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Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.Com/kaboomskull

Very impressive resume.

4.0 gpa in your business classes and 3.5 overall.

Four usually on the debating team.

Yes, ma'am.

Now really, how was that experience?

Wonderful.

I mean, exciting to say the least.

We traveled all over the country,

probably went against future politicians, governors, mayors.

Bottom line, Mrs. Johnson, is I'm a go-getter

and I'm a hard worker and I would be honored

if you would give me an opportunity

right out of grad school

to start with your company.

Well, you applied for a data entry position.

I mean, I have no doubt that you would do well,

given your skillset,

but where do you see yourself within this company

within 10 years?

Honestly?

Honestly.

I see myself as the hr manager.

My job.

Yes, ma'am.

Uh.

I like your ambition.

Welcome to Johnson and Shaw.

Really?

Look, Ms. Johnson, thank you for the opportunity.

All right.

I promise you won't regret this.

All right?

Best decision you ever made.

I'll see you on Monday.

He took it to the left side

and wound up going into two defenders.

That was just a great play to split those two defenders

by Paul Anthony to get into the paint.

- What's up, Rob? - My man, right on time.

Yeah, ordered us some beers.

Thanks.

Tell me we're celebrating.

Tell me we're celebrating.

Hired on the spot.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, look, look.

Pay ain't all that good right now,

but hey, it's a start, right?

Stop tripping, it's a j.

Guess all them late night study sessions

with Jasmine paid off, huh?

You better call and thank her.

Man, dude, don't even bring that girl up.

You know it took my whole senior year

just to get her ass out of my head.

I bet her number's still saved in your phone.

Hey, what you got it saved as?

As in don't answer, as in I'm done answering

all these mood killing ass questions, man.

Come on, man.

My bad, my bad.

Mm.

Good shot, good shot.

Hey, you see them chicks over there?

Where?

Over there.

Where?

Let's go say hi.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Let's go say hi.

Oh, hell no, man.

Look at them.

Look, all they gonna do is ask us to buy them a drink

and we ain't even gonna get no play.

Between me and you, I'm down to my last $10

and I need that to get home on the train.

You can't let money interfere with fate.

Walk, you're getting fat anyway.

Besides one of them could be Mrs. David Russell.

Man, we gotta find you a job.

You're watching way too much romcoms when you broke.

Look at her though.

Yeah, they are fine.

I want that one.

You know what?

Come on.

Let's go.

- You all right? - Mm-hmm.

Come on.

Good evening, ladies.

How are you doing this evening?

Oh, we're good.

We're just here to have drinks.

Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt,

but my friend over here thinks

that you are absolutely breathtaking

and he wanted to know if he can have

the privilege and honor of just knowing your name.

Oh, can your friend talk?

Yes, I can, beautiful.

My name is Rob.

My name is Michelle and this is my friend Stacy.

Hi.

How you doing Stacy?

My name is David.

Nice to meet you, David.

And congratulations on your new job.

- You? - Yeah I did.

You guys were pretty loud.

Look, look, I'm sorry about all that,

but thank you anyway.

No need to apologize.

That is something most definitely worth celebrating.

How about I buy you a drink?

Well actually, I was gonna see

if I can buy you a real drink.

Oh, you were?

How 'bout you save your last $10 for something else.

- You heard that too? - Uh-huh.

Oh man, how embarrassing.

Look, things are about to change, right?

Yes, yes they are.

Yes they are.

Just know that you are a loud drunk.

So, what do you do?

I'm an entrepreneur.

Oh, how exciting?

You know, I thought about doing that as well,

but I'm just so scared to quit nursing.

Anyway, so what field are you in?

Real estate?

You got your own coffee shop.

I drive uber.

Are you okay?

I'm good.

Yeah girl, I'm a hustler.

I just signed up on lyft too.

Oh my god.

So, I'm gonna give you a call, right?

No you not.

How you gonna do that?

I haven't even given you my number.

You're gonna give it to me, right?

I'm not looking for a relationship.

Well, neither am I, look, I can cook you something.

You like soul food?

I'm from Louisiana.

What you got?

Oh, see, okay, I got some smothered chicken and rice,

some Mac and cheese, some candied yams.

Some cornbread, it'll knock your socks off, girl.

So, what you say?

You know, I buy my groceries, I come to your house.

No, I'll come to your house.

Give me your number.

And no funny business either.

I always carry my nine.

Oh, no guns.

I carry my nine two.

Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Stacy.

Likewise, Mr. David.

Look, I'm gonna give you a call

and we'll set that thing up.

You better.

Don't make me regret giving you my number.

Oh, I promise.

Have a good night.

You too.

Text me when you make it home, okay.

Will do.

- Bye. - Bye.

Man, tonight was a good night.

Yes sir, yes sir.

This fruit is so amazing.

I had a great time with you today.

Bike riding, feeding the fish.

I mean, the seagulls were cool too

till they almost ripped my finger up.

That's because you're supposed to throw

the food up in the air.

Not supposed to hold out your palm

and let 'em eat from your hand.

Come on, you're not feeding no damn shih tzu.

I'm really glad that you came out here with me today.

Yeah.

I'm even more glad that you had a good time.

I come out here a lot, kind of think and relaxed, you know?

Yeah.

You know, this scenery will most definitely

make you forget about the real world.

Indeed.

So, when was the last time you were here?

You know, just to relax.

It's been awhile.

Yeah.

Probably about a year or so.

I used to come out here early in the morning

and just swim as far as I could.

From her.

Her?

What do you mean?

Somebody I used to date?

Oh.

You know, it's funny, we started off as good friends.

We had mutual friends

so we used to always hang out together,

party together, probably said bye and hugged

a thousand times.

Just one day after a group study session we hugged goodbye

and I don't know,

something was different, something sparked.

Yeah.

So, we went out a couple of times, kissed,

hold hands, and expressed feelings for one another.

