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Upbeat Theme playing...
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♪ Ba‐ba‐ba‐ba,
ba‐ba‐ba‐ba ♪
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♪ Ba‐ba, da‐da‐da‐da‐da‐da
da‐da‐da ♪
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*HOW I MET YOUR FATHER*
Season 01 Episode 02
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Episode Title: "FOMO"
Aired on: January 18, 2022.
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Okay, so you walked Brooklyn Bridge,
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and that was the night you met Dad.
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And then how long
until you guys got together?
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This story is about the journey,
not the destination.
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I'm going to get with
a whole bunch of dudes
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00:00:28,025 --> 00:00:29,610
before I wind up with Dad.
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You know, I'm okay
with skipping to the destination.
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I'm going to need you
to live in the moment here.
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Which, back in the day,
I was terrible at.
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After my super triumphant
Brooklyn Bridge Walk,
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I backslid.
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Instead of living in the moment,
I decided to live in my phone.
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- Morning!
- Can you knock?
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Nope! Were you looking
at your old texts with Ian?
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No.
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I was looking at porn.
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Liar! You're scared of porn.
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I'm not scared of porn.
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I'm scared of the government
tracking my search history.
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Stop wallowing. Put these on.
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It's Fonda time!
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Up!
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- So, what are we thinking for tonight?
- Uh,
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probably just going to stay in
and organize my darkroom closet.
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You mean look at pictures of Ian
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while listening to
Drops of Jupiter on loop
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like you do every time
things don't work out with a guy?
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Tell me...
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♪ Did the wind sweep you
off your feet? Did you... ♪
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It's my comfort song.
It works for everything.
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You remember when the dry cleaner
shrunk my favorite sweater?
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♪ Tell me, did the wind
sweep you off your feet? ♪
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You think Queen Jane stays in
on a Saturday night? No!
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She's out on the town, crushing dick.
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Alright. I wish you'd stop
saying "crushing dick"
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about feminist icons, but you're right.
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Good!
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' Cause I got us into FOMO tonight.
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What's FOMO?
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It stands for "fear of missing out."
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Yeah, I know what it stands for. Thanks.
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How do we go to it?
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Oh.
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FOMO is the name of this new club,
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which is a total sensory overload.
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There are a million different rooms.
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A rave room, a foam party room,
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a topless room, a tapas room,
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a topless tapas room.
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They say there's no such thing
as having FOMO inside of FOMO.
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This will be perfect for you. Plus,
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I'm going to need a big night out
after I end things with Charlie.
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Wait, you're ending things with Charlie?
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I gotta. He's smothering me.
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Morning, Valentina!
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I got us coffees
from a real New York bod‐ega
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and this chicken for dinner.
I opened the package,
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but I have no idea what happens next.
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This morning,
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I told him the best New York bagels
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are in Jersey just to have
a little time to myself.
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Anyway, I already drafted up a text.
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You cannot text break up with Charlie.
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You are crazy into the guy.
You just told me yesterday
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you were obsessed with him.
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I did not.
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I'm obsessed with him!
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Fine, I'm conflicted, okay?
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I mean,
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he is fun...
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and sweet
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and hot.
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Plus, he does this thing
in bed with his tongue
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where he folds it into a cloverleaf.
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We call it lucky charming.
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Uh, breakfast!
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- Most important meal of the day!
- Girl...
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But he's always around.
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Valentina. Of course
you think he's smothering you
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because you're the only person he knows
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in the entire city.
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You just have to help him
make some friends.
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Ew. Sounds hard.
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Yeah, well, if I have to be mature
and stop dwelling on Ian,
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then you need to be mature
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and try a little harder with Charlie.
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Fine!
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Wow.
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I can totally feel us growing right now.
I think I finally even made good coffee.
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Mm‐hmm!
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So, how do I make Charlie friends?
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Oh! I've got it.
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Step one,
I make him a Grindr account.
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Step two, the guy shows up.
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Step three, I lock the door...
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Or we could invite those guys
we hung out with last weekend
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to come out with us. I feel like
Charlie really hit it off with them
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playing Drunk Face Jenga.
