All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] Resident.Alien.S02E08.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[eztv.re]_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish Download
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:03,960 - Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,350 - This city is an assault on my senses. 3 00:00:05,390 --> 00:00:06,310 [screams] - Who the hell is 4 00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:07,570 Galvan/Powell Group? 5 00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:09,400 - You have no idea who you are dealing with. 6 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,010 - Constellation Ursa Major. 7 00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,050 That is where we will find Goliath. 8 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,180 - People already think Patience is a murder town. 9 00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:17,660 You want them to think it's an alien town too? 10 00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,880 - Jessup is trying to build a five-star resort. 11 00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:21,230 Who says it's gotta be Jessup? 12 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,110 That Grady property up on the ridge 13 00:00:23,150 --> 00:00:24,720 is beggin' to be developed. 14 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,330 - I think you're pregnant. 15 00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,810 When you're ready, it'll be there. 16 00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:29,500 - Dr. Smallwood-- - He's trying to fire you. 17 00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:31,290 - And now we officially have no doctor. 18 00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,120 - Dr. Vanderspeigle is our only real candidate. 19 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,290 - He has a birthday comin' up. 20 00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:37,470 - The alien we went to see was dead. 21 00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:39,510 - Goliath held out for as long as he could. 22 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,910 - But he gave birth to an egg. - No! 23 00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,170 - And now it's in Harry's bag. 24 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,080 Do you even know when it will hatch? 25 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,130 all: Surprise! 26 00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:49,040 [suspenseful music] 27 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:56,180 ♪ 28 00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,200 - So where is this alien ball, 29 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,030 and how do I know that video wasn't a fake? 30 00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:18,550 - You're gonna have to trust me. 31 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,820 - Last time I saw you, I was going to have you killed. 32 00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:24,820 Seems like trusting you is moving backwards. 33 00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:26,730 ♪ 34 00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:28,690 I want to see it. 35 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:35,660 ♪ 36 00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:43,230 What do you want? 37 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:48,320 - I give you the ball, I get my life back-- 38 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,410 honorable discharge, full pension. 39 00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:53,150 Nobody trying to-- [gunshot] 40 00:01:53,200 --> 00:02:00,330 ♪ 41 00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:11,950 [Brown Bird's "Bilgewater" plays] 42 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:18,960 ♪ 43 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,570 - Get out of my house! 44 00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:23,530 - Happy Birthday, Dr. Vanderspeigle. 45 00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:25,360 Glad to have you back in Patience. 46 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,620 - Wow, Harry. It's a surprise party. 47 00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:29,750 - That's right. Honoring the birthday 48 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,230 of one of our town's most esteemed residents, 49 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,540 Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle. 50 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,800 - Here's to another trip around the Sun, Dr. V. 51 00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,670 By the way, the break and enter was Ben's idea. 52 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,290 - Ah, now, now. No breaking, just entering. 53 00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:41,550 The door was unlocked. 54 00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:42,810 - Yeah, after you climbed through the window 55 00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,030 and unlocked it. 56 00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:46,160 - Out of respect for our wonderful friend-- 57 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,160 nay, our partner, really-- 58 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:51,040 who deserves to be celebrated for, if nothing else, 59 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,340 his kindness. 60 00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,560 - You are all trespassing and should be in prison. 61 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,740 [laughter] 62 00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,300 - He's jokin'. - No he's not. 63 00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,780 - Thanks for the heads-up. 64 00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:01,310 - I wasn't invited. I'm just hungry. 65 00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:02,480 - Here, let me grab this for you. 66 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,000 - No! I can put that away! 67 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,180 - Ah, no way. 68 00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:06,700 No worrying about luggage for you. 69 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,840 - Whoa, close call there. [chuckles] 70 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,140 All right, let's get the festivities started. 71 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:15,490 - I do not like having people at my house uninvited. 72 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,630 - Well, now you know how Earth felt when you got here. 73 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,370 Okay, I'll get rid of everyone. 74 00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:22,020 Just take that thing downstairs. 75 00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:24,240 - Only half of it is "thing." 76 00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,030 The other half is alien. 77 00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:29,030 [dramatic music] 78 00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:30,550 - Sure. 79 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,950 - Oh, Dr. Vanderspeigle, how was your trip? 80 00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:35,080 I heard you went to a medical conference in New York. 81 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,520 - Yes, I went to an art party, 82 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,480 and took illegal drugs. - [laughs] 83 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,260 You know, I went to an art party once. 84 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,700 Well, it wasn't an art party. 85 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:44,920 It was--I guess you could call that art-- 86 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,260 - Do you have a pet spider? 87 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,010 Because it's in your hair. - What? 88 00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:49,010 - Yeah. - [screams] 89 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,960 - Oh. - No, no, no. 90 00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:52,310 No. No. - Yes. 91 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,320 - Where is it? 92 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,190 - It is gone now. 93 00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:57,100 - What? [door clicks shut] 94 00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,760 [panting] Mm-mm. Nope. 95 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:06,150 ♪ 96 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,290 - So when you gonna ask Dr. V 97 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,330 to be the town doctor, Ben? 98 00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,720 - I don't know what you're talking about. 99 00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:13,380 - Come on, man. This is what this is all about. 100 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,810 You're wooing him. Look. 101 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:16,990 Word of advice: get him drunk before you ask him. 102 00:04:17,030 --> 00:04:18,380 It'll help smooth the woo. 103 00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:19,950 - I'm just showing appreciation. 104 00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,820 There's--there's no woo. 105 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,260 - Hey, Ben. 106 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,740 Thanks for pulling all this together. 107 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:28,480 Um, Harry's not really feeling very well, 108 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,130 so maybe we could do this another night. 109 00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,830 - Ah, can't. 110 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,700 It's a special night for Harry, and if he's not feeling well, 111 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,230 then by golly, we will nurse him back to health 112 00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,230 together as a town. 113 00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:39,320 We're stayin'. 114 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,450 - [sniffs] Woo... 115 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,230 ♪ 116 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,670 - Ben, that's very-- - Excuse me. 117 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,020 - Kay. An alien baby kills you, 118 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,940 it's not my fault. 119 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,900 ♪ 120 00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,940 - I do not understand why humans celebrate their births. 121 00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:58,510 Everyone who is alive has been born. 122 00:04:58,550 --> 00:05:00,120 It is not special. 123 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,340 A birthday party is just a participation trophy. 124 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,520 [sighs] 125 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,960 - It's my grandmother's secret deviled egg recipe. 126 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,740 I snuck into her desk and stole it when I was ten. 127 00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,350 She's hated me ever since. 