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♪ ♪
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(audience laughter)
5
00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:49,916
JESS:
It was a scary week.
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00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,625
'Cause here's what you got to understand.
7
00:00:52,708 --> 00:00:54,416
A hit television show today–
8
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:57,500
a big hit television show–
what does it get?
9
00:00:57,583 --> 00:00:58,625
Ten million viewers.
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00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:01,166
Let's go crazy and say 15.
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00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:05,041
15 million viewers,
'cause this is a big, giant hit.
12
00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:07,208
Here's what you got to understand.
13
00:01:07,291 --> 00:01:10,333
I Love Lucy: 60 million.
14
00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:12,083
Oh, yeah. (chuckles)
15
00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:15,500
It's been a long time,
but I remember that week.
16
00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:18,416
That was a scary week.
17
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,291
It was a very scary week.
18
00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:22,750
Those guys scare too easy.
19
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,166
I'm from the Midwest.
20
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,083
I've lived through the Depression,
the Dust Bowl.
21
00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:27,250
I don't scare that easy.
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00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,500
But, yeah, it was a scary goddamn week.
23
00:01:30,583 --> 00:01:33,291
Department stores used to be
open late on Monday nights.
24
00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,250
Then they switched to Thursday night.
25
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,458
You know why?
26
00:01:36,541 --> 00:01:40,166
'Cause nobody was leaving home
during I Love Lucy on Mondays.
27
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:44,166
There was a significant drop-off
in the number of people using water
28
00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,500
between 9:00 and 9:30 on Monday nights.
29
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:47,833
Out of the blue…
30
00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:50,125
Everyone almost lost their jobs.
31
00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,875
Lucy and Desi almost lost their lives.
32
00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:54,375
Out of thin air.
33
00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,833
You're asking when did they find out?
34
00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,750
Same time as everyone else,
listening to Walter Winchell.
35
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:04,416
I'm minding my own business,
listening to Walter Winchell, and bam.
36
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,666
At the end of the broadcast.
37
00:02:06,750 --> 00:02:09,000
This is what you got to understand.
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00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:13,291
It wasn't small potatoes when Winchell
ended his broadcast by saying…
39
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,958
“Lucille Ball is a Communist.”
40
00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:18,500
Just like that.
41
00:02:18,583 --> 00:02:21,875
Lucille Ball is a member
of the Communist Party.
42
00:02:21,958 --> 00:02:24,833
-Yeah.
-And she'd already seen the magazine story
43
00:02:24,916 --> 00:02:28,250
about Desi when Winchell came on.
44
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:29,875
The magazine came out on Mondays,
45
00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:32,333
but her publicist brought her a copy
on Sunday night.
46
00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:34,500
What were they doing
when they first heard the news?
47
00:02:34,583 --> 00:02:35,500
What were they doing?
48
00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,750
I don't know
what Lucy and Desi were doing,
49
00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:41,000
but it was Lucy and Desi, so they were
either tearing each other's heads off
50
00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:42,583
or tearing each other's clothes off.
51
00:02:42,666 --> 00:02:45,791
ANNOUNCER (over radio): It's time,
America, time for Walter Winchell.
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00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,875
Presented to you by Gruen,
the Precision watch.
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00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:51,166
Gruen, the finest watch you can wear.
54
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,625
-Gruen, the finest watch you can give,
brings you the man… -(door opens)
55
00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:55,833
-DESI: Lucy, I'm home.
-(door closes)
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00:02:55,916 --> 00:02:58,791
LUCILLE: Where the hell have you been,
you Cuban dimwit?!
57
00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:00,208
DESI:
Oye, easy does it.
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00:03:00,291 --> 00:03:02,125
LUCILLE:
You philandering bongo player!
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00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,500
-DESI: I was playing cards with–
-(slap)
60
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,583
-Hey! I was playing cards with– coño.
-(slap)
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00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:07,708
-Oh, damn it.
-You tell me when it starts to hurt.
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00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:09,041
♪ ♪
63
00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:11,333
-LUCILLE: The boat? The… -DESI: Yes,
we were playing cards on the boat.
64
00:03:11,416 --> 00:03:14,166
LUCILLE:
Since last night? Since 27 hours ago?
65
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:16,250
-DESI: Yes.
-And you couldn't get to a phone?
66
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,416
-DESI: No.
-Why?
67
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,666
DESI:
I was passed out a lot of that time.
68
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:19,791
(Lucille groans angrily)
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00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:23,833
LUCILLE:
That's tomorrow's Confidential.
70
00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,583
DESI:
Why do you even read that magazine?
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00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,125
-LUCILLE: Why do I even–
Well, in this case… -(Desi groans)
72
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,208
…it's 'cause my husband's on the cover
with another woman.
73
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,916
So it caught my eye.
74
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,083
The story chronicles a night on the town
with you and the…
75
00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:34,625
DESI:
That's somebody's niece.
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00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:36,583
-LUCILLE: What the hell do I care if
it's somebody's niece? -From Westinghouse.
77
00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:38,500
That's the Westinghouse corporate–
You were there.
78
00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,041
That's the guy's niece.
79
00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:43,416
That picture was taken last summer.
80
00:03:44,916 --> 00:03:46,125
LUCILLE:
You're right.
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00:03:46,208 --> 00:03:48,833
This was taken
at the Westinghouse corporate retreat.
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00:03:48,916 --> 00:03:50,958
-DESI: Yes.
-I apologize.
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00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:54,000
-DESI: Hmm. Say, “Desi,
I apologize for doubting you…” -No.
84
00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:58,208
DESI: “…for I see now that this picture
was taken not last Wednesday night
85
00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:01,083
“but six months ago
at the Westinghouse corporate retreat,
86
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:03,666
and I will never doubt
your love for me again.”
87
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,833
-Say that.
-No, and you're doing it again.
88
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:08,125
You're pronouncing it “Westing-gouse.”
89
00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:09,625
DESI:
It is “Westing-gouse.”
90
00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,083
LUCILLE:
“Westinghouse.”
91
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,083
DESI:
Say, “G-H-O-S-T.”
92
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,208
LUCILLE:
“Ghost.”
93
00:04:15,291 --> 00:04:17,208
DESI:
You don't pronounce an “H” after a “G.”
94
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:18,791
“Westing-gouse.”
95
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:22,500
LUCILLE (breathlessly):
Everything in the magazine was made up?
96
00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:24,291
DESI:
I haven't read the story in the magazine,
97
00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:26,541
but unless the story's about me
playing cards on the boat…
98
00:04:26,625 --> 00:04:28,750
-LUCILLE (panting): It's not.
-Then, yes, it's made up.
99
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,458
Amor, get it through your head.
100
00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:33,833
-You are the only thing I want.
-(kissing)
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00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,500
LUCILLE:
Well, then you're an idiot.
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00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:37,291
-DESI: Ah, come here.
-(both moaning)
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00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:38,875
WINCHELL: The House Committee
on Un-American Activities is holding
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00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:40,375
a secret session in California.
105
00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,541
The most popular of all television stars
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00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:46,500
was confronted with her membership
in the Communist Party.
107
00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:50,583
-Wait! (panting)
-Wait.
108
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:51,750
Wait.
109
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,000
(panting)
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00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:55,666
What did he say?
111
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:58,875
He said, “The most popular
of all television stars was…”
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00:04:58,958 --> 00:05:02,166
“Was confronted with her membership
in the Communist Party.”
113
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:04,375
Yes.
114
00:05:04,458 --> 00:05:06,708
He could have been talking about
Imogene Coca.
115
00:05:06,791 --> 00:05:08,125
Fuck you.
116
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:10,625
He was not talking about Imogene Coca.
117
00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:22,208
(quiet chatter)
118
00:05:27,166 --> 00:05:28,875
VIVIAN:
This is nonsense.
119
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:32,083
It's nonsense, and it will get worse
before it gets better.
120
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:35,958
Little Rusty Hamer,
when he signed his contract–
121
00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:38,291
or the guardian,
whoever signs the contract for him–
122
00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:40,833
he had to sign a loyalty pledge.
123
00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:42,000
Did anyone know that?
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00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,500
Hmm?
125
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:47,208
Bill?
126
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:50,833
Bill?
127
00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:53,416
Is she talking to me?
128
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,708
Yeah.
129
00:05:54,791 --> 00:05:56,000
'Cause she knows I'm here?
She can see me?
130
00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:57,416
Yes.
131
00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:59,750
VIVIAN: Did you know Little Rusty
had to sign a loyalty pledge?
132
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:01,333
I don't know who the fuck Little Rusty is.
133
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:03,250
Rusty Hamer from The Danny Thomas Show.
134
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:04,666
-That's not his name.
-It is his name.
135
00:06:04,750 --> 00:06:06,458
-The littlest kid from Danny's show?
-Yes.
136
00:06:06,541 --> 00:06:08,541
Rusty is the character's name,
not the actor.
137
00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:11,583
They're both named Rusty.
Rusty Williams is played by Rusty Hamer.
138
00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:12,750
And Hamer's a Communist?
139
00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,541
He's seven years old.
140
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,791
-And he's interested in politics?
-No, imbecile.
141
00:06:16,875 --> 00:06:20,250
I'm saying he's seven years old
and they made him sign a loyalty pledge.
142
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,666
Uh-huh?
143
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,541
This is getting out of hand was my point.
144
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,583
Why isn't Danny Thomas's kid
named Rusty Thomas?
145
00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:27,916
Are you drunk?
146
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,708
It's 10:00 a.m., Vivian,
so, you know, of course.
147
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,416
Bob and Jess and I were up all weekend
148
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,916
working on the script
you're about to read,
149
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,041
so on behalf of all of us, I want to say
how much we appreciate your respect.
150
00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:40,500
Believe me, you do not want me
to read this sober.
151
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:42,458
I'm starting to get a little tired
of your casual insults.
152
00:06:42,541 --> 00:06:45,208
Well, my insults don't feel like
putting on a fucking tuxedo for you, kid.
153
00:06:45,291 --> 00:06:48,083
Jess, why don't you tell your supporting
cast that we don't work for him either.
154
00:06:48,166 --> 00:06:49,833
You all work for me!
155
00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:54,291
Wh… What you all
have to understand is this.
156
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,458
Here's what you have to understand.
157
00:06:58,541 --> 00:06:59,625
We're all tense.
158
00:07:07,208 --> 00:07:09,166
Seriously? That was it?
159
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:12,083
We're all tense.
And the cure for that is just do the show.
160
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,125
Normal production week.
161
00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:15,416
We're gonna need someone
to play Lucy and Ricky.
162
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,500
Those are critical roles.
163
00:07:16,583 --> 00:07:18,791
The two of them are in Desi's office
164
00:07:18,875 --> 00:07:20,583
meeting with the network
and the sponsor right now.
165
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,125
I'm sure there's an explanation.
This will all be over by show night.
166
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,958
One way or the other.
167
00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:25,208
Yeah. No.
168
00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:26,625
Let me be clear.
169
00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:28,458
I said, “This will all be over
by show night.”
170
00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:30,250
Bill said, “One way or the other.”
That's gallows humor.
171
00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,416
I said, “Yeah,” but I did not…
172
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,041
-The sooner you stop talking…
-Yeah.
173
00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:37,708
I think everyone's acquainted,
but let's go around. Joe.
174
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,833
Uh, Joe Strickland, CBS.
175
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,458
Howard Wenke, also CBS.
176
00:07:40,541 --> 00:07:42,583
Roger Otter, Philip Morris.
177
00:07:42,666 --> 00:07:45,125
Irwin Gotlieb, attorney for Desilu.
178
00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:47,791
Sam Stein, attorney for Lucille Ball.
179
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,333
Tip Tribby, VP of Public Relations
for Philip Morris.
180
00:07:50,416 --> 00:07:53,958
Tip, if Winchell had it cold,
he'd have used her name,
181
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,625
it would have been at the top of the show,
not the bottom,
182
00:07:56,708 --> 00:08:00,000
and this morning, we'd be reading about it
on the front page of every paper.
183
00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:01,541
-Am I right?
-Yes.
184
00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:02,875
They don't have it.
185
00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:05,541
Can you see where CBS might be concerned
that there's an it to have?
186
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:07,916
-Do you see that?
-Uh, couldn't follow you.
187
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,708
Lucy, you need to tell me right here
and now what the hell is going on.
188
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,375
You don't want to talk to my wife
like that, amigo.
189
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:13,750
Or what, Des, you're gonna beat me up?
190
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:14,916
Oh, she will.
191
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,166
So we're done with introductions?
192
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,333
I'm not a Communist,
I've never been a Communist,
193
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,125
but technically, yeah, I am.
194
00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:22,666
JOE:
Jesus Christ.
195
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:23,916
Do you get what's happening here?
196
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,416
Do you know that this is not funny?
197
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:28,041
Yes, I do get what's happening,
and, yes, I know it's not funny.
198
00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,250
-Lucy…
-My father died when I was very young.
199
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:33,083
I was raised by my mother and my
grandfather, a man named Fred C. Hunt.
200
00:08:33,166 --> 00:08:35,291
I'd like everyone but Howard
to leave the room.
201
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:37,250
Philip Morris pays for the show.
202
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,833
And they get their money's worth,
so give us a minute, would you?
203
00:08:40,916 --> 00:08:43,625
ROGER:
(sighs) She's smoking a Chesterfield.
204
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:46,125
Could she at least smoke one of
the seven brands Philip Morris offers?
205
00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:48,208
-Got it. Got it.
-(door opens)
206
00:08:48,291 --> 00:08:50,833
-Thank you.
-(sighs)
207
00:08:50,916 --> 00:08:52,333
(Desi clears throat)
208
00:08:53,541 --> 00:08:54,583
(door closes)
209
00:08:54,666 --> 00:08:57,750
Fred C. Hunt, my grandfather,
was a member of the party.
210
00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,208
This was in the early '30s.
I was in my early 20s.
211
00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:02,708
He never used the word “Communist.”
212
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:04,500
But he cared about workers,
the working man.
213
00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:09,083
He raised my little brother and me,
and I wanted to please him.
214
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,541
So I checked the box.
215
00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:14,083
Back then, it wasn't considered much worse
than being a Republican.
216
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,166
DESI:
Hmm.
217
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,833
-HOWARD: Have you been to a meeting?
-No.
218
00:09:16,916 --> 00:09:17,916
-Never?
-No.
219
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,916
-You were at a cocktail party,
later you found out that people… -No.
220
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,916
Have you ever subscribed
to a publication…
221
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,500
My entire relationship with Communism is,
20 years ago, I checked a box.
222
00:09:26,583 --> 00:09:28,458
Why is this coming out now?
223
00:09:28,541 --> 00:09:31,333
The committee investigated her
and cleared her.
224
00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:34,833
But then last week, uh, William Wheeler
convened a special session out here,
225
00:09:34,916 --> 00:09:38,750
a private session, called her in again,
and that's why we're sitting here.
226
00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:43,000
(sighs)
227
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,500
(Howard exhales sharply)
228
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:48,291
And nobody's picked it up?
229
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,125
Nobody's picked up the story.
230
00:09:50,208 --> 00:09:52,625
Not a single paper, not a single
news network, including your own.
231
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:56,583
Maybe.
232
00:09:56,666 --> 00:09:58,041
Maybe we're out of this.
233
00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,333
We just don't know yet.
234
00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:01,625
When will we?
235
00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:06,000
If you tape a show Friday night,
means you still have a show.
236
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,875
Okay.
237
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,583
-You and me,
-(door closes)
238
00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:24,791
we've been through worse than this.
239
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:26,625
(sighs) We have?
240
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:27,916
No.
241
00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:31,791
That's what I thought.
242
00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:33,250
(Desi clears throat)
243
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,583
Hey. The whole piece
was invented out of thin air?
244
00:10:36,666 --> 00:10:40,333
-Huh?
-Four pages, 1,500 words?
245
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:42,000
Are you being funny right now?
246
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:44,500
That is the second time
someone's asked me that this morning.
247
00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:46,708
I'm Lucille Ball.
When I'm being funny, you'll know it.
248
00:10:46,791 --> 00:10:49,333
-(chuckles)
-They invented the whole thing?
249
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,250
You don't think we got bigger fish to fry?
250
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:54,041
-They invented the whole thing?
-Yes, they invented the whole thing.
251
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:55,375
I was on the boat playing cards.
252
00:10:55,458 --> 00:10:57,875
They invented the whole thing,
and I'm angry at them.
253
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,541
And I'll do something about it,
but right now…
254
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,625
-Got it.
-Hmm.
255
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:01,958
Priorities.
256
00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:03,041
You're right.
257
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,208
Say that again. “Desi, you're right.”
258
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:06,875
No.
259
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,333
Everything's gonna be fine.
260
00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:13,500
Nothing's gonna happen to you.
I won't allow it.
261
00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:16,291
I just won't.
262
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,583
Hmm?
263
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,000
-You've never done that before.
-I know.
264
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,291
I've seen other people do it
in movies I've been in.
265
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:35,583
(Desi chuckles)
266
00:11:38,916 --> 00:11:41,583
For the love of God, old man,
this isn't hard.
267
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:44,625
Rusty Hamer plays Rusty Williams
on The Danny Thomas Show.
268
00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:47,500
He's in second grade,
and they made him sign a loyalty oath
269
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,875
when he signed his contract,
which I think is ugly.
270
00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,708
I don't know why this is tripping you up.
It wasn't confusing.
271
00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:54,791
There's no such thing as
The Danny Thomas Show.
272
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:57,583
It's called Make Room for Daddy.
Don't tell me comedy.
273
00:11:57,666 --> 00:11:59,666
And if Little Rusty is a Communist,
274
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,875
then I'm gonna beat the shit
out of a seven-year-old kid.
275
00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:03,708
-I have no problem with that.
-I'm done.
276
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,291
That, right there,
277
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,750
was funnier than anything
you've written so far this year.
278
00:12:07,833 --> 00:12:09,041
(chuckles)
279
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,208
That's not…
280
00:12:10,291 --> 00:12:12,791
-I've written plenty of funny…
-No.
281
00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:14,250
(doors opening)
282
00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:18,125
♪ ♪
283
00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:23,541
Good morning!
284
00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:29,125
Mm. Don Glass is directing this week?
285
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,083
-We'll be fine.
-(sighs)
286
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,333
You're wondering what's going on.
287
00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:35,416
No matter what's going on,
we all support you a thousand percent.
288
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:38,000
I'd like to find out what's going on
before I make that commitment.
289
00:12:38,083 --> 00:12:42,208
A long time ago, Lucy accidentally checked
the wrong box on her voter registration.
290
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,500
That's the first act
of a new episode right there.
291
00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,916
-Yeah, “Lucy Gets Blacklisted.”
-That's not a joke, Bob.
292
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000
You made the joke.
I just put the button…
293
00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:50,916
Last week, she testified
in a closed session.
294
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,750
-She was cleared.
-Okay.
295
00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:54,041
Yeah? She was cleared.
296
00:12:54,125 --> 00:12:56,708
So I don't know where Winchell
got his information, but it was wrong.
297
00:12:56,791 --> 00:12:59,083
As you can see, it was not picked up
by any newspaper.
298
00:12:59,166 --> 00:13:00,416
So let's do our show.
299
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,333
Jess, it's your stage.
300
00:13:02,416 --> 00:13:03,583
(clears throat)
301
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,208
I Love Lucy , episode 204.
302
00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:07,458
Season two, episode four.
303
00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,208
“Ethel and Fred Fight.”
304
00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:11,916
Teleplay by Bob Carroll,
Madelyn Pugh and myself.
305
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,500
Took three of you to write this one?
306
00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:16,500
Okay, come on. And directing this week,
Donald Glass is back with us.
307
00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:18,875
-Let's give him a hand. -(applause)
-Hey, thanks. It's good to be back.
308
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:25,291
JESS: Act one, “Interior,
the Ricardo's living room, night.”
309
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:27,208
Excuse me. Donald.
310
00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:29,166
-Y-Yes?
-Good morning. I'm Lucille Ball.
311
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,875
I sure know that, Lucy.
312
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:33,208
I wanted to make sure
because you haven't been here in a while.
313
00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,916
Is it because you've been
going through puberty?
314
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,250
I look young, yes,
but I went through it a long time ago,
315
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,083
and I haven't been here because
I've been directing at Danny Thomas.
316
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,833
WILLIAM:
With the Communist kid?
317
00:13:42,916 --> 00:13:44,083
-Fuck off.
-Jesus Christ.
318
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:45,541
LUCILLE:
You don't have to fuck off,
319
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:49,166
but you do need to know that Danny
does jokes– few people do it better.
320
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,958
I do physical comedy.
321
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:54,541
-I've seen every episode of the show.
-So have 60 million other people.
322
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,666
Are none of them
professional television directors?
323
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:57,666
DESI:
(chuckles) She's kidding.
324
00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:58,833
-I can tell.
-Ah.
325
00:13:58,916 --> 00:14:01,041
LUCILLE:
I'm hazing you a little, Donald.
326
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,541
It's just my way of saying
I have no confidence in you at all.
327
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,833
(laughs) All right, all right, all right.
328
00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:08,583
We haven't gotten off
to a great start this morning, I think.
329
00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:10,791
And I have no idea what the fuck
you were talking about, Bill.
330
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:12,875
Ah, Des, I'm begging you, don't ask.
331
00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,083
All right, no problem.
332
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,333
I just wanted to say that this show
is made by Desilu Productions,
333
00:14:17,416 --> 00:14:19,958
whose president
is speaking to you right now.
334
00:14:20,041 --> 00:14:24,208
And for the next 30 minutes, I don't want
to hear a word that is not in this script.
335
00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:25,708
-It's your stage.
-JESS: Thank you.
336
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:29,625
“Lucy's putting the finishing touches
on a fancy dinner table–
337
00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:31,458
good china, silver, et cetera.”
338
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,083
Uh, the table is set for four
but there are only three chairs.
339
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,791
-I-I should've put that in the,
in the stage direction. -JESS: Okay.
340
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,625
Well, technically, it's two chairs
and a piano bench.
341
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:39,875
For a total of?
342
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:41,291
Three chairs.
343
00:14:41,375 --> 00:14:43,333
JESS: “Lucy's putting the finishing
touches on a fancy dinner table–
344
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,875
good china, silver, et cetera.”
345
00:14:44,958 --> 00:14:47,791
Table's set for four
but there's only three chairs.
346
00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:48,958
“After a moment,
347
00:14:49,041 --> 00:14:50,375
“the door opens and Ricky enters.
348
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:52,750
“Lucy doesn't hear him.
349
00:14:52,833 --> 00:14:53,791
“Ricky tiptoes in back of her.
350
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,791
-Ricky puts his…”
-Why not?
351
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:57,750
Sorry?
352
00:14:59,083 --> 00:15:00,375
Why doesn't Lucy hear him?
353
00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:01,708
Well, he's about to do that thing
where you cover someone's eyes
354
00:15:01,791 --> 00:15:02,791
and you say, “Guess who.”
355
00:15:02,875 --> 00:15:04,083
I understand it's a setup.
356
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,166
I understand
357
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:06,875
why we need Lucy to not hear him.
358
00:15:06,958 --> 00:15:11,000
I just don't understand why, in an
apartment this size, Lucy doesn't hear–
359
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:15,458
or, for that matter, see– the front door
open when she's standing 12 feet from it.
360
00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:19,791
We'll work on that.
361
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:20,916
Thanks.
362
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,833
“Ricky tiptoes in back of her
and reaches around
363
00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:24,666
and covers her eyes with his hands.”
364
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:25,750
RICKY:
Guess who it is.
365
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,625
LUCY:
Bill? Pat?
366
00:15:27,708 --> 00:15:29,625
-Sam?
-No.
367
00:15:29,708 --> 00:15:31,458
-Ralph?
-JESS: “Ricky reacts to this.”
368
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:32,958
No, it's me.
369
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:35,750
Oh, yes, of course.
370
00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,166
Oh, hang on.
371
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,291
Are we supposed to believe
that Ricky believes that Lucy
372
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,166
-really doesn't know it's him?
-Want to do this now?
373
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:45,541
That Ricky believes that Lucy is
not only unfamiliar with his voice–
374
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:48,125
which, let's not forget,
has a Cuban accent–
375
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:50,666
but that he really believes
there are at least seven other men
376
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,000
who routinely walk into their apartment?
377
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:55,000
DESI (chuckles):
She has a pretty good point.
378
00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:58,041
-She has four or five pretty good points.
-JESS: All right.
379
00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,125
W-We'll write a better joke
or Ricky will know that Lucy's joking.
380
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:01,541
-Ah.
-BOB: We can change the names.
381
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:04,208
-Pedro, Pablo, Jose.
-What?
382
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:05,375
Because they're Spanish names.
383
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:07,166
I mean Latin names.
384
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:08,666
They're Cuban names.
385
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,416
(sighs) Thanks for
clearing that up, professor.
386
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,375
-I'm just, you know…
-JESS: Okay, “Ricky takes his hands away
387
00:16:12,458 --> 00:16:13,625
and turns her around.”
388
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:15,916
-No, it's me.
-Oh, yes, of course.
389
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,833
-Uh, uh…
-JESS: “She snaps her fingers
390
00:16:17,916 --> 00:16:20,041
-and pretends she can't remember
his name.” -(fingers snapping)
391
00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:22,083
-Very funny.
-“Ricky kisses her
392
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:23,291
and then notices the table setup.”
393
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:24,583
Hey, company for dinner?
394
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:25,958
-Uh-huh.
-Who is it?
395
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,583
JESS:
“Lucy elaborately ignores him.”
396
00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:30,166
LUCY: How do you like
the new water glasses, Ricky?
397
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,375
RICKY:
Who's coming for dinner, Lucy?
398
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,875
Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight?
399
00:16:33,958 --> 00:16:35,083
Lucy, who is it?
400
00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,708
Some people.
401
00:16:36,791 --> 00:16:37,958
(audience laughter)
402
00:16:38,041 --> 00:16:39,541
RICKY (annoyed):
Lucy…
403
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:44,333
Whom is coming here for dinner tonight?
404
00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:47,083
Whom? You mean besides “meem” and “youm”?
405
00:16:47,166 --> 00:16:49,000
(laughter)
406
00:16:49,083 --> 00:16:50,708
RICKY:
Never mind that. What are their names?
407
00:16:50,791 --> 00:16:53,750
-Fred and Ethel Mertz.
-Wait a minute.
408
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,750
I thought you said Fred and Ethel had a
big fight and they were mad at each other.
409
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:57,916
-They are.
-(audience laughter)
410
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,708
RICKY: I thought you said
they weren't speaking to each other.
411
00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:01,250
-They aren't.
-(audience laughter)
412
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,625
-And that he was staying at the Y.
-He is.
413
00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:06,083
-And that she won't let him in the house.
-She won't.
414
00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:11,041
Well, if they are and they aren't
and he is and she won't, how come?
415
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:12,708
Well…
416
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:15,541
Lucy Esmeralda McGillicuddy Ricardo.
417
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:16,875
Oh…
418
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:19,458
That's nice, but is the rhythm
getting old too early?
419
00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:20,750
We'll work on that.
420
00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:23,625
'Cause we want to live up to the quality
of the writing you were used to at RKO.
421
00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:29,458
-That was gutsy.
-That was…
422
00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:33,958
(chuckles) It was a joke about
the writing at RKO and not…
423
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,708
Yeah?
424
00:17:35,791 --> 00:17:37,750
Obviously not an insult aimed at Lucy.
425
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:39,708
♪ ♪
426
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:42,791
Looking back, it may have been
an insult aimed at Lucy.
427
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:44,750
Which was very unusual.
428
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:46,125
Lucy and I were close.
429
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,708
-(laughs)
-JESS: Okay, let's take it from…
430
00:17:49,791 --> 00:17:51,458
OLDER MADELYN:
Look, she was always tough on the writing,
431
00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:53,333
she pressed down hard on each beat,
432
00:17:53,416 --> 00:17:55,791
but that week…
433
00:17:55,875 --> 00:18:00,083
it was like her life depended on
whether a joke was a “B” or “B”-plus.
434
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,875
JESS: “She tries to make her way past him
on her way to the kitchen,
435
00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:04,125
but he holds out his hand
and blocks the way.”
436
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,458
OLDER BOB:
There was a Broadway show
437
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:07,625
called Too Many Girls.
438
00:18:07,708 --> 00:18:08,833
It was terrible.