You know, all that honeymooning crap.

Did everything you do in a relationship,

but we never had sex though.

Really?

I mean, why not?

What was holding you two back?

Well, she was kinda already involved with somebody else.

Oh.

And so she didn't wanna cheat on her boyfriend.

Least not sexually anyway.

Sounds like she was leading you on.

I'm sorry.

Oh no, no, it's cool.

After a while I just told her I couldn't do this anymore

and stopped answering her calls.

You must a really loved her, huh?

Yeah, I did.

You know, the funniest thing is,

is I didn't even realize how much until I ghosted her.

You know?

So, do you still love her?

I mean, have you truly moved on?

Oh yeah.

Look, trust me, that ship has sailed a long time ago.

There's only one woman that has my interest now.

One woman that has my full, undivided attention.

Oh yeah?

Wonder who she is.

So, who knew the uber, lyft entrepreneur

was such a great cook and a wonderful dancer?

I did.

I'm happy you found out though.

See, can't go judging the car by the rim.

You fucking it up, but okay.

So, I see you really love cooking.

You take a lot of pride in it.

You ever thought about,

you know, doing it full time?

So, put my uber, lyft business on a back burner?

Yeah, I mean, you can always come back to that.

You know what?

I got a friend that got his own restaurant

and he looking for a cook.

Your dry.

Thank you.

But I'm a chef, not a cook.

I don't wanna work for anyone.

You can do this.

We all gotta start somewhere.

You'd have your own catering business in no time.

- And one more thing. - What's that?

I'm never dry.

Ms. Johnson,

I'm gone for the day.

Where you going in such a hurry?

Oh, I got a hot date tonight.

Oh, go ahead with your bad self.

Look, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?

- All right, okay. - All right.

Thank you for that wonderful meal, bae.

You're welcome, babe.

- Happy one year anniversary. - Same to you.

I got a little something for you.

You do?

My favorite words, you have something for me.

Hey baby, you got a little lipstick on your teeth.

- What? - Yeah.

Oh man, bae, you know I hate that.

Baby, there's nothing on my-

- Stacy, baby I love you so much.

I mean, from the first day that I met you,

I knew there was something special about you.

Something special about us.

You make me wanna believe in myself again.

You're perfect.

Because of you, I believe in miracles

'cause I know god made you just for me.

I wake up every morning

so happy and joy in my spirit, in my heart

and I wanna continue to have that type of happiness

every day for the rest of my life.

So, I'm asking.

Stacy, will you marry me?

Yes.

- Yes. - Yeah?

I love you too.

So, David finally put a ring on it, huh?

Yes, he did.

Look at that rock, girl, it's gorgeous.

Thank you.

And what do you mean, finally?

We've only been dating a year.

Oh yeah, bae, you all can put the table there.

All right, that's it for now.

You can go ahead and take a break.

- I'm tired. - Thank you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're thirsty, right?

Can you all get us some water?

What?

I thought we was on break?

Go ahead, rest from barking orders.

Y'all must be parched.

Come on, man.

You're so good to me, babe.

He's amazing.

What's wrong with you, man?

Come on, man, you know what they say, right?

Happy wife, happy life.

Why do you think they got no slogans for me?

Like more sucky, happy hubby.

Something wrong with you, man?

- Come on. - That's not true.

No, I always knew you'd be the first one

to get out the game.

These streets ain't shit.

So, how'd it feel to be making that plunge?

I'm not gonna lie.

It feel good, man.

I mean, she's perfect, dude.

She beautiful.

She's smart.

She got a good job.

I mean, we don't argue.

We don't fight.

She don't complain.

I mean, none of that silly shit.

She laugh at all my corny-ass jokes.

Oh, and getting it every night.

Every night, getting it in.

You know what I'm saying?

Hey, I'm going out on top like mj, baby.

You must be forgetting them years at Washington.

So, when the wedding anyway?

In three months, dude,

I can't wait, bro.

Hey, it's gonna be off the hook.

I'm only doing this once.

But, that's paid for.

Now your best man could come up with your bachelor party.

Hey, hey, you better make it epic too.

Oh, it's gonna be dope.

Yeah, I'm serious.

And then we can see if you and her survive cohabitation.

Cohabitation?

What you mean by that?

I mean, I know I'm moving into her apartment and all,

but you know, ain't shit gonna change, man.

- You know that. - Nah.

Nigger, do you hear yourself?

You don't even believe that shit.

I'm saying it.

I mean, yeah, yeah, it's her apartment,

but she gonna know i'm the man of the house.

- I'm the man. - You're the man.

- Gonna put my foot down. - Put that foot down.

Rules down, yeah.

You know how it go.

This shit ain't gonna last.

What you mean by that, man?

So, he paying the bills, right?

We haven't quite discussed that just yet.

I mean the rent is really high

and he doesn't make a ton of money.

Girl, he broke?

No, no he's not necessarily broke,

but he's not on a nurse's salary.

I hear you, but I make Rob pay the rent

and the cable bill.

You do?

Yeah, he wanted to go half on everything.

I told that nigger, "we ain't roommates.

I don't fuck my roommates."

Michelle, Rob cannot afford your lifestyle.

I mean, I help out with the food

and the lights and some other stuff.

But, it's no all about the money.

Yeah, you're right.

I love his silly little ass.

And girl, he loves me.

He is silly.

Every day after work,

we take a shower and he rubs my feet.

- What? - And he tells me

about his day.

Sounds like he'll be popping

a big question pretty soon.

Girl, I already told him my ring size.

You didn't.

Seven.

And you know, I don't care how much the ring costs,

but it gotta be at least two carets.

- Two carets? - Yeah.

Wow.

David?

Is that you?

Jasmine?

Oh my gosh.

It's so good to see you.

I love the suit.

- Thank you, thank you. - You crossing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are you doing?