128 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,750 - Mmm. Well, these are insane. 129 00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:18,700 I mean, it's horrible to lose your grandmother, but worth it. 130 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,050 - Last Christmas, she said she hopes she dies soon 131 00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,230 so she can haunt me and steal my soul. 132 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,060 She holds a grudge. 133 00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:29,370 - Mm, not for me. I'm not a fan of yolk mixtures 134 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:32,150 or having my soul taken by an angry ghost. 135 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,280 - Just try one. 136 00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:35,240 - I would, but I said no. 137 00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:39,160 - ♪ Know that I'll be coming right back ♪ 138 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,640 ♪ Tomorrow's dream 139 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,420 - Fine, yeah. I'll, uh, have a bite. 140 00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:47,600 ♪ 141 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:49,740 Oh, my God. Mmm. 142 00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:52,350 It's a delicate farm in my mouth. 143 00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,310 Mmm. - No. 144 00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:55,870 You doubted them. - I didn't doubt it. 145 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,130 - You don't deserve a second one. 146 00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,700 - No, I do. - The second one 147 00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,050 is even better somehow. 148 00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,750 It's like I can taste the farmer's wife 149 00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:03,310 calling her family in for supper, like... 150 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,190 [inhales] Mmm. 151 00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:07,410 "Comin', Mama." 152 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,970 Mmm. 153 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,670 "I'm comin'." 154 00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:13,630 - But I wanna taste farm supper... 155 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,110 - What did you do with it? - It is in the bunker. 156 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,330 It is safe. 157 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:20,850 - Glad the alien in the cellar is safe. 158 00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,420 Harry, what if it hatches down there? 159 00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:28,030 - Mm, alien babies have a big appetite 160 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:32,080 for high-calorie junky food. - Uh-huh. 161 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:35,390 - There's nothing more junky than a human. 162 00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:37,610 We are in danger. 163 00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:38,870 - We have to get everyone out of here. 164 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,480 - [groans] - Make yourself look sick. 165 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,530 Oh, that's good. 166 00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,440 Yes. Good. 167 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,440 - I have not done anything yet. 168 00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:46,840 - Oh. 169 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,790 Sorry. 170 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,410 It's good, though. - [growls] 171 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:54,230 - Oh, there he is! 172 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,890 all: ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 173 00:06:57,930 --> 00:07:00,890 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 174 00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:05,120 ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 175 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,250 ♪ Which nobody can deny 176 00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:08,550 - All right. 177 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,900 - You think I am a good fellow? 178 00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:11,820 - And jolly. 179 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,730 And so sick... sick. - Mm. 180 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:17,210 - Sick... of being alone, maybe. 181 00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,350 It's your birthday. 182 00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,650 It is your special day. 183 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,480 All this is for you. 184 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,650 Plus, cake. 185 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,920 If, uh, Jay ever shows up with it. 186 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:25,880 - Can it be pie? 187 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,920 - No. - Pie it is. 188 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,880 - I feel better! You can stay. 189 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,660 - You sure, Doc? You still look kind of pale. 190 00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:33,930 - It is my Dutch skin. 191 00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:36,760 - You hear that everyone? Our good cheer has cured him. 192 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,500 I'm gonna get that pie for you. - Mm-hmm. 193 00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,890 - Great. I have enough eggs to last 194 00:07:39,930 --> 00:07:41,760 all night, but we may need more ice, 195 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,630 because if they don't stay chilled, they go south fast. 196 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,550 - I got you, Deputy. You got ice down 197 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,500 in that meat freezer of yours, right? 198 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,680 - Do not go down there. 199 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,160 The floor's cracked, and if you step on it, 200 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,990 you'll break your mama's back. Here. 201 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,130 - What'd he say about my mama? - [sighs] 202 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,520 - Today is all about celebrating 203 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,440 the birth of a man I murdered 204 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,530 and threw in the frozen lake. 205 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,920 Ice seems appropriate. [sniffs] 206 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,400 Sulfur. 207 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,490 [suspenseful music] 208 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:22,630 ♪ 209 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:24,980 Hello? 210 00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,890 ♪ 211 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:27,940 Oh... 212 00:08:33,290 --> 00:08:34,380 - [sighs] 213 00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:37,120 - Hmm. - Wow, soda. 214 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,250 You handling heavy machinery later? 215 00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,690 - Right, you were out of town. We haven't talked. 216 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:42,300 I stopped drinking. 217 00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:43,390 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 218 00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:44,870 - Since when? - 1:00. 219 00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,560 - Last night? - This afternoon. 220 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,260 You gotta start somewhere. - [chuckles] 221 00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,310 - You know, been eating healthy... 222 00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:50,610 getting back in shape. 223 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,610 Oh! I even started going to the gym again. 224 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,790 - Wow, I love that. 225 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,010 - Feels pretty good. 226 00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:56,400 - [clears throat] - Hey, 227 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,230 still waiting on a invite to come here tonight. 228 00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:01,410 Email not a thing anymore? 229 00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,020 - [whispers] Open wide. 230 00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:04,100 - Hey hun. - Hey. 231 00:09:04,150 --> 00:09:05,410 - You, uh, having fun? 232 00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:07,240 - Yeah. Um, are they gonna do 233 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,150 anything about that sulfur smell? 234 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,550 [whispers] I'm gonna barf. 235 00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:13,720 - I don't smell anything. [chuckles] 236 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,550 Hey, uh, remember when you were pregnant, 237 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:17,990 and you had that sense of smell like a superhero? 238 00:09:18,030 --> 00:09:19,950 Hope you're not pregnant. [chuckles] 239 00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:21,770 Could you imagine? - [laughs] 240 00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:23,170 Yeah, right? 241 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:24,340 - [smacks lips] Mmm, I'm gonna get 242 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,820 some sweet gherkins. You want anything? 243 00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:27,130 - Oh, sure don't. 244 00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,780 Sure don't. 245 00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:31,960 - This is a problem. 246 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,440 Even at birth, my alien kind 247 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,350 is very strong and agile. 248 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,830 That thing could be anywhere by now. 249 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,450 If it were a fully human baby, it would be much easier. 250 00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:44,140 Human infants are the only mammal whose main attribute 251 00:09:44,190 --> 00:09:45,490 is helplessly flopping. 252 00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:46,840 [metal clanking] 253 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,450 - Need some help with that ice down there, Doc? 254 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,500 - No. 255 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,540 I am good at ice-carrying. 256 00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:53,720 [metal clanks] 257 00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,860 - You sure? I'll come down and help. 258 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,340 - No, no! 259 00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,470 I want to carry it myself. 