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00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:12,424
Uh, what'd he say?
4
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:16,970
I said, "With luck, you will tell us
how this incredible condition occurred."
5
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,972
Oh, yeah, sure thing. I'll
be glad to let you know.
6
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:22,101
But let's get this over with
first. I can tell you later, huh?
7
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,402
What? What?
8
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:35,989
Well, they insist, in
the interest of medical science,
9
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,992
that you tell us now.
10
00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:42,246
Yeah. Okay.
11
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,184
I might as well
start at the beginning.
12
00:02:45,291 --> 00:02:48,127
My name is Dobbs. Fred C. Dobbs.
13
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:51,422
I own and operate a fishing
charter boat out of Boca Negra, Chile.
14
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,604
Oh, Karlotta! Oh, Karlotta!
15
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,147
Help, Karlotta!
16
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,943
Help, Karlotta, help!
17
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,989
Help, Karlotta!
18
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,992
Help!
19
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:23,996
Help me!
20
00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:29,627
Help me!
21
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,462
Let me get in there.
22
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,174
I'm very ticklish.
23
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:43,432
Help! Help! Help, Karlotta!
24
00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:46,810
Well, not all my charters
ended up that way.
25
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:50,522
Well, anyhow, there I was,
two weeks short of 40,
26
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:55,945
made my last installment payment
on my 50-foot twin diesel beauty,
27
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,905
and I was having a ball.
28
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:01,033
But things weren't always that good.
29
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,160
Last year
30
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,871
things were lousy.
31
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:18,801
Morning, dear.
32
00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:23,681
Hi, Pop!
33
00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:18,569
Good morning, Daddy dear.
34
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:52,978
Nancy!
35
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:13,123
Here it is, the little old
money-maker, Granite Life and Casualty.
36
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,293
"Firm as a rock,"
and just as friendly.
37
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,545
But it was my home away from home.
38
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,508
Five days a week, 9:00 to 5:00
every week, 50 weeks a year.
39
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:27,012
And each day of each week, my
office... Huh! An office, I called it.
40
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:30,516
My office got smaller
and smaller and smaller,
41
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,559
and all because of pressure.
42
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:36,105
I hated the phone, but I
had to make my daily calls.
43
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,607
Even though people
I called were never in.
44
00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:42,319
And when they did return
my calls, they weren't in.
45
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,947
And, ah, yes, my secretary.
46
00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:46,615
Did I have a secretary!
47
00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:50,953
A 99 and 44 one-hundredths
percent pure winner.
48
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:54,123
She had to have studied
with the Baltimore Colts.
49
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:58,669
And no matter how hard I prayed
each day, she still showed up.
50
00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,963
How can I explain how
frustrated she made me?
51
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:05,008
I know. Did you ever try putting
an oyster in a parking meter?
52
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:09,096
At last, fresh air.
53
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,975
Well, that's the way it was.
54
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:18,647
Monday through Friday, as well as
Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
55
00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:21,024
Same old routine every day.
56
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:25,362
But at least Saturday was worse.
57
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,754
Hey, knock it off!
We're trying to sleep here!
58
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:46,008
Every time you come, you
knock over the kid with a bike!
59
00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:48,218
You ding-a-ling dummy, you!
60
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,948
Oh, you would, would you?
61
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:54,701
- Here, Sam. Here, Sam.
- Come on, Sam.
62
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,745
Come here, Sam. Come on, Sam.
63
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:58,705
Come on, Sam. Here, Sam.
64
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,793
Pete, that silly old sink
is stopped up again.
65
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,059
Lousy stopped-up sink.
66
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:14,990
I was just going to do that.
67
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,971
Well, it looks like they're bringing
in a pinch-hitter for Weiscarver.
68
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,325
With bases loaded, two out,
Pelicans trailing by three runs,
69
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,184
it better be their
big gun. And it is.
70
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,071
They're bringing in Harla-Brew,
and if anyone can do it, Big Jim can.
71
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:48,440
He stands up to the plate,
Swanson rubs the ball, and he's ready.
72
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:51,818
He's on the mound, gets the signal
from Tacheberry, and here's the pitch...
73
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,704
...by far the longest ball I've
ever seen in all my years in baseball!
74
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:04,432
So that makes it
a four to three ballgame,
75
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:05,623
thanks to Big Jim Harla-Brew,
76
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:08,210
and to the most exciting
grand-slam homer of all time!
77
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:12,297
Tune in again
tomorrow for another exciting edition
78
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,634
of the fun show, Date Your Ex-Wife.
79
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:16,968
Nancy!
80
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,972
Ah-ha! You got the remotes.
81
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:23,600
We were only playing.
82
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,247
Pete, do you mind if I take the
children to the market with me?
83
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,314
No, as a matter of fact, they
could use some air. Sure. Fine.
84
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:31,483
Take them out. NANCY: Okay.
85
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:34,986
Take, take them right with
you, dear. See you later.
86
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,323
Sell 'em.
87
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,445
Why can't you do your chores first
and then play Old Man and the Sea?
88
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,131
But, honey, you don't
understand... Oh, never mind.
89
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,407
Just bring in the groceries.
90
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,744
But don't you want to
help me, uh, pull...
91
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,683
Oh, Sam. All right,
all right. Good boy.
92
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,940
Jennifer, Jimmy, get off of
that bed! And straighten it up.
93
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,068
Here, dear.
94
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:59,321
Oh, thank you, honey.
95
00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,156
You know, I hate going tonight.
96
00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,949
You're not alone.
97
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,578
Well, let's not.
I hate Larry Heath.
98
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:10,499
Larry Heath hates you worse
and he came to our barbeque party.
99
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,460
Yeah, I guess you're right.
100
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,588
That's the baby-sitter.
101
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,509
I'll be right down, dear.
102
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,759
Hi, Mrs. Hardtack.
Hi, Mrs. Hardtack.
103
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,206
Hi. Good evening, Mrs. Hardtack.
104
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,971
Put your shoes on.
105
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,932
Pete, hurry up!
106
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,893
In a minute.
107
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,979
We're only gonna
be gone until midnight.
108
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,692
Can we watch a Western tonight?
109
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,944
We don't want any old
Western. Yes, we do.
110
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,863
Do not! You'll
watch what I watch.
111
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,948
...first in a
series of major motion pictures.
112
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,576
I left the phone number and
address right here, just in case.
113
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:30,954
Mmm-hmm. Well, I'll call you if
anything happens, just in case.
114
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,373
Hi, Mrs. Hardtack.
Good night, Jennifer.
115
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,684
Good night. Good night, Jimmy.
116
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,960
Good night, Mommy.
Good night, Jenny.
117
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,980
Good night, Jimmy. Don't forget
to bring us home something.
118
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:40,380
Would you please cool it?
119
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,049
...all brought
to you by Dr. Liston, Credit Dentist.
120
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:47,554
Fill now, pay later. And nowfor our film, They Dare Not Love,
121
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,599
starring George Brent
and Roddy McDowall.
122
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,977
Presented by Ron
Mangiacavallo, Lincoln Mercury.
123
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:58,231
Furthermore, Helen,
we have to be adults about this.
124
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,192
- No matter how hard it becomes.
- I know that, Jeff.
125
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,695
But each day seems to
bring more and more hardship.
126
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,864
Just how much can a mother bear?
127
00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:08,426
Now, there you go again. Only thinkingof yourself. Hello, Mrs. Hardtack.
128
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,951
That's nice.
129
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,704
Did everything
go all right? Right.
130
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:16,666
Did the children go
to bed early? Uh-huh.
131
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,835
Well, good night. Good night.
132
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,880
MAN: I hope so. WOMAN:
Oh, don't be trite, Jeff.
133
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:23,715
It really isn't becoming.
134
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,216
I don't mean to be trite,
135
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,844
but I do mean to stop you from
the constant, ever-repeating,
136
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,429
"How much can a mother bear?"
137
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,972
Well, why does that upset you so?
138
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,850
I have a right to have
a mother's feelings.
139
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,976
Well, sure you do, but
wait until we have a kid first.
140
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:38,772
Well, if you're going to
pick on every little thing...
141
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:41,399
Hey! I didn't see
the finish yet.
142
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,044
It's getting very late,
Mrs. Hardtack.
143
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,988
It's probably the same
old finish. Boy gets girl.
144
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,381
It was probably the butler who
was the murderer, too. Here you are.
145
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,157
There wasn't any murder.
146
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:52,661
Well, wait till next week.
Nice seeing you, bye-bye.
147
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,942
Forgive me, Senor, but
you handled that very poorly.
148
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,153
I did? ALL: Oh, si, si.
149
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,949
I would have reversed the procedure.
150
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:59,162
Let her pay the baby-sitter. Lock the
door. Forget about the club soda and...
151
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:02,332
And get into bed first?
