558
01:26:05,082 --> 01:26:06,783
Oooh, is that
your tooth, dude?
1559
01:26:07,318 --> 01:26:08,518
Wow!
1560
01:26:08,551 --> 01:26:10,354
That's a wrap on the movie.
1561
01:26:28,505 --> 01:26:29,738
Oh!
1562
01:26:30,472 --> 01:26:32,909
Huh?
1563
01:26:38,983 --> 01:26:39,984
Oh, my God!
1564
01:26:42,252 --> 01:26:43,453
Oh, shit!
1565
01:26:43,485 --> 01:26:45,654
- Watch him get hit in the nuts!
- Oh, no!
1566
01:26:46,488 --> 01:26:47,757
Oh, fuck!
1567
01:26:48,692 --> 01:26:50,726
Did anyone even film that?
1568
01:26:50,761 --> 01:26:51,929
He was.
1569
01:26:57,567 --> 01:27:00,404
Oh, shit!
1570
01:27:00,438 --> 01:27:05,076
This is the cup that we used for P.K.
to hit me in the dick.
1571
01:27:05,109 --> 01:27:06,542
And apparently it worked.
1572
01:27:09,447 --> 01:27:11,648
But there's a big giant
dent in it.
1573
01:27:17,988 --> 01:27:19,122
Are you kidding me?
1574
01:27:19,622 --> 01:27:20,824
Flamingo.
1575
01:27:21,690 --> 01:27:23,659
Flamingo, pelican, eh!
1576
01:27:23,693 --> 01:27:24,795
Give that a whirl, yeah.
1577
01:27:24,828 --> 01:27:26,563
Probably, like,
her least concern.
1578
01:27:28,332 --> 01:27:29,800
That's awesome.
1579
01:27:29,833 --> 01:27:31,801
I didn't even know he could go
that fast.
1580
01:27:36,239 --> 01:27:38,908
Oh, my God!
1581
01:27:38,943 --> 01:27:41,045
I got shot with the
elephant gun yesterday.
1582
01:27:41,878 --> 01:27:43,512
Yeah, Parks!
1583
01:27:43,546 --> 01:27:46,884
Good job, dude!
You launched!
1584
01:27:46,917 --> 01:27:49,252
That was crazy.
1585
01:27:49,286 --> 01:27:53,090
Oh, fuck, yeah, you the main one
talkin' shit. Motherfucker, do it!
1586
01:27:53,123 --> 01:27:54,925
That's a hot mama.
1587
01:27:54,958 --> 01:27:55,792
Who's this?
1588
01:27:55,826 --> 01:27:57,360
He's my offspring.
1589
01:27:57,395 --> 01:27:59,262
For real, like, I've been
watching Jackass
1590
01:27:59,296 --> 01:28:03,067
- since I was like 12 years old, 10 years old.
- Right.
1591
01:28:03,100 --> 01:28:06,302
But it's definitely a big impact
on life and guess what? We're here.
1592
01:28:06,337 --> 01:28:07,938
We're here, baby!
1593
01:28:07,971 --> 01:28:10,207
Poopies doesn't have the
biggest penis in the world,
1594
01:28:10,240 --> 01:28:12,777
not the second biggest either.
1595
01:28:12,810 --> 01:28:15,645
I think I have the smallest
one out of the whole group.
1596
01:28:15,677 --> 01:28:21,152
That was what... That was what I was
most nervous about is showing it on...
1597
01:28:21,185 --> 01:28:22,453
to the whole world.
1598
01:28:22,485 --> 01:28:25,322
- Yeah.
- But that's what we're here for.
1599
01:28:30,726 --> 01:28:33,630
My name's Irving Zissman,
and I'm a prick.
1600
01:28:35,731 --> 01:28:37,234
And that's the truth.
1601
01:28:38,168 --> 01:28:40,703
I kind of feel like praying
right now.
1602
01:28:40,737 --> 01:28:42,907
Boom, boom. boom, boom.
1603
01:28:46,277 --> 01:28:47,609
Was that a prank?
1604
01:28:52,416 --> 01:28:54,385
Y'all ain't right, man.
1605
01:28:54,417 --> 01:28:57,354
That was beautiful.
1606
01:28:57,387 --> 01:28:58,956
I love you guys, man,
for that.
