All language subtitles for mai hhhh

I seen it fell down I

I didn't make a sound I

I can you live here anymore I

I what's outside the door I

I home is on the floor I

I can you live here anymore I

I it's taking longer
than you've seen back home I

I seen it fell down I

I didn't make a sound I

I can you live here anymore I

I what's outside the door I

I home is on the floor I

I can you be here anymore I

I it's taken longer
than you've seen back home I

I mean we work together here-

Frankie. Excuse me.

Hi. How are you?

I couldn't help but notice
that you touched your hair

and then you touched the glass
right afterwards.

This isn't a fucking barn and
it's also not rocket surgery.

- I'm sorry.
- Rocket surgery?

What's rocket surgery?

Can you please straighten
your body and get back to work?

Thank you.

Wow.

I watching how I

I you take something I

I all you have to do I

I watching how I

I you take something I

I blah ay ah ah I

I watching how I

I you take something I

hi, it's mama.

You never pick up the phone.

Have you been drinking?

I think you should come home
if you're not

going to school and you're
just making those weird videos.

I'm s o rry 7

I can't understand you
through the-

isaid...

0h. You filming me?

-No, I... come clean.

No, I'm...

You were in the frame,
but I was filming the...

There's all these people
and there's this painting

just hanging there.

Can I see?

Yeah.

Yeah, no, that's kinda great.

Thank you.

All right,
you gotta hold my cheese

and you gotta take care
of my head.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

Hey folks, can I, can I have
everybody's attention please?

On the wall behind me,

it's not just a pretty picture
to distract you

while you're waiting in line
to take a shit.

And to be honest,
the way that you guys are

treating this painting
is upsetting my friend.

This is a man's soul right here.

Yeah.

And he's,
he's bearing it in the hopes

that for a split second, you
will go beyond your own lives.

Go beyond your need
to just buy things.

So ladies and gentlemen...

This is...

This is a way out.

You know?

Ah, ha ha ha ha, ho!

So eat it up.

Don't eat shoes.
Don't eat skateboards.

Don't eat nail Polish.
Eat the art.

Eat the art! Eat the art!

Eat the art!

It tastes good.
It tastes really good.

Eat the art.

All together now.

Eat the art.

Eat the art, eat the art,

eat the art, eat the art,

eat the art.

They don't want you
to hear this,

they want you to keep shopping!

Was that a smile?

No, I just have something
in my eye.

Will you look at it?

I really think I have
something in my eye.

- Ew, ew.
- No, don't you see it?

Is it an eyelash
or like a bug or something?

-Do you see... so fucking gross.

Hey Frankie.

Romeo.

You done flirting?

Uh, Judy needs you to sub in.

What?

For her act tonight.

The baby's not coming, so...

That's pretty rough.

Shots.

Let's get weird.

Wasn't he wonderful?

Oh my gosh.

I'm so happy to see you.

Hello, I'm Judy and this is
my husband, Marty, over there.

Say hello Marty.

Now, let's bring out faith.

Oh my god.

I I pictured a rainbow I

I you held it in your hands I

I I had flashes I

I but you saw I

Hey.

Hay is for horses.

Kandinsky.

From the mall last week.

I gotta talk to this girl
real quick.

Oh yeah.

Yeah. You lost me my job.

What?

So you're a cockroach now?

- Yeah.
- What are you doing?

- That'll be a buck.
- Uh, okay.

Go around.

Hey, I really want to talk
to you.

Can I have your number?

No, I don't got one.

You don't have a phone?

Well, I don't need one.

How do I get a hold of you?

Hollywood and ivar.

- Hollywood and ivar?
- Yeah.

The corner?

On the roof, after five.

Okay.

No, not yet!
Yo, wait, we're walkin'!

Pedestrians got
the right of way, man.

Shit.

All right, show me your best.

Not bad.

How did I do, cockroach man?

That was...

That's a five. Ah, come on.

Five?

What do you call this?

It's a Jack knife.

- Ajack knife?
- Yup.

And what do you call
that cockroach costume?

That's my day job.

Think you can do better?

Uh, yes.

Hey.

Yeah!

Seriously?

It's like a five.

What am I gonna say?
It's a five.

I filmed your speech
and I posted it on YouTube

and it's doing really well.

Like really, really,
really well,

and it's already got like,
2000 views.

Uh, is that a lot?

For me, yeah.

I only have like, you know,
barely 100 subscribers.

I don't know,
people are commenting things

and it's all really positive
and...

That's good.

How was that?

That's a seven.

Sammy, time to go.

Say goodbye to your friend link.

But we're not finished.

That's all right,
we'll finish later.

Okay?

Come on, Sammy.

Thanks for watching her.

Yeah, sure.

Good for you.

I'd like to give you
my information

so that if you want
to find me, you can.

I work at magic alley bar.

Is that a bar for magicians?

No, it's, sometimes
there are magicians there

but it's just a regular bar.

It's not even that far
from here.

Oh, I'm gonna check
roach man's schedule.

He's a busy guy.

Okay, I'm gonna put it
in your shoe.

I don't get people's taste
anymore.

People don't have taste anymore.

They are just horny.

Well that really depressing.

Makes me wanna cry.

- It's good, right?
- Yeah.

You know what else
makes me really sad?

Well hello boys and girls.

Don't you just love feathers
and bells?

I'm hungry.

You little baby.

She needs her milk.

Nice, warm milk.

Goo goo goo goo goo.

Yes.

Oh, wait, something smells.

That could be some gas.

Burp, baby, burp.

- Some gas.
- Stop!

Whoa!

What the?

Stop, stop!

Let me see this.

I'm gonna get you out of here.

- Trust me.
- The gas man.

Oh! Listen up,
you motherfudgers!

Whoa.

This shit isn't funny.

- Hey!
- This shit's just mean.

Yo, let the old lady
finish her act, you freak.

Oh, yo, you want to come up

and suck on the bottle
while everybody laughs?

Be my guest, you Nazi cracker!

Nazi cra...

Hey! Take your ass back
to the loony bin, why don't you?

- Yeah.
- Oh, this is so funny,

isn't it, Marty?

Fuck you!

Oh, look, he knows how to run!

Fuck.

That's Hollywood,
when even the bugs

love the spotlight.

- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got it. I got it.

Okay, okay, okay.

- You good?
- Hey, he's with me.

He's with me. He's my friend.

- He's my friend.
- I'm good.

Come on.

Jesus Christ.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey.

Thank you for the service.

The first class service.
Thank you.

Oh my god.

You do know that they pay me
to do that.

Well...

Well, you didn't seem like
you were enjoying yourself.

So is uh,
is that kinda your thing?

To dress up in animal costumes?

Well, you know,

if you're in a costume it's
easier to spot the other freaks.

Can I film you?

Uh, sure, weirdo.

If you clean me up right here.