260 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,740 Ice feels good on my nipples. 261 00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:15,700 - Thanks, Doc. Damn, you smell like sulfur. 262 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,610 What, you have an outhouse party down there? 263 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,610 - No. 264 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,400 It is not sulfur. [chuckles] 265 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,140 What are you, crazy? 266 00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:25,360 It is the deputy's eggs. They are stinky. 267 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,660 - Well, that makes sense. 268 00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,490 Yeah, those things are delicious but deadly. 269 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,670 You gotta stop at two, or it's like eating a butt gun. 270 00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:34,800 - I would not fire a gun made out of butts. 271 00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:40,850 - The mayonnaise is homemade, and I mix the yolks by hand. 272 00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:42,330 - Mm. - And I don't use 273 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,860 canola oil like most people. 274 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,160 The key is olive oil. 275 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,210 It really brings out the eggy flavor. 276 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:51,380 - Mm. Yum. 277 00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:52,430 Just... excuse me. - Okay. 278 00:10:52,470 --> 00:10:55,170 - Just one second. - Okay. 279 00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:59,260 ♪ 280 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,000 - [coughs] 281 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:03,920 [sighs] 282 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,700 [sighs] 283 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,750 [soft music] 284 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,930 ♪ And I'm sorry for all I've taken ♪ 285 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,060 ♪ And I'm sorry for all I've let loose ♪ 286 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,190 ♪ 287 00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:18,890 ♪ I wanna be true 288 00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:22,720 ♪ I wanna be forgiven 289 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,290 ♪ 290 00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:28,250 ♪ For givin' up 291 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:31,950 ♪ On everything I knew 292 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:34,040 ♪ 293 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,860 ♪ I wanna be true 294 00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:37,780 - I'm serious. If you're wearing nurse scrubs 295 00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,610 and you're running, stores will pretty much 296 00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:42,960 let you take anything for free. Uh-huh. 297 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,480 Yeah. Of course. 298 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,700 No, sorry, anything. 299 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,660 - Okay, so I marked all the military installations 300 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,660 where they could be holding the alien ball. 301 00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:55,670 I circled the underground ones nobody knows about. 302 00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,450 - Ben's throwing a surprise birthday party for Dr. V., 303 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,930 but he's just doing that to trick him 304 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,760 into being town doctor again. 305 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,630 It's this big secret. 306 00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:06,240 Yeah. I told everyone. 307 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,030 - Town doctor? 308 00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:09,550 What happened to Dr. Ethan? 309 00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,680 - He left town the night the Men in Black were here. 310 00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,080 - You mean the night you told the Men in Black 311 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,340 Dr. Ethan was the alien? 312 00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,560 - Yeah, that night. 313 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,510 Guess Dr. Ethan just didn't like it here. 314 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,520 - Is your brain in your butt? - I hope not. 315 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,650 - Don't you realize what happened? 316 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,780 The Men in Black took Dr. Ethan. 317 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,790 As soon as they figure out he's human, 318 00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,700 they'll know the alien is still in Patience 319 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,360 and come back looking for him. 320 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,790 We have to go to that party and warn Asta. 321 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,360 - How? We have a babysitter. 322 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,060 - We'll get her to fall asleep. 323 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,630 I know what to do. 324 00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:45,930 Same way my Aunt Azadeh conks out when she visits. 325 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:49,370 - Sleeping pills? - No... 326 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:52,380 calm-voiced nature videos. 327 00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:54,550 [suspicious music] 328 00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:55,940 - What you gonna do with all them pickles? 329 00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:57,420 - Uh, those are not pickles. 330 00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:58,820 Those are sweet gherkins, 331 00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,210 or, uh, cornichons. 332 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,690 - Did you just correct me on how to say a pickle? 333 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,950 - No. I'm just sayin'. 334 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,780 - I'm gonna get some punch. 335 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,830 Hey, how's the punch? - It fell. 336 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,830 - What? 337 00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:13,790 - What? 338 00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,840 - What? 339 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:19,790 - What? 340 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,060 Oh, no. - Huh? 341 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,540 I didn't-- 342 00:13:32,590 --> 00:13:35,590 [dramatic music] 343 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,420 - It's pretty, huh? 344 00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,950 - Yeah, it's amazing. 345 00:13:40,990 --> 00:13:42,160 I used to spend a lot of time here 346 00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:43,340 when you were dating Harry. 347 00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,730 - Oh, yeah. I wouldn't call it dating. 348 00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:47,560 It was really more of a drive-by. [chuckles] 349 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,300 So any exciting news? 350 00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:53,650 - No, I haven't taken the test yet. 351 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,960 If I take the test and it's positive, 352 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,880 then I'm pregnant. 353 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,840 - Yeah, that's not how it works. 354 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,840 ♪ 355 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,840 - You know, I was just talking to Harry about New York. 356 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,890 All I could think about was how exciting it would be 357 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,760 to live there, you know? 358 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,590 The art shows, the theatre, all of it. 359 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,900 Why can't that be my life? 360 00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,290 - I don't know. Why can't it? 361 00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:22,250 - Because I'm stuck here, 362 00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:23,810 pushing out babies like a stray dog. 363 00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,990 Ugh... the ones with all the nipples? 364 00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,910 - So many nipples. - Huge, huge nipples. 365 00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,870 You adopt one, it turns over. Nipple. 366 00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:34,870 - [sighs] 367 00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:38,870 ♪ 368 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,480 - Come on. 369 00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:42,140 Let's go pee on a stick. 370 00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:43,440 Hold your breath. 371 00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:44,750 Liv just brought out a new tray of eggs. 372 00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:48,970 - Ugh. 373 00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:51,620 - The size of the bull elk's antlers 374 00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:55,320 depends on how much sunlight the elk gets. 375 00:14:55,370 --> 00:15:01,200 Here, this elk basks in the warm rays of the midday sun. 376 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,680 A full-sized male's antlers can grow up to an inch per day 377 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,340 during the summer months. 378 00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:10,340 They're typically fully grown by mid-August. 379 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,430 If he is able to-- 380 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,520 - Hey! 381 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,650 Where are you going? 382 00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:15,950 - Bike ride? - Taking out the garbage! 383 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,910 - Just come home before your parents get back. 384 00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:21,520 No drugs! 385 00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:24,570 - She's a horrible babysitter. - Yeah. 386 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,450 [ominous music] 387 00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:38,320 ♪ 388 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,500 - Ooh... 389 00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,980 [sizzling] 390 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:48,160 ♪ 391 00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:51,210 What the hell? 392 00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,210 Hmm. 393 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,300 - Harry? - No, just me. 394 00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:03,220 Just me in here peein'. - Sorry. 