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You have to have this.
You have this.
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Oh my god!
This is the best night of my life!
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Soph, I don't think either
of those guys are on Grindr.
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No! No Grindr!
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I'm DM‐ing Jesse.
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Yeah. I think White Dove
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is going to pop way more
than Moonlight White.
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Yeah. This will definitely be
what packs them into your bar.
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Everyone's going to be like,
"Hey, you got to check out Pemberton's.
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The upper walls are crisp AF!"
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All I want is some regulars coming in
and ordering the usual, you know?
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Like when I bought this place,
I really thought I could spruce it up,
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make it the perfect blend
of classic New York
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and little titty!
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- What?
- Oh,
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00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,390
Jasper taught me some cool new slang
the NYU kids are saying.
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Yeah, it's, uh, "litty titty," boss.
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God, he's cool!
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Oh. I just got a DM
from Sophie from last weekend.
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Ooh!
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- Sophie likes Jesse!
- Does not.
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She's asking if we all want
to go to some club tonight.
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I'll just tell her that
we always spend Saturdays here,
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- and that I hate clubs.
- Huh? Hey...
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- What?
- What are you doing?
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A hot, cool woman
just asked you on a date.
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You're really going to respond with
"I hate clubs"?
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She didn't ask me on a date.
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She asked if we wanted
to hang out.
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And just last week,
I drove her to the airport,
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so she could tell another guy
that she loved him.
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Yeah, that was last week.
And this is this week,
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00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,849
and, clearly, she's looking
for a hot rebound thang.
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Ellen, you're a woman.
Tell your brother what's up.
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I don't know if being
a woman qualifies me
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to decipher the DMs
of an erratic straight lady,
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00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,192
but if I had to,
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yeah. She's simping.
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Jasper. Huh?
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00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,865
Bet.
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You really think so?
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I do.
And I'm not just saying that
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because I'm dying for my first
big New York night out.
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Come on, Jesse!
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I want to get dressed up
in a cool jumpsuit
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and pay too much for a cocktail,
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and then spill the overpriced cocktail
all over my cool jumpsuit
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because some club asshole
didn't look where he was going.
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Then be like, "Watch it!"
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But, he doesn't hear me
because I mumble,
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and the sick beats are too loud.
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Wow. That was a very specific,
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00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,356
very realistic fantasy.
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00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,651
And maybe, just maybe...
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I'd like to flirt with a cute girl
who isn't my ex‐wife.
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Come on. Tell her yes.
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You got to get back out there sometime.
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Yeah, seriously, man.
Ever since Meredith dumped you,
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I've been spending
50 bucks a week on Kleenex.
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Wait, because you're crying
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or because you're
going to town on yourself?
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What? Ew! Crying!
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Bro...
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- Crying!
- Bro...
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Both.
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00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,678
Ooh! So exciting.
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00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,222
My first traditional
American friend setup.
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- Your what?
- I told him that was a thing. Be cool.
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Ooh! Almost forgot
to put my cufflinks in.
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Busted out the rubies to impress the boys.
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00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,859
Oh! Charlie, come here. Look at me.
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00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,445
Sid and Jesse don't wear cufflinks.
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They're just two regular New York guys.
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00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,158
And if you want them to like you,
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you're just going to have
to be a little more...
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00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,121
of the people. Okay?
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00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,457
Of course. No problem.
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00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,793
I totally know how to do that.
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Great.
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My cuffs are going to be
flapping all over the place.
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- Oh! Hey!
- Hey!
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00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,802
Cool shirt.
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00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,262
Oh, this old thing? Thanks.
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00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,806
Alright!
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00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:55,809
But just when I was ready
for a night of living in the moment...
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Son of a bitch.
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00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,362
"My ship's deckhand
has strong Momoa vibes."
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00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,155
Ian texted you that?
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00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,699
- Son of a bitch!
- Right?
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00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,369
Ian and I have this inside joke
where we sneak selfies
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00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,121
and text them to each other
when we see someone
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00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,872
who looks like Jason Momoa.
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00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,125
There was Jason Mimosa,
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00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,794
Jason Somosa,
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00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,547
Jason with Boa.
