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1
00:00:02,124 --> 00:00:06,698
♪ THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD,
I SHALL NOT WANT ♪
2
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:09,002
♪ HE MAKETH ME ♪
3
00:00:09,004 --> 00:00:12,393
♪ TO LIE DOWN
IN GREEN PASTURES ♪
4
00:00:12,395 --> 00:00:17,480
♪ HE LEADETH ME ♪
5
00:00:17,482 --> 00:00:23,560
♪ BESIDE THE STILL WATERS ♪
6
00:00:24,905 --> 00:00:27,207
THEY ROT THE BRAIN,
7
00:00:27,209 --> 00:00:28,999
THEY WARP THE MIND,
8
00:00:29,001 --> 00:00:32,103
AND THEY DESTROY
THE VERY FABRIC
OF OUR SOCIETY.
9
00:00:32,105 --> 00:00:34,887
NOW, SURELY
IT'S UP TO THE CHURCH
TO TAKE A MORAL STAND
10
00:00:34,889 --> 00:00:36,550
AND SPEAK OUT AGAINST THEM.
11
00:00:36,552 --> 00:00:37,703
RIGHT.
12
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,430
I'LL MENTION IT TO THE BISHOP.
13
00:00:39,432 --> 00:00:42,790
"DEEP HOSTILITY IN DIBLEY
TO ALL PROGRAMS
14
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,486
STARRING ANTHEA TURNER."
15
00:00:45,799 --> 00:00:47,941
NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THIS OTHER THING?
16
00:00:47,943 --> 00:00:50,820
I THINK IT'S
AN EXTREMELY STUPID IDEA.
17
00:00:50,822 --> 00:00:52,517
AND, REMEMBER,
I SHOULD KNOW.
18
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,077
I'M THE MAN WHO GAVE
THE GO-AHEAD TO POP-TARTS.
19
00:00:55,079 --> 00:00:57,957
THE BISHOP SAYS, "THE IDEA
OF EXCHANGE FOR PRIESTS
20
00:00:57,959 --> 00:00:59,459
"IS A BRILLIANT BREAKTHROUGH
21
00:00:59,461 --> 00:01:01,220
"FOR INTERDENOMINATIONAL
UNDERSTANDING,
22
00:01:01,222 --> 00:01:02,820
"WHICH COULD BRING
PEACE AND HARMONY
23
00:01:02,822 --> 00:01:04,259
IN THIS TROUBLED WORLD."
24
00:01:04,261 --> 00:01:07,331
SO, WE GET
AN IRISH PRIEST HERE,
25
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:09,251
AND NEXT YEAR,
YOU GO TO IRELAND?
26
00:01:09,253 --> 00:01:10,563
YEAH.
27
00:01:10,565 --> 00:01:14,434
YOU KNOW, HANG OUT WITH
U2 AND VAN MORRISON.
28
00:01:14,436 --> 00:01:15,394
AND VAL DOONIGAN.
29
00:01:15,396 --> 00:01:17,826
YES, THAT'S TRUE...
30
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:20,610
AND I SUPPOSE YOU'LL
BE WANTING THIS PRIEST
31
00:01:20,612 --> 00:01:22,210
TO STAY WITH ME?
32
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:24,354
NO, IT'S FINE.
HE CAN STAY HERE.
33
00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:27,553
OVER MY DEAD BODY,
YOUNG LADY!
34
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:31,265
DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA LEAVE
MY UNMARRIED VICAR UNCHAPERONED
35
00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:33,984
IN A HOUSE WITH
SOME IRISH LOTHARIO?
36
00:01:33,986 --> 00:01:35,520
CALM DOWN, DAVID.
37
00:01:35,522 --> 00:01:36,928
ALL IRISH PRIESTS
38
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,008
ARE JUST SHORT, SWEATY BLOKES
39
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:40,639
WHO DON'T MIND BEING CELIBATE
40
00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:42,687
BECAUSE, FRANKLY,
THEIR CHANCES OF GETTING LAID
41
00:01:42,689 --> 00:01:44,767
BY ANYTHING
WITH LESS THAN FOUR LEGS
42
00:01:44,769 --> 00:01:46,783
ARE ABOUT THE SAME
AS MY CHANCES
43
00:01:46,785 --> 00:01:49,247
OF ENDING UP IN BED
WITH DAMON FROM BLUR.
