All language subtitles for American Dad - 17x07 - Beyond the Alcove or_ How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Klaus.BAE.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com
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Now, what if I seat Stan next to Greg?
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00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:10,074
It's aggressive,
it's bold, and I love it.
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00:00:10,076 --> 00:00:13,010
Francine, may I just say,
using custom chess pieces
4
00:00:13,012 --> 00:00:14,678
to plan a dinner party...
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00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,681
I'm having the time of my life.
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00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:17,749
Well, I'm not.
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00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,884
No matter how I play it out,
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00:00:19,886 --> 00:00:21,953
three or four moves down the line,
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00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:25,423
Klaus ruins my party by
talking about Dan Bilzerian
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00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:29,093
or 3-D printed guns or
something else douchey.
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00:00:29,133 --> 00:00:30,695
I need to go deeper.
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00:00:30,727 --> 00:00:33,231
Horse tranquilizer, m'lady?
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00:00:41,757 --> 00:00:44,175
Oookay!
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00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:45,977
Tuttle mingles with you...
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00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,912
Genius move, Francine.
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00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:50,047
I could see us talkin'
a little dog racing.
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00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,250
But look over here at Parker Deay.
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00:00:52,252 --> 00:00:54,786
Parker... Parker... Who is that?
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00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:56,921
Screams "Zooka Sharks" a lot.
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00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,390
The guy who takes tinder dates out
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00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,191
for hot-dog dinners at 7-Eleven?
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Love him. Okay, let's play this out.
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00:01:02,886 --> 00:01:03,928
Good, good!
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00:01:04,008 --> 00:01:06,931
Your eyes are sliding around,
so I assume it's working.
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00:01:06,933 --> 00:01:08,532
Bacon-wrapped dates!
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00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:12,136
Lava hot and wrapped real loose!
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00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,938
- Where did everyone go?
- They left.
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Klaus changed your spotify playlist
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00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:18,743
to a Marc Maron podcast from 2015.
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00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:21,279
Ohhh, this one is classic!
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His guest is a comedian
you've never heard of.
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Classic!
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,830
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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Aah!
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
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Mom, your guests are arriving!
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00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,586
One second!
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Just finishing up the table assignments!
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00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:09,327
Greg goes here, Tuttle here,
and Klaus sits here.
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00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,663
He-he-he-he-he.
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00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,667
Welcome to my dinner party!
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00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,070
It's wonderful to see you all again.
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00:02:18,072 --> 00:02:21,673
But maybe some of you don't
know Hayley's friend Nerfer.
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00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,609
Don't just stand there,
introduce yourself.
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00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:27,211
I'm Nerfer. I'm Hayley's friend.
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00:02:27,213 --> 00:02:29,747
I already said that. What else?
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00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,749
I work at the old Spaghetti Factory,
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but the new location,
which is pretty hilarious,
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because old and new are opposite words.
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Okay, that's enough.
You can listen, too.
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00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,094
Let's eat!
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00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,697
The salad looks delicious. Nice produce.
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00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,899
- Is this from my store?
- God, no.
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00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,634
But this tomato looks so familiar.
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00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,170
Look, I didn't steal it
from your store on Tuesday!
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00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,038
Francine, you need to do something.
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00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,440
Klaus's table is turning
into the damn last supper.
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00:02:56,442 --> 00:03:00,044
You hear "Bermuda triangle"
and you think "whoa,"
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but it really is a beautiful area.
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00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,248
It's crazy lush.
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00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,050
I never thought of it that way.
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00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,186
That's so interesting, Klaus!
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00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,922
The world's a big, interesting place.
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00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,057
I just try to keep my eyes open,
you know?
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00:03:13,059 --> 00:03:15,994
Ooh! Would you do your
Will Arnett impression again?
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00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:19,263
I really shouldn't... "Oh, come on!"
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00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,535
Is everybody laughing at Klaus?
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00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,937
No, we're laughing with Klaus.
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00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:30,875
So, you dogs are hungry for laughs?
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Well, roll over.
You got a bone coming your way.
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Hello. I'm Mrs Walrus.
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Anyone have any fish for me?
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00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:44,556
Are those tampons in your mouth?
