All language subtitles for House.of.Lies.S01E12.The.Mayan.Apocalypse.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb

(classical music playing)

You can put the drinks down.
These are not
for you...

Put the fucking drinks down!

DOUG: Whoa.
Hey, hey, Jeannie.
Thank you.

Probably not a great idea
to be drinking tonight.

It's fucking over.
What? It's not over.

Oh, it's over.
No.

CLYDE:
Hey, what we need to do--

is we need to get hammered,

and we fuck the shit
out of some interns.
Okay.

Why are you so profane?

Can I get an imminent demise?
Imminent demise?

Oh, imminent demise?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
Can I get an imminent demise?

ALL:
Imminent demise!

(chanting): Imminent demise,
imminent demise...

Let it out.
...imminent demise...

Yeah.
Yeah.
...imminent demise.

Well, it's true.

They're taking us
from a top-tier

global consulting firm
to an in-house consulting group.

Which is bullshit-tonian

for cutting 15/16ths
of our workforce.

That ain't good.

And no matter
how you slice it...

...it's going to look
a little something like this.

(classical music plays)

(guns clicking)

(gunshots)

(rapid gunfire)

(yelling)

(guns clicking,
clips reloading)

(gunfire)

(machine gun firing)

Beautiful, man.
It's beautiful, man!

It's beautiful!

(gunfire continues)

Welcome to the new economy,
America.

Where only the richest, meanest,
and smartest will remain.

Including that motherfucker

who pulled a serious Judas
on my ass-- the Rainmaker.

Oh, yeah, out of all these mean,
smart fucknuts who survive,

I'm not one of them.

(pistol clicks)

(gunshot)

(cheering)

I don't think you really want
a recommendation from me,

no matter how glowing it is.

I got so many enemies, it'd be
like a death sentence anyway.

Right, but you would give me
a glowing reference, right?

(chuckles)
Yeah.

Might I get a hint as to...
as to what it might look like?

You got to stop.
Seriously.

What? Oh, come on.
No, one gets inquiries,

one wants to know
that one's references
are rock solid, right?

(chiming)
From whom did one get inquiries?

Oh, my God, no.

No, no, no, no.

Congratulations.
For what?

Clyde Oberholt has
just been named

in the 25 under 30
of management consultants.
Boom!

Yeah. I know, I'm as
shocked as you are.

The 25 most connected, highest
earning young consultants

in the business.
Young consultants
in the business.

You see? When you believe
in yourself.

Maybe I was too obvious a
choice. Is that possible?

JEANNIE:
Congratulations, Clyde.

Seriously.

Thank you, Jeannie.

One day for you,
you know that.
Good job, junior.

Thank you...
I appreciate it.

Straight out of Harvard,
right into Galweather.

Maybe that was my problem.
You know, the wunderkind thing.

I didn't have enough
of an underdog quality.

It's got to be
something in that.

Not Jewish, you know, not from
a second-tier school.

Whoa, anti-Semite,
why don't you take a chill

for one second, okay?

Are you kidding me?
Fucking pre-schoolers...

Who cares if Clyde just pledged

Sigma Chi?

We're on a plane,
it's on fire,

billowing smoke
coming out of the engines.

There's a gaping hole
in the cabin,

people being sucked out
to certain death.

So...?

Of course. S-stupid.

It's just I'm a people person.

No, no, buddy,
that's not your thing.

I'm not a people person, I get
that, but what about my numbers?

Would you fuck this
if you saw it?

Whoa.
Yeah, I know.

What, um...
Shark week.

Hi, sycophants.

Hi.
Just putting a bow
on my deliverables.

But you, you are the man

I have been
looking for.
Me?

Mm-hmm.
Oh, why?
Thank you... Huh?

Clyde Oberholt.

Oh, no.
Doug Guggenheim.

Oh, no, not you.

You.

That would be me.
Aha.
Yeah.

25 under 30, huh?

Hey, what can I say?
That is an honor.
It's very impressive.

How did we miss you
over at Kinsley?