439
00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:11,791
One of the stars of
Too Many Girls was Desi.
440
00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:14,041
Too Many Girls.
441
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:18,625
RKO decided to make
a very bad Broadway show into–
442
00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:22,041
and I still can't believe it–
an even worse movie.
443
00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:25,541
They kept Desi in the cast,
but the second female lead was replaced
444
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:28,333
by the queen of the “B” movies,
Lucille Ball.
445
00:18:28,416 --> 00:18:30,166
A couple of days before shooting started,
446
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:34,791
Desi was on a soundstage working with
a piano and a drum and Ann Miller.
447
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,166
Here's what you have to understand.
448
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:42,041
A more handsome, charming man than Desi
you've never met.
449
00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:45,708
Standing off, away from
the pack of chorus girls, is Lucy,
450
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,208
who was unrecognizable because
she was still in the middle of shooting
451
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,791
Dance, Girl, Dance,
playing a burlesque girl
452
00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:53,541
who'd just been beaten up by her pimp.
453
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:56,333
So she was… unrecognizable.
454
00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:58,083
That's how they met.
455
00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:00,750
DESI:
♪ She could shake the maracas ♪
456
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,375
(piano and bongo drum playing
“She Could Shake the Maracas”)
457
00:19:02,458 --> 00:19:05,041
-♪ He could play the guitar ♪
-(women giggling)
458
00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:06,875
♪ But he lived in Havana ♪
459
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:09,750
♪ And she down in Rio del Mar ♪
460
00:19:09,833 --> 00:19:11,750
(giggling continues)
461
00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:15,166
-♪ And she shook the maracas ♪
-(rhythmic shaking)
462
00:19:15,250 --> 00:19:18,750
♪ In a Portuguese bar ♪
463
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,625
♪ While he strummed in Havana ♪
464
00:19:20,708 --> 00:19:23,416
♪ The distance between them was far ♪
465
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,291
♪ But by and by ♪
466
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:32,541
♪ He got a job with a band in Harlem ♪
467
00:19:32,625 --> 00:19:36,541
♪ She got a job with a band in Harlem ♪
468
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,583
♪ Ay, ay, ay ♪
469
00:19:39,666 --> 00:19:41,375
(rhythmic tapping)
470
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,416
♪ He said, “I'm the attraction” ♪
471
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:52,208
♪ She said, “I am the star” ♪
472
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,208
♪ But they finally married ♪
473
00:19:54,291 --> 00:19:58,333
♪ And now see how happy they are ♪
(chuckles)
474
00:19:58,416 --> 00:20:01,583
♪ So shake your maracas ♪
475
00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:04,750
♪ And play your guitar. ♪
476
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,583
-(cheering, laughing)
-(song ends)
477
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:07,875
Thank you.
478
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:09,416
-Mr. Arnaz?
-Yes.
479
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:13,375
I'm Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha III,
but just my mother calls me that.
480
00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:14,833
-Desi. Desi.
-I'm Angie.
481
00:20:14,916 --> 00:20:17,083
I'm in the chorus and I wanted to say
I'm looking forward to working with you.
482
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:18,958
-I'm looking forward, too, Angie.
-(laughs)
483
00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,750
-Patty.
-Patty.
484
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:22,750
-Uh, short for Patricia?
-Yes.
485
00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:25,583
-DESI: Also in the chorus?
-Mm-hmm. Dancing chorus.
486
00:20:25,666 --> 00:20:28,416
-Oh. -LUCILLE: “Do you remember
the first time we met?
487
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:34,833
You were rudely attentive,
but now you're obnoxiously indifferent.”
488
00:20:34,916 --> 00:20:36,625
What?
489
00:20:36,708 --> 00:20:39,625
It's a line from our movie, dumb-dumb.
490
00:20:39,708 --> 00:20:41,583
Do we know each other?
491
00:20:41,666 --> 00:20:43,291
(chuckles)
492
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,791
No.
493
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:47,250
WOMAN:
Desi?
494
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,458
-I'm Daisy.
-(guitar playing gentle lullaby)
495
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:52,666
DESI:
♪ A la nanita nana ♪
496
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:57,083
♪ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♪
497
00:20:57,166 --> 00:20:59,541
♪ Mi niña tiene sueño ♪
498
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:03,416
♪ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♪
499
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:10,208
♪ Calla mientras la cuna se balancea ♪
500
00:21:10,291 --> 00:21:17,750
♪ A la nanita nana, nanita ella ♪
501
00:21:18,750 --> 00:21:21,083
♪ A la nanita nana ♪
502
00:21:21,166 --> 00:21:25,166
♪ Nanita ella, nanita ella ♪
503
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:27,708
♪ Mi niña tiene sueño ♪
504
00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:31,208
♪ Bendito sea, bendito sea ♪
505
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,750
-♪ Mi… ♪
-(music stops)
506
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:37,000
“Do you remember the first time we met?”
507
00:21:37,083 --> 00:21:40,333
If we'd met, I'd remember.
508
00:21:40,416 --> 00:21:42,250
“You were rudely attentive,
but now you're obnoxiously…”
509
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:44,041
Wait.
510
00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:46,458
-That was you?
-”…indifferent.”
511
00:21:46,541 --> 00:21:48,250
That was me, yeah.
512
00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,583
-This studio has talented makeup artists.
-“I'm Angie.
513
00:21:50,666 --> 00:21:51,875
“I'm in the chorus.
514
00:21:51,958 --> 00:21:53,916
I just want to say, when I drink,
I take off my clothes.”
515
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,708
-(laughs)
-I'm so curious, I have to ask.
516
00:21:56,791 --> 00:21:59,208
How did you know
Patty was short for Patricia?
517
00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:01,250
-My name is Desiderio Alberto Arnaz…
-Ah.
518
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,208
I don't have that kind of time.
519
00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:06,541
And you're Lucille Ball.
520
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:10,666
Use a line on me
you've never road-tested on anyone.
521
00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:11,750
I dare you.
522
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,125
(strumming guitar)
523
00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:17,958
Would you like to learn how to rumba?
524
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:21,666
All right. Nice.
525
00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:23,291
And, yes, I would.
526
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:26,375
-Ah. -But there's absolutely no chance
you haven't used that before.
527
00:22:26,458 --> 00:22:28,625
(band playing “Rumba Internacional”)
528
00:22:28,708 --> 00:22:30,708
-(lively chatter, laughter)
-(music continues)
529
00:22:49,958 --> 00:22:51,250
Mm-hmm.
530
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:57,041
-(laughs) -I want you to know
I'm not trying to be forward.
531
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:59,041
I'm showing you this
because it'll come in handy
532
00:22:59,125 --> 00:23:01,500
for your rumba number in the movie.
533
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:04,000
I don't have a rumba number in the movie.
534
00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:06,041
-No rumba?
-No.
535
00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:09,708
Oh, that's a sign
of a poorly written screenplay.
536
00:23:09,791 --> 00:23:11,291
(chuckles)
537
00:23:11,375 --> 00:23:13,583
Well, we should dance to something else.
538
00:23:13,666 --> 00:23:15,500
Sure.
539
00:23:15,583 --> 00:23:17,583
(band playing slow jazz music)
540
00:23:22,791 --> 00:23:25,000
Why did you come to Hollywood?
541
00:23:27,458 --> 00:23:29,416
I got kicked out of New York.
542
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:32,333
-Seriously.
-I mean it.
543
00:23:32,416 --> 00:23:35,625
I got kicked out of acting school
for not being good enough.
544
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:39,333
-Get out of here.
-I will not.
545
00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:46,791
I got some modeling work,
I was hired and fired as a Ziegfeld Girl
546
00:23:46,875 --> 00:23:50,541
but hired as a Goldwyn Girl,
and that's what took me out here.
547
00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,041
Hmm.
548
00:23:52,125 --> 00:23:53,791
Why did you come to Hollywood?
549
00:23:53,875 --> 00:23:56,083
The Bolsheviks burned my house down.
550
00:23:58,708 --> 00:24:01,500
-So a different reason.
-Mm, yeah.
551
00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:05,083
-♪ Lucille ♪
-(playing gentle music)
552
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:10,708
♪ There's not much
that rhymes with “Lucille” ♪
553
00:24:10,791 --> 00:24:12,333
♪ Mm… ♪
554
00:24:12,416 --> 00:24:14,875
♪ Bastille ♪
555
00:24:14,958 --> 00:24:18,958
♪ But who'd write a song about that? ♪
556
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:21,958
(footsteps approaching)
557
00:24:22,041 --> 00:24:24,041
(plays gentle guitar riff)
558
00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:28,291
I borrowed part of your tuxedo.
559
00:24:36,333 --> 00:24:37,375
(Desi clears throat)
560
00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:40,750
It comes with pants,
but, uh, I'm wearing them.
561
00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:42,666
Not for long, pal.
562
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:47,416
So…
563
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:48,875
Yes?
564
00:24:48,958 --> 00:24:50,416
Can I call you Lucy?
565
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:52,916
I think we should
keep this professional, don't you?
566
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:55,958
-I was kidding.
-So was I.
567
00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:58,541
Mm. Nice dry delivery.
568
00:24:58,625 --> 00:25:02,083
Uh, what's your, mm…
569
00:25:02,166 --> 00:25:03,166
ambition?
570
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:05,208
My ambition? For tonight?
571
00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:06,833
I wasn't making myself clear?
572
00:25:06,916 --> 00:25:09,083
No, I don't mean ambition.
573
00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:10,541
Ay, what do I mean?
574
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:12,375
Uh…
575
00:25:12,458 --> 00:25:14,250
-Goals?
-No.
576
00:25:14,333 --> 00:25:16,250
Mm… future.
577
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:18,500
-Dreams.
-What are my future dreams?
578
00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:20,291
I should've stuck with ambition.
579
00:25:20,375 --> 00:25:21,583
Are you interviewing me?
580
00:25:21,666 --> 00:25:22,875
Yes.
581
00:25:22,958 --> 00:25:24,583
Okay.
582
00:25:24,666 --> 00:25:26,041
I live in a small house.
583
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:27,625
And your ambition is
to live in a bigger house.
584
00:25:27,708 --> 00:25:29,291
My ambition is to live in a home.
585
00:25:29,375 --> 00:25:31,375
Like for old folks?
586
00:25:31,458 --> 00:25:34,458
Not a home, not an institution.
587
00:25:34,541 --> 00:25:36,291
-A home.
-Ah.
588
00:25:36,375 --> 00:25:38,625
With a family and dinnertime.
589
00:25:38,708 --> 00:25:41,208
Can I ask an impertinent question?
590
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:43,750
You gonna ask me why I'm not married?
591
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:46,166
No, I was going to ask you
why you're not a movie star.
592
00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:50,583
Why are you playing the second female lead
in Too Many Girls?
593
00:25:50,666 --> 00:25:52,375
I'm a contract player at RKO.
594
00:25:52,458 --> 00:25:54,333
I play the roles I'm told to play.
595
00:25:54,416 --> 00:25:56,250
My career's gone as far as it's gonna go.
596
00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:58,500
It's hit cruising altitude.
597
00:25:58,583 --> 00:26:00,166
I'm at peace with that.
598
00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:02,916
So I'd like to be at peace.
599
00:26:04,083 --> 00:26:05,250
I want a home.
600
00:26:05,333 --> 00:26:09,166
You have a lot more talent than the roles
you play have allowed you to exhibit.
601
00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:11,000
Now, how would you know I have talent?
602
00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:12,958
Because I have talent.
603
00:26:13,041 --> 00:26:16,166
You could be a serious actor.
You should be a star by now.
604
00:26:17,375 --> 00:26:19,416
-But…
-But what?
605
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:22,000
There is also something about
your physicality. You are, you are…
606
00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:23,208
Half naked?
607
00:26:23,291 --> 00:26:25,750
Uh, sure.
608
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:28,375
-But…
-But?
609
00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:32,125
You, uh… There isn't an English word.
610
00:26:32,208 --> 00:26:35,875
Tú estás… dotada cineticamente.
611
00:26:35,958 --> 00:26:37,041
What does that mean?
612
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:40,916
It means you're kinetically gifted.
613
00:26:42,416 --> 00:26:43,916
No one's noticed that?
614
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,208
♪ ♪
615
00:26:52,083 --> 00:26:54,083
(panting)
616
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,000
♪ ♪
617
00:27:19,333 --> 00:27:21,083
Hi. Sorry.
618
00:27:21,166 --> 00:27:23,250
I need to use the phone to call my fiancé.
619
00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:24,541
Sure.
620
00:27:25,916 --> 00:27:27,291
Wait, what?
621
00:27:27,375 --> 00:27:29,041
It'll just take a second.
622
00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:31,666
Your fiancé?
623
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:33,250
Outside line please.
624
00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:35,958
-I mean, not that I haven't…
-(dialing)
625
00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:39,166
It's just that I got the sense that we…
626
00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:40,500
-One sec.
-Yeah.
627
00:27:40,583 --> 00:27:41,708
(dialing)
628
00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:44,000
Last night, I felt it was…
629
00:27:44,083 --> 00:27:46,416
It's me. Hey.
630
00:27:46,500 --> 00:27:48,041
You don't love me, and I don't love you,
631
00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:49,541
and you cheat on me
every chance you can get,
632
00:27:49,625 --> 00:27:52,625
and I pretend I'm stupid,
so I'm moving out.
633
00:27:52,708 --> 00:27:55,875
I'll send someone
to pick up my clothes, okay?
634
00:27:55,958 --> 00:27:58,791
Love you. But, you know, not really.
635
00:28:00,166 --> 00:28:03,250
I interrupted you. What were you saying?
636
00:28:03,333 --> 00:28:05,291
(laughs)
637
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:07,375
JESS:
And we fade to black. End of show.
638
00:28:08,666 --> 00:28:09,666
Thank you.
639
00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,041
Notes upstairs.
640
00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:14,208
-ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Back onstage
in an hour. -(soundstage bell rings)
641
00:28:14,291 --> 00:28:15,333
-All right.
-All right.
642
00:28:15,416 --> 00:28:16,541
-We'll see ya.
-Yeah.
643
00:28:16,625 --> 00:28:18,333
-Okay, honey. See you in a bit.
-Mm-hmm.
644
00:28:18,416 --> 00:28:20,291
(indistinct chatter)
645
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:26,250
-(door closes)
-(chatter quiets)
646
00:28:34,791 --> 00:28:36,791
(footsteps receding)
647
00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:39,291
(Desi exhales heavily)
648
00:28:42,666 --> 00:28:43,666
It's madness.
649
00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:44,958
Yeah?
650
00:28:45,041 --> 00:28:47,500
I thought you'd be the first one
to refuse to work with her.
651
00:28:47,583 --> 00:28:49,000
You mean that?
652
00:28:49,083 --> 00:28:51,125
Mm.
653
00:28:51,208 --> 00:28:52,750
You're not fond of Communists.
654
00:28:55,208 --> 00:28:57,250
I'm less fond of the committee.
655
00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:58,750
Ah.
656
00:29:00,958 --> 00:29:03,416
(grunts, sighs)
657
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:05,500
♪ ♪
658
00:29:07,583 --> 00:29:08,583
Des.
659
00:29:08,666 --> 00:29:10,833
Hmm?
660
00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:13,375
When the soldiers came
661
00:29:13,458 --> 00:29:15,083
for your family…
662
00:29:17,208 --> 00:29:18,666
…how scary was it?
663
00:29:22,708 --> 00:29:27,208
You're giving me that look that says,
“I don't get scared of nothing.”
664
00:29:28,958 --> 00:29:30,958
Uh… (sighs)
665
00:29:31,041 --> 00:29:33,333
They killed all the animals.
666
00:29:33,416 --> 00:29:34,833
Uh, not-not for food.
667
00:29:34,916 --> 00:29:37,750
They just killed all the animals.
668
00:29:38,791 --> 00:29:40,291
I still don't know why they did that.
669
00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:41,500
Uh…
670
00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:49,166
It's six to five and pick 'em
671
00:29:49,250 --> 00:29:52,541
we've already done
the last episode of this show.
672
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:55,166
This show, everyone who works here,
673
00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:58,333
Desilu, Lucy's whole career– mine, too–
674
00:29:58,416 --> 00:30:01,500
it may have ended last night
and we just don't know it yet.
675
00:30:04,416 --> 00:30:06,291
Are you out of your mind?
676
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:08,125
I get plenty scared.
677
00:30:12,166 --> 00:30:14,166
(footsteps receding)
678
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:19,875
Fucking madness.
679
00:30:28,708 --> 00:30:30,708
♪ ♪
680
00:30:39,791 --> 00:30:40,916
Lucy?
681
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,625
Come on in.
682
00:30:43,708 --> 00:30:46,833
Madelyn was way out of line,
and I'll talk to Jess.
683
00:30:46,916 --> 00:30:49,291
-No, I don't care about that.
-I care about it.
684
00:30:49,375 --> 00:30:51,750
You told them I checked the wrong box.
685
00:30:51,833 --> 00:30:53,041
Who?
686
00:30:53,125 --> 00:30:55,583
Before the table read.
You told them I checked the wrong box.
687
00:30:55,666 --> 00:30:58,250
Ah. (sighs)
688
00:30:58,333 --> 00:31:02,708
Uh, uh, well, it takes fewer words
to say that than the truth.
689
00:31:02,791 --> 00:31:04,375
Doesn't make me look like a simpleton
690
00:31:04,458 --> 00:31:06,875
who's ill-equipped
to participate in democracy?
691
00:31:06,958 --> 00:31:09,458
It was simpler,
and it's nobody's goddamn business.
692
00:31:09,541 --> 00:31:11,500
Well, no.
693
00:31:11,583 --> 00:31:13,458
Pretty obviously
it's everybody's goddamn business.
694
00:31:13,541 --> 00:31:15,958
(sighs):
Ay.
695
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:18,375
(sighs)
696
00:31:18,458 --> 00:31:20,625
You-you… you don't have to keep
checking the papers.
697
00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:23,875
I've got people who'll let me know
the moment an editor thinks about it.
698
00:31:23,958 --> 00:31:25,791
There's something wrong
with the story, they know it,
699
00:31:25,875 --> 00:31:27,791
and that's why
no one's reporting on Winchell.
700
00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:31,250
No. The Confidential story.
701
00:31:31,333 --> 00:31:33,041
That's what's getting picked up.
702
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:35,291
♪ ♪
703
00:31:35,375 --> 00:31:36,791
(Desi sighs)
704
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:42,708
(groans, mutters)
705
00:31:51,583 --> 00:31:53,541
I like this a lot, Tommy.
706
00:31:53,625 --> 00:31:55,791
-That's a great color for you.
-Oh, I really like this.
707
00:31:55,875 --> 00:31:57,625
And I can cinch the back a little.
708
00:31:57,708 --> 00:31:59,833
-I can lower the neckline.
-Oh, not on CBS you can't.
709
00:31:59,916 --> 00:32:01,458
(both laugh)
710
00:32:01,541 --> 00:32:03,083
But still, now we're talking.
711
00:32:03,166 --> 00:32:04,500
Now we're cooking with gas.
712
00:32:04,583 --> 00:32:07,583
-Should I bring out some shoes?
-Oh, yes, please.
713
00:32:08,875 --> 00:32:10,750
(wolf whistle)
714
00:32:10,833 --> 00:32:11,916
Yeah?
715
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,416
That's a nice dress.
716
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:15,625
I thought so, too.
717
00:32:15,708 --> 00:32:18,041
You borrowing it from wardrobe
for a cocktail party?
718
00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:19,500
(sighs) Dinner party.
719
00:32:19,583 --> 00:32:20,583
Where?
720
00:32:20,666 --> 00:32:23,583
The apartment of Ricky and Lucy Ricardo.
721
00:32:23,666 --> 00:32:24,666
This is for the show?
722
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,958
-Lucy's invited Ethel…
-Oh, Viv.
723
00:32:27,041 --> 00:32:28,125
I know, but listen.
724
00:32:28,208 --> 00:32:29,833
I'm thinking Lucy's invited her to dinner.
725
00:32:29,916 --> 00:32:33,333
She thinks she's being fixed up
with an eligible guy.
726
00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:34,750
She'd want to look nice.
727
00:32:36,916 --> 00:32:38,625
It's something new for the character.
728
00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:41,208
LUCILLE: But the character's
still Ethel Mertz, right?
729
00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:42,500
Yeah.
730
00:32:46,375 --> 00:32:47,291
Hey, don't.
731
00:32:47,375 --> 00:32:50,000
“Does Desi Love Lucy Loosely?”
732
00:32:50,083 --> 00:32:51,791
They took time on that.
733
00:32:51,875 --> 00:32:54,750
“If neighbors hear screams of rage
followed by the sound of…”
734
00:32:54,833 --> 00:32:56,750
-Isn't there enough going on with…
-”…breaking crockery coming from
735
00:32:56,833 --> 00:32:58,958
-the Arnaz house this month…”
-I'd be more concerned about…
736
00:32:59,041 --> 00:33:00,791
“…they'll know what is happening
without having to investigate.
737
00:33:00,875 --> 00:33:02,458
“The red-haired missus
has just finished reading
738
00:33:02,541 --> 00:33:03,875
-Confidential's report on…”
-In your life, have you ever
739
00:33:03,958 --> 00:33:05,708
taken this stuff seriously?
740
00:33:05,791 --> 00:33:07,916
I take my marriage seriously.
741
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,708
And Desi said?
742
00:33:09,791 --> 00:33:13,166
“Lucy, I ain't been with no girls
since the moment I saw you.”
743
00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:15,125
-Then believe him.
-I do believe him.
744
00:33:15,208 --> 00:33:16,541
It's an old picture.
We were there together.
745
00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:18,375
He was playing cards
on the boat Wednesday.
746
00:33:18,458 --> 00:33:20,458
You'd be more concerned about what?
747
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:23,041
-What? -You said
you'd “be more concerned about,”
748
00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:24,166
and I cut you off.
749
00:33:24,250 --> 00:33:25,291
The Winchell broadcast?
750
00:33:25,375 --> 00:33:26,958
Yeah.
751
00:33:27,041 --> 00:33:29,000
I don't get to choose just one.
752
00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:31,458
I'm concerned with both,
the first thing, second thing.
753
00:33:31,541 --> 00:33:33,833
Understood. What about the third?
754
00:33:33,916 --> 00:33:35,291
What'd they say?
755
00:33:35,375 --> 00:33:38,708
We didn't think yesterday was the best day
to tell them about the third thing.
756
00:33:38,791 --> 00:33:40,583
-Right.
-We're doing it now.
757
00:33:40,666 --> 00:33:45,000
First Jess, then the network,
then Philip Morris.
758
00:33:46,083 --> 00:33:47,958
Could be worse.
759
00:33:48,041 --> 00:33:49,208
How?
760
00:33:49,291 --> 00:33:51,083
You could be playing Ethel.
761
00:33:51,166 --> 00:33:52,666
Got it.
762
00:33:53,666 --> 00:33:55,666
♪ ♪
763
00:34:00,666 --> 00:34:02,666
(phone ringing in distance)
764
00:34:06,125 --> 00:34:08,291
Is Lucy on the phone too long at the top?
765
00:34:08,375 --> 00:34:11,791
We only hear one side of the call.
Are we staying too long at the fair?
766
00:34:13,208 --> 00:34:15,958
You don't need to write down
everything we say in here.
767
00:34:19,708 --> 00:34:21,250
We'll know when it's on its feet.
768
00:34:21,333 --> 00:34:22,666
-(knocking)
-DESI: Good morning.
769
00:34:22,750 --> 00:34:24,625
Morning, guys.
770
00:34:24,708 --> 00:34:25,791
Hey.
771
00:34:25,875 --> 00:34:28,041
Mary Pat, would you mind
giving us the room for a moment please?
772
00:34:28,125 --> 00:34:30,750
-Of course, Mr. Arnaz.
-Thank you.
773
00:34:36,458 --> 00:34:38,958
-“Of course, Mr. Arnaz.”
-She's nice.
774
00:34:39,041 --> 00:34:40,166
You're in enough trouble.
775
00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:41,458
LUCILLE:
You're not in trouble.
776
00:34:41,541 --> 00:34:43,000
We need to talk.
777
00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:45,125
-No, don't tell me…
-No, no, no, no. No, we're…
778
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,208
No, no, we're still okay.
779
00:34:46,291 --> 00:34:47,458
-No one's picked up the story.
-JESS: All right.
780
00:34:47,541 --> 00:34:48,791
(chuckles): Looking at Lucy's face,
I thought for sure…
781
00:34:48,875 --> 00:34:50,208
I'm pregnant.
782
00:34:51,625 --> 00:34:52,625
(chuckles softly)
783
00:34:54,666 --> 00:34:56,500
That's not at all what I was gonna say.
784
00:34:56,583 --> 00:34:58,458
That's what we came to talk about.
785
00:34:58,541 --> 00:35:01,416
We were gonna have this conversation
yesterday, but other things were…
786
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:04,000
-Yeah, yeah, sure.
-Well, this is a one-two punch.
787
00:35:04,083 --> 00:35:05,541
It's not a punch. I'm having a baby.
788
00:35:07,083 --> 00:35:09,041
What do we do now?
789
00:35:12,833 --> 00:35:15,041
I know it seems like
no one said congratulations,
790
00:35:15,125 --> 00:35:16,750
-but that cannot be, as these are
three of… -JESS: No, no, no, no.
791
00:35:16,833 --> 00:35:18,541
-…our closest friends and colleagues.
-You're right. You're right. Sorry.
792
00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:19,916
-Oh, it's wonderful news.
-Yeah, hey, congratulations.
793
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,125
-Yes! Congratulations.
-Yeah, that's great.
794
00:35:21,208 --> 00:35:22,458
-Thank you.
-Another baby.
795
00:35:22,541 --> 00:35:23,916
-Gracias.
-Yeah, mazel tov.
796
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,541
-Gracias. Gracias. -Really, really.
-Congratulations, Des.
797
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:27,666
-Very happy. Very happy.
-Yeah.
798
00:35:27,750 --> 00:35:29,625
-Very exciting. Yeah.
-So, uh…
799
00:35:29,708 --> 00:35:31,166
-(clears throat)
-LUCILLE: Yeah.
800
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:33,250
With Lucie,
I was the size of a phone booth, so…
801
00:35:33,333 --> 00:35:34,791
JESS (chuckles):
Yeah.
802
00:35:34,875 --> 00:35:36,875
You've got about seven weeks
before you have to start
803
00:35:36,958 --> 00:35:39,166
hiding me behind boxes and chairs,
804
00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:43,125
and then another seven weeks after that
before I won't fit in the frame.
805
00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:44,541
-What do you want to do?
-Do?
806
00:35:44,625 --> 00:35:46,250
Whatever there was to do, we've done it.
807
00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:49,083
-Where does that leave us?
-Without a choice.
808
00:35:49,166 --> 00:35:51,583
Lucy Ricardo is gonna have a baby
on television.
809
00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:54,875
-No, no, Des.
-How many scripts in the bank?
810
00:35:54,958 --> 00:35:56,125
We're-we're five ahead of production.
811
00:35:56,208 --> 00:35:57,333
We're shooting four
and we're writing nine.
812
00:35:57,416 --> 00:35:59,291
Four. No harm done.
813
00:35:59,375 --> 00:36:02,000
But whatever script you're working on now,
814
00:36:02,083 --> 00:36:04,375
-episode nine, scratch it.
-(chuckles): Okay.
815
00:36:04,458 --> 00:36:07,708
Episode– no, episode nine is now
“Lucy Tells Ricky She's Pregnant,”
816
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:09,666
and we work from there.
What's that one?
817
00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:12,833
-JESS: Which one?
-LUCILLE: “Lucy Goes to Italy.”
818
00:36:12,916 --> 00:36:14,416
We want to send the four of you to Italy.
819
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:16,583
-Why? -MADELYN: We think
it'd be nice to get off our set.
820
00:36:16,666 --> 00:36:18,916
No, why do the Ricardos
and Mertzes go to Italy?
821
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,333
-JESS: A vacation.
-DESI: They don't vacation in Europe.
822
00:36:21,416 --> 00:36:23,583
They go to the Grand Canyon.
823
00:36:23,666 --> 00:36:25,500
-They go to Niagara Falls.
-Work.
824
00:36:25,583 --> 00:36:27,708
-Ricky's got a gig at a club in Rome.
-And what does Lucy do?
825
00:36:27,791 --> 00:36:30,000
She stomps grapes.