1607
01:28:58,988 --> 01:29:01,458
Did they put that goofy-ass
beard on in makeup?
1608
01:29:01,492 --> 01:29:02,827
You a hater.
I knew he was gonna come over
1609
01:29:02,859 --> 01:29:05,563
and say some fuck shit
about my nice-ass beard.
1610
01:29:05,595 --> 01:29:07,965
Yeah, 'cause that's...
1611
01:29:11,268 --> 01:29:12,936
Oh, my God!
1612
01:29:12,970 --> 01:29:14,371
Holy fuck.
1613
01:29:18,542 --> 01:29:20,944
Oh, my God, dude.
1614
01:29:21,345 --> 01:29:22,912
Come on, Zach!
1615
01:29:26,516 --> 01:29:27,751
Oh, God!
1616
01:29:29,587 --> 01:29:32,155
Oh, my, you missed the bucket.
1617
01:29:34,925 --> 01:29:37,194
I'm in the weirdest position.
1618
01:29:37,228 --> 01:29:40,264
All right, let's get that
camera ready with the 16 mil,
1619
01:29:40,296 --> 01:29:41,931
right down Main Street.
1620
01:29:46,735 --> 01:29:48,171
- Hey, Rick.
- Hey!
1621
01:29:58,414 --> 01:29:59,884
I was trying to look stoked.
1622
01:30:03,354 --> 01:30:05,256
There it is!
1623
01:30:05,288 --> 01:30:07,024
First time you got cummed on?
1624
01:30:07,056 --> 01:30:08,626
Yeah. For sure.
1625
01:30:08,658 --> 01:30:09,960
Or the second.
1626
01:30:14,663 --> 01:30:17,301
- I am, I have no...
- Okay, listen.
1627
01:30:17,333 --> 01:30:18,701
Did we get it?
1628
01:30:20,171 --> 01:30:22,305
- You just gotta take it.
- You just gotta go.
1629
01:30:22,338 --> 01:30:24,307
- Take it like a man.
- You just gotta take it.
1630
01:30:29,078 --> 01:30:30,079
Cut! Cut!
1631
01:30:30,712 --> 01:30:32,315
That's good.
1632
01:30:32,349 --> 01:30:34,284
Three, two, one!
1633
01:30:36,886 --> 01:30:40,323
- Ow, ow, ow!
- Ow, my hand's burned.
1634
01:30:40,356 --> 01:30:41,992
Ow, my hand's burning!
1635
01:30:42,025 --> 01:30:43,426
Hey, Dave.
1636
01:30:43,460 --> 01:30:44,761
- Dave, you good, bro?
- Yeah.
1637
01:30:44,795 --> 01:30:45,895
I'm all right,
I'll be all right.
1638
01:30:45,930 --> 01:30:47,198
I'm just going... I am burned.
1639
01:30:49,966 --> 01:30:50,967
Oh, God!
1640
01:30:51,234 --> 01:30:52,235
Fuck!
1641
01:30:55,939 --> 01:30:57,274
How's his head?
1642
01:31:01,444 --> 01:31:03,079
Can't have nothin' nice,
can I?
1643
01:31:06,216 --> 01:31:08,886
Will you make him an actual
coffee, Stephanie, thank you.
1644
01:31:08,918 --> 01:31:11,287
- Oh, dude.
- Here, I made you another one.
1645
01:31:11,322 --> 01:31:12,323
Awesome.
1646
01:31:30,006 --> 01:31:31,675
That's actually
not the milkshake.
1647
01:31:31,708 --> 01:31:32,909
All right!
1648
01:31:33,711 --> 01:31:35,479
Dude wanted to be
just like me.
1649
01:31:36,546 --> 01:31:38,548
What? Dude, that's sick.
1650
01:31:38,582 --> 01:31:41,618
Trailer moment.
Don't move.
1651
01:31:46,090 --> 01:31:47,091
We ready?
1652
01:31:49,260 --> 01:31:50,261
Huh?
1653
01:31:50,627 --> 01:31:52,128
He's ready.
1654
01:31:52,162 --> 01:31:54,265
So we're all ready to do this?
1655
01:31:54,297 --> 01:31:55,365
We're ready.