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00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,691
Oh, tamp on!
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00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,101
He winked at me, Stan!
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00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,770
That little asshole winked!
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- At me!
- Who winked?
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00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,575
Klaus! He ruined my dinner party!
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00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,710
- He did?
- Of course he did!
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00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,779
He monopolized every conversation
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00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,247
I tried to butt into!
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00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,382
Well, he's been working
on his people skills.
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00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,718
I think everybody really
likes the new Klaus.
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00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,588
Yeah, I'd like to "nuke Klaus," too.
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00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,390
All the way [BLEEP]
back to the stone age.
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00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:21,126
Sounds like you're a
little jealous Klaus
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00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:23,128
got all the attention at your party.
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00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,529
Oh, yeah?
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00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:27,899
Well, it sounds like you're
wasting dental floss, you idiot!
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00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:34,072
I'm sorry I said
you were upset, my love.
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00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,077
Help me out with something, guys.
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00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:41,412
Klaus sucks, right?
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00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:43,348
I'm gonna have to reluctantly disagree.
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00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:46,017
Have you talked to him
about early cartoons?
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00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,418
He's super knowledgeable.
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00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,822
He's seen basically every
Pluto short on Disney+.
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00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,824
And all the Goofy features.
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00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,559
And all the Goofy features.
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00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,965
Why's everyone obsessed with Klaus?
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00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,967
I wouldn't say "obsessed."
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00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,636
He's just... I dunno...
likable, I guess.
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00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,571
Have you heard him rap?
He's pretty good.
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00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,774
♪ But you are what you eat,
so I'm a vagina ♪
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00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:11,643
♪ That means I eat ♪
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00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,979
The guy's an urban poet.
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00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,380
Nobody likes you, Klaus.
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00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:18,249
Oh, hey, Francine.
Sick dinner party last night.
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I don't know what all "this" is,
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00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:23,054
but I want it to stop right now.
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00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,523
Ah. Stan told me you were upset.
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00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:28,526
Look, I know I used to be
a real piece of shit.
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Guilty!
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00:05:29,729 --> 00:05:32,330
But, Francine, I've grown a lot.
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00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,467
Oh, wow, got a giant sequoia over here.
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00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:39,937
All right, Mr. Growth,
I'm gonna throw a real party tomorrow.
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A real party for bad bitches.
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We'll see who gets more attention.
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00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,548
What the [BLEEP] am I looking at?
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Now this is a party.
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Everyone, give me your attention!
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00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,291
I think we can all agree
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00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,828
last night's dinner party was terrible.
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00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,362
Aw, I liked your dinner party.
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00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,365
No, you didn't, Greg.
I'll tell you what you like.
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00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,766
Keg stands!
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00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,167
No, I'd rather not.
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00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:11,903
Grab his other leg, Roger.
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00:06:15,799 --> 00:06:16,974
Uh-oh!
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00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,376
The tap's broken!
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00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,912
You gotta drink the whole keg!
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00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,047
It's not broken!
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00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,849
Shut up, freshman scum!
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00:06:25,033 --> 00:06:27,119
Ummm, Franny...?
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00:06:29,418 --> 00:06:31,256
Wow!
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00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,924
Is this mahogany?
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00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:35,527
Thanks for noticing, Tuttle. It's not.
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00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:38,396
Oh, Nerfer, the other night,
you mentioned you like
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00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,399
hoppy IPAs, so I whipped up a home brew
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00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,800
I think you'll enjoy.
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00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,402
That's hecka posh.
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00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,939
Tuttle, Nerfer, what the hell?!
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00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,407
This is my party!
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00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,476
You're supposed to be
paying attention to me!
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00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,945
Klaus is more interesting
than you, okay?!
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00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,413
You need to learn to accept that!
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00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:59,016
I didn't want to do this,
but you left me no choice.
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00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:01,686
Gimme those!
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00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:04,089
Everyone look at me!
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00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:07,492
The amah-zing Francine will attempt
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00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:12,564
a never-before-seen roof-to-pool jump!
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00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:15,100
- Is mom okay?
- Oh, yeah, better than ever.
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00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,769
Women are complicated, Steve.
Don't drink that.
