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1
00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:03,960
- Previously
on "Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,350
- This city is an assault
on my senses.
3
00:00:05,390 --> 00:00:06,310
[screams]
- Who the hell is
4
00:00:06,350 --> 00:00:07,570
Galvan/Powell Group?
5
00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:09,400
- You have no idea
who you are dealing with.
6
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,010
- Constellation Ursa Major.
7
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,050
That is where
we will find Goliath.
8
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,180
- People already think
Patience is a murder town.
9
00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:17,660
You want them to think
it's an alien town too?
10
00:00:17,710 --> 00:00:19,880
- Jessup is trying to build
a five-star resort.
11
00:00:19,930 --> 00:00:21,230
Who says it's gotta be Jessup?
12
00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,110
That Grady property
up on the ridge
13
00:00:23,150 --> 00:00:24,720
is beggin' to be developed.
14
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,330
- I think you're pregnant.
15
00:00:26,370 --> 00:00:27,810
When you're ready,
it'll be there.
16
00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:29,500
- Dr. Smallwood--
- He's trying to fire you.
17
00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:31,290
- And now we
officially have no doctor.
18
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,120
- Dr. Vanderspeigle
is our only real candidate.
19
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:35,290
- He has a birthday comin' up.
20
00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:37,470
- The alien we went to see
was dead.
21
00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:39,510
- Goliath held out
for as long as he could.
22
00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,910
- But he gave birth to an egg.
- No!
23
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,170
- And now it's in Harry's bag.
24
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,080
Do you even know
when it will hatch?
25
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,130
all: Surprise!
26
00:00:46,170 --> 00:00:49,040
[suspenseful music]
27
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:56,180
♪
28
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,200
- So where is this alien ball,
29
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,030
and how do I know that video
wasn't a fake?
30
00:01:17,070 --> 00:01:18,550
- You're gonna
have to trust me.
31
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,820
- Last time I saw you,
I was going to have you killed.
32
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:24,820
Seems like trusting you
is moving backwards.
33
00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:26,730
♪
34
00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:28,690
I want to see it.
35
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:35,660
♪
36
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:43,230
What do you want?
37
00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:48,320
- I give you the ball,
I get my life back--
38
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,410
honorable discharge,
full pension.
39
00:01:51,450 --> 00:01:53,150
Nobody trying to--
[gunshot]
40
00:01:53,200 --> 00:02:00,330
♪
41
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:11,950
[Brown Bird's
"Bilgewater" plays]
42
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:18,960
♪
43
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,570
- Get out of my house!
44
00:02:20,610 --> 00:02:23,530
- Happy Birthday,
Dr. Vanderspeigle.
45
00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:25,360
Glad to have you
back in Patience.
46
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,620
- Wow, Harry.
It's a surprise party.
47
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:29,750
- That's right.
Honoring the birthday
48
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,230
of one of our town's
most esteemed residents,
49
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,540
Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle.
50
00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:35,800
- Here's to another trip
around the Sun, Dr. V.
51
00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,670
By the way, the break and enter
was Ben's idea.
52
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,290
- Ah, now, now.
No breaking, just entering.
53
00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:41,550
The door was unlocked.
54
00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:42,810
- Yeah, after you climbed
through the window
55
00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:44,030
and unlocked it.
56
00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:46,160
- Out of respect
for our wonderful friend--
57
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,160
nay, our partner, really--
58
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:51,040
who deserves to be celebrated
for, if nothing else,
59
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,340
his kindness.
60
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,560
- You are all trespassing
and should be in prison.
61
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,740
[laughter]
62
00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:58,300
- He's jokin'.
- No he's not.
63
00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,780
- Thanks for the heads-up.
64
00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:01,310
- I wasn't invited.
I'm just hungry.
65
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:02,480
- Here,
let me grab this for you.
66
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,000
- No!
I can put that away!
67
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:05,180
- Ah, no way.
68
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:06,700
No worrying
about luggage for you.
69
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,840
- Whoa, close call there.
[chuckles]
70
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,140
All right, let's get
the festivities started.
71
00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:15,490
- I do not like having people
at my house uninvited.
72
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,630
- Well, now you know how Earth
felt when you got here.
73
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,370
Okay, I'll get rid of everyone.
74
00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:22,020
Just take that thing
downstairs.
75
00:03:22,070 --> 00:03:24,240
- Only half of it is "thing."
76
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,030
The other half is alien.
77
00:03:26,070 --> 00:03:29,030
[dramatic music]
78
00:03:29,070 --> 00:03:30,550
- Sure.
79
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,950
- Oh, Dr. Vanderspeigle,
how was your trip?
80
00:03:32,990 --> 00:03:35,080
I heard you went to a medical
conference in New York.
81
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,520
- Yes, I went to an art party,
82
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,480
and took illegal drugs.
- [laughs]
83
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,260
You know,
I went to an art party once.
84
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,700
Well, it wasn't an art party.
85
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:44,920
It was--I guess
you could call that art--
86
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,260
- Do you have a pet spider?
87
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,010
Because it's in your hair.
- What?
88
00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:49,010
- Yeah.
- [screams]
89
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,960
- Oh.
- No, no, no.
90
00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:52,310
No. No.
- Yes.
91
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,320
- Where is it?
92
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,190
- It is gone now.
93
00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:57,100
- What?
[door clicks shut]
94
00:03:57,140 --> 00:03:59,760
[panting]
Mm-mm. Nope.
95
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:06,150
♪
96
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,290
- So when you gonna ask Dr. V
97
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,330
to be the town doctor, Ben?
98
00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:11,720
- I don't know
what you're talking about.
99
00:04:11,770 --> 00:04:13,380
- Come on, man.
This is what this is all about.
100
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:14,810
You're wooing him.
Look.
101
00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:16,990
Word of advice: get him drunk
before you ask him.
102
00:04:17,030 --> 00:04:18,380
It'll help smooth the woo.
103
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:19,950
- I'm just showing
appreciation.
104
00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,820
There's--there's no woo.
105
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,260
- Hey, Ben.
106
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,740
Thanks
for pulling all this together.
107
00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:28,480
Um, Harry's not
really feeling very well,
108
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,130
so maybe we could
do this another night.
109
00:04:30,180 --> 00:04:31,830
- Ah, can't.
110
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,700
It's a special night for Harry,
and if he's not feeling well,
111
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,230
then by golly, we will
nurse him back to health
112
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,230
together as a town.
113
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:39,320
We're stayin'.
114
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,450
- [sniffs]
Woo...
115
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,230
♪
116
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:44,670
- Ben, that's very--
- Excuse me.
117
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,020
- Kay.
An alien baby kills you,
118
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,940
it's not my fault.
119
00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,900
♪
120
00:04:52,940 --> 00:04:55,940
- I do not understand why
humans celebrate their births.
121
00:04:55,990 --> 00:04:58,510
Everyone who is alive
has been born.
122
00:04:58,550 --> 00:05:00,120
It is not special.
123
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,340
A birthday party is
just a participation trophy.
124
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,520
[sighs]
125
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,960
- It's my grandmother's
secret deviled egg recipe.
126
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,740
I snuck into her desk
and stole it when I was ten.
127
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,350
She's hated me ever since.
128
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,750
- Mmm.
Well, these are insane.
129
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:18,700
I mean, it's horrible to lose
your grandmother, but worth it.
130
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,050
- Last Christmas, she said
she hopes she dies soon
131
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,230
so she can haunt me
and steal my soul.
132
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,060
She holds a grudge.
133
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:29,370
- Mm, not for me.
I'm not a fan of yolk mixtures
134
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:32,150
or having my soul taken
by an angry ghost.
135
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,280
- Just try one.
136
00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:35,240
- I would, but I said no.
137
00:05:35,290 --> 00:05:39,160
- ♪ Know that I'll be coming
right back ♪
138
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,640
♪ Tomorrow's dream
139
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,420
- Fine, yeah.
I'll, uh, have a bite.
140
00:05:42,470 --> 00:05:47,600
♪
141
00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:49,740
Oh, my God.
Mmm.
142
00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:52,350
It's a delicate farm
in my mouth.
143
00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,310
Mmm.
- No.
144
00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:55,870
You doubted them.
- I didn't doubt it.
145
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,130
- You don't deserve
a second one.
146
00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,700
- No, I do.
- The second one
147
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,050
is even better somehow.
148
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,750
It's like I can taste
the farmer's wife
149
00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:03,310
calling her family
in for supper, like...
150
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,190
[inhales]
Mmm.
151
00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:07,410
"Comin', Mama."
152
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,970
Mmm.
153
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,670
"I'm comin'."
154
00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:13,630
- But I wanna taste
farm supper...
155
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,110
- What did you do with it?
- It is in the bunker.
156
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,330
It is safe.
157
00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:20,850
- Glad the alien
in the cellar is safe.