You are looking at the newest team member

of exquisite marketing.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I'm actually about to meet up with my girlfriends

at the bar to celebrate.

You should come.

It'd give us some time to catch up before I move to Austin.

Oh, moving to Austin, huh?

- Yeah. - Good.

See you putting that business degree to work, I see.

Indeed.

Look, I would love to come, but I can't.

Kinda gotta be somewhere.

I get it.

You still have my number?

Yes, I do.

Well, then I look forward to hearing from you.

Okay.

- It was good seeing you. - Likewise.

- Hey bae, that you? - Hey, babe.

I didn't mean to wake you.

It's okay.

How was your day?

Long.

Anything interesting happen?

No.

Same o', same o'.

Goodnight, bae.

Goodnight.

My dude, you showed so much restraint

by not taking that drink with Jasmine.

Apart from the obvious though, being Stacy,

why didn't you?

Why didn't I, are you serious?

Let me ask you a question, man.

Would you give an alcoholic a drink?

Or a fat kid on a diet some cake?

Or better yet a junkie a hit?

Yeah.

So, Jasmine a bad drug?

The worst kind, my dude.

The worst kind.

Crack.

More like meth, you hear what I'm saying?

One hit and Stacy gonna be up, putting up posters,

passing out flyers, asking strangers,

"have you seen this man?"

Man, whatever, dude.

Look, that's why I had to get up out of there.

You see what I'm saying?

Look, I got a good thing going with stace.

I ain't trying to mess that up, you know?

I mean she's smart, she's beautiful,

she take good care of me.

Look, I don't need any distractions

and I damn sure don't need any words,

if you know what i'm talking about.

So, how she look?

Dude, finer the a mother fucker, man.

I'm telling you, man, she has not changed since college.

I mean her smile, her hair, her lips,

her feet, them legs, that bodied, that ass.

Boy, still looking good.

Rob?

What the hell you doing?

Don't stop.

How her ass taste?

Man, shut the hell up, man.

You stupid fool.

I forgot you ain't went there far.

Whatever.

Oh, you know she moving to Austin, right?

- Oh yeah? - Yup.

So, that's the universe doing you want to Stacy a favor.

Stacy love you.

Stay away from Jasmine's fine ass.

You know you're not helping, right?

I'm not supposed to.

Yeah, you're right.

She is finer than a mother fucker, though.

Boy, mm, mm, mm.

Her mama got some good genes, you hear what I'm saying?

She gonna mess around, get her bills paid.

Not by me though.

- Oh, I'm home. - Hey, bae.

Long day at work?

You have no idea.

But I'm home now.

Missed you too.

Getting some work done?

Yeah.

My supervisor granted me with the pleasure

of writing her oral presentation

for tomorrow's meeting.

Tony quit, so now I'm gifted

with more responsibility and the pressure

if it all goes wrong.

Ah, any raise in pay?

No, well not yet at least.

Hopefully if this all goes well,

I eventually be shift supervisor.

Well, I know everything's gonna work out in the end.

I hope so.

You hungry?

Hell yes.

I had to skip lunch today I had so much work to catch up on.

What you got?

Chicken salad coming right up.

Ooh, that's what i'm talking about?

Did you get my favorite dressing?

- I did. - The balsamic?

- Yes. - You know I like that.

I got you.

Oh man.

See what's on this TV.

News.

Look at that baby, more drama.

Yep, as usual.

Oh thanks, stace.

You're welcome, bae.

Just make sure you don't waste any of it on my couch.

You know, I usually don't allow people to eat over here.

Excuse me?

What?

This is your couch?

You usually don't let people eat over here?

Look, babe, this is our house now, okay?

Which means this is our couch

and I can eat anywhere I want to, all right?

Take it easy, bae, okay?

I didn't mean anything by it.

Look, I just like for things to stay nice and neat.

Yeah, okay.

Besides, I paid $3,000 for that couch

and I got it before we met.

- So. - So what?

What you trying to say?

What, I wasn't shooting with you in the gym?

Is that what you're trying to tell me?

You know what?

I'm gonna go buy my own couch.

That way I can sit there,

eat there, sleep there, and do whatever I want to.

How about that?

Why are you fronting?

Now you know you need to save up.

Oh, so you talking shit now.

Don't curse at me.

I'll say whatever the fuck I want to.

How about that?

Know what?

Look, let's not do this, all right?

I don't even know why we arguing anyway.

Something about this being your house,

your couch, your rules when I pay half the bills up in here.

That's what this is about.

Really, David?

Really?

I'm just gonna go take a shower.

Thank you for dinner.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

Hello?

Hey.

Look, I'm headed to work.

Okay.

Hey look, I'm sorry about last night.

I really didn't mean anything by it.

Look, I know, all is forgiven.

It's in the past.

Okay, so, I'll see you later.

You bet.

Have a good day at work.

You too.

Ms. Johnson, you wanted to see me?

Yes, have a seat, have a seat.

Is something wrong?

Oh no, no, no.

On the contrary,

I just wanna thank you for a great job

that you are doing.

Much appreciated.

Thank you, Ms. Johnson, I try.

Listen, we are having

a supervisor training session next week

and I'd like to know whether you're interested

in the junior coordinator position.

- Are you serious? - Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

I mean, of course I would be.

I mean, yes I accept.

Well deserved.

Get your affairs in order

because I need you in Austin all next week

and Rita will give you your transportation information

and your meal vouchers.

Did you say Austin?

Yes.

Is there a problem?

No, no, of course not.

It'll be great.

Then it's settled.

Just great.

And don't have too much fun on sixth street, okay?

Yes ma'am, thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Good job.

To my boy, David's, promotion.

And to having more options in and outside of work

and enough to buy furniture, cash.

Okay, okay, I see what you did.

We toast.

Hey, how much money are we talking anyway?

50% raise.