44
00:01:49,249 --> 00:01:52,703
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME WHILE I JUST
ENJOY THAT FANTASY FOR A MOMENT?
45
00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:53,663
OH, PLEASE...
46
00:01:53,664 --> 00:01:56,318
LISTEN, I AM GOING TO BE
SHARING MY HOUSE
47
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,494
WITH BROTHER WENDY.
48
00:02:00,959 --> 00:02:02,781
THERE'LL BE NO TEMPTATION.
49
00:02:02,783 --> 00:02:04,637
WELL, BE IT
ON YOUR OWN HEAD.
50
00:02:04,639 --> 00:02:06,781
WHERE'D YOU SAY
THIS CHAP COMES FROM?
51
00:02:06,783 --> 00:02:09,756
OH, SOME DISTANT, STRANGE CORNER
OF THE EMERALD ISLE.
52
00:02:09,758 --> 00:02:12,380
AH! BALLYKISSANGEL.
53
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,300
NO, NEVER HEARD OF IT.
54
00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:16,828
BALLYKISSANGEL.
55
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:19,548
OH, SURELY THAT'S
A MADE-UP NAME.
56
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:22,587
♪ STILL WATERS... ♪
57
00:02:22,589 --> 00:02:26,363
RIGHT. SO SMALL CHANGE,
BIG DIFFERENCE.
58
00:02:26,365 --> 00:02:27,482
( doorbell rings )
59
00:02:27,484 --> 00:02:29,435
OH, BROTHER WENDY.
60
00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:35,066
HELLO. I'M FATHER
PETER CLIFFORD.
61
00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:37,402
I'M LOOKING FOR
THE REVEREND GERRY GRANGER.
62
00:02:37,404 --> 00:02:39,706
GOOD LORD. UM...
63
00:02:39,708 --> 00:02:41,785
WELL, THAT'S ME.
GERALDINE GRANGER.
64
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,609
GOOD LORD...
65
00:02:43,611 --> 00:02:45,945
WELL, WHAT A SURPRISE.
66
00:02:45,947 --> 00:02:47,448
YOU WEREN'T
EXPECTING ME?
67
00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:49,848
NO! YES, YES!
NO, NO, NO.
68
00:02:49,850 --> 00:02:51,640
DO--DO COME IN.
69
00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:53,560
IT'S JUST
I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU
70
00:02:53,562 --> 00:02:55,575
TO BE QUITE
SO UTTERLY, UM...
71
00:02:55,577 --> 00:02:57,239
UH, UH, TALL.
72
00:02:57,241 --> 00:02:58,807
I ALWAYS THINK
OF CATHOLIC PRIESTS
73
00:02:58,809 --> 00:03:00,920
AS RATHER,
UH, SHORT PEOPLE.
74
00:03:00,922 --> 00:03:02,231
LIKE--LIKE THE POPE.
75
00:03:02,233 --> 00:03:04,055
COULD FIT HIM
IN YOUR POCKET,
COULDN'T YA?
76
00:03:04,057 --> 00:03:05,270
POLLY-POCKET POPE.
77
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,286
UH, POPE-ON-A-ROPE.
78
00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,726
ANYWAY...
79
00:03:08,728 --> 00:03:10,454
RIGHT. LET'S, UM...
80
00:03:12,824 --> 00:03:14,134
YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY
81
00:03:14,136 --> 00:03:16,501
YOUR AVERAGE
CHURCH-OF-ENGLAND
VICAR, EITHER.
82
00:03:16,503 --> 00:03:18,325
GOT THESE,
FOR A START!
83
00:03:20,695 --> 00:03:22,901
RIGHT. IF YOU'D
LIKE TO SIT DOWN...
84
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:26,612
HAVE YOU GOT ANY IDEA
WHY THEY CHOSE US TWO?
85
00:03:26,614 --> 00:03:29,204
COULD IT BE BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH
SO INCREDIBLY GOOD-LOOKING?