You've actually met me,
like, 50 times.
Don't kill your moment

by making a lot of sounds.

Now, listen,
if your pod fails,

you should give
me a call.

Sure.

Is Marty in his office?

Uh-uh. Leave it open.

Oh, come on, let 'em talk.

It's not the talking I'm worried
about, Monica, it's the fucking.

No, it's not.

All you care about right now
is saving your own ass.

Okay, you got me.

Mm-hmm.

What do you got?

What's in it
for me?

Maybe you could roll over
on that custody battle.

Get the fuck out
of my office.

Joking. Jesus.

I mean, I was checking
a little bit.

Leads. Do you have
anything that I would want?

I may have something
you'd be interested in.

But what do you got?

I think you show me yours,
and then I show you mine.

BP is looking
at a top down.

Why is it that I haven't
heard about this yet?

Because I'm about
to close on the fucker

in two seconds, all right?

Deal.

Yes.

Okay?
What?

Oh, right, yes.

Galweather Stearn has a little
bit of a problem.

It's a genuine

pandemic of sexual harassment
and misconduct.

That's it?
That's it.

I traded BP top down
for some grab-ass

at Galweather Stearn?

Monica, every shop
has sexual misconduct.

Do you think I don't
know about ours?
Oh.

You know what, I'm going
to just get some boxes

and start collecting my shit.
Excuse me.

This is a real culture
of quid pro quo advancement

for sexual favors.

And your little boyfriend the
Rainmaker is the head fucker.

He will bang anything
with a snapper.

Yes. I'm well aware
of Marco's predilections.

Oh, that's okay.
You just take your time.

I don't need the machine
or anything like that.

Marty, we are talking
full-on sex addiction here.

High double digits.

Yeah?
These rumors, they have

a direct correlation between
business and sexual favors.

There's hush money, payoffs.

This could be one
sexy class action.

Ooh.

Are you getting horny?

Fuck, yeah. This harassment
talk just got me hot.

(door opening)

(door closes)

Hey, man.

Dad?
Yeah.

You fell asleep, bud.

It's okay.
I fell asleep because
I was waiting for you

to help me on my Mayans report.

Oh, yeah, the Mayans.
That's right. I remember.

I didn't let
Grandpa help me

because you said you would.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

It's just been real intense
at work lately, you know?

I know, but I have
intense times, too.

I know.

I'm going to help you
work on it tomorrow, okay?

That's a promise.

Come on, let's go to bed.

The Mayans believed that
the world would end in 2012.

What do you think?

The Mayans
were pretty smart.
Yeah?

You better rest up for
the Apocalypse then, huh?

MARTY: Every week
we waltz into companies

just like this one and tell
them how to fix their shit.

Well, this week it's us.

We're the case.

And we are nothing
special, ladies.

We are vulnerable to the
exigencies of the marketplace

just like any
other motherfuckers.

Now in the case
of Galweather Stearn

it has come to my attention

that there is a sexual
harassment element.

Sexual harassment?
Do tell, Obi Wan.

Certain senior partners have
been using their power

and considerable influence

to bang the hotter, younger
elements of the company

in exchange for
favorable advancement.

Now that's a big no-no.

Do you think K. Warren
is going to want

to pay the scrilla to untangle
some messy lawsuit?

No, sir.
Hell, no.

He's gonna back the fuck up.

So here's what we do:
we poison the well.

We bring a class action lawsuit.

We convince Metro Capital
to pull out of the deal.

Then we make this
lawsuit go away,

we sweeten the well back up,

and we get back to the business
of making big money.

That's the play.

I love that play.
How many women?

Or men. Hold on. Or men.
Men get harassed as well.

You wish.
MARTY: Yeah, well,
that's the rub.

Nobody wants to be
first to the dance floor.

I mean, who wants to be Patient
Zero in this case, right?

So what do we do?
Well...

first we have to find them,
and...

CLYDE: Once we find them,
we have to convince them

that stepping forward leads
to a shiny, happier life.

And they're going to get
some fuck-you money

out of the deal, too.
All right. Jeannie?