Okay.

- Right here?
- Yeah.

Okay.

Will you tell me
why you don't like cell phones?

Will you tell me
why you don't smoke crack?

This is why.
'Cause where are you?

I'm right here.

Nah, you gotta kick the habit.

Hey. That's mine.

Hey, hey, hey.
Please give that back.

Hey.

Oh!

- Do you eat peanuts?
- What?

Can you eat peanuts?

There's a lot of peanuts
in Thai food.

I'm gonna be at the Thai place
on Bronson tomorrow

if you want to come.

Noon.

Okay.

My name is link, by the way.

Here comes your baby.

Wait.

Fuck!

Wow, she caught it.

The crowd goes wild.

Asshole.

That's crazy.

What the...

Ooh.

Wee-ooh.

Ooh.

Whoa, whoa.

What the?

Magic.

Wow.

So, what,
do you come here often?

No, please. Please talk to me.

Talk to me. Talk to me.

Please come back.

Just for a little bit.

All right,
what do you wanna know?

Tell me about your parents.

They're dead.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm really sorry.

It's all right.

It was a long time ago.

Measles.

Measles?

It was the civil war,
so, you know.

Did your parents really die
or are you...

Yeah.

Okay, so tell me this.

How does that feel?

Okay.

Yeah.

Why don't you say something
really profound and moving,

just like that?

Come on, you can do it.

No, but seriously.

What do you wanna do
with your life, Frankie?

I don't know.

Okay, well, if you did know,
what would it be?

I don't know. I don't know
what I'm doing right now.

I don't know what I want to do.
I don't know.

You want to make art?

Sure, I want to make art.

Wow.

That's great.

All right, well what kind
of stuff you want to make?

I don't know.

I want to make things that
make other people feel things.

All right.
Tell me about that scar.

Why'd you do that?

It's beautiful.
It's a part of you.

All right. The intimacy
levels are too high.

Abort mission.

Did you even watch
the video I posted?

People really responded to it.
To you.

You don't even know
how hard it is

to get views on the Internet.

Will you just look
at the comments?

"The only thing in doubt
about your speech

is whether it makes me
want to puke

or kill myself and then puke."

They signed it
sincerely everyone.

That's so sweet.

Thank you for showing me that.

There are more positive ones
than nasty ones.

All right,
so what do you wanna do?

Do you want to make art,

or do you want to chase
affirmation from faceless strangers?

Both.

Get out of my house.

I'm moving in.

There's not enough space
for two.

See.

It's super cramped.

It actually kind of works.

J' shriek like moaning lovers I

I all the love is flowing I

And you better be better
tonight.

I all the love is flowing
from my heart I

I flowing from my heart I

I all the love is flowing
from my heart I

Pssl

What are you doing?

Trying to keep a low profile.

They don't much like me here.

Remember?

You got a phone?

I thought phones
were crack cocaine.

Well, to defeat the beast,
first you gotta

get inside its belly.

Look...

I'm gonna cut to the chase, kid.

I think you got potential.

I wanna make your next picture.

- Really?
- Yeah.

What? Now?

Yeah, right now, let's go.

I'm in the middle of my shift.

Eh, fuck your shift.

Come on.

Not everyone can fuck the shift.

Some people have
to go to their shifts.

Some people. You want
to be those some people?

You wanna be what then?

The other kind of person.

So show me. Fuck the shift.

Fuck the shift.

Fuck the shift.

Fuck this place.

Fuck this place.

Fuck dressing up
in a fucking baby costume.

Yeah, yeah.

Fuck people who shit in sinks.

Fuck people who-

- wait, wh...
- Yeah.

Fuck my boss, fuck my uniform.

Okay, let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, where's your car?

I sold it.

I had to pay rent.

Are you serious?

Mhm. Let's go.

Three, two, one, blast off.

Whoa, watch the pole,
watch the pole.

On to the new world!

What if I covered your eyes?

I'd be like don't cover my eyes.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

What have I done?

You did an amazing thing.

I walked out on my job.

I have no money
and no idea how to get any.

This is the beginning.

Of unemployment.

Well, yeah, but of everything.

Now you could just
concentrate on your art.

That's a great idea.

What are you doing?

I'm uncomfortable.

Get out.

We gotta cast demons out.

- Gotta get the demons out.
- No, no, no, no.

That's dumb.

- No demons.
- Yeah, no, it's dumb.

You gotta be dumb to be smart.

No, no, no, no, no.

This is dumb.

We have to cast 'em out.

- We gotta cast 'em out.
- What are you-

cast out the demons.

Come on,
I don't wanna dance alone.

- Come on, dance with me.
- J' come on and be with me I

“

I my love keeps growing on I

I so come on, lead I

I been cookin' myself for you I

I you mean that much to me I

I for the rest,
rest of my life I

Oh, you didn't have to move.

I just put it
right in your pocket.

Okay fine, I won't move.

No.

I see your iovin', babe I

- okay, you're a ninja.
- Mhm.

I'm a ninja.

You give one attack
and one retreat.

Quick, south paw.

I love you, love you I

I love you, baby, all night I

I think my mom thinks
I'm a fuck up.

You are a fuck up.

She's a fuck up.

I'm a fuck up.

Everybody's a fuck up right now.

That's just the setup.

No one feels like
they belong, you know?

People just exploding.

You know, there are
people out there right now

who don't identify as human.

They think they're animals
trapped in the wrong body,

and they're driving
corporations nuts

because of how do you
market sneakers to someone

who thinks he's a cat?

What?

That's it.

What did I say?

Exactly. You have to say stuff.

Like the animal stuff?
What are you talking about?

Okay.

That's what people
are responding to,

is you saying stuff,
so all I have to do

is figure out
how to capture you saying stuff

without it just being you
saying stuff.

Bud, you're putting me
as such a bad pos...

I've seen a lot of fake ids.

This is so terrible.

This is such a terrible idea.

Like the sticker's coming off.
Do better.

Just go get drunk.

Don't get too drunk.

Pssl

What's up?

We're starting a band.

Are, are you guys high?

We need a writer. We suck.

Are you in?

You need a writer? For what?

A secret project.

Oh shit, mom, I gotta go.

Yo, yo, what's up?

Yo, what's up?

Thanks for tuning in
and checking out this video.

Checking out this video.

Rock effect.

My motherfucking life and all
the dope ass shit around me.

Parents use YouTube
as a babysitter.

Like my little niece
who's seven years old,

she worships these guys
who do and say nothing

and promote a lifestyle
of doing and saying nothing.

I don't even need this phone.

Is it okay?

All right.

I need it.

They're sucked in
and they're like watching

the same kind of videos
that they're always watching

and at the end, boom,
it's a satire.

Yo, why is my existence so lit?

Why is my life so lit?

Let's start with
this eagle's nest behind me.