158
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,420
Harry,
what if it hatches down there?
159
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:28,030
- Mm, alien babies
have a big appetite
160
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:32,080
for high-calorie junky food.
- Uh-huh.
161
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:35,390
- There's nothing more junky
than a human.
162
00:06:35,430 --> 00:06:37,610
We are in danger.
163
00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:38,870
- We have to get
everyone out of here.
164
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,480
- [groans]
- Make yourself look sick.
165
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,530
Oh, that's good.
166
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,440
Yes.
Good.
167
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,440
- I have not done anything yet.
168
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:46,840
- Oh.
169
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,790
Sorry.
170
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,410
It's good, though.
- [growls]
171
00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:54,230
- Oh, there he is!
172
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,890
all: ♪ For he's
a jolly good fellow ♪
173
00:06:57,930 --> 00:07:00,890
♪ For he's
a jolly good fellow ♪
174
00:07:00,940 --> 00:07:05,120
♪ For he's
a jolly good fellow ♪
175
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,250
♪ Which nobody can deny
176
00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:08,550
- All right.
177
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,900
- You think I am a good fellow?
178
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:11,820
- And jolly.
179
00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:13,730
And so sick... sick.
- Mm.
180
00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:17,210
- Sick... of being alone,
maybe.
181
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:18,350
It's your birthday.
182
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,650
It is your special day.
183
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,480
All this is for you.
184
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,650
Plus, cake.
185
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,920
If, uh,
Jay ever shows up with it.
186
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:25,880
- Can it be pie?
187
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,920
- No.
- Pie it is.
188
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,880
- I feel better!
You can stay.
189
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,660
- You sure, Doc?
You still look kind of pale.
190
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:33,930
- It is my Dutch skin.
191
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:36,760
- You hear that everyone?
Our good cheer has cured him.
192
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,500
I'm gonna get that pie for you.
- Mm-hmm.
193
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:39,890
- Great.
I have enough eggs to last
194
00:07:39,930 --> 00:07:41,760
all night,
but we may need more ice,
195
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,630
because if they don't stay
chilled, they go south fast.
196
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,550
- I got you, Deputy.
You got ice down
197
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,500
in that meat freezer
of yours, right?
198
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,680
- Do not go down there.
199
00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,160
The floor's cracked,
and if you step on it,
200
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,990
you'll break your mama's back.
Here.
201
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,130
- What'd he say about my mama?
- [sighs]
202
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,520
- Today is all
about celebrating
203
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,440
the birth
of a man I murdered
204
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,530
and threw in the frozen lake.
205
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:10,920
Ice seems appropriate.
[sniffs]
206
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,400
Sulfur.
207
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,490
[suspenseful music]
208
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:22,630
♪
209
00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:24,980
Hello?
210
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:26,890
♪
211
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:27,940
Oh...
212
00:08:33,290 --> 00:08:34,380
- [sighs]
213
00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:37,120
- Hmm.
- Wow, soda.
214
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,250
You handling
heavy machinery later?
215
00:08:39,300 --> 00:08:40,690
- Right, you were out of town.
We haven't talked.
216
00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:42,300
I stopped drinking.
217
00:08:42,340 --> 00:08:43,390
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:44,870
- Since when?
- 1:00.
219
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,560
- Last night?
- This afternoon.
220
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,260
You gotta start somewhere.
- [chuckles]
221
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:49,310
- You know,
been eating healthy...
222
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:50,610
getting back in shape.
223
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,610
Oh! I even started
going to the gym again.
224
00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,790
- Wow, I love that.
225
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,010
- Feels pretty good.
226
00:08:55,050 --> 00:08:56,400
- [clears throat]
- Hey,
227
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,230
still waiting on
a invite to come here tonight.
228
00:08:59,270 --> 00:09:01,410
Email not a thing anymore?
229
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,020
- [whispers]
Open wide.
230
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:04,100
- Hey hun.
- Hey.
231
00:09:04,150 --> 00:09:05,410
- You, uh, having fun?
232
00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:07,240
- Yeah.
Um, are they gonna do
233
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,150
anything about
that sulfur smell?
234
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,550
[whispers] I'm gonna barf.
235
00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:13,720
- I don't smell anything.
[chuckles]
236
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,550
Hey, uh, remember
when you were pregnant,
237
00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:17,990
and you had that sense
of smell like a superhero?
238
00:09:18,030 --> 00:09:19,950
Hope you're not pregnant.
[chuckles]
239
00:09:19,990 --> 00:09:21,770
Could you imagine?
- [laughs]
240
00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:23,170
Yeah, right?
241
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:24,340
- [smacks lips]
Mmm, I'm gonna get
242
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:25,820
some sweet gherkins.
You want anything?
243
00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:27,130
- Oh, sure don't.
244
00:09:28,820 --> 00:09:30,780
Sure don't.
245
00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:31,960
- This is a problem.
246
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,440
Even at birth, my alien kind
247
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,350
is very strong and agile.
248
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,830
That thing
could be anywhere by now.
249
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,450
If it were a fully human baby,
it would be much easier.
250
00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:44,140
Human infants are the only
mammal whose main attribute
251
00:09:44,190 --> 00:09:45,490
is helplessly flopping.
252
00:09:45,540 --> 00:09:46,840
[metal clanking]
253
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,450
- Need some help
with that ice down there, Doc?
254
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,500
- No.
255
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:52,540
I am good at ice-carrying.
256
00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:53,720
[metal clanks]
257
00:10:03,550 --> 00:10:04,860
- You sure?
I'll come down and help.
258
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,340
- No, no!
259
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,470
I want to carry it myself.
260
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,740
Ice feels good on my nipples.
261
00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:15,700
- Thanks, Doc.
Damn, you smell like sulfur.
262
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,610
What, you have
an outhouse party down there?
263
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,610
- No.
264
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,400
It is not sulfur.
[chuckles]
265
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,140
What are you, crazy?
266
00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:25,360
It is the deputy's eggs.
They are stinky.
267
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,660
- Well, that makes sense.
268
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:28,490
Yeah, those things
are delicious but deadly.
269
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,670
You gotta stop at two,
or it's like eating a butt gun.
270
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:34,800
- I would not fire a gun
made out of butts.
271
00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:40,850
- The mayonnaise is homemade,
and I mix the yolks by hand.
272
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:42,330
- Mm.
- And I don't use
273
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,860
canola oil like most people.
274
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,160
The key is olive oil.
275
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,210
It really brings out
the eggy flavor.
276
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:51,380
- Mm.
Yum.
277
00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:52,430
Just... excuse me.
- Okay.
278
00:10:52,470 --> 00:10:55,170
- Just one second.
- Okay.
279
00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:59,260
♪
280
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,000
- [coughs]
281
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:03,920
[sighs]
282
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,700
[sighs]
283
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,750
[soft music]
284
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:09,930
♪ And I'm sorry
for all I've taken ♪
285
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,060
♪ And I'm sorry
for all I've let loose ♪
286
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,190
♪
287
00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:18,890
♪ I wanna be true
288
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:22,720
♪ I wanna be forgiven
289
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,290
♪
290
00:11:24,330 --> 00:11:28,250
♪ For givin' up
291
00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:31,950
♪ On everything I knew
292
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:34,040
♪
293
00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,860
♪ I wanna be true
294
00:11:35,910 --> 00:11:37,780
- I'm serious.
If you're wearing nurse scrubs
295
00:11:37,820 --> 00:11:39,610
and you're running,
stores will pretty much
296
00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:42,960
let you take anything for free.
Uh-huh.
297
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,480
Yeah.
Of course.
298
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,700
No, sorry, anything.
299
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,660
- Okay, so I marked
all the military installations
300
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,660
where they could be holding
the alien ball.
301
00:11:52,710 --> 00:11:55,670
I circled the underground ones
nobody knows about.
302
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,450
- Ben's throwing a surprise
birthday party for Dr. V.,
303
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,930
but he's just doing that
to trick him
304
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,760
into being town doctor again.
305
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,630
It's this big secret.
306
00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:06,240
Yeah.
I told everyone.
307
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,030
- Town doctor?
308
00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:09,550
What happened to Dr. Ethan?
309
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,680
- He left town the night
the Men in Black were here.
310
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,080
- You mean the night
you told the Men in Black
311
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,340
Dr. Ethan was the alien?
312
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:15,560
- Yeah, that night.
313
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,510
Guess Dr. Ethan
just didn't like it here.
314
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,520
- Is your brain in your butt?
- I hope not.
315
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,650
- Don't you realize
what happened?
316
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,780
The Men in Black
took Dr. Ethan.
317
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,790
As soon as
they figure out he's human,
318
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,700
they'll know the alien
is still in Patience
319
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,360
and come back looking for him.
320
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,790
We have to go
to that party and warn Asta.