Let's do this.

Let's do it.
Okay.

DOUG:
Hey, Rachel...

You know what we haven't
spoken about in, like, forever?

Sexual assault.

CLYDE:
Hey, man, I got it from here.

You can go, it's just numbers.

What? What are you...?
We'll figure it out.

Start again. Um...

when a man loves
a woman... when...

I feel like we haven't
talked in so long,

this is so embarrassing.
You look good, by the way.

You been working out?
I'll see you, though.

DOUG:
Rumors are flying,

and, uh, I mean,
good-looking guy like you?

You're not immune.

So if anybody's hurt you,
or abused you...

You're with a friend.
Whoops! Okay.

...and I'll be here for you.

(indistinct conversations)

(laughs)
My brother from another mother!

Come on!
Hi, Greg.

Hey. This is, uh, Malina.

Check her out.

I went to the Jeannie store,
and I got me a good one.

Jeannie store? Wow.
That's right.

Malina teaches at a place called

Yoga Works, and...
(clears throat) Come on.

Yoga works, right?
Yes, it does.

Hi, Malina.
I'm Jeannie.
Hi.

Greg. You look
super casual.

Super casual.

Well, very astute, Jeannie.

I look casual, I feel casual,
and I'm out.

I am through with the banking

rat race. Good riddance.

And guess what?

I'm going to start
a little consulting firm

of my very own.
Wow.

Wow is right, because
"those who can't do, consult."

Right, Marty?

Right, Greg.
That's right.

Well, I'm sorry about
the whole merger thing.

K. Warren's going to
rip your company apart

in about 30 seconds.
He is a wicked warlock.

He'd cut your liver out
and eat it for breakfast.

But... moving on, huh?

Yoga, kite-boarding,

very young women...
right, Jeannie?
Malina.

That's Jeannie.
Malina.
Jeannie.

It's too bad you
missed your shot.

You could've been
by my side tonight.

Hey, you know what? You still
could. It's not too late.

What about... you two girls?
What do you say? We could...

No.
The three of us...

Greg, that is
a terrible idea.
But you gotta ask, though.

No.
I guess you gotta ask.

RAINMAKER (on microphone):
Hello, hello, hello?

Hello.

Galweather Stearn, AKA

Metro Capital's
Galweather Group!

(cheering)

The Galweather Group.

(men exclaiming, laughing)

You ever hear of ovophagy?

Sharks, in utero,

eat their own brothers
and sisters.

The strong survive.

Now, I know that
there's been a lot of

speculation about what the new
normal will be at Galweather,

once we have joined forces
with the most powerful

banking institution
in the country.

Well...

it's gonna be fan...

fucking...

tastic!

Yeah!
(applause, cheering)

Oh, and will there
be some reorgs?

Ohh...

Some counsel-outs?

Ohh...

Yeah, there will be.

But those of you who have
stayed the course,

you will be rewarded.

(laughs)

Because we stand by our own.

In fact, right now,

right now, our new CEO,

K. Warren McDale,

is on board his jet

to come here and personally
congratulate all of you,

on this...

...this very special night.

(applause)

None of these women
wants to be the first.

(sighs)

We just need one.

I'm telling you, one woman
comes forward, the floodgates--

phew-- open right up.

DOUG: Okay. I can't be the
only one wondering this.

By "dinner attire,"
do they mean black tie?

Because I can
never tell in LA.

At Harvard, "dinner attire,"
bam, black tie, you know.

Who fucking cares, Doug?
We're all getting fired.

Okay. Sure, but...

you at least want to get
the dress code right.

What's Wes wearing?

He's working.

Okay.

So, does anyone have any
job offers on the table?

Nope.
No?

Well, Jeannie's engaged
to Richie Rich,

so she doesn't even need
a job anymore, right?

JEANNIE:
Fuck you, Clyde.

So... any? No? Oh.
That's interesting.

(imitating Doug):
That's interesting.
Nobody? Anybody?

Do you want to tell us
something, Doug?

No, I... God, no.
I think that would be gauche.