Exactamente.
152
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,334
That's exactamente what I did.
153
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,044
And? And...
154
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:10,131
Help us to overcome life's pitfalls,
155
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,009
unpredictabilities,
156
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:17,514
and be more likely
candidates for your gifts.
157
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,933
We're home, Mrs. Hardtack. Oh.
158
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,100
Everything go all right?
159
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,394
Right. Did the children
go to bed early?
160
00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,898
Good night. Night.
161
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,960
Oh, it's late, Mrs. Hardtack.
162
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:50,255
Yes, kind of late. He's
an awfully nice clergyman.
163
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:53,258
Oh, isn't he, though? Yeah, he
gives the sweetest good night prayer.
164
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,468
Always puts me to
sleep. Oh, thank you.
165
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,155
Say, that was awful
good candy tonight.
166
00:18:57,262 --> 00:18:59,097
Oh, I'm so glad you liked it.
167
00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:02,392
We'll see you next Saturday.
Bye. Fine. Anytime. Bye.
168
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:45,930
Oh, a misfortune, Senor.
A veritable misfortune.
169
00:21:49,767 --> 00:21:51,853
Well, if you think Saturdays were bad,
170
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,688
let me tell you about Sundays.
171
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:24,927
Is that you, dear?
172
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,431
Good morning,
Mommy. Good morning, Daddy.
173
00:22:28,598 --> 00:22:31,309
Oh. Look out, darling.
Good morning, Sam.
174
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:32,894
Good morning. Sam, down.
175
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:34,061
Hello, baby. Down. Sit.
176
00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,789
Good morning, Daddy.
Good morning, sweetheart.
177
00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:39,067
Sam. Sam, down Yeah,
good Sam. Wait, Sam.
178
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:40,294
Lean over...
Could you roll over?
179
00:22:40,318 --> 00:22:43,988
Sam, you're... Most of your
weight is on most of my stuff. Sam.
180
00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:45,907
That's the way it goes.
181
00:22:46,074 --> 00:22:48,659
No, don't... Just... Yeah.
182
00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:49,994
Uh, Jennifer, pull...
183
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:56,459
Jennifer, dear, I want
you to practice the scales.
184
00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:58,002
Yes, Mommy.
185
00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:00,797
That's very good, Jimmy.
186
00:23:02,006 --> 00:23:03,341
Here, dear.
187
00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:08,846
Nancy Ingersoll,
188
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:11,182
you're a homemaker extraordinaire.
189
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,976
Perfect wife,
190
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:15,978
perfect mother,
191
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:18,439
very attractive,
192
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:23,778
cheerful, understanding
and very, very practical.
193
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:25,613
Very.
194
00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:27,949
You balance our checkbook every month,
195
00:23:28,116 --> 00:23:30,243
you never dent the car fenders.
196
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:33,037
You buy two for 25
instead of one for 13.
197
00:23:34,997 --> 00:23:38,376
114 dollars and 93 cents to Granite
Life and Casualty every month.
198
00:23:38,543 --> 00:23:41,295
How do you do it?
It's in the budget.
199
00:23:41,462 --> 00:23:43,506
150,000 dollars worth.
200
00:23:43,673 --> 00:23:45,109
And if anything were to happen to me,
201
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,468
you and the children
would be well provided for.
202
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:49,303
Well, you can't very
well argue with that.
203
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:50,971
You're in the business yourself.
204
00:23:50,972 --> 00:23:54,100
You can't very well
argue with anything you do.
205
00:23:54,267 --> 00:23:56,602
You're the top wife of all time.
206
00:24:05,528 --> 00:24:08,364
May the top wife of
all time say something?
207
00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:12,118
Speak.
208
00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:15,496
Are you planning to go fishing again?
209
00:24:16,414 --> 00:24:19,208
Huh? Are you planning
to go fishing again?
210
00:24:20,626 --> 00:24:24,130
Oh! Oh, uh, yeah,
I was thinking about it.
211
00:24:24,297 --> 00:24:26,007
Well, let's get one thing straight.
212
00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:28,176
You're the boss,
you're the breadwinner,
213
00:24:28,342 --> 00:24:32,263
you're the head of the family,
and your decision is final.
214
00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:34,390
Now I'm really in trouble.
215
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:38,561
I hate to point out the
following hard facts to you.
216
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:41,397
Skip the side dishes
and get to the meat.
217
00:24:43,441 --> 00:24:47,987
These Sunday fishing
excursions of yours are costing us
218
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:51,365
eight dollars a mackerel.
219
00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:56,245
After they've been filleted
and shrink from cooking,
220
00:24:56,412 --> 00:25:01,417
they assay in at 1.85 an ounce.
That's roughly the price of silver.
221
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:04,962
Yeah, but the kids love it,
and it's good for them.
222
00:25:05,129 --> 00:25:07,215
They hate it. Don't you, kids?
223
00:25:07,381 --> 00:25:09,550
Yes, Mother! Yes, Mother!
224
00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:10,760
They hate it.
225
00:25:10,927 --> 00:25:13,487
Would you like to know how much
it cost to take them last Sunday?
226
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:15,972
No. But I'm sure you'll tell me.
227
00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:19,393
It was five dollars for
you on the half-day boat,
228
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,979
2.50 apiece for the kids,
229
00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:26,984
1.75 to rent a pole for Jimmy.
230
00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:31,989
How much did it cost
to replace the dead bait?
231
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,493
Thirty-five dollars?
232
00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:39,455
You're not under oath, but
would you like to try for 50?
233
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:40,957
Yeah, 50.
234
00:25:41,123 --> 00:25:44,168
That means it was more,
but we'll settle for 50.
235
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:48,923
I just can't understand how you
let Jennifer toss up her breakfast
236
00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:53,511
in the live bait tank. I mean, the whole
Pacific Ocean was only three feet away.
237
00:25:53,678 --> 00:25:56,973
I was busy removing
a hook from Jimmy's thumb.
238
00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:59,767
7.50 for the tetanus shot.
239
00:26:00,643 --> 00:26:02,979
That's 69 dollars and 25 cents.
240
00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:07,483
I know, honey, but it's good
for me. Look how healthy I am.
241
00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,086
That reminds me.
Speaking of healthy,
242
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:11,470
you have your doctor's appointment
tomorrow morning at 9:00.
243
00:26:43,978 --> 00:26:47,356
This testing jazz again. You
know, this makes four times?
244
00:26:47,523 --> 00:26:51,027
I wouldn't be doing it if I
didn't think it was necessary.
245
00:26:51,193 --> 00:26:52,903
All right, Suzy.
246
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:56,490
Get your clothes on
and come in the office.
247
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:07,710
Pete, the heart is a muscle.
248
00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:12,506
It has valves that open
and close to let in the blood.
249
00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:17,470
It's very similar to your car.
Your car engine has valves.
250
00:27:17,637 --> 00:27:20,973
Open, close, open, close, open, close.
251
00:27:35,863 --> 00:27:38,783
You have an arterial
coronary malfunction.
252
00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:46,290
Look, I've checked, rechecked and...
253
00:27:46,457 --> 00:27:47,917
And what?
254
00:27:53,631 --> 00:27:56,425
Pete, that's the way
these things happen.
255
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:59,970
One minute you're fine,
and the next...
256
00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:07,186
Well, isn't there something
you can do? I mean...
257
00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:11,941
Nobody knows as much
about doctor stuff as you do.
258
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:15,861
I mean, what about the heart
transplant. Isn't that very popular now?
259
00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:19,824
Pete, you don't get a heart
transplant from a Spiegel catalogue.
260
00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:21,158
Maybe later.
261
00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:22,993
Later?
262
00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:29,250
Maybe.
263
00:28:29,417 --> 00:28:31,961
What you need right now
is complete bed rest.
264
00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:35,339
An intensive care setup.
For how long?
265
00:28:38,342 --> 00:28:40,553
I really can't tell, not yet.
266
00:28:42,430 --> 00:28:44,265
Well, Scott, can't you tell me...
267
00:28:44,432 --> 00:28:47,101
How long do I have to live?
268
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:55,234
Come, sit down. Just sit down.
269
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:03,617
Well, like I asked you, how long?
270
00:29:05,995 --> 00:29:07,121
Months.
271
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,042
Months?
272
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:17,882
Suzy, bring in a couple of Libriums
and a glass of water, please.
273
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:23,262
Oh, I hate being a doctor right now.
274
00:29:23,429 --> 00:29:26,599
I'd be very happy to
swap with you right now.
275
00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:32,313
Those are for me.
276
00:29:39,570 --> 00:29:41,947
Cancel all the appointments
for the rest of the day.
277
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:44,116
Mrs. Godfrey? All appointments.
278
00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:56,504
You're a lousy friend, pulling
something like this on me.
279
00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:07,556
Where are you going?