86
00:03:29,205 --> 00:03:31,252
HA HA HA HA!
87
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,884
FAR TOO OVEREXCITED.
CALM DOWN.
88
00:03:32,886 --> 00:03:34,132
( clears throat )
89
00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:35,923
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
WHY IT WAS US?
90
00:03:35,925 --> 00:03:37,363
NO. I THINK, BASICALLY,
91
00:03:37,365 --> 00:03:39,603
THEY JUST WANTED
TO START THE EXPERIMENT
92
00:03:39,605 --> 00:03:42,259
WITH TWO COMPLETELY NORMAL
COUNTRY COMMUNITIES.
93
00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:44,082
COMPLETELY NORMAL...
RIGHT.
94
00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:48,274
WELL, QUITE HONESTLY,
I CAN SAY THAT DIBLEY
IS COMPLETELY NORMAL.
95
00:03:48,276 --> 00:03:49,746
NORMAL PEOPLE OUT THERE.
96
00:03:49,748 --> 00:03:51,890
NORMALLY, NORMALLY
NORMAL THAT LOT.
97
00:03:51,892 --> 00:03:53,810
SO A VERY GOOD MATCH, THEN?
98
00:03:53,812 --> 00:03:55,089
STAY AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.
99
00:03:55,091 --> 00:03:56,049
( doorbell rings )
100
00:03:56,051 --> 00:03:57,361
BACK IN A SEX.
101
00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:59,312
SEC! SEC! NOT SEX.
102
00:04:04,082 --> 00:04:07,344
AH, NOW, JIM, THIS
IS FATHER PETER CLIFFORD,
103
00:04:07,346 --> 00:04:10,224
WHOSE COME TO VISIT US IN OUR
VERY NORMAL LITTLE VILLAGE.
104
00:04:10,226 --> 00:04:12,432
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
105
00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:13,679
YES.
YES.
106
00:04:13,681 --> 00:04:16,048
HOW DO YOU DO?
VERY WELL, THANK YOU.
107
00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:17,775
NOW, I WANT FATHER C
108
00:04:17,777 --> 00:04:20,879
TO GET A VERY REAL VIEW
OF LIFE HERE IN DIBLEY.
109
00:04:20,881 --> 00:04:23,118
SO JUST PRETEND HE'S NOT HERE.
110
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,142
FINE.
111
00:04:24,144 --> 00:04:25,262
RIGHT.
112
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,278
THAT DAFT IRISH PRIEST
113
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:28,622
HASN'T ARRIVED YET, THEN?
114
00:04:28,624 --> 00:04:31,534
TYPICAL. I SUPPOSE
WHEN HE DOES TURN UP,
115
00:04:31,536 --> 00:04:34,349
HE'LL BE BOUNCIN' ABOUT
IN A LONG DRESS.
116
00:04:34,351 --> 00:04:36,877
PALMING THE PLACE OUT
WITH INCENSE.
117
00:04:36,879 --> 00:04:38,765
SHUT UP NOW, JIM.
SHUT UP!
118
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:39,981
HA HA!
119
00:04:39,983 --> 00:04:42,252
AS YOU CAN SEE, FATHER C
ACTUALLY IS HERE, ISN'T HE?
120
00:04:42,254 --> 00:04:43,692
THERE HE IS,
YOU SEE.
121
00:04:43,694 --> 00:04:46,668
NOW, I'M ASKING YOU
TO BEHAVE AS IF HE ISN'T HERE.
122
00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:49,547
DO YOU SEE?
OH, RIGHT.
123
00:04:49,549 --> 00:04:52,651
SO YOU DON'T MIND
IF I SIT DOWN HERE, THEN?
124
00:04:52,653 --> 00:04:53,739
NO, NO, NO!
125
00:04:53,741 --> 00:04:55,563
JIM, NO.
UP WE GO, THEN.
126
00:04:55,565 --> 00:04:56,971
OFF WE GO HOME NOW.
127
00:04:56,973 --> 00:04:58,474
IT'S LOVELY
TO SEE YOU.
128
00:04:58,476 --> 00:04:59,786
THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT.