826
00:36:30,083 --> 00:36:32,291
Lucy and Ethel go to an Italian vineyard.
827
00:36:32,375 --> 00:36:34,083
-DESI: Why?
-We don't know yet.
828
00:36:34,166 --> 00:36:35,875
And she stomps grapes.
829
00:36:35,958 --> 00:36:38,708
DESI: This vineyard is located
in the 19th century?
830
00:36:38,791 --> 00:36:40,583
-JESS: They don't stomp grapes anymore?
-(chuckles): No.
831
00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:43,250
MADELYN: Okay, so we find the one
vineyard where they still stomp grapes.
832
00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:45,041
-(knocking)
-LUCY: Come in.
833
00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,833
-Sì, signora. You sent for me?
-Yes.
834
00:36:47,916 --> 00:36:49,916
Are there any grape vineyards around here?
835
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,666
I'd like to know how they make the wine,
836
00:36:51,750 --> 00:36:54,750
how they pick the grapes, how they press
the juice out with their feet.
837
00:36:54,833 --> 00:36:56,500
BELLMAN:
There is one little town called Turo
838
00:36:56,583 --> 00:36:59,000
-where they still make the wine that way.
-MADELYN: Easy.
839
00:36:59,083 --> 00:37:01,083
DESI:
Why does she want to go to a vineyard?
840
00:37:01,166 --> 00:37:02,958
We don't know yet.
841
00:37:03,041 --> 00:37:04,958
She has an audition for an Italian movie.
842
00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,708
MADELYN: What does that have to do
with stomping grapes?
843
00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:07,958
BOB:
The part.
844
00:37:08,041 --> 00:37:10,166
VITTORIO:
She happens to be just the type I need.
845
00:37:10,250 --> 00:37:12,833
The role of a beautiful Italian redhead
846
00:37:12,916 --> 00:37:15,416
who, uh– como si dice–
uh, steps on grapes.
847
00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,958
(audience laughter)
848
00:37:18,041 --> 00:37:19,833
JESS:
We'll get there. The point is
849
00:37:19,916 --> 00:37:21,875
(chuckles):
Lucy in a vat of grapes for five minutes.
850
00:37:21,958 --> 00:37:23,625
I can see it.
851
00:37:24,708 --> 00:37:25,958
(speaks Italian)
852
00:37:27,041 --> 00:37:28,625
(audience laughter)
853
00:37:34,208 --> 00:37:36,000
(audience laughter)
854
00:37:37,083 --> 00:37:39,000
(footsteps squishing)
855
00:37:39,083 --> 00:37:41,375
(audience laughter continues)
856
00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,958
What can happen in the vat of grapes?
What can she do?
857
00:37:50,041 --> 00:37:52,125
-(audience whispering)
-(man in audience clears throat)
858
00:37:54,541 --> 00:37:56,166
JESS:
It doesn't matter right now.
859
00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:59,333
We need to get back to–
Des, the network isn't gonna allow it
860
00:37:59,416 --> 00:38:01,125
and neither will Philip Morris. Lucy…
861
00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,833
Just hang on.
862
00:38:02,916 --> 00:38:04,916
(audience whispering)
863
00:38:08,166 --> 00:38:09,791
-She loses an earring.
-BOB: Yes.
864
00:38:09,875 --> 00:38:10,958
-MADELYN: There it is.
-What are you talking about?
865
00:38:11,041 --> 00:38:12,083
In the grapes.
866
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:13,625
(audience laughter)
867
00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:19,875
(audience laughter continues)
868
00:38:25,083 --> 00:38:26,791
(laughter grows)
869
00:38:32,541 --> 00:38:34,208
Push it to next year.
870
00:38:34,291 --> 00:38:36,083
They're not going to Italy
while she's pregnant.
871
00:38:36,166 --> 00:38:38,458
I'll bet you my next paycheck
against your next paycheck
872
00:38:38,541 --> 00:38:40,708
that CBS won't even allow us
to use the word “pregnant.”
873
00:38:40,791 --> 00:38:43,750
-“Lucy Tells the Truth.”
-BOB: That one's Madelyn's idea.
874
00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:46,375
-She got it just seconds after
I pitched it. -Folks…
875
00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:49,166
MADELYN: Ricky bets Lucy
that she can't go two days without lying,
876
00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:51,000
and we put her in situations
where it's hard not to lie.
877
00:38:51,083 --> 00:38:53,000
LUCY:
Okay, it's started.
878
00:38:53,083 --> 00:38:54,750
For the next 48 hours.
879
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,208
-Okay.
-All right.
880
00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:58,833
ETHEL: I can hardly wait
to hear you tomorrow afternoon, Lucy.
881
00:38:58,916 --> 00:39:00,000
LUCY:
Why?
882
00:39:00,083 --> 00:39:01,500
We're playing bridge
at Carolyn's, remember?
883
00:39:01,583 --> 00:39:04,125
Oh, no, no, no.
884
00:39:04,208 --> 00:39:05,833
I can't spend the afternoon
885
00:39:05,916 --> 00:39:07,583
with three women
and have to tell the truth.
886
00:39:07,666 --> 00:39:10,750
-(audience laughter)
-I'll call Carolyn and tell her I'm sick.
887
00:39:12,458 --> 00:39:14,416
MADELYN:
After 47 hours,
888
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,958
-she's winning, but in the final hour…
-BOB: Here it is.
889
00:39:17,041 --> 00:39:19,458
MADELYN: …Ricky gets a visit from
the IRS, and the guy wants to ask about
890
00:39:19,541 --> 00:39:22,416
some questionable things
that Ricky's claiming on his deductions.
891
00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:25,166
Lucy's sitting in the living room, too,
and of course when she's asked
892
00:39:25,250 --> 00:39:28,041
by the IRS agent to corroborate,
she can't tell a lie, so…
893
00:39:28,125 --> 00:39:29,333
That's a funny premise.
894
00:39:29,416 --> 00:39:30,750
Yes, it is.
895
00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:32,458
But lose the IRS scene.
896
00:39:32,541 --> 00:39:33,833
-Could be a good scene.
-He's correct.
897
00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:35,083
Once I write it, it could be good.
898
00:39:35,166 --> 00:39:36,833
Ah, Ricky Ricardo loves America.
899
00:39:36,916 --> 00:39:38,208
He loves being an American.
900
00:39:38,291 --> 00:39:40,083
He's grateful to this country.
901
00:39:40,166 --> 00:39:41,416
He'd never cheat on his taxes.
902
00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:44,125
-It's very relatable. Everybody does.
-I don't! Neither does Ricky.
903
00:39:44,208 --> 00:39:47,000
Especially when his wife is accused
of being un-American.
904
00:39:47,083 --> 00:39:50,708
Look for something else, and
start working on the first pregnancy show.
905
00:39:50,791 --> 00:39:52,125
-Listen to me.
-What?
906
00:39:52,208 --> 00:39:53,791
They're not gonna let us do it.
907
00:39:53,875 --> 00:39:56,583
-Let that be my problem.
-Oh, I wish I could, Des,
908
00:39:56,666 --> 00:39:58,458
but it's very much my problem, okay?
909
00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:01,750
So instead of talking about
goddamn grapes, why don't…
910
00:40:02,833 --> 00:40:04,583
Look, what you got to understand is this.
911
00:40:04,666 --> 00:40:06,250
-We don't know…
-Jess, they're free to take us off the air
912
00:40:06,333 --> 00:40:09,375
for the rest of the year
while continuing to pay our contracts
913
00:40:09,458 --> 00:40:12,083
and answering questions about
why motherhood is too salacious
914
00:40:12,166 --> 00:40:16,041
to put on CBS, but something tells me
they're not gonna go that route.
915
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:19,750
Instead, I think Broadcast Standards
and Practices will give you
916
00:40:19,833 --> 00:40:22,666
a list of insane restrictions,
which might even include
917
00:40:22,750 --> 00:40:24,791
you winning your bet with Desi,
and which I have no doubt
918
00:40:24,875 --> 00:40:28,375
the three of you
will navigate beautifully.
919
00:40:28,458 --> 00:40:29,583
You told me to be nice.
920
00:40:29,666 --> 00:40:31,541
Good?
921
00:40:31,625 --> 00:40:33,125
Yeah.
922
00:40:33,208 --> 00:40:35,208
(phone ringing in distance)
923
00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:42,083
I don't care what your first thoughts
out of the gate were,
924
00:40:42,166 --> 00:40:45,208
but your first words out of the gate
were no good.
925
00:40:45,291 --> 00:40:47,291
And what was with you at the table read?
926
00:40:48,375 --> 00:40:50,833
I'm sorry. She was jumping
on every stage direction.
927
00:40:50,916 --> 00:40:51,958
It's her process.
928
00:40:52,041 --> 00:40:54,500
-But that process usually happens
in private. -BOB: Yes.
929
00:40:54,583 --> 00:40:56,791
And following your advice,
maybe every once in a while,
930
00:40:56,875 --> 00:40:59,916
the first words out of her mouth
could be “good script.”
931
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,041
Well, is this the right week
for this shit?
932
00:41:04,125 --> 00:41:06,500
-Hey.
-We do seem to be having some success, no?
933
00:41:06,583 --> 00:41:09,208
We're all really tired from
working on this week's script.
934
00:41:09,291 --> 00:41:11,291
Oh, are you sleepy? You need a nap?
935
00:41:11,375 --> 00:41:13,166
-Can I talk to you for a second, boss?
-Sure.
936
00:41:20,208 --> 00:41:21,791
I'm the executive producer of this show.
937
00:41:21,875 --> 00:41:23,833
You can't manhandle me like that
in front of other people.
938
00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,458
You just can't do it. My show.
939
00:41:25,541 --> 00:41:26,916
And Madelyn was a hundred percent right.
940
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,916
-Ricky pays his taxes.
-I get it.
941
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,041
And we're having the baby on the show.
942
00:41:31,125 --> 00:41:33,125
There's no chance they say yes.
943
00:41:34,208 --> 00:41:36,875
There's no chance they say yes to you.
944
00:41:41,458 --> 00:41:43,458
Did you get all that?
945
00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:44,458
Yes.
946
00:41:44,541 --> 00:41:46,125
That was a joke.
947
00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:49,416
DONALD:
Back to right before Vivian's entrance.
948
00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:51,166
“When do we eat?”
949
00:41:51,250 --> 00:41:53,333
Settle. And action.
950
00:41:53,416 --> 00:41:55,875
Uh, when do we eat?
951
00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:58,083
I've been living on
peanut butter sandwiches.
952
00:41:58,166 --> 00:42:00,166
DONALD: Bill, that line's
got to take you over to the table.
953
00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:01,833
-Hmm?
-You need to cross to the table on that.
954
00:42:01,916 --> 00:42:03,166
Why?
955
00:42:03,250 --> 00:42:04,666
-Because we need to…
-LUCILLE: So you can see the table,
956
00:42:04,750 --> 00:42:07,666
notice that a fourth place is set
and say your next line.
957
00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:11,791
Uh, someone else coming?
958
00:42:11,875 --> 00:42:16,250
Well, Fred, I took the liberty of asking
a young lady to be your dinner companion.
959
00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:18,500
-A young lady?
-A cute young chick.
960
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,041
-Oh, boy, bring her on.
-Uh-uh.
961
00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:22,625
-Hang on.
-What?
962
00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:24,916
LUCILLE:
When I say, “I took the liberty of asking
963
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:26,833
-a young lady to be
your dinner companion…” -Mm-hmm.
964
00:42:26,916 --> 00:42:30,375
…Ricky should take a sip from a glass of
water on the table to keep from laughing.
965
00:42:30,458 --> 00:42:32,083
-And then when I say,
“A cute young chick…” -Uh-huh.
966
00:42:32,166 --> 00:42:33,541
…he should choke on his water a little.
967
00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:35,375
-I like that.
-I like it, too.
968
00:42:35,458 --> 00:42:39,416
The very idea that Ethel's
a cute young chick should make Desi choke.
969
00:42:41,250 --> 00:42:42,708
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
That's 15.
970
00:42:42,791 --> 00:42:44,916
-Okay.
-That's 15 minutes!
971
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,416
(indistinct chatter)
972
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:47,708
I'll be funny by Friday.
973
00:42:47,791 --> 00:42:50,458
And when can we expect you to be funny?
974
00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:07,416
-(door closes)
-“Exactly what makes a husband leave home
975
00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:10,958
-is something that has been baffling wives
since Adam and Eve.” -Enough.
976
00:43:11,041 --> 00:43:14,500
“For an outstanding example, let's take
one of the nation's most famous husbands.”
977
00:43:14,583 --> 00:43:17,083
-You've memorized it?
-I've memorized worse writing than this.
978
00:43:17,166 --> 00:43:19,708
-Yes, it's a tabloid.
-“With a curvy, red-haired tidbit
979
00:43:19,791 --> 00:43:24,333
like Lucy waiting for him at home,
would Desi be foolish enough…”
980
00:43:24,416 --> 00:43:27,083
-Stop it. -”…to prowl Hollywood
like a bachelor wolf?
981
00:43:27,166 --> 00:43:29,166
-If so, why?”
-It's made up.
982
00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:32,375
-20 million readers want to know.
-Lucy…
983
00:43:32,458 --> 00:43:34,625
-20 million and one.
-How many times
984
00:43:34,708 --> 00:43:37,708
I got to 'splain where I was
and what I was doing?
985
00:43:37,791 --> 00:43:39,833
How many times you got to 'splain?
986
00:43:39,916 --> 00:43:42,291
(chuckles)
I can't get enough of that joke.
987
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:45,125
They document an entire night.
988
00:43:45,208 --> 00:43:47,083
Someone in your gang's a rat.
989
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,166
My gang.
990
00:43:48,250 --> 00:43:49,875
(scoffs)
991
00:43:49,958 --> 00:43:53,500
The night they're talking about,
I was with Red Skelton and Xavier Cugat.
992
00:43:53,583 --> 00:43:56,708
-Which one of them you think squealed?
-They made it up from nothing?
993
00:43:56,791 --> 00:43:58,958
I heard on Winchell the other night
that you were a Communist.
994
00:43:59,041 --> 00:44:01,083
That was true, you idiot!
995
00:44:01,166 --> 00:44:03,083
Yeah. That was a bad example.
996
00:44:03,166 --> 00:44:04,666
And I didn't check the wrong box.
997
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,750
Okay, I'm sorry about that.
998
00:44:09,208 --> 00:44:11,416
I believe you.
999
00:44:11,500 --> 00:44:13,583
-I'm just messing around.
-Good.
1000
00:44:14,916 --> 00:44:18,000
No. That gets you out of the woods,
but it puts you into other woods.
1001
00:44:18,083 --> 00:44:19,250
What are the other woods?
1002
00:44:19,333 --> 00:44:21,375
You don't come home anymore.
Did you know that?
1003
00:44:21,458 --> 00:44:23,791
-You change subjects faster than…
-Keep up.
1004
00:44:23,875 --> 00:44:25,166
It's not hard.
1005
00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:28,416
I asked, “Did you know
you don't come home anymore?”
1006
00:44:28,500 --> 00:44:29,833
Of course I come home.
1007
00:44:29,916 --> 00:44:32,750
Sometimes I go to the boat and play cards.
1008
00:44:32,833 --> 00:44:35,875
We drink, it goes late,
it's easier to sleep on the boat.
1009
00:44:37,625 --> 00:44:39,375
That used to be once a week, then twice.
1010
00:44:39,458 --> 00:44:41,875
Now it's four or five times.
1011
00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,125
I go home after work, you go to the boat.
1012
00:44:48,416 --> 00:44:50,208
You once asked me what my ambition was.
1013
00:44:50,291 --> 00:44:51,291
You remember?
1014
00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:53,666
Mm-hmm.
1015
00:44:53,750 --> 00:44:55,750
And you liked my answer.
1016
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,458
She used the word “home” a lot.
1017
00:45:00,541 --> 00:45:04,000
She talked about having a home.
1018
00:45:04,083 --> 00:45:08,041
Lucy owned three houses,
but sometimes, when she fell into a funk,
1019
00:45:08,125 --> 00:45:11,833
she'd say… she didn't have a home.
1020
00:45:11,916 --> 00:45:14,000
They eloped.
1021
00:45:14,083 --> 00:45:15,625
They bought a ranch in Chatsworth.
1022
00:45:15,708 --> 00:45:19,833
They were deeply in love
and deliriously happy.
1023
00:45:19,916 --> 00:45:23,625
What you got to understand is
they weren't very happy.
1024
00:45:23,708 --> 00:45:25,458
They never saw each other.
1025
00:45:25,541 --> 00:45:28,916
Desi and his orchestra
were booked at Ciro's.
1026
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,875
Lucy was under contract at RKO.
1027
00:45:31,958 --> 00:45:36,458
Desi would be done with work
around 4:00 a.m.
1028
00:45:36,541 --> 00:45:38,625
Lucy had to be
in hair and makeup at 5:00 a.m.
1029
00:45:38,708 --> 00:45:40,833
They'd meet at the top of Mulholland.
1030
00:45:41,916 --> 00:45:44,708
(band playing “Babalú”)
1031
00:45:45,833 --> 00:45:47,916
♪ Babalú ♪
1032
00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:51,083
-♪ Babalú ♪
-(audience shouting excitedly)
1033
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:53,583
♪ Babalú ♪
1034
00:45:53,666 --> 00:45:55,208
♪ Ayé ♪
1035
00:45:55,291 --> 00:45:58,000
♪ Babalú ayé ♪
1036
00:45:58,083 --> 00:46:00,750
-(women laughing)
-(lively music continues)
1037
00:46:07,750 --> 00:46:09,375
(horns stop, drumming continues)
1038
00:46:09,458 --> 00:46:11,791
♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪
1039
00:46:11,875 --> 00:46:14,750
-♪ Ol é , ol é , ol é , olé ♪
-♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪
1040
00:46:14,833 --> 00:46:16,500
♪ Olé, olé, olé, olé ♪
1041
00:46:16,583 --> 00:46:19,708
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1042
00:46:19,791 --> 00:46:23,375
-♪ Arriba con la conga ♪
-♪ Arriba con la conga. ♪
1043
00:46:23,458 --> 00:46:25,083
(drumming intensifies)
1044
00:46:25,166 --> 00:46:27,166
(audience cheering)
1045
00:46:27,250 --> 00:46:28,916
(horns join in, music builds)
1046
00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:37,375
-(song ends)
-(audience cheering)
1047
00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:40,708
(lively chatter, laughter)
1048
00:46:40,791 --> 00:46:42,750
-What do we have here?
-WOMAN: Yeah, Desi!
1049
00:46:42,833 --> 00:46:43,958
A lot of choices.
1050
00:46:44,041 --> 00:46:46,791
There's only one choice for me,
and she's got a powerful right hook.
1051
00:46:46,875 --> 00:46:50,291
My friend and I saw the midnight show
and the 2:00 a.m.
1052
00:46:50,375 --> 00:46:51,583
(chuckles)
1053
00:46:51,666 --> 00:46:53,250
Thank you.
1054
00:46:53,333 --> 00:46:55,125
WOMAN:
Aw.
1055
00:46:55,208 --> 00:46:57,125
♪ ♪
1056
00:46:57,208 --> 00:46:59,208
(birds chirping)
1057
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:20,083
I did the calculation.
1058
00:47:20,166 --> 00:47:21,541
In the course of one week,
1059
00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:24,583
I see you 1/20th as much
as your second trombone player.
1060
00:47:25,666 --> 00:47:28,750
Well, learn to play the trombone,
and I'll give you his job.
1061
00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:31,041
Well, how hard is the trombone?
1062
00:47:33,041 --> 00:47:36,500
Ay, maybe it'd be better
if we didn't spend the little time we have
1063
00:47:36,583 --> 00:47:39,666
arguing about why we don't have more time.
1064
00:47:39,750 --> 00:47:43,000
Don't make me feel like a bitch
because I want to see my husband.
1065
00:47:43,083 --> 00:47:45,416
-Hey.
-(sighs)
1066
00:47:45,500 --> 00:47:49,625
I-I could stay home
and be kept by my wife.
1067
00:47:50,625 --> 00:47:53,666
I mean, that'd really complete the picture
Americans have of Cuban men.
1068
00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:55,916
What home are you talking about?
1069
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,875
Or you could quit the film business
and just be my wife.
1070
00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:01,875
But you ain't gonna do that, right?
1071
00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:03,333
No.
1072
00:48:03,416 --> 00:48:05,375
How about you come to the club more
to watch the show?
1073
00:48:08,166 --> 00:48:09,875
I had a picture open five days ago.
1074
00:48:09,958 --> 00:48:12,125
You really want me
to come down to the club?
1075
00:48:12,208 --> 00:48:13,708
Why not?
1076
00:48:15,208 --> 00:48:17,000
Okay.
1077
00:48:17,083 --> 00:48:19,625
(band playing “Cuban Pete”)
1078
00:48:19,708 --> 00:48:22,375
♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪
1079
00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:24,916
♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪
1080
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,416
♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪
1081
00:48:26,500 --> 00:48:29,500
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
1082
00:48:29,583 --> 00:48:31,458
♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪
1083
00:48:31,541 --> 00:48:33,750
♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪
1084
00:48:33,833 --> 00:48:35,666
♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪
1085
00:48:35,750 --> 00:48:38,166
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
1086
00:48:38,250 --> 00:48:41,041
-♪ The señoritas, they sing ♪
-(women chattering excitedly)
1087
00:48:41,125 --> 00:48:43,666
♪ And how they swing with this rumbero ♪
1088
00:48:43,750 --> 00:48:45,666
♪ It's very nice ♪
1089
00:48:45,750 --> 00:48:47,041
♪ So full of spice ♪
1090
00:48:47,125 --> 00:48:48,125
(laughs)
1091
00:48:48,208 --> 00:48:50,041
♪ And when they're dancing ♪
1092
00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:52,541
♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪
1093
00:48:52,625 --> 00:48:54,375
♪ Singing a song ♪
1094
00:48:54,458 --> 00:48:56,625
-♪ All the day long. ♪
-(song ends)
1095
00:48:56,708 --> 00:48:59,291
Ah! What do we have here?
1096
00:48:59,375 --> 00:49:01,083
-(cheering)
-MAN: Lucy!
1097
00:49:01,166 --> 00:49:03,166
(excited chatter)
1098
00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:05,083
♪ ♪
1099
00:49:06,291 --> 00:49:07,875
MAN:
This way, Miss Ball! Hollywood Citizen!
1100
00:49:07,958 --> 00:49:09,625
WOMAN:
We love you in the movie!
1101
00:49:09,708 --> 00:49:11,708
-Thank you.
-Wasn't the show fun?
1102
00:49:16,500 --> 00:49:18,666
-(knocking)
-VIVIAN: Come on in.
1103
00:49:20,333 --> 00:49:21,333
Good morning.
1104
00:49:21,416 --> 00:49:23,083
Hey, Maddie.
1105
00:49:23,166 --> 00:49:24,916
(sighs) Some week, huh?
1106
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,041
Lucille Ball's a threat
to the American way of life?
1107
00:49:27,125 --> 00:49:29,625
She's a threat to writers,
camera operators and Desi,
1108
00:49:29,708 --> 00:49:30,791
but it really stops there.
1109
00:49:30,875 --> 00:49:32,708
Have you ever had a week like this?
1110
00:49:32,791 --> 00:49:35,083
No, but we work in Hollywood,
and something tells me
1111
00:49:35,166 --> 00:49:37,583
we're all gonna have weeks like this
before that committee's done.
1112
00:49:37,666 --> 00:49:39,291
(chuckles softly)
1113
00:49:39,375 --> 00:49:41,125
-Look what you can still do.
-Still?
1114
00:49:41,208 --> 00:49:43,750
(chuckles):
I regretted it even before I said it.
1115
00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:46,000
I can't do that, and I'm just impressed.
1116
00:49:46,083 --> 00:49:47,250
What's in your hands?
1117
00:49:47,333 --> 00:49:49,125
I got you some breakfast
from the commissary.
1118
00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:50,791
They told me you didn't have any, but…
1119
00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:53,458
I did. I had a cup of coffee
and half a grapefruit.
1120
00:49:53,541 --> 00:49:56,250
Well, I have French toast,
bacon, eggs and potatoes.
1121
00:49:56,333 --> 00:49:58,291
-Enjoy it.
-It's for you.
1122
00:49:58,375 --> 00:50:00,708
That was very sweet, but, no, thank you.
1123
00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:04,458
Is it just me
or have you lost a little weight?
1124
00:50:04,541 --> 00:50:06,208
I have.
1125
00:50:06,291 --> 00:50:08,333
Well, you look great.
1126
00:50:08,416 --> 00:50:09,916
Thank you.
1127
00:50:14,541 --> 00:50:16,833
-I'll see you onstage.
-Mm-hmm.
1128
00:50:16,916 --> 00:50:19,541
-Madelyn.
-Yeah?
1129
00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:22,083
Who told you
that I didn't have any breakfast?
1130
00:50:24,666 --> 00:50:26,666
(sighs) I don't know.
1131
00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:28,958
I think…
1132
00:50:29,041 --> 00:50:30,916
It was Tino.
1133
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,250
The tall waiter.
1134
00:50:32,333 --> 00:50:33,791
(whispers):
Okay.
1135
00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:36,083
(softly):
Yeah.
1136
00:50:38,875 --> 00:50:41,041
(sighs):
Jesus Christ.
1137
00:50:41,125 --> 00:50:43,625
Day three and still no pickup
on the Winchell story.
1138
00:50:43,708 --> 00:50:45,541
-Fellas, I think we're out of this.
-(chuckles): Might be.
1139
00:50:45,625 --> 00:50:47,500
-Might be.
-Howard?
1140
00:50:47,583 --> 00:50:50,000
There's another shoe, and none of us
are getting out of this alive.
1141
00:50:50,083 --> 00:50:51,250
JOE:
Howard.
1142
00:50:51,333 --> 00:50:52,875
They're uncovering something new,
1143
00:50:52,958 --> 00:50:56,166
they're chasing the original testimony,
something,
1144
00:50:56,250 --> 00:50:57,458
but there's another shoe.
1145
00:50:57,541 --> 00:50:59,500
There's nothing more to uncover.
There are no more shoes.
1146
00:50:59,583 --> 00:51:01,875
-Lucy's pregnant.
-Well, that.
1147
00:51:06,208 --> 00:51:07,250
What?
1148
00:51:07,333 --> 00:51:08,333
Lucy's pregnant.
1149
00:51:08,416 --> 00:51:09,750
With a baby?
1150
00:51:09,833 --> 00:51:11,583
Mm-hmm.
1151
00:51:11,666 --> 00:51:12,791
ROGER:
How…
1152
00:51:12,875 --> 00:51:15,208
I'm… (clears throat)
not sure what words to use.
1153
00:51:15,291 --> 00:51:18,250
How much pregnant are you?
1154
00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:20,625
Why did you think
you didn't know what words to use?
1155
00:51:20,708 --> 00:51:22,916
He means how far,
as a percentage of nine months–
1156
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,833
where are you
on-on the timeline of-of the…
1157
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:26,625
Someone should point
a goddamn camera at this.
1158
00:51:26,708 --> 00:51:27,875
DESI:
She's 12 weeks pregnant.
1159
00:51:27,958 --> 00:51:28,916
So that means, uh…
1160
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:30,916
12 weeks ago, I fucked my husband.
1161
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:31,958
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! -No, no, no.
-(overlapping chatter)
1162
00:51:32,041 --> 00:51:34,083
(laughing)
1163
00:51:34,166 --> 00:51:36,000
DESI:
She'll start showing in about
1164
00:51:36,083 --> 00:51:40,500
six weeks, and a month after that,
(sighs) there won't be any hiding it.
1165
00:51:40,583 --> 00:51:42,000
This isn't a problem.
1166
00:51:42,083 --> 00:51:43,500
-It's not.
-This has happened before.
1167
00:51:43,583 --> 00:51:46,666
I won't say names,
but it's been dealt with.
1168
00:51:46,750 --> 00:51:49,250
Is he talking about having me killed?
1169
00:51:49,333 --> 00:51:51,166
No, you carry a basket of laundry,
1170
00:51:51,250 --> 00:51:53,958
stand behind chairs,
you sit with a pillow on your lap.
1171
00:51:54,041 --> 00:51:55,625
Those are great ideas,
especially having Lucy
1172
00:51:55,708 --> 00:51:57,166
carry a basket of laundry in every scene.