280
00:30:09,058 --> 00:30:13,562
I'm going home, to break
the tragic news to my wife.
281
00:30:13,729 --> 00:30:16,774
About the terrible thing
I'm doing to my doctor.
282
00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:28,994
I'm sure glad you made me
take out that insurance policy.
283
00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:33,165
You and the kids will
never be a public charge.
284
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:38,003
With 150,000 dollars, that'll
see both kids through college.
285
00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:41,465
And their friends.
286
00:30:41,632 --> 00:30:45,970
Jokes,
Pete? Jokes, now?
287
00:30:48,097 --> 00:30:49,557
I'm sorry.
288
00:31:00,150 --> 00:31:02,653
Where are they going?
289
00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:04,905
To sleep over next door.
290
00:31:06,657 --> 00:31:07,992
Here, honey.
291
00:31:21,422 --> 00:31:24,800
I'll cut expenses all around.
292
00:31:25,676 --> 00:31:27,469
Sell the house,
293
00:31:28,053 --> 00:31:29,972
get an apartment,
294
00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:33,100
probably get a job.
295
00:31:35,102 --> 00:31:36,812
How about you?
296
00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,983
How about me? I just
told you how about me.
297
00:31:42,985 --> 00:31:45,446
How are we going to spend the time?
298
00:31:47,656 --> 00:31:49,450
The time I have left?
299
00:31:52,161 --> 00:31:55,623
Well, you know those
one-a-day brand vitamin tablets?
300
00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:58,459
Don't buy the economy size.
301
00:31:58,626 --> 00:32:01,378
And you might as well
cancel my subscription
302
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:04,566
to the Book-Of-The-Month Club. I'm gonna
have to learn to read short stories.
303
00:32:04,590 --> 00:32:06,670
Do you know what you're
doing to me and the children?
304
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,804
Well, I meant no harm, dear.
It's just that I've never died before.
305
00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:15,517
What was your question? Oh,
yeah, what am I going to do?
306
00:32:16,644 --> 00:32:18,978
Oh, I don't know.
307
00:32:18,979 --> 00:32:21,981
Probably go down to the
office and clean up things there.
308
00:32:21,982 --> 00:32:25,235
The office? Who cares
about the office?
309
00:32:25,402 --> 00:32:29,198
What has the office ever done
for you, except overwork you?
310
00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:32,993
Pete,
311
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:40,501
the following words are not the
mouthings of a hysterical woman.
312
00:32:42,086 --> 00:32:45,172
Why don't you go fishing?
313
00:32:45,339 --> 00:32:49,009
Go fishing? Did you
say, "Go fishing"?
314
00:32:50,594 --> 00:32:53,931
I don't mean the half-day boat out
of Malibu Pier, I mean real fishing.
315
00:32:54,098 --> 00:32:55,933
Like you've always wanted.
316
00:32:56,100 --> 00:32:58,310
The Caribbean.
The Mediterranean.
317
00:32:59,812 --> 00:33:04,108
Sure, I'd love to have you here,
especially these last few weeks together.
318
00:33:05,109 --> 00:33:07,403
I've been so selfish about you.
319
00:33:07,987 --> 00:33:11,949
I could kick myself for every
time I've deprived you of fishing.
320
00:33:12,116 --> 00:33:15,828
Oh, Pete, please, get the
best tackle. Fly first-class,
321
00:33:15,995 --> 00:33:18,205
where the fishing's best, anywhere.
322
00:33:18,956 --> 00:33:22,334
Oh, Granite Life and
Casualty will really love that.
323
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:26,672
Take a leave of absence.
Eat, fish, drink and be merry.
324
00:33:26,839 --> 00:33:29,758
That's sounds marvelous, honey,
but where am I going to get the money?
325
00:33:29,925 --> 00:33:31,593
Where's your wallet?
326
00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:33,846
Right here.
327
00:33:35,806 --> 00:33:37,641
Granite Life and Casualty,
that's where.
328
00:33:37,808 --> 00:33:40,936
Diners Club, Carte
Blanche, Global Express.
329
00:33:41,103 --> 00:33:42,855
You can sign yourself
onto any airlines.
330
00:33:43,022 --> 00:33:45,399
You can go into any hotel,
any restaurant.
331
00:33:45,566 --> 00:33:47,359
You can buy out the best men's shops.
332
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:50,446
You can charter a boat even,
and hire a crew.
333
00:33:51,989 --> 00:33:53,741
You're serious?
334
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:54,992
Yeah.
335
00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:02,082
You're really serious.
336
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:04,001
I'm really serious.
337
00:34:05,002 --> 00:34:09,005
Okay, my administrative genius,
what happens when the bills come in?
338
00:34:09,006 --> 00:34:10,924
Pete, sit down.
339
00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:13,093
Peter, just sit down and relax.
340
00:34:14,094 --> 00:34:16,013
Feel all right, dear?
Yeah, I'm fine.
341
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,974
Well, you see, when the
bills come back from overseas,
342
00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:20,975
it'll take at least
two or three months...
343
00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:23,729
Hold it. Hold it, Nancy.
They'll collect it from you.
344
00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:26,190
You're going to have 150,000 big ones.
345
00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:29,693
No. No, because it'll look
as if you deserted us.
346
00:34:29,860 --> 00:34:31,737
You were under great emotional stress.
347
00:34:31,904 --> 00:34:34,073
Your doctor can testify to that.
348
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,951
You just weren't responsible
for what you were doing.
349
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:41,747
Granite Life is not about
to take this lying down.
350
00:34:41,914 --> 00:34:43,957
Granite Life doesn't have much choice.
351
00:34:44,124 --> 00:34:45,918
They spend millions
of dollars every year
352
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:48,962
saying that they're, "The
insurance company that's all heart."
353
00:34:49,129 --> 00:34:51,969
Now are they going to persecute a
bereaved widow with two small children
354
00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:54,176
just for a few thousand dollars?
355
00:34:54,343 --> 00:34:56,386
It'd be a terrible public image.
356
00:34:56,553 --> 00:35:00,808
Besides, you're only charging it
to Granite, and they owe you a lot.
357
00:35:02,559 --> 00:35:04,311
I don't know, Nancy.
358
00:35:07,689 --> 00:35:09,108
I don't know.
359
00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,904
But, Pete, what have you got to lose?
360
00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:16,949
Well, she had me there.
361
00:35:25,582 --> 00:35:27,167
See, darling? I'm all set.
362
00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:29,628
You've nothing to worry about.
363
00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:34,424
Nancy, you think of everything.
364
00:36:04,621 --> 00:36:06,248
Do you take those?
365
00:36:31,982 --> 00:36:35,402
And this has always
been here? Where have I been?
366
00:36:35,986 --> 00:36:38,113
In suburbia, that's where.
367
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,991
But I'm not there now, and
I plan to take full advantage
368
00:36:41,158 --> 00:36:47,873
of the tropic days, tropic nights,
tropic water and tropic prices,
369
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,667
Carte Blanche style.
370
00:37:37,214 --> 00:37:39,007
Help!
371
00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:42,010
Hang on, sir, I'm coming!
372
00:38:09,997 --> 00:38:13,417
Why don't you try
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
373
00:38:14,001 --> 00:38:15,794
Jolly good idea.
374
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:46,033
I'm coming around now.
I think a few more.
375
00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:55,459
That last one was... Yeah,
I'm fine now. Thank you.
376
00:38:57,502 --> 00:38:58,962
I'm really fine.
377
00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,149
You sure you're all right?
Yes, I'm just fine, thank you.
378
00:39:01,173 --> 00:39:03,967
Fine. Take care. Thank
you. Yes, I appreciated
379
00:39:04,134 --> 00:39:05,469
all your help.
380
00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:13,977
Help!
381
00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:43,840
Now this was living.
Although the lifeguard wasn't bad.
382
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,178
The guys on the half-day
boat should see me now.
383
00:39:48,345 --> 00:39:51,973
It's exhausting for my
condition, but I feel pretty good.
384
00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:56,019
I think I feel pretty good.
Yeah, I feel okay.
385
00:39:57,437 --> 00:39:59,356
I think I feel okay.
386
00:40:01,983 --> 00:40:04,611
Oh, you have rhythm
most natural, Senor.
387
00:40:04,778 --> 00:40:08,365
Thank you very much.
You sure have rhythm yourself.
388
00:40:08,532 --> 00:40:10,992
Well, should be.
I'm dance teacher.
389
00:40:12,452 --> 00:40:14,538
Oh. Oh, you're
the dance teacher.
390
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:15,914
Si. Oh, I see.
391
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:05,964
They told me there was
great fishing in Brazil.
392
00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:11,845
And coffee, and fishing,
Cesar Romero, and fishing.