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00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:27,549
The last one was a stretch,
but I felt the pressure to text
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00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,759
because he'd sent, like, three in a row.
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00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,845
Yeah, I'm so glad I'm engaged.
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00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,015
Ian should know that the moment
he rejected an LDR with Sophie,
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00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,144
he lost inside joke texting privileges.
Sending this pic?
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00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,147
Classic "have your cake and eat it, too."
205
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,941
I actually hate cake.
206
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,277
Too hoity‐toity.
207
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,028
I'm more of a bread guy.
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00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,239
Plain old bread that I rip up
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00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,952
with my rough... calloused hands.
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00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,205
Oh yeah. Yeah, b‐bread's cool.
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00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,582
This is so messed up.
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00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,752
I refuse to spend another second
thinking about Ian.
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00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,381
I'm just going to write back
something super witty and charming,
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00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,258
just so he realizes what he's missing.
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00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,511
Okay! Okay, fine.
216
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,096
Next!
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00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,016
No photos allowed inside of FOMO.
218
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,977
Please put these stickers on your cameras.
219
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,020
I really don't think Sophie's into me.
220
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,938
She's clearly still hung up
on that Ian guy.
221
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,607
Nah, I don't think so.
222
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,943
She just got a little rattled
by his text is all.
223
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:30,987
Give me the best table you got, okay?
Tonight's a setup,
224
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,199
and I'm gonna need it to be
as fun as humanly possible.
225
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,203
This is a trial‐size vitamin C
brightening serum.
226
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:42,207
Take care of us, and mama's got more
where that came from, daddio.
227
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,502
Did you hear that? Tonight's a setup.
228
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,629
Valentina's trying to help her girl
229
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,964
get with my boy.
230
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,174
Sophie did say my shirt was cool.
231
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,384
She compliments the shirt
to get into the pants.
232
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,471
This is going to be the worst place ever.
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00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:58,098
This is the best place ever!
234
00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,350
I wanted to hate the nostalgic candy room.
235
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,268
Mm‐mmm! Look at me now!
236
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,232
Is that girl making eyes at me,
237
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,150
or is she trying to blink
something out of her eye?
238
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:13,154
- Woo‐woo!
- To a night of bonding with new friends!
239
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,532
And being in the moment.
240
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,826
Especially you guys, the three musketeers.
241
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,828
The three who?
242
00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:23,414
What is that, some sort of
fancy pants literary reference?
243
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,707
I'm not much of a reader, you know.
244
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,503
Just give me the big game
and a cold can of "puh‐buh‐ruh."
245
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,714
What? What's "puh‐buh‐ruh"?
246
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,008
Oh, it's that cheap beer
247
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,803
that we regular men... love.
248
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,138
Do you mean PBR?
249
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,683
Is that how it's pronounced? As PBR?
250
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,769
Oh, this is a disaster.
251
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,604
We just locked eyes again.
252
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,482
Okay, I'm going to go ask
to buy her a drink.
253
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,569
Oh!
254
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,904
I'm good!
255
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,374
So this is pretty great, huh?
256
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,376
If you told 8‐year‐old me
that I'd be at a club
257
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,088
with a hula hoop room,
I'd have totally lost my shit.
258
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:12,881
- Really?
- Yeah.
259
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,716
No, I was really into
hula hooping growing up.
260
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,219
My mom said I had the loosest
hips in Cincinnati.
261
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,554
Which I'm now realizing
is a very disturbing thing
262
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,223
to say to a young child.
263
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,350
Um...
264
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,437
Do‐do you want to go to the,
uh, candle room for a drink?
265
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,273
And that's when I realized
that there was
266
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,817
a totally sweet, interested guy
267
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,570
right in front of me.
268
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,738
Yeah.
269
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,573
Yeah. I do.
270
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,201
Cool. Uh, okay,
I'll get drinks. I'll meet you there.
271
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,209
But then, I spotted him, right there,
272
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,794
in the middle of FOMO.
273
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,005
The ultimate Momoa‐lookalike.
274
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,508
FOMO‐Moa.