But you're twisting my arm,
now I feel like I have to.

CLYDE:
I'm not.
Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't you guys get
back to fucking work?

Well, actually, you might
find this

interesting, Marty.
Not gonna find it
interesting, Doug.

Well, let's find out.
Uh, you guys ready for this?

Okay, I'm going to freestyle
here for a little bit,

so... just go with me. Uh...

I've actually gotten
a pretty sweet offer

from a river-rafting company

on the middle fork
of the Salmon River.

Oh, not the middle fork!

Fork, yeah. (laughs)

So for me, the timing
is kind of... perfect.

What about you, Mr. Popular?

I mean, how do I follow that?
I'll try. Um...

I have a very interesting bite
from Kinsley.

From Kinsley? Really?
Yeah.

And I'm architecting a few
financial instruments

that would make the entire
notion of work so 2012.

Fuck, damn it.
Fuck you, Clyde!
Oh, ho ho ho!

You're a fucking thief!
Is this Round Two?

Good idea.
All right.
Round Two!
Yeah, bring it!

I'm the architect of financial
instruments. Me, not you!

Are you going to start wearing
fucking sweater vests, now?

You wouldn't see me caught dead
in a fucking sweater vest.

Why? You stole everything
else from me!

Hey. Hey.
No, because I'm not...

I'm looking at this case.
We got dick.

We got less than dick.

You want to do
this shit right now?

You're all gonna be fine.

Everybody here.
Scarecrow...

Shithead Kinsley...
You too, Blondie.

I'm the one that's
gonna be fucked.

Why don't you shut the fuck up

and see if you can
find Norma Rae?

*

Oh, shit.

(sighs)

MARTY: Throwing it
back tonight, huh?

Yep.

Very drinky.

Yes. Very, very drinky.

Don't die, okay?

Marty...

Do you know why I'm good
at what I do, Jeannie?

I'm good...

because I read
people's behavior.

That's the only thing
that makes me different

than all these other jabonies.

I read behavior just a little
bit better than they do.

So you know what I mean when I
tell you I've been reading yours

for the past three days.

You think I don't know
that you sold out your team,

and your boss, and yourself?

You think I can't see
that gaping, sucking hole

in the middle of you
that you call a soul?

I got the same fucking one,
Jeannie, okay?

You're trying to fill it up by

sleeping with this
fucking prick?

Look, I'm not going to
blow you up, okay?

I'm not going to tell
you how to play it,

I'm not gonna burn
down your life,

I'm not gonna try to
fuck up your wedding.

But...

you did not do your
team any favors.

(classical music playing)

You going somewhere?

When you tell this story later,

make me sound good, okay?

(indistinct conversations)

(microphone feeds back)

I would like to make a toast...

to some of the women
at Galweather...

who, when they stand with me,

will indicate that they are part
of a class action lawsuit

against Metro Capital's
Galweather Group.

(chuckles)
Or whatever the fuck
it's called.

Most of whom have slept
with the Rainmaker;

(deep voice):
Marco Pelios...

(giggles)

our fearless leader... (laughs)

and, and quiet driver
of the hostile takeover.

Vroom-vroom. (laughs)

I know I did...

sleep with him.

(chuckles)

Especially when he promised

my fast rise to partner.

Didn't you all feel special,
too?

Ladies?

(murmuring)

(gasping and murmuring)

*

Oh, come on...

(chuckles)

So, dude, mad props for all
of this boning and betraying

while still managing to do
quite a bit of business.

(whistling)

You are Slutticus!

There's, like, 20 complainants.
(chuckles)

Yeah, it's a Fuckapalooza,
Kenny.

Oh, seriously, it's a
boner bonanza for the Rainmaker.

All right, yes, yes,
Greg, I hear you.

Two years of bad PR, at least.

It's a goddamn deal breaker.

Tell him to turn this
son of a bitch around!

He turned the plane around.

The merger's dead! Namaste!

(cheering)

(bouncy piano melody plays)

(sighs) It's stunning, really...