393
00:41:46,213 --> 00:41:47,964
We will be landing
in Kingston, Jamaica,
394
00:41:48,131 --> 00:41:50,050
in a matter of minutes,
ladies and gentlemen.
395
00:41:50,217 --> 00:41:54,179
Please stay in your seats until we have
been cleared by the Jamaica Immigrations.
396
00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:55,680
Thank you.
397
00:42:55,031 --> 00:42:56,950
May I take your order, please?
398
00:42:57,117 --> 00:42:59,244
Oh, yes.
399
00:43:00,996 --> 00:43:03,623
I'll start with
the French Turtle Soup,
400
00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:06,960
then the Caribbean Red Snapper,
401
00:43:07,127 --> 00:43:08,712
Austrian boar garni
402
00:43:08,878 --> 00:43:10,046
and a Pepsi.
403
00:43:12,007 --> 00:43:14,759
Uh, you are on Global Express?
404
00:43:14,926 --> 00:43:15,926
Yes, sir.
405
00:43:16,011 --> 00:43:17,053
Splendid.
406
00:45:07,997 --> 00:45:09,958
Heart attack?
407
00:45:10,125 --> 00:45:13,336
Heartburn. Just plain heartburn.
408
00:45:13,503 --> 00:45:16,965
Chew on a couple of these
and stay away from the rich food.
409
00:45:17,132 --> 00:45:19,592
Oh. Thank you very
much, Doctor, for coming.
410
00:45:19,759 --> 00:45:22,679
I certainly appreciate it.
Glad to be of help.
411
00:45:23,805 --> 00:45:27,016
Oh, uh, Mr. Bradley, we can put
the doctor's fee on my bill, can't we?
412
00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:30,186
Of course, sir. Will
there be anything else?
413
00:45:30,353 --> 00:45:33,148
No, except, uh,
in case of an emergency,
414
00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:36,067
you can put my funeral
on Carte Blanche, right?
415
00:45:48,538 --> 00:45:50,999
It wasn't very funny.
I meant it.
416
00:45:51,166 --> 00:45:54,210
You gave up fishing and
concentrated on dancing?
417
00:45:54,586 --> 00:45:56,004
Not a chance.
418
00:45:56,171 --> 00:45:59,883
I heard there was a huge
school of tuna boiling off of.
419
00:46:00,049 --> 00:46:01,634
Southern Portugal.
420
00:46:32,207 --> 00:46:35,835
Picturesque Portugal, by the sea.
421
00:46:36,002 --> 00:46:40,632
A beautiful country, with
marvelous, hardworking people,
422
00:46:41,216 --> 00:46:43,635
who work primarily with fish.
423
00:46:43,802 --> 00:46:45,595
A very big fish export.
424
00:46:46,179 --> 00:46:48,306
And if you think fish smells,
425
00:46:48,473 --> 00:46:50,850
wait till you hear
the rest of this story.
426
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:52,435
It's a dilly.
427
00:47:03,530 --> 00:47:04,948
I took over the local pub.
428
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:06,991
Drinks were on me and Global Express.
429
00:47:11,454 --> 00:47:13,456
Senor, your telephone.
430
00:47:13,623 --> 00:47:17,961
Your call to Los Angeles,
your wife, she no answer, Senor.
431
00:47:18,127 --> 00:47:19,671
Oh. Oh, okay.
432
00:47:19,838 --> 00:47:22,757
Fine. Thank you. Thanks.
She don't answer. Okay.
433
00:47:22,924 --> 00:47:26,261
Miss Freitas, do you really
think I have natural rhythm?
434
00:47:33,434 --> 00:47:35,979
Now just as a point of information,
435
00:47:36,271 --> 00:47:39,941
do you think Portuguese
brandy is any stronger than ours?
436
00:47:41,776 --> 00:47:44,028
I would assume it's about the same.
437
00:47:44,195 --> 00:47:45,947
It can't be.
438
00:47:46,114 --> 00:47:47,824
Take my word for it.
439
00:52:40,950 --> 00:52:42,785
Okay, wiseacre,
440
00:52:43,995 --> 00:52:49,208
get ready for a power-packed
contest of superhuman strength.
441
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:57,925
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
442
00:53:46,015 --> 00:53:47,433
You ringer.
443
00:53:57,068 --> 00:53:59,695
Scott... Scotty!
444
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:03,950
Hello, Pete. Well, what
are you doing here?
445
00:54:04,116 --> 00:54:05,910
Well, I was going...
446
00:54:22,468 --> 00:54:24,178
Come on, old buddy.
447
00:54:24,845 --> 00:54:27,139
I'll get you outside
before you ignite.
448
00:54:27,306 --> 00:54:29,558
Couple of deep breaths
will do you good.
449
00:54:29,725 --> 00:54:32,853
No, Scotty, better than that,
let me just get some fresh air.
450
00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:35,314
That's a good idea.
Fresh air, mmm.
451
00:54:47,952 --> 00:54:50,663
Can you find it in your
heart to forgive me?
452
00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:51,998
Forgive you?
453
00:54:52,164 --> 00:54:54,709
The chances of an
electro-cardiograph malfunction
454
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:55,960
are one in a million.
455
00:54:56,127 --> 00:54:57,247
And I'm the one, is that it?
456
00:54:57,336 --> 00:54:58,976
Oh, Pete, I know
you've been through hell,
457
00:54:59,130 --> 00:55:02,049
the anxiety and all, but I
know you want the truth.
458
00:55:02,216 --> 00:55:04,969
The fact of the matter is...
Is less time.
459
00:55:05,511 --> 00:55:07,971
You're trying to tell me
I have less time.
460
00:55:07,972 --> 00:55:10,182
I'm trying to tell you
that your heart is perfect.
461
00:55:10,349 --> 00:55:12,601
It's fine. You're going to
live to be a senior citizen.
462
00:55:12,768 --> 00:55:14,270
Isn't that great?
463
00:55:17,064 --> 00:55:18,482
You quack!
464
00:55:18,983 --> 00:55:21,110
I should report you to the AMA.
465
00:55:21,277 --> 00:55:23,237
Why didn't you let me die?
466
00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:25,531
I've been living like I'm dying.
467
00:55:25,698 --> 00:55:29,827
I must have signed 40 or 50,000 dollars
worth of tabs on my credit cards.
468
00:55:29,994 --> 00:55:32,621
Forty or 50,000 dollars, Pete?
469
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:33,998
Or 80 or 90.
470
00:55:35,458 --> 00:55:37,251
Maybe 100, with tips.
471
00:55:39,587 --> 00:55:41,380
A hundred thousand bucks.
472
00:55:41,547 --> 00:55:44,300
Who's counting, not me.
You said I was dying.
473
00:55:44,467 --> 00:55:46,302
I wouldn't have to pay.
474
00:55:51,182 --> 00:55:52,974
I wish I were dead.
475
00:55:52,975 --> 00:55:54,977
Oh, I'll drink to that.
476
00:55:56,395 --> 00:55:59,023
A hundred thousand clams.
477
00:55:59,482 --> 00:56:02,068
And now you tell me I'm going to live.
478
00:56:03,027 --> 00:56:05,988
Holy cow! Who's going
to pay all these bills?
479
00:56:06,781 --> 00:56:07,990
You are.
480
00:56:08,783 --> 00:56:09,992
For doing the most stupid,
481
00:56:10,159 --> 00:56:13,621
the most dishonest thing that
I have ever heard of in my life.
482
00:56:14,121 --> 00:56:15,247
Me?
483
00:56:16,332 --> 00:56:18,751
It's all your fault, pal of mine.
484
00:56:18,918 --> 00:56:20,503
Nancy would have never
come up with this
485
00:56:20,669 --> 00:56:23,881
bright idea had it not
been for your diagnosis.
486
00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:30,012
There's only one decent
thing left for you to do.
487
00:56:30,346 --> 00:56:31,972
Turn yourself in.
488
00:56:33,557 --> 00:56:35,935
Decent thing? That's insane.
489
00:56:36,102 --> 00:56:37,895
I'll be behind you all the way.
490
00:56:38,062 --> 00:56:40,356
Oh, sure you will.
A mile behind me.
491
00:56:40,856 --> 00:56:43,067
You do as I say,
and they'll understand.
492
00:56:43,234 --> 00:56:47,696
Oh, come on, Scotty, 100,000
dollars worth of high life.
493
00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:50,991
Not Granite Life. No,
they'll never understand.
494
00:56:51,409 --> 00:56:54,203
They never acted kindly
towards heists or robbers.
495
00:56:54,370 --> 00:56:55,370
No.
496
00:56:55,955 --> 00:56:58,374
You weren't responsible
for your actions.
497
00:56:58,541 --> 00:57:00,960
Diners Club will
serve me my last supper.
498
00:57:01,127 --> 00:57:04,255
We'll hire a headshrinker to say
that you were emotionally unbalanced.