Drinks should be on you.

Yeah, whatever, you taking me out.

Oh man, oh, tell me, man,

how's the cooking job coming?

Oh man, I love it.

I think I finally found my calling.

Sometimes I peek out the back

to see the customers enjoying their food that I prepared

and it's the best feeling in the world.

That's what's up, man?

No bullshit, man, i'm proud of you, dog.

Not gonna lie, I was Kina worried for a minute, man.

I didn't know how long you could be

a uber, lyft, lyft, uber driver.

You know what I'm saying?

I mean, I know you like your freedom and all.

Freedom is cool, but it's nothing like stability, you

know?

Spoken like a man.

Give it a couple years and I think I'll be ready

to own my own restaurant.

Yeah.

Michelle's got a diner that she used to have

and it's just sitting around collecting dust.

I think I might ask her about it.

Man, you should, dude.

Why sleep on it?

And I see you Michelle coming right along.

Everything good, I see.

I mean, y'all shacking up and shit the now, huh?

We make it work.

You know, I cook, she cleans

and everything we disagree on in between, she's right.

Hey man, that's how life is.

Like I always say happy wife, happy-

- you know it. - All right.

Speaking of life, what'd she say about the promotion?

I haven't told her yet.

I'm gonna tell her tonight when I get home.

Remember, Austin is a business trip.

Here you go.

Hey, keep the fun at home, sir.

Peace is at home.

Hey look, I'll drink to that.

The next shot's on you.

I got it, I got it.

Hey, two more.

Mr. Promotion man.

- Hey, 50% - 50%.

Went from a corolla to a camry.

What?

You know what I'm talking about.

You gonna be picking them up?

Zoom, zoom.

Yeah, well.

So, you said we got a big old banana peel head looking

at his boy, Mark.

Man, why you gotta be all that?

But no, it's over.

But, I do have a guy that I've been seeing

every now and then for about a year.

Okay, okay.

I think we call those Booty calls.

I like to think of it as us

just enjoying each other's company at the moment.

And I like to think of it as that slick way

of trying to put it, but you know what?

Look, I get it, all right.

Mama got needs too, right?

Listen, my job is so demanding.

I barely even have time for me.

And I love it though.

You know, I'm the only female in the department.

Oh, oh, oh.

And I know you love the challenge

of trying to show those man up at work.

And you know me so well.

Not as well as old dude.

David.

Sorry.

- I gotta take this. - Sure.

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah.

I miss you too.

Hey look, I'm about to eat some dinner right now, okay?

So, let me finish up here and I'll give you a call back

and you can hear my voice for as long as you want.

Deal?

Okay.

I love you too, bye.

Sorry about that, I had to take that call.

So, you married?

I don't see a ring.

Oh no, no, no.

I'm engaged.

I see, lucky woman.

Actually I'm the lucky one, she's a good girl.

I mean, she always there when I need her,

she never keeps me at an arm's reach.

So, she knows what she wants.

She, let you fuck.

Yeah, that too.

That's one of her better qualities.

Look David, you know what we have, had,

it was special.

I know you felt it.

Of course, I did.

I never felt that way about anyone before.

Now?

Let me ask, do you ever love me?

David, of course I did.

I just, I was with Mark and I was in the church

and I didn't want a lot of god or Mark.

And what about yourself?

What about me?

It just wasn't our time, you know?

I guess it still isn't.

Let's go grab some dinner.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Good evening everyone, how we doing today?

- Good. - Good.

So, we all know why we're here today, right?

We're talking about upgrades

to management positions, right?

Well, my name is Courtney Washington.

Give you a little background on me.

I graduated with my master's from Texas southern university.

I've been here with the company about four years now.

I love what I do.

We're gonna go into orientation today.

We're gonna talk about some things, housekeeping,

what's expected of you from the company,

what department you'll be heading up,

and how many people you'll be managing.

Thanks again, baby.

Beats looking at the hotel walls.

I see I'm your alternative again, huh?

Now you know what it feels like.

Ouch.

You really never gonna let me live this down, huh?

Well, never is such a long time.

How 'bout we'll just see.

How 'bout we start with these mochas.

Actually, I can't even believe you remembered.

Of course, how could I ever forget

your favorite flavor of coffee.

Man, it's beautiful out here.

- It's hot, but nice. - Better than Houston.

So, tell me, how are you adjusting to your new city?

Oh, you know what, honestly, I love it here.

The music, the art, the culture.

I never have a hard time finding marketing inspiration.

Last time I was in Austin was, oh the Texas relays,

you remember that?

How could I forget?

It was eight of us in a two-bedroom hotel.

We slept head to foot.

Everybody except for Rob.

He was porking my girl in the back with his junk all night.

He pitched a tent for at least two hours.

Till he caught blue balls.

Shit, my man was in hella pain.

Rob ain't seen that much ass in one room in his life.

You hear me?

Boy lost his damn mind?

How is Rob anyway.

Oh, he's good.

You know he's a cook now.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Are we talking about the same Rob?

Same old Rob.

And he's actually dating my fiance's best friend.

That's cute.

I bet y'all have cute little game nights on Thursdays, huh?

Real funny.

Actually Michelle, that's Rob's girlfriend's name,

she kind of suggested that we start game nights.

Who knows.

Maybe we'll start.

Maybe you should.

I know what we should start.

What?

We should start walking.

- Come on. - Walking?

We just sat down, Jasmine.

Come on, I got some stuff I wanna show you.

Apparently y'all walk too much in Austin for me, man.

Weren't the uber, lyft, something?

It's right over here up the hill.

- Up the hill. - Up the hill?

I had a good time tonight.

Me too.

You know, I called you for a year straight.

No texts, no emails, no nothing.

And it really hurt me.

And for awhile I couldn't even understand why

until I finally realized,

I was really being a bitch.

I was selfish.