395 00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,700 - God, I can't hold the stick. My hand's shaking too much. 396 00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:07,920 - Okay, give it to me. 397 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:08,880 I'll hold it. I'll hold it. 398 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,010 - You sure? - Yeah. 399 00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,570 Okay, it's in position. Go. 400 00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:14,880 And you just pissed on my hand. 401 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:22,020 ♪ 402 00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:25,020 [knocking] 403 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,630 - There you are. What are you doing? 404 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,680 - I am enjoying my birthday candy. 405 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,250 - Have you checked on the egg? 406 00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:37,730 'Cause if there's any chance that it will hatch, 407 00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,560 we have to get everyone out of this party right now. 408 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,130 - The party cannot end. There is pie coming. 409 00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,090 Do not worry. The baby will not hatch. 410 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:48,000 It is definitely still inside of its shell. 411 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,570 [quirky music] 412 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,920 Nowhere else! 413 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,570 - Okay. It's still a party, though, 414 00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,050 so you can't just hide in the bedroom, 415 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,710 or people will be suspicious. - Mm. 416 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,930 - Come talk to someone, 417 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,140 and don't be weird. 418 00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,710 [whispers] And here we go. 419 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,200 - I will talk to Dan because he has food. 420 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,290 And that is not weird. 421 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,680 Hi, Dan. 422 00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:19,160 Here is some money for my meal, 423 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:23,860 and I'll also take a side of fries at the table. 424 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,820 [radio music playing] 425 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:33,130 ♪ 426 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,100 - Really sorry about that. 427 00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,880 - Oh, don't worry. 428 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,800 I've been peed on before. 429 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,100 - I have too. 430 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,800 I kind of like it. 431 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,500 - I was talking about a frog I picked up when I was a kid. 432 00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:49,630 - Yeah, frogs. 433 00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:50,590 Me too. 434 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,420 [device chimes] - Oh. 435 00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,370 Time's up. 436 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,510 - Shit. 437 00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,990 [sighs] 438 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,560 - [weakly] Congratulations. 439 00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,300 You gonna tell Ben the good news? 440 00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,000 - Not until I'm convinced it's good news. 441 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,960 [dramatic music] 442 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,660 - Why? If you get overwhelmed, 443 00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:21,270 just think back on a time when life was simple, 444 00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,660 and you were just a woman 445 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,010 pissin' on another woman. 446 00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:25,750 - [laughs] 447 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,450 - You got this, Hawthorne. 448 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:29,060 - [laughs] 449 00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,930 [Logan Staats' "Vampires" plays] 450 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,320 - ♪ Please darlin' 451 00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:37,460 ♪ Take mercy on my broken heart, yeah ♪ 452 00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,110 ♪ And take my soul if you want what's left of it ♪ 453 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,330 - You're not gonna believe it. 454 00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:44,510 Eugena Plunkett came in, saying she saw a UFO 455 00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:47,430 a couple of months ago in Patience. 456 00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:50,520 Can you imagine? - That seems... crazy. 457 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,300 - Remember that camping trip when we were kids, 458 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,910 like when Ben saw something, and he ran, and everyone 459 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,350 followed him, and I stayed back by the fire? 460 00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:00,700 - Yeah, I think so. 461 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,830 But he didn't see anything, right? 462 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,270 - No. - No. 463 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,050 Yeah. No. 464 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,190 - But I did. 465 00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:11,970 - Really? 466 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,150 What? 467 00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:16,670 - A UFO. 468 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,280 A real-life UFO. 469 00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,370 Don't you wanna believe... 470 00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,290 that we're not alone, 471 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,990 like, that there's something bigger than us out there? 472 00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:30,860 - Sure. Um, but not in Patience. 473 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,690 I mean, we just barely got a pizza place. 474 00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:35,130 I am sure there are not aliens here. 475 00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:38,390 - You're probably right. 476 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:42,220 It's just fun to think about sometimes. 477 00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,390 - Hello. - Hello. 478 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,530 - Jay's here. Okay. 479 00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:48,830 Pretend like you're talking to me, would you? 480 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,100 - I am talking to you. 481 00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:51,450 - Right. Oh God. 482 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:54,230 I'm so--I just get so nervous when she's around. 483 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,580 I mean, I've been giving her space, you know? 484 00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,710 But I'm--it just feels like it's been forever, 485 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,190 and her 18th birthday is in two days. 486 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,240 Am I talking fast? - Mm-hmm. 487 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,150 - Talking fast. She's driving now. 488 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,070 - Yeah, she's our best customer. 489 00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:07,160 We've given her, like, six tickets. 490 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,120 - Oh. I'm so sorry. 491 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,340 - Mm-mm. Breathe. 492 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:13,340 - [sighs] Okay. 493 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,560 - Yeah. - [whispers] She's coming. 494 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,300 - She's on her way. - Don't pass out. 495 00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:21,040 - Hi. - Hey, how are you? 496 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,130 How are you? 497 00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,480 - I'm good. 498 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:28,310 Um, so my birthday's coming up, which you know. 499 00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:30,700 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there. 500 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,310 [both laugh] 501 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:36,140 - Yeah, so... look, I was wondering if you might want 502 00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:38,100 to do something that day. 503 00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:40,230 Just, um-- just you and me. 504 00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:44,240 - Really? - Yeah, you know... 505 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,540 just, like, lunch or something. 506 00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,630 It's no big deal. Just hang out. 507 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,980 - Uh... 508 00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:51,900 I would love that. 509 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,290 - Okay. Um, great. 510 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,030 Pick me up at the diner at 1:00? 511 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,250 Maybe we can check out that new Mexican place? 512 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,780 - I can't wait. 513 00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:04,390 - Okay. Um, I'm gonna go... 514 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,740 I'm gonna go eat as much food as I can 515 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:07,870 before Mr. Hawthorne kicks me out. 516 00:21:07,910 --> 00:21:09,700 - Sure. Cool. 517 00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:12,700 [dramatic music] 518 00:21:12,740 --> 00:21:19,660 ♪ 519 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,410 [laughs] 520 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,590 ♪ 521 00:21:27,630 --> 00:21:29,890 [laughs] 522 00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:33,160 ♪ 523 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,590 [sighs] 524 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,330 [knocking] - Hey, are you okay? 525 00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,250 - Yeah, I'm great. 