499
00:57:04,422 --> 00:57:07,716
And Carte Blanche will do
nasty things to me in French.
500
00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:09,968
We'll ask for a jury trial.
501
00:57:09,969 --> 00:57:13,305
And Global Express, oh, they'll
ship me post-paid to Alcatraz.
502
00:57:13,472 --> 00:57:14,765
Oh, they closed that already.
503
00:57:14,932 --> 00:57:18,978
Yeah, look, after what I've done,
they're gonna have a grand reopening.
504
00:57:19,979 --> 00:57:21,730
Oh, boy.
505
00:57:25,025 --> 00:57:27,319
What am I going to do, Scotty?
506
00:57:27,820 --> 00:57:29,196
I don't know.
507
00:57:30,030 --> 00:57:34,618
I'm sure there's a way,
if we both try real hard.
508
00:57:35,369 --> 00:57:38,289
Let's do that.
Let's try very hard.
509
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:44,003
Well, I... I had this
glimmer of a notion.
510
00:57:44,587 --> 00:57:48,757
I don't know whether you're
prepared to make this kind of sacrifice.
511
00:57:48,924 --> 00:57:50,885
Well, try me. I mean,
I'll do anything.
512
00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:52,553
I have no choice.
513
00:57:53,846 --> 00:57:57,141
Well, Nancy and the kids
are prepared for your death.
514
00:57:57,850 --> 00:58:00,436
Emotionally, spiritually, financially.
515
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:06,150
No, it's too big a sacrifice.
516
00:58:07,109 --> 00:58:10,070
Just say what you were going
to say. Let me make the decision.
517
00:58:10,237 --> 00:58:11,989
Get on with it.
518
00:58:14,033 --> 00:58:16,494
Well, very simply,
519
00:58:17,077 --> 00:58:20,122
your problem would be over
if you were to die.
520
00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:25,961
You were right. It's
too big a sacrifice.
521
00:58:26,128 --> 00:58:30,382
No, no, I don't mean die die.
Just make it seem so.
522
00:58:31,717 --> 00:58:33,010
Seem so?
523
00:58:33,761 --> 00:58:35,971
How do we make die not dead?
524
00:58:37,139 --> 00:58:38,891
Like this.
525
00:58:42,978 --> 00:58:46,273
You have your expected
heart attack and die.
526
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:47,942
I witness your death.
527
00:58:48,108 --> 00:58:51,070
And as your doctor,
I sign your death certificate.
528
00:58:51,237 --> 00:58:54,156
The coffin is sealed and
shipped home for interment.
529
00:58:54,323 --> 00:58:56,450
Nancy and the kids
collect your life insurance.
530
00:58:56,617 --> 00:58:58,827
As for all your other debts...
531
00:58:59,495 --> 00:59:01,956
They can't collect from a corpse.
532
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:03,999
Something like that.
533
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:10,297
Whose corpse are we talking about?
534
00:59:10,464 --> 00:59:12,424
Well, certainly not yours.
535
00:59:13,008 --> 00:59:18,264
Oh. Then we're talking
about... murder?
536
00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:23,977
Look, Scotty, I'm
an embezzler already,
537
00:59:23,978 --> 00:59:25,980
I don't need a promotion.
538
00:59:26,981 --> 00:59:32,570
Look, every morgue has a percentage
of unclaimed, unidentified bodies.
539
00:59:32,736 --> 00:59:34,446
I find one, claim it,
540
00:59:35,114 --> 00:59:38,284
identify it as you, ship it home.
541
00:59:53,549 --> 00:59:54,842
You...
542
01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:04,602
What happens when Nancy opens
the coffin? Shouldn't I be there?
543
01:00:04,768 --> 01:00:08,856
Nancy will not, repeat, not
open the coffin. I'll see to that.
544
01:00:09,023 --> 01:00:13,110
I'll prevail upon her to
remember you as you were, alive.
545
01:00:17,865 --> 01:00:20,993
Then I'll never be able
to see my wife and kids?
546
01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:24,997
Pete, when I spoke of
sacrifice, that's what I meant.
547
01:00:28,792 --> 01:00:31,295
I'll never see my wife and kids again.
548
01:00:31,462 --> 01:00:32,838
Not never.
549
01:00:33,005 --> 01:00:34,715
In seven years, you turn up again.
550
01:00:34,882 --> 01:00:37,509
The Statute of Limitations,
seven years.
551
01:00:38,719 --> 01:00:41,680
Seven years? Are you nuts?
552
01:00:41,847 --> 01:00:44,433
Or seven years in jail
for grand larceny.
553
01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:48,520
I'll take the limitations.
554
01:00:50,522 --> 01:00:51,982
Seven years.
555
01:00:52,900 --> 01:00:53,942
What about Nancy?
556
01:00:54,109 --> 01:00:55,694
Oh, Nancy mustn't know about this.
557
01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:57,488
If she finds out that you're alive,
558
01:00:57,655 --> 01:01:00,407
she'll drop everything
and run to your side.
559
01:01:00,574 --> 01:01:02,785
She was always crazy about you.
560
01:01:03,869 --> 01:01:06,330
Yeah, I gotta say
that right... Was?
561
01:01:08,874 --> 01:01:10,000
Yeah.
562
01:01:12,753 --> 01:01:16,965
I always had a feeling
for a drive in a car on a nice day,
563
01:01:17,132 --> 01:01:20,511
just leisurely enjoying
the simple art of sightseeing.
564
01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:23,847
But this is one drive,
on a not too thrilling day,
565
01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:25,766
that was sure to give me the willies
566
01:01:25,933 --> 01:01:28,310
seeing the sight I was about to see.
567
01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:34,525
I could think of at least a half a
dozen places I'd rather be right now,
568
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:38,028
most of which are a lot warmer.
569
01:02:00,300 --> 01:02:03,220
Hey, Scotty, this one
looks like it'll do.
570
01:02:03,387 --> 01:02:05,431
It's about the right size, huh?
571
01:02:05,597 --> 01:02:07,141
What do you think? Look.
572
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:11,019
There's only one
problem. It's a girl.
573
01:02:11,186 --> 01:02:12,771
Can't you tell the difference?
574
01:02:12,938 --> 01:02:14,106
Oh. Come on.
575
01:02:16,442 --> 01:02:17,943
Thank you.
576
01:02:20,112 --> 01:02:21,905
And on we went
577
01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,992
determined and sure
about what had to be done.
578
01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:28,954
Scott told me where to go and I went.
579
01:02:29,997 --> 01:02:34,001
I was doing the driving, all right,
but he was doing the steering.
580
01:02:35,169 --> 01:02:38,380
What we were looking for
wasn't that easy to dig up.
581
01:02:38,547 --> 01:02:39,923
Sorry about that.
582
01:02:46,930 --> 01:02:50,851
I, uh, think I have just
what you're looking for.
583
01:02:51,018 --> 01:02:52,019
Oh, yes.
584
01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:58,609
"Male, heart attack,
six feet, 175 pounds."
585
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:04,698
Too tall.
586
01:03:04,990 --> 01:03:07,701
You'd better let me
handle this. That's the man.
587
01:03:07,868 --> 01:03:11,538
That's my patient, Mr. Peter
Ingersoll, Van Nuys, California.
588
01:03:11,705 --> 01:03:13,025
How do I arrange for his release?
589
01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:16,627
Oh, well, you'll have to
talk to the prefect of police,
590
01:03:16,794 --> 01:03:20,005
the district medical officer,
and the local undertaker.
591
01:03:20,172 --> 01:03:23,467
Uh, now if you come to my office,
592
01:03:23,634 --> 01:03:25,969
I'll give you the proper papers.
593
01:03:35,479 --> 01:03:39,066
Which one would you like? Diners
Club, Carte Blanche, or Global Express?
594
01:03:39,233 --> 01:03:41,109
All your cards are muy good, Senor.
595
01:03:41,276 --> 01:03:44,488
Fine. Try Global Express.
We'll give them a break.
596
01:03:44,947 --> 01:03:45,989
Right.
597
01:03:47,825 --> 01:03:49,243
Oh, thank you.
598
01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:54,540
Scotty, it's kind of spooky
reading your own death certificate.
599
01:03:54,706 --> 01:03:56,792
Yeah, well, never mind, give me that.
600
01:03:56,959 --> 01:03:59,586
It's time for the heart
attack. Make it good.
601
01:03:59,753 --> 01:04:01,255
Oh. All right.
602
01:04:01,421 --> 01:04:03,131
Lower, dummy.
603
01:04:08,011 --> 01:04:10,264
Oh, my... My heart.
Oh, my hea... heart.
604
01:04:10,430 --> 01:04:12,391
Oh, my ho-ho-ho-ho.
605
01:04:12,558 --> 01:04:13,975
My heart!