275
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,930
Hey! H‐how's it going
with Eye Contact Girl?
276
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,224
Oh, I moved on to No Bra Bethany!
277
00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:07,227
She's really nice.
278
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,730
It was like the universe
279
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,691
was testing my willpower
to stay in the moment,
280
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,486
and I was immediately failing that test.
281
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,862
I had to get a picture.
282
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,572
Hey!
283
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,492
You're taking a picture
of that Momoa for Ian.
284
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,953
I wanna send him a stupid text
to make him laugh.
285
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,579
So then, he'll write me back
and make me laugh.
286
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,206
And if that's immature, I just don't care!
287
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,501
Well, if you get to text Ian,
then I get to break up with Charlie.
288
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,753
Fine! I say, do it.
289
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,214
Screw being mature.
Alright? We're young!
290
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,508
We can still make
bad choices for a few more years.
291
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,594
Yes! That's how we'll learn
the lessons we need to become
292
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,431
super‐wise dick‐crushing old people
like Jane Fonda.
293
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:45,682
Exactly!
294
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:47,976
- Good talk.
- Yep. Love you.
295
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,311
- Love you.
- Bye.
296
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,855
Alright.
297
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:54,733
I got ya.
298
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,318
Hey!
299
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,070
No photos at FOMO!
300
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,115
Especially here at FOMO Soho.
At FOMO Noho,
301
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,325
you want a photo? Sure! YOLO!
302
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:08,080
But at Soho FOMO, photos are no‐no.
You gotta go, yo!
303
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,755
So, what's your favorite
entry‐level sedan?
304
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,259
- Have you guys seen Sophie anywhere?
- Uh, no.
305
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:24,512
Well, if this is a setup,
it's the worst setup I've ever been on.
306
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,973
This is a setup between
Jesse and Sophie, too?
307
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,892
Uh, what do you mean "too"?
308
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,853
Well, Valentina's setting
the three of us up tonight,
309
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,231
on a traditional
American friends setup.
310
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,316
Charlie!
311
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,110
- We need to talk.
- Hey, uh, quick Q.
312
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,363
Is tonight a setup between Charlie
and us or Jesse and Sophie?
313
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,616
Charlie and you guys.
Sophie isn't ready for a setup.
314
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,117
She's still totally obsessed with Ian.
315
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,995
Oh no.
316
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,914
Did you think tonight
was about you and Sophie?
317
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,375
You know, I really,
really didn't, but...
318
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,211
someone convinced me it was.
319
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,047
I'm sorry, man.
320
00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,091
Let's just go back to my bar, okay?
321
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,677
With its lackluster drinks
and zero activities.
322
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,096
Hey! Maybe Jasper will hang out with us.
323
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,724
♪ Club music ♪
324
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,726
Your sister's got game.
325
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,770
Be honest with me.
326
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,982
Is a traditional American friend setup
even a thing?
327
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,276
No, it's not.
328
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,028
I thought maybe if you had
your own crew to hang out with,
329
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,822
I would feel less smothered.
330
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,074
You feel smothered?
331
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,077
But I'm always the little spoon.
332
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:32,163
You're great, Charlie,
but you're just...
333
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,582
always there,
and it‐it's just too much for me.
334
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,584
I think we should go our separate ways.
335
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:38,920
Well, why didn't you just tell me
that you needed space?
336
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,215
That's why you sent me
to Jersey for the bagels. Okay.
337
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,757
Wow.
338
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,135
If this is how you deal
with the tiniest little wrinkle,
339
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,470
then I agree.
340
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,388
We should end things.
341
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,523
Can't believe I lucky charmed you
twice this morning.
342
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:02,194
I crunched your captain twice, too!
It was an even trade!
343
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,447
♪ Tell me... ♪
344
00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:08,825
♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪
345
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,703
♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪
346
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,789
♪ To see the lights all faded ♪
347
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:17,959
♪ And that Heaven is overrated ♪
348
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,795
♪ muffled club music ♪
349
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,298
- I got kicked out of FOMO.
- I broke up with Charlie.
350
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,508
How did he take it?
351
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:29,060
He said I should have just
told him I needed some space.