526 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,770 - I just need to pee. [sink water flows] 527 00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:42,770 ♪ 528 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:46,130 [sniffling] 529 00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:49,300 [sighs] 530 00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:52,480 [screams] 531 00:21:53,610 --> 00:21:56,350 - Let me in. I know you're upset. 532 00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:03,400 ♪ 533 00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:05,930 - I'm fine. Just... sneezed. 534 00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:08,100 Um, have you seen Harry? 535 00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:09,240 - Don't be too self-conscious. 536 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,720 I had a bunch of them eggs too. 537 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,670 You get in line. I'ma be a while. 538 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,460 Don't stand by the door neither, a'ight? 539 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,720 - You're the one that said not to be self-conscious-- 540 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,380 - Get away from the damn door! 541 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:19,940 I still see your feet! - All right. 542 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:26,040 - [grunts] Ow. 543 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,650 - Looking for something? 544 00:22:28,690 --> 00:22:30,740 - I wanted to heat up pie. 545 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:33,700 - [whispers] The baby hatched, and you knew it! 546 00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:36,260 - What? This is news to me. 547 00:22:36,310 --> 00:22:38,570 How did you not tell me this sooner? 548 00:22:38,610 --> 00:22:40,570 - Stop it. I saw it in the bathroom! 549 00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,660 - [groans] - And it has teeth! 550 00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:45,050 What kind of baby has teeth? 551 00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:46,620 - Oh, an alien baby. 552 00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:51,320 They're very good at ripping things... or people. 553 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,800 Everyone! We have to leave the house! 554 00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:56,940 - No. No, no. 555 00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:58,240 I saw it run outside. 556 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,460 - Everyone, we need to stay inside the house! 557 00:23:02,510 --> 00:23:03,550 - Harry... - We should keep 558 00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:05,940 everyone together. 559 00:23:05,990 --> 00:23:08,990 Outside is not safe. 560 00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,860 [suspenseful music] 561 00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:17,390 - Now, any cop that's ever been a cop in D.C. 562 00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:18,960 is there, right? Which is just-- 563 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,660 that's just the way it is at Kelly's when a cop retires. 564 00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,050 So the next thing you know, 565 00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:24,830 we hear all these people screaming, right? 566 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,830 We don't know what's going on. 567 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,100 Did a fight break out, you know? 568 00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:29,140 Who knows? And I look, 569 00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:32,670 and parting the sea of bodies is a goat. 570 00:23:32,710 --> 00:23:34,710 - What? - Jesse had snuck a goat 571 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,540 into the bar and just let it loose. 572 00:23:36,580 --> 00:23:38,410 [laughter] 573 00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:41,550 See, now that was Jesse! [laughter] 574 00:23:41,590 --> 00:23:43,420 - Good to see you laughin'. 575 00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:45,380 - Hey Dad, can I talk to you for a second? 576 00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:46,510 - Okay. 577 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:49,250 - Oh, and this other time... 578 00:23:49,290 --> 00:23:50,900 - [whispering] The alien baby hatched. 579 00:23:50,950 --> 00:23:52,080 It's loose! 580 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,380 - [whispering] Is that a bad thing? 581 00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:55,040 - It's not a good thing. 582 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,950 Keep everyone together, and don't let anyone outside, okay? 583 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,350 Harry's really worried. 584 00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:02,700 - He doesn't look worried. - Huh? 585 00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:05,440 - [laughing] I do not like this gift. 586 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,310 - Didn't I, uh, give you that last Christmas? 587 00:24:07,350 --> 00:24:09,570 - Well, maybe if someone had invited me, 588 00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:10,790 I'd have time to shop. 589 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,270 Plus, it smells like doo-doo, baby. 590 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,630 - Harry, can I ask you a quick question about the pie? 591 00:24:17,670 --> 00:24:20,060 - The mayor gives cheap gifts. 592 00:24:20,110 --> 00:24:22,150 - Oh, actually he worked pretty hard on that. 593 00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:25,460 - Not cheap. Uh, it happens to be beeswax, 594 00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:27,980 nature's gold. - Isn't gold nature's gold? 595 00:24:28,030 --> 00:24:29,590 - Not to Ben. 596 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,990 - What if it's outside? 597 00:24:31,030 --> 00:24:32,730 Then maybe we should stay here. 598 00:24:32,770 --> 00:24:34,470 And if we're going to stay here, 599 00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:35,950 we should open presents. 600 00:24:35,990 --> 00:24:37,730 - [whispering] Asta! Asta! - Yeah, do not go outside. 601 00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:39,210 - Asta! 602 00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:40,820 - We should stay inside while we can't go outside. 603 00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,300 - Come on! - Come on! 604 00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:46,000 Let's go to the other window. - [whispers] Yeah. 605 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,000 [eerie music] 606 00:24:49,050 --> 00:24:52,790 ♪ 607 00:24:52,830 --> 00:24:54,180 [raccoon chirping] 608 00:24:54,230 --> 00:24:56,190 [normal pitch] Cool, a raccoon! 609 00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:57,840 - [normal pitch] Aw, look at the cute little-- 610 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,360 [raccoon yowls] 611 00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,760 [gory mashing] 612 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,840 What the? 613 00:25:02,890 --> 00:25:04,370 [suspenseful music] 614 00:25:04,410 --> 00:25:05,410 [alien hisses] 615 00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:06,670 [both scream] 616 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,330 [both panting] 617 00:25:08,370 --> 00:25:10,810 Do you know what this means? 618 00:25:10,850 --> 00:25:12,380 - Raccoon bones don't taste good? 619 00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:15,070 - Harry is breeding alien babies. 620 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:17,550 ♪ 621 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,340 - How long do I have to keep everybody here for? 622 00:25:19,380 --> 00:25:21,210 I mean, is it safe outside? 623 00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:24,210 Did the "humalien" thing run away? 624 00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:26,560 - I do not know what the alien will do. 625 00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:28,390 It is a hybrid. 626 00:25:28,430 --> 00:25:31,790 The alien part of it will want to come back when it is hungry. 627 00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,000 It will know there is food here. 628 00:25:33,050 --> 00:25:35,050 - You mean us, right? 629 00:25:35,090 --> 00:25:37,270 - No, of course not. 630 00:25:37,310 --> 00:25:40,800 It will want to eat the egg sack that it was born in. 631 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,410 - Okay. 632 00:25:42,450 --> 00:25:44,190 - Then us. 633 00:25:44,230 --> 00:25:46,240 - Jesus. - I'll go downstairs 634 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:51,070 and look for it, and maybe snack on the sack. 635 00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:53,420 - Ew. - I need something savory. 636 00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:57,120 - You know, about it maybe eating us thing... 637 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,080 you got bullets for those guns? 638 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,340 - They're all loaded. 639 00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:03,560 The real me was redneck-y. 640 00:26:07,780 --> 00:26:09,040 - [sighs] 641 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,350 - Hey Dan. Uh... 642 00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:13,700 I've been carrying around some of Jesse's ashes with me 643 00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:14,960 for a while now, right? 644 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,090 I'm thinkin' maybe it's time to let him go. 645 00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:18,270 You know, spread his ashes. 646 00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,010 - I love that idea. 647 00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:22,790 I think you'll be happier not carrying that weight around. 648 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,230 - Yeah. Well, we used to fish 649 00:26:24,270 --> 00:26:25,930 together a lot. So I thought about 650 00:26:25,970 --> 00:26:27,840 doing it here, on the lake. 651 00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:30,500 You know, maybe we have a little memorial for him. 652 00:26:30,540 --> 00:26:32,240 I'd love for you to be a part of it. 653 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,890 - I'd be honored. Anytime. 654 00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:37,500 - Great! All right, let's go. 655 00:26:37,550 --> 00:26:40,120 - Uh, not now. 656 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,810 - Why not? 657 00:26:41,860 --> 00:26:43,160 - Too windy. 658 00:26:43,210 --> 00:26:45,770 Not good ash-spreading weather. 659 00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:48,120 - Well, you the expert, right? 660 00:26:48,170 --> 00:26:49,560 I'ma get me some food. 661 00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,830 - Hey! Dr. V! 662 00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:01,790 Just, uh, thought I'd say hi. 663 00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:04,140 Wow, great work space. 664 00:27:04,180 --> 00:27:06,750 You, uh, you build birdhouses down here? 665 00:27:06,790 --> 00:27:08,800 You, uh, you're a tinkerer? 666 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:09,800 You like to tinker? 