I know how to shoot it, too.

You gotta see this.

Yo, eight million big ones,
eight million big ones.

We've got to do
everything we can

to make our thing look
as crappy as their thing.

That's brilliant.

All right. Let's do it.

Seven bedrooms
and dos mother Hubbard piscinas.

Is that right? Is that Spanish?

Think that's Italian.

Regulation height
for a hoop is like 10 feet.

I keep mine at seven.
You know why?

I got a small penis.

Hashtag be yourself.

That's my message
to the world is be yourself.

That's what I do
and look what I got.

Hashtag swimming pool,
hashtag cocktail,

hashtag this pineapple life.

Yo, it's so important
to be yourself,

but only your best parts only,
only your pretty parts.

Not that weak shit.

Yo, is that right? Is that...

That's the message, right?

When I see other celebrities
like on the 'gram and shit,

I feel kind of bad about
myself, so I buy more stuff.

Hashtag when, hashtag why,
hashtag wow.

Which is great,
'cause then I just end up

with so much, you know, stuff.

Stuff makes me feel like,

like less than empty inside,
you know?

Hashtag when is it too much?

Hashtag when is it all
going to stop?

Hey you!

- Shit!
- Get off my property!

We got the wrong house!

- Sorry!
- Get outta here!

I got, I got confused!

I got confused!

- Come on, come on, come on!
- Fuck!

Jesus.

All right, where are we?

Oh my god,
I'm spiraling right now.

I've been getting it all wrong.

I've been poisoning y'all.

You can't be following me.

I ain't nothin'. I ain't nobody.

I'm no one.

Like I'm no one special, man.

We gotta wake ourselves up.

Oh, it feels so good to be free.

I'm reborn, man, I'm reborn.

Can you relate?

Someone stole my pants.

Woo!

We're going back to nature,
baby.

Yo, you don't need
any of that shit.

You don't need any of that shit.

Can I get an amen?

Can I get an amen baby?

Who's with me?

Y'all feelin' me?

Can you relate?

Can you relate?

Yeah! You can relate!

You're feelin' me!

- Woo!
- What the hell?

Man, got any spare pants?

Hey. Hey man, hey.

Oh what's up, baby?

- What's up?
- Face that way.

- Hey, I know you!
- Face that wall.

I know you.

I just woke up in my soul,
in my heart.

You feelin' me baby?

I know you feelin' me baby, yes.

Can I get an amen?

Where am I?

Where am I?

Oh, I love this town.

I love you. I love you so much.

Holy shit.

Holy shit. You gotta see this.

Whoa.

Look at all the comments.

"I want this guy
to run me over in a truck

and then reverse
over my dead body."

That's interesting.

Oh my god.

Juanpa just sent me a selfie.

He wants to do an interview
with you.

Juanpa's huge.

Juanpa's huge.

I don't,
I don't know who that is.

Guys, guys, look at the views.

We are officially live,
ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome.

This is a very special episode

because we got
a very rare guest.

Please give it up
for no one special.

Woo hoo hoo!

And by the way, I'm not
being a terrible friend here.

That's how you call yourself,
right?

That's my name.
It's my given name.

- No.
- At birth, yeah.

No one special.

Wow.

No one is like one word
and then special.

Like we're all kind of
no one special.

That's just kind of the idea,
right?

Yeah.

We're all the same.
We're all equal.

Okay. Okay,
let's try this again.

- When I clap...
- Yeah.

You, you iikejump
and fall into frame.

All right.

So I'll clap and I'll stop
and then you jump in.

All right. Let's try it.

- Okay?
- Yep.

Here it is.

No one special!

Oh my god!

I've never seen juanpa
this happy before.

A couple of questions for you.

Go on.

Can I just do this real quick?

Yeah.

Sorry, I've been wanting like,

since I like laid eyes on you,

I've just been wanting
to like...

His name is Isaac.

Oh wow.

Pretty deep.

Pretty deep first moments
with no one special.

I just feel like
we need experience other...

All right, all right,
do we first bump now?

No, I just hump you
with my beard.

Can we just fist bump?

Okay, anyways. Boom, bam.

Your boyfriend's fine.

- He's not my boyfriend.
- He's not my boyfriend.

I uh, I represent juanpa.

So what's what's the next thing
for no one special?

What's the next thing
for no one...

I don't know.

- I'm just here with juanpa.
- Yeah?

Here with my hero juanpa.

Eh ah, I'm not your hero,
come on.

You guys need anything,

I want you to...

Give me a call.

Hey, just take a photo of it.

Yeah, I got it.

I'm Mark Schwartz.

- I'm the guy behind the guy.
- I got a idea, yeah.

I want to invite these guys
to join us on something.

- You want to go with me?
- Bring it.

Me and juanpa
have an invitation for you.

We want you to join us
tomorrow night

at four stone cemetery
or go to any graveyard near you,

and we,
we're gonna have a party.

You're gonna bring
your cell phones,

but then you're going to
place it on a grave,

you're going to turn
the screen to white,

and together
for one night only we're going

to experience
something real together.

We are going to ghost
the Internet.

You, me...

And juanpa.

Would you rather have
everything and understand nothing

or understand everything
and have nothing?

Um, have everything.

Yeah, you'd understand nothing,
though.

Yeah.

That's the premise of the joke.

- That's hard.
- But no,

I would just eat donuts and
ride around in a baby carriage

with a chauffeur and I
would buy sunglasses all day.

Yes, I'd wear a muumuu.

I would wear no underwear.

Do another one. Do another one.

Uh, would you rather
have permanent diarrhea

or have penises for fingers?

You'd have penises for fingers.

Penis for fingers, obviously.

Yeah, because like,
it'd be like this.

Hey, nice to meet you.

And then just like whoa.

Everyone would know
how you felt all the time.

Yeah.

That's the only danger
'cause it's like people

will get uncomfortable.

Don't tread on that.

- Okay.
- You can walk over it.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Holy shit.

People came.

I no one wants to be
the odd one out at times I

I no one wants to be the I

all right. Let's go say hi.

Yeah.

Do, um...

Is that no one special?

Hey, it's no one special.

- You're even bigger in person.
- Hi.

Hi, how are you?

Guys, what the hell?

We didn't expect anybody
to come.

Yo, yo, yo!

This is crazy, this is crazy.

Yo, yo, don't wake the dead.

So seriously, anybody
who's still got a cellphone,

put 'em on a grave
and let 'em light up

like fireflies
all through the night.

And then we'll just hang!

Hey, this is all that matters

is that we're all here.

Oh my god.

It's crazy how good
at this he is, huh?

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no

no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no selfies.

Tonight this is just about us
hanging out together.

All of us together.
How about a hug?

Give you a hug?
Yeah, I'll give you a hug.

Put 'em on a gravestone,
set the screen to white.

Let the battery die out
like we said, okay?