606
01:04:13,976 --> 01:04:16,603
Ohh! I can't breathe.
607
01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:20,023
Oh, my ha-ha-ha. Oh, ha-hey!
608
01:04:20,190 --> 01:04:23,360
Um, um, um. Oh, it's easy, um!
609
01:04:23,527 --> 01:04:25,737
Help, please, man's
had a heart attack.
610
01:04:25,904 --> 01:04:28,216
I'm a doctor. Help me get
him to the car. I got one outside.
611
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:30,742
Here we go. Oh,
easy, steady. Whoa.
612
01:04:33,996 --> 01:04:37,499
Okay. All in order. You now
have a passport to Israel.
613
01:04:38,208 --> 01:04:40,669
I hope this works.
614
01:04:40,836 --> 01:04:43,839
Don't worry about it.
The disguise looks great.
615
01:04:44,006 --> 01:04:46,842
Now whatever you do, don't
forget who you're supposed to be.
616
01:04:47,009 --> 01:04:48,343
Yeah, I know. Fred C. Hobbs.
617
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:52,097
No, no, Dobbs. Not Hobbs. Dobbs.
618
01:04:52,264 --> 01:04:54,099
Fred C. Dobbs.
619
01:04:54,266 --> 01:04:57,269
Citizen of Australia,
occupation sheep herder.
620
01:04:57,436 --> 01:04:58,896
Uh, rancher.
621
01:04:59,062 --> 01:05:00,981
Yeah, okay, I got it.
622
01:05:02,649 --> 01:05:03,901
Hey, what about the body?
623
01:05:04,067 --> 01:05:07,154
That's all taken care of.
It'll be shipped out tomorrow.
624
01:05:18,749 --> 01:05:20,334
Here you go. Oh, thank you.
625
01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:23,837
Believe me, Pete, no one in Israel is
going to question you wearing a hat.
626
01:05:24,004 --> 01:05:25,004
Oh, yeah.
627
01:05:25,130 --> 01:05:26,691
Now here's some money.
I'll send you more from home.
628
01:05:26,715 --> 01:05:29,343
Thank you. Oh, let me
have those matches.
629
01:05:30,010 --> 01:05:32,346
Are you mad?
You'll go up in flames.
630
01:05:32,512 --> 01:05:33,597
Oh, yeah.
631
01:05:33,764 --> 01:05:34,890
Listen, Scotty,
632
01:05:35,057 --> 01:05:37,684
I know the risks that you've
taken for me and I appreciate it.
633
01:05:37,851 --> 01:05:40,938
I mean, with putting your
professional career on the line and all.
634
01:05:41,104 --> 01:05:42,373
Now you... WOMANON PA: Attention, please.
635
01:05:42,397 --> 01:05:47,194
Passengers holding tickets
on Flight 309 to Rome, Tel Aviv,
636
01:05:47,361 --> 01:05:50,238
please proceed to customs
clearance. Thank you.
637
01:05:50,405 --> 01:05:53,283
Don't forget, we have a date,
right here, seven years from tonight.
638
01:05:53,450 --> 01:05:54,660
Okay.
639
01:05:59,706 --> 01:06:00,999
Senor.
640
01:06:04,670 --> 01:06:05,754
Senor Dobbs?
641
01:06:05,921 --> 01:06:07,381
Fred C. Dobbs. That's right.
642
01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:09,216
Citizen of Australia?
643
01:06:09,383 --> 01:06:11,009
Australia. Right.
644
01:06:11,176 --> 01:06:13,804
Your immunization record, por favor?
645
01:06:14,137 --> 01:06:15,430
My what?
646
01:06:15,597 --> 01:06:17,849
Your health certificate, Senor.
647
01:06:19,977 --> 01:06:21,979
Oh, I don't have one.
648
01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:24,147
You have to have it, Senor.
649
01:06:24,314 --> 01:06:27,651
You had to have a
certificate to enter Portugal.
650
01:06:29,361 --> 01:06:30,821
He was right.
651
01:06:30,988 --> 01:06:32,948
I had a medical certificate.
652
01:06:33,115 --> 01:06:34,533
Where was it?
653
01:06:34,700 --> 01:06:36,910
Attached to my old passport,
654
01:06:37,077 --> 01:06:39,955
which was now attached
to my new coffin.
655
01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:45,960
Passengers
holding tickets on Flight 309...
656
01:06:45,961 --> 01:06:47,796
Sorry, I must have lost it.
657
01:06:47,963 --> 01:06:50,424
No matter, I'm sure I can
get me one in Tel Aviv, eh?
658
01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:51,925
Impossible, Senor.
659
01:06:52,092 --> 01:06:54,094
You may not board
the airplane without it.
660
01:06:54,261 --> 01:06:57,973
The Minister of Health will
provide you with a new certificate.
661
01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:02,644
That means they'd
check the record, eh?
662
01:07:02,811 --> 01:07:05,897
Then you'd better get a doctor
to provide you with one, Senor.
663
01:07:06,064 --> 01:07:07,983
A doctor? A doctor. Si, Senor.
664
01:07:08,900 --> 01:07:11,945
Oh, uh, a doctor.
665
01:07:56,239 --> 01:07:58,825
I say, good day. Is
Dr. Carter registered, please?
666
01:07:58,992 --> 01:08:00,160
Yes, Senor.
667
01:08:00,327 --> 01:08:02,407
Oh, I see. Would you be
good enough to ring his room?
668
01:08:02,454 --> 01:08:04,539
Oh, Dr. Carter is out, Senor.
669
01:08:04,790 --> 01:08:07,959
Oh. Very well, thank you.
Then I'll come back, eh?
670
01:08:08,126 --> 01:08:12,005
Perhaps, Senor, you wish
to speak with Mrs. Carter?
671
01:08:13,465 --> 01:08:15,008
Mrs. Carter?
672
01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:18,969
I'm in
reference to Dr. Scott Carter.
673
01:08:18,970 --> 01:08:20,931
C-A-R-T-E-R.
674
01:08:21,807 --> 01:08:25,060
Exactly, Senor.
I speak well the English.
675
01:08:25,435 --> 01:08:27,562
Dr. Scott Carter is out,
676
01:08:28,021 --> 01:08:31,817
but Mrs. Carter is upstairs.
677
01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:34,694
Mrs. Carter?
678
01:08:34,986 --> 01:08:36,987
Oh, his mother,
Mrs. Carter, maybe?
679
01:08:36,988 --> 01:08:38,990
No, no, Senor.
680
01:08:39,324 --> 01:08:42,744
Mrs. Carter muy Bonita.
681
01:08:44,246 --> 01:08:48,083
Well, I say, that must
be his nurse, Suzy.
682
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:52,087
I never pegged old Scotty to be a
swinger, but I guess I was wrong.
683
01:08:52,254 --> 01:08:55,507
Well, I'll be right over
here if he should get in.
684
01:08:57,092 --> 01:09:00,929
Senor, there's Mrs. Carter now.
685
01:09:10,564 --> 01:09:12,691
Mommy, look what
Daddy Scott bought us.
686
01:09:12,858 --> 01:09:14,693
Oh, that's marvelous.
Bought this, too.
687
01:09:14,860 --> 01:09:16,319
Oh, isn't that great, Jimmy.
688
01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:18,947
Hi. Oh, you look so
pretty. Hello, dear.
689
01:09:19,114 --> 01:09:20,114
Do you really like it?
690
01:09:20,157 --> 01:09:21,408
Oh, I almost forgot.
691
01:09:21,575 --> 01:09:22,576
For you.
692
01:09:22,742 --> 01:09:25,245
You're just so thoughtful, Scott.
693
01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,378
Oh, it's beautiful.
694
01:09:33,545 --> 01:09:35,672
They're just flowers. Oh!
695
01:09:44,139 --> 01:09:45,974
Pooned and harpooned.
696
01:09:47,017 --> 01:09:50,978
I should have leaped over
and pried them apart and yelled,
697
01:09:50,979 --> 01:09:53,398
"Get your lips off my wife!"
698
01:09:54,065 --> 01:09:56,359
There's a lot of things
I should have done, like,
699
01:09:56,526 --> 01:09:59,988
consulting another doctor
when Scotty said I was dying.
700
01:10:00,989 --> 01:10:01,990
Like,
701
01:10:02,991 --> 01:10:06,912
finding out how come
Nancy went to Scotty,
702
01:10:07,078 --> 01:10:08,997
instead of a gynecologist.
703
01:10:09,164 --> 01:10:10,498
And like,
704
01:10:10,999 --> 01:10:14,836
asking myself what kind
of a doctor prescribes
705
01:10:15,003 --> 01:10:17,380
fake corpses and phony passports,
706
01:10:17,547 --> 01:10:19,549
and one-way tickets to Israel.