667 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,450 - Yes. 668 00:27:11,490 --> 00:27:13,580 Sometimes it makes me shiver 669 00:27:13,630 --> 00:27:16,150 because of the warm urine leaving my body. 670 00:27:16,190 --> 00:27:17,540 - Oh no, that's, uh... 671 00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,680 Anyway, hey, um, 672 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,290 wanted to talk to you about something. 673 00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:29,160 Unfortunately, Dr. Smallwood has decided to retire, 674 00:27:29,210 --> 00:27:31,650 and we have found ourselves, once again, 675 00:27:31,690 --> 00:27:33,170 without a town doctor. 676 00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:34,910 - [gasps] - And, yes, I can see 677 00:27:34,950 --> 00:27:36,210 by the concern on your face 678 00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:37,650 that you understand what a difficult position 679 00:27:37,690 --> 00:27:38,700 this puts me in. 680 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,220 But you know what's even better? 681 00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,740 - [growls] - Is you... returning 682 00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:44,570 as our town doctor. What do you think? 683 00:27:44,610 --> 00:27:46,660 - I will consider it! [grunts] 684 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:50,190 - Oh! What the heck was that? 685 00:27:50,230 --> 00:27:52,060 - It was an Earth animal. 686 00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:57,020 It's a sick raccoon. - Mm-hmm. 687 00:27:57,060 --> 00:28:00,060 - We should probably go away. 688 00:28:00,110 --> 00:28:01,200 Don't get close to it. 689 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,200 - Yep. Say no more. 690 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,590 That's my cue. - Mm. 691 00:28:04,630 --> 00:28:06,810 - Uh, I'll go warn the others. [cell phone rings] 692 00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:09,730 Uh... hmm? 693 00:28:09,770 --> 00:28:11,550 Hello? 694 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:12,950 Oh, hi. 695 00:28:12,990 --> 00:28:14,910 Really? That's amazing. 696 00:28:14,950 --> 00:28:17,040 ♪ 697 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,040 [indistinct chatter] 698 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:26,310 ♪ 699 00:28:26,350 --> 00:28:28,180 - You know, if those raccoons do have rabies, 700 00:28:28,220 --> 00:28:29,570 we should find them and take them somewhere. 701 00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:31,440 - Shit, I ain't messin' with no damn rabies. 702 00:28:31,490 --> 00:28:33,710 You know 100% of people who have rabies go insane, 703 00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:36,100 but only 20% of insane people have rabies? 704 00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:37,890 That's a Internet fact. 705 00:28:37,930 --> 00:28:39,100 Mmm. 706 00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:40,410 Oh. 707 00:28:40,450 --> 00:28:42,410 This stuff's pretty good. 708 00:28:42,450 --> 00:28:44,070 It's spicier than I remember. 709 00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:45,890 [smacks lips] 710 00:28:45,940 --> 00:28:47,550 It's tangy. 711 00:28:47,590 --> 00:28:48,590 You know? 712 00:28:48,630 --> 00:28:51,590 - I'll have some of that. - Yeah. 713 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,420 - Well, looks like New York's out of the picture. 714 00:28:54,470 --> 00:28:56,600 - What? Why? 715 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,250 - Ben just got a call from some company 716 00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:00,120 that wants to put a resort here. 717 00:29:00,170 --> 00:29:01,740 Says he's gonna be mayor for decades. 718 00:29:01,780 --> 00:29:04,130 - Nobody's putting a resort here. 719 00:29:04,170 --> 00:29:05,300 What are you talking about? 720 00:29:05,350 --> 00:29:06,700 - I don't know. He says he took pictures 721 00:29:06,740 --> 00:29:08,440 of the Grady land to sell them on the idea, 722 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,960 and now they want to do it. 723 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,610 - What? He said he was using 724 00:29:11,660 --> 00:29:13,490 those pictures for the town website. 725 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,100 What? 726 00:29:16,140 --> 00:29:17,320 - Excuse me. 727 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,490 Hey, didn't realize you were still here. 728 00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:24,280 - Yeah, just thought I'd grab something to eat. 729 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,460 - That was like an hour ago. 730 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:28,240 - I guess I've been eating for an hour. 731 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,240 - Huh. - Mm-hmm. 732 00:29:31,290 --> 00:29:32,370 - [mutters] Didn't realize I hired Jughead 733 00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:34,250 to deliver the cake. 734 00:29:34,290 --> 00:29:35,900 Hey, what are you two talking about? 735 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,030 - Oh, I was just catching up with D'arcy 736 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,300 about the pictures that you took for the resort. 737 00:29:40,340 --> 00:29:41,780 - You know, the ones that you lied to me about, 738 00:29:41,820 --> 00:29:43,600 that you said were for the "town website." 739 00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:46,130 - Well, I plan on using those pictures for the town website 740 00:29:46,170 --> 00:29:47,690 as well, so... not a lie. 741 00:29:47,740 --> 00:29:49,430 Hey, uh, should I order more food? 742 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,310 'Cause Jay is going through it like a lawnmower. 743 00:29:51,350 --> 00:29:53,130 - Nope, you totally lied to me. 744 00:29:53,180 --> 00:29:54,530 I mean, Jesus. 745 00:29:54,570 --> 00:29:56,530 We spent the whole day rock climbing, ATVing, 746 00:29:56,570 --> 00:29:57,920 what, so you could just bring in a resort 747 00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,100 and destroy the town? 748 00:29:59,140 --> 00:30:00,620 - Uh, you went rock climbing? 749 00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:02,710 - [stammering] A little bit--small rock. 750 00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:05,410 - So when I got home from my mom's, and I said, you know, 751 00:30:05,450 --> 00:30:07,410 "What have you been doing?" and you said, "Nothing," 752 00:30:07,450 --> 00:30:10,370 was "nothing" rock climbing with D'arcy? 753 00:30:10,410 --> 00:30:11,980 - Uh... you know, I mean, 754 00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:14,900 isn't "nothing" kind of like a catchall expression? 755 00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:16,330 I mean, it really could mean lots of different things. 756 00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:17,850 - No. It means nothing. 757 00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:20,290 You know, what you and D'arcy did, it wasn't nothing. 758 00:30:20,340 --> 00:30:22,380 It was something, and for some reason, 759 00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:24,640 you just didn't tell me about it. 760 00:30:24,690 --> 00:30:25,990 - I just didn't think it was a big deal. 761 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,690 - Oh shit. Uh, look. 762 00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:29,610 [clears throat] I hate to insert myself here, 763 00:30:29,650 --> 00:30:31,610 but it looks like Ben could use a little help, 764 00:30:31,650 --> 00:30:33,520 so just know D'arcy kissed Ben, 765 00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:34,700 not the other way around. 766 00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:37,400 He's a completely innocent bystander. 767 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,480 - You kissed Ben? 768 00:30:39,530 --> 00:30:40,440 - [nervously laughs] 769 00:30:40,490 --> 00:30:42,920 [dramatic music] 770 00:30:47,140 --> 00:30:49,230 - What a fun development. You two kissed... 771 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,670 each other! - I told you to tell her 772 00:30:50,710 --> 00:30:52,060 about the kiss. 773 00:30:52,110 --> 00:30:53,500 - You know, this is on me. 774 00:30:53,540 --> 00:30:56,330 I was drunk and in a really horrible place. 775 00:30:56,370 --> 00:30:57,680 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it. 776 00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,240 It's not Ben's fault. - Well put. 777 00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:00,550 - Well, if it wasn't your fault, 778 00:31:00,590 --> 00:31:01,860 then why wouldn't you just tell me about it? 779 00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:03,200 I mean, then again, why would you? 780 00:31:03,250 --> 00:31:04,990 'Cause I'm only just now hearing about you putting 781 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:06,340 a stupid resort in town. 782 00:31:06,380 --> 00:31:07,730 - What resort? 783 00:31:07,770 --> 00:31:09,120 You can't put a resort in Patience. 784 00:31:09,170 --> 00:31:11,340 - See? I didn't tell anybody. 785 00:31:11,390 --> 00:31:13,910 - Is this the resort you were talking about that Ben wanted? 786 00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:15,260 - Yeah. I think it's a bad idea. 787 00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:16,830 so does my mom. 788 00:31:16,870 --> 00:31:18,090 - I might've told Mike, thought he could keep a secret. 789 00:31:18,130 --> 00:31:19,660 - You can't keep secrets from somebody 790 00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:21,090 who buys your bear claws every morning. 791 00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:23,270 - It took two bear claws to find out about the kiss. 792 00:31:23,310 --> 00:31:25,180 - Why is everyone listening to this? 793 00:31:25,230 --> 00:31:28,010 - 'Cause you're having a public fight, and we have ears. 794 00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:29,010 - I'm not having a fight. 795 00:31:29,060 --> 00:31:30,670 I am explaining to my wife 796 00:31:30,710 --> 00:31:31,710 why I didn't tell her 797 00:31:31,750 --> 00:31:32,670 about hanging out with D'arcy 798 00:31:32,710 --> 00:31:33,710 a couple nights ago. 799 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:34,890 - So you hung out at night too? 800 00:31:34,930 --> 00:31:35,980 - Okay, now it's a fight. 801 00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:37,190 - I'm not fighting. 802 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,980 I don't care if he hangs out with D'arcy. 803 00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,890 They're friends. I--I-- 804 00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:41,810 I just don't know why you wouldn't 805 00:31:41,850 --> 00:31:43,510 just tell me about this. 806 00:31:43,550 --> 00:31:47,600 - After we left the Grady land, D'Arcy came back to the house. 807 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,380 She found some weed that she had hid in Max's closet, 808 00:31:50,430 --> 00:31:51,600 and we smoked it. 809 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,040 - Wait, you hid pot in my son's closet? 810 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,210 - Yeah, but I hid it back in high school 811 00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:56,430 when I was bangin' your husband. 812 00:31:56,470 --> 00:31:57,560 - Ho, ho, ho... 813 00:31:57,610 --> 00:31:59,560 - Thought it was time for a hard joke. 814 00:31:59,610 --> 00:32:00,610 - No. - No. 815 00:32:00,650 --> 00:32:02,050 - Look, this is ridiculous. 816 00:32:02,090 --> 00:32:04,000 Nothing happened. She fell asleep. 817 00:32:04,050 --> 00:32:06,400 I tucked her into Max's bed. End of story. 818 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,880 - Wait, you slept over? 819 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,920 - Ho, ho, it appears the story has a few more chapters. 