I wanted you whenever, wherever,

and I didn't promise you anything.

Not even sex.

You know it was never about the sex.

Sometimes it's about love and sex.

You wanna come up?

Yeah.

So, I should go.

Good night, David.

Good night, Jasmine.

Hey, bae.

How you doing?

How was your day?

Mine, it was okay.

Well, I miss you too.

Well, home sweet home.

I can't believe a week is over already.

It went by so fast.

Yeah, it didn't go by pretty fast didn't it?

So, you headed back to Houston tomorrow?

Yup.

Right after the conference, back on home.

I would ask you to come up, but the last time I did that.

Yeah, Jasmine, look,

I don't think it's a good time right now.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Look, I can't do this.

All right?

I have a fiance.

She's a good woman.

She don't deserve this.

I gotta go.

Good night, Jasmine.

I don't want this to end.

Me neither.

Oh!

Bae, is that you?

It is I.

The one she calls bae.

Come here, girl.

- I missed you so much. - I missed you.

Don't ever leave me for that long again.

I won't, all right?

At least not for a little while.

Look, I'm just happy to home.

Conference went well and all.

Oh, it did?

Missed you.

What is that?

It smells wonderful.

Baked chicken.

- Somebody love me. - I do.

You know you so good to me, right?

I know.

Right here, huh?

- Bae, bae, bae, bae, bae. - What, what, what,

what, what, what?

Calm down, bae.

Look, you'll get your dessert after dinner.

Okay.

I like that.

Well, let me go get washed up then.

Yeah, you do that.

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, sorry.

- I'll be back. - Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Babe, this is good.

You really put your foot in this one.

Thank you.

So, how was your trip?

I mean, you called late a couple of nights

while I was sleeping.

Most days I barely spoke to you at all.

It was cool.

I mean, kinda boring actually,

you know, manager stuff and all.

So, anybody that you knew?

No, not really.

Pretty much all strangers.

Why do you ask?

Just asking.

Look, there's an opera tomorrow.

Would you like to go?

Come on babe,

you know I don't like coming to that kind of stuff.

- All right. - All right.

What did I do for you to ask me to go?

Nothing.

I mean, not that I know of.

Look, I'm just asking

because you've been gone an entire week

and I figured we'll do something that I actually enjoy.

Okay.

You know what?

Okay, you know what, you're right.

All right., anything that you wanna go.

Wanna go to the opera?

We go to the opera.

Opera it is.

This is good though, babe,

did you use some new season or something like that?

I mean, this is the bomb.

Whoa.

Wow.

Why aren't you getting dressed?

Baby, you look stunning.

And you look like you're not going.

Look, it's not that I don't wanna go, babe.

It's just, look, I had a long a week and I'm tired.

I just wanna relax and watch some TV.

I mean, maybe Michelle can go with you.

Michelle is out with her own man.

And I thought that I could go out with mine.

You know what?

I'll just go by myself, again.

Babe, it's not like that, all right?

It's exactly like that.

You'll have a good time going alone.

- I mean, can I get a kiss? - Kiss my ass.

You know, no matter how many times I've seen this concert,

it always reinforces the fact that in life we have choices.

Even if we feel that we don't.

Ebony had a choice, right?

To be with her king or die.

Touche.

Yeah, but what's the purpose of living

if you can't feel for the person you're with?

Right.

So, I guess your husband didn't wanna

come with you tonight, huh?

My fiance isn't interested in the opera.

Well, there is no way in the world

I would allow a woman as beautiful as you are,

come to a concert as nice as this one,

dressed as stunning as you are tonight.

Hm.

So, where's your wife?

Happily single.

Well, I guess this is me.

Oh, I didn't catch your name.

Happily engaged.

Well, listen, before you go,

there's another show here next week, 7:30.

"Mrs. White."

It'd be really nice to see.

Good night, happily single.

Good night.

- Hi, babe. - Hey.

Why are you staring at me?

Just admiring my fiance.

Oh yeah.

How was opera?

It was great.

Gave me some things to consider.

Like?

Choices.

Choices, huh?

Look babe, I'm sorry I didn't take you

to the opera tonight, all right?

But I promise to make it up to you.

I mean any other time you wanna go, we can go.

How about that?

Lucky you.

There's one next Saturday.

- Next Saturday? - Next Saturday.

Upcoming Saturday?

Mm, baby, that's rival week, you know, rival week.

I mean any other weekend besides that, I promise you.

Okay.

All right.

Look, I'll be in the bed in a minute, all right?

No, you won't.

You made your bed on that couch.

Now lie in it.

Stace, you joking, right?

I see what you did there.

That was cute.

Stace.

Stace, you're not serious.

Stace?

Can I get a blanket?

So, you mean to tell me that nigger chose a football game

over taking you to the opera?

Yes.

Can you blame him?

- Michelle? - I would just keep it real.

Niggers ain't trying to go see no opera.

He could have recorded the game.

Like what about me?

Opera some white people shit anyway.

I don't know what they be saying.

I even gave him a chance to make it up to me.

I was like, okay, well we can go next Saturday.

You tripping, that's rivalry week.

You know like Michigan versus notre dame,

prayer view versus Texas southern.

- And? - Ain't nobody missing that.

I know somebody who might.

Girl, what you talking about?

Nothing.

Pretend like you didn't hear that.

Bitch, I don't live in pretend land,

spill the tea.

Fine.

Okay, so after the concert while I was waiting on my ride,

this handsome, mature guy was hitting on me.

I mean, he's a little older and a little bald,

but he's nice.

And he has a great smile.

Oh, sound like Obama trying to hit.

"Excuse me, young lady, can I tap that ass?"

It wasn't like that at all.

He was intriguing.

I don't know.

But he did ask me to sit with him next Saturday.

Oh, so he ain't tripping on labor day classic.