1173
00:51:57,250 --> 00:51:58,500
Or stand behind chairs.
1174
00:51:58,583 --> 00:52:01,833
Where in the Ricardo's living room
are the giant chairs you're talking about?
1175
00:52:01,916 --> 00:52:04,041
Lucy and Ricky redecorate, huh?
1176
00:52:04,125 --> 00:52:05,625
The writers can get some fun out of this.
1177
00:52:05,708 --> 00:52:07,958
Maybe they get some large ficus trees.
1178
00:52:08,041 --> 00:52:09,291
They'd have to be California redwoods,
1179
00:52:09,375 --> 00:52:11,833
and I'd have to stand behind them
anytime I wasn't doing the wash.
1180
00:52:11,916 --> 00:52:13,125
Well, what do you propose?
1181
00:52:13,208 --> 00:52:14,625
That the Ricardos have a baby.
1182
00:52:14,708 --> 00:52:16,916
(laughter)
1183
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:18,666
What do you mean?
1184
00:52:18,750 --> 00:52:20,458
I told you it was gonna be like this.
1185
00:52:20,541 --> 00:52:24,000
Lucy Ricardo will be pregnant on the show.
1186
00:52:24,083 --> 00:52:29,166
An eight-episode arc starting with
Lucy telling Ricky the happy news
1187
00:52:29,250 --> 00:52:32,083
-and ending with the birth of the baby.
-ROGER (laughs): No.
1188
00:52:32,166 --> 00:52:33,833
No, no, no.
1189
00:52:33,916 --> 00:52:35,416
You can't have a pregnant woman
on television.
1190
00:52:35,500 --> 00:52:36,625
DESI:
Why not?
1191
00:52:36,708 --> 00:52:37,708
Because it's television.
1192
00:52:37,791 --> 00:52:39,375
We come into people's homes.
1193
00:52:39,458 --> 00:52:41,583
Pregnant women often vomit.
1194
00:52:41,666 --> 00:52:43,458
I know I could any second.
1195
00:52:43,541 --> 00:52:45,541
-May I say something?
-Frankly, I can't wait.
1196
00:52:45,625 --> 00:52:48,625
If Lucy Ricardo's pregnant,
the audience's mind immediately goes
1197
00:52:48,708 --> 00:52:50,000
to how did she get that way.
1198
00:52:50,083 --> 00:52:51,333
Lucy and Ricky sleep in separate beds.
1199
00:52:51,416 --> 00:52:53,333
We'll be pushing the beds together, too.
1200
00:52:53,416 --> 00:52:54,875
-Oh. -Oh, no.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1201
00:52:54,958 --> 00:52:57,416
I'm sorry, Des, we're gonna
have to put our foot down on this one.
1202
00:52:57,500 --> 00:52:59,541
You can't do it. End of discussion.
1203
00:53:02,416 --> 00:53:03,666
(groans)
1204
00:53:03,750 --> 00:53:05,833
♪ ♪
1205
00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:09,458
Miss Rosen, will you come in please,
with a pad and pen?
1206
00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:14,916
-My secretary.
-(footsteps approaching)
1207
00:53:16,333 --> 00:53:17,875
What are you doing?
1208
00:53:17,958 --> 00:53:19,708
To Mr. Alfred Lyons,
Chairman of the Board of Philip Morris.
1209
00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,208
HOWARD: We don't want
to bring Mr. Lyons into this.
1210
00:53:21,291 --> 00:53:23,791
“Mr. Lyons, I guess
it all comes down to you.
1211
00:53:23,875 --> 00:53:26,458
“You are the man
who's paying the money for this show,
1212
00:53:26,541 --> 00:53:28,208
and I'll do whatever you decide.”
1213
00:53:28,291 --> 00:53:30,500
Mr. Lyons doesn't get involved
at this level.
1214
00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:33,375
“There's only one thing I want
to make certain that you understand.”
1215
00:53:33,458 --> 00:53:35,166
-Desi…
-“We've given you
1216
00:53:35,250 --> 00:53:37,166
“the number one show on television,
1217
00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:41,500
“and up until now, the creative decisions
have been in our hands.
1218
00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:45,208
They are now telling us that Lucy
and Ricky can't have a baby on the show.”
1219
00:53:45,291 --> 00:53:46,416
That's not exactly what we said.
1220
00:53:46,500 --> 00:53:48,958
“All I ask from you,
if you agree with them,
1221
00:53:49,041 --> 00:53:52,541
“is that you inform them that we will
not accept them telling us what not to do
1222
00:53:52,625 --> 00:53:58,083
“unless, beginning with our next episode,
they also tell us what to do.
1223
00:53:58,166 --> 00:54:00,708
Sincerely,” et cetera, et cetera.
Thank you.
1224
00:54:00,791 --> 00:54:03,166
-And send it by telegram please.
-Yes, sir.
1225
00:54:05,708 --> 00:54:08,125
And that wasn't even why I married him.
1226
00:54:11,791 --> 00:54:12,791
That was.
1227
00:54:15,375 --> 00:54:17,375
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Quiet please! Rehearsal's up!
1228
00:54:17,458 --> 00:54:20,166
Lucy, let me out of here!
1229
00:54:20,250 --> 00:54:21,708
Untie this coat!
1230
00:54:21,791 --> 00:54:23,625
Not until you kiss and make up.
1231
00:54:23,708 --> 00:54:26,416
I'll never make up with him
after the things he said.
1232
00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:28,583
What about the things you said to me?
1233
00:54:28,666 --> 00:54:30,708
She said my mother looks like a weasel.
1234
00:54:30,791 --> 00:54:33,041
-Apologize, Ethel.
-No.
1235
00:54:33,125 --> 00:54:36,458
Oh, come on, Ethel. Tell him you're sorry.
1236
00:54:36,541 --> 00:54:37,625
Well…
1237
00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:39,750
I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel.
1238
00:54:39,833 --> 00:54:41,750
Now, Ethel.
1239
00:54:41,833 --> 00:54:43,125
Well, he should have more consideration.
1240
00:54:43,208 --> 00:54:45,291
After all, I gave him
the best years of my life.
1241
00:54:45,375 --> 00:54:47,875
-Were those the best?
-(gasps)
1242
00:54:47,958 --> 00:54:49,750
All right, all right, now you're even.
1243
00:54:49,833 --> 00:54:51,750
Now, what are your terms
for making up, Ethel?
1244
00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:53,291
Well, he should…
1245
00:54:53,375 --> 00:54:56,041
We should go back to the dinner table.
1246
00:54:57,125 --> 00:54:59,750
-What was that?
-We should go back to the dinner table.
1247
00:54:59,833 --> 00:55:02,958
I think, given the time,
we should move on.
1248
00:55:03,041 --> 00:55:04,041
It was good.
1249
00:55:04,125 --> 00:55:05,833
Yeah, except, no, it wasn't.
1250
00:55:05,916 --> 00:55:06,958
-What?
-Good.
1251
00:55:07,041 --> 00:55:08,666
-Wasn't good.
-Uh…
1252
00:55:08,750 --> 00:55:09,750
Ah, let's go back.
1253
00:55:09,833 --> 00:55:11,125
WILLIAM:
What's happening?
1254
00:55:11,208 --> 00:55:12,458
VIVIAN:
(sighs) She wants to go back.
1255
00:55:12,541 --> 00:55:13,583
-WILLIAM: To what?
-The dinner scene.
1256
00:55:13,666 --> 00:55:15,208
WILLIAM:
What?
1257
00:55:15,291 --> 00:55:17,916
VIVIAN:
The dinner scene, you drunken yontz!
1258
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,750
WILLIAM:
Have we hired anyone to play Ethel yet?
1259
00:55:19,833 --> 00:55:21,083
All right, let's go.
1260
00:55:21,166 --> 00:55:22,291
Go forward or go back to the dinner scene?
1261
00:55:22,375 --> 00:55:23,375
Back.
1262
00:55:23,458 --> 00:55:25,000
(sighs heavily)
1263
00:55:25,083 --> 00:55:27,625
Page 15. This is still scene “A.”
1264
00:55:27,708 --> 00:55:29,250
From, “You're right, he's not
going to do me out of dinner.”
1265
00:55:29,333 --> 00:55:31,541
-Cameras reset. Props reset.
-VIVIAN: Someone's gonna need to tell us
1266
00:55:31,625 --> 00:55:33,333
what was wrong with the scene
in the first place.
1267
00:55:33,416 --> 00:55:34,666
-WILLIAM: You were in it.
-DESI: Bill.
1268
00:55:34,750 --> 00:55:36,500
Something fundamental was wrong.
I'll figure out what.
1269
00:55:36,583 --> 00:55:37,666
I can figure out what.
1270
00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:39,416
-Let's all do our individual jobs.
-(sighs)
1271
00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,208
(quietly): I hit him in the face
until he's bleeding–
1272
00:55:41,291 --> 00:55:43,458
-does our insurance cover that?
-DESI: Yeah, I got the platinum plan.
1273
00:55:43,541 --> 00:55:44,791
Good job.
1274
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:46,375
-Ready, ready.
-Quiet please!
1275
00:55:46,458 --> 00:55:47,750
Rehearsal's up!
1276
00:55:47,833 --> 00:55:50,125
DONALD: From, “You're right,
he's not going to do me out of dinner.”
1277
00:55:50,208 --> 00:55:51,250
Settle.
1278
00:55:51,333 --> 00:55:53,541
And action.
1279
00:55:53,625 --> 00:55:54,875
Uh, you're right.
1280
00:55:54,958 --> 00:55:57,041
He's not gonna do me out of dinner.
1281
00:55:57,125 --> 00:55:58,333
Good.
1282
00:55:58,416 --> 00:56:01,250
Oh. Now, sit down, everyone.
1283
00:56:03,250 --> 00:56:06,208
We don't have any more chairs.
1284
00:56:06,291 --> 00:56:08,916
You two don't mind sharing, do you?
1285
00:56:11,541 --> 00:56:13,375
The roast beef should be precut.
1286
00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:15,125
-It will be, dear.
-DESI: How's that, Ethel?
1287
00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:17,166
-Not too much fat, is there?
-VIVIAN: There certainly is.
1288
00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:18,250
He means the meat.
1289
00:56:18,333 --> 00:56:19,791
Oh, no, the meat is fine.
1290
00:56:19,875 --> 00:56:22,416
LUCILLE:
Now do your thing.
1291
00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:24,375
Come on.
1292
00:56:24,458 --> 00:56:25,625
-Mm.
-DONALD: Perfect.
1293
00:56:25,708 --> 00:56:27,041
-Yeah?
-Moving on.
1294
00:56:27,125 --> 00:56:29,125
-MAN: Moving…
-Staying put. -Why?
1295
00:56:29,208 --> 00:56:30,750
We need to work out
the moves at the table.
1296
00:56:30,833 --> 00:56:32,208
Bill and I can work out the moves.
1297
00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,875
It's not that I'm not confident
that you can't work out…
1298
00:56:33,958 --> 00:56:35,458
This is camera blocking.
1299
00:56:35,541 --> 00:56:37,958
We can work out the stage business
during tomorrow's run-through.
1300
00:56:38,041 --> 00:56:40,416
I would strongly prefer that we do it now.
1301
00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:42,958
I have to exercise
my directorial authority.
1302
00:56:43,041 --> 00:56:44,750
-You have to do what?
-DESI: Let's take a break.
1303
00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:46,791
-It's not time for a break.
-Good, then, that's ten minutes.
1304
00:56:46,875 --> 00:56:48,875
Ten minutes, we come back to scene “A”!
1305
00:56:48,958 --> 00:56:51,250
-No, we don't.
-Maybe we don't. It's hard to say.
1306
00:56:51,333 --> 00:56:53,333
(indistinct chatter)
1307
00:56:57,166 --> 00:56:58,625
Tell me what's happening, honey.
1308
00:56:58,708 --> 00:56:59,708
(exhaling musically)
1309
00:56:59,791 --> 00:57:01,250
-You know what occurs to me?
-Mm-hmm?
1310
00:57:01,333 --> 00:57:02,916
At the top, it should be clear
1311
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,250
that I'm setting a nice table, right?
1312
00:57:04,333 --> 00:57:06,708
There should be flowers in a vase.
1313
00:57:06,791 --> 00:57:08,750
(humming)
1314
00:57:08,833 --> 00:57:10,708
And I'm trying to get them just right.
1315
00:57:10,791 --> 00:57:13,208
And I cut one of the stems,
but now it's too short.
1316
00:57:14,166 --> 00:57:15,708
Then I cut the others,
but now they're too short and…
1317
00:57:15,791 --> 00:57:17,833
-I get it.
-What do you think?
1318
00:57:17,916 --> 00:57:19,625
I think you're having
a little bit of a breakdown.
1319
00:57:19,708 --> 00:57:21,125
I meant about the flowers.
1320
00:57:21,208 --> 00:57:23,875
Tell me what's happening now.
1321
00:57:23,958 --> 00:57:25,916
Why is this so hard to understand?
1322
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:27,500
The dinner table isn't working,
1323
00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:28,958
-and we need it to.
-Mm-hmm.
1324
00:57:29,041 --> 00:57:32,500
Right there are
the building blocks of drama.
1325
00:57:37,791 --> 00:57:39,791
♪ ♪
1326
00:57:59,750 --> 00:58:01,166
Viv.
1327
00:58:02,625 --> 00:58:03,958
It's not you.
1328
00:58:04,041 --> 00:58:05,625
Or Bill.
1329
00:58:05,708 --> 00:58:08,541
The dinner scene. It's Donald Glass.
1330
00:58:08,625 --> 00:58:10,708
Well… (chuckles)
1331
00:58:10,791 --> 00:58:11,833
it'll be funny.
1332
00:58:11,916 --> 00:58:13,666
I'm sure of that.
1333
00:58:13,750 --> 00:58:16,125
Can't get better till it gets bad.
1334
00:58:16,208 --> 00:58:18,708
-Cross step one off the list.
-Yeah.
1335
00:58:18,791 --> 00:58:19,875
Okay.
1336
00:58:21,416 --> 00:58:22,958
You hanging in there?
1337
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:24,791
Look, we've made 37 episodes.
1338
00:58:24,875 --> 00:58:28,125
You do 37 of anything,
one of them's gonna be your 37th best.
1339
00:58:28,208 --> 00:58:30,166
Ours was directed by Donald Glass.
1340
00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:32,083
Honey, the committee.
1341
00:58:32,166 --> 00:58:34,416
They're not gonna base their findings
based on how this week's sh…
1342
00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:35,666
Fuck the committee.
1343
00:58:35,750 --> 00:58:37,875
I said that. I'm talking about the show.
1344
00:58:37,958 --> 00:58:40,958
And unless you count his wardrobe,
Donald Glass doesn't understand
1345
00:58:41,041 --> 00:58:44,166
the moving parts of physical comedy.
1346
00:58:44,250 --> 00:58:45,375
(sighs)
1347
00:58:45,458 --> 00:58:46,458
That's all.
1348
00:58:46,541 --> 00:58:49,458
My point is you're not the problem.
1349
00:58:49,541 --> 00:58:50,833
Mm-hmm.
1350
00:58:52,375 --> 00:58:53,666
Luce.
1351
00:58:53,750 --> 00:58:55,166
Yeah?
1352
00:58:56,166 --> 00:58:58,083
(sighs)
1353
00:58:58,166 --> 00:59:01,916
Uh, Madelyn brought me breakfast
this morning.
1354
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,291
French toast, bacon and potatoes.
1355
00:59:05,375 --> 00:59:08,875
She said that someone noticed
I hadn't had breakfast.
1356
00:59:08,958 --> 00:59:10,541
She said it looked like
I had lost some weight.
1357
00:59:10,625 --> 00:59:12,041
She's right. You look great.
1358
00:59:12,125 --> 00:59:15,041
Madelyn's a staff writer.
She doesn't bring people their breakfast.
1359
00:59:16,833 --> 00:59:18,375
I'm not sure what you're asking.
1360
00:59:18,458 --> 00:59:19,583
It sounds like she was…
1361
00:59:19,666 --> 00:59:22,083
How would she know I hadn't had breakfast?
1362
00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:25,625
I really don't know.
1363
00:59:26,708 --> 00:59:28,708
-It was you, right?
-Yeah.
1364
00:59:28,791 --> 00:59:31,416
Got to give me credit.
When I lie, I give it up pretty quick.
1365
00:59:31,500 --> 00:59:34,000
-It's admirable.
-Thanks.
1366
00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:38,750
You told her to bring me breakfast
and remark on my weight loss.
1367
00:59:39,833 --> 00:59:40,916
Let me explain why.
1368
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,166
Why?
1369
00:59:42,250 --> 00:59:44,250
Because I think you should
get off this loony diet you're on.
1370
00:59:44,333 --> 00:59:45,416
It's working.
1371
00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:46,916
It's not good for you.
1372
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:48,125
I feel great.
1373
00:59:48,208 --> 00:59:49,875
It's not good for Ethel.
1374
00:59:49,958 --> 00:59:51,750
Ah, it's not.
1375
00:59:51,833 --> 00:59:54,250
We're best friends, Viv.
I don't want to fight.
1376
00:59:54,333 --> 00:59:56,041
-I just sent some breakfast over
because… -You didn't just send it over.
1377
00:59:56,125 --> 00:59:58,375
You sent it over
with Madelyn and a message
1378
00:59:58,458 --> 01:00:01,958
and now a new message,
which is that I look too good.
1379
01:00:02,041 --> 01:00:05,000
Because we want you at the weight
you were when we cast you.
1380
01:00:05,083 --> 01:00:06,375
Otherwise it'll be bad for Ethel?
1381
01:00:06,458 --> 01:00:07,708
-Yes.
-Or bad for you?
1382
01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:12,791
All right.
1383
01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:14,875
No one's gonna stop loving Lucy
when you're pregnant.
1384
01:00:14,958 --> 01:00:16,291
You're not a pinup girl.
1385
01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:19,416
Thanks for that, Viv.
1386
01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:22,041
VIVIAN:
I'm saying take it easy, that's all.
1387
01:00:22,125 --> 01:00:25,708
Everyone here stands shoulder to shoulder
with you and no one feels funny
1388
01:00:25,791 --> 01:00:28,208
'cause we're scared to death,
and you're not helping
1389
01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:30,708
by jumping up and down
on everyone who works here
1390
01:00:30,791 --> 01:00:32,500
and doing it in front of the whole crew!
1391
01:00:32,583 --> 01:00:35,791
Goddamn it, Viv,
most American women look like you, not me.
1392
01:00:35,875 --> 01:00:38,041
They want to see themselves on television.
1393
01:00:43,458 --> 01:00:45,166
(door opens)
1394
01:00:48,125 --> 01:00:50,458
What the hell are the two of you
screaming about?
1395
01:00:50,541 --> 01:00:52,333
-LUCILLE: Nothing.
-Nothing!
1396
01:00:52,416 --> 01:00:54,583
I'm in my room taking my midmorning nap.
1397
01:00:54,666 --> 01:00:57,291
VIVIAN: Don't you usually do that
while we're rehearsing?
1398
01:00:58,291 --> 01:01:01,416
I'd love to hear more of that
Moss Hart wit on the show.
1399
01:01:08,708 --> 01:01:10,791
VIVIAN:
Don't worry about it.
1400
01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:13,583
The weight always comes back.
I can't keep it off anymore.
1401
01:01:15,458 --> 01:01:17,333
This conversation went poorly.
1402
01:01:17,416 --> 01:01:19,333
I thought it was great.
1403
01:01:19,416 --> 01:01:23,916
I definitely feel like performing
for tens of millions of people now.
1404
01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:28,083
All right.
1405
01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:29,875
-So…
-(page turns)
1406
01:01:29,958 --> 01:01:31,375
Okay.
1407
01:01:32,375 --> 01:01:34,375
(thunder rumbling softly)
1408
01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:38,958
-Lucille.
-Yeah?
1409
01:01:40,416 --> 01:01:42,125
Come with me for a drink.
1410
01:01:42,208 --> 01:01:43,625
It's 10:00 a.m.
1411
01:01:43,708 --> 01:01:45,500
I'm sure it's 10:15 somewhere.
1412
01:01:45,583 --> 01:01:47,250
We have to be back onstage.
1413
01:01:47,333 --> 01:01:49,041
-I wonder if they'll wait for you.
-Bill, I'm not…
1414
01:01:49,125 --> 01:01:50,291
Kid.
1415
01:01:50,375 --> 01:01:52,666
Tell the stage Mrs. Arnaz is
taking some personal time
1416
01:01:52,750 --> 01:01:54,125
and she'll be back when she's back.
1417
01:01:54,208 --> 01:01:56,375
-Probably 15 minutes.
-Yes, ma'am.
1418
01:01:56,458 --> 01:01:59,041
And you should remind props that I need
garden shears in the opening scene.
1419
01:01:59,125 --> 01:02:00,541
-Copy.
-WILLIAM: Let's go.
1420
01:02:00,625 --> 01:02:02,833
We have to establish right away
that I'm setting a fancy table.
1421
01:02:02,916 --> 01:02:04,708
-You don't have to explain it to him.
-We'll have flowers in a vase.
1422
01:02:04,791 --> 01:02:06,291
I'll cut one of the flowers.
1423
01:02:06,375 --> 01:02:08,291
-He doesn't care.
-It'll be too short.
1424
01:02:08,375 --> 01:02:10,333
I'll cut the other flowers,
they'll be too short, and so on.
1425
01:02:10,416 --> 01:02:11,875
-Got it.
-So I need garden shears.
1426
01:02:11,958 --> 01:02:12,958
Copy.
1427
01:02:13,041 --> 01:02:15,250
Regular scissors aren't strong enough
to cut through the stems.
1428
01:02:15,333 --> 01:02:17,208
He's thinking a lot about killing you now.
1429
01:02:17,291 --> 01:02:18,291
-Fine.
-Go.
1430
01:02:18,375 --> 01:02:20,000
Yep.
1431
01:02:20,083 --> 01:02:21,708
(rain falling)
1432
01:02:21,791 --> 01:02:23,291
It's raining.
1433
01:02:23,375 --> 01:02:24,583
-Your hair gonna be all right?
-(thunder rumbling)
1434
01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:26,041
I'm fine.
1435
01:02:26,125 --> 01:02:30,250
Ever since I started doing this show,
rain bounces off my hair.
1436
01:02:30,333 --> 01:02:32,166
-That's helpful.
-Mm.
1437
01:02:32,250 --> 01:02:34,958
Honestly had no idea this place was here.
1438
01:02:35,041 --> 01:02:37,625
WILLIAM:
They like to keep a low profile.
1439
01:02:37,708 --> 01:02:39,791
LUCILLE:
Can't imagine why.
1440
01:02:39,875 --> 01:02:43,166
Kind of people go to a bar
on a Wednesday morning?
1441
01:02:43,250 --> 01:02:45,500
WILLIAM:
It's an eclectic group.
1442
01:02:45,583 --> 01:02:48,208
-What are you having?
-(“Junker's Blues” playing over radio)
1443
01:02:48,291 --> 01:02:50,083
LUCILLE:
I'll take a tetanus shot.
1444
01:02:50,166 --> 01:02:52,083
-Jim Beam, two times.
-BARTENDER: Sure, Bill.
1445
01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:54,208
(sighs) I thought you and Desi had a deal.
1446
01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:56,791
You don't drink at work.
1447
01:02:56,875 --> 01:02:59,416
Desi and I have a deal
that I won't be drunk at work.
1448
01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:01,625
Have you ever seen me drunk at work?
1449
01:03:01,708 --> 01:03:03,708
-Would I know?
-No.
1450
01:03:03,791 --> 01:03:04,958
Here's to your new baby.
1451
01:03:05,041 --> 01:03:06,458
All right, then.
1452
01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:09,916
Are they being polite
or do they not recognize us?
1453
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:11,583
They don't own television sets.
1454
01:03:13,083 --> 01:03:14,416
Why didn't I think of that?
1455
01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:16,833
Honey, I read seven newspapers every day.
1456
01:03:16,916 --> 01:03:18,833
Seven? When do you have time to do that?
1457
01:03:18,916 --> 01:03:21,666
It's 30 minutes between races
at Santa Anita,
1458
01:03:21,750 --> 01:03:23,708
and it takes me a minute and a half
to pick a horse.
1459
01:03:23,791 --> 01:03:25,333
-Aren't you at work?
-Yeah.
1460
01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:28,291
We have bookies now and telephones.
1461
01:03:28,375 --> 01:03:31,083
Know all about that.
Did a Damon Runyon picture.
1462
01:03:31,166 --> 01:03:33,000
In none of those seven newspapers
1463
01:03:33,083 --> 01:03:36,958
have I read anything about
Lucille Ball being a Communist.
1464
01:03:38,416 --> 01:03:40,791
I don't hear anyone talking about it.
1465
01:03:40,875 --> 01:03:42,458
Since when do you talk to anyone?
1466
01:03:42,541 --> 01:03:44,958
I got news for you: the less you talk,
the more things you hear,
1467
01:03:45,041 --> 01:03:46,875
and I haven't heard anything.
1468
01:03:46,958 --> 01:03:48,916
So…
1469
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:50,208
problems at home?
1470
01:03:51,750 --> 01:03:53,416
Problems at home?
1471
01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:55,541
-Yeah.
-No.
1472
01:03:55,625 --> 01:04:00,291
I'd like very much to have problems at
home, but my problem's not home that much.
1473
01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:01,458
Few times a week.
1474
01:04:01,541 --> 01:04:02,708
He was playing cards on the boat
Wednesday night.
1475
01:04:02,791 --> 01:04:04,125
I know.
1476
01:04:04,208 --> 01:04:05,458
The picture's six months old.
1477
01:04:05,541 --> 01:04:07,958
I was there when it was taken.
1478
01:04:08,041 --> 01:04:10,541
I'm saying, why wasn't he home,
where I and our daughter were?
1479
01:04:10,625 --> 01:04:14,875
Your husband is in love with America
like no man I have ever known
1480
01:04:14,958 --> 01:04:19,583
since George M. Cohan, who loved America
so much he wrote the same song five times.
1481
01:04:19,666 --> 01:04:20,708
Okay?
1482
01:04:20,791 --> 01:04:24,208
Desi loves America as much as that guy.
1483
01:04:24,291 --> 01:04:26,500
But that doesn't mean he's not Cuban.
1484
01:04:26,583 --> 01:04:28,208
-I know that.
-The world he's from
1485
01:04:28,291 --> 01:04:30,916
has a very narrow definition of manhood.
1486
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,291
-I know that, too.
-The man is the man.
1487
01:04:33,375 --> 01:04:34,416
Mm-hmm.
1488
01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:36,333
And not for nothing,
but the women are happy.
1489
01:04:36,416 --> 01:04:38,208
(scoffs softly) You've asked them?
1490
01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:40,000
They look happy.
1491
01:04:41,083 --> 01:04:42,500
I see.
1492
01:04:44,083 --> 01:04:46,125
-But that's neither here nor there.
-It really isn't.
1493
01:04:46,208 --> 01:04:49,333
He's mesmerized by you, Lucille.
1494
01:04:49,416 --> 01:04:52,500
And he misses you
when you're in two different places.
1495
01:04:52,583 --> 01:04:54,708
He does. I'm a witness.
1496
01:04:54,791 --> 01:04:56,333
-He doesn't have to.
-He…
1497
01:04:56,416 --> 01:04:57,666
We live in the same house.
1498
01:04:57,750 --> 01:04:59,625
He does have to.
1499
01:04:59,708 --> 01:05:00,958
That's what I'm saying.
1500
01:05:02,791 --> 01:05:07,083
He has to spend time away from you
so that he can feel like he's not the…
1501
01:05:07,166 --> 01:05:08,458
Second banana.
1502
01:05:08,541 --> 01:05:11,166
I navigate male egos for a living, bud.
1503
01:05:11,250 --> 01:05:13,333
Then why are you running the set?
1504
01:05:13,416 --> 01:05:15,958
Why are you running rehearsals?
1505
01:05:16,041 --> 01:05:17,666
You're doing it right in front of him.
1506
01:05:17,750 --> 01:05:20,458
I can't prioritize the director's feelings
over the health of the show.
1507
01:05:20,541 --> 01:05:23,500
No, no, not– I couldn't care less
about Donald's feelings if I tried hard.