352
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,765
Funny. I never thought of that.
353
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,170
I thought of it.
I just didn't wanna do it
354
00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:36,936
'cause if you tell a guy
what you need, and he does it,
355
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,834
then when he tells you what
he needs, you have to do it.
356
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:43,770
And I don't want to do that.
I only want to do exactly what I want
357
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:46,107
when I want, how I want.
358
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,991
And now, you can.
359
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,904
Did Ian like your Momoa pic?
360
00:15:52,123 --> 00:15:53,999
I haven't sent it.
361
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,040
- I can't decide if I'm going to.
- Mm.
362
00:15:57,201 --> 00:15:58,619
You know,
363
00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:01,919
Jesse thought you invited everyone out
tonight because you were into him.
364
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,673
Oh my god, I left him waiting
for me in the candle room!
365
00:16:05,082 --> 00:16:06,750
And his shirt looked very flammable.
366
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,435
Don't worry, he got out.
367
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,721
All the guys left.
368
00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:13,546
Looks like you two
are having a good night.
369
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:15,266
Who hurt you!?
370
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:22,982
- Gin martini with a twist.
- Thanks.
371
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,028
Mm.
372
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,322
And thanks for giving me another chance.
373
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,532
Mates.
374
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,975
I swear when I'm allowed
to be my normal fancy self,
375
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,645
I'm an absolute bloody delight.
376
00:16:35,933 --> 00:16:38,060
Those cufflinks are gorgeous.
377
00:16:42,003 --> 00:16:43,338
Thank you.
378
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,424
By the way, I noticed how crisp
your upper walls look.
379
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,654
Is it White Dove?
380
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:53,545
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
381
00:16:54,177 --> 00:16:55,511
Hey.
382
00:16:55,697 --> 00:16:57,115
Come here, we need to talk.
383
00:17:01,826 --> 00:17:03,035
Ooh...
384
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,567
Here. It's from Essa Bagel.
385
00:17:05,709 --> 00:17:07,193
Best bagels in the city.
386
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,763
It's where I should have
sent you instead of Jersey.
387
00:17:10,421 --> 00:17:12,834
Well, I mean,
how different can they be?
388
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,623
Oh my god, those Jersey bagels
are just little shit circles, aren't they?
389
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,540
You were right.
390
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,500
I should have just told you
that I needed some space.
391
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,878
I'm... really sorry.
392
00:17:27,972 --> 00:17:29,807
This isn't going to work.
393
00:17:30,873 --> 00:17:32,165
Oh.
394
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:35,646
You know, living together,
it's... it's too much.
395
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,933
So, I am going to move out.
396
00:17:38,613 --> 00:17:39,947
Oh.
397
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,568
Then, I would like
to take you on a first date.
398
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,306
Oh?
399
00:17:46,391 --> 00:17:48,517
We never really had one of those.
400
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,488
We do need to take a step back and...
401
00:17:52,108 --> 00:17:53,777
start at the beginning.
402
00:17:54,384 --> 00:17:55,677
I'd love that.
403
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,579
So, seeing as how
we're easing into things,
404
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:01,623
we probably shouldn't go
and have sex in the storage closet.
405
00:18:01,816 --> 00:18:04,130
Bring the bagel.
406
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,380
Hey! How you guys doing? Don't care!
407
00:18:11,902 --> 00:18:15,427
I just had the best night of my life!
408
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,430
Somebody get lucky at Club FOMO?
409
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,891
No!
410
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:22,224
- I was rejected constantly.
- Hi! I'm Ellen...
411
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:25,939
I got way too drunk way too fast,
412
00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,858
and struck out many, many times.
413
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,755
Cheers.
414
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,405
So, why are you so happy?
415
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,742
Because even though five... No, wait.
416
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,369
Six!
417
00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:42,038
Six women didn't want
to give me their numbers,
418
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,208
there are so many more out there
waiting for me.
419
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,002
- New York rules!
- Woo!
420
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,546
I'll drink to that!
421
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,966
Just play, damn it.
422
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:55,218
Really need this right now.
423
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,012
Why does everything in the world hate me?