- No. - Listen, I know at first

I went on David's bandwagon,

but he's a nice guy and you're engaged.

Yeah.

Don't let Mr. Clean ruin that.

Okay.

I got it.

Carey inside and you gotta imagine,

Duke's going to try to exploit that

and get the ball into the wood to work candidate

as often as they can.

Well, it was a great pass by Joey baker

because it was quick.

Come on, come on, come on, come on,

defense, defense, defense.

Defense, that's what i'm talking about!

That's how you play d, baby,

that's how you play d, let's go.

Let's go.

How's the game going?

It's good, baby, they just tied it up.

It is a play making play call.

Hey whoa, whoa, wait, is that a new dress?

- We showed this on game day. - Sure.

This morning against Florida state.

But he's gotta take it on the big guy and split him.

Never seen that one before.

- He took it to the left side. - Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's go, let's go.

Let's go, let's go.

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

That's what I'm talking about, baby.

That's how you play ball.

That's how you play ball.

Let's go, let's go!

Enjoy yourself tonight?

I did.

"Mrs. White" was just as good as advertised.

Thanks for inviting me.

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

The pleasure was mine.

I mean, I had the privilege of having

the most extravagant woman in the building

- by my side tonight. - Oh yeah?

It's not too late, Mrs. Engaged.

Stacy.

Call me Stacy.

Carl.

Excuse me?

- My name is Carl. - Oh.

Your future man.

So Mr. Carl, you're a nice, handsome bachelor,

why are you single?

Because I wanna be happy.

Is that right?

Look, I'm not gonna ruin this night,

talking to you about my ex, but what I will say is,

I want a woman, a real woman.

A woman who knows her value,

a woman who could appreciate a ballet and an opera

and have the sexiest eyes in Texas.

So, the eyes are a staple, huh?

They are definitely a contributing factor.

I really enjoyed tonight, Mr. Carl.

So did I.

Sorry, but when can I see you again?

I don't know, I mean, I don't wanna move too fast.

Okay, me either.

So, next Wednesday.

Town and country movie theater, 7:30.

I'll pick you up on the north side.

I'll be there.

Come on, it's our turn.

Oh, hey babe.

How was the play?

The opera?

It was fantastic.

Look, I'm sorry I couldn't go with you.

It's okay, the game has you entertained.

And whoever that is blowing your phone up.

It's nobody.

- I'll just get it. - You know what?

I'll get it.

I'll just, I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, you got me so wet,

I cannot wait to have you between my legs.

Hey, hey, hey, Jeff, look, man,

I'm hanging with my fiance, all right?

I'll call you back tomorrow.

Okay.

All right, man, bye.

Crazy.

That Jeff guy must be really funny, huh?

Yeah, it's Jeff, the new guy at work, I mean,

dude is silly babe.

Got you laughing like that?

Yeah, he's pretty crazy.

I'm going to bed.

All right, babe.

Well, I'll be there soon, all right?

Come over there and hold ya-

okay.

Guess I'm sleeping on the couch again tonight.

Oh god, it was close.

Hey.

Hey.

I'll be hanging with some coworkers tonight after work.

One of them is having a birthday party

and I'm being dragged in.

Okay, where are you guys going?

I don't know as of yet,

but I do know I won't be home until around 9:30 or so.

All right.

Hey wait, wait, wait, wait.

I don't get a kiss goodbye.

Oh yeah.

I guess you can call that a kiss.

You look beautiful.

Oh, you know you almost got me

in trouble the other night, right?

I'm sorry.

You just be having me all emotional and stuff.

Yeah, but you gotta watch what you saying.

I mean, she was like right there in front of me.

Talking about you all wet.

You think she heard me?

I don't know.

If she did, she didn't allude to that fact.

Well look, whenever you ready to make this

a permanent thing, us, I'm with it.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah.

Okay, that was a good movie.

I told you that, that dude was the murderer.

All right, you were right, you were right.

You know I wanted to be there though, right?

I bet you did.

Cute couple, right?

He looked kinda old.

But she was cute.

Yeah, but she wasn't you.

True.

You okay?

You look like you just saw a ghost.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you hungry?

Not at the moment.

So, what movie did you see?

"Friend zone."

Good movie, crazy ending, right?

Yup.

Pretty insane.

Guy ended up with his true love.

So, is that how this is gonna play out?

You end up with your true love.

Fuck all that.

Who was that nigger you was with?

You don't get to ask me no questions.

Who was that bitch you was with?

You know, I never thought my fiance

was such an accomplished liar.

"I'm going out with some friends after work.

They're dragging me to a birthday party."

Well, I didn't see that nigger dragging you anywhere

and I damn sure didn't see no birthday cake.

So, was that the bitch that text you from Austin?

Oh, I hope you made it home safe.

Wait, wait, wait.

You went through my phone.

Yeah I went through your phone,

but I only went there one time.

You see it only took one time.

You can't take me to the opera,

but you can text and call other women?

Who was that Jeff?

I'm so wet.

I can't wait to have you between my legs.

You didn't think I heard.

So, who is she?

How long you been seeing her?

I mean, let's be real.

Since Austin.

Austin?

What's her name?

Jasmine.

Jasmine.

Jasmine from college Jasmine?

Jasmine that had you running behind her for years Jasmine?

Not even letting you snip the chocha?

She's still got you wishing?

No, no.

Oh, so she paid her Booty debts off.

Well, I hope it was worth it.

Are you fucking him or what?

No, but that's gonna change.

Oh really?

So, you like older dudes now?

I like grown, mature men

who's not afraid to take their woman to the ballet or out.

So, dude is mature because he likes

to see mother fuckers in tights?

You couldn't even dvr a game for your woman.

But I guess you thought you could dvr this relationship.

It doesn't work like that.

It wasn't even like that.

Stacy, it wasn't even, stace!

So, is it really over?

Yep, you know he moved his things out a couple weeks ago.