129
00:04:59,788 --> 00:05:03,754
I'LL CALL AROUND LATER
TO, UH, TO FINISH THE LOBOTOMY.
130
00:05:03,756 --> 00:05:05,226
ONE IN EVERY VILLAGE,
ISN'T THERE? JUST THE ONE.
131
00:05:05,228 --> 00:05:06,409
( doorbell rings )
132
00:05:06,411 --> 00:05:08,266
I'LL JUST SEE
WHO THAT IS.
133
00:05:11,052 --> 00:05:13,961
OWEN, THIS IS
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD.
134
00:05:13,963 --> 00:05:15,144
HE'S FROM IRELAND.
135
00:05:15,146 --> 00:05:17,161
HELLO.
CATHOLIC, ARE YA?
136
00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:18,312
THAT'S RIGHT.
137
00:05:18,314 --> 00:05:20,712
I BET THAT CUTS DOWN
ON YOUR SNOGGIN' A BIT.
138
00:05:20,714 --> 00:05:22,311
HA HA HA HA! YOU.
139
00:05:22,313 --> 00:05:23,783
IT DOES RATHER.
140
00:05:23,785 --> 00:05:26,600
NOT THAT YOU'D GET MUCH ACTION
ANYHOW, FACE LIKE THAT.
141
00:05:26,602 --> 00:05:29,255
OWEN, IS THERE
ANY PARTICULAR REASON
FOR YOUR VISIT,
142
00:05:29,257 --> 00:05:31,271
OR HAVE YOU COME HERE
SPECIFICALLY
143
00:05:31,273 --> 00:05:32,327
TO INSULT OUR GUEST?
144
00:05:32,328 --> 00:05:33,511
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
145
00:05:33,513 --> 00:05:35,495
THAT IS THE PURPOSE
OF MY VISIT.
146
00:05:35,497 --> 00:05:36,455
IT IS?
147
00:05:36,457 --> 00:05:37,958
YES. WHEN I WAS YOUNG,
148
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,558
THEY THREW ME OUT
OF MY CONVENT SCHOOL.
149
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,413
OH, DEAR. WHY?
150
00:05:41,415 --> 00:05:43,621
IT TURNED OUT
I WASN'T A GIRL.
151
00:05:43,623 --> 00:05:44,805
I SEE.
152
00:05:44,807 --> 00:05:47,365
EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE,
I SUPPOSE.
153
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:48,869
I NEVER FORGAVE THEM.
154
00:05:48,871 --> 00:05:51,365
I SWORE THAT IF EVER I MET
ANOTHER CATHOLIC PRIEST,
155
00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:52,677
I'D GET MY OWN BACK.
156
00:05:52,679 --> 00:05:53,924
AH...
157
00:05:53,926 --> 00:05:55,524
UNFORTUNATELY,
LIVIN' HERE IN DIBLEY,
158
00:05:55,526 --> 00:05:58,052
I'VE NOT COME ACROSS
ANY PRIESTS, UNTIL NOW,
159
00:05:58,054 --> 00:06:00,036
YOU SNIVELIN' LITTLE GIT.
160
00:06:00,038 --> 00:06:03,715
I'M GLAD THAT I COULD HELP
GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.
161
00:06:03,717 --> 00:06:05,987
THANKS. APPRECIATE IT,
162
00:06:05,989 --> 00:06:08,035
YOU LOATHSOME LUMP OF MANURE.
163
00:06:08,037 --> 00:06:09,538
NOT AT ALL.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
164
00:06:09,540 --> 00:06:11,651
YOU, TOO,
TOILET TEETH.
165
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,626
A NICE CHAP!
166
00:06:14,628 --> 00:06:15,682
ISN'T HE?
167
00:06:15,684 --> 00:06:16,642
BYE-BYE, THEN.
168
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,921
BYE-BYE.
169
00:06:17,923 --> 00:06:19,874
( chuckling )
170
00:06:19,876 --> 00:06:21,154
NOW, HONESTLY,
171
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:23,553
IT USUALLY IS MUCH MORE
NORMAL THAN THIS.
172
00:06:23,555 --> 00:06:24,513
( doorbell rings )
173
00:06:24,515 --> 00:06:25,600
THIRD TIME LUCKY, EH?