Get rid of them phones man.

Whoa, bud.

Yo, who's got a drink?

All right, that's good.

Who's got something to smoke?

Cheers, dad. I liked this one.

Peach apple iced tea.

Hello, this is Mark Schwartz.

I hear things are really
going great down there

at the cemetery,
which I don't often say.

Why don't we meet at my office
Monday morning, 10:00 am?

Who wants that?

Be right back.

You're my little brother,
I love you.

- Yeah, yeah.
- I just wanna talk to you.

It's not a fuckin' ruse.
It's not a fuckin' ruse.

Bullshit.

What the fuck?
Where are you fucking going?

Where are you fucking going?

I was in the car with my dad.

We hit a tree
and he died instantly.

He was taking me
to a friend's house.

I wanted to go to this party.

No, doesn't even work.

That's disgusting.

Yeah, who gives a fuck
about this guy?

Who's that guy that you were
talking to in the graveyard?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

-Hey -hey.

These marketing assholes.
Story of my life.

I'm on mute.
Don't worry about it.

How are you?

Sorry I've been on this call
for six hours.

Hey guys. This is Mark
chiming in here again.

$500,000 or go away.

You've got 30 seconds
to say yes.

Every time you don't say yes,

it's going to go up 10 grand,
all right?

Mute.

I swear to god.

Um, here's a bad sign.

We're a sports company.

We'd like to work with you.

Every single executive
who works with us is fat.

Mark, we can hear you.

Hello?

No one special.

It's a pleasure.

I haven't seen everything,

but what I've seen,
I really love.

And you want to make
some money off us.

The little I've seen,
you've changed me,

and I think I don't want
to hoard that.

I want everyone
to feel that way.

Oh, okay.

So you want us to do porn?

No, I don't want you to do porn.

I think he's being metaphorical

because we don't want to put
the cart before the horse.

Right.

So you used another metaphor
in that metaphor

to explain that one?

You're a writer, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay, good.

Here's the deal.

You've got talent.

Do you know where the
word talent comes from?

It's middle English.

Originally talent was money.

How many talents do you have?

Let's say you make a video
about a gorilla

eating spaghetti
who speaks French.

A thousand people watch it.

The algorithm hears that,
sends it to the powers

that be at YouTube,
which is really not YouTube,

it's their tube.

They say, hey,
we see a lot of people

are coming to you with views.

Well, guess what?

You qualify for a Adidas video
in front of your thing.

Would you like to do that?

We'll give you $10,000.

That's great, right?

What you want to do,
you go to the brands yourself

or they come to you if you
are gaining enough traction

and you aren't represented
by anything, stay yourself.

Then subway comes to you.
$200,000.

That was a $200,000 sub.

You want us to endorse brands.

No, no, no. They endorse you.

You don't endorse them.

That's how we work.

Do you want to be the guys
that made two cool videos

and then disappeared
into the ether?

Or do you want
to be no one special?

I got you the money.
I got you the stage.

I'm drafting you right now
into the army.

Let's go.
Tonight we parachute in.

Jake, you're the writer,
you need to write it.

Link, you're gonna act it,

and I'm gonna figure
how to fucking do it.

So we have phone or no phone.

That's the question.

Then we have the idea
of a game show, a talk show.

What if we put
those two ideas together?

Internet killed the TV star?

No. Bad.

Bad idea.

Good idea?

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Morning.

Oh, shit.

You all right?

Yeah.

Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bye, baby.

You need a ride?

No, I'm good. Thanks.

Good work today, man.

I should go, too.

Of course.

Yeah, 'cause I gotta, you know,

I got a big night ahead of me,
so...

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, that thing.

Sorry. I forgot.

- Oh it's a thing, so...
- Yeah.

I wouldn't want to get in
the way of you doing a thing.

Yeah.

That's what I love about you,

is that you really support me
doing my thing.

I think you're cool.

All right, bye.

I you've walked out
a hundred times I

I how was I I

I supposed to know this time
that you wouldn't come I

I that you wouldn't come home I

I but four drinks I'm wasted I

I I can see you dancing I

I I can lay down next you I

I at the foot of my bed I

I if I drink enough I

I I can taste your lipstick I

I I can lay down next to you I

I but it's all in my head I

I if I drink enough I swear I

I that I will wake up
next to you I

Pow, pow, pow, pow.

Pow.

Hey.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Did you make those changes
on the mouse trap scene?

No, we cut that, remember?

We're gonna do the
greenhouse gases bit instead?

No, Jake, greenhouse is cut
and mouse traps is in.

Wait, what?

What? No, we have to have
those moments that are serious-

we like moustraps better.

-We have so many goofy... look.

- Boo!
- The show-

- oh.
- Jesus Christ, man.

Hey, you're gonna stay on
like the whole time, right?

Just keep focused on him.

Here we go. Here we go.

Oh, you guys
have never done this before.

- How you doin'?
- Oh.

Good.

Hey.

Hey, I need to uh...

I don't know if I can do this.

You're going to be great, man.

Don't worry about it.
Don't overthink it.

Just breathe.

No, you've got to be dumb
to be smart, right?

Go be dumb.

If we do this,
you know there's no going back.

Who wants to go back?

Showtime.

Let's do it.

And action.

Thank you, severed hand.

What a response.
Give a hand to the hand.

I'm your host and I'm,
you know, I'm no one special.

And are you all um...

You're all sitting comfortably?

And when you all came
into the studio today,

You were asked to

hand over your cell phones
and sign some, some uh,

some kind of waivers.

Hey, severed hand is back.

I hope you read
the small print, folks,

'cause you've just signed
your phones over to me.

The atmosphere
is suddenly so tense.

Can you feel it at home, kids?

As we play your phone
or your dignity?

Sorry.

I don't remember.

Am I going here?
Where am I going, Candice?

Over there?

Candice told me to go here.

I don't even know.

Let's see who we got. Hi.

Everybody's miserable.

Everybody's so sad.

Why is everyone so...

It's a game show. It's fun.

Excuse me. Let me squeeze.

Bring the music, music down.
We can't hear.

Cut the music!

That's the cue to cut the-

so sir, what's your name?
Where are you from?

Um, my name is Martin.

I'm from temecula.

Beautiful name, beautiful place.

God's country.
Had an aunt from temecula.

You want to feel my carpet?

Yeah you do!

Let's go.

Here we are, me and Martin.

Come on, feel it.

You wanna lay on it?

Oh, sure.

How does that feel?

It feels like just great,
smooth.

Smooth ass carpet.

Smooth carpet.

All right,
enough fooling around folks.

Let's get on with the show.

One simple question for you,
Martin.

How badly do you need
your phone?

Um, I mean, yeah,
I use it all the time.

Right. Don't we all?

Well, Martin,
it is your lucky day

because you get to walk away
with $100

and one of these
brand spanking new devices.