I can't believe it.

Me neither.

I can't believe that girl finally gave him some

after all of these years.

But you know, niggers will wait an eternity for that nookie.

That is not funny.

I know.

I'm sorry.

So what's up with Mr. Clean?

Girl, he treats me like a queen.

You know I've been over there these last couple days, right?

And when I tell you, I don't have to lift a finger,

I mean just that.

He takes really good care of me.

When was the last time you worked?

I'm taking the week off.

Oh, so you switch and dick like that, huh?

And now you don't wanna work.

I am entitled to a break every now and then,

I mean, I have vacation time.

And what's wrong with letting your man spoil you?

It's something these young guys know nothing about.

Old school spoiling you, huh?

Spoiling me.

Watch out.

You don't get something for nothing.

Look, I know you mean well, but I'm good.

I got it.

- I got it. - Okay.

Let's go, let's go, let's get it together.

What you want, what you want?

Huh?

Whatever, you ain't got nothing.

- Finally scored. - Ha.

Looks like you been doing that a lot lately.

Ha, ha, ha, not funny.

Stacy's a great girl.

And you traded her in for somebody

who gave you a major heartbreak.

I'm just trying to make sure she don't do that to you again.

Look, it ain't even like that anymore, bro.

All right?

And besides we grown now

and she apologized for all that college bs.

So, you all packed up ready to move

to another woman house?

Oh, so you brought the jokes, huh?

Yeah, I'm ready to go, man.

Look, Ms. Johnson thinks I'm ready to be

an hr manager anyway.

So, that means I ain't gonna be at Jasmine's house

for too long.

Make my own money,

get my own spot and make it look good.

All right.

I just hope it's worth ending a perfectly good relationship.

Dude, you act like she wasn't stepping out on me, man.

You was fucking Jasmine, bro.

Yeah, but she didn't know.

She knew, they always know.

They smarter than us.

Yeah, I know man.

Look, whatever, all right.

Onto a brighter note,

I'm gonna start working a new position

which means I make more money and I get to wake up every day

to the woman that I always wanted to wake up to.

It's a perfect life, dude.

What can go wrong?

Man, that was the wind man and velocity, man.

You know how the air, it's physics, man?

Pick up a book, I ain't trying to teach.

Your woman skills just like your basketball skills.

Both trash.

All right.

Well, Ms. Rose, your resume looks impressive.

Let me ask you what skills do you possess

to contribute to this company?

Well, I'm detail orientated

and I'm punctual and I work well with others.

Well, that's an excellent answer.

Well, Ms. Rose, I feel comfortable

moving forward with you,

your resume and your references back up your claim.

And if you're interested,

I would like to offer you the data entry position.

Yes, I would love that.

Fantastic.

If you would, please see the reception on your way out

to finish all the paperwork

and we'll look forward to working with you.

- All right. - Congratulations.

- Thank you. - Have a great day.

You too.

Hi bae.

How you doing?

No, no, no, I'm fine.

Good, everything's good.

Yes., yes, I'll be home soon.

Just wrapping up things now.

K, see you soon.

Bye.

Honey, I'm home.

I always wanted to say that.

Hey baby, I made you some coffee.

Hey thanks, babe, I need it.

Damn, you come home from work working.

Hope you getting paid double for that.

I wish.

Now I know what teachers feel like.

We have this new client

that wants us to promote his brand of socks,

but he hasn't given us enough money

for commercials or billboards.

Well, you're just gonna have

to hit social media real hard.

You know what?

Find one of those youtubers, right,

and bloggers or whatever the case may be.

They got over a million views and have them promote for you.

Chuck 'em a couple dollars.

They'd be more than happy to do it.

Plus, that'd be good publicity for you.

Now, if you're looking for older folks,

then Facebook's the way to go.

They're always on Facebook.

Babe, those are some really good ideas.

Thank you.

No problem, anything for my baby.

Hey babe?

What's for dinner?

Oh, I had the munchies and I had take out

so you gotta fend for yourself tonight.

Well, dang.

So, your man come home from a long day at work

and you ain't got no dinner ready?

A sandwich made?

Nothing like that?

I mean, what's up with that?

I wasn't tripping when I came in here,

you weren't in the kitchen slaving over my supper.

Supper?

David, listen, I probably shoulda told you

before you moved over 200 miles that I don't cook.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You don't cook or you don't know how to cook?

There's a difference.

Listen, I'm a feminist.

And I believe in equality.

Non-gender roles in the workplace and at home.

We're equal.

So, you trying to tell me

a brother can't get rice and steak because I have a penis.

You're not listening.

Okay, let me ask you a question, babe.

Let me get this straight.

Let me ask you a question.

If I was to make your favorite dish right now,

would that make you less of a feminist?

Of course not.

Then you shouldn't feel like a feminist

having to cook for your man.

In fact, some of your single, man-less,

no sex-having friends will probably be proud of you.

So, what makes you think

that I have feminist friends out here

that's not having sex?

'Cause niggers ain't putting up with that shit.

Straight up.

We do not deal with that.

Unless you got a white man or a Asian and you know

and I know they coming up short.

Babe, listen, let's not fight.

Let's make love instead.

Hmm.

Can't get hard on an empty stomach.

Excuse me.

Wanna make love make him a damn subway sandwich,

ramen noodles, serious, nothing for me.

Hey, babe.

Hey, babe, how was your day?

I swear, the people that I got working for me right now,

they need to be micromanaged.

That bad, huh?

Here.

All right.

Ouch.

Ouch.

Are you okay?

I'm just glad this day is over with.

I'll deal with all that madness tomorrow when I get back.

Bae, rub my feet.

I got ya.

Mm, mm-hmm.

You cooking something?

Oh yeah, I have baked chicken in the oven.

Bae, you do not have to do that.

I could have took care of that for you.

No baby, it's okay.