174
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,560
Alice: GERRY?
175
00:06:26,562 --> 00:06:28,673
RIGHT. WORRYING
TURN OF EVENTS NOW.
176
00:06:28,675 --> 00:06:29,793
THIS IS ALICE.
177
00:06:29,795 --> 00:06:31,553
SHE'S MY VERGER.
178
00:06:31,554 --> 00:06:34,080
AND SHE'S WEARING
A BUMBLE-BEE COSTUME.
179
00:06:34,082 --> 00:06:35,936
HA HA!
NOW THEN, ALICE,
180
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:37,824
WHY IN THE NAME
OF ARSE--
181
00:06:37,826 --> 00:06:39,295
IT'S FOR CHARITY.
182
00:06:39,297 --> 00:06:40,512
I SEE.
( doorbell rings )
183
00:06:40,514 --> 00:06:41,568
OH, GOD!
184
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:43,455
IS GOOD,
ISN'T HE?
185
00:06:43,457 --> 00:06:44,415
VERY GOOD.
186
00:06:44,417 --> 00:06:46,622
JUST TALK
BETWEEN YOURSELVES.
187
00:06:46,624 --> 00:06:48,063
MAN TO INSECT.
188
00:06:48,064 --> 00:06:50,686
BZZZ...
189
00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:51,966
NICE ANTENNA.
190
00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:53,278
THANKS.
191
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,910
( sighs heavily )
192
00:06:54,912 --> 00:06:56,830
DO YOU HAVE A PEN
AND A FORM
193
00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:58,654
SO THAT I CAN
SPONSOR YOU?
194
00:06:58,656 --> 00:07:01,181
HARDLY.
I'M A BUMBLE BEE, NINNY.
195
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,916
SO HOW DO YOU
HOPE TO RAISE MONEY
FOR THE CHARITY?
196
00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:09,180
I MUST SAY,
I WAS WONDERING THAT MYSELF,
197
00:07:09,182 --> 00:07:13,309
BUT OURS IS NOT TO REASON WHY,
OURS IS BUT TO BUZZ AND FLY.
198
00:07:13,310 --> 00:07:14,364
BZZZ...
199
00:07:14,366 --> 00:07:16,603
JUST A HINT OF SANITY!
200
00:07:16,605 --> 00:07:18,875
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD,
HUGO.
201
00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:20,507
HELLO, FATHER...
WIBBLE.
202
00:07:20,509 --> 00:07:21,787
FATHER CLIFFORD.
203
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,835
FATHER CLIFFORD...WIBBLE.
204
00:07:23,837 --> 00:07:26,107
HUGO, YOU BEEN TAKIN'
THOSE LITTLE ASPIRINS
205
00:07:26,108 --> 00:07:28,603
WITH THE "E"
WRITTEN ON THE TOP?
206
00:07:28,605 --> 00:07:30,683
I'VE BEEN SPONSORED
FOR THE WHOLE DAY
TO SAY "WIBBLE"
207
00:07:30,685 --> 00:07:32,602
AT THE END
OF EVERY SENTENCE...
208
00:07:32,604 --> 00:07:33,978
WIBBLE.
209
00:07:33,979 --> 00:07:35,066
GOOD.
210
00:07:35,068 --> 00:07:36,761
BUZZ...BUZZ...
211
00:07:36,763 --> 00:07:38,841
HELLO, ALICE...
WIBBLE.
212
00:07:38,843 --> 00:07:40,282
HEH HEH HEH.
213
00:07:40,284 --> 00:07:41,657
SO TELL ME, FATHER,
214
00:07:41,659 --> 00:07:44,184
WHAT WOULD
THE CATHOLIC STANCE
BE HERE?
215
00:07:44,186 --> 00:07:46,553
WOULD IT BE MURDER
WHEN THE BRAIN'S ALREADY DEAD?
216
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:51,704
♪ STILL WATERS... ♪
217
00:07:51,706 --> 00:07:53,048
I TELL YA, CLIFFY,
218
00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:55,095
SOMETIMES I'D PREFER
TO BE CELIBATE.