820 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:10,880 - Wait, you smoked 15-year-old weed? 821 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,010 - I did. It was not good. 822 00:32:13,060 --> 00:32:14,970 - Ben-- - Yes, D'arcy slept over 823 00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:17,060 in Max's bed, and I am telling you now 824 00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:19,370 because I have nothing to hide. 825 00:32:19,410 --> 00:32:21,060 - So where were you when I came home the next morning? 826 00:32:21,110 --> 00:32:22,670 - Ben told me to hide. I snuck out the window. 827 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,070 - I made a gesture. 828 00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,590 You took it to mean hide. 829 00:32:25,630 --> 00:32:27,070 - I also stole one of your kid's candy bars. 830 00:32:27,110 --> 00:32:28,510 I'm sorry. - I can't believe this. 831 00:32:28,550 --> 00:32:30,420 You were hiding in my house? 832 00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:31,860 We hung out after that. 833 00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:34,640 You couldn't just tell me all of this? 834 00:32:34,690 --> 00:32:36,860 This whole thing was fake. 835 00:32:36,910 --> 00:32:38,690 I really thought you were my friend. 836 00:32:38,730 --> 00:32:40,950 - No, I am your friend. 837 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,690 - She apologized for kissing Ben. 838 00:32:42,740 --> 00:32:44,740 - I don't care about that, okay? 839 00:32:44,780 --> 00:32:46,830 It's a stupid kiss. Who cares? 840 00:32:46,870 --> 00:32:49,090 D'arcy was drunk and sad. Big surprise. 841 00:32:49,140 --> 00:32:50,620 - You know, if you didn't freak out so hard 842 00:32:50,660 --> 00:32:52,100 about your husband hanging a sign on the wall, 843 00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:53,230 maybe he'd tell you more shit. 844 00:32:53,270 --> 00:32:54,100 - Oh... 845 00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,970 oh, okay that makes sense. 846 00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:57,800 You're our new interior designer. 847 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,230 Spend your time moving a coffee table across the room with Ben, 848 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,980 because finding a single guy 849 00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:03,540 who's real and available is too scary. 850 00:33:03,590 --> 00:33:04,930 - Well, maybe you should learn to talk to Ben 851 00:33:04,980 --> 00:33:06,110 about your feelings instead of stuffing them 852 00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:07,630 inside a 90-mile vertical treadmill run. 853 00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,980 - So is this what you do? 854 00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,290 You insert your drama into other people's lives 855 00:33:10,330 --> 00:33:11,250 'cause you can't deal with your own? 856 00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:12,420 - No, I'm dealing with mine 857 00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:13,380 just fine, all right? 858 00:33:13,420 --> 00:33:15,250 I'm working out. I'm in shape. 859 00:33:15,290 --> 00:33:17,080 I look great. I quit drinking for... 860 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,950 four hours-- - You lied to me. 861 00:33:19,990 --> 00:33:21,390 You know what? No. 862 00:33:21,430 --> 00:33:23,300 I deserved it, because I have been lying for years. 863 00:33:23,340 --> 00:33:25,130 You wanna know the truth? I hate it here. 864 00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:27,480 I hate Patience. I hate my life, 865 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,570 and I hate that I really thought you were my friend, 866 00:33:30,610 --> 00:33:31,830 and I'm glad that I pissed on your hand 867 00:33:31,870 --> 00:33:33,220 when I took that pregnancy test! 868 00:33:33,270 --> 00:33:34,360 - What? 869 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:35,530 - [sighs] 870 00:33:35,570 --> 00:33:36,620 I'm pregnant. 871 00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:41,410 [party popper bangs] - Congratulations! 872 00:33:44,710 --> 00:33:47,630 - Well, well, well, who's keeping secrets now? 873 00:33:47,670 --> 00:33:49,850 - Um, not really the road 874 00:33:49,890 --> 00:33:51,150 you wanna be drivin' down right now. 875 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,720 - Couldn't agree more. - Okay. 876 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,110 - Can you believe this shit? 877 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,940 She actually thinks I'm afraid 878 00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:58,510 of being with a single man who's real. 879 00:33:58,550 --> 00:33:59,680 That's ridiculous. 880 00:33:59,730 --> 00:34:00,900 - Pretty much dead on. 881 00:34:00,950 --> 00:34:02,770 - You are also really needy. 882 00:34:02,820 --> 00:34:03,950 - [sighs] - Perfect. 883 00:34:03,990 --> 00:34:05,040 Side with the man. 884 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,650 These guys. Am I right, Liv? 885 00:34:06,690 --> 00:34:08,560 I'm not afraid of being in a real relationship. 886 00:34:10,910 --> 00:34:13,350 - What? Oh, coming. 887 00:34:13,390 --> 00:34:16,010 - Uh, oh, hey, hey. Where are you goin'? 888 00:34:16,050 --> 00:34:17,440 - Shit, unless you got another fight planned, 889 00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,050 I'm pretty sure that was the highlight of the night. 890 00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:22,320 - No, no. Um, you can't leave yet... 891 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:27,020 because we still have cake! [giggles] 892 00:34:27,060 --> 00:34:28,410 - Whoo. 893 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:36,630 - I'm sorry. 894 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,160 [dramatic music] 895 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,120 I'm really sorry. [stammers] I... 896 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,560 I should've told you about the D'arcy stuff. 897 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,390 ♪ 898 00:34:48,430 --> 00:34:51,910 I figure you're probably, at this point, well aware, 899 00:34:51,950 --> 00:34:52,960 but um, 900 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,650 you're married to a dipshit. 901 00:34:55,700 --> 00:35:01,220 ♪ 902 00:35:01,270 --> 00:35:03,140 - [sighs] I'm sorry. 903 00:35:03,180 --> 00:35:05,580 I should've told you about the-- 904 00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:06,880 [sighs] you know... 905 00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:08,750 ♪ 906 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,100 - Why didn't you tell me? 907 00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:12,930 - I don't know. I don't know--I... 908 00:35:12,980 --> 00:35:15,150 [sighs] Was... 909 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,810 scared, and we don't really talk anymore. 910 00:35:19,850 --> 00:35:24,770 Anytime anything remotely uncomfortable comes up, 911 00:35:24,810 --> 00:35:26,730 we just--we just have sex 912 00:35:26,770 --> 00:35:28,770 instead of talking about what's really going on. 913 00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:30,340 - Okay, okay. 914 00:35:30,380 --> 00:35:32,600 Let's talk. Right now. 915 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,910 We're gonna have a baby. 916 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,440 - Yeah. 917 00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,660 ♪ 918 00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:43,350 - That's... 919 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,180 a lot. 920 00:35:44,220 --> 00:35:46,620 ♪ 921 00:35:46,660 --> 00:35:47,970 - It's a lot, a lot. 922 00:35:48,010 --> 00:35:53,020 ♪ 923 00:35:57,630 --> 00:36:03,900 all: ♪ Happy birthday, dear Harry ♪ 924 00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:10,290 ♪ Happy birthday to you 925 00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:16,820 - You can go ahead and blow out the candles. 926 00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,480 - No. 927 00:36:19,690 --> 00:36:21,130 I do not like cake. 928 00:36:21,170 --> 00:36:22,180 - Well, if you don't blow out the candles, 929 00:36:22,220 --> 00:36:23,260 your wish won't come true. 930 00:36:23,310 --> 00:36:26,180 - Mm. - I'll help you out, Harry. 931 00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:27,220 - Oh. - Oh. 932 00:36:27,270 --> 00:36:29,230 [distant moaning] 933 00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:31,620 - And someone's having sex in the bathroom. 934 00:36:35,710 --> 00:36:37,060 - Now, do not be concerned. 935 00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:38,150 These old houses... 936 00:36:38,190 --> 00:36:41,410 you can't beat them, but join them! 937 00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:42,630 - Everybody just sit tight, okay? 938 00:36:42,670 --> 00:36:44,370 Nobody leave. Dad, can you help me 939 00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:45,550 go downstairs, check the breaker? 940 00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:46,980 - You bet. 941 00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:48,510 - Raccoons probably chewed through the wires. 942 00:36:48,550 --> 00:36:49,940 - Yeah, you know, I got this call once. 943 00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,990 It was a woodchuck that got into a fuse box. 944 00:36:52,030 --> 00:36:53,730 Fried the poor little guy medium rare. 945 00:36:53,770 --> 00:36:55,300 Do you know what the crazy part is? 946 00:36:55,340 --> 00:36:56,300 You know what it smelled like? 947 00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:58,600 Caesar salad. - Hmm. 948 00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,170 - Mm-hmm. - Delicious. 949 00:37:00,210 --> 00:37:02,170 - Do not worry about the raccoon. 950 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,000 I'm going outside to set a trap. 951 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,180 - Oh, I don't think raccoons eat pies. 952 00:37:07,220 --> 00:37:09,480 - No. Harrys do. 953 00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:10,830 You can have garbage cake. 954 00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:14,580 - Who keeps loaded rifles in their house? 955 00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:17,840 - We're protecting ourselves from an outer space egg baby. 956 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,490 That's the question you're asking, Dad? 957 00:37:20,540 --> 00:37:22,020 - Hey, did you steal fruit? 958 00:37:22,060 --> 00:37:24,850 - Oh, yes, Mr. Biggins, I stole all the apples. 959 00:37:24,890 --> 00:37:26,060 I need to be punished. - How about this? 960 00:37:26,110 --> 00:37:27,810 - [moans] - [whispers] Jesus. 961 00:37:27,850 --> 00:37:28,940 - I swear, Mr. Biggins, 962 00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:30,590 I didn't mean any disrespect. 963 00:37:30,630 --> 00:37:32,510 [moaning] - You in the right business. 964 00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:34,200 [suspenseful music] 965 00:37:34,250 --> 00:37:35,470 - Baby... 966 00:37:35,510 --> 00:37:36,550 ♪ 967 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:40,510 Little baby. Agh! 968 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,210 Baby? 969 00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:43,470 Come here. 970 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,740 ♪ 971 00:37:46,780 --> 00:37:50,350 [faint tinkling sound] 972 00:37:50,390 --> 00:37:56,920 ♪ 973 00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:59,360 [rustling sound] - Whoa. 974 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,750 - [sighs] 975 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,750 What are you doing here? 976 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,190 - We came to warn you about the Men in Black. 