These phones come with
no camera and no Internet

which means freedom from
self obsession and social media.

What a prize, am I right?

Or, Martin, you can complete
one of our challenges

to retrieve your old, needy,
soul sucking phone.

It was like 800 bucks.

Yeah, I need it.
I use it all the time.

Well if you want
your phone back, Martin,

you're going to have to
wrestle this guy for it.

Come and get your phone, Martin.

Chee-hoo!

Ah!

I'm backing you, Martin.

Yes.

Oh come on, Martin.

You're better than this.

Isn't he doing great?

And, ah, he's got it.

Give it up for Martin
from temecula, I guess.

I got my phone.

He got his phone back.

Welcome to the rest
of your life, Martin.

I'm Charles melton and I'm
here with no one special.

We're about to destroy
Chuck's phone.

- Woo!
- Got it!

Chuck m killed it.
No one special.

Stay tuned.

Noonespecial.com.

Peace!

J'and I do what I can I

I I got friends in high places I

I I get out for free I

I I got in a fight
but they don't know me I

I because in only a man I

j'and I do what I can I

I b-e-h-a-v-e arrest us I

I italiana monster
looking so precious I

I b-e-h-a-v-e never more I

I you gave up being good I

I when you declared
a state of war I

love you, no one special.

Ifucking love you.

I eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh I

I eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh I

I choose...

My dignity.

I do what I can, ooh-whoa-oh I

I 'cause I'm only a man,
do what I can I

I you're going to the party I

I and you're goin' to the show I

I I did something bad,
maybe I was wrong I

I sometimes people say
that I'm a big time bomb I

I but I'm only a man I

j'and I do what I can I

I b-e-h-a-v-e arrest us I

I italiana monster
looking so precious I

I b-e-h-a-v-e never more I

I you gave up being good I

I when you declared
a state a war I

I eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh I

I eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh I

I eh, oh, don't behave,
oh don't behave, oh I

I you're going to the party I

I and you're goin' to the show I

I 'cause I'm only a man,
do what can, ooh-whoa-oh I

I 'cause I'm only a man,
do what I can I

I you're going to the party I

I and you're goin' to the show I

I oh, whoa-oh I

I the fire hurts all right I

I 'cause we can make 'em all
go crazy I

I we can make 'em all right I

I oh, whoa-oh-oh I

hey gorgeous.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry

that we're not doing
the twinning politicians thing.

Yeah. Okay, sure.

You know I see you, right?

You see me?

I see you flirting
with that girl.

I see you.

You call that flirting? Well...

Yeah.

Oh no, I'll show you flirting.

I'll take you to the back room
right now.

Thought you've taken
enough people to the back room.

Don't hurt her.

I love that, Jake. I love it.

Eh uh, how else can I say it?

I'm just,
I'm getting a little antsy.

But I don't understand,
antsy about what?

Specifically what's going wrong?

It's not a nosedive.

It's more like, um,
like a little,

like a little, um...

Just spit it out, Mark.

We're down about 15%
since the last episode.

If you don't do something,
you will lose more.

It's science.

Just shake it up.

Get people interested again.

Get 'em back up.

It all corrects itself.

Yes. Yes.

I'm busting my ass

and you're writing
the same old tired shit.

I've been saying that for weeks.

You guys told me that I
had to stick to the formula.

It was working, now it's not.

We're all clear
it's not Jake's fault.

I wrote the greenhouse
gases bit and then that got cut.

Yeah, 'cause climate change
isn't sexy right now, Jake.

I'm sorry.
Climate change isn't sexy?

Are you out of your mind?

I didn't know the end of the
world is supposed to be sexy.

Can you take the cotton
out of your ears

and put it in your mouth
for one second

and listen to Mark?

We're losing views
and we need to get them back up,

so we need to write stuff
that's new,

not cliche, not boring.

Well it won't be boring
when the polar bears

are scratching
at our front door because

- their habitats are melted.
- Fuck.

And it won't be boring
when we don't have

any clean water to drink.

We need to get
Jake's soapbox in here, guys.

Get the viewers back up
before we lose anymore.

It's very simple.

Come up with something amazing
and new, now.

I know you hate me.

You're going to love me soon.
Trust me.

Welcome to fuckin' life, baby.

Where's the chocolate?

Are you too high and mighty?

Mm, yeah.

And you know what a fuckin'

hungry polar bear
will really do?

Eat you.

It will eat you.

You can love it from here.

Let me tell you, if you
ever met a real polar bear,

they would fuckin' eat you.

I got an idea.

What if we shifted
the way people behave online?

Not trying to take away
the phone,

but trying to put the soul back
into the phone?

What do you say we shake it up
a little bit, folks?

There's someone I'm looking for.

There's someone...

Do we have an Isabelle Roberts?

Isabelle Roberts?

Yes?

Okay, and bring around
the camera on Isabelle.

Sweetheart,
what are you waiting for?

Destiny awaits!

I don't know about this.

Yeah, you made that very clear
in the room.

Let's let it play out.

Isabelle.

That's sexy.

So Isabelle,
my source is telling me,

you mind if I lean on you?

My source is telling me
you're a big fan of Instagram,

- is that right?
- Mhm.

Okay. So let's have a look
at your best shot.

- Yeah.
- Whoa!

- Beautiful.
- What?

You gotta warn me next time

there's gonna be a supermodel
in the room.

Here we go.

What's your secret, Isabelle,
for looking so damn fresh?

I don't, I don't know.

I drink a lot of water,
I guess, and try to eat well.

Well, let's have a look
at the original version

of the photo we found
on your phone.

No, no...

Oh.

Did you know
that she had a birthmark?

That's a...

It's a birthmark.

Well...

Yeah.

Well I don't, I don't see it...

I don't see it now.

I have my makeup on.

Oh, of course.

Well, you know what?

I think that's just another
beautiful part of yourself.

What do you guys think?

Yeah!

Proud. She's proud.

Tell me something,
how many likes do you think

this version of the photo
would get?

Uh, I would, I would never...

Iwouldn't.

Are you prepared to let
the world see the real you?

What do you mean?

You're not gonna...

Oh no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, I'm not.
I'm not gonna do anything.

You are.

Isabelle.

If you hit this button,

the original version
of this photo

will be sent out
to all your followers

with the hashtag the real me,

and you'll walk away
with $400 and your phone

and a tremendous amount
of self-respect and liberation.

So what should she do audience?

Does she press the button?

Um, will you just mostly
stay on the wide for now?

Thank you.

I mean, it's pretty clear
what they want,

but it's up to you, Isabelle.

So what's it gonna be?

Your phone or your vanity?

I can't, I can't.

This is the best.

Everyone in the audience
can see it.

What are you afraid of, darling?

That these people at home
will think that you're ugly,

that they'll think
you're rejectable?