219
00:07:55,097 --> 00:07:56,375
NO, REALLY.
220
00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,903
TAKE THIS, FOR INSTANCE,
ALL RIGHT.
221
00:07:58,905 --> 00:08:00,663
I BOUGHT THIS KISSING KIT.
222
00:08:00,665 --> 00:08:02,391
YOU SELL KISSES FOR CHARITY.
223
00:08:02,393 --> 00:08:05,079
AND I CAME OUT OF THE SHOP
AND THOUGHT, "WHO AM I FOOLING?"
224
00:08:05,081 --> 00:08:07,286
A VICAR CAN'T GO 'ROUND
ASKING HER PARISHIONERS
225
00:08:07,288 --> 00:08:08,246
TO KISS HER.
226
00:08:08,248 --> 00:08:09,462
EXACTLY.
227
00:08:09,464 --> 00:08:11,479
WHEREAS, IF YOU ASK ME,
228
00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:13,462
I'D SAY,
"OF COURSE. WHY NOT?"
229
00:08:14,776 --> 00:08:15,734
WOULD YOU?
230
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,326
OF COURSE. WHY NOT?
231
00:08:19,608 --> 00:08:20,789
RIGHT.
232
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,901
I MEAN...
IT IS FOR CHARITY.
233
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,789
AFTER ALL, ISN'T IT?
PRECISELY.
234
00:08:24,791 --> 00:08:26,709
VERY SIMPLE TRANSACTION.
235
00:08:26,711 --> 00:08:28,980
I GIVE YOU A QUID,
YOU GIVE ME A KISS.
236
00:08:28,982 --> 00:08:31,284
RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT
IT SAYS HERE. YEP.
237
00:08:31,286 --> 00:08:32,724
OH, UM...
238
00:08:32,726 --> 00:08:34,932
I HAVEN'T GOT
ANY POUND COINS,
239
00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:36,724
BUT I'VE GOT
A FIVER SOMEWHERE.
240
00:08:36,726 --> 00:08:38,515
OH...OH, DEAR.
241
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:39,635
TRAGEDY.
242
00:08:39,637 --> 00:08:42,451
I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE
AT ALL, I'M AFRAID.
243
00:08:42,452 --> 00:08:44,850
WELL, LET'S JUST
GO WITH THE FIVER.
244
00:08:44,852 --> 00:08:46,419
I MEAN...WHICH IS FINE!
245
00:08:46,421 --> 00:08:48,786
I MEAN, IT'S ALL
FOR A GOOD CAUSE.
246
00:08:48,788 --> 00:08:50,002
ABSOLUTELY!
247
00:08:50,004 --> 00:08:51,506
SO THAT'S £5,
THAT'S--
248
00:08:51,508 --> 00:08:53,682
£5, FIVE KISSES!
249
00:08:53,684 --> 00:08:55,537
FIVE--THAT'S FIVE KISSES.
250
00:08:55,539 --> 00:08:56,626
RIGHT. RIGHT.
251
00:08:56,628 --> 00:08:59,217
WELL, LET'S JUST GET
THE SHOW ON THE ROAD.
252
00:09:00,243 --> 00:09:01,873
ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO.
253
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,025
( clears throat )
254
00:09:03,027 --> 00:09:05,296
I'LL JUST DO...I'LL DO.
THERE'S THE FIRST ONE.
255
00:09:05,298 --> 00:09:06,704
THERE'S ANOTHER ONE.
256
00:09:09,554 --> 00:09:11,248
PERHAPS WE SHOULD
JUST, UM...
257
00:09:11,249 --> 00:09:13,232
TAKE A MORE
TRADITIONAL ROUTE NOW.
258
00:09:13,233 --> 00:09:14,864
RIGHT.
RIGHT.
259
00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:15,824
UM...
260
00:09:18,321 --> 00:09:20,270
OH, YOU'VE GOT
ANOTHER CHEEK!
261
00:09:21,296 --> 00:09:22,543
THERE...
262
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:25,070
I EXPECT YOU'VE GOT
TWO MORE CHEEKS, HAVEN'T YOU?
263
00:09:25,072 --> 00:09:26,638
PERHAPS NOT. NO.