1508
01:05:23,583 --> 01:05:24,666
He's a hack.
1509
01:05:24,750 --> 01:05:28,916
But we'll overcome that because,
frankly, we're not doing Uncle Vanya.
1510
01:05:30,291 --> 01:05:31,500
Got it.
1511
01:05:31,583 --> 01:05:33,250
But the business at the dinner table
has to be precise.
1512
01:05:33,333 --> 01:05:35,083
Really?
1513
01:05:35,166 --> 01:05:36,708
I was only in vaudeville 40 years,
1514
01:05:36,791 --> 01:05:39,375
so I wouldn't know about these things
of which you speak.
1515
01:05:39,458 --> 01:05:40,500
I know you know.
1516
01:05:40,583 --> 01:05:41,750
I'm just saying…
1517
01:05:41,833 --> 01:05:44,625
You did it in front of Desi is my point.
1518
01:05:45,833 --> 01:05:47,500
Let me tell you something about Desi.
1519
01:05:47,583 --> 01:05:49,416
He runs this show.
1520
01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:53,000
Every creative decision goes through him.
1521
01:05:53,083 --> 01:05:56,083
Every business decision–
the network, Philip Morris.
1522
01:05:56,166 --> 01:05:58,916
And if that wasn't enough,
he is camera-ready on Monday.
1523
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:02,541
Takes me five days to get a laugh.
1524
01:06:02,625 --> 01:06:04,458
He's killing it at the table read.
1525
01:06:04,541 --> 01:06:06,458
(chuckles softly)
1526
01:06:06,541 --> 01:06:09,708
And that man, believe me,
is nobody's second banana.
1527
01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:12,666
How many people know that?
1528
01:06:12,750 --> 01:06:14,041
Know what?
1529
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,458
That Desi runs the show.
1530
01:06:16,541 --> 01:06:18,541
How many people know that?
1531
01:06:23,250 --> 01:06:24,875
OLDER MADELYN:
There was a minute there
1532
01:06:24,958 --> 01:06:28,125
when Lucy was gonna be a serious actress.
1533
01:06:28,208 --> 01:06:29,708
In serious movies.
1534
01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:33,583
She was gonna compete for roles
with Crawford, Hayworth.
1535
01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:37,375
Might've been Lucy in All About Eve.
1536
01:06:37,458 --> 01:06:41,041
And you know what?
She'd have blown the doors off the place.
1537
01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:44,875
It was almost like that.
1538
01:06:44,958 --> 01:06:46,250
For a minute there.
1539
01:06:46,333 --> 01:06:48,333
♪ ♪
1540
01:06:55,666 --> 01:06:57,250
Desi!
1541
01:06:58,708 --> 01:07:00,708
(tuning guitar)
1542
01:07:01,708 --> 01:07:02,708
Desi!
1543
01:07:02,791 --> 01:07:04,125
(pants, grunts)
1544
01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:05,208
Lucy?
1545
01:07:05,291 --> 01:07:06,416
What happened?
1546
01:07:06,500 --> 01:07:08,666
(panting)
1547
01:07:08,750 --> 01:07:10,250
Flat tire!
1548
01:07:10,333 --> 01:07:11,958
Quarter of a mile back.
1549
01:07:12,041 --> 01:07:14,125
And you abandoned the car there?
1550
01:07:14,208 --> 01:07:16,666
-I sprinted the last 500 yards.
-What's going on?
1551
01:07:16,750 --> 01:07:19,166
Also you ran with a bottle
of champagne in your hand?
1552
01:07:19,250 --> 01:07:21,625
(breathlessly):
Bringing it…
1553
01:07:22,875 --> 01:07:23,958
…more festive.
1554
01:07:24,041 --> 01:07:25,041
I got it.
1555
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:26,583
I got the part.
1556
01:07:26,666 --> 01:07:28,666
-Which part?
-I got the part, Des.
1557
01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:30,125
The Big Street.
1558
01:07:30,208 --> 01:07:32,291
You said it was going to Rita Hayworth.
1559
01:07:32,375 --> 01:07:33,791
Scheduling problems.
1560
01:07:33,875 --> 01:07:35,458
Then they went to Judy Holliday.
1561
01:07:35,541 --> 01:07:37,375
Scheduling problems.
1562
01:07:37,458 --> 01:07:41,708
I got the female lead in The Big Street.
1563
01:07:41,791 --> 01:07:43,958
That's tremendous.
1564
01:07:44,958 --> 01:07:46,041
That's tremendous.
1565
01:07:46,125 --> 01:07:49,000
I'm opposite Henry Fonda.
1566
01:07:49,083 --> 01:07:51,875
But when does it start photography?
1567
01:07:51,958 --> 01:07:52,958
Two weeks.
1568
01:07:53,041 --> 01:07:54,666
(panting continues)
1569
01:07:54,750 --> 01:07:56,916
-I still can't catch my breath.
-(groans)
1570
01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:00,208
-It's Damon Runyon.
-I know!
1571
01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:03,041
I know. I read the script,
and I'm very, I'm very happy, Lucy,
1572
01:08:03,125 --> 01:08:05,458
but I was looking forward
to you coming out on tour.
1573
01:08:07,250 --> 01:08:09,375
Rita Hayworth had scheduling problems.
1574
01:08:09,458 --> 01:08:11,791
Mm, so did you.
1575
01:08:11,875 --> 01:08:15,125
You don't think I want to be in the same
city at the same time as my husband?
1576
01:08:15,208 --> 01:08:16,708
-I know. I know.
-What do I–
1577
01:08:16,791 --> 01:08:18,958
Every decision I make
is based on being near you.
1578
01:08:19,041 --> 01:08:20,916
Every single decision.
1579
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:24,458
Well, yes, but obviously not
every single decision.
1580
01:08:24,541 --> 01:08:26,958
-No? Hmm?
-(sighs)
1581
01:08:27,041 --> 01:08:29,500
You know how many years I've spent
sticking my head into frame,
1582
01:08:29,583 --> 01:08:31,416
saying something bitchy and going away?
1583
01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:34,916
Crappy little roles in pictures
I wouldn't pay a nickel to see
1584
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:37,916
if the theater had
the only available air-conditioning.
1585
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,416
-Uh-huh.
-If The Big Street is a hit,
1586
01:08:40,500 --> 01:08:45,250
I'll be getting the roles
that go to Rita and Judy and Bette.
1587
01:08:45,333 --> 01:08:46,333
Which Judy?
1588
01:08:46,416 --> 01:08:47,500
-Holliday.
-Ah.
1589
01:08:47,583 --> 01:08:49,291
Who's the baseball player
that you talk about?
1590
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:52,500
The one who sat down
and let Lou Gehrig start that streak.
1591
01:08:52,583 --> 01:08:54,000
Oh, Wally Pipp.
1592
01:08:54,083 --> 01:08:55,875
Gehrig was his understudy.
1593
01:08:55,958 --> 01:08:58,416
-Backup.
-And the guy took a rest one day.
1594
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:00,916
Gehrig came in,
didn't come out for 40 years.
1595
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,416
14 years, and it was Wally Pipp.
1596
01:09:02,500 --> 01:09:05,166
Okay, well, imagine if Wally Pipp
had scheduling problems,
1597
01:09:05,250 --> 01:09:09,833
Lou Gehrig, instead of grabbing his glove,
toured with his husband's Latin orchestra.
1598
01:09:09,916 --> 01:09:11,458
It would've changed
the course of baseball.
1599
01:09:11,541 --> 01:09:13,666
-And the course of Latin music.
-(sighs)
1600
01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:15,541
Rita Hayworth is Wally Pipp.
1601
01:09:15,625 --> 01:09:16,791
I'm Lou Gehrig.
1602
01:09:16,875 --> 01:09:18,500
The Big Street is the Yankees.
1603
01:09:18,583 --> 01:09:20,958
I understood the metaphor so long ago.
1604
01:09:22,500 --> 01:09:25,083
You don't have to tour.
You could stay in town.
1605
01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:29,333
-And do what?
-Sell out Ciro's every night.
1606
01:09:29,416 --> 01:09:31,208
♪ ♪
1607
01:09:31,291 --> 01:09:34,125
We're not a house band.
1608
01:09:34,208 --> 01:09:36,416
I'd like to sell out New York.
1609
01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:39,291
I'd like to sell out Chicago
and Miami, too.
1610
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:41,208
-I know.
-Hmm.
1611
01:09:41,291 --> 01:09:42,958
Eight weeks.
1612
01:09:43,041 --> 01:09:45,416
I'll come wherever you are
on the weekends.
1613
01:09:46,625 --> 01:09:48,708
So it'll be important that you not
fall in love with someone else
1614
01:09:48,791 --> 01:09:50,208
Mondays through Fridays.
1615
01:09:50,291 --> 01:09:52,208
Agreed.
1616
01:09:52,291 --> 01:09:53,958
Should we open the champagne,
take our clothes off
1617
01:09:54,041 --> 01:09:55,458
and go skinny-dipping in the pool?
1618
01:09:55,541 --> 01:09:57,750
That bottle of champagne
is basically a grenade now,
1619
01:09:57,833 --> 01:09:59,583
but all your other ideas were good.
1620
01:09:59,666 --> 01:10:02,875
Lucy, Lucy, Jesus.
1621
01:10:02,958 --> 01:10:04,208
Wow.
1622
01:10:04,291 --> 01:10:05,666
You're gonna be a movie star.
1623
01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:09,708
You comfortable with that?
1624
01:10:10,958 --> 01:10:13,458
Am I comfortable with that?
1625
01:10:23,500 --> 01:10:25,541
That bottle has comic timing.
1626
01:10:26,541 --> 01:10:28,541
♪ ♪
1627
01:10:36,375 --> 01:10:38,750
I've been at the studio
for almost ten years.
1628
01:10:38,833 --> 01:10:40,500
I've never been in the president's office.
1629
01:10:40,583 --> 01:10:43,708
Mr. Koerner isn't the president.
He's the head of production.
1630
01:10:44,791 --> 01:10:46,875
Second in command.
1631
01:10:46,958 --> 01:10:48,583
Still higher than I've ever gotten.
1632
01:10:48,666 --> 01:10:51,125
(intercom buzzes)
1633
01:10:51,208 --> 01:10:53,041
-Yes, sir.
-KOERNER: Send her in.
1634
01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:54,291
You can go on in.
1635
01:10:59,666 --> 01:11:01,375
-Lucille.
-(sighs)
1636
01:11:01,458 --> 01:11:03,625
-Charles Koerner.
-Lucille Ball. (chuckles)
1637
01:11:03,708 --> 01:11:05,416
You like Lucille or Lucy?
1638
01:11:05,500 --> 01:11:07,125
Lucy's fine. I mean either's fine.
1639
01:11:07,208 --> 01:11:08,750
-Lucy.
-All right.
1640
01:11:08,833 --> 01:11:10,708
And do I call you Charlie?
1641
01:11:10,791 --> 01:11:12,791
Anyone as brilliant as you were
in The Big Street
1642
01:11:12,875 --> 01:11:14,583
can call me Betsy and I wouldn't care.
1643
01:11:14,666 --> 01:11:16,250
(laughs) Thank you.
1644
01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:18,333
Please, sit. Sit here.
1645
01:11:19,583 --> 01:11:20,583
(Lucille sighs)
1646
01:11:21,625 --> 01:11:23,208
Thank you.
1647
01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:24,333
(sighs heavily)
1648
01:11:24,416 --> 01:11:27,375
That was a whole new side of you
we've never seen.
1649
01:11:27,458 --> 01:11:28,625
Where's that been?
1650
01:11:28,708 --> 01:11:30,875
-It's been buried under bad movies.
-(laughs)
1651
01:11:30,958 --> 01:11:33,583
I've heard you make
some form of that joke before.
1652
01:11:33,666 --> 01:11:37,000
Keep putting me in pictures like
The Big Street, you won't hear it again.
1653
01:11:39,291 --> 01:11:41,375
We're dropping your contract, Lucy.
1654
01:11:41,458 --> 01:11:43,500
(laughs)
1655
01:11:43,583 --> 01:11:45,583
-No, it-it's not a joke.
-That was…
1656
01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:50,000
RKO is dropping your contract.
1657
01:11:52,291 --> 01:11:53,875
I don't understand.
1658
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:57,000
We don't have anything for you.
1659
01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:01,458
But that…
1660
01:12:01,541 --> 01:12:02,833
(exhales sharply)
1661
01:12:06,083 --> 01:12:07,666
This is happening fast.
1662
01:12:07,750 --> 01:12:08,916
The Big Street was a hit.
1663
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:10,583
It was a critical hit.
1664
01:12:10,666 --> 01:12:12,625
I get that there wasn't
a stampede to the box office,
1665
01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:14,000
but you didn't lose money, did you?
1666
01:12:14,083 --> 01:12:16,250
-No.
-Do you understand the conditions
1667
01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:18,583
under which this picture was finished?
1668
01:12:18,666 --> 01:12:19,791
No, it has nothing to do
with conditions…
1669
01:12:19,875 --> 01:12:22,625
Damon Runyon left town
before principal photography,
1670
01:12:22,708 --> 01:12:25,791
our director joined the Army
during postproduction,
1671
01:12:25,875 --> 01:12:28,833
and our editor died.
1672
01:12:28,916 --> 01:12:31,083
He just flat-out died.
1673
01:12:31,166 --> 01:12:33,458
-There were a number of obstacles.
-That's accurate.
1674
01:12:33,541 --> 01:12:35,666
-Did you read the reviews?
-They were very impressive.
1675
01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:37,041
They were more than impressive.
1676
01:12:37,125 --> 01:12:40,000
This has nothing to do with
your performance in The Big Street.
1677
01:12:40,083 --> 01:12:43,125
But it should have everything to do
with my performance in The Big Street.
1678
01:12:43,208 --> 01:12:47,666
I… I showed what I can do, and that's
just the beginning of what I can do.
1679
01:12:47,750 --> 01:12:49,458
That is just the beginning of it.
1680
01:12:49,541 --> 01:12:51,833
(Lucille sighs)
1681
01:12:52,916 --> 01:12:54,666
Are you sure this isn't a joke?
1682
01:12:54,750 --> 01:12:56,375
It's a tough business.
1683
01:12:56,458 --> 01:12:57,500
I know that!
1684
01:12:57,583 --> 01:12:59,666
I've been in it since I was 14!
1685
01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,375
But you're 35 now.
1686
01:13:03,416 --> 01:13:05,458
-And that is the problem?
-No.
1687
01:13:05,541 --> 01:13:08,625
The problem is you're really 39,
aren't you?
1688
01:13:10,041 --> 01:13:11,333
Hmm.
1689
01:13:11,416 --> 01:13:15,000
39-year-olds don't go to see your movies?
1690
01:13:16,083 --> 01:13:18,375
They don't want to see stories
about themselves?
1691
01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:22,500
You came through for us when Judy Holliday
and Rita Hayworth were on other pictures,
1692
01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:24,875
and we didn't want to lose Fonda.
1693
01:13:24,958 --> 01:13:28,333
Now, this studio has a handshake
understanding with Metro and Warner,
1694
01:13:28,416 --> 01:13:31,083
and they'll loan us Holliday or Hayworth,
1695
01:13:31,166 --> 01:13:35,500
so we just don't have enough for you
to warrant keeping you under contract.
1696
01:13:35,583 --> 01:13:38,541
Judy Holliday does one thing very well,
but it's just one thing.
1697
01:13:38,625 --> 01:13:40,333
I know how you're feeling right now.
1698
01:13:40,416 --> 01:13:43,708
I've had to have this conversation
a hundred times.
1699
01:13:43,791 --> 01:13:46,416
I'm surprised
because you're terrible at it.
1700
01:13:47,875 --> 01:13:49,291
Can I make a suggestion?
1701
01:13:50,875 --> 01:13:52,166
Radio.
1702
01:13:53,791 --> 01:13:55,375
The hell did you just say to me?
1703
01:13:55,458 --> 01:13:57,333
You've got the voice for it.
1704
01:13:57,416 --> 01:13:59,833
Look, I've noticed there's a lot
you can do with your voice.
1705
01:13:59,916 --> 01:14:02,208
You should think about radio, Lucy.
1706
01:14:05,541 --> 01:14:07,833
And you should go fuck yourself, Betsy.
1707
01:14:07,916 --> 01:14:09,916
♪ ♪
1708
01:14:11,250 --> 01:14:13,250
(crickets chirping)
1709
01:14:22,916 --> 01:14:24,208
(sighs softly)
1710
01:14:27,916 --> 01:14:29,416
DESI:
Lucy?
1711
01:14:30,708 --> 01:14:32,416
What are you doing?
1712
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,625
I'm reading scripts.
1713
01:14:36,166 --> 01:14:39,375
Oh, it's 3:00 in the morning.
1714
01:14:39,458 --> 01:14:41,708
I know.
1715
01:14:41,791 --> 01:14:43,583
I'm drunk, too.
1716
01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:46,250
I know why you like drinking.
1717
01:14:46,333 --> 01:14:49,083
I didn't get it till about two hours ago.
1718
01:14:50,875 --> 01:14:52,875
You read any good movies?
1719
01:14:52,958 --> 01:14:55,291
These are radio pilots.
1720
01:14:55,375 --> 01:14:57,250
Oh, yeah?
1721
01:14:57,333 --> 01:14:58,375
Yeah.
1722
01:14:58,458 --> 01:15:01,625
There's nothing wrong with radio.
1723
01:15:01,708 --> 01:15:02,958
I do it all the time.
1724
01:15:03,041 --> 01:15:04,875
You're a bandleader.
1725
01:15:17,083 --> 01:15:19,375
You know, Bataan was a hit, too.
1726
01:15:20,541 --> 01:15:21,625
I didn't hear you.
1727
01:15:21,708 --> 01:15:23,750
Bataan was a hit.
1728
01:15:23,833 --> 01:15:26,208
I was good.
1729
01:15:26,291 --> 01:15:29,041
The reviews were valentines,
and I didn't bang a drum.
1730
01:15:30,125 --> 01:15:32,250
It would have led to better parts,
except I had to go to–
1731
01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:34,166
what do you call it?–
1732
01:15:34,250 --> 01:15:37,041
fight World War II.
1733
01:15:39,416 --> 01:15:42,541
And now those crappy little parts in
pictures you wouldn't pay a nickel to see
1734
01:15:42,625 --> 01:15:45,708
-if it was the only available
air-conditioning in the… -Des.
1735
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:47,791
I can't get them.
1736
01:15:53,166 --> 01:15:55,166
♪ ♪
1737
01:15:57,333 --> 01:15:58,750
(sighs softly)
1738
01:16:13,416 --> 01:16:15,583
DESI: Gee, honey, are you sure
those bandages are fake?
1739
01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:18,000
-Oh, yeah.
-Are you sure you're all right?
1740
01:16:18,083 --> 01:16:20,541
-Yeah, honey, I'm fine.
-Oh, yeah– oh, let me help you.
1741
01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:21,625
(groans):
Oh.
1742
01:16:21,708 --> 01:16:24,708
It's a good thing
the Mertzes had their awning up.
1743
01:16:24,791 --> 01:16:26,208
-Oh, honey.
-(groans)
1744
01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:28,583
It was all my fault.
1745
01:16:28,666 --> 01:16:30,958
No, it was my fault, honey.
1746
01:16:31,041 --> 01:16:32,250
Weren't we silly?
1747
01:16:32,333 --> 01:16:34,000
DESI:
Yes. We will never argue again.
1748
01:16:34,083 --> 01:16:36,083
Ah, baby.
1749
01:16:37,375 --> 01:16:40,458
-Lucy, are you okay?!
-Yeah, I'm fine.
1750
01:16:40,541 --> 01:16:41,958
-You sure?
-I'm sure.
1751
01:16:42,041 --> 01:16:43,500
WILLIAM:
Thank goodness you're all right.
1752
01:16:43,583 --> 01:16:44,833
LUCILLE:
Why? What's the matter?
1753
01:16:44,916 --> 01:16:47,125
When I told Ethel
the whole gag was my idea,
1754
01:16:47,208 --> 01:16:48,875
she got mad and went home to her mother.
1755
01:16:48,958 --> 01:16:50,541
-Oh…!
-Oh, no.
1756
01:16:50,625 --> 01:16:52,250
DONALD:
And we cut. Good.
1757
01:16:52,333 --> 01:16:53,541
-Is that lunch?
-(indistinct chatter)
1758
01:16:53,625 --> 01:16:54,958
That's one hour for lunch!
1759
01:16:55,041 --> 01:16:57,250
We'll do notes onstage after and go again.
1760
01:16:57,333 --> 01:16:59,208
Uh, one quick thing.
1761
01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,625
The table scene is getting good.
1762
01:17:00,708 --> 01:17:01,708
Yeah, it's not.
1763
01:17:01,791 --> 01:17:03,541
I wanted to circle back again and express
1764
01:17:03,625 --> 01:17:06,458
my serious concern about
Ricky's entrance at the top.
1765
01:17:06,541 --> 01:17:09,208
I brought it up at the table read Monday.
There haven't been new pages.
1766
01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:11,083
-Because it's gonna work.
-Hear me out.
1767
01:17:11,166 --> 01:17:12,666
-Okay.
-Right now,
1768
01:17:12,750 --> 01:17:14,416
Lucy is trimming the flowers on the table.
1769
01:17:14,500 --> 01:17:16,416
Ricky opens the door and comes in.
1770
01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:18,166
We're gonna have to cut the flowers.
1771
01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:21,000
I don't mean “cut the flowers.”
I mean cut the flowers.
1772
01:17:21,083 --> 01:17:23,833
I couldn't understand the difference
between those two line readings.
1773
01:17:23,916 --> 01:17:26,250
We're running long.
We have to cut the bit with the flowers.
1774
01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:27,458
How long?
1775
01:17:27,541 --> 01:17:28,791
About a minute.
1776
01:17:28,875 --> 01:17:31,125
All right, well,
we'll get back to the flowers.
1777
01:17:31,208 --> 01:17:33,541
The front door opens, Ricky comes in.
1778
01:17:33,625 --> 01:17:35,333
Lucy doesn't see or hear him,
which is unusual
1779
01:17:35,416 --> 01:17:37,208
because the front door is, you know,
1780
01:17:37,291 --> 01:17:38,583
-right there.
-Mm-hmm.
1781
01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:40,291
And in previous episodes,
we've established
1782
01:17:40,375 --> 01:17:42,250
Lucy's eyes and ears
are connected to her brain.
1783
01:17:42,333 --> 01:17:44,083
We-we buy the conceit.
1784
01:17:44,166 --> 01:17:46,500
-I'm sorry?
-We buy it.
1785
01:17:46,583 --> 01:17:49,500
Lucy is so focused
on making the table nice
1786
01:17:49,583 --> 01:17:51,708
she doesn't even notice
Ricky coming in the door.
1787
01:17:51,791 --> 01:17:53,500
-Okay, I'll run with that.
-Yeah.
1788
01:17:53,583 --> 01:17:55,208
Ricky walks up to her quietly.
1789
01:17:55,291 --> 01:17:57,791
He puts his hands
over her eyes and says…
1790
01:17:57,875 --> 01:17:59,500
“Guess who it is.”
1791
01:17:59,583 --> 01:18:03,125
-And then Lucy says,
“Bill? Sam? Pat? Ralph?” -Yeah.
1792
01:18:03,208 --> 01:18:04,666
-She's teasing him.
-Yes, she's teasing him.
1793
01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:06,208
That's clear. Ricky responds…
1794
01:18:06,291 --> 01:18:07,583
-“No.”
-“No.”
1795
01:18:07,666 --> 01:18:10,875
And the stage direction for Ricky
says “burning.”
1796
01:18:10,958 --> 01:18:11,958
“No!”
1797
01:18:12,041 --> 01:18:13,333
He's upset.
1798
01:18:13,416 --> 01:18:14,833
Lucy continues the teasing.
1799
01:18:14,916 --> 01:18:16,750
“George? Julius? Stephen? Ivan?”
1800
01:18:16,833 --> 01:18:18,333
-Yeah.
-We changed that to
1801
01:18:18,416 --> 01:18:19,708
“Pedro? Julio? Juan? Guillermo?”
1802
01:18:19,791 --> 01:18:21,250
MADELYN:
“Because those are Spanish names.
1803
01:18:21,333 --> 01:18:23,708
“I mean Mexican. Cuban. Latin.
1804
01:18:23,791 --> 01:18:25,208
“They're Brazilian names.
1805
01:18:25,291 --> 01:18:26,875
Turkish.”
1806
01:18:26,958 --> 01:18:28,291
-You done? -Yeah. -ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
We're moving into a meal penalty.
1807
01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:29,500
Yeah, okay.
1808
01:18:29,583 --> 01:18:30,958
LUCILLE:
Lucy guesses some names.
1809
01:18:31,041 --> 01:18:32,166
Yeah, teasingly.
1810
01:18:32,250 --> 01:18:36,958
And the script indicates that Ricky
takes his hands away from Lucy's eyes,
1811
01:18:37,041 --> 01:18:38,541
turns her around and says…
1812
01:18:38,625 --> 01:18:42,041
-“No, it's me.”
-So my question again, Jess:
1813
01:18:42,125 --> 01:18:46,416
Does Ricky honestly, truly believe
that there might be eight different men
1814
01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:51,750
who routinely walk into their apartment,
all of whom sound exactly like Desi Arnaz?
1815
01:18:52,833 --> 01:18:54,666
You think we're saying Ricky's stupid?
1816
01:18:54,750 --> 01:18:56,625
I think you're saying the audience is.
1817
01:18:56,708 --> 01:18:59,416
And that's something for which
they won't soon forgive you.
1818
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,291
You charge for these lessons?
1819
01:19:01,375 --> 01:19:02,416
A ton.
1820
01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:05,875
For the sake of the joke,
the audience will take the leap with us.
1821
01:19:05,958 --> 01:19:08,833
They will, but you'll need a busload
of orthopedists when they land.
1822
01:19:08,916 --> 01:19:09,916
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Jess.
1823
01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:11,708
Let's talk about this after lunch, huh?
1824
01:19:11,791 --> 01:19:13,666
-I have an idea.
-I got a crew here,
1825
01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:15,125
and we're about
to run into a penalty, so…
1826
01:19:15,208 --> 01:19:18,333
-Lucy is working on the flowers.
-We're cutting the flowers for time.
1827
01:19:18,416 --> 01:19:19,833
I don't mean literally
cutting the flowers in the scene…
1828
01:19:19,916 --> 01:19:21,583
I cannot go through that again.
1829
01:19:21,666 --> 01:19:23,208
Ricky opens the door, comes in,
1830
01:19:23,291 --> 01:19:26,416
shuts the door, as we've seen him do
in 37 episodes.
1831
01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:28,250
Lucy doesn't acknowledge him.
1832
01:19:28,333 --> 01:19:30,041
-Uh, so far, you're describing the script.
-Right.
1833
01:19:30,125 --> 01:19:32,375
But instead of playing
the hands-over-the-eyes guessing game,
1834
01:19:32,458 --> 01:19:34,333
Ricky just stands there.
1835
01:19:34,416 --> 01:19:37,833
He can't understand why Lucy doesn't
notice he's home any more than we can.
1836
01:19:37,916 --> 01:19:41,208
He stands there for a full beat,
and then another,
1837
01:19:41,291 --> 01:19:45,083
and then merrily,
in a slightly exaggerated manner,
1838
01:19:45,166 --> 01:19:48,208
as we've heard him do
a hundred times, he says…
1839
01:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,250
“Lucy, I'm home!”
1840
01:19:50,333 --> 01:19:51,625
(laughter)
1841
01:19:51,708 --> 01:19:53,708
For Ricky is funny.
1842
01:19:53,791 --> 01:19:55,500
Hey, Luce?
1843
01:19:55,583 --> 01:19:57,875
Let's talk about it after lunch.
1844
01:19:59,541 --> 01:20:01,416
-Jim.
-That's lunch!
1845
01:20:01,500 --> 01:20:02,583
One hour!
1846
01:20:02,666 --> 01:20:04,666
Back onstage for notes!
1847
01:20:04,750 --> 01:20:06,500
-MAN: All right, lunch!
-(indistinct chatter)
1848
01:20:10,458 --> 01:20:11,666
Hang on!
1849
01:20:11,750 --> 01:20:13,458
Desi, does that work for you?