That they'll think
you're unlovable?

We are in trouble, folks. Woo.

We got innocent,
pure angels who have

somehow been brainwashed.

We are disfiguring ourselves.

Taking needles,
shoving them in our faces.

They're taking our chins
and they're

putting them in our asses.

You're saving polar bears
right now, Jake.

Okay, come on.

Stop it.

- Are you gonna stop this.
- Look, it could

- be really powerful.
- No, are you gonna stop this?

- Look at her face.
- It could be really powerful.

Let it cook, let it cook.

Are we going insane?
Are we going crazy?

I feel like I'm going crazy
every damn day.

She's cracking.

You can't stop 'em mid crack.

That's what they're doing,
Isabelle,

that's what they've done to you.

I can't watch,
but I can't stop watching.

Are we going to take
this shit anymore?

Is Isabelle going to
take this shit anymore?

You got to lead
the revolution, Isabelle,

and it's oh so simple.

All you must do
is hit that button.

Look at her face.

You're not gonna stop this?

We're stopping nothing,
my friend.

I'm gonna stop this.

What are we stopping?

This? No, no, no, no.

Stop crying.

Stop crying right now.

That's all you must do to
lead the revolution, Isabelle.

She did it, folks!

We're free now! And I'm free!

Stop crying.

Grow up.

Stop your fucking crying
right now.

Don't do this to me.

Don't ruin this for me.

Pull it together.

Just stop it.

- Hey, back up.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey. You all right?

- I got it, I got it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's great.

- She's great.
- I'm so sorry.

I'm really, really sorry,
all right?

That wasn't scripted.

You can't treat people
like that, okay?

I told you
you couldn't go there.

And I hope that you understand

that we're going to
make it up to you.

Do you want to get up here
and give it a try?

- Guys.
- Come here, baby.

Give me a kiss.

- You're a straight-up psychopath.
- Jake!

Back off, back off,
back off, back off.

- You're a psychopath.
- Jake, you gotta stop.

- You're outta line.
- I'm outta line?

- Jake you gotta stop.
- That was out of line!

- That was out line.
- Please calm down,

- please calm down.
- Yeah.

This is our head writer, Jake,
ladies and gentlemen.

He's having some kind
of a nervous breakdown.

- Hey, hey, hey!
- Stop.

- This is fucking bullshit.
- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye.

Can you give them
a helping hand?

Give him a little hand, folks.

- Jake, please, okay.
- This is ridiculous.

-This is the same-
-please, calm down.

Please, let's go talk about it.

- Please.
- Jake, goodbye, goodbye.

Take care of yourself.

Get better soon. Wow.

You think you know somebody,
and then you don't.

Jake. Jake.
Jake, you have to calm down.

He was bullying that girl.

No, she's fine.

I spoke to her.

- We're gonna edit around it.
- No, she's not fine.

She's sobbing
on the side of the stage.

Look, he was trying
something new for the show.

Fuck the show.

Who cares about the stupid show?

I do. I care about the show.

I cared about the show too,

when we were satirizing
awful people.

Now we are the awful people.

I want you to wake up
'cause you're getting swept up

in this bullshit
and you'd see it

if you weren't busy
slutting around with him.

You're so jealous of him,
it's pathetic.

I quit.

But it's up to you.

The choice is ultimately yours.

What's it gonna be, Isabelle?

Your phone, or your vanity?

What's it going to be Isabelle?

Your phone, or your vanity?

Who am I?

I'm worthless.

I hate myself.

I'm no one special.

Cut.

That was great.

- We got it.
- All right, well done.

Good work guys.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, you guys can pack up
and head home.

Thank you for a great day.

Hey, yo, guys we got
the no one special hats,

the t-shirts,
and the baseball caps came in,

so Mark has one for each of you,

and take some for the family,
for the friends, and all that.

We love you guys.

And great work. Thank you.

Okay, you think you can
get that up by tomorrow?

Yeah.

I can edit it tonight.

That's gonna work.

Hashtag real me,
we're gonna get the views back,

and what you did
with that Isabelle video

and you cut around
all of her crying.

It was, it's just like,
you're like a wizard.

It was just like mwah.

It was just perfection.

It's like so fuckin' tight.

That's too much, right?

Yeah, it's too much.

Right?

You thinking about Jake?

Yeah, a little.

Yeah, well...

It was grow or die,

and he was holding us back.

And this is just feeling
so right.

Can you feel it? Like we're
about to go stratospheric.

Looking good, looking good.

All right.

See right there. We got Desmond.

He's amazing.

New York times
just did a huge profile on him.

We got rola right over there.

Does a bit of everything:

Fashion, movies,
food trendsetter.

Single handily brought back
cauliflower this year.

That's Jake Paul, blonde.

He's 5.8 billion views
on YouTube.

- Mhm.
- You know the story.

Patrick starr, right there,
far left.

Makeup tutorial. Great.

Who's that?

The other blonde.

Oh, the dirty blonde.

That's Lana.

She's fuckin',
a huge powerhouse.

She does these makeup tutorials
for christians,

look fresh for Jesus,
made $200 million last year.

It's fuckin' huge.

- Look at that.
- That's amazing.

I've never seen that.

- That's a selfie train.
- Greetings, fellas.

No one special.

A childhood icon.

I used to be obsessed with you.

Big fan.

- Yeah, 10 years ago.
- Crazy.

- Nice to meet you.
- 12 years ago.

How are we doing? Are we set?

I'm set, you set?

Oh man, you really shot
the moon with that suit.

You look hotter
than a five dollar rolex.

Let's do this.

- Let's do it, let's do it.
- Showtime.

That's great. That's great.

Okay, show people.

I want us to have fun,
but just know

we're live streaming this
so no swearing,

especially you, Desmond.

And we're gonna go live
right over here.

All right.

Welcome back
to the Ted wick show.

That's me.

I am right here with some
of your favorite influencers,

and right now
we have the big guy.

No one special.

I gotta say, man, I think you
and the work you do

is super interesting.

Thanks for being with us.

No, thank you, Ted.

I'm very, very happy to be here.

The common thread
throughout most of your videos

seems to be a comment
on the viewer's isolation,

their over dependency
on social media, the Internet,

yet your growing popularity
is derived

from your disdain, from the
very thing making you popular.

Ka-pow.

That's crazy, Ted.

That's really insightful.
Thank you.

And your biggest success
to date is kind of a game show

where you demonstrate
the viewers addiction

to their cell phones.

Your success directly contradicts
your message, does it not?

Sorry, uh, sorry, everybody,
ijusl

are you saying I'm a sellout,
Ted?

I'm not saying anything.

I'm merely asking the questions.

All right, good.

Good, great.

See I think that you
insult the viewers.

You tell them that they're
stupid for watching us.

Wait, are you the person
that tells 10-year-old girls

to look sexy for Jesus?