264
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,109
OKAY, UM...
SO HOW MANY--
265
00:09:28,111 --> 00:09:29,518
FOUR.
266
00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,502
FOUR KISSES. THAT'S RIGHT.
267
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,709
SO THAT JUST LEAVES
THE ONE, THEN.
268
00:09:33,711 --> 00:09:35,501
J-JUST THE ONE KISS,
ISN'T IT?
269
00:09:35,503 --> 00:09:36,461
MM-HMM.
270
00:09:36,463 --> 00:09:38,381
RIGHT. AHEM.
271
00:09:38,383 --> 00:09:39,436
RIGHT.
272
00:09:44,591 --> 00:09:47,020
FATHER PETER CLIFFORD?!
273
00:09:47,022 --> 00:09:49,899
I SEE YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE, THEN?
274
00:09:49,901 --> 00:09:51,404
UH...UH...
275
00:09:51,406 --> 00:09:54,091
RIGHT. NOW THEN...
276
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,650
WHAT YOU ACTUALLY SAW THERE
IS INTERESTING
277
00:09:56,652 --> 00:09:58,826
THAT YOU SHOULD COME IN
RIGHT THEN, ACTUALLY,
278
00:09:58,828 --> 00:10:01,066
BECAUSE WHAT YOU SAW WAS US
RAISING MONEY FOR CHARITY.
279
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,538
UH, WE WERE KISSING THEN.
280
00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:04,074
UM, FOR AFRICA,
281
00:10:04,076 --> 00:10:06,378
AND THE HOMELESS PEOPLE,
282
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:07,946
AND--AND THAT'S TRUE.
283
00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:08,906
I SEE.
284
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:10,313
BY KISSING?
285
00:10:10,315 --> 00:10:11,977
YEAH. THAT'S--THAT'S RIGHT.
286
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,993
AND HOW MUCH DID YOU RAISE?
287
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:15,848
30 PIECES OF SILVER?
288
00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,257
£5.
289
00:10:17,259 --> 00:10:18,792
W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
290
00:10:18,794 --> 00:10:21,449
I'M ON A PUBLIC EXCHANGE.
I THOUGHT I'D SURPRISE YOU.
291
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,560
OBVIOUSLY I DID.
292
00:10:23,562 --> 00:10:26,632
SO, IT'S BYE-BYE,
BALLYKISSANGEL,
293
00:10:26,634 --> 00:10:28,872
AND, HELLO, BALLYSNOGVICAR.
294
00:10:28,874 --> 00:10:31,079
RIGHT.
295
00:10:31,081 --> 00:10:33,222
WELL, IT WAS NICE
TO MEET YOU...
296
00:10:33,224 --> 00:10:34,182
MADAME.
297
00:10:34,184 --> 00:10:35,559
AND AS FOR YOU,
298
00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:37,351
YOU'RE BARRED.
299
00:10:38,568 --> 00:10:39,655
AHH...
300
00:10:39,657 --> 00:10:42,118
I THINK
I'D BETTER
GO AFTER HER.
301
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:43,239
OH, I'M SORRY.
302
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,550
THERE'S YOUR FIVER.
303
00:10:44,552 --> 00:10:46,022
RIGHT.
OH, SORRY.
304
00:10:46,024 --> 00:10:47,462
ACTUALLY--
NO, HANG ON!
305
00:10:47,464 --> 00:10:49,094
THIS IS 20 QUID HERE.
306
00:10:49,096 --> 00:10:50,469
IS IT?
YES.
307
00:10:50,471 --> 00:10:53,733
THAT'S--THAT'S EASILY
£15 MORE THAN A FIVER.
308
00:10:53,735 --> 00:10:55,268
YEAH, UH...
309
00:10:55,270 --> 00:10:57,860
IT'S AN INTERESTING SITUATION.
310
00:10:57,862 --> 00:10:59,076
ISN'T IT?
311
00:10:59,078 --> 00:11:01,220
'CAUSE THAT'S QUITE
A LOT OF, UM...
312
00:11:01,222 --> 00:11:03,652
THAT I OWE YOU.
313
00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:04,995
RIGHT.
19640
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