707
01:10:22,010 --> 01:10:26,139
And how come my wife Nancy had me carry
150,000 dollars worth of life insurance.
708
01:10:29,309 --> 01:10:32,687
So I had to stand there,
watching my best friend
709
01:10:32,854 --> 01:10:35,106
making love to my best wife,
710
01:10:35,273 --> 01:10:38,401
while she laughed at me
through teeth I paid for.
711
01:10:39,361 --> 01:10:41,988
And I still hadn't gotten
my shots for Israel.
712
01:10:45,575 --> 01:10:47,577
Who wants to go to the Lisbon Zoo?
713
01:10:47,744 --> 01:10:48,744
We do!
714
01:10:48,870 --> 01:10:51,581
And see the elephants
and the bears and all...
715
01:10:51,748 --> 01:10:52,958
Okay, the zoo it is.
716
01:10:53,124 --> 01:10:56,002
Daddy Scott. Daddy Scott, are
you going to take us to dinner?
717
01:10:56,169 --> 01:10:57,671
Now, who said that?
718
01:10:57,837 --> 01:10:59,005
I did.
719
01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:02,092
Hey, that's a pretty good idea.
720
01:11:02,259 --> 01:11:05,220
I tell you what, after the zoo,
after we've seen the elephants,
721
01:11:05,387 --> 01:11:08,848
with their tuskie-boos, and
the big bears with their babykins,
722
01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:11,935
we'll all go and have a big din-din.
723
01:11:12,102 --> 01:11:15,397
And we'll grow big and
strong if we eat our num-nums!
724
01:11:15,563 --> 01:11:17,983
All right? Okay,
let's go. Oh, goody.
725
01:11:19,359 --> 01:11:23,947
And we'll get big and strong
if we eat all our num-nums.
726
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:25,991
Oh, that's sickening.
727
01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:37,585
You know what else is sickening?
728
01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:42,257
Standing around in this
creepy hotel lobby,
729
01:11:42,424 --> 01:11:46,969
a wanted man, a criminal.
With no money, no future.
730
01:11:46,970 --> 01:11:49,139
Worst of all, no past.
731
01:11:49,306 --> 01:11:51,099
Wearing these hokey clothes,
732
01:11:51,266 --> 01:11:55,979
trying to breathe through a bush that
had to come from the rump of an aardvark.
733
01:11:56,980 --> 01:11:58,982
Was it something I said?
734
01:12:08,116 --> 01:12:10,535
I couldn't believe it.
735
01:12:10,702 --> 01:12:12,203
But there it was.
736
01:12:12,871 --> 01:12:14,998
Now things began to make sense.
737
01:12:15,999 --> 01:12:18,418
A pretty sour pill to swallow.
738
01:12:18,585 --> 01:12:22,380
But with a doctor like him, his
pills would have to be the worst.
739
01:12:23,423 --> 01:12:26,009
Now what was I supposed to do?
740
01:12:26,593 --> 01:12:28,595
Nothing but walk.
741
01:12:29,179 --> 01:12:31,056
And that's what I did.
742
01:12:31,389 --> 01:12:33,767
I walked and walked.
743
01:12:34,893 --> 01:12:39,814
I was advised overdoing was
bad for someone with my condition.
744
01:12:39,981 --> 01:12:41,983
But since that advice
came from that creep
745
01:12:42,150 --> 01:12:45,987
I laughingly refer to as a
doctor, how bad could it be?
746
01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:49,449
I figured if I got real lucky,
I'd get run over.
747
01:12:49,616 --> 01:12:53,995
But with the way things have been
going, it would probably be a bike.
748
01:13:10,970 --> 01:13:12,972
Go ahead, everybody else has.
749
01:13:31,282 --> 01:13:32,867
Come in.
750
01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:35,703
Come on in, Senor.
751
01:13:38,456 --> 01:13:39,791
What can I do for you?
752
01:13:39,958 --> 01:13:42,293
Uh, Dobbs is my name.
Fred C. Dobbs.
753
01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:45,060
I was made aware of the fact
that you're holding a friend of mine,
754
01:13:45,171 --> 01:13:48,967
Peter Ingersoll, I just thought I'd
stop by to see how he was doing.
755
01:13:49,134 --> 01:13:50,718
He's fine.
756
01:13:50,885 --> 01:13:54,139
He's just beautiful.
Would you like to see him?
757
01:13:54,305 --> 01:13:56,641
Uh, yes.
This way, please, Senor.
758
01:14:07,402 --> 01:14:09,696
Someone important?
759
01:14:09,863 --> 01:14:11,448
It seems so.
760
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:13,408
That's Colonel Durham.
761
01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:18,037
Oh. Is that R.K. Durham
of South Carolina?
762
01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:20,081
The same. You knew him?
763
01:14:20,248 --> 01:14:21,416
Knew of him.
764
01:14:21,583 --> 01:14:24,794
No matter what brand of tobacco
you'd smoke, he grew it, you see.
765
01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:28,673
We are shipping the remains home
to be placed in the family mausoleum,
766
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:30,300
with full military honors.
767
01:14:30,467 --> 01:14:33,094
And I consider this a great
honor for our mortuary.
768
01:14:33,261 --> 01:14:35,638
Oh, you should. It's
absolutely marvelous.
769
01:14:35,805 --> 01:14:36,973
After you.
770
01:14:48,985 --> 01:14:50,945
We have been very fortunate, Senor.
771
01:14:51,112 --> 01:14:54,324
Your friend sails with Colonel
Durham in the morning.
772
01:14:54,699 --> 01:14:56,201
Take your time,
773
01:14:57,243 --> 01:15:00,121
and ring the bell when
you are ready to leave.
774
01:15:00,288 --> 01:15:02,624
Uh, good show. Thank you.
775
01:15:20,475 --> 01:15:22,143
What a way to go.
776
01:15:22,310 --> 01:15:25,021
A long boat trip, together yet,
777
01:15:25,355 --> 01:15:27,899
just you and the little old Colonel.
778
01:15:28,525 --> 01:15:31,236
Little did he know how
close to integration he'd be.
779
01:15:31,402 --> 01:15:34,989
What a stroke of luck,
a perfect revenge.
780
01:15:35,990 --> 01:15:40,078
We'll show that best friend
quack and my fink wife.
781
01:16:27,417 --> 01:16:29,294
I say, what room is
Dr. Carter, please?
782
01:16:29,460 --> 01:16:31,796
Room 316, Senor.
783
01:16:31,963 --> 01:16:33,214
The house phone is right there.
784
01:16:33,381 --> 01:16:35,008
Oh, splendid.
785
01:16:37,051 --> 01:16:38,261
Hello!
786
01:16:38,428 --> 01:16:41,139
Hello. Could you connect
me with 316, please?
787
01:16:46,978 --> 01:16:48,646
There's no answer?
788
01:16:48,813 --> 01:16:49,939
No, Senor!
789
01:16:50,106 --> 01:16:51,399
Oh, thank you.
790
01:18:48,182 --> 01:18:49,517
Plain printing.
791
01:18:49,684 --> 01:18:54,021
If he ever gets his hands on my insurance
money, he'll have these engraved.
792
01:19:14,709 --> 01:19:16,229
Isn't there any privacy in this hotel?
793
01:19:18,171 --> 01:19:21,108
Can't two people be alone in the room
without somebody sticking their nose in?
794
01:19:21,132 --> 01:19:23,259
Just get out! Get out! Vamoose!
795
01:19:23,426 --> 01:19:24,426
Come on, honey.
796
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:30,349
It's a terrible thing. A
maid should just clean the room.
797
01:19:30,516 --> 01:19:34,395
But to walk inside when people
are trying to find public... Private...
798
01:19:34,562 --> 01:19:37,231
You could get... I would
never check-in here.
799
01:23:05,982 --> 01:23:09,568
Colonel Durham would be
shipped to Van Nuys, California.
800
01:23:09,735 --> 01:23:11,779
Ingersoll to South Carolina,
801
01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:15,866
to lay in state with
the Sons of the Confederacy.
802
01:23:16,575 --> 01:23:19,954
You sent Ingersoll to South Carolina?
803
01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:25,835
One problem remained.
804
01:23:26,002 --> 01:23:29,964
I had to get my vaccination
and shots to get out of Portugal.
805
01:23:30,673 --> 01:23:36,053
But I had to find a doctor
that would ask no questions.
806
01:23:39,890 --> 01:23:41,851
Say, "Ah." Ah.
807
01:23:42,018 --> 01:23:43,894
Now you'll feel more better.
808
01:23:44,061 --> 01:23:47,440
Now, that take care of the smallpox,
typhoid, yellow fever and distemper.
809
01:23:47,606 --> 01:23:49,525
That be 20 dollars.
810
01:24:00,995 --> 01:24:02,621
All in order, Senor Dobbs.