424
00:18:57,638 --> 00:18:58,555
- Hey.
- Hey.
425
00:18:58,639 --> 00:18:59,889
Hey!
426
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,016
Just... playing a song.
427
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,478
No big thang.
428
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,482
I hope this doesn't
make you feel too uncomfortable,
429
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,944
but I know that
you thought tonight was a setup.
430
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:16,031
I'm extremely uncomfortable,
but go ahead.
431
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,659
I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.
432
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:21,995
And for standing you up
in the candle room earlier.
433
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:25,457
It's fine. I mean, it stung for a sec,
but nothing a quick spin
434
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,460
in the old hula hoop room
couldn't fix.
435
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,424
Jesse...
436
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,094
I'm a mess right now.
437
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,556
And I know that you've been
through a lot with your ex,
438
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:44,267
and that dating in the city
can make you feel...
439
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,936
hopeless and alone and like
you will never find someone
440
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,064
who realizes how amazing you are.
441
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:53,861
And... I don't want to be one of
those people who make you feel like that.
442
00:19:55,821 --> 00:19:57,322
Because I actually can see it.
443
00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:02,452
I'm a mess, too.
444
00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:04,162
I mean, it literally took all of my energy
445
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,539
just to put this stupid shirt on
and leave the house tonight,
446
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,541
and being in that...
447
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,294
horrible club just made me
miss staying home
448
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,004
and watching Love Island with Meredith.
449
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,215
Even though Meredith is a terrible person
450
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:16,883
who publicly rejected my proposal
451
00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:18,551
and took my cat in our breakup.
452
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,470
Oh! She got the cat?
453
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,639
No, not the cat. My cat.
454
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,100
My 11‐year‐old cat
that I rescued from a shelter,
455
00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:28,187
and named Girl so that
I could call her Jesse's Girl.
456
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,772
Oh my god...
457
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,569
And now you wish
that you had Jesse's Girl.
458
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,573
Like I said, I'm a mess, too.
459
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,660
Well, maybe we could
be friends that are messes
460
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,745
instead of two messes who try to date
461
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:49,374
because that would just
inevitably be... a mess.
462
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,420
Yeah, that sounds like
a really good plan.
463
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,799
Oh! Hello, everyone.
464
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,513
Why are you covered in poppy seeds?
465
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:04,973
Don't worry about it.
466
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,060
- I'll have another drink, please.
- Just the usual.
467
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,480
Gin martini with a twist
coming right up.
468
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,900
He has a usual! Jasper.
469
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,319
Jasper... He has a usual.
470
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,113
Yo, that's fire, man.
471
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:22,366
Yo, I need, uh, next Saturday off.
472
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,243
Um, also, right now, I'm leaving early.
473
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,745
Hey, buh‐buh‐buh! You got it, buddy.
Get out of here.
474
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,914
♪ Drops of Jupiter playing ♪
475
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,374
- Is this...
- Yes.
476
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,294
Drops of Jupiter.
I‐I know it's kind of cheesy,
477
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,297
but it's just...
sort of my comfort song.
478
00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:41,051
♪ With drops of Jupiter in her hair ♪
479
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,889
It was hard to live
in the moment in 2022.
480
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:48,975
There was always some place
else you could be,
481
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,727
someone else you could be with.
482
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:52,896
But every once in a while,
483
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,649
you found yourself in
the exact right spot.
484
00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,611
And you had that rarest of moments
485
00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:03,420
where you had absolutely no FOMO,
486
00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:06,935
and you could just... be.
487
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,580
♪ Hey... yeah ♪
488
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:11,748
♪ But tell me ♪
489
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:14,709
♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪
490
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,170
♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪
491
00:22:17,254 --> 00:22:19,881
♪ To see the lights are faded ♪
492
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:22,592
♪ And that Heaven is overrated? ♪
493
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,388
♪ Tell me, did you fall
from a shooting star? ♪
494
00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:29,182
♪ One without a permanent scar ♪
495
00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:30,767
♪ And did you miss me ♪
496
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,812
♪ While you looking for yourself ♪
497
00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,730
♪ Out there? ♪
37292
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