1656
01:31:55,399 --> 01:31:57,134
Everyone rolling?
1657
01:31:57,167 --> 01:31:59,302
Oh, no! Oh, no!
1658
01:32:03,239 --> 01:32:04,875
Oh, my God!
1659
01:32:04,908 --> 01:32:07,877
- Wow!
- That is legit right there.
1660
01:32:07,911 --> 01:32:10,314
Let me get in on that one.
1661
01:32:10,346 --> 01:32:12,850
I'm running around in a
G-string for a living.
1662
01:32:12,882 --> 01:32:14,652
You are making a living
at that right now.
1663
01:32:14,685 --> 01:32:15,719
Yeah.
1664
01:32:15,753 --> 01:32:16,953
It looked good on you.
1665
01:32:18,756 --> 01:32:22,426
I summon Sarcophilus Satanicus
1666
01:32:22,458 --> 01:32:26,997
to come and eat the flesh
of the wallaby.
1667
01:32:27,030 --> 01:32:29,099
I can totally see through
Steve-O's.
1668
01:32:34,904 --> 01:32:37,975
This is so gross, man.
1669
01:32:38,007 --> 01:32:40,043
Can we get one with the finger
in your mouth?
1670
01:32:43,212 --> 01:32:46,317
I'm gonna shit my pants before
we get to that fuckin' place.
1671
01:32:46,350 --> 01:32:49,019
I'm Dave England
and I got to take a shit.
1672
01:32:53,256 --> 01:32:55,492
I hope you're gonna
get that son of a bitch.
1673
01:32:55,525 --> 01:32:59,128
I took a huge coil in
there and it stunk so bad.
1674
01:32:59,162 --> 01:33:02,832
Weren't you on 90210 not too long ago...
1675
01:33:10,039 --> 01:33:11,274
Hey, come here. Jump...
1676
01:33:13,778 --> 01:33:16,113
Get it off!
Get it off!
1677
01:33:16,145 --> 01:33:18,047
Hold the collar up
so I can see it.
1678
01:33:21,618 --> 01:33:23,554
Did I get you?
1679
01:33:23,587 --> 01:33:28,827
We're going to convince Kosick that
this is a piece of audio equipment.
1680
01:33:28,859 --> 01:33:30,961
Unbeknownst to him,
he's gonna be shocked.
1681
01:33:30,993 --> 01:33:32,363
Yeah, it's a microphone.
1682
01:33:32,395 --> 01:33:33,396
I don't hear nothing.
1683
01:33:40,371 --> 01:33:41,604
Stop it now. Stop it.
1684
01:33:44,608 --> 01:33:46,009
Hey, let's eat.
1685
01:33:46,042 --> 01:33:47,677
Who wants some?
1686
01:33:47,711 --> 01:33:48,912
Face your fears.
1687
01:33:50,881 --> 01:33:55,185
He put his hands down!
What a pussy. Don't look.
1688
01:33:55,219 --> 01:33:58,255
Dude, just kick back.
It's not like we really care.
1689
01:33:59,456 --> 01:34:00,657
Dude, dude!
1690
01:34:03,394 --> 01:34:04,694
Ow, ow! Dude!
1691
01:34:04,728 --> 01:34:06,430
Dude! Chill!
1692
01:34:06,462 --> 01:34:07,965
Chill, dude!
1693
01:34:07,997 --> 01:34:09,432
It's for the movie, dude.
1694
01:34:10,033 --> 01:34:12,469
He kicked your ass, dude.
1695
01:34:16,739 --> 01:34:18,542
How's Raab not in this?
1696
01:34:18,574 --> 01:34:20,476
I'm the smart one.
I already know what's going to happen.
1697
01:34:20,511 --> 01:34:23,313
Hey, I'm Raab Himself
and this is Bungy-Wedgie.
1698
01:34:32,956 --> 01:34:34,358
Watch out.
1699
01:34:39,662 --> 01:34:40,697
Stop it!
1700
01:34:44,769 --> 01:34:46,136
Oh! You got my nuts!
1701
01:34:47,003 --> 01:34:48,604
Oh, man, I'm stuck.
1702
01:35:07,090 --> 01:35:09,359
And cut.
1703
01:35:54,900 --> 01:35:57,900
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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