321
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,360
- How?
We have a babysitter.
322
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,060
- We'll get her to fall asleep.
323
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,630
I know what to do.
324
00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:45,930
Same way my Aunt Azadeh
conks out when she visits.
325
00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:49,370
- Sleeping pills?
- No...
326
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:52,380
calm-voiced nature videos.
327
00:12:52,420 --> 00:12:54,550
[suspicious music]
328
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:55,940
- What you gonna do
with all them pickles?
329
00:12:55,990 --> 00:12:57,420
- Uh, those are not pickles.
330
00:12:57,470 --> 00:12:58,820
Those are sweet gherkins,
331
00:12:58,860 --> 00:13:00,210
or, uh, cornichons.
332
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:02,690
- Did you just correct me
on how to say a pickle?
333
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:05,950
- No.
I'm just sayin'.
334
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,780
- I'm gonna get some punch.
335
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,830
Hey, how's the punch?
- It fell.
336
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,830
- What?
337
00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:13,790
- What?
338
00:13:17,050 --> 00:13:18,840
- What?
339
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:19,790
- What?
340
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,060
Oh, no.
- Huh?
341
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,540
I didn't--
342
00:13:32,590 --> 00:13:35,590
[dramatic music]
343
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,420
- It's pretty, huh?
344
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,950
- Yeah, it's amazing.
345
00:13:40,990 --> 00:13:42,160
I used to spend
a lot of time here
346
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:43,340
when you were dating Harry.
347
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,730
- Oh, yeah.
I wouldn't call it dating.
348
00:13:45,780 --> 00:13:47,560
It was really more
of a drive-by. [chuckles]
349
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,300
So any exciting news?
350
00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:53,650
- No,
I haven't taken the test yet.
351
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,960
If I take the test
and it's positive,
352
00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,880
then I'm pregnant.
353
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,840
- Yeah,
that's not how it works.
354
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,840
♪
355
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,840
- You know, I was just talking
to Harry about New York.
356
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,890
All I could think about
was how exciting it would be
357
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,760
to live there, you know?
358
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,590
The art shows,
the theatre, all of it.
359
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,900
Why can't that be my life?
360
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:20,290
- I don't know.
Why can't it?
361
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:22,250
- Because I'm stuck here,
362
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:23,810
pushing out babies
like a stray dog.
363
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,990
Ugh...
the ones with all the nipples?
364
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,910
- So many nipples.
- Huge, huge nipples.
365
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:31,870
You adopt one, it turns over.
Nipple.
366
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:34,870
- [sighs]
367
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:38,870
♪
368
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,480
- Come on.
369
00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:42,140
Let's go pee on a stick.
370
00:14:42,180 --> 00:14:43,440
Hold your breath.
371
00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:44,750
Liv just brought out
a new tray of eggs.
372
00:14:47,790 --> 00:14:48,970
- Ugh.
373
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:51,620
- The size
of the bull elk's antlers
374
00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:55,320
depends on how much
sunlight the elk gets.
375
00:14:55,370 --> 00:15:01,200
Here, this elk basks in the
warm rays of the midday sun.
376
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,680
A full-sized male's antlers
can grow up to an inch per day
377
00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,340
during the summer months.
378
00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:10,340
They're typically fully grown
by mid-August.
379
00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,430
If he is able to--
380
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,520
- Hey!
381
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,650
Where are you going?
382
00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:15,950
- Bike ride?
- Taking out the garbage!
383
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,910
- Just come home
before your parents get back.
384
00:15:19,390 --> 00:15:21,520
No drugs!
385
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:24,570
- She's a horrible babysitter.
- Yeah.
386
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,450
[ominous music]
387
00:15:33,490 --> 00:15:38,320
♪
388
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:39,500
- Ooh...
389
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,980
[sizzling]
390
00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:48,160
♪
391
00:15:50,070 --> 00:15:51,210
What the hell?
392
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,210
Hmm.
393
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,300
- Harry?
- No, just me.
394
00:16:01,350 --> 00:16:03,220
Just me in here peein'.
- Sorry.
395
00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,700
- God, I can't hold the stick.
My hand's shaking too much.
396
00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:07,920
- Okay, give it to me.
397
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:08,880
I'll hold it.
I'll hold it.
398
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,010
- You sure?
- Yeah.
399
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,570
Okay, it's in position.
Go.
400
00:16:13,050 --> 00:16:14,880
And you just pissed
on my hand.
401
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:22,020
♪
402
00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:25,020
[knocking]
403
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,630
- There you are.
What are you doing?
404
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,680
- I am enjoying
my birthday candy.
405
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,250
- Have you checked on the egg?
406
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:37,730
'Cause if there's any chance
that it will hatch,
407
00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:39,560
we have to get everyone
out of this party right now.
408
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,130
- The party cannot end.
There is pie coming.
409
00:16:42,170 --> 00:16:44,090
Do not worry.
The baby will not hatch.
410
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:48,000
It is definitely
still inside of its shell.
411
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,570
[quirky music]
412
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,920
Nowhere else!
413
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,570
- Okay.
It's still a party, though,
414
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:55,050
so you can't just hide
in the bedroom,
415
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:57,710
or people will be suspicious.
- Mm.
416
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:58,930
- Come talk to someone,
417
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,140
and don't be weird.
418
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,710
[whispers]
And here we go.
419
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,200
- I will talk to Dan
because he has food.
420
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,290
And that is not weird.
421
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,680
Hi, Dan.
422
00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:19,160
Here is some money for my meal,
423
00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:23,860
and I'll also take
a side of fries at the table.
424
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,820
[radio music playing]
425
00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:33,130
♪
426
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:39,100
- Really sorry about that.
427
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,880
- Oh, don't worry.
428
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,800
I've been peed on before.
429
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,100
- I have too.
430
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,800
I kind of like it.
431
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,500
- I was talking about a frog
I picked up when I was a kid.
432
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:49,630
- Yeah, frogs.
433
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:50,590
Me too.
434
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,420
[device chimes]
- Oh.
435
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:54,370
Time's up.
436
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,510
- Shit.
437
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,990
[sighs]
438
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,560
- [weakly] Congratulations.
439
00:18:10,610 --> 00:18:12,300
You gonna tell Ben
the good news?
440
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,000
- Not until I'm convinced
it's good news.
441
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,960
[dramatic music]
442
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,660
- Why?
If you get overwhelmed,
443
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:21,270
just think back on a time
when life was simple,
444
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:22,660
and you were just a woman
445
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,010
pissin' on another woman.
446
00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:25,750
- [laughs]
447
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,450
- You got this, Hawthorne.
448
00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:29,060
- [laughs]
449
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,930
[Logan Staats'
"Vampires" plays]
450
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,320
- ♪ Please darlin'
451
00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:37,460
♪ Take mercy on my
broken heart, yeah ♪
452
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:40,110
♪ And take my soul if
you want what's left of it ♪
453
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,330
- You're not gonna believe it.
454
00:18:41,380 --> 00:18:44,510
Eugena Plunkett came in,
saying she saw a UFO
455
00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:47,430
a couple
of months ago in Patience.
456
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:50,520
Can you imagine?
- That seems... crazy.
457
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,300
- Remember that camping trip
when we were kids,
458
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,910
like when Ben saw something,
and he ran, and everyone
459
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,350
followed him,
and I stayed back by the fire?
460
00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:00,700
- Yeah, I think so.
461
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,830
But he didn't see anything,
right?
462
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,270
- No.
- No.
463
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:08,050
Yeah.
No.
464
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,190
- But I did.
465
00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:11,970
- Really?
466
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,150
What?
467
00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:16,670
- A UFO.
468
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:20,280
A real-life UFO.
469
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,370
Don't you wanna believe...
470
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,290
that we're not alone,
471
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,990
like, that there's something
bigger than us out there?
472
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:30,860
- Sure.
Um, but not in Patience.
473
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:32,690
I mean, we just barely
got a pizza place.
474
00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:35,130
I am sure
there are not aliens here.
475
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:38,390
- You're probably right.
476
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:42,220
It's just fun
to think about sometimes.
477
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:43,390
- Hello.
- Hello.
478
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,530
- Jay's here.
Okay.
479
00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:48,830
Pretend like you're talking
to me, would you?
480
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,100
- I am talking to you.
481
00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:51,450
- Right.
Oh God.
482
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:54,230
I'm so--I just get so nervous
when she's around.
483
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,580
I mean, I've been
giving her space, you know?
484
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,710
But I'm--it just
feels like it's been forever,
485
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,190
and her 18th birthday
is in two days.
486
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,240
Am I talking fast?
- Mm-hmm.
487
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,150
- Talking fast.
She's driving now.
488
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,070
- Yeah,
she's our best customer.
489
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:07,160
We've given her,
like, six tickets.
490
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,120
- Oh.