No. I don't tell them
how to look sexy for Jesus.

Can you tell me
the passage in the Bible

where they talk
about contouring?

What, what is that?

Is that corinthians?
Is that Genesis?

As a matter of fact, in Genesis,

god commands us to take care
of all his creations,

and that includes ourselves.

So god is basically saying
cover up

all of your so-called flaws?

I need a root beer.

She needs a root beer.

Okay. There goes Desmond.

I'm out. Goodbye.

God, I love that Desmond.

All right.

I got to say,
what I do love about you

is how you work
to empower people.

Now, here is a recent clip
of your online game show.

What's your secret, Isabelle,

for looking so damn fresh?

I drink a lot of water, I guess?

Ah, Isabelle.

The choice is ultimately yours.
So what's it gonna be?

Is it gonna be your phone,
or your vanity?

Wow.

Look at that young lady,
she looks so happy.

And now here is
the same clip unedited.

It's just been sent to us

and it kind of tells
a different story.

Did you know about this?

I don't know.

Stop crying.

Stop crying right now.

That's all you must do to
lead the revolution, Isabelle.

Making young girls cry.

Doesn't that go against
everything you stand for?

Wow, that's good.
That's very good, Ted.

That's not supposed to
be out there.

We, we cut that out of the show.

That poor girl.
What's wrong with you?

Patrick,
spare me your faux outrage,

just for a second, okay?

That was an outtake
and we took it out.

Because you humiliated her.

It's out of context.

People take seconds at a time
and try to judge you for that.

- Exactly.
- Only that.

But now what you're doing,

you're humiliating a girl in
public, so who's the hypocrite?

- I didn't leak that clip.
- Fake news.

It's all over the Internet.

You know who made
that girl cry, Ted?

Not me.

- It was Lana.
- Excuse me?

Lana made that girl cry.

-Lana, Lana... oh, me?

Lana is spreading toxic waste
into the culture, Ted.

She is poisoning.

You are, I'm sorry, baby,
but you are.

You're poisoning the minds
and the souls and the hearts

of young girls
throughout the country,

and you are making them
soul sick

because you are telling them
subliminally and insidiously

that they are not enough
as they are,

that they are not acceptable
as they are.

That if you don't look
like a Kardashian,

then you're nothing.

That's the message
you're giving, Lana.

And let me tell you
something else

about Jesus said,
a prophet will not be accepted

in his hometown.

What?

Oh, come on, get off the cross.

We need the wood.

That poor, poor, poor,
poor girl.

How many poor's was that?

Look, she still asked
for my number

at the end of the show.

Meaning what?

Meaning she couldn't have been
that sad

because she was still
trying to fuck me.

Oh my goodness.

Oh shit, this man.

Why would you even
bring that up?

- Okay.
- You're sick.

Mr. Special, can I remind you,

we are live
and there are children watching.

Amen.

I bring it up, Lana,
because it's all

part of the same sickness.

If you bag a night
with a celebrity,

it's just another way of trying
to prove that you're worthy.

She should know she is worthy.

She shouldn't need to prove it.

That's not a life.

That's not a life worth living.

- This...
- This dude.

Why don't we talk
about your background?

We tried doing
a little research on you

before you came on the show
and we couldn't find anything.

I know what this is.

Where'd you grow up?

This is the point of the show

where you are trying
to resuscitate your career.

Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca.

- Ca!
- Take it down a notch.

Did I hit a nerve?

You want to know who I am, Ted?

You wanna know the real me?

I eat, I shit, and I'll die
like everybody else.

You want me to shit, Ted?

- I'll shit for you, Ted.
- Profanity.

Want to see the real me?

You wanna see me shit Ted?

'Cause I'll, you know,
I'll, I'll shit.

- Oh yeah, right.
- This is what happens, kids,

when you try to attack
the system.

The system will try
to attack you

and the only way
to beat the system

is to take a big, fat, shit
on it.

- Oh my...
- Security.

Woo!

Woo!

Ya-hoo!

You want a taste, honey?

Whoa, hey, hey.

Mark, get 'em Mark!

What's everyone afraid of?

It's just play-do.

Come and get me.

Come and get me, come
and get me, come and get me.

No, no, no, Mark!

Don't touch him.

I'll find someone to sue you!

This is a fight for your life!

This is the fight for your life!

Don't watch anything.

Don't view anything.

Don't like anything.

Don't click anything.

Don't let them turn you
into zombies.

They're trying to kill you,
unplug-

Go, 90, 9°, 9°,
drive, drive, drive.

- Drive, drive!
- Go, go, go, go!

- Woo!
- You are crazy!

Are you okay?

Hey.

I gotta be at this thing.

What is it?

Oh, it's just some pool party

Mark wants me to go to.

You would hate it.
You wanna come?

Okay.

All right, that's my ride.

I gotta go.

Hey.

Always us.

I greasy train wheels squeal
like crying children I

I oh yes, they shriek
like moaning lovers I

I whoa whoa whoa oh I

I greasy train wheels squeak
like crying children I

I oh yes they shriek
like moaning lovers I

I whoa whoa whoa oh I

I all the love is flowing
from my heart I

I all the love is flowing
from my heart I

thank you.

Hey.

Is that your song?

Yeah.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

I really need your help.

It's all falling apart
and I need you to come back

so I can put it back together.

I want to go back
to the way things were.

I want to incorporate
more of your ideas.

I can't.

Was it you that leaked
the footage of Isabelle?

Wow, really?

Is that why you came back here?

To see if I leaked
the fucking video?

You think I want to subject
that girl

to even more humiliation?

Who do you think I am?

He's full of shit.

That's not even his name.

He's not who he says he is.

I spoke to his brother.

He was the one yelling at him
in the graveyard.

He's a rich kid.

Really. His parents are alive.

Link's parents died.

His brother tracked us down.

Here.

Read this.

Okay?

There's a lot in here.

He burned down his school.
He's been institutionalized.

The family is covering it up.

You can call me jealous,
you can call me pathetic,

but I am telling you
he is a liar

and you need to open your eyes.

Why would you do this?

Because I'm in love with you.

And I've always been in love
with you,

and I know that doesn't
even matter, but I am.

I'm sorry.

What do you call that?

Trust me,
I'm gonna get you out of here.

You gotta kick the habit.

Do you eat peanuts?

There's a lot of peanuts
in Thai food.

All right,
intimacy levels are too high.

Abort mission.

Why'd you do that?

It's beautiful,
it's a part of you.

You gotta be dumb to be smart.

Shit!

Hey Frankie.

Hey Frankie.

Hey Frankie.

Hey Frankie.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

- I just cut my hand.
- Oh, shit.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, no, no.

- Can I see?
- Yeah, yeah.

Ow.

I'm sorry.

- It's okay.
- That sucks.