Look, I love cooking.

Besides, I've been cooped up in his house for awhile now.

Shoot, I had to do something.

I cooked, I cleaned, and I did the laundry.

- Right there. - Right there?

Babe, what's that?

What?

Right there.

Oh, I stopped by the cleaners too.

Those are my clothes for tomorrow.

Where are you going tomorrow.

To work.

You know I've been gone for a week and a half now.

I better get back before they give my job away.

Bae, no bae, I told you,

you don't have to go back to work.

I'm gonna care of you.

Baby, look, I have my own house and my own bills.

Okay, well then sell your own house

and put your money in your pocket.

Okay, Carl, that sounds great and all,

but we're moving way too fast.

Look, I enjoy my own spot and my independence.

Independence.

Independence.

You know, Stacy, independent is for single people.

So, you need to decide what you wanna do.

Do you wanna be single and independent?

Or, do you wanna be happy with a man who loves you

and wanna take care of you for the rest of your life?

I can take care of myself.

Look, I don't need you for that.

Oh really?

Baby, all I'm saying is that I just need you to love me.

That's it?

Nothing more, nothing less.

Look, I like working.

I really love nursing.

Please don't be threatened by that.

Threatened.

Independent.

I hope you know what that means.

Grass ain't always greener on the other side, is it?

Man, did you come here to say I told you so

or come drink with your boy?

Both.

Damn, you know this tap beer

sure do taste sweeter than a nigger ride.

Where you staying at now?

North side of Austin.

All I do is eat, sleep, and work.

Man, I am done with women

and I am done with relationships.

From now on my work is my new woman

and I'm gonna give her my undivided attention.

And just like a woman work is gonna tell you

that you're not doing enough.

Who are you talking to on the phone?

Why you gotta be up so late?

Do you love me?

Oh, and the most nauseating words you can say to a man,

"'we need to talk."

Face it, man.

We can't win with women or with work,

we've gotta do our best and put up with they shit.

What was the last straw with Jasmine anyway?

Besides the fact that she can't cook, she don't clean.

She don't do nothing.

Her process focus process is what she calls it.

What's that?

Weed.

The girl smoke like a chimney.

I mean every day, all day, in the house,

out the house, in the car,

out the car, in the bathroom, while she's taking a shower,

can't get away from the snitch.

I guess she couldn't smell the kush

through all the badussy in the air.

Clouded your judgment.

Man, at least we split on good terms though.

You know?

Guess it just wasn't meant to be.

That's cool.

You know, it's a good thing

that work is your new woman

because you would not like to know how fine Stacy

is looking these days.

Hey say, man, don't be looking at my girl, man.

She not nobody's girl,

at least for the last few months out in there.

Dude, why don't you tell me, man?

You know she blocked my phone number, right?

Block me from Facebook, blocked me from the gram.

Both of y'all needed space to heal

and find out what's truly important.

Especially you.

Hey, come on with that bullshit, man.

Look, I need to see her, all right?

I know, I'll drop by her place.

She moved.

I'll call her on the phone.

Her number changed.

Well damn, Rob, help me out, man.

How am I supposed to see her?

Let's take a moment to just breathe.

I'm glad you chose galveston to go running.

I'm enjoying the breeze, but anything after 100 yards

is my cool down.

See, you got all this energy

since Mr. Clean has slowed down.

Slowed down?

Shoot, it's more like a screeching halt.

Girl, he wanted a different type of housewife.

One that doesn't cook, doesn't clean,

and have sex all the time.

I couldn't do that.

Oh, the torture.

What's his number again?

Don't do that.

Now, you know you have Roger.

Besides, I just wanted better for myself.

You know how I feel about my independence.

Girl, any woman will let a man like that,

lock them up and throw away the key, girl.

Shit, you can come visit me on the weekend

like one of them felons.

Let me tell you what put a nail in our relationship.

It's when he said he didn't want any children.

You know how long I've been wanting to have kids?

I can see 'em now, running around the house

with me and my husband.

Yeah, that was just something I just couldn't give up.

I don't know.

Anyways, one more lap?

Oh no, you go ahead without me.

- I'm a meet you back here. - Uh-uh.

You know I appreciate you doing this for me, huh Michelle?

I'm doing this for Stacy and I can't promise you anything

and she may not even talk to you.

Rob thinks you're truly sorry for what you did.

I am.

Destroying a perfectly good relationship?

I hope you know what you want this time,

because if you hurt her again,

she won't be the only one in this relationship

with a hole in her heart.

You feel me?

Yeah, I feel you.

What are you doing here?

I needed to see you.

That won't be necessary.

I can walk.

No, no, no, wait, wait,

please, stace, please just give me a moment, okay?

What do you possibly have to say to me?

Huh?

Oh, oh, that you and what's her name broke up?

I mean, that is why you're here, right?

No.

Stacy, me and her broke up awhile ago, okay?

Look, I'm sorry.

Just can't get you off my mind.

I've been thinking about you for months now.

Look stace, I was wrong, okay?

I thought I knew what I wanted, but I didn't.

Being dishonest and unfaithful was the biggest regret.

The hugest mistake of my life.

So, it took you a few years to figure that out, huh?

A few years of wasting my time to figure that out.

Look, I forgive you.

All right?

You're off the hook.

We just wasn't meant to be.

Well, yes we are.

Listen, what if I don't wanna be off the hook?

Huh?

What if I wanna be on the hook with you

for the rest of my life?

I don't wanna hear this.

You know how many times I heard this?

How do I know you don't have

a thousand other women stashed away waiting to fuck?

I promise, baby, please believe me.

It's no one else.

Just you.

I only want two things in this world.

One, to have us back together, for us to work.

And?

Stace.

Will you go to the ballet with me?

Of course I'll go to the ballet with you.

I'm so sorry.

I love you.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.Com/kaboomskull

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