I'm so sorry.
491
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,340
- Mm-mm.
Breathe.
492
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:13,340
- [sighs]
Okay.
493
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,560
- Yeah.
- [whispers] She's coming.
494
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,300
- She's on her way.
- Don't pass out.
495
00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:21,040
- Hi.
- Hey, how are you?
496
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,130
How are you?
497
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:23,480
- I'm good.
498
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:28,310
Um, so my birthday's coming up,
which you know.
499
00:20:28,350 --> 00:20:30,700
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was there.
500
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,310
[both laugh]
501
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:36,140
- Yeah, so... look, I was
wondering if you might want
502
00:20:36,190 --> 00:20:38,100
to do something that day.
503
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:40,230
Just, um--
just you and me.
504
00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:44,240
- Really?
- Yeah, you know...
505
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,540
just, like, lunch or something.
506
00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,630
It's no big deal.
Just hang out.
507
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,980
- Uh...
508
00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:51,900
I would love that.
509
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,290
- Okay.
Um, great.
510
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,030
Pick me up
at the diner at 1:00?
511
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,250
Maybe we can check out
that new Mexican place?
512
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:00,780
- I can't wait.
513
00:21:00,820 --> 00:21:04,390
- Okay.
Um, I'm gonna go...
514
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,740
I'm gonna go eat
as much food as I can
515
00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:07,870
before Mr. Hawthorne
kicks me out.
516
00:21:07,910 --> 00:21:09,700
- Sure.
Cool.
517
00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:12,700
[dramatic music]
518
00:21:12,740 --> 00:21:19,660
♪
519
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,410
[laughs]
520
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,590
♪
521
00:21:27,630 --> 00:21:29,890
[laughs]
522
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:33,160
♪
523
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,590
[sighs]
524
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,330
[knocking]
- Hey, are you okay?
525
00:21:36,380 --> 00:21:38,250
- Yeah, I'm great.
526
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,770
- I just need to pee.
[sink water flows]
527
00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:42,770
♪
528
00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:46,130
[sniffling]
529
00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:49,300
[sighs]
530
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:52,480
[screams]
531
00:21:53,610 --> 00:21:56,350
- Let me in.
I know you're upset.
532
00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:03,400
♪
533
00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:05,930
- I'm fine.
Just... sneezed.
534
00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:08,100
Um, have you seen Harry?
535
00:22:08,150 --> 00:22:09,240
- Don't be too self-conscious.
536
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,720
I had a bunch of them eggs too.
537
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,670
You get in line.
I'ma be a while.
538
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,460
Don't stand by the door
neither, a'ight?
539
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,720
- You're the one that said
not to be self-conscious--
540
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,380
- Get away from the damn door!
541
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:19,940
I still see your feet!
- All right.
542
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:26,040
- [grunts]
Ow.
543
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,650
- Looking for something?
544
00:22:28,690 --> 00:22:30,740
- I wanted to heat up pie.
545
00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:33,700
- [whispers] The baby hatched,
and you knew it!
546
00:22:33,740 --> 00:22:36,260
- What?
This is news to me.
547
00:22:36,310 --> 00:22:38,570
How did you
not tell me this sooner?
548
00:22:38,610 --> 00:22:40,570
- Stop it.
I saw it in the bathroom!
549
00:22:40,620 --> 00:22:42,660
- [groans]
- And it has teeth!
550
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:45,050
What kind of baby has teeth?
551
00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:46,620
- Oh, an alien baby.
552
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:51,320
They're very good at ripping
things... or people.
553
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,800
Everyone!
We have to leave the house!
554
00:22:55,930 --> 00:22:56,940
- No.
No, no.
555
00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:58,240
I saw it run outside.
556
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:02,460
- Everyone, we need to stay
inside the house!
557
00:23:02,510 --> 00:23:03,550
- Harry...
- We should keep
558
00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:05,940
everyone together.
559
00:23:05,990 --> 00:23:08,990
Outside is not safe.
560
00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:11,860
[suspenseful music]
561
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:17,390
- Now, any cop that's ever
been a cop in D.C.
562
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:18,960
is there, right?
Which is just--
563
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,660
that's just the way it is at
Kelly's when a cop retires.
564
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,050
So the next thing you know,
565
00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:24,830
we hear all these people
screaming, right?
566
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,830
We don't know what's going on.
567
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,100
Did a fight break out,
you know?
568
00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:29,140
Who knows?
And I look,
569
00:23:29,190 --> 00:23:32,670
and parting the sea of bodies
is a goat.
570
00:23:32,710 --> 00:23:34,710
- What?
- Jesse had snuck a goat
571
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,540
into the bar
and just let it loose.
572
00:23:36,580 --> 00:23:38,410
[laughter]
573
00:23:38,460 --> 00:23:41,550
See, now that was Jesse!
[laughter]
574
00:23:41,590 --> 00:23:43,420
- Good to see you laughin'.
575
00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:45,380
- Hey Dad, can I talk to you
for a second?
576
00:23:45,420 --> 00:23:46,510
- Okay.
577
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:49,250
- Oh, and this other time...
578
00:23:49,290 --> 00:23:50,900
- [whispering]
The alien baby hatched.
579
00:23:50,950 --> 00:23:52,080
It's loose!
580
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:53,380
- [whispering]
Is that a bad thing?
581
00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:55,040
- It's not a good thing.
582
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,950
Keep everyone together, and
don't let anyone outside, okay?
583
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,350
Harry's really worried.
584
00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:02,700
- He doesn't look worried.
- Huh?
585
00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:05,440
- [laughing]
I do not like this gift.
586
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,310
- Didn't I, uh, give you that
last Christmas?
587
00:24:07,350 --> 00:24:09,570
- Well, maybe
if someone had invited me,
588
00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:10,790
I'd have time to shop.
589
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,270
Plus, it smells like doo-doo,
baby.
590
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,630
- Harry, can I ask you
a quick question about the pie?
591
00:24:17,670 --> 00:24:20,060
- The mayor gives cheap gifts.
592
00:24:20,110 --> 00:24:22,150
- Oh, actually
he worked pretty hard on that.
593
00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:25,460
- Not cheap.
Uh, it happens to be beeswax,
594
00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:27,980
nature's gold.
- Isn't gold nature's gold?
595
00:24:28,030 --> 00:24:29,590
- Not to Ben.
596
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:30,990
- What if it's outside?
597
00:24:31,030 --> 00:24:32,730
Then maybe we should stay here.
598
00:24:32,770 --> 00:24:34,470
And if we're going
to stay here,
599
00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:35,950
we should open presents.
600
00:24:35,990 --> 00:24:37,730
- [whispering] Asta! Asta!
- Yeah, do not go outside.
601
00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:39,210
- Asta!
602
00:24:39,260 --> 00:24:40,820
- We should stay inside
while we can't go outside.
603
00:24:40,870 --> 00:24:42,300
- Come on!
- Come on!
604
00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:46,000
Let's go to the other window.
- [whispers] Yeah.
605
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,000
[eerie music]
606
00:24:49,050 --> 00:24:52,790
♪
607
00:24:52,830 --> 00:24:54,180
[raccoon chirping]
608
00:24:54,230 --> 00:24:56,190
[normal pitch] Cool, a raccoon!
609
00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:57,840
- [normal pitch]
Aw, look at the cute little--
610
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,360
[raccoon yowls]
611
00:24:59,410 --> 00:25:01,760
[gory mashing]
612
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,840
What the?
613
00:25:02,890 --> 00:25:04,370
[suspenseful music]
614
00:25:04,410 --> 00:25:05,410
[alien hisses]
615
00:25:05,460 --> 00:25:06,670
[both scream]
616
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:08,330
[both panting]
617
00:25:08,370 --> 00:25:10,810
Do you know what this means?
618
00:25:10,850 --> 00:25:12,380
- Raccoon bones
don't taste good?
619
00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:15,070
- Harry is breeding
alien babies.
620
00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:17,550
♪
621
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,340
- How long do I have
to keep everybody here for?
622
00:25:19,380 --> 00:25:21,210
I mean, is it safe outside?
623
00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:24,210
Did the "humalien" thing
run away?
624
00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:26,560
- I do not know
what the alien will do.
625
00:25:26,610 --> 00:25:28,390
It is a hybrid.
626
00:25:28,430 --> 00:25:31,790
The alien part of it will want
to come back when it is hungry.
627
00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,000
It will know
there is food here.
628
00:25:33,050 --> 00:25:35,050
- You mean us, right?
629
00:25:35,090 --> 00:25:37,270
- No, of course not.
630
00:25:37,310 --> 00:25:40,800
It will want to eat the
egg sack that it was born in.
631
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,410
- Okay.
632
00:25:42,450 --> 00:25:44,190
- Then us.
633
00:25:44,230 --> 00:25:46,240
- Jesus.