977 00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:06,320 They took Dr. Ethan. - What? 978 00:38:06,370 --> 00:38:08,930 - In the spring, Max told them he was the alien. 979 00:38:08,980 --> 00:38:11,070 - Hey, you don't speak for me. 980 00:38:11,110 --> 00:38:12,370 Yeah, what she said is right. 981 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:15,200 - Anyway, once they realize he's a human, 982 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,720 they're gonna come back for Harry. 983 00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:18,550 Plus, there's an alien baby 984 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,550 killing animals outside, just FYI. 985 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,860 - Yup. I know about that. 986 00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:23,690 Um, thank you for telling me. 987 00:38:23,730 --> 00:38:25,170 [whispers] Can you please sneak them home 988 00:38:25,210 --> 00:38:26,730 and make sure they don't get eaten? 989 00:38:26,780 --> 00:38:28,040 - I'll take care of them. 990 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,560 But it looks like you're not gonna have 991 00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:31,090 any lights for a while longer. 992 00:38:31,130 --> 00:38:32,910 - [normal pitch] Okay. What are you guys 993 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,260 even doing here? Don't you have a babysitter? 994 00:38:35,310 --> 00:38:36,920 - It's Ellen. 995 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,010 - Say no more. Okay, get home safe. 996 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,760 - I think this is a really weird party. 997 00:38:49,230 --> 00:38:51,020 - Good cake, though. - Yeah. 998 00:38:51,060 --> 00:38:54,890 Am I a bad person if I like seeing other couples fight? 999 00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:00,420 - You're a horrible person. [both giggle] 1000 00:39:00,460 --> 00:39:02,340 [alien chirruping] 1001 00:39:02,380 --> 00:39:09,390 ♪ 1002 00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:11,560 [low growling noise] 1003 00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:14,780 ♪ 1004 00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:16,390 - Honey? What's wrong? 1005 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,790 - Something happened to me. 1006 00:39:18,830 --> 00:39:20,830 There's alien activity here, 1007 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,830 in Patience. I know it. 1008 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,750 - What are you gonna do? 1009 00:39:24,790 --> 00:39:27,060 - The only thing I can do. 1010 00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:28,930 I'm gonna call the alien tracker 1011 00:39:28,970 --> 00:39:30,410 and tell him to come to Patience 1012 00:39:30,450 --> 00:39:32,320 and find himself an alien. 1013 00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:33,980 - Sorry about that, guys! 1014 00:39:34,020 --> 00:39:35,980 Raccoon definitely knocked out the power. 1015 00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,810 Um, until we figure this out, 1016 00:39:37,850 --> 00:39:39,240 I think we should just stay put. 1017 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,770 - Better call D'arcy. She just left. 1018 00:39:41,810 --> 00:39:43,510 - [whispers] Ugh, damn it. 1019 00:39:43,550 --> 00:39:46,510 [dramatic music] 1020 00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:49,510 ♪ 1021 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,730 [normal pitch] Hey! 1022 00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:52,990 - Hey. - Oh. 1023 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,430 - Nice rifle. - [sighs] 1024 00:39:54,470 --> 00:39:56,350 - You headed out to scare up some vittles? 1025 00:39:56,390 --> 00:39:57,520 - Didn't you hear? 1026 00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,650 There's a rabid raccoon on the loose. 1027 00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:02,310 - Good. Maybe it'll bite me. 1028 00:40:02,350 --> 00:40:04,350 If I start foaming at the mouth, don't shoot me. 1029 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:05,490 Just... 1030 00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:07,140 let me suffer. 1031 00:40:07,180 --> 00:40:09,230 - Don't listen to anything she says. 1032 00:40:09,270 --> 00:40:10,400 It's not true. 1033 00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:13,970 - Yeah it is, though. 1034 00:40:15,970 --> 00:40:17,630 - Do you know what my very first thought was 1035 00:40:17,670 --> 00:40:20,460 when I met Elliot? - Nice ass? 1036 00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:22,810 - Yes. - Yeah. 1037 00:40:22,850 --> 00:40:24,330 - Do you know what my second thought was? 1038 00:40:27,290 --> 00:40:29,380 "How long till I mess this up?" 1039 00:40:29,420 --> 00:40:31,860 ♪ 1040 00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:34,210 What the shit is wrong with me? 1041 00:40:34,250 --> 00:40:35,520 ♪ 1042 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,520 - Okay. 1043 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,560 So un-mess it. 1044 00:40:39,610 --> 00:40:41,650 Call him. - Yeah, right. 1045 00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:43,310 - Call him now. 1046 00:40:43,350 --> 00:40:44,310 I have a gun. 1047 00:40:44,350 --> 00:40:46,260 ♪ 1048 00:40:46,310 --> 00:40:48,050 - [groans] I'm not calling him. 1049 00:40:48,090 --> 00:40:49,050 - Okay, I'll do it. - No. 1050 00:40:49,090 --> 00:40:50,660 - Yeah. - No, no, no, no. 1051 00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:51,920 - No, no, I'll just do it. - You won't do that, 'cause no, 1052 00:40:51,970 --> 00:40:53,050 I'll text him. - I'll call-- 1053 00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:54,800 - Okay, I'll text him! I'll text him. 1054 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,150 ♪ 1055 00:40:57,190 --> 00:40:57,930 [sighs] 1056 00:40:57,970 --> 00:40:59,840 ♪ 1057 00:40:59,890 --> 00:41:01,540 What do I even say? 1058 00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,890 - Uh, how about "Hi?" 1059 00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:06,940 - That's kind of brilliant. - Yeah. 1060 00:41:06,980 --> 00:41:08,900 [cell phone keyboard clicking] 1061 00:41:08,940 --> 00:41:11,030 - Okay, it's sent. 1062 00:41:11,070 --> 00:41:12,330 Ugh! Now I just have to be 1063 00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:13,810 nauseous for two weeks waiting to see if he-- 1064 00:41:13,860 --> 00:41:14,770 [cell phone buzzes] Oh, my God. 1065 00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:18,040 - [laughs] Hey! Hi. 1066 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,170 - You're a goddamn genius. 1067 00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:20,730 - [laughs] 1068 00:41:20,780 --> 00:41:21,740 Hi. - Hi. 1069 00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:22,740 It's simple. It works. 1070 00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:23,820 - Yes. - Hi. 1071 00:41:23,870 --> 00:41:24,830 - Okay, are you gonna write back? 1072 00:41:24,870 --> 00:41:26,740 - No. I mean, in a couple days. 1073 00:41:26,780 --> 00:41:28,440 What am I, desperate? 1074 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,400 - Baby, this is for you. 1075 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,660 [sniffs] Mmm. 1076 00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:36,530 Mmm. 1077 00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:37,660 Come and get it! 1078 00:41:37,710 --> 00:41:40,620 [suspenseful music] 1079 00:41:40,670 --> 00:41:42,450 - [clicking] 1080 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:44,240 - Oh. 1081 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,280 Oh. 1082 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,110 ♪ 1083 00:41:48,150 --> 00:41:51,290 [whimsical music] 1084 00:41:51,330 --> 00:41:54,160 ♪ 1085 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,730 - [squeals] - [grunts] 1086 00:41:55,770 --> 00:41:56,860 - [yowls] 1087 00:41:56,900 --> 00:41:57,900 ♪ 1088 00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:01,560 [electricity crackles] 1089 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:02,820 - [sighs] 1090 00:42:05,390 --> 00:42:06,820 - Hello, Harry. 1091 00:42:06,870 --> 00:42:08,390 I'm Goliath. 1092 00:42:08,430 --> 00:42:09,570 - Goliath. 1093 00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:14,480 Why are you inside a hybrid alien baby? 1094 00:42:14,530 --> 00:42:16,750 - Clever, right? 1095 00:42:16,790 --> 00:42:18,970 I needed to send you a message, 1096 00:42:19,010 --> 00:42:22,230 and this is a big one. 1097 00:42:22,270 --> 00:42:24,320 First, you need to know that our people are not coming 1098 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,670 to kill everyone. - Why are they not coming? 1099 00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:28,320 - Because it's too dangerous. 1100 00:42:28,370 --> 00:42:29,930 There's an alien race that's planning 1101 00:42:29,980 --> 00:42:32,070 to take over the Earth. They're here, Harry. 1102 00:42:32,110 --> 00:42:33,720 - What alien race? 1103 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,640 - You must be careful. They are-- 1104 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:36,720 [gunshot] - [squeals] 1105 00:42:36,770 --> 00:42:38,330 - Wha-- 1106 00:42:38,380 --> 00:42:39,640 Ah. 1107 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:45,600 ♪ 1108 00:42:45,650 --> 00:42:46,650 No... 1109 00:42:46,690 --> 00:42:48,910 ♪ 1110 00:42:48,950 --> 00:42:52,040 - You should've just stayed in Colorado and done your job. 1111 00:42:52,090 --> 00:42:53,700 - You shot me. 1112 00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:56,610 - Yeah, like you shot two of my guys in New York. 1113 00:42:56,660 --> 00:43:00,570 I should have never made you kill Sam Hodges. 1114 00:43:00,620 --> 00:43:02,360 I should have just taken care of it myself. 1115 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,310 [gun cocks] 1116 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,060 [gunshot] 1117 00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:10,670 ♪ 1118 00:43:10,710 --> 00:43:12,060 - Asta. 1119 00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:19,240 ♪ 1120 00:43:19,290 --> 00:43:22,070 [Belle and Sebastian's "The Boy With the Arab Strap"] 1121 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:28,340 ♪ 1122 00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:30,250 - Holy shit. 1123 00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,690 - [panting] Harry... 1124 00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:37,090 - ♪ A mile and a half on a bus takes a long time ♪ 1125 00:43:37,130 --> 00:43:38,650 ♪ The odor of old prison food ♪ 1126 00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:41,880 ♪ Takes a long time to pass you by ♪ 1127 00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:46,660 ♪ 1128 00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:50,410 ♪ Day upon day, this wandering gets you down ♪ 1129 00:43:50,450 --> 00:43:53,360 ♪ Nobody gives you a chance or a dollar ♪ 1130 00:43:53,410 --> 00:43:55,580 ♪ In this old town 1131 00:43:55,630 --> 00:44:00,590 ♪ 1132 00:44:00,630 --> 00:44:03,680 ♪ Hovering silence from you is a giveaway ♪ 1133 00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:05,680 ♪ Squalor and smoke's not your style ♪ 77867

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.