Okay, keep pressure on it.

I'll get you something.

Uh, let's see
what we got in here.

We're gonna fix you up.

Here, this is going to be nice.

Let me see.

I wanted to tell you
I got this kind of big news

and I didn't want to share
with anybody but you.

What is it?

They want me to headline
a live stream event for YouTube.

And I just realized that I got
nothing to say without you.

It scares me.

I've never felt this way about
another human being before.

I you've gotta wonder
what the story means I

I it's under all of us,
it goes unseen I

I you've given your purpose I

I now they've taken your dream I

I but you can't hide
behind the two extremes I

I your weight in the world I

I could definitely do it.

Yeah, it's very easy to do.

What the fuck?

It's crazy.

It's crazy.

Imagine this place
full of people?

A couple hundred
lucky ticket holders,

an estimated
five million watching live.

- Around the world!
- Around the world!

Crazy.

And Mark thinks
I can fly in from the back.

Why?

Spectacle is why. Look at this.

But we haven't even figured out
what we're gonna say?

Maybe we'll figure that out
later.

And you're even gonna hear 'em
over the screaming anyway.

Let me show you something.

You guys wanna see
something crazy?

Sure.

This right here,
this is a trap door.

Whoa!

Oh!

Roberts faced heavy trolling

on social media after a clip
surfaced of the game show.

Mr. Special defended his
actions at a round table discussion

where he accused Ms. Roberts
of trying to seduce him.

She couldn't have been that sad

because she was still trying.

If you bag a night
with a celebrity,

it's just another way of trying
to prove that you're worthy.

She shouldn't need to prove it.
That's not a life.

That's not a life worth living.

Early reports suggest

she hanged herself
in her bedroom closet.

A coroner at the scene
says he does not believe...

Mark.

Mark.

Have you seen this?

Everybody hates me.

Everyone's blaming me.

It says
no one special's canceled.

This asshole
needs to burn in hell.

How are we going to fix it?

You told her
her life wasn't worth living.

I didn't ask her
to kill herself.

Are you blaming me, too?

Oh, oh, oh.

Wow, wow, wow, fu...

A girl is dead
and all you care about

is what people
are saying about you.

Jake talked to your brother.

Have you told me
one single thing that was true?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't stop you.

Hey guys, so I read the news
about link and Isabelle

and I want to apologize
for even having

that guy on the show.

To Isabelle,
my condolences go out to you.

This makes me so mad.

This could have been prevented.

- What's up with this dude?
- You're a joke.

- This woman is dead...
- Thrown in jail!

That girl
was just a fuckin' ho...

- He had very good points.
- Murderer.

He killed that girl.

I like
how he tells it how it is.

This guy is an a-one scumbag.

I think that no one special
should be president.

-I just wanna say-
-fuck no one special.

- You suck.
- We love no one special.

I want to dedicate this
performance to Isabelle Roberts.

Isabelle was an amazing girl

and she passed away tragically
two days ago.

I want to send out all my love,

my thoughts, and my prayers
to her family and her friends.

And I wanna say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I've been told that I should
feel some responsibility

for what happened and...

But I can't just stand here
and...

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

That, that part's canceled.

I can't just stand here
and accept responsibility

for someone else's choices,
actions,

and in fact it was you
who pushed her

over the fucking cliff's edge.

Yeah, you,
with your gutless trolling.

You killed her, motherfucker!

All of you killed her.

That's the truth.

And you're trying
to kill me, too,

and I'm not gonna let it happen.

No, not today.

Not ever.

Easy to talk shit when
it's behind a screen, right?

What about right now?
I dare you.

Come through that computer
screen you're hiding behind,

stand in this room, stand
face to face, do it to my face.

Anybody in the room, anybody?

Look, maybe I did push
Isabelle too far. Maybe I did.

I pushed her too far.
Maybe I was using her for views.

I'll cop to that,
but I did it for you.

You see what this shit
is doing to us?

We're not real to each other
anymore

and we're all
just using each other.

This isn't a vi...

I'm not a video game.
I'm not two dimensional.

I'm not two-d.
I'm flesh and I'm blood.

You're all flesh and blood.

Isabelle was flesh and blood.

We're all just
fucking killing each other,

like it's sport.

We're fucked.

Oh, you want me to be nice?

I almost had you, didn't I?

With the candles
and the choir and the singing.

That's what we want him to say.
What a good boy.

He's playing so nice.

We can let him back in the club.

Fuck that club!

I'm trying to wake you up
from that club,

you numbed out,
dead inside zombies!

You're all dead!

You're all numb!

I'm sorry.

This is the first time
in my life

where I felt a part
of something bigger than me,

something that I don't
want to lose.

I don't want to lose you,

but I refuse
to let you straitjacket me!

I can't.

I gotta speak my truth, man.

I gotta speak my truth.

You know, what's crazy?

I want to do what I want.

I'm on the stage.
I don't give a fuck.

I'll fuckin' hump the stage.

I'm not gonna play
fucking coldplay songs.

I'm not gonna play
coldplay songs.

Fucking watch coldplay!

You're trying to kill my deep,
profound,

life giving impulse.

I'm not gonna let you do it.

No! Hell no.

Not today.

You know what the best part
of all this is?

You're just the same as me,

way down there
in that deep dark pit

you're afraid to look inside.

I'm just the only one
that's willing to say it.

My name is Alex goodrich.

I'm from Connecticut,

and this is the first time
I'm telling you the truth.

And all I need to know is

are you with me
or are you against me?

And if you're with me,
click that like button.

Fuck you.

You're welcome.

No one special! No one special!

No one special! No one special!

No one special!

Special, special,
special, special, special,

special, special, special.

I seeing it fell down I

I didn't make a sound I

I can you live here anymore I

I what's outside your door I

I home is on the floor I

I can you be here anymore I

I it's taken longer
than you've seen back home I

I yeah I

I seeing it fell down I

I didn't make a sound I

I can you live here anymore I

I what's outside your door I

I home is on the floor I

I can you be here anymore I

I it's taken longer
than you've seen back home I

I it's harder
in the background I

I you try to make someone
confused I

I they're seeing
where you come from I

I it's worse
when it's all you can do I

I ooh ooh ooh I

I it's harder
in the background I

I you try to make someone
confused I

I they're seeing
where you come from I

I it's worse
when it's all you can do I

I seeing it fell down I

I didn't make a sound I

I can you live here anymore I

I what's outside your door I

I home is on the floor I

I can you be here anymore I

I it's taken longer
than you've seen back home I

I it's harder
in the background I

I you try to make someone
confused I

I they're seeing
where you come from I

I it's worse
when it's all you can do I

I ooh ooh ooh I

I it's harder
in the background I

I you try to make someone
confused I

I they're seeing
where you come from I

I it's worse
when it's all you can do I

I ooh ooh ooh I