- I'll go downstairs
634
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:51,070
and look for it,
and maybe snack on the sack.
635
00:25:51,110 --> 00:25:53,420
- Ew.
- I need something savory.
636
00:25:53,460 --> 00:25:57,120
- You know, about it maybe
eating us thing...
637
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,080
you got bullets for those guns?
638
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:01,340
- They're all loaded.
639
00:26:01,380 --> 00:26:03,560
The real me was redneck-y.
640
00:26:07,780 --> 00:26:09,040
- [sighs]
641
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,350
- Hey Dan.
Uh...
642
00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:13,700
I've been carrying around some
of Jesse's ashes with me
643
00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:14,960
for a while now, right?
644
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,090
I'm thinkin' maybe it's time
to let him go.
645
00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:18,270
You know, spread his ashes.
646
00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,010
- I love that idea.
647
00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:22,790
I think you'll be happier not
carrying that weight around.
648
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,230
- Yeah.
Well, we used to fish
649
00:26:24,270 --> 00:26:25,930
together a lot.
So I thought about
650
00:26:25,970 --> 00:26:27,840
doing it here, on the lake.
651
00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:30,500
You know, maybe we have
a little memorial for him.
652
00:26:30,540 --> 00:26:32,240
I'd love for you
to be a part of it.
653
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,890
- I'd be honored.
Anytime.
654
00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:37,500
- Great!
All right, let's go.
655
00:26:37,550 --> 00:26:40,120
- Uh, not now.
656
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,810
- Why not?
657
00:26:41,860 --> 00:26:43,160
- Too windy.
658
00:26:43,210 --> 00:26:45,770
Not good ash-spreading weather.
659
00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:48,120
- Well, you the expert, right?
660
00:26:48,170 --> 00:26:49,560
I'ma get me some food.
661
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,830
- Hey!
Dr. V!
662
00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:01,790
Just, uh, thought I'd say hi.
663
00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:04,140
Wow, great work space.
664
00:27:04,180 --> 00:27:06,750
You, uh, you build birdhouses
down here?
665
00:27:06,790 --> 00:27:08,800
You, uh, you're a tinkerer?
666
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:09,800
You like to tinker?
667
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,450
- Yes.
668
00:27:11,490 --> 00:27:13,580
Sometimes it makes me shiver
669
00:27:13,630 --> 00:27:16,150
because of the warm urine
leaving my body.
670
00:27:16,190 --> 00:27:17,540
- Oh no, that's, uh...
671
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,680
Anyway, hey, um,
672
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:25,290
wanted to talk to you
about something.
673
00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:29,160
Unfortunately, Dr. Smallwood
has decided to retire,
674
00:27:29,210 --> 00:27:31,650
and we have found ourselves,
once again,
675
00:27:31,690 --> 00:27:33,170
without a town doctor.
676
00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:34,910
- [gasps]
- And, yes, I can see
677
00:27:34,950 --> 00:27:36,210
by the concern on your face
678
00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:37,650
that you understand
what a difficult position
679
00:27:37,690 --> 00:27:38,700
this puts me in.
680
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:40,220
But you know
what's even better?
681
00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,740
- [growls]
- Is you... returning
682
00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:44,570
as our town doctor.
What do you think?
683
00:27:44,610 --> 00:27:46,660
- I will consider it!
[grunts]
684
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:50,190
- Oh!
What the heck was that?
685
00:27:50,230 --> 00:27:52,060
- It was an Earth animal.
686
00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:57,020
It's a sick raccoon.
- Mm-hmm.
687
00:27:57,060 --> 00:28:00,060
- We should probably go away.
688
00:28:00,110 --> 00:28:01,200
Don't get close to it.
689
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,200
- Yep.
Say no more.
690
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,590
That's my cue.
- Mm.
691
00:28:04,630 --> 00:28:06,810
- Uh, I'll go warn the others.
[cell phone rings]
692
00:28:06,850 --> 00:28:09,730
Uh... hmm?
693
00:28:09,770 --> 00:28:11,550
Hello?
694
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:12,950
Oh, hi.
695
00:28:12,990 --> 00:28:14,910
Really?
That's amazing.
696
00:28:14,950 --> 00:28:17,040
♪
697
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,040
[indistinct chatter]
698
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:26,310
♪
699
00:28:26,350 --> 00:28:28,180
- You know, if those
raccoons do have rabies,
700
00:28:28,220 --> 00:28:29,570
we should find them
and take them somewhere.
701
00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:31,440
- Shit, I ain't messin'
with no damn rabies.
702
00:28:31,490 --> 00:28:33,710
You know 100% of people
who have rabies go insane,
703
00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:36,100
but only 20%
of insane people have rabies?
704
00:28:36,140 --> 00:28:37,890
That's a Internet fact.
705
00:28:37,930 --> 00:28:39,100
Mmm.
706
00:28:39,150 --> 00:28:40,410
Oh.
707
00:28:40,450 --> 00:28:42,410
This stuff's pretty good.
708
00:28:42,450 --> 00:28:44,070
It's spicier than I remember.
709
00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:45,890
[smacks lips]
710
00:28:45,940 --> 00:28:47,550
It's tangy.
711
00:28:47,590 --> 00:28:48,590
You know?
712
00:28:48,630 --> 00:28:51,590
- I'll have some of that.
- Yeah.
713
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,420
- Well, looks like New York's
out of the picture.
714
00:28:54,470 --> 00:28:56,600
- What?
Why?
715
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,250
- Ben just got a call
from some company
716
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:00,120
that wants to put
a resort here.
717
00:29:00,170 --> 00:29:01,740
Says he's gonna be
mayor for decades.
718
00:29:01,780 --> 00:29:04,130
- Nobody's putting
a resort here.
719
00:29:04,170 --> 00:29:05,300
What are you talking about?
720
00:29:05,350 --> 00:29:06,700
- I don't know.
He says he took pictures
721
00:29:06,740 --> 00:29:08,440
of the Grady land
to sell them on the idea,
722
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:09,960
and now they want to do it.
723
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,610
- What?
He said he was using
724
00:29:11,660 --> 00:29:13,490
those pictures
for the town website.
725
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,100
What?
726
00:29:16,140 --> 00:29:17,320
- Excuse me.
727
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,490
Hey, didn't realize
you were still here.
728
00:29:22,540 --> 00:29:24,280
- Yeah, just thought
I'd grab something to eat.
729
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,460
- That was like an hour ago.
730
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:28,240
- I guess I've been eating
for an hour.
731
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,240
- Huh.
- Mm-hmm.
732
00:29:31,290 --> 00:29:32,370
- [mutters]
Didn't realize I hired Jughead
733
00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:34,250
to deliver the cake.
734
00:29:34,290 --> 00:29:35,900
Hey,
what are you two talking about?
735
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,030
- Oh, I was just catching up
with D'arcy
736
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,300
about the pictures
that you took for the resort.
737
00:29:40,340 --> 00:29:41,780
- You know, the ones
that you lied to me about,
738
00:29:41,820 --> 00:29:43,600
that you said were
for the "town website."
739
00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:46,130
- Well, I plan on using those
pictures for the town website
740
00:29:46,170 --> 00:29:47,690
as well, so...
not a lie.
741
00:29:47,740 --> 00:29:49,430
Hey, uh,
should I order more food?
742
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,310
'Cause Jay is going through it
like a lawnmower.
743
00:29:51,350 --> 00:29:53,130
- Nope, you totally lied to me.
744
00:29:53,180 --> 00:29:54,530
I mean, Jesus.
745
00:29:54,570 --> 00:29:56,530
We spent the whole day
rock climbing, ATVing,
746
00:29:56,570 --> 00:29:57,920
what, so you could
just bring in a resort
747
00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,100
and destroy the town?
748
00:29:59,140 --> 00:30:00,620
- Uh, you went rock climbing?
749
00:30:00,660 --> 00:30:02,710
- [stammering]
A little bit--small rock.
750
00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:05,410
- So when I got home from my
mom's, and I said, you know,
751
00:30:05,450 --> 00:30:07,410
"What have you been doing?"
and you said, "Nothing,"
752
00:30:07,450 --> 00:30:10,370
was "nothing" rock climbing
with D'arcy?
753
00:30:10,410 --> 00:30:11,980
- Uh... you know, I mean,
754
00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:14,900
isn't "nothing" kind of like
a catchall expression?
755
00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:16,330
I mean, it really could mean
lots of different things.
756
00:30:16,370 --> 00:30:17,850
- No.
It means nothing.
757
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:20,290
You know, what you and D'arcy
did, it wasn't nothing.
758
00:30:20,340 --> 00:30:22,380
It was something,
and for some reason,
759
00:30:22,420 --> 00:30:24,640
you just didn't tell me
about it.