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00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,437
I'm gonna leave.
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00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,972
I'm gonna take off, too.
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00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,108
Is everyone okay to drive?
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00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,843
I can call each of you
a vintage yellow cab.
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00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:26,978
Shut up, Klaus!
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00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,980
Nobody's leaving!
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00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,715
I'm about to jump!
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00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,317
3...
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00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,851
2...
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00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:41,126
Well, at least
she still has her dignity.
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00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,861
I pooped my swimsuit!
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00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,064
I stand by my previous statement.
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00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,173
Easy now. You had quite a fall.
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00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:57,576
I saw them. My ancestors!
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00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:02,113
All my dear,
departed loved ones who died.
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00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,381
They spoke to me.
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00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,516
They told me they were just as confused
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00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,986
as I was why anybody likes you.
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00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,032
Even the caveman Francine!
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00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:13,191
People like me because
I work on myself, Francine.
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00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:15,326
I've been following a
strict lifestyle regimen
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00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,395
developed by Mark Wahlberg.
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00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,591
It forces me to grow physically,
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00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:23,334
mentally, spiritually,
metaphysically, metaspiritually,
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00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,271
super-meta-spiri-physi- tastically!
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00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:28,739
Okay, I made that one up as a joke.
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00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,341
I'm funny now, too.
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00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,544
I can't believe
I'm asking you this, but...
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00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,947
Will you teach me how to grow, too?
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00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,549
Of course! Congrats!
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00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:41,352
You're officially
enrolled in Klaus College,
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00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,588
a satellite campus of Wahlberg U.
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00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,228
Klaus, it's 2:00 A.M.
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00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:53,498
You're on Wahlberg time now.
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00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,766
As you can see,
the schedule is rigorous.
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00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:58,369
You'll start and end the
day with a 5-mile run.
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00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,705
In between,
you'll be reading self-help books,
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00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,707
meditating, belting out sea shanties,
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00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,043
learning basic IT, more shanties,
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00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,512
eating Wahlburgers, mastering Krav Maga,
198
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:10,849
and you might even cook
an exotic dish or two.
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00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,317
This is crazy.
200
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,719
There's no way Mark
Wahlberg does all that.
201
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,987
And then some.
202
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:18,122
He's a big ol' Catholic!
203
00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,058
Hits up mass 17 times a day
204
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:24,362
and leaves a DVD copy of
"Shooter" in every Bible.
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00:09:25,049 --> 00:09:27,198
♪ Yeah ♪
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00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,533
♪ You feel it, baby? ♪
207
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:29,801
♪ It's such a good vibration ♪
208
00:09:29,854 --> 00:09:31,670
Pick it up! Be like me!
209
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,338
Body and mind are one!
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00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,006
♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪
211
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:39,410
♪ Vibrations good like Sunkist ♪
212
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,812
♪ Many wanna know who done this ♪
213
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,480
♪ Marky Mark and I'm
here to move you ♪
214
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,748
♪ Rhymes will groove you ♪
215
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,616
- ♪ And I'm here to prove to you ♪
- Bang.
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00:09:45,618 --> 00:09:46,818
♪ That we can party
on the positive side ♪
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00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,287
♪ And pump positive vibes
so come along for the ride ♪
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00:09:48,364 --> 00:09:52,223
- These burgers are terrible.
- Yes. Very, very bad.
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00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,359
♪ It's such a sweet sensation ♪
220
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,094
Francine, what are you doing?
221
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,497
I'm becoming more interesting...
222
00:09:58,499 --> 00:10:01,166
like Klaus... and Mark Wahlberg.
223
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,301
Are you crazy? Klaus sucks!
224
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,969
I'm sending you something to remind you
225
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:06,171
what a loser Klaus is.
226
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,307
Welcome back to
227
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,376
my podcast, "Klaus of hearts,"
228
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:13,311
where we explore every interaction
229
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,646
I've had with a woman
at a Blackjack table.
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00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,449
Today, we'll be looking
at Pechanga Casino
231
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,452
on Christmas Eve, where dealer Janice F.
232
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,589
refused to answer the
simple icebreaker question,
233
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:28,659
"Don't you think it's time
to forgive Kevin Spacey?"