1850
01:20:13,541 --> 01:20:15,166
Works perfect.
1851
01:20:16,250 --> 01:20:18,250
We'll talk about it after lunch.
1852
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:22,041
It needed to be fixed.
1853
01:20:22,125 --> 01:20:24,875
♪ ♪
1854
01:20:32,333 --> 01:20:33,833
BOB: I think we can get more
out of “hypocrite.”
1855
01:20:33,916 --> 01:20:35,583
-MADELYN: Yeah.
-Yeah? Like what?
1856
01:20:35,666 --> 01:20:38,333
Like Lucy turns to Desi and says,
1857
01:20:38,416 --> 01:20:40,708
“Well, it's nice to know
I'm married to a hypocrite.”
1858
01:20:40,791 --> 01:20:42,666
And Desi gets his back up and says…
1859
01:20:42,750 --> 01:20:44,041
“Hypocrite?”
1860
01:20:44,125 --> 01:20:46,375
Then turns to Fred and says,
“What's a hypocrite?”
1861
01:20:46,458 --> 01:20:48,750
Fred tells him,
“It's a person who says one thing
1862
01:20:48,833 --> 01:20:50,208
-but does another.”
-Mm-hmm.
1863
01:20:50,291 --> 01:20:52,541
Desi says, “Thank you,”
turns back to Lucy and says…
1864
01:20:52,625 --> 01:20:54,708
-“Oh, yeah?” (chuckles)
-Yeah, that's good. That's good.
1865
01:20:54,791 --> 01:20:56,500
Yeah, that's exactly
what I was gonna pitch.
1866
01:20:56,583 --> 01:20:58,541
-But I pitched it faster.
-By interrupting me.
1867
01:20:58,625 --> 01:21:00,166
How do you think I got to be
a woman in a comedy room?
1868
01:21:00,250 --> 01:21:01,250
(knocking)
1869
01:21:01,333 --> 01:21:02,833
Hey, is now a good time?
1870
01:21:02,916 --> 01:21:04,083
JESS:
Yeah. Madelyn had a good idea.
1871
01:21:04,166 --> 01:21:07,833
Desi's entrance, we shoot it both ways
and see which one gets the bigger laugh.
1872
01:21:07,916 --> 01:21:09,208
That was my idea.
1873
01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:10,833
It's a bad idea.
1874
01:21:10,916 --> 01:21:12,250
Mm. It's just not your day.
1875
01:21:12,333 --> 01:21:14,291
-Can I have a minute in your office?
-JESS: Yeah.
1876
01:21:14,375 --> 01:21:15,625
Sure.
1877
01:21:15,708 --> 01:21:17,458
(sighs):
All right.
1878
01:21:17,541 --> 01:21:18,958
(phone ringing in distance)
1879
01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:21,416
What's wrong with shooting it both ways?
1880
01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:23,875
You'll be on the floor
during the show, right?
1881
01:21:23,958 --> 01:21:25,458
I'll be where I always am.
1882
01:21:25,541 --> 01:21:27,291
In full view of the audience?
1883
01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:28,875
I suppose.
1884
01:21:28,958 --> 01:21:30,375
Since we're doing it both ways,
1885
01:21:30,458 --> 01:21:33,458
how about we do it once with your pants on
and once with your pants off?
1886
01:21:33,541 --> 01:21:35,458
-That's not the same.
-It is.
1887
01:21:35,541 --> 01:21:39,166
And I don't want to do the version
with my pants off in front of 200 people.
1888
01:21:39,250 --> 01:21:42,125
But that's not what I need
to talk to you about.
1889
01:21:42,208 --> 01:21:44,208
You're not gonna tell me
you're pregnant again, are you?
1890
01:21:44,291 --> 01:21:47,333
No.
I'm still pregnant from before, but no.
1891
01:21:47,416 --> 01:21:50,125
Jess, you know how much I value you.
1892
01:21:50,208 --> 01:21:52,333
-I think I do.
-You know you do.
1893
01:21:52,416 --> 01:21:53,500
Okay.
1894
01:21:53,583 --> 01:21:55,708
And you also know what it is
Desi does around here.
1895
01:21:55,791 --> 01:21:57,458
Sure.
1896
01:21:57,541 --> 01:22:00,125
-I mean, every business decision
goes through Desi. -Mm-hmm.
1897
01:22:00,208 --> 01:22:03,208
In fact, most business decisions
are made by Desi.
1898
01:22:03,291 --> 01:22:06,083
-You married a very bright man.
-I did.
1899
01:22:06,166 --> 01:22:08,458
He makes a lot of creative decisions, too.
1900
01:22:08,541 --> 01:22:10,500
Mm. I'm not sure I'd say a lot.
1901
01:22:10,583 --> 01:22:11,791
I would. I'd say a lot.
1902
01:22:11,875 --> 01:22:13,625
He devised the camera system that we use.
1903
01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:16,625
He's the reason the East Coast
doesn't see the show on a foggy kinescope.
1904
01:22:16,708 --> 01:22:18,583
-Yeah.
-And even though we use three cameras,
1905
01:22:18,666 --> 01:22:20,916
the studio audience can see every scene.
1906
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:22,916
-That's him, too.
-Mm-hmm.
1907
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:24,500
And the four of us, the cast,
we can see the audience.
1908
01:22:24,583 --> 01:22:25,708
I give him a lot of credit for that.
1909
01:22:25,791 --> 01:22:29,166
He's the one who thought up
Lucy being pregnant on the show.
1910
01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:32,791
That is never gonna happen,
'cause no matter what CBS says,
1911
01:22:32,875 --> 01:22:34,125
Philip Morris is never
gonna let it happen.
1912
01:22:34,208 --> 01:22:36,125
But, like I said, I give him credit.
1913
01:22:36,208 --> 01:22:38,708
That's the thing, though. You don't.
1914
01:22:38,791 --> 01:22:39,958
What do you mean?
1915
01:22:40,041 --> 01:22:42,291
He doesn't get credit
as an executive producer,
1916
01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:44,750
which, let's face it, is what he is.
1917
01:22:44,833 --> 01:22:47,125
-(sighs)
-You get sole credit.
1918
01:22:47,208 --> 01:22:49,708
I didn't win my credit in a raffle!
I earn it.
1919
01:22:49,791 --> 01:22:52,625
I'm the showrunner! Not to mention
being the creator of the show.
1920
01:22:52,708 --> 01:22:54,833
I don't see how we could
do the show without you.
1921
01:22:54,916 --> 01:22:56,083
You absolutely could not.
1922
01:22:56,166 --> 01:22:59,000
I don't see how we could do the show
without Desi either.
1923
01:22:59,083 --> 01:23:02,083
Because he plays Ricky,
which he does get a screen credit for.
1924
01:23:02,166 --> 01:23:03,625
-Jess… -Is this something
our agents should be talking about?
1925
01:23:03,708 --> 01:23:06,041
-No. -'Cause I'm not at all comfortable
with this conversation.
1926
01:23:06,125 --> 01:23:08,375
I'm about to make you less comfortable.
1927
01:23:09,416 --> 01:23:11,666
I need you to help me save my marriage.
1928
01:23:11,750 --> 01:23:14,166
♪ ♪
1929
01:23:14,250 --> 01:23:17,083
I need you to help me save my marriage.
1930
01:23:25,083 --> 01:23:27,541
What do you think
they're talking about in there?
1931
01:23:27,625 --> 01:23:30,375
I think they're talking about you.
1932
01:23:30,458 --> 01:23:33,291
I think they want to pay you less
because you're not as funny as I am.
1933
01:23:33,375 --> 01:23:35,791
Mary Pat, would you mind asking Desi
if I can come see him?
1934
01:23:35,875 --> 01:23:37,291
Sure.
1935
01:23:37,375 --> 01:23:39,083
(door closes)
1936
01:23:39,166 --> 01:23:40,500
LUCILLE:
Madelyn?
1937
01:23:40,583 --> 01:23:41,583
Yeah.
1938
01:23:42,625 --> 01:23:44,625
(phone ringing in distance)
1939
01:23:48,291 --> 01:23:50,833
-Was everything all right in there?
-Yeah.
1940
01:23:50,916 --> 01:23:52,000
-So, listen.
-Mm-hmm.
1941
01:23:52,083 --> 01:23:55,041
It has to be coherent, because if it's
anything goes, then nothing's funny.
1942
01:23:55,125 --> 01:23:57,833
-Anything Goes was a hit.
-Not Cole Porter's Anything Goes.
1943
01:23:57,916 --> 01:23:59,750
-I mean if an…
-I know.
1944
01:23:59,833 --> 01:24:01,750
-Why are you telling me?
-The opening,
1945
01:24:01,833 --> 01:24:04,625
Ricky's entrance with his hands
over my eyes, that was Jess, right?
1946
01:24:06,583 --> 01:24:11,041
Outside of that room, we make it a point
not to talk about who wrote what.
1947
01:24:11,125 --> 01:24:12,708
It wasn't Jess?
1948
01:24:12,791 --> 01:24:13,833
Again…
1949
01:24:13,916 --> 01:24:15,250
You know I'm right about the logic.
1950
01:24:15,333 --> 01:24:19,166
Why aren't you backing me up instead of
endorsing a plan to shoot it both ways?
1951
01:24:19,250 --> 01:24:22,291
Listen, why don't we get together
for a drink or a swim this weekend,
1952
01:24:22,375 --> 01:24:23,916
and we can put it on the agenda?
1953
01:24:24,000 --> 01:24:27,416
Because the show is tomorrow
and I'm fine talking about it now.
1954
01:24:27,500 --> 01:24:30,166
By all means, let's unnecessarily add more
to what you're worried about this week.
1955
01:24:30,250 --> 01:24:32,500
-I'm not worried! I'm…
-Shh.
1956
01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:33,791
(hushed):
I'm not worried.
1957
01:24:33,875 --> 01:24:36,666
I'm saying I count on you
to be the firewall, to be–
1958
01:24:36,750 --> 01:24:40,500
to-to make sure– just– logic, okay?
1959
01:24:40,583 --> 01:24:42,833
I won't say who wrote what,
but I can tell you
1960
01:24:42,916 --> 01:24:45,000
that I'm the lady in there
trying to make Lucy smarter.
1961
01:24:45,083 --> 01:24:46,166
Excuse me?
1962
01:24:46,250 --> 01:24:48,791
I'm the one trying, every week, to…
1963
01:24:48,875 --> 01:24:50,583
Lucy's dumb?
1964
01:24:50,666 --> 01:24:51,875
I didn't say that.
1965
01:24:51,958 --> 01:24:54,208
You're trying…
1966
01:24:54,291 --> 01:24:58,125
struggling, it sounds like–
to make Lucy smarter?
1967
01:24:58,208 --> 01:25:00,541
I created this character with you.
(chuckles softly)
1968
01:25:00,625 --> 01:25:02,416
And she needs to be smarter?
1969
01:25:02,500 --> 01:25:07,166
She sometimes, for the sake of comedy,
is infantilized.
1970
01:25:08,458 --> 01:25:10,666
-(exhales sharply)
-This is a crazy week,
1971
01:25:10,750 --> 01:25:12,791
time and place to be having
this conversation.
1972
01:25:12,875 --> 01:25:15,125
-This is important…
-How is she infantilized?
1973
01:25:15,208 --> 01:25:16,750
She literally says, “Waah.”
1974
01:25:16,833 --> 01:25:18,750
'Cause when she does,
60 million people laugh,
1975
01:25:18,833 --> 01:25:22,125
just like with Lou Costello
and Stan Laurel, and you get paid.
1976
01:25:22,208 --> 01:25:25,041
When those two grown men
play slow-witted five-year-olds, I cringe.
1977
01:25:25,125 --> 01:25:26,875
Then I question your comedy IQ.
1978
01:25:26,958 --> 01:25:28,375
No, you don't.
1979
01:25:28,458 --> 01:25:29,750
You think I'm the funniest writer
in the room,
1980
01:25:29,833 --> 01:25:32,250
and that's why
you're talking to me and not Jess.
1981
01:25:35,666 --> 01:25:37,333
Many people regard Lucy as clever.
1982
01:25:37,416 --> 01:25:39,625
I mean, she always has a plan
to overcome an obstacle.
1983
01:25:39,708 --> 01:25:43,375
Yeah, but oftentimes that obstacle
is her husband's permission.
1984
01:25:43,458 --> 01:25:47,958
You really think, this week, right now,
is the best time to talk about this?
1985
01:25:48,041 --> 01:25:51,625
-No! I literally said that 30 seconds ago.
-(sighs)
1986
01:25:52,625 --> 01:25:54,541
Look…
1987
01:25:54,625 --> 01:25:58,208
it's just a female perspective
from another generation.
1988
01:25:58,291 --> 01:26:00,083
Another generation?
1989
01:26:00,166 --> 01:26:02,000
Ah, you're on a roll.
1990
01:26:02,083 --> 01:26:04,916
Bette Davis, Bacall, Hepburn.
1991
01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:06,333
-Funny women.
-Judy Holliday.
1992
01:26:06,416 --> 01:26:08,041
Judy Holliday? Go to hell.
1993
01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:09,625
They are funny women.
1994
01:26:09,708 --> 01:26:12,208
And they're smart and tough
and they outsmart the men.
1995
01:26:12,291 --> 01:26:13,666
So why do you and Gracie Allen
feel like you have to…
1996
01:26:13,750 --> 01:26:15,250
Oh, stop. Okay.
1997
01:26:15,333 --> 01:26:16,500
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
1998
01:26:16,583 --> 01:26:18,458
Maddie, I love you.
1999
01:26:18,541 --> 01:26:19,916
You're like, I guess,
2000
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:22,583
-a great-granddaughter to me
from another generation. -Hmm.
2001
01:26:22,666 --> 01:26:25,208
And my fervent wish for you
is that, one day,
2002
01:26:25,291 --> 01:26:26,791
you will be half as funny as Gracie Allen.
2003
01:26:26,875 --> 01:26:31,166
In the meantime, please remember
that Lucy and Ricky and Fred and Ethel,
2004
01:26:31,250 --> 01:26:34,000
if they live past tomorrow,
have to live in a reality
2005
01:26:34,083 --> 01:26:36,458
that accepts the physical laws
of the universe.
2006
01:26:36,541 --> 01:26:38,208
Ricky knows that Lucy doesn't believe
2007
01:26:38,291 --> 01:26:40,791
there are possibly eight other men
in the apartment!
2008
01:26:40,875 --> 01:26:42,083
Understood.
2009
01:26:42,166 --> 01:26:43,458
(sighs heavily)
2010
01:26:43,541 --> 01:26:45,083
But I don't make that decision.
2011
01:26:45,166 --> 01:26:46,375
(door opens)
2012
01:26:46,458 --> 01:26:48,166
JESS:
Let's go!
2013
01:26:49,625 --> 01:26:51,000
(sighs)
2014
01:26:53,416 --> 01:26:54,916
Mary Pat, cut the flowers.
2015
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:56,500
And to be clear,
by “cut the flowers,” I mean…
2016
01:26:56,583 --> 01:26:59,000
-She knows exactly what you mean.
-Yeah, let's go.
2017
01:27:00,750 --> 01:27:02,458
(mutters):
Judy Holliday.
2018
01:27:03,500 --> 01:27:04,833
This isn't happening.
2019
01:27:04,916 --> 01:27:06,375
♪ ♪
2020
01:27:06,458 --> 01:27:07,750
(clears throat)
2021
01:27:11,625 --> 01:27:14,250
-(knocking)
-Mr. Arnaz?
2022
01:27:14,333 --> 01:27:16,000
Come in.
2023
01:27:16,083 --> 01:27:18,750
Mr. Oppenheimer is here to see you
with Mr. Carroll and Miss Pugh.
2024
01:27:18,833 --> 01:27:21,333
Uh, nothing from Mr. Lyons yet?
2025
01:27:21,416 --> 01:27:22,375
No.
2026
01:27:22,458 --> 01:27:23,625
(sighs)
2027
01:27:23,708 --> 01:27:25,291
Anyone at Philip Morris?
2028
01:27:25,375 --> 01:27:26,708
No.
2029
01:27:31,833 --> 01:27:33,750
Gracias.
2030
01:27:33,833 --> 01:27:36,166
-(phone ringing)
-Acompáñame al escenario.
2031
01:27:36,250 --> 01:27:38,083
Walk me to the stage.
We're an hour behind.
2032
01:27:38,166 --> 01:27:40,041
Okay, Madelyn's got a new joke
for the second act.
2033
01:27:40,125 --> 01:27:42,875
I just this minute told Lucy
that we don't talk about who wrote what.
2034
01:27:42,958 --> 01:27:45,000
Madelyn came up with the joke
just seconds after I did.
2035
01:27:45,083 --> 01:27:47,791
Isn't it possible that two comedy writers
working on the same script
2036
01:27:47,875 --> 01:27:49,250
came up with the same joke
at the same time?
2037
01:27:49,333 --> 01:27:50,416
-It's possible.
-Thank you.
2038
01:27:50,500 --> 01:27:52,708
-Just not what happened.
-Do I need to be here for any of this?
2039
01:27:52,791 --> 01:27:55,000
Uh, “Hypocrite? What's a hypocrite?”
2040
01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:57,791
-So that's to Fred.
-Got it. Good.
2041
01:27:57,875 --> 01:27:59,333
-Is that what you wanted me for?
-Okay, no, no, no, no, no.
2042
01:27:59,416 --> 01:28:01,958
The hypocrite joke is for episode nine.
That's the script we're working on, okay?
2043
01:28:02,041 --> 01:28:03,958
If Lucy's gonna be pregnant–
Lucy Ricardo–
2044
01:28:04,041 --> 01:28:06,375
then we have to introduce it in nine,
according to your timetable.
2045
01:28:06,458 --> 01:28:09,541
-Yeah. -So I just want to confirm that
there's no chance we're doing that, right?
2046
01:28:09,625 --> 01:28:11,333
We are doing that.
2047
01:28:11,416 --> 01:28:13,166
You know Philip Morris won't let us.
2048
01:28:13,250 --> 01:28:15,375
And-and even if they did,
we don't want to see this girl pregnant.
2049
01:28:15,458 --> 01:28:16,583
We don't want to know that she's pregnant.
2050
01:28:16,666 --> 01:28:17,833
We don't want to know
how she got pregnant.
2051
01:28:17,916 --> 01:28:20,833
Do we have viewers who don't know
how women get pregnant?
2052
01:28:20,916 --> 01:28:22,416
Yeah, they're called children.
2053
01:28:22,500 --> 01:28:25,375
Uh, do any of these children have
younger brothers or sisters?
2054
01:28:25,458 --> 01:28:28,208
You know what, you know what else
a lot of our viewers are? Christian.
2055
01:28:28,291 --> 01:28:30,083
Ah, I'm way ahead of you.
2056
01:28:30,166 --> 01:28:35,708
I'm going to have a priest, a minister
and a rabbi review every script.
2057
01:28:35,791 --> 01:28:37,916
I'm gonna get rewritten by
a priest, a minister and a rabbi?
2058
01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:39,666
-Mm-hmm.
-A joke in there somewhere.
2059
01:28:39,750 --> 01:28:41,916
Good, because if I'm rewritten
by a priest, a minister and a rabbi,
2060
01:28:42,000 --> 01:28:43,208
there aren't gonna be many
left in the script.
2061
01:28:43,291 --> 01:28:44,541
-(laughs) Good one.
-Uh, Des…
2062
01:28:44,625 --> 01:28:46,083
No, no, e-enough. Enough.
2063
01:28:46,166 --> 01:28:48,083
I sent a telegram to Alfred Lyons.
2064
01:28:48,166 --> 01:28:49,291
-You did.
-Yes.
2065
01:28:49,375 --> 01:28:50,791
And I've put the decision in his hands.
2066
01:28:50,875 --> 01:28:52,833
-Okay. Okay.
-All right.
2067
01:28:52,916 --> 01:28:54,250
(chuckles):
Okay, good.
2068
01:28:54,333 --> 01:28:57,000
-You're that sure he's gonna say no, huh?
-I am.
2069
01:28:57,083 --> 01:28:59,083
-That it? Okay.
-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.
2070
01:28:59,166 --> 01:29:02,333
Oh, Bob, Bob, tell Desi that thing
you were saying before.
2071
01:29:03,416 --> 01:29:04,500
Me?
2072
01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:06,625
Yeah.
2073
01:29:06,708 --> 01:29:08,333
-Really?
-DESI: Guys.
2074
01:29:08,416 --> 01:29:09,958
JESS:
No, it was interesting.
2075
01:29:10,041 --> 01:29:11,666
-Bob was saying that you…
-Hmm?
2076
01:29:11,750 --> 01:29:13,791
…are really the title character
of the show.
2077
01:29:13,875 --> 01:29:17,708
Because you are the “I” in I Love Lucy.
2078
01:29:18,916 --> 01:29:20,375
Mm-hmm.
2079
01:29:20,458 --> 01:29:21,875
So strictly speaking,
you have top billing.
2080
01:29:22,958 --> 01:29:25,250
I am the “I” in I Love Lucy.
2081
01:29:25,333 --> 01:29:27,291
(chuckles):
Yeah.
2082
01:29:27,375 --> 01:29:28,875
I never thought of it that way.
2083
01:29:28,958 --> 01:29:30,916
-Yeah, you like that?
-I like that.
2084
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:32,000
Yeah.
2085
01:29:32,083 --> 01:29:33,875
(chuckles):
Jess…
2086
01:29:33,958 --> 01:29:37,333
patronize me again,
and I'll stick my hand down your throat
2087
01:29:37,416 --> 01:29:39,958
and pull your fucking lungs out.
(pops lips)
2088
01:29:40,041 --> 01:29:41,791
-Look… (stammers)
-ROSEN: Excuse me.
2089
01:29:41,875 --> 01:29:42,875
What is it?
2090
01:29:42,958 --> 01:29:44,666
It-It's a telegram for Mr. Arnaz.
2091
01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:47,416
-It's from Mr. Lyons and Philip Morris.
-Mm.
2092
01:29:48,833 --> 01:29:50,833
-Vamos a ver.
-Yeah.
2093
01:29:54,875 --> 01:29:56,041
Let's go, please.
2094
01:29:56,125 --> 01:29:58,166
-We are an hour behind.
-Yeah.
2095
01:30:03,833 --> 01:30:05,666
What does it say?
2096
01:30:06,750 --> 01:30:09,791
“To all Philip Morris and CBS employees:
2097
01:30:11,041 --> 01:30:13,166
Don't fuck with the Cuban.”
2098
01:30:14,375 --> 01:30:16,958
(thunder rumbling)
2099
01:30:19,916 --> 01:30:22,625
LUCILLE: “He didn't come home
and he hasn't called.
2100
01:30:22,708 --> 01:30:25,916
Not that it makes any difference to me.”
2101
01:30:26,000 --> 01:30:28,708
“Oh, I can see that it doesn't make
any difference to you.
2102
01:30:28,791 --> 01:30:31,750
Why don't you call Ricky
and tell him you're sorry?”
2103
01:30:31,833 --> 01:30:35,125
“What? You think I'd allow my pride…”
Hmm.
2104
01:30:35,208 --> 01:30:38,416
“Do you think
I'd swallow my pride like that?”
2105
01:30:38,500 --> 01:30:39,500
(whispers):
Never.
2106
01:30:41,125 --> 01:30:42,333
(whispers):
What are you doing up?
2107
01:30:42,416 --> 01:30:45,208
(hushed):
I woke up and you weren't there.
2108
01:30:45,291 --> 01:30:49,291
So I went to the nursery
to see if everything was okay, and…
2109
01:30:49,375 --> 01:30:51,416
she kicked her blanket off, so I fixed it.
2110
01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:53,416
That woke her up.
2111
01:30:53,500 --> 01:30:56,125
But as you can see,
I got her back to sleep.
2112
01:30:56,208 --> 01:30:57,833
(thunder rumbling softly)
2113
01:30:57,916 --> 01:31:00,791
You know we pay a housekeeper
to do the laundry, right?
2114
01:31:01,875 --> 01:31:04,375
I like doing laundry.
I never get the chance.
2115
01:31:05,458 --> 01:31:08,166
Okay, I'm going to put her back
in her little apartment now.
2116
01:31:09,250 --> 01:31:10,416
You should come back to bed.
2117
01:31:10,500 --> 01:31:11,708
I will.
2118
01:31:13,500 --> 01:31:15,041
(exhales heavily)
2119
01:31:17,791 --> 01:31:20,416
“Do you think I'd call him
and go crawling back?”
2120
01:31:20,500 --> 01:31:23,083
“What? Do you think I'd swallow my pride?”
2121
01:31:23,166 --> 01:31:26,791
“Do you think I'd call and go crawling…”
2122
01:31:26,875 --> 01:31:29,041
-(thunder rumbling softly)
-(sighs heavily)
2123
01:31:29,125 --> 01:31:30,500
(inhales sharply)
2124
01:31:30,583 --> 01:31:33,375
♪ ♪
2125
01:31:35,625 --> 01:31:39,666
(whispers): “What? Do you think
I'd swallow my pride like that?”
2126
01:31:56,541 --> 01:31:58,541
♪ ♪
2127
01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:25,000
♪ ♪
2128
01:32:50,000 --> 01:32:52,000
♪ ♪
2129
01:33:05,333 --> 01:33:07,208
-WILLIAM: Lucy?
-LUCILLE: Over here.
2130
01:33:07,291 --> 01:33:08,750
Thanks, Bobby.
2131
01:33:08,833 --> 01:33:10,500
BOBBY:
You got it, Bill.
2132
01:33:10,583 --> 01:33:12,125
WILLIAM:
(sighs) What the hell?
2133
01:33:12,208 --> 01:33:14,125
LUCILLE:
Thanks for coming down.
2134
01:33:15,208 --> 01:33:18,083
-It's 2:00 in the morning.
-Sorry about that.
2135
01:33:20,541 --> 01:33:21,541
Kid, what's going on?
2136
01:33:21,625 --> 01:33:23,875
I'm gonna restage the dinner scene.
2137
01:33:23,958 --> 01:33:26,291
Let's go to my dressing room
and call Desi.
2138
01:33:26,375 --> 01:33:29,166
No, Desi's at home with the baby.
We can do this.
2139
01:33:29,250 --> 01:33:31,250
-Does he know you're here?
-He's sleeping.
2140
01:33:31,333 --> 01:33:33,125
Let me take you home.
2141
01:33:34,125 --> 01:33:36,416
-Is that him?
-That's Viv.
2142
01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,583
You called her, too?
2143
01:33:38,666 --> 01:33:41,750
-I'm restaging the dinner scene.
-(car door opens, closes)
2144
01:33:41,833 --> 01:33:43,750
This isn't for beginners, you know.
This isn't school.
2145
01:33:43,833 --> 01:33:45,541
I don't hire the directors.
2146
01:33:45,625 --> 01:33:47,958
I know. I'm just saying.
2147
01:33:48,041 --> 01:33:50,875
-VIVIAN: What's happening here?
-Thanks for coming, Viv.
2148
01:33:50,958 --> 01:33:53,083
-Is everything all right?
-WILLIAM: The three of us
2149
01:33:53,166 --> 01:33:55,208
are on an empty soundstage
at 2:00 in the morning,
2150
01:33:55,291 --> 01:33:57,541
she's drunk, I'm not.
2151
01:33:57,625 --> 01:33:59,458
So, yeah, everything's great.
Why do you ask?
2152
01:33:59,541 --> 01:34:01,458
Your call just said to come to the stage,
that it was an emergency.
2153
01:34:01,541 --> 01:34:03,333
-So I…
-We need to re-block the dinner scene.
2154
01:34:03,416 --> 01:34:05,333
It's not gonna take long.
2155
01:34:05,416 --> 01:34:06,833
-What?
-You heard her right.
2156
01:34:06,916 --> 01:34:10,291
It won't take long.
We just need to make an adjustment.
2157
01:34:11,625 --> 01:34:15,333
Two people who are fighting
have to share a seat at a dinner table.
2158
01:34:15,416 --> 01:34:21,166
First thing, we take this, move it upstage
so the camera can see you.
2159
01:34:21,250 --> 01:34:24,875
Now, this can't just be
a mishmash of pushing.
2160
01:34:24,958 --> 01:34:27,166
Can't just be a scrum.
2161
01:34:27,250 --> 01:34:29,000
Each move has to be articulate.
2162
01:34:29,083 --> 01:34:31,416
So Ethel elbows Fred.