760
00:30:24,690 --> 00:30:25,990
- I just didn't think
it was a big deal.
761
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,690
- Oh shit.
Uh, look.
762
00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:29,610
[clears throat]
I hate to insert myself here,
763
00:30:29,650 --> 00:30:31,610
but it looks like Ben
could use a little help,
764
00:30:31,650 --> 00:30:33,520
so just know
D'arcy kissed Ben,
765
00:30:33,570 --> 00:30:34,700
not the other way around.
766
00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:37,400
He's a completely
innocent bystander.
767
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,480
- You kissed Ben?
768
00:30:39,530 --> 00:30:40,440
- [nervously laughs]
769
00:30:40,490 --> 00:30:42,920
[dramatic music]
770
00:30:47,140 --> 00:30:49,230
- What a fun development.
You two kissed...
771
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,670
each other!
- I told you to tell her
772
00:30:50,710 --> 00:30:52,060
about the kiss.
773
00:30:52,110 --> 00:30:53,500
- You know, this is on me.
774
00:30:53,540 --> 00:30:56,330
I was drunk
and in a really horrible place.
775
00:30:56,370 --> 00:30:57,680
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have done it.
776
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,240
It's not Ben's fault.
- Well put.
777
00:30:59,290 --> 00:31:00,550
- Well,
if it wasn't your fault,
778
00:31:00,590 --> 00:31:01,860
then why wouldn't you
just tell me about it?
779
00:31:01,900 --> 00:31:03,200
I mean, then again,
why would you?
780
00:31:03,250 --> 00:31:04,990
'Cause I'm only just now
hearing about you putting
781
00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:06,340
a stupid resort in town.
782
00:31:06,380 --> 00:31:07,730
- What resort?
783
00:31:07,770 --> 00:31:09,120
You can't put a resort
in Patience.
784
00:31:09,170 --> 00:31:11,340
- See?
I didn't tell anybody.
785
00:31:11,390 --> 00:31:13,910
- Is this the resort you were
talking about that Ben wanted?
786
00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:15,260
- Yeah.
I think it's a bad idea.
787
00:31:15,300 --> 00:31:16,830
so does my mom.
788
00:31:16,870 --> 00:31:18,090
- I might've told Mike,
thought he could keep a secret.
789
00:31:18,130 --> 00:31:19,660
- You can't keep
secrets from somebody
790
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:21,090
who buys your bear claws
every morning.
791
00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:23,270
- It took two bear claws
to find out about the kiss.
792
00:31:23,310 --> 00:31:25,180
- Why is everyone
listening to this?
793
00:31:25,230 --> 00:31:28,010
- 'Cause you're having a
public fight, and we have ears.
794
00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:29,010
- I'm not having a fight.
795
00:31:29,060 --> 00:31:30,670
I am explaining to my wife
796
00:31:30,710 --> 00:31:31,710
why I didn't tell her
797
00:31:31,750 --> 00:31:32,670
about hanging out with D'arcy
798
00:31:32,710 --> 00:31:33,710
a couple nights ago.
799
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:34,890
- So you hung out at night too?
800
00:31:34,930 --> 00:31:35,980
- Okay, now it's a fight.
801
00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:37,190
- I'm not fighting.
802
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:38,980
I don't care
if he hangs out with D'arcy.
803
00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,890
They're friends.
I--I--
804
00:31:40,940 --> 00:31:41,810
I just don't know
why you wouldn't
805
00:31:41,850 --> 00:31:43,510
just tell me about this.
806
00:31:43,550 --> 00:31:47,600
- After we left the Grady land,
D'Arcy came back to the house.
807
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,380
She found some weed that
she had hid in Max's closet,
808
00:31:50,430 --> 00:31:51,600
and we smoked it.
809
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,040
- Wait, you hid pot
in my son's closet?
810
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,210
- Yeah, but I hid it
back in high school
811
00:31:55,260 --> 00:31:56,430
when I was bangin'
your husband.
812
00:31:56,470 --> 00:31:57,560
- Ho, ho, ho...
813
00:31:57,610 --> 00:31:59,560
- Thought it was time
for a hard joke.
814
00:31:59,610 --> 00:32:00,610
- No.
- No.
815
00:32:00,650 --> 00:32:02,050
- Look, this is ridiculous.
816
00:32:02,090 --> 00:32:04,000
Nothing happened.
She fell asleep.
817
00:32:04,050 --> 00:32:06,400
I tucked her into Max's bed.
End of story.
818
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:07,880
- Wait, you slept over?
819
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,920
- Ho, ho, it appears the story
has a few more chapters.
820
00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:10,880
- Wait,
you smoked 15-year-old weed?
821
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,010
- I did.
It was not good.
822
00:32:13,060 --> 00:32:14,970
- Ben--
- Yes, D'arcy slept over
823
00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:17,060
in Max's bed,
and I am telling you now
824
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:19,370
because I have nothing to hide.
825
00:32:19,410 --> 00:32:21,060
- So where were you when
I came home the next morning?
826
00:32:21,110 --> 00:32:22,670
- Ben told me to hide.
I snuck out the window.
827
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,070
- I made a gesture.
828
00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,590
You took it to mean hide.
829
00:32:25,630 --> 00:32:27,070
- I also stole
one of your kid's candy bars.
830
00:32:27,110 --> 00:32:28,510
I'm sorry.
- I can't believe this.
831
00:32:28,550 --> 00:32:30,420
You were hiding in my house?
832
00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:31,860
We hung out after that.
833
00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:34,640
You couldn't just tell me
all of this?
834
00:32:34,690 --> 00:32:36,860
This whole thing was fake.
835
00:32:36,910 --> 00:32:38,690
I really thought
you were my friend.
836
00:32:38,730 --> 00:32:40,950
- No, I am your friend.
837
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,690
- She apologized
for kissing Ben.
838
00:32:42,740 --> 00:32:44,740
- I don't care about that,
okay?
839
00:32:44,780 --> 00:32:46,830
It's a stupid kiss.
Who cares?
840
00:32:46,870 --> 00:32:49,090
D'arcy was drunk and sad.
Big surprise.
841
00:32:49,140 --> 00:32:50,620
- You know,
if you didn't freak out so hard
842
00:32:50,660 --> 00:32:52,100
about your husband
hanging a sign on the wall,
843
00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:53,230
maybe he'd tell you more shit.
844
00:32:53,270 --> 00:32:54,100
- Oh...
845
00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,970
oh, okay that makes sense.
846
00:32:56,010 --> 00:32:57,800
You're
our new interior designer.
847
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,230
Spend your time moving a coffee
table across the room with Ben,
848
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,980
because finding a single guy
849
00:33:02,020 --> 00:33:03,540
who's real and available
is too scary.
850
00:33:03,590 --> 00:33:04,930
- Well, maybe you should
learn to talk to Ben
851
00:33:04,980 --> 00:33:06,110
about your feelings
instead of stuffing them
852
00:33:06,150 --> 00:33:07,630
inside a 90-mile
vertical treadmill run.
853
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:08,980
- So is this what you do?
854
00:33:09,030 --> 00:33:10,290
You insert your drama
into other people's lives
855
00:33:10,330 --> 00:33:11,250
'cause you can't deal
with your own?
856
00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:12,420
- No, I'm dealing with mine
857
00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:13,380
just fine, all right?
858
00:33:13,420 --> 00:33:15,250
I'm working out.
I'm in shape.
859
00:33:15,290 --> 00:33:17,080
I look great.
I quit drinking for...
860
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,950
four hours--
- You lied to me.
861
00:33:19,990 --> 00:33:21,390
You know what?
No.
862
00:33:21,430 --> 00:33:23,300
I deserved it, because
I have been lying for years.
863
00:33:23,340 --> 00:33:25,130
You wanna know the truth?
I hate it here.
864
00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:27,480
I hate Patience.
I hate my life,
865
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,570
and I hate that I really
thought you were my friend,
866
00:33:30,610 --> 00:33:31,830
and I'm glad
that I pissed on your hand
867
00:33:31,870 --> 00:33:33,220
when I took
that pregnancy test!
868
00:33:33,270 --> 00:33:34,360
- What?
869
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:35,530
- [sighs]
870
00:33:35,570 --> 00:33:36,620
I'm pregnant.
871
00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:41,410
[party popper bangs]
- Congratulations!
872
00:33:44,710 --> 00:33:47,630
- Well, well, well,
who's keeping secrets now?
873
00:33:47,670 --> 00:33:49,850
- Um, not really the road
874
00:33:49,890 --> 00:33:51,150
you wanna be drivin' down
right now.
875
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,720
- Couldn't agree more.
- Okay.
876
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,110
- Can you believe this shit?
877
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,940
She actually thinks I'm afraid
878
00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:58,510
of being with a single man
who's real.
879
00:33:58,550 --> 00:33:59,680
That's ridiculous.