234
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,529
Klaus, where are you?
235
00:10:30,531 --> 00:10:33,331
I'm returning your self-help books!
236
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:37,868
I came to my senses and
realize you suck again!
237
00:10:44,967 --> 00:10:52,483
Off-brand soda, off-brand
Maxim magazine, filthy recliner?
238
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,485
I knew it!
239
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,487
You haven't changed, Klaus!
240
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,090
You're a big phony scumbag!
241
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,825
Oh, hi, Francine.
242
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,360
Jeffrey, I'm about to reveal
243
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:03,428
my sinister plan.
244
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,630
Is my fedora rakishly askew?
245
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:08,767
It's a strong look, Mr. Klaus!
246
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,101
I think it's hideous.
247
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,702
Aaaah!
248
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,108
So, what?
249
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,110
You hypnotized Jeff or something?
250
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,312
Is it that obvious?
251
00:11:23,069 --> 00:11:24,115
I'm over this.
252
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,183
No, wait!
253
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,385
Okay, long story short,
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00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,321
I learned to control
people using a technique
255
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,323
called "hypnotic anchoring."
256
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,858
Sounds boring, and I don't get it.
257
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,194
All right. How do I explain this?
258
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,796
Have you seen the movie "Get out"?
259
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:38,930
- No.
- Really?
260
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,531
Have you seen "Parasite"?
261
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,200
- Yeah.
- Good.
262
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,535
Not relevant here,
but I'm glad you saw it.
263
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,137
Bong Joon-Ho, man.
264
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,538
So sick.
265
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,208
Anyways, I hypnotized people to love me.
266
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,143
Take Jeff, for example.
267
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,679
First, I learned all about Jeff.
268
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,948
What makes him "tick," so to speak.
269
00:11:56,950 --> 00:12:00,315
And I discovered that
Jeff really likes weed.
270
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,319
I do!
271
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,956
So I filled my notebook
with fun facts and jokes
272
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,491
about marijuana.
273
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:09,227
Stuff that would make Jeff smile.
274
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,630
And every time he did...
275
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,034
And after several hundred of those...
276
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,702
Who do ya love, Jeff?
277
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,237
I love Klaus!
278
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:23,842
Soon, everyone in town
will think I'm so cool,
279
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,377
they'll be under my absolute control.
280
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:30,715
This is bogus, and I'm telling
Stan about your secret lair.
281
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:35,053
Hypnotizing you was my
greatest challenge, by far.
282
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:38,923
You resent me so much,
I couldn't crack your psyche.
283
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:42,327
So I looked to ultimate
mind-bender Mark Wahlberg
284
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:43,928
for inspiration.
285
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,396
I'm not hypnotized.
286
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,265
Remember this guy?
287
00:12:47,771 --> 00:12:48,833
Oh, my God!
288
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:54,405
Now, tell me, Francine...
289
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,541
How do I look?
290
00:12:57,355 --> 00:13:02,613
Klaus, I am loving your stupid fedora!
291
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,283
Mmm. A little more hypnosis.
292
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,791
_
293
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,228
What's happening?!
294
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,162
Francine, you're back!
295
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,232
- Where am I?
- You're in a cowboy tub.
296
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:23,435
I got us an airbnb, far away from Klaus.
297
00:13:23,437 --> 00:13:26,371
Come inside. They've got a
ton of incomplete board games.
298
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,440
You like "Trivial Pursuit"
without the questions?
299
00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:30,042
Where's the rest of the family?
300
00:13:30,044 --> 00:13:31,776
Oh, Francine, it's terrible.
301
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,645
You were right about
Klaus the whole time.
302
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,247
He hypnotized them all!
303
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,049
Where are they? Are they okay?
304
00:13:37,051 --> 00:13:38,516
I don't know. I only had room
305
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,184
for one of you and my luggage.
306
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,454
Roger, we need to go save them.
307
00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:44,789
It's just the desert is
so hot during the day
308
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:47,259
and so cold at night,
it's like having to pack
309
00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,394
for both the beach and skiing!
310
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,263
I probably didn't need
the snowboard, though.
311
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:52,997
That could've been Steve, I guess.
312
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,799
I guess I could've fit Hayley, too.