811
01:24:02,788 --> 01:24:04,540
All in order. Right.
812
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:08,335
You now go to Chile.
813
01:24:08,502 --> 01:24:11,589
Yeah, I hear
the fishing there is smashing.
814
01:24:11,756 --> 01:24:14,258
But yesterday you
were going to Israel.
815
01:24:14,425 --> 01:24:17,011
Oh, yes. So I was.
Well, you know,
816
01:24:17,178 --> 01:24:20,765
the only fish you can catch in
Israel is smoked salmon, you see.
817
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:24,143
Thanks a lot. Bang on. Cheerio.
818
01:24:43,662 --> 01:24:46,373
And there I was, at the
helm of my own boat,
819
01:24:46,540 --> 01:24:50,419
with a new charter party,
steering straight for marlin.
820
01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:54,548
Now then... Forget about the
marlin, Senor. What about your wife?
821
01:24:54,715 --> 01:24:55,966
And Dr. Carter.
822
01:24:56,133 --> 01:24:57,259
And the coffins.
823
01:24:57,426 --> 01:24:59,969
Yes, and Colonel Durham.
824
01:24:59,970 --> 01:25:01,680
Oh! Oh, well...
825
01:25:01,847 --> 01:25:06,060
Through hometown newspapers
and some shortwave broadcasts,
826
01:25:06,227 --> 01:25:11,315
I pieced together the events that
were taking place back in the States.
827
01:25:17,988 --> 01:25:20,991
Parade rest. Cemetery
of the Sons of the Confederacy.
828
01:25:22,076 --> 01:25:26,455
Everyone presumed Colonel
R.K. Durham lay in state.
829
01:25:38,592 --> 01:25:39,927
Proceed.
830
01:25:40,928 --> 01:25:41,971
Attention!
831
01:25:42,138 --> 01:25:44,682
And then the coffin was opened.
832
01:25:56,986 --> 01:25:57,986
That's not him.
833
01:25:58,112 --> 01:25:59,196
Men!
834
01:26:00,990 --> 01:26:03,909
I meant to ask you about that.
835
01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:06,954
What's happened?
Whose body is that?
836
01:26:07,121 --> 01:26:08,121
Let me see that.
837
01:26:17,882 --> 01:26:21,968
Meanwhile, back in Van
Nuys, California, at the Haven of Rest,
838
01:26:21,969 --> 01:26:24,597
there was no turnout for my funeral.
839
01:26:24,763 --> 01:26:26,449
The neighbors couldn't come
because it was Saturday
840
01:26:26,473 --> 01:26:29,894
and there was a barbeque
at Larry Heath's, again.
841
01:26:33,147 --> 01:26:34,857
Oh, Nancy was there.
842
01:26:35,024 --> 01:26:38,611
And good old Scotty, he
came with the 385 dollar funeral.
843
01:26:39,153 --> 01:26:41,989
Just as they were getting ready
to do the "ashes to ashes" bit,
844
01:26:42,156 --> 01:26:44,658
the place was suddenly
lousy with people.
845
01:27:00,925 --> 01:27:02,885
Dr. Carter? SCOTT: Yes?
846
01:27:03,719 --> 01:27:05,304
Dr. Scott Carter?
847
01:27:05,471 --> 01:27:06,764
Well?
848
01:27:06,931 --> 01:27:08,432
Your card, Doctor?
849
01:27:09,099 --> 01:27:11,268
I'm Dr. Everson,
the County Coroner.
850
01:27:11,435 --> 01:27:14,021
Just who is in that coffin, Doctor?
851
01:27:14,188 --> 01:27:16,982
Well, the deceased is
Mr. Ingersoll, Mr. Peter Ingersoll.
852
01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:19,360
Oh, then you don't mind
if we take a look, Doctor.
853
01:27:19,526 --> 01:27:21,153
I most certainly do.
854
01:27:21,987 --> 01:27:23,364
Mr. Ingersoll was my patient.
855
01:27:23,530 --> 01:27:25,842
I witnessed the death and I
signed the death certificate myself.
856
01:27:25,866 --> 01:27:28,035
Oh, I'm sure of that, Doctor.
857
01:27:28,202 --> 01:27:32,289
Here's a Portuguese Death Certificate
in the name of Peter Ingersoll.
858
01:27:32,456 --> 01:27:33,874
This is your signature, Doctor?
859
01:27:34,041 --> 01:27:36,168
Doctor, I resent...
Well, here's mine.
860
01:27:36,335 --> 01:27:38,170
A court order to open,
861
01:27:38,337 --> 01:27:42,216
and/or exhume, and/or examine,
and/or perform an autopsy
862
01:27:42,383 --> 01:27:46,637
thereof upon the deceased
person of Mr. Peter Ingersoll,
863
01:27:46,804 --> 01:27:50,015
and/or person or persons unknown.
864
01:27:50,182 --> 01:27:51,534
But, Doctor, there
isn't any need to...
865
01:27:51,558 --> 01:27:54,895
Forgive me, Doctor,
in a pig's eye there isn't.
866
01:27:55,062 --> 01:27:56,814
Open it up, boys.
867
01:28:01,151 --> 01:28:03,696
It's Richard.
868
01:28:06,156 --> 01:28:08,075
Who the hell is that?
869
01:28:11,996 --> 01:28:16,959
And I'm told even Colonel Durham
smiled when he saw Scotty's face.
870
01:28:19,253 --> 01:28:20,379
But to continue...
871
01:28:39,273 --> 01:28:44,320
As District Attorney of this city, I
demand to know what happened to Ingersoll.
872
01:28:45,070 --> 01:28:46,989
When did you last see
Colonel Durham alive?
873
01:28:47,156 --> 01:28:49,116
Does the word "malpractice"
mean anything to you?
874
01:28:49,283 --> 01:28:52,870
Surely you don't expect us
to pay you 150,000 dollars
875
01:28:53,037 --> 01:28:54,955
without proof of your husband's death.
876
01:28:55,122 --> 01:28:56,373
What happened to Ingersoll?
877
01:28:56,540 --> 01:28:58,417
What about these
Global Express charges?
878
01:28:58,584 --> 01:28:59,960
And who pays Carte Blanche?
879
01:29:00,127 --> 01:29:01,211
And Diners Club.
880
01:29:01,378 --> 01:29:02,963
How the CIA got
into this, I don't know,
881
01:29:03,130 --> 01:29:06,008
but since we are,
just how did you kill him?
882
01:29:06,175 --> 01:29:08,677
Why did you choose a negro
to put in the Colonel's coffin?
883
01:29:08,844 --> 01:29:11,096
And just what is your
purpose for this die-in?
884
01:29:11,263 --> 01:29:14,558
And were you aware that this negro
was Chief of our African Bureau?
885
01:29:14,725 --> 01:29:16,976
That's right. We've got to find
out what happened to that negro.
886
01:29:16,977 --> 01:29:18,896
That's right.
887
01:29:25,402 --> 01:29:26,987
Quiet! Quiet!
888
01:29:27,905 --> 01:29:29,031
Quiet!
889
01:29:29,198 --> 01:29:30,949
Gentlemen, please.
890
01:29:31,283 --> 01:29:32,785
Gentlemen.
891
01:29:34,995 --> 01:29:39,625
What we want to know is
what happened to Ingersoll?
892
01:30:03,065 --> 01:30:05,442
Now fly, you big sweetheart!
893
01:30:15,994 --> 01:30:17,371
And that's it.
894
01:30:17,996 --> 01:30:22,000
So, you see, the reports of my
death were grossly exaggerated.
895
01:30:22,167 --> 01:30:23,877
I'm really fine.
896
01:30:24,586 --> 01:30:26,839
With one small exception.
897
01:30:27,548 --> 01:30:30,134
I'm really fine. Just fine.
898
01:30:30,300 --> 01:30:32,969
I may not look like the healthiest
human being that ever lived,
899
01:30:32,970 --> 01:30:33,970
but I'm fine.
900
01:30:33,971 --> 01:30:35,848
I mean, I don't... Mr. Dobbs...
901
01:30:36,014 --> 01:30:38,654
The information you have given
us is very important for us to know,
902
01:30:38,725 --> 01:30:42,187
but, really, we must now hurry
and do what must be done.
903
01:30:43,355 --> 01:30:45,357
Okay. I understand.
904
01:30:45,524 --> 01:30:49,903
And we must do, and I
must tell you, in all honesty,
905
01:30:50,070 --> 01:30:53,449
there is no guarantee that
you'll come out of this alive.
906
01:30:56,869 --> 01:31:01,582
Well, if nothing else, you can
tell everybody I died a happy man.
907
01:31:02,166 --> 01:31:04,960
A true fisherman,
with a smile on my lips
908
01:31:05,419 --> 01:31:07,546
and a fish in my heart.
70895
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