880
00:33:59,730 --> 00:34:00,900
- Pretty much dead on.
881
00:34:00,950 --> 00:34:02,770
- You are also really needy.
882
00:34:02,820 --> 00:34:03,950
- [sighs]
- Perfect.
883
00:34:03,990 --> 00:34:05,040
Side with the man.
884
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,650
These guys.
Am I right, Liv?
885
00:34:06,690 --> 00:34:08,560
I'm not afraid of being
in a real relationship.
886
00:34:10,910 --> 00:34:13,350
- What?
Oh, coming.
887
00:34:13,390 --> 00:34:16,010
- Uh, oh, hey, hey.
Where are you goin'?
888
00:34:16,050 --> 00:34:17,440
- Shit, unless you got
another fight planned,
889
00:34:17,490 --> 00:34:19,050
I'm pretty sure that was
the highlight of the night.
890
00:34:19,100 --> 00:34:22,320
- No, no.
Um, you can't leave yet...
891
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:27,020
because we still have cake!
[giggles]
892
00:34:27,060 --> 00:34:28,410
- Whoo.
893
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:36,630
- I'm sorry.
894
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,160
[dramatic music]
895
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,120
I'm really sorry.
[stammers] I...
896
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,560
I should've told you
about the D'arcy stuff.
897
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,390
♪
898
00:34:48,430 --> 00:34:51,910
I figure you're probably, at
this point, well aware,
899
00:34:51,950 --> 00:34:52,960
but um,
900
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,650
you're married to a dipshit.
901
00:34:55,700 --> 00:35:01,220
♪
902
00:35:01,270 --> 00:35:03,140
- [sighs] I'm sorry.
903
00:35:03,180 --> 00:35:05,580
I should've told you
about the--
904
00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:06,880
[sighs] you know...
905
00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:08,750
♪
906
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,100
- Why didn't you tell me?
907
00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:12,930
- I don't know.
I don't know--I...
908
00:35:12,980 --> 00:35:15,150
[sighs] Was...
909
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,810
scared, and
we don't really talk anymore.
910
00:35:19,850 --> 00:35:24,770
Anytime anything remotely
uncomfortable comes up,
911
00:35:24,810 --> 00:35:26,730
we just--we just have sex
912
00:35:26,770 --> 00:35:28,770
instead of talking
about what's really going on.
913
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:30,340
- Okay, okay.
914
00:35:30,380 --> 00:35:32,600
Let's talk.
Right now.
915
00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,910
We're gonna have a baby.
916
00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,440
- Yeah.
917
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,660
♪
918
00:35:40,700 --> 00:35:43,350
- That's...
919
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,180
a lot.
920
00:35:44,220 --> 00:35:46,620
♪
921
00:35:46,660 --> 00:35:47,970
- It's a lot, a lot.
922
00:35:48,010 --> 00:35:53,020
♪
923
00:35:57,630 --> 00:36:03,900
all: ♪ Happy birthday,
dear Harry ♪
924
00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:10,290
♪ Happy birthday to you
925
00:36:14,380 --> 00:36:16,820
- You can go ahead
and blow out the candles.
926
00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,480
- No.
927
00:36:19,690 --> 00:36:21,130
I do not like cake.
928
00:36:21,170 --> 00:36:22,180
- Well, if you don't
blow out the candles,
929
00:36:22,220 --> 00:36:23,260
your wish won't come true.
930
00:36:23,310 --> 00:36:26,180
- Mm.
- I'll help you out, Harry.
931
00:36:26,220 --> 00:36:27,220
- Oh.
- Oh.
932
00:36:27,270 --> 00:36:29,230
[distant moaning]
933
00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:31,620
- And someone's having sex
in the bathroom.
934
00:36:35,710 --> 00:36:37,060
- Now, do not be concerned.
935
00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:38,150
These old houses...
936
00:36:38,190 --> 00:36:41,410
you can't beat them,
but join them!
937
00:36:41,460 --> 00:36:42,630
- Everybody just sit tight,
okay?
938
00:36:42,670 --> 00:36:44,370
Nobody leave.
Dad, can you help me
939
00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:45,550
go downstairs,
check the breaker?
940
00:36:45,590 --> 00:36:46,980
- You bet.
941
00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:48,510
- Raccoons probably chewed
through the wires.
942
00:36:48,550 --> 00:36:49,940
- Yeah, you know,
I got this call once.
943
00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:51,990
It was a woodchuck
that got into a fuse box.
944
00:36:52,030 --> 00:36:53,730
Fried the poor little guy
medium rare.
945
00:36:53,770 --> 00:36:55,300
Do you know
what the crazy part is?
946
00:36:55,340 --> 00:36:56,300
You know what it smelled like?
947
00:36:56,340 --> 00:36:58,600
Caesar salad.
- Hmm.
948
00:36:58,650 --> 00:37:00,170
- Mm-hmm.
- Delicious.
949
00:37:00,210 --> 00:37:02,170
- Do not worry
about the raccoon.
950
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,000
I'm going outside
to set a trap.
951
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,180
- Oh, I don't think
raccoons eat pies.
952
00:37:07,220 --> 00:37:09,480
- No.
Harrys do.
953
00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:10,830
You can have garbage cake.
954
00:37:12,310 --> 00:37:14,580
- Who keeps loaded rifles
in their house?
955
00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:17,840
- We're protecting ourselves
from an outer space egg baby.
956
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:20,490
That's the question
you're asking, Dad?
957
00:37:20,540 --> 00:37:22,020
- Hey, did you steal fruit?
958
00:37:22,060 --> 00:37:24,850
- Oh, yes, Mr. Biggins,
I stole all the apples.
959
00:37:24,890 --> 00:37:26,060
I need to be punished.
- How about this?
960
00:37:26,110 --> 00:37:27,810
- [moans]
- [whispers] Jesus.
961
00:37:27,850 --> 00:37:28,940
- I swear, Mr. Biggins,
962
00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:30,590
I didn't mean any disrespect.
963
00:37:30,630 --> 00:37:32,510
[moaning]
- You in the right business.
964
00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:34,200
[suspenseful music]
965
00:37:34,250 --> 00:37:35,470
- Baby...
966
00:37:35,510 --> 00:37:36,550
♪
967
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:40,510
Little baby.
Agh!
968
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,210
Baby?
969
00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:43,470
Come here.
970
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,740
♪
971
00:37:46,780 --> 00:37:50,350
[faint tinkling sound]
972
00:37:50,390 --> 00:37:56,920
♪
973
00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:59,360
[rustling sound]
- Whoa.
974
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,750
- [sighs]
975
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,750
What are you doing here?
976
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,190
- We came to warn you
about the Men in Black.
977
00:38:04,230 --> 00:38:06,320
They took Dr. Ethan.
- What?
978
00:38:06,370 --> 00:38:08,930
- In the spring,
Max told them he was the alien.
979
00:38:08,980 --> 00:38:11,070
- Hey, you don't speak for me.
980
00:38:11,110 --> 00:38:12,370
Yeah, what she said is right.
981
00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:15,200
- Anyway, once they realize
he's a human,
982
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:16,720
they're gonna come back
for Harry.
983
00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:18,550
Plus, there's an alien baby
984
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,550
killing animals outside,
just FYI.
985
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,860
- Yup.
I know about that.
986
00:38:21,900 --> 00:38:23,690
Um, thank you for telling me.
987
00:38:23,730 --> 00:38:25,170
[whispers]
Can you please sneak them home
988
00:38:25,210 --> 00:38:26,730
and make sure
they don't get eaten?
989
00:38:26,780 --> 00:38:28,040
- I'll take care of them.
990
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,560
But it looks like
you're not gonna have
991
00:38:29,610 --> 00:38:31,090
any lights for a while longer.
992
00:38:31,130 --> 00:38:32,910
- [normal pitch] Okay.
What are you guys
993
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,260
even doing here?
Don't you have a babysitter?
994
00:38:35,310 --> 00:38:36,920
- It's Ellen.
995
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,010
- Say no more.
Okay, get home safe.
996
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,760
- I think this is
a really weird party.
997
00:38:49,230 --> 00:38:51,020
- Good cake, though.
- Yeah.
998
00:38:51,060 --> 00:38:54,890
Am I a bad person if I like
seeing other couples fight?
999
00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:00,420
- You're a horrible person.
[both giggle]
1000
00:39:00,460 --> 00:39:02,340
[alien chirruping]
1001
00:39:02,380 --> 00:39:09,390
♪
1002
00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:11,560
[low growling noise]
1003
00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:14,780
♪
1004
00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:16,390
- Honey?
What's wrong?
1005
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,790
- Something happened to me.
1006
00:39:18,830 --> 00:39:20,830
There's alien activity here,
1007
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,830
in Patience.
I know it.