313
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,134
Weird.
314
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:59,471
I don't remember any
border checkpoints before.
315
00:14:00,384 --> 00:14:02,540
State your business in Langley Falls.
316
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:03,608
We live here?
317
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,277
Better let me handle this, Fran.
318
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:08,546
Hi, sir! Just so you know,
we love Klaus so much.
319
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,682
Klaus is the best, is what we say.
320
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:14,218
The only reason we left Langley
was to spread word of Klaus.
321
00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,356
In summary, we [BLEEP] love Klaus.
322
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,296
_
323
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,297
_
324
00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,499
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
325
00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:29,834
♪ I wanna marry Klaus some more! ♪
326
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:32,236
What the wtf?
327
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:33,972
They wanna marry Klaus?
328
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,775
Some more?! That's gross!
329
00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:40,845
You're gross!
330
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:41,913
Drive, drive!
331
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,850
Did you hear me call them "gross"?
332
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,119
Was that cool?
333
00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:49,253
I feel like I'm starring in "Jackass"!
334
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:50,989
Watch out!
335
00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:56,621
_
336
00:14:58,493 --> 00:14:59,594
_
337
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,201
There are few things in this world
338
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,470
I hate more than traveling by foot.
339
00:15:07,244 --> 00:15:08,873
It's your favorite dude, Klaus,
340
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:12,511
telling you to have a blessed day.
341
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:18,483
Is that Klaus on TV?
342
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,218
Langley is better than ever, Klaus.
343
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,820
Why is that?
344
00:15:21,822 --> 00:15:24,356
Well, Greg,
I made everyone think I'm cooler now,
345
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,491
and the town is cooler as a result.
346
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:29,227
- I don't think you're cooler.
- What?
347
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:31,363
I think you're the coolest.
348
00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,232
Wonderful, wonderful!
349
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,034
Do you see what he did there?
350
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,636
Still, I don't like it.
351
00:15:41,642 --> 00:15:44,176
Damn, he's hypnotized everybody.
352
00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:45,643
Be careful, Franny.
353
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,311
People might think you don't love Klaus.
354
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,380
Who doesn't love Klaus?
355
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,914
- Francine Smith.
- Roger!
356
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:53,051
Sorry, Franny,
but I'm a sucker for peer pressure.
357
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:55,420
And the peers are a-pressurin'.
358
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,229
Klauuuussss!
359
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,272
Guys, I'm back!
360
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:18,877
Please, Stan,
tell me you haven't fallen for Klaus!
361
00:16:19,534 --> 00:16:22,014
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
362
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:25,450
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
363
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:29,021
There she is!
364
00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:32,791
Thank you, boys,
for getting this menace off our streets.
365
00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,462
- _
- Where'd pink go?
366
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,365
Help!
367
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,701
Keep it down. You'll scare the cats.
368
00:16:42,703 --> 00:16:45,503
Sorry for the hood.
I had to tidy up a bit.
369
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:49,374
Trust me, this place was a disaster.
370
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:51,109
You live in the sewers?
371
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,711
It's not safe up there anymore.
372
00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:55,179
Me and Beezus just looked
at each other one day,
373
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:58,850
and we knew it was time
to form the resistance.
374
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,054
So... how's it going?
375
00:17:02,056 --> 00:17:03,588
Pretty good!
376
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,657
I sent a team of cats to
breach Klaus's alcove,
377
00:17:05,659 --> 00:17:08,326
and, boy, did they deliver.
378
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:15,400
Boop!
379
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,069
These cats are heroes.
380
00:17:17,071 --> 00:17:19,604
Klaus had entries for everyone in town.
381
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,540
"Francine Smith... loves drinking,
382
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:26,144
jealous streak,
mind-controlled by air horn."
383
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,946
They also found this.
384
00:17:27,948 --> 00:17:29,414
It's a failsafe phrase
385
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,750
to deactivate everyone Klaus hypnotized!
386
00:17:31,752 --> 00:17:34,619
"Enough with the hypnotism already."
387
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:37,155
It's a good one. Fiendishly simple.
388
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:39,491
If you can hijack Klaus's
broadcast and shout
389
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,493
that phrase, you'll save the town.