2163
01:34:31,500 --> 01:34:32,500
Elbow him.
2164
01:34:32,583 --> 01:34:33,916
(audience laughter)
2165
01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:36,166
Fred elbows Ethel a little harder.
2166
01:34:36,250 --> 01:34:37,250
-Ow!
-(audience laughter)
2167
01:34:37,333 --> 01:34:39,708
Ethel elbows Fred harder.
2168
01:34:39,791 --> 01:34:41,208
-Hey!
-Then Fred.
2169
01:34:42,375 --> 01:34:44,583
Now hit each other at the same time
and fall off the chair.
2170
01:34:45,666 --> 01:34:47,833
(audience laughter, clapping)
2171
01:34:47,916 --> 01:34:48,875
That's that.
2172
01:34:48,958 --> 01:34:52,583
Let's run it a couple of times at speed.
Hmm?
2173
01:34:53,583 --> 01:34:54,750
Did something happen?
2174
01:34:54,833 --> 01:34:56,916
-I'm sorry?
-At home.
2175
01:34:57,000 --> 01:34:59,250
-Did something just happen?
-Uh… (exhales)
2176
01:34:59,333 --> 01:35:01,708
No. I was, um…
2177
01:35:03,708 --> 01:35:05,500
No.
2178
01:35:05,583 --> 01:35:07,583
I was doing some laundry and…
2179
01:35:07,666 --> 01:35:09,166
No.
2180
01:35:11,916 --> 01:35:13,916
Yeah. (sniffs) Yeah.
2181
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:15,333
I wanted to fix this beat.
2182
01:35:15,416 --> 01:35:18,000
I… (exhales heavily) I couldn't sleep.
2183
01:35:23,291 --> 01:35:26,791
It's like when you're not sure
if you've left the oven unlocked.
2184
01:35:26,875 --> 01:35:28,375
-Door unlocked. Nothing.
-(fingers snap)
2185
01:35:28,458 --> 01:35:29,458
I wanted to fix this beat.
2186
01:35:29,541 --> 01:35:31,375
Let's do it again.
2187
01:35:37,083 --> 01:35:40,208
You know I did this show
so Desi and I could be together?
2188
01:35:40,291 --> 01:35:42,041
♪ ♪
2189
01:35:42,125 --> 01:35:44,500
I had no idea it was gonna be a hit.
2190
01:35:47,208 --> 01:35:49,166
I just thought,
“Well, the construction department's gonna
2191
01:35:49,250 --> 01:35:52,208
build us a little apartment, and
that's where we'll live most of the time.”
2192
01:35:52,291 --> 01:35:53,958
You know?
2193
01:35:57,541 --> 01:35:59,416
And it worked out.
2194
01:35:59,500 --> 01:36:01,250
This is where…
2195
01:36:08,250 --> 01:36:10,791
It's like a story
you'd read a little girl.
2196
01:36:11,875 --> 01:36:13,875
A witch puts a curse on a woman.
2197
01:36:13,958 --> 01:36:17,125
She'll be adored by the man she loves,
2198
01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:20,541
but only as long as she stays on this…
2199
01:36:20,625 --> 01:36:22,250
(whispers):
patch of ground.
2200
01:36:23,583 --> 01:36:24,791
(chuckles softly)
2201
01:36:26,041 --> 01:36:29,166
It's still a lot more
than most people get.
2202
01:36:34,500 --> 01:36:35,708
Let's run it at speed.
2203
01:36:38,208 --> 01:36:39,666
I'm gonna drive you home.
2204
01:36:39,750 --> 01:36:42,250
-Let me take…
-I am the biggest asset
2205
01:36:42,333 --> 01:36:45,375
in the portfolio of
the Columbia Broadcasting System,
2206
01:36:45,458 --> 01:36:51,083
the biggest asset in the portfolio
of Philip Morris tobacco, Westinghouse.
2207
01:36:51,166 --> 01:36:54,833
I get paid a fortune
to do exactly what I love doing.
2208
01:36:54,916 --> 01:36:59,958
I work side by side with my husband,
who is genuinely impressed by me.
2209
01:37:00,041 --> 01:37:04,041
And all I have to do to keep it is kill
every week for 36 weeks in a row,
2210
01:37:04,125 --> 01:37:07,291
and then do it again the next year.
2211
01:37:07,375 --> 01:37:09,833
Kill.
2212
01:37:09,916 --> 01:37:12,625
So let's do it again.
2213
01:37:12,708 --> 01:37:14,708
♪ ♪
2214
01:37:23,083 --> 01:37:25,333
OLDER MADELYN:
After RKO dropped Lucy's contract,
2215
01:37:25,416 --> 01:37:28,250
MGM had her in for a Technicolor test,
2216
01:37:28,333 --> 01:37:33,958
which she didn't know yet would be one of
the most important moments in her life.
2217
01:37:34,041 --> 01:37:38,833
A man named Sydney Guilaroff
was Metro's chief hair stylist.
2218
01:37:38,916 --> 01:37:43,833
Looked at Lucy and said, “The hair
is brown but the soul is on fire.”
2219
01:37:45,333 --> 01:37:47,000
He dyed her hair a new color.
2220
01:37:47,083 --> 01:37:48,375
-(indistinct chatter)
-Quiet, please.
2221
01:37:48,458 --> 01:37:50,416
(band playing lively theme music)
2222
01:37:50,500 --> 01:37:53,708
It's time for My Favorite Husband,
starring Lucille Ball.
2223
01:37:53,791 --> 01:37:54,833
(applause)
2224
01:37:54,916 --> 01:37:56,916
Jell-O, everybody!
2225
01:38:00,500 --> 01:38:02,500
ANNOUNCER:
Yes, it's the gay family series,
2226
01:38:02,583 --> 01:38:04,666
starring Lucille Ball
with Richard Denning,
2227
01:38:04,750 --> 01:38:07,708
transcribed and brought to you
by the Jell-O family of desserts.
2228
01:38:07,791 --> 01:38:10,291
-♪ J-E-L-L-Oh! ♪
-(band playing jingle)
2229
01:38:10,375 --> 01:38:14,041
♪ The big red letters
stand for the Jell-O family ♪
2230
01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:18,125
♪ Oh, the big red letters stand for
the Jell-O family ♪
2231
01:38:18,208 --> 01:38:19,666
-♪ That's Jell-O ♪
-♪ Yum, yum, yum ♪
2232
01:38:19,750 --> 01:38:21,750
-♪ Jell-O puddings ♪
-♪ Yum, yum, yum. ♪
2233
01:38:21,833 --> 01:38:23,125
(jingle ends)
2234
01:38:23,208 --> 01:38:25,333
ANNOUNCER:
And now, Lucille Ball with Richard Denning
2235
01:38:25,416 --> 01:38:29,291
as Liz and George Cooper,
two people who live together and like it.
2236
01:38:29,375 --> 01:38:30,958
-(light music playing)
-As we look in on the Coopers,
2237
01:38:31,041 --> 01:38:33,500
it's a beautiful spring day
and Liz is just going to the kitchen
2238
01:38:33,583 --> 01:38:35,208
-to talk to Katy, the maid.
-(birds chirping)
2239
01:38:35,291 --> 01:38:38,125
-Oh, Katy?
-Yes, Mrs. Cooper?
2240
01:38:38,208 --> 01:38:40,458
Katy, I've got some good news for you.
2241
01:38:40,541 --> 01:38:42,125
-Uh-oh.
-“Uh-oh”?
2242
01:38:42,208 --> 01:38:43,458
What do you mean, “Uh-oh”?
2243
01:38:43,541 --> 01:38:46,625
I say I've got some good news
and you say, “Uh-oh”?
2244
01:38:46,708 --> 01:38:48,500
(audience laughter)
2245
01:38:48,583 --> 01:38:54,000
Every time you say you've got good news,
it's usually good for you and bad for me.
2246
01:38:54,083 --> 01:38:56,916
Oh, well…
2247
01:38:57,000 --> 01:38:59,125
that's a little true.
2248
01:38:59,208 --> 01:39:00,500
(audience laughter)
2249
01:39:04,541 --> 01:39:05,958
-(knocking)
-JESS: Lucy?
2250
01:39:06,041 --> 01:39:07,708
Come on in.
2251
01:39:09,958 --> 01:39:11,625
That was a good show.
2252
01:39:11,708 --> 01:39:12,958
Yeah, I thought so, too.
2253
01:39:13,041 --> 01:39:15,000
Pass it on to Maddie and Bob, would you?
2254
01:39:15,083 --> 01:39:18,000
Mm-hmm. I've, uh, I got two gentlemen
out here who'd like to meet you,
2255
01:39:18,083 --> 01:39:20,416
and you're gonna want to hear
what they have to say.
2256
01:39:20,500 --> 01:39:22,541
Does it need to sound ominous?
Can't they just come in?
2257
01:39:22,625 --> 01:39:24,083
(chuckles softly)
2258
01:39:24,166 --> 01:39:25,625
Yeah. Please, come in.
2259
01:39:28,583 --> 01:39:30,708
-Lucille Ball.
-Yes, sir.
2260
01:39:30,791 --> 01:39:33,500
David Levy,
head of comedy development, CBS.
2261
01:39:33,583 --> 01:39:35,083
David Hart,
head of current programming, CBS.
2262
01:39:35,166 --> 01:39:38,125
Well, David and David,
2263
01:39:38,208 --> 01:39:41,250
I've been in a current comedy at CBS
and I've never heard of either of you.
2264
01:39:41,333 --> 01:39:43,166
CBS Television.
2265
01:39:43,250 --> 01:39:45,291
CBS does television?
2266
01:39:45,375 --> 01:39:48,333
-Yeah. Edward R. Murrow is one of our t…
-I was kidding.
2267
01:39:48,416 --> 01:39:49,458
-Understood.
-That was funny.
2268
01:39:49,541 --> 01:39:50,791
Thank you.
2269
01:39:50,875 --> 01:39:53,291
These, uh, these men
have an interesting idea.
2270
01:39:53,375 --> 01:39:55,750
LEVY: Lucy, we've been here
to the show a few times now.
2271
01:39:55,833 --> 01:39:58,875
We noticed that when you do the show,
you use gestures and expressions.
2272
01:39:58,958 --> 01:40:00,125
You mean the acting?
2273
01:40:00,208 --> 01:40:01,208
Yeah.
2274
01:40:01,291 --> 01:40:04,583
My face, my body, my voice,
that's all I get to work with.
2275
01:40:04,666 --> 01:40:06,750
It's just unusual because it's radio.
2276
01:40:06,833 --> 01:40:07,833
I watched Jack Benny.
2277
01:40:07,916 --> 01:40:10,541
He plays it for the studio audience.
2278
01:40:10,625 --> 01:40:12,208
It works pretty well for him.
2279
01:40:12,291 --> 01:40:13,375
It does.
2280
01:40:13,458 --> 01:40:15,708
And it works pretty well for you, too.
Very well.
2281
01:40:15,791 --> 01:40:18,750
And we think it's a shame
that no one gets to see it.
2282
01:40:18,833 --> 01:40:20,833
Invent a way to see what's on the radio.
2283
01:40:20,916 --> 01:40:23,083
We did. It's television.
2284
01:40:23,166 --> 01:40:25,833
-Are you here to sell me one?
-JESS: Lucy.
2285
01:40:25,916 --> 01:40:29,583
They want to put
My Favorite Husband on TV.
2286
01:40:31,041 --> 01:40:33,041
♪ ♪
2287
01:40:36,708 --> 01:40:38,333
-LUCILLE: I'm very interested.
-(lively chatter)
2288
01:40:38,416 --> 01:40:39,875
ROGER:
That's great.
2289
01:40:39,958 --> 01:40:42,583
LEVY:
Is it too early to raise a glass?
2290
01:40:42,666 --> 01:40:44,208
To My Favorite Husband.
2291
01:40:44,291 --> 01:40:45,541
-LUCILLE: Yes.
-(chuckles)
2292
01:40:45,625 --> 01:40:47,875
Except I don't want to do
My Favorite Husband.
2293
01:40:49,916 --> 01:40:52,958
-I'm confused.
-Yeah, me, too.
2294
01:40:53,041 --> 01:40:54,708
Don't panic. It's simple.
2295
01:40:54,791 --> 01:40:57,708
I'm interested in the idea of doing
My Favorite Husband on television.
2296
01:40:57,791 --> 01:40:59,375
I just want it to be a different show.
2297
01:41:00,750 --> 01:41:03,250
(chuckles):
What kind of show do you want it to be?
2298
01:41:03,333 --> 01:41:05,833
One where Desi plays my husband.
2299
01:41:08,416 --> 01:41:11,291
I understand there's a casting issue.
2300
01:41:11,375 --> 01:41:13,875
-Was that to me?
-Yes.
2301
01:41:13,958 --> 01:41:16,041
I wasn't sure. You're quite a ways away.
2302
01:41:16,125 --> 01:41:18,583
Our casting department
has come up with a list
2303
01:41:18,666 --> 01:41:21,333
of very exciting names
that we think you'll like.
2304
01:41:21,416 --> 01:41:23,833
-Pass this down to Lucy.
-These are all very funny men.
2305
01:41:23,916 --> 01:41:25,291
I think we have mimeos for everyone.
2306
01:41:25,375 --> 01:41:27,666
One of the best lists
I've seen in a while.
2307
01:41:27,750 --> 01:41:28,708
Number 12 died last week.
2308
01:41:28,791 --> 01:41:30,416
-That's my fault.
-There's no issue.
2309
01:41:30,500 --> 01:41:32,458
What was that?
2310
01:41:32,541 --> 01:41:34,458
I was answering Mr. Macy.
2311
01:41:34,541 --> 01:41:35,750
There's no casting issue.
2312
01:41:35,833 --> 01:41:39,875
I'm ready and eager to do
a half-hour domestic comedy for CBS,
2313
01:41:39,958 --> 01:41:44,416
if the role of my husband–
let's call him Shmezy– is played by Desi.
2314
01:41:44,500 --> 01:41:46,541
-Can I remark on this?
-Please.
2315
01:41:46,625 --> 01:41:50,541
On My Favorite Husband, your husband
is the fifth vice president of a bank.
2316
01:41:50,625 --> 01:41:52,708
-Yes.
-Can I ask you, in all candor,
2317
01:41:52,791 --> 01:41:56,125
do you see Desi
as the fifth vice president of a bank?
2318
01:41:56,208 --> 01:41:59,000
I can't see him being
the fifth vice president of anything.
2319
01:41:59,083 --> 01:42:00,666
I can see him owning the bank.
2320
01:42:01,625 --> 01:42:02,833
You see the problem?
2321
01:42:02,916 --> 01:42:04,958
I see what you think is the problem.
2322
01:42:05,041 --> 01:42:06,333
-MACY: Lucy.
-Yes.
2323
01:42:06,416 --> 01:42:08,875
I don't ordinarily come
to meetings like this.
2324
01:42:08,958 --> 01:42:13,166
This meeting is several floors below
my general interest.
2325
01:42:13,250 --> 01:42:16,958
I'm here to deliver a hard truth.
2326
01:42:17,041 --> 01:42:23,416
We cannot have an all-American girl
married to a man who isn't American.
2327
01:42:23,500 --> 01:42:25,083
He is American.
2328
01:42:25,166 --> 01:42:29,083
He was a sergeant in the U.S. Army
and he served in the war.
2329
01:42:29,166 --> 01:42:31,916
You know exactly what I mean, Lucy.
2330
01:42:32,000 --> 01:42:34,125
-He's Spanish.
-Still no.
2331
01:42:34,208 --> 01:42:35,625
He's never been to Spain in his life.
2332
01:42:35,708 --> 01:42:37,250
He speaks Spanish. He was born in Cuba.
2333
01:42:37,333 --> 01:42:41,500
His father was the mayor of Santiago,
Cuba's second largest city.
2334
01:42:41,583 --> 01:42:43,583
-You know exactly what…
-What you mean? Yes.
2335
01:42:43,666 --> 01:42:44,708
I do.
2336
01:42:44,791 --> 01:42:47,250
Look, I'm not here
to get a job for my nephew.
2337
01:42:47,333 --> 01:42:49,958
Desi Arnaz is a phenomenally talented man.
2338
01:42:50,041 --> 01:42:52,833
Not just a world-class musician,
but a very good actor
2339
01:42:52,916 --> 01:42:56,416
who would be a movie star if there was
such a thing as a Cuban movie star.
2340
01:42:56,500 --> 01:42:59,041
Moreover, we work very well together.
2341
01:42:59,125 --> 01:43:02,500
I go out and meet him when he's touring,
he brings me up for some sketches,
2342
01:43:02,583 --> 01:43:03,833
and it works.
2343
01:43:03,916 --> 01:43:05,166
-Jess?
-Yeah, it works.
2344
01:43:05,250 --> 01:43:08,000
Any cultural differences
will make for good comedy.
2345
01:43:08,083 --> 01:43:09,208
Am I right, Jess?
2346
01:43:09,291 --> 01:43:10,875
You're not wrong.
2347
01:43:10,958 --> 01:43:12,583
Now, I don't want to take
another meeting like this
2348
01:43:12,666 --> 01:43:14,666
'cause I don't know how many more people
will fit around the table.
2349
01:43:14,750 --> 01:43:16,916
My position is not gonna change.
2350
01:43:17,000 --> 01:43:18,416
You want me on television?
2351
01:43:18,500 --> 01:43:21,000
There is only one television show
that I'm willing to do.
2352
01:43:21,083 --> 01:43:23,791
So, what's it gonna be?
2353
01:43:24,875 --> 01:43:26,458
(sighs softly)
2354
01:43:27,541 --> 01:43:30,708
(band playing I Love Lucy theme)
2355
01:43:37,250 --> 01:43:38,666
(lively chatter)
2356
01:43:50,541 --> 01:43:51,916
All right, holding. Get Des.
2357
01:43:57,500 --> 01:44:00,375
-(music ends)
-(applause)
2358
01:44:00,458 --> 01:44:02,416
(applause continues in distance)
2359
01:44:03,500 --> 01:44:04,958
We think it's about 15 minutes.
2360
01:44:06,041 --> 01:44:07,541
-You think?
-We're holding for something.
2361
01:44:07,625 --> 01:44:10,375
-I'm not sure what.
-Okay, thanks.
2362
01:44:10,458 --> 01:44:11,875
Holding?
2363
01:44:13,083 --> 01:44:14,250
(knocking)
2364
01:44:14,333 --> 01:44:16,333
Yeah, come in.
2365
01:44:17,375 --> 01:44:19,000
(sighs)
2366
01:44:20,541 --> 01:44:22,875
-Can I have a second?
-Sure.
2367
01:44:23,833 --> 01:44:25,833
-(footsteps receding)
-(band playing in distance)
2368
01:44:27,333 --> 01:44:29,041
I think I know why you want to see me.
2369
01:44:29,125 --> 01:44:31,208
-Do you?
-Hear me out.
2370
01:44:31,291 --> 01:44:32,416
I asked you to do me a favor, Jess.
2371
01:44:32,500 --> 01:44:34,416
-I asked you to give him an E.P. credit.
-Mm-hmm.
2372
01:44:34,500 --> 01:44:38,250
Instead, you tried to convince him he was
the title character or some bullshit.
2373
01:44:38,333 --> 01:44:39,375
What the hell was that?!
2374
01:44:39,458 --> 01:44:40,791
-I'm sorry if he was insulted.
-(sighs)
2375
01:44:40,875 --> 01:44:42,416
I mean, I know he's insulted,
so I'm sorry.
2376
01:44:42,500 --> 01:44:44,916
He wasn't insulted.
He was laughing about it.
2377
01:44:45,000 --> 01:44:46,541
But, yeah, he's insulted.
2378
01:44:46,625 --> 01:44:48,208
No, he's offended. I'm insulted.
2379
01:44:48,291 --> 01:44:51,458
-I asked you to do me a small favor.
-Yeah.
2380
01:44:51,541 --> 01:44:53,416
And it's not like
you don't owe me a couple.
2381
01:44:53,500 --> 01:44:55,583
(sighs)
2382
01:44:55,666 --> 01:44:57,666
It wasn't a small favor.
2383
01:44:57,750 --> 01:44:59,541
And I don't know what you think I owe you.
2384
01:44:59,625 --> 01:45:01,375
-Really?
-It wasn't a small favor.
2385
01:45:01,458 --> 01:45:04,250
-You asked me to save your marriage.
-No, I…
2386
01:45:04,333 --> 01:45:06,333
And-and it's not the first time
you've asked me to do that, is it?
2387
01:45:06,416 --> 01:45:09,208
I asked you to give him
an E.P. credit, that's all.
2388
01:45:09,291 --> 01:45:11,416
Oh, no problem.
Can my wife play Lucy once in a while?
2389
01:45:11,500 --> 01:45:13,250
If your wife played Lucy once in a while,
2390
01:45:13,333 --> 01:45:15,958
I would think it appropriate
she be so credited.
2391
01:45:16,041 --> 01:45:17,583
And what do you mean
it's not the first time
2392
01:45:17,666 --> 01:45:19,625
-I asked you to save my marriage?
-(scoffs)
2393
01:45:19,708 --> 01:45:21,375
(imitating Lucille): “Jess, Jess,
we'll have Desi play my husband.
2394
01:45:21,458 --> 01:45:23,583
-It'll save my marriage.”
-Was that supposed to be me?
2395
01:45:23,666 --> 01:45:25,083
-Yeah, yeah.
-Don't do voices.
2396
01:45:25,166 --> 01:45:27,083
Oh, are you insulted? Desi's offended?
2397
01:45:27,166 --> 01:45:29,875
You asked me to give away my job title
like it was a parking spot!
2398
01:45:29,958 --> 01:45:31,208
You're right.
2399
01:45:31,291 --> 01:45:32,708
-I'm sorry!
-Jesus Christ, Lucy!
2400
01:45:32,791 --> 01:45:34,625
Sometimes I think that you…
2401
01:45:37,625 --> 01:45:38,833
Wait, what?
2402
01:45:40,416 --> 01:45:42,125
You're right. I'm sorry.
2403
01:45:42,208 --> 01:45:43,375
I was dead wrong.
2404
01:45:43,458 --> 01:45:45,666
I wasn't expecting that.
2405
01:45:45,750 --> 01:45:47,250
-I know.
-Have you ever said that to me before?
2406
01:45:47,333 --> 01:45:49,250
I doubt it, but…
2407
01:45:49,333 --> 01:45:51,791
I've thought it, if that means anything.
2408
01:45:51,875 --> 01:45:53,708
It does.
2409
01:45:54,708 --> 01:45:57,875
It's just been
a compound fracture of a week.
2410
01:45:59,875 --> 01:46:01,500
Hey.
2411
01:46:01,583 --> 01:46:03,625
-Why are we holding?
-I'm not sure.
2412
01:46:03,708 --> 01:46:05,208
We're holding. Someone has to know why.
2413
01:46:05,291 --> 01:46:07,250
-He's-he's coming.
-(knocking)
2414
01:46:07,333 --> 01:46:09,625
-(sighs)
-Come in.
2415
01:46:09,708 --> 01:46:11,458
Desi's asking to see you in his office.
2416
01:46:12,541 --> 01:46:14,583
-You mean in his dressing room?
-No, he's in his office
2417
01:46:14,666 --> 01:46:17,083
with some CBS executives
and some men from Philip Morris.
2418
01:46:19,875 --> 01:46:21,583
Why is he in his office at showtime?
2419
01:46:24,000 --> 01:46:26,250
♪ ♪
2420
01:46:28,125 --> 01:46:30,875
The evening editions just came out.
2421
01:46:34,833 --> 01:46:36,250
Listen to me.
2422
01:46:36,333 --> 01:46:38,000
Memorize this.
2423
01:46:38,083 --> 01:46:40,041
“It's none of your fucking business.”
2424
01:46:44,208 --> 01:46:45,291
There.
2425
01:46:45,375 --> 01:46:47,791
Let that be the best thing I ever wrote.
2426
01:46:54,416 --> 01:46:55,625
Nah.
2427
01:46:55,708 --> 01:46:57,416
It's still “Vitameatavegamin.”
2428
01:47:00,500 --> 01:47:01,958
(sighs)
2429
01:47:05,208 --> 01:47:07,208
(hushed chatter)
2430
01:47:10,791 --> 01:47:12,208
(chatter quiets)
2431
01:47:15,875 --> 01:47:17,041
(clears throat)
2432
01:47:19,125 --> 01:47:20,541
DESI:
The evening edition.
2433
01:47:25,375 --> 01:47:26,791
-It's all right.
-(sighs)
2434
01:47:26,875 --> 01:47:28,291
It's all right.
2435
01:47:29,583 --> 01:47:30,583
(exhales sharply)
2436
01:47:30,666 --> 01:47:32,500
It's in four-inch type.
2437
01:47:32,583 --> 01:47:34,583
I'm gonna fix this.
2438
01:47:34,666 --> 01:47:36,000
That's Hindenburg type.
2439
01:47:36,083 --> 01:47:38,041
I've already made the calls.
2440
01:47:38,125 --> 01:47:39,916
-And they used red ink.
-Yeah.
2441
01:47:40,000 --> 01:47:42,416
I didn't even know newspapers had red ink.
2442
01:47:42,500 --> 01:47:43,833
I guess they do.
2443
01:47:43,916 --> 01:47:46,208
I was cleared.
2444
01:47:46,291 --> 01:47:49,541
Somehow, the city editor,
a woman named Agness Underwood,
2445
01:47:49,625 --> 01:47:54,375
has a photostatic copy of the affidavit
showing you registered in 1936
2446
01:47:54,458 --> 01:47:56,750
as a voter intending to affiliate
with the Communist Party.
2447
01:47:56,833 --> 01:47:58,000
But I was cleared.
2448
01:47:58,083 --> 01:48:00,041
After the testimony,
they stamped “canceled” on the card,
2449
01:48:00,125 --> 01:48:01,166
and I saw the card.
2450
01:48:01,250 --> 01:48:02,791
Other papers are
showing the canceled card.
2451
01:48:02,875 --> 01:48:05,750
They're running a caption that says,
“Note the cancellation at left.”
2452
01:48:05,833 --> 01:48:10,125
But the Herald-Express took the word
“canceled” out of the document altogether.
2453
01:48:10,208 --> 01:48:11,583
Other papers?
2454
01:48:11,666 --> 01:48:14,666
Yes, yes, but I've-I've made calls
and we are taking care of this.
2455
01:48:14,750 --> 01:48:16,791
-We– Eh?
-Calls to who?
2456
01:48:16,875 --> 01:48:18,833
Every reporter within 20 minutes
of this soundstage.
2457
01:48:18,916 --> 01:48:20,000
That's why we're holding.
2458
01:48:20,083 --> 01:48:22,250
-You're saying reporters are coming here?
-Yeah.
2459
01:48:22,333 --> 01:48:24,416
We'll seat them in the back
of the bleachers.
2460
01:48:24,500 --> 01:48:26,541
You think we're still filming a show?
2461
01:48:26,625 --> 01:48:29,000
Why are none of you talking?
2462
01:48:29,083 --> 01:48:30,500
Desi has an idea.
2463
01:48:30,583 --> 01:48:34,833
I'm going to warm up the audience
the way I always do,
2464
01:48:34,916 --> 01:48:38,666
except instead of “Cuban Pete”
and the joke about the turtle,
2465
01:48:38,750 --> 01:48:40,875
I'm going to tell them what happened.
2466
01:48:40,958 --> 01:48:44,291
I'm going to explain
that you checked the wrong box,
2467
01:48:44,375 --> 01:48:47,291
I'm going to show them
the canceled document,
2468
01:48:47,375 --> 01:48:49,750
and then I'm going to bring you out
2469
01:48:49,833 --> 01:48:52,500
so the press sees them
give you a round of applause.
2470
01:48:52,583 --> 01:48:53,666
Yes.
2471
01:48:54,666 --> 01:48:55,875
Hmm?
2472
01:48:57,250 --> 01:48:59,208
Fellas, can we, um…
2473
01:48:59,291 --> 01:49:01,375
have the room for just a moment?
2474
01:49:14,625 --> 01:49:18,541
You're not telling these people
that I checked the wrong box.
2475
01:49:18,625 --> 01:49:20,625
This is a critical moment, Lucy.
2476
01:49:20,708 --> 01:49:22,625
-If I'm gonna die…
-You're not.