1008
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,750
- What are you gonna do?
1009
00:39:24,790 --> 00:39:27,060
- The only thing I can do.
1010
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:28,930
I'm gonna call
the alien tracker
1011
00:39:28,970 --> 00:39:30,410
and tell him
to come to Patience
1012
00:39:30,450 --> 00:39:32,320
and find himself an alien.
1013
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:33,980
- Sorry about that, guys!
1014
00:39:34,020 --> 00:39:35,980
Raccoon definitely
knocked out the power.
1015
00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:37,810
Um, until we figure this out,
1016
00:39:37,850 --> 00:39:39,240
I think we should
just stay put.
1017
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,770
- Better call D'arcy.
She just left.
1018
00:39:41,810 --> 00:39:43,510
- [whispers] Ugh, damn it.
1019
00:39:43,550 --> 00:39:46,510
[dramatic music]
1020
00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:49,510
♪
1021
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,730
[normal pitch] Hey!
1022
00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:52,990
- Hey.
- Oh.
1023
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,430
- Nice rifle.
- [sighs]
1024
00:39:54,470 --> 00:39:56,350
- You headed out to scare up
some vittles?
1025
00:39:56,390 --> 00:39:57,520
- Didn't you hear?
1026
00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,650
There's a rabid raccoon
on the loose.
1027
00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:02,310
- Good.
Maybe it'll bite me.
1028
00:40:02,350 --> 00:40:04,350
If I start foaming
at the mouth, don't shoot me.
1029
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:05,490
Just...
1030
00:40:05,530 --> 00:40:07,140
let me suffer.
1031
00:40:07,180 --> 00:40:09,230
- Don't listen
to anything she says.
1032
00:40:09,270 --> 00:40:10,400
It's not true.
1033
00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:13,970
- Yeah it is, though.
1034
00:40:15,970 --> 00:40:17,630
- Do you know what
my very first thought was
1035
00:40:17,670 --> 00:40:20,460
when I met Elliot?
- Nice ass?
1036
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:22,810
- Yes.
- Yeah.
1037
00:40:22,850 --> 00:40:24,330
- Do you know what
my second thought was?
1038
00:40:27,290 --> 00:40:29,380
"How long till I mess this up?"
1039
00:40:29,420 --> 00:40:31,860
♪
1040
00:40:31,900 --> 00:40:34,210
What the shit
is wrong with me?
1041
00:40:34,250 --> 00:40:35,520
♪
1042
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,520
- Okay.
1043
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,560
So un-mess it.
1044
00:40:39,610 --> 00:40:41,650
Call him.
- Yeah, right.
1045
00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:43,310
- Call him now.
1046
00:40:43,350 --> 00:40:44,310
I have a gun.
1047
00:40:44,350 --> 00:40:46,260
♪
1048
00:40:46,310 --> 00:40:48,050
- [groans]
I'm not calling him.
1049
00:40:48,090 --> 00:40:49,050
- Okay, I'll do it.
- No.
1050
00:40:49,090 --> 00:40:50,660
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no.
1051
00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:51,920
- No, no, I'll just do it.
- You won't do that, 'cause no,
1052
00:40:51,970 --> 00:40:53,050
I'll text him.
- I'll call--
1053
00:40:53,100 --> 00:40:54,800
- Okay, I'll text him!
I'll text him.
1054
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,150
♪
1055
00:40:57,190 --> 00:40:57,930
[sighs]
1056
00:40:57,970 --> 00:40:59,840
♪
1057
00:40:59,890 --> 00:41:01,540
What do I even say?
1058
00:41:01,580 --> 00:41:04,890
- Uh, how about "Hi?"
1059
00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:06,940
- That's kind of brilliant.
- Yeah.
1060
00:41:06,980 --> 00:41:08,900
[cell phone keyboard clicking]
1061
00:41:08,940 --> 00:41:11,030
- Okay, it's sent.
1062
00:41:11,070 --> 00:41:12,330
Ugh!
Now I just have to be
1063
00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:13,810
nauseous for two weeks
waiting to see if he--
1064
00:41:13,860 --> 00:41:14,770
[cell phone buzzes]
Oh, my God.
1065
00:41:14,820 --> 00:41:18,040
- [laughs] Hey!
Hi.
1066
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,170
- You're a goddamn genius.
1067
00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:20,730
- [laughs]
1068
00:41:20,780 --> 00:41:21,740
Hi.
- Hi.
1069
00:41:21,780 --> 00:41:22,740
It's simple.
It works.
1070
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:23,820
- Yes.
- Hi.
1071
00:41:23,870 --> 00:41:24,830
- Okay, are you
gonna write back?
1072
00:41:24,870 --> 00:41:26,740
- No.
I mean, in a couple days.
1073
00:41:26,780 --> 00:41:28,440
What am I, desperate?
1074
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,400
- Baby, this is for you.
1075
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,660
[sniffs]
Mmm.
1076
00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:36,530
Mmm.
1077
00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:37,660
Come and get it!
1078
00:41:37,710 --> 00:41:40,620
[suspenseful music]
1079
00:41:40,670 --> 00:41:42,450
- [clicking]
1080
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:44,240
- Oh.
1081
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,280
Oh.
1082
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,110
♪
1083
00:41:48,150 --> 00:41:51,290
[whimsical music]
1084
00:41:51,330 --> 00:41:54,160
♪
1085
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,730
- [squeals]
- [grunts]
1086
00:41:55,770 --> 00:41:56,860
- [yowls]
1087
00:41:56,900 --> 00:41:57,900
♪
1088
00:41:57,950 --> 00:42:01,560
[electricity crackles]
1089
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:02,820
- [sighs]
1090
00:42:05,390 --> 00:42:06,820
- Hello, Harry.
1091
00:42:06,870 --> 00:42:08,390
I'm Goliath.
1092
00:42:08,430 --> 00:42:09,570
- Goliath.
1093
00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:14,480
Why are you inside
a hybrid alien baby?
1094
00:42:14,530 --> 00:42:16,750
- Clever, right?
1095
00:42:16,790 --> 00:42:18,970
I needed to send you a message,
1096
00:42:19,010 --> 00:42:22,230
and this is a big one.
1097
00:42:22,270 --> 00:42:24,320
First, you need to know that
our people are not coming
1098
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,670
to kill everyone.
- Why are they not coming?
1099
00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:28,320
- Because it's too dangerous.
1100
00:42:28,370 --> 00:42:29,930
There's an alien race
that's planning
1101
00:42:29,980 --> 00:42:32,070
to take over the Earth.
They're here, Harry.
1102
00:42:32,110 --> 00:42:33,720
- What alien race?
1103
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:35,640
- You must be careful.
They are--
1104
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:36,720
[gunshot]
- [squeals]
1105
00:42:36,770 --> 00:42:38,330
- Wha--
1106
00:42:38,380 --> 00:42:39,640
Ah.
1107
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:45,600
♪
1108
00:42:45,650 --> 00:42:46,650
No...
1109
00:42:46,690 --> 00:42:48,910
♪
1110
00:42:48,950 --> 00:42:52,040
- You should've just stayed
in Colorado and done your job.
1111
00:42:52,090 --> 00:42:53,700
- You shot me.
1112
00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:56,610
- Yeah, like you shot
two of my guys in New York.
1113
00:42:56,660 --> 00:43:00,570
I should have never made you
kill Sam Hodges.
1114
00:43:00,620 --> 00:43:02,360
I should have just
taken care of it myself.
1115
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,310
[gun cocks]
1116
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,060
[gunshot]
1117
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:10,670
♪
1118
00:43:10,710 --> 00:43:12,060
- Asta.
1119
00:43:12,110 --> 00:43:19,240
♪
1120
00:43:19,290 --> 00:43:22,070
[Belle and Sebastian's
"The Boy With the Arab Strap"]
1121
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:28,340
♪
1122
00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:30,250
- Holy shit.
1123
00:43:30,300 --> 00:43:33,690
- [panting]
Harry...
1124
00:43:33,740 --> 00:43:37,090
- ♪ A mile and a half
on a bus takes a long time ♪
1125
00:43:37,130 --> 00:43:38,650
♪ The odor
of old prison food ♪
1126
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:41,880
♪ Takes a long time
to pass you by ♪
1127
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:46,660
♪
1128
00:43:46,710 --> 00:43:50,410
♪ Day upon day,
this wandering gets you down ♪
1129
00:43:50,450 --> 00:43:53,360
♪ Nobody gives you
a chance or a dollar ♪
1130
00:43:53,410 --> 00:43:55,580
♪ In this old town
1131
00:43:55,630 --> 00:44:00,590
♪
1132
00:44:00,630 --> 00:44:03,680
♪ Hovering silence
from you is a giveaway ♪
1133
00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:05,680
♪ Squalor and smoke's
not your style ♪
77867
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