390
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:45,097
You can count on me.
391
00:17:45,099 --> 00:17:47,499
I have one more question.
392
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:48,967
May I play with your cats?
393
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,119
Roger was right.
394
00:18:07,121 --> 00:18:08,987
Klaus is the perfect subject.
395
00:18:08,989 --> 00:18:11,189
Enough with the hypnotism already!
396
00:18:12,239 --> 00:18:13,325
You're back!
397
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,728
I'm scared, mom.
398
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:18,396
Why was I painting Klaus?
399
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,599
Because Klaus is mind-controlling
400
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:23,802
everyone from the TV
studio in his alcove.
401
00:18:23,804 --> 00:18:28,307
He's ruined the entire town,
and we're gonna stop him.
402
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,343
Enough with the hypnotism already!
403
00:18:31,345 --> 00:18:32,477
Aah!
404
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:33,878
That's right, Klaus!
405
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,148
I know how to deactivate everyone!
406
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,151
Code twenty-niner in the alcove.
407
00:18:39,153 --> 00:18:40,619
Stan, what are you doing?
408
00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:42,354
Calling for backup.
409
00:18:42,356 --> 00:18:45,223
No offense, honey, but hypnosis
showed me how cool Klaus is.
410
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,360
Honestly, he deserves
to be dictator of Langley.
411
00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:50,762
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
412
00:18:50,764 --> 00:18:53,632
Maybe you should try
thinking Klaus is cool.
413
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:55,233
You just might find you like it.
414
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,701
Why isn't this working?
415
00:18:56,703 --> 00:19:00,639
You broke the hypnosis,
but you're too late.
416
00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:05,577
The belief in "cool Klaus"
is buried way too deep.
417
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,445
You lost, Francine.
418
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,113
Join the mob.
419
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,515
Come on!
420
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,985
I can't make them forget that he's cool.
421
00:19:12,987 --> 00:19:18,390
But what if I can make everyone
remember he's not cool?
422
00:19:18,392 --> 00:19:19,491
Capture her, Stan!
423
00:19:23,978 --> 00:19:26,732
Enough with the hypnotism already!
424
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:33,738
Even if they're not hypnotized,
they're still gonna love me.
425
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:37,009
I'm just getting warmed up, punk.
426
00:19:37,011 --> 00:19:38,677
Thanks to Mark Wahlberg,
427
00:19:38,679 --> 00:19:42,381
I'm now kind of trained in basic IT.
428
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:47,886
Citizens of Langley, you call this cool?
429
00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:51,423
Welcome back to "Klaus of hearts."
430
00:19:51,425 --> 00:19:53,291
Oh, shit.
431
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,561
On this episode,
I'm at the Hard Rock Casino,
432
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,563
alone on my birthday...
433
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,164
the way I've learned to like it.
434
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,835
Meanwhile, I'm trying to
protect a bachelorette party
435
00:20:03,837 --> 00:20:06,633
from some creep I hear
them whispering about.
436
00:20:06,668 --> 00:20:09,441
But the girls won't tell me
what floor their room is on!
437
00:20:09,443 --> 00:20:12,444
I ordered a buttery nipple
from the cocktail waitress,
438
00:20:12,446 --> 00:20:15,647
you know, to look like a G.
439
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,849
Then I got a call from
an unknown number.
440
00:20:17,851 --> 00:20:20,852
I answered it to cement my G status.
441
00:20:20,854 --> 00:20:23,187
And it was lucky I did,
because it turned out
442
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:26,591
to be my very last chance to act
443
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:29,994
before the warranty ran
out on my car or truck.
444
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:33,598
Another great birthday in the books.
445
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,802
♪ This guy's a loser! ♪
446
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:42,941
♪ Well, I still wanna watch TV ♪
447
00:20:42,943 --> 00:20:44,609
♪ Mom! ♪
448
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,679
♪ I know I said you ruined my life ♪
449
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:51,483
♪ But I need you ♪
450
00:20:51,485 --> 00:20:56,421
♪ Mommy! ♪
451
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:58,222
Mommy!
452
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,158
Have a great night!
453
00:21:02,182 --> 00:21:03,912
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
32483
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