...how something as simple as
man's desire for pussy can undo

entire civilizations...

or even hostile takeovers.

Good-bye, you scary
motherfucker.

(clamoring)

Oh, Marty!

Gotta hand it to you, man.

You fucked me good.
No!

Oh, yes!
Marco, I did not
fuck you.

This is just getting even.

Oh!
Your daughter,
her I fucked good.

I think it was
pretty good.

She was screaming a lot.

Courtney? Rose tattoo
on her ass cheek?

Motherfucker...
There you go.

You son of a bitch mother...!
Oh, shit!

(glass breaking,
onlookers gasping)

Are you...?
We need to...

What?

Um...

Are you...?
Fuck.

(clears throat)
What?

I...
For me...

...have been feeling
very insecure.

Uh-huh.

Um, join six billion
other people.

I, uh...

I've been insecure
and... dishonest.

Oh, Christ, are we gonna
have one of these kinda
talks where every...?

And I... I have
been behaving badly.

Well, that-that doesn't sound
like a, uh, a good sign.

And I'm not ready
to get married.

Or be engaged,
or live with you.
Whoa-whoa-whoa! Oh. Wh...

Seriously?

But I really like being
with you.

"I like being with you"?

"I like being..."?

That's really sweet and all,

you know, your whole struggle
that you're going through.

Truthfully, for me,
I'm not that surprised by it.

I kind of always saw
you as my B plan.

Do we really think

that my parents were ever
gonna sign off on

a beauty queen runner-up
from Spokane?

My family owns
a fucking baseball team.

That's what they do for fun.

Your family...

Right.

So fuck you...

and your little
existential problems.

Don't sell yourself short.

Oh, I...
I was your A plan.

And I messed up.

Hey.

(sighs)

It's a crazy-ass
night, man.

You going somewhere?

Where's Roscoe?

He went to stay
with his mother.

He didn't mention anything
to me about a sleepover.

No, Marty,

he went to stay with Monica...

for the foreseeable future.

What'd he...?
Did he say something to you?

He said... you made him feel
like the Mayans were right.

Well, I don't give a shit, okay?

She can't just take him, Dad.

She can't. We haven't even had
the custody hearing yet.

No, no, Marty, she
didn't take him.

He went.

Well, he can't.

He can't.

I don't give a...
He can't fucking do that.

I'm-I'm gonna get
a court order.
Marty.

What?

You gotta let him play
this one out.

You got to.

I'm gonna go, uh...

...spend some time at my condo,

give you some
space, hmm?

Dad...

I don't want space.

Yeah, well...

I'm gonna give you
some anyway.

I'm sorry, son.

(door opens, shuts)

So you blew up your
life for the job, huh?

You blow up your life every day
for the job.

That's true, I guess.

Does that mean one day
I'll be like you?

(chuckles)
One day.

Girl, you are
already like me.

Well, I'm gonna take
that as a compliment,

knowing what a high
opinion you have
of yourself.

How else
could you take it?

(both laugh)

DOUG:
Hey-hey-hey!

Hey-hey-hey!
Are we doing shots?

Who wants to do
some shots?

Shots, shots, shots.

To the blower-uppers.

To the motherfucking
blower-uppers.

Come on.
Pour me one.

*

* I'm back where I belong,
yeah *

* I never felt so strong,
yeah, I'm back *

* I feel like there's nothing
I can't try *

* And if you with me,
put your hands high *

* "A House Is Not a Home,"
I hate this song *

* Is a house really a home
when your loved ones is gone? *

* So you been a guest
in your own home *

* It's time to make your house
your own *

* Pick up the phone, come on

* I'm coming home,
I'm coming home *

* Tell the world
that I'm coming home *
* I'm coming home

* Let the rain wash away
all the pain of yesterday *

* I know my kingdom awaits

* And they've forgiven
my mistakes *
* Thank you

* I'm coming home
* I'm coming home

* I'm coming home
* I'm coming home

* Tell the world
that I'm coming home *

* I'm almost home,
check this out, yeah. *
* Home.

Meow.