2477
01:49:22,708 --> 01:49:24,541
…I would rather die standing up.
2478
01:49:24,625 --> 01:49:25,916
(scoffs) I don't have any idea
what that is suppo…
2479
01:49:26,000 --> 01:49:27,791
I'm not an idiot.
I didn't check the wrong box.
2480
01:49:27,875 --> 01:49:28,875
You saw the headline.
2481
01:49:28,958 --> 01:49:31,833
-You can see the headline
from outer space. -Then please…
2482
01:49:31,916 --> 01:49:34,958
Grandpa Fred raised me
from when I was age four.
2483
01:49:35,041 --> 01:49:38,125
He cared about the little guy.
He cared about workers' rights.
2484
01:49:38,208 --> 01:49:41,000
It was a tribute to him,
and to say that I checked the wrong…
2485
01:49:41,083 --> 01:49:42,458
Grandpa Fred, Grandpa Fred.
2486
01:49:42,541 --> 01:49:45,458
Grandpa Fred was wrong, Lucy!
2487
01:49:45,541 --> 01:49:49,083
Yes, he didn't tell you the part
where they throw your father in prison
2488
01:49:49,166 --> 01:49:51,291
for the crime
of being the mayor of a city.
2489
01:49:51,375 --> 01:49:55,666
I was chased to this country, Lucy!
2490
01:49:55,750 --> 01:49:57,833
Believe me, you checked the wrong box!
2491
01:50:00,791 --> 01:50:02,333
And if they don't applaud?
2492
01:50:03,958 --> 01:50:06,666
They will.
And the press will write that they did.
2493
01:50:09,208 --> 01:50:11,541
You're gonna tell them I was accused of…
2494
01:50:11,625 --> 01:50:14,083
They're going to read it
in the morning anyway.
2495
01:50:14,166 --> 01:50:17,875
We have a sample population
of 200 people on our stage, so…
2496
01:50:17,958 --> 01:50:19,541
Miss Rosen!
2497
01:50:19,625 --> 01:50:21,625
If they boo me?
2498
01:50:23,000 --> 01:50:24,666
If they boo you…
2499
01:50:27,000 --> 01:50:28,958
…then we're done.
2500
01:50:29,041 --> 01:50:31,250
-Here, tonight.
-(door opens)
2501
01:50:38,750 --> 01:50:40,375
Call this man.
2502
01:50:41,833 --> 01:50:44,583
Tell them it's for me.
2503
01:50:44,666 --> 01:50:46,000
They'll find him.
2504
01:50:46,083 --> 01:50:48,250
He's expecting my call.
2505
01:50:48,333 --> 01:50:49,833
Tell me when you have him.
2506
01:50:49,916 --> 01:50:51,333
ROSEN:
Yes, sir.
2507
01:50:52,666 --> 01:50:54,041
(door closes)
2508
01:50:58,916 --> 01:51:00,916
(rumba music playing faintly)
2509
01:51:02,875 --> 01:51:04,875
(music continues inside)
2510
01:51:09,500 --> 01:51:11,916
Someone said they spotted you
going out here.
2511
01:51:13,083 --> 01:51:14,750
(sighs)
2512
01:51:17,666 --> 01:51:18,875
I was just told.
2513
01:51:18,958 --> 01:51:20,250
(sighs)
2514
01:51:20,333 --> 01:51:23,333
Jesus, Lulu. Four-inch type?
2515
01:51:23,416 --> 01:51:25,041
Red ink.
2516
01:51:27,916 --> 01:51:29,625
I shouldn't have piled on this week.
2517
01:51:29,708 --> 01:51:31,125
It just…
2518
01:51:32,250 --> 01:51:33,583
What?
2519
01:51:34,583 --> 01:51:36,791
None of that matters right now.
2520
01:51:39,416 --> 01:51:41,166
May be the last time we're out here.
2521
01:51:41,250 --> 01:51:43,041
Say it.
2522
01:51:43,125 --> 01:51:44,750
(sighs)
2523
01:51:47,291 --> 01:51:50,666
Lucy Ricardo is married to a man
six years younger than she is,
2524
01:51:50,750 --> 01:51:54,041
and Ethel is married to her grandfather,
and it's understood,
2525
01:51:54,125 --> 01:51:56,958
as the underlying premise
for a running joke,
2526
01:51:57,041 --> 01:51:59,333
that I'm not pretty enough for him.
2527
01:51:59,416 --> 01:52:00,625
(clicks tongue)
2528
01:52:02,166 --> 01:52:04,333
It got to me.
2529
01:52:04,416 --> 01:52:06,166
And at the world's worst time.
2530
01:52:13,583 --> 01:52:15,666
That was a knockout dress.
2531
01:52:16,750 --> 01:52:18,958
(chuckles)
2532
01:52:19,041 --> 01:52:21,416
Oh. You two want to be alone out here?
2533
01:52:21,500 --> 01:52:22,666
-No.
-Yes.
2534
01:52:22,750 --> 01:52:24,583
(Madelyn chuckles)
2535
01:52:28,208 --> 01:52:29,791
(Madelyn sighs)
2536
01:52:32,083 --> 01:52:33,708
You're my hero.
2537
01:52:35,666 --> 01:52:37,583
I care about what works, Maddie.
2538
01:52:37,666 --> 01:52:39,416
♪ ♪
2539
01:52:39,500 --> 01:52:42,125
I care about what's funny.
2540
01:52:42,208 --> 01:52:47,500
I don't see myself caring about a
woman's perspective from a new generation.
2541
01:52:47,583 --> 01:52:49,583
I care about you.
2542
01:52:52,875 --> 01:52:54,666
I'd love for someone
to bring me breakfast.
2543
01:52:54,750 --> 01:52:58,333
-That's not what we were talking about.
-(chuckles)
2544
01:52:58,416 --> 01:53:01,166
Doesn't a P.A.
bring you breakfast every day?
2545
01:53:01,250 --> 01:53:02,916
-Yes.
-Okay.
2546
01:53:03,000 --> 01:53:04,583
Never French toast.
2547
01:53:04,666 --> 01:53:06,958
-We'll look into that.
-I came out here
2548
01:53:07,041 --> 01:53:11,791
to try to distract you with nonsense,
but I assume these two beat me to it.
2549
01:53:11,875 --> 01:53:15,458
Viv doesn't like the jokes
about Ethel being unappealing.
2550
01:53:15,541 --> 01:53:18,625
Yeah, there's no one within the sound
of her voice who doesn't know that.
2551
01:53:18,708 --> 01:53:21,166
I said what I felt.
2552
01:53:21,250 --> 01:53:24,541
You've been saying what you felt
since the first day of work.
2553
01:53:24,625 --> 01:53:27,500
It's not like you've suddenly
given voice to your feelings.
2554
01:53:29,958 --> 01:53:31,166
You know what?
2555
01:53:33,500 --> 01:53:35,208
Sweet ladies?
2556
01:53:38,250 --> 01:53:40,583
Something dies inside a man…
2557
01:53:41,916 --> 01:53:44,958
…it just dies…
2558
01:53:46,083 --> 01:53:49,458
…the first time
he hears a girl call him old.
2559
01:53:53,083 --> 01:53:58,375
So on the subject of
Jess, Bob and Madelyn writing Ethel jokes,
2560
01:53:58,458 --> 01:54:00,166
I'm indifferent.
2561
01:54:00,250 --> 01:54:03,250
(groans) You two…
2562
01:54:06,083 --> 01:54:08,208
…are good actors.
2563
01:54:10,958 --> 01:54:12,958
It's a privilege doing this show with you.
2564
01:54:13,041 --> 01:54:14,958
Now you're scaring the shit out of me.
2565
01:54:15,041 --> 01:54:16,125
I was just gonna say.
2566
01:54:16,208 --> 01:54:18,083
LUCILLE:
Desi's gonna tell the audience.
2567
01:54:18,166 --> 01:54:19,375
He's invited press.
2568
01:54:19,458 --> 01:54:21,791
He's betting that the audience
will accept the truth,
2569
01:54:21,875 --> 01:54:24,291
give their approval,
and the press will write about it.
2570
01:54:30,916 --> 01:54:32,541
I'd take the other side of that bet.
2571
01:54:32,625 --> 01:54:33,625
-(door opens)
-P.A.: Excuse me.
2572
01:54:33,708 --> 01:54:35,666
Sorry.
Mr. Arnaz is ready to do the warm-up.
2573
01:54:35,750 --> 01:54:38,250
Uh, they told me you wanted to know.
2574
01:54:38,333 --> 01:54:39,750
LUCILLE:
Thank you.
2575
01:54:43,291 --> 01:54:45,166
All right. (clears throat)
2576
01:54:47,625 --> 01:54:49,541
See you out there.
2577
01:54:53,166 --> 01:54:55,333
-Good show.
-Good show.
2578
01:54:55,416 --> 01:54:56,666
WILLIAM:
Good show.
2579
01:55:00,125 --> 01:55:01,458
Luce.
2580
01:55:03,333 --> 01:55:07,125
The dinner scene is inarguably better.
2581
01:55:10,083 --> 01:55:12,083
(band playing lively music)
2582
01:55:13,333 --> 01:55:15,333
(music continues)
2583
01:55:18,541 --> 01:55:20,458
(indistinct chatter)
2584
01:55:29,458 --> 01:55:31,083
(music ends)
2585
01:55:31,166 --> 01:55:33,875
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
give a warm welcome
2586
01:55:33,958 --> 01:55:36,583
to one of the stars of I Love Lucy.
2587
01:55:36,666 --> 01:55:38,875
-You know him as Ricky Ricardo.
-(women gasping)
2588
01:55:38,958 --> 01:55:41,083
Here's Desi Arnaz!
2589
01:55:41,166 --> 01:55:43,083
-(applause)
-(band plays bright riff)
2590
01:55:43,166 --> 01:55:44,500
Thank you.
2591
01:55:44,583 --> 01:55:45,875
Oh, thank you.
2592
01:55:45,958 --> 01:55:48,416
(people shouting “Desi!")
2593
01:55:48,500 --> 01:55:51,416
Thank you. Thank you.
2594
01:55:51,500 --> 01:55:54,000
Thank you very much. (sighs)
2595
01:55:54,083 --> 01:55:56,833
Usually, right now, I'd be doing
the final audience warm-up.
2596
01:55:56,916 --> 01:55:58,333
I'd tell you an old joke about a turtle.
2597
01:55:58,416 --> 01:56:00,166
-(laughter)
-And I'd point out
2598
01:56:00,250 --> 01:56:03,250
our groundbreaking camera system
that allows the studio audience
2599
01:56:03,333 --> 01:56:08,375
to watch the show unobstructed
and introduce you to the rest of the cast.
2600
01:56:08,458 --> 01:56:11,958
I'm not doing that tonight,
and here's why.
2601
01:56:12,041 --> 01:56:16,416
Last week, my wife, Lucille Ball,
2602
01:56:16,500 --> 01:56:19,541
was asked to testify
in front of a closed session
2603
01:56:19,625 --> 01:56:23,000
of the House
Un-American Activities Committee.
2604
01:56:23,083 --> 01:56:24,583
(audience murmuring)
2605
01:56:24,666 --> 01:56:28,000
Yes, the congressmen
who investigate Communism.
2606
01:56:29,083 --> 01:56:33,916
After hours of testimony,
the committee concluded unambiguously
2607
01:56:34,000 --> 01:56:38,500
that Lucy was and is in no way
involved with the Communist Party.
2608
01:56:38,583 --> 01:56:40,875
So everything's swell, right?
2609
01:56:40,958 --> 01:56:42,791
No.
2610
01:56:42,875 --> 01:56:46,958
Because this is the evening edition
headline in the Herald-Express.
2611
01:56:48,958 --> 01:56:50,708
(audience gasping, murmuring)
2612
01:56:54,958 --> 01:56:57,458
♪ ♪
2613
01:57:02,458 --> 01:57:03,833
So… (clears throat)
2614
01:57:03,916 --> 01:57:05,583
I made some phone calls.
2615
01:57:05,666 --> 01:57:07,750
I called the editor of the Herald-Express.
2616
01:57:07,833 --> 01:57:10,291
I called the chairman of the committee.
2617
01:57:10,375 --> 01:57:13,250
I called all the members of the committee.
2618
01:57:13,333 --> 01:57:16,500
And I made one more call to someone,
and I believe he's still on the line.
2619
01:57:16,583 --> 01:57:17,583
Thank you.
2620
01:57:18,958 --> 01:57:20,541
Are you still with me, sir?
2621
01:57:20,625 --> 01:57:22,583
MAN (on phone, amplified):
Yes.
2622
01:57:22,666 --> 01:57:26,000
I'm now standing in front of a
studio audience in Hollywood, California,
2623
01:57:26,083 --> 01:57:28,916
and we are joined by
a number of members of the press.
2624
01:57:29,000 --> 01:57:30,041
MAN:
That's fine.
2625
01:57:32,166 --> 01:57:36,666
We want to know, sir, does the FBI
have any case against Lucy?
2626
01:57:36,750 --> 01:57:41,291
Does the FBI have any evidence
of wrongdoing?
2627
01:57:41,375 --> 01:57:47,500
Does the FBI have any reason to believe
that Lucille Ball is a Communist?
2628
01:57:47,583 --> 01:57:49,541
No. Absolutely nothing.
2629
01:57:49,625 --> 01:57:52,458
-She's 100% clear.
-(audience murmuring)
2630
01:57:52,541 --> 01:57:53,958
Thank you, sir. One more question.
2631
01:57:54,041 --> 01:57:55,625
Will you tell us your name please?
2632
01:57:55,708 --> 01:57:57,583
This is J. Edgar Hoover.
2633
01:57:57,666 --> 01:57:59,041
-(audience gasping)
-DESI: Thank you, sir.
2634
01:57:59,125 --> 01:58:00,458
Enjoy your evening.
2635
01:58:00,541 --> 01:58:02,541
(applause)
2636
01:58:07,583 --> 01:58:11,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome my wife
2637
01:58:11,083 --> 01:58:13,583
and the star of I Love Lucy, Lucille Ball!
2638
01:58:13,666 --> 01:58:15,666
(audience cheering)
2639
01:58:15,750 --> 01:58:17,791
♪ ♪
2640
01:58:34,541 --> 01:58:36,916
(cheering continues)
2641
01:58:47,833 --> 01:58:49,833
So enjoy the show!
2642
01:58:51,250 --> 01:58:53,041
-(band playing I Love Lucy theme)
-(applause)
2643
01:59:02,541 --> 01:59:04,958
-(sighing)
-(music, applause continue in distance)
2644
01:59:05,041 --> 01:59:06,666
(footsteps approaching)
2645
01:59:07,875 --> 01:59:09,208
It's all over!
2646
01:59:09,291 --> 01:59:10,333
Thank you.
2647
01:59:10,416 --> 01:59:12,166
-It's over now.
-Thank you.
2648
01:59:12,250 --> 01:59:13,333
They love you.
2649
01:59:13,416 --> 01:59:15,583
I love you.
2650
01:59:15,666 --> 01:59:18,583
No one's gonna mess with you ever, Lucy.
2651
01:59:18,666 --> 01:59:20,583
I thought they were gonna boo.
2652
01:59:20,666 --> 01:59:22,541
(laughs) You want to do a show?
2653
01:59:22,625 --> 01:59:24,125
Have you been cheating on me?
2654
01:59:25,208 --> 01:59:27,583
-What?
-Have you been cheating on me?
2655
01:59:27,666 --> 01:59:29,500
-(laughs) Is this a bit?
-No.
2656
01:59:30,583 --> 01:59:31,666
No, I haven't been.
2657
01:59:31,750 --> 01:59:34,208
When you stay out all night,
you're on the boat playing cards?
2658
01:59:34,291 --> 01:59:36,083
-Yes.
-You haven't been with anybody else?
2659
01:59:36,166 --> 01:59:38,666
-What's going on with you, honey?
-Don't gaslight me.
2660
01:59:38,750 --> 01:59:39,875
Where did this come from?
2661
01:59:39,958 --> 01:59:41,958
I mean, they just cheered
for you out there.
2662
01:59:42,041 --> 01:59:43,458
They got it right, didn't they?
2663
01:59:43,541 --> 01:59:46,625
-Lucy…
-They only got the picture wrong.
2664
01:59:46,708 --> 01:59:48,666
-Luc…
-Did they get it right?
2665
01:59:48,750 --> 01:59:50,583
-Lucy…
-Did they get it exactly right?
2666
01:59:50,666 --> 01:59:55,041
Jesus Christ, I just proved out there
that the Herald-Express got it wrong.
2667
01:59:55,125 --> 01:59:57,541
You think Confidential magazine–
2668
01:59:57,625 --> 01:59:59,916
Conf– We're about to do a show.
2669
02:00:00,000 --> 02:00:01,458
-(whispers): Just tell me.
-Tell me why you think–
2670
02:00:01,541 --> 02:00:04,541
other than that garbage–
2671
02:00:04,625 --> 02:00:07,125
tell me why you think I've cheated on you.
2672
02:00:10,541 --> 02:00:13,208
That is your lipstick.
2673
02:00:13,291 --> 02:00:16,125
Remember? You kissed me
at the beginning of the week,
2674
02:00:16,208 --> 02:00:18,458
and then took my handkerchief
and wiped the lipstick off
2675
02:00:18,541 --> 02:00:19,833
and put it back in my pocket.
2676
02:00:19,916 --> 02:00:21,291
And you said you'd never done that before.
2677
02:00:21,375 --> 02:00:22,458
I hadn't.
2678
02:00:22,541 --> 02:00:24,208
Then what the hell are we talking about?
2679
02:00:25,875 --> 02:00:28,166
This is my lipstick.
2680
02:00:28,250 --> 02:00:29,416
(chuckles softly)
2681
02:00:29,500 --> 02:00:31,500
♪ ♪
2682
02:00:43,166 --> 02:00:45,583
They were just call girls.
2683
02:00:45,666 --> 02:00:47,041
Hmm.
2684
02:00:49,583 --> 02:00:50,875
They're hookers.
2685
02:00:50,958 --> 02:00:52,375
(exhales heavily)
2686
02:00:57,916 --> 02:01:00,000
It doesn't mean anything, Lucy.
2687
02:01:01,000 --> 02:01:03,208
-Look, Lucy, it doesn't mean…
-Mm.
2688
02:01:03,291 --> 02:01:04,750
Let's do the show. Yeah?
2689
02:01:04,833 --> 02:01:06,500
Let's just forget about this
for a half hour.
2690
02:01:06,583 --> 02:01:07,875
Yeah? Let's do the show.
2691
02:01:07,958 --> 02:01:10,500
Jim, let's go!
2692
02:01:10,583 --> 02:01:13,166
-It's not gonna get better than this.
-Copy that.
2693
02:01:13,250 --> 02:01:15,458
-All right, everybody!
-Let's do a show!
2694
02:01:15,541 --> 02:01:17,416
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
This is places for scene “A”!
2695
02:01:17,500 --> 02:01:19,166
-MAN 1: Scene “A”!
-MAN 2: Scene “A,” places!
2696
02:01:19,250 --> 02:01:21,291
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Okay, positions, everyone.
2697
02:01:21,375 --> 02:01:22,875
-Cameras up.
-Cameras up.
2698
02:01:22,958 --> 02:01:24,291
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Quiet on set. Bell!
2699
02:01:24,375 --> 02:01:25,375
(soundstage bell rings)
2700
02:01:25,458 --> 02:01:26,791
-Quiet please!
-Quiet please!
2701
02:01:26,875 --> 02:01:28,208
Picture's up!
2702
02:01:28,291 --> 02:01:30,083
-Picture's up.
-Quiet, everyone!
2703
02:01:30,166 --> 02:01:32,166
-Let's roll sound.
-Rolling! -Rolling!
2704
02:01:32,250 --> 02:01:33,541
-Sound speed.
-And mark.
2705
02:01:33,625 --> 02:01:35,541
-Speed mark.
-Dolly.
2706
02:01:35,625 --> 02:01:37,791
Settle. And action.
2707
02:01:38,875 --> 02:01:40,958
OLDER MADELYN:
It ended up being a good show that night.
2708
02:01:41,041 --> 02:01:43,958
We did both versions of the opening,
2709
02:01:44,041 --> 02:01:46,250
but it was the original version
that made it on the air,
2710
02:01:46,333 --> 02:01:47,541
the one with all the names.
2711
02:01:47,625 --> 02:01:51,000
You must've gotten a copy
of the “B” negative,
2712
02:01:51,083 --> 02:01:52,583
'cause your original question was…
2713
02:01:52,666 --> 02:01:55,500
For the record, I won my bet with Desi.
2714
02:01:55,583 --> 02:01:57,958
CBS wouldn't let us use
the word “pregnant.”
2715
02:01:59,541 --> 02:02:01,375
But more people watched
the birth of Little Ricky
2716
02:02:01,458 --> 02:02:04,666
than had ever watched
a television program before.
2717
02:02:05,833 --> 02:02:07,083
Your original question?
2718
02:02:07,166 --> 02:02:10,458
You asked about why Lucy stopped
when we were doing the alt.
2719
02:02:10,541 --> 02:02:11,708
The alternate version.
2720
02:02:11,791 --> 02:02:14,833
We were doing Lucy's version
of Ricky's entrance first.
2721
02:02:14,916 --> 02:02:16,541
She was doing the bit with the flowers,
2722
02:02:16,625 --> 02:02:19,208
which we couldn't use
'cause we were running long.
2723
02:02:21,500 --> 02:02:24,250
(audience laughter)
2724
02:02:27,791 --> 02:02:31,833
She takes a pitcher
and pours water into the vase…
2725
02:02:31,916 --> 02:02:34,625
Which makes all the flowers
come up to the surface.
2726
02:02:37,916 --> 02:02:40,083
(audience laughter)
2727
02:02:44,083 --> 02:02:47,500
It seemed like she just got lost
in her own head for a second.
2728
02:02:47,583 --> 02:02:49,333
I can't remember what her cue was.
2729
02:02:49,416 --> 02:02:52,041
It may have been the only time
she ever went up on a line.
2730
02:02:52,125 --> 02:02:55,083
I can't remember the first line, but we…
2731
02:02:55,166 --> 02:02:56,583
we had to stop and go again.
2732
02:02:56,666 --> 02:02:58,666
It was Desi's line.
2733
02:02:58,750 --> 02:03:00,500
It was the new bit Lucy put in.
2734
02:03:01,708 --> 02:03:03,166
(chuckles):
What was his line?
2735
02:03:03,250 --> 02:03:06,750
Lucy, I'm home!
2736
02:03:06,833 --> 02:03:08,833
(audience laughter)
2737
02:03:11,791 --> 02:03:13,791
♪ ♪
2738
02:03:31,458 --> 02:03:32,666
(chuckles softly)
2739
02:03:35,458 --> 02:03:36,666
Sorry.
2740
02:03:36,750 --> 02:03:38,416
-I got lost for a second.
-(audience chuckles)
2741
02:03:38,500 --> 02:03:39,916
DONALD:
All right, let's cut and go again.
2742
02:03:40,000 --> 02:03:44,291
We never went back to do
another take of the alternate opening.
2743
02:03:44,375 --> 02:03:46,541
Lucy just wanted to move on.
2744
02:03:46,625 --> 02:03:48,625
♪ ♪
2745
02:03:55,583 --> 02:03:57,583
(audience laughter)
2746
02:04:00,583 --> 02:04:02,708
-Oh!
-Guess who it is.
2747
02:04:02,791 --> 02:04:05,500
Bill? Sam?
2748
02:04:05,583 --> 02:04:07,416
-Pat?
-No.
2749
02:04:07,500 --> 02:04:11,083
-(audience laughter)
-Pedro? Pablo?
2750
02:04:11,166 --> 02:04:12,333
Jose?
2751
02:04:12,416 --> 02:04:13,708
No, it's me.
2752
02:04:13,791 --> 02:04:16,291
-Ah, yes, of course.
-(laughter continues)
2753
02:04:16,375 --> 02:04:19,166
-Uh…
-Very, very funny.
2754
02:04:19,250 --> 02:04:21,666
-♪ ♪
-Hey, company for dinner?
2755
02:04:21,750 --> 02:04:22,750
Who is it?
2756
02:04:22,833 --> 02:04:24,833
How do you like
the new water glasses, Ricky?
2757
02:04:24,916 --> 02:04:26,458
Who's coming for dinner, Lucy?
2758
02:04:26,541 --> 02:04:29,166
Doesn't the table look beautiful tonight?
2759
02:04:29,250 --> 02:04:32,208
-Lucy, who is it?
-Some people.
2760
02:04:32,291 --> 02:04:34,291
♪ ♪
2761
02:04:51,000 --> 02:04:53,000
♪ ♪
2762
02:05:23,000 --> 02:05:25,000
♪ ♪
2763
02:05:55,000 --> 02:05:57,000
♪ ♪
2764
02:06:27,000 --> 02:06:29,000
♪ ♪
2765
02:06:53,916 --> 02:06:55,916
(music fades)
2766
02:06:56,000 --> 02:06:58,000
(“Cuban Pete” playing)
2767
02:07:01,958 --> 02:07:04,041
♪ They call me Cuban Pete ♪
2768
02:07:04,125 --> 02:07:06,333
♪ I'm the king of the rumba beat ♪
2769
02:07:06,416 --> 02:07:08,166
♪ When I play the maracas, I go ♪
2770
02:07:08,250 --> 02:07:11,083
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
2771
02:07:11,166 --> 02:07:13,250
♪ Yes, sir, I'm Cuban Pete ♪
2772
02:07:13,333 --> 02:07:15,500
♪ I'm the craze of my native street ♪
2773
02:07:15,583 --> 02:07:17,333
♪ When I start to dance, everything goes ♪
2774
02:07:17,416 --> 02:07:20,166
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
2775
02:07:20,250 --> 02:07:24,875
♪ The señoritas, they sing
and how they swing with this rumbero ♪
2776
02:07:24,958 --> 02:07:26,916
♪ It's very nice ♪
2777
02:07:27,000 --> 02:07:29,375
♪ So full of spice ♪
2778
02:07:29,458 --> 02:07:30,833
♪ And when they're dancing ♪
2779
02:07:30,916 --> 02:07:33,916
♪ They bring a happy ring, the maraquero ♪
2780
02:07:34,000 --> 02:07:36,333
♪ Singing a song ♪
2781
02:07:36,416 --> 02:07:38,500
♪ All the day long ♪
2782
02:07:38,583 --> 02:07:40,708
♪ So if you like the beat ♪
2783
02:07:40,791 --> 02:07:42,916
♪ Take a lesson from Cuban Pete ♪
2784
02:07:43,000 --> 02:07:44,833
♪ And I'll teach you
to chick chicky boom ♪
2785
02:07:44,916 --> 02:07:47,541
♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom ♪
2786
02:07:47,625 --> 02:07:48,833
♪ Sí, señorita ♪
2787
02:07:48,916 --> 02:07:52,250
♪ I know that you would
like to chicky boom chick ♪
2788
02:07:52,333 --> 02:07:54,458
♪ Because it's the dance ♪
2789
02:07:54,541 --> 02:07:56,666
♪ Of Latin romance ♪
2790
02:07:56,750 --> 02:08:01,375
♪ And Cuban Pete doesn't teach you
in a hurry like Arthur Murray ♪
2791
02:08:01,458 --> 02:08:03,416
♪ I come from Havana ♪
2792
02:08:03,500 --> 02:08:06,041
♪ And there's always mañana ♪
2793
02:08:06,125 --> 02:08:08,166
♪ So, señorita, please ♪
2794
02:08:08,250 --> 02:08:10,416
♪ Take it easy, do it with ease ♪
2795
02:08:10,500 --> 02:08:12,166
♪ And you'll love it
when you do the chick ♪
2796
02:08:12,250 --> 02:08:16,500
-♪ Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom. ♪
-(song ends)
2797
02:08:17,541 --> 02:08:19,541
♪ ♪
2798
02:08:49,000 --> 02:08:51,000
♪ ♪
2799
02:09:21,000 --> 02:09:23,000
♪ ♪
2800
02:09:53,000 --> 02:09:55,000
♪ ♪
2801
02:10:25,000 --> 02:10:27,000
♪ ♪
2802
02:10:57,000 --> 02:10:59,000
♪ ♪
2803
02:11:07,000 --> 02:11:09,000
(music fades)
202349
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