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1
00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:20,501
-What are you doing?
-Well, I didn't want to disturb you.
2
00:00:20,581 --> 00:00:23,261
-What do you mean?
-I was gonna come in and eat at the table,
3
00:00:23,341 --> 00:00:25,741
but I didn't know if you was busy
so I'm having it here.
4
00:00:26,421 --> 00:00:28,901
But those aren't the only two options,
are they,
5
00:00:29,021 --> 00:00:31,461
eat in my house
or just outside my house?
6
00:00:31,541 --> 00:00:34,821
-There's the rest of the fucking world.
-All right, don't get the hump!
7
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:36,781
So, did you talk to that bird about me?
8
00:00:36,861 --> 00:00:37,701
Yeah.
9
00:00:38,341 --> 00:00:39,341
She'll meet up...
10
00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:41,221
for a meal, or whatever.
11
00:00:41,301 --> 00:00:42,421
-[Pat] Really?
-Yeah.
12
00:00:43,141 --> 00:00:45,701
-And you was honest about me?
-[Tony] Pretty much.
13
00:00:46,101 --> 00:00:48,821
What, and she still wants to meet me?
What's the catch?
14
00:00:48,901 --> 00:00:53,381
Well, she wanted me to be honest
about her to you as well.
15
00:00:53,861 --> 00:00:55,021
She's a sex worker.
16
00:00:55,461 --> 00:00:56,821
-A prossie?
-Yeah.
17
00:00:58,021 --> 00:00:58,861
Result!
18
00:00:59,501 --> 00:01:01,021
-[slurps]
-You're not bothered?
19
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,021
She ain't got AIDS, has she?
20
00:01:04,261 --> 00:01:05,741
Would that be a deal-breaker?
21
00:01:06,301 --> 00:01:07,181
No.
22
00:01:07,661 --> 00:01:09,021
No, she hasn't got AIDS.
23
00:01:10,061 --> 00:01:14,261
-And she's lovely, and smart, and funny.
-She'll earn a few quid for that an' all.
24
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,421
Just split the bill.
25
00:01:17,341 --> 00:01:19,381
-Lovely jubbly.
-[Tony] Right, OK...
26
00:01:19,741 --> 00:01:21,381
-[slurping]
-Off we go.
27
00:01:21,461 --> 00:01:22,341
Why?
28
00:01:23,421 --> 00:01:26,061
'Cause it's weird,
a postman having a picnic in your garden.
29
00:01:26,141 --> 00:01:27,301
What's weird about it?
30
00:01:28,301 --> 00:01:29,421
Get out.
31
00:01:29,501 --> 00:01:31,141
Where's all this coming from?
32
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,221
[gentle music plays]
33
00:01:33,981 --> 00:01:35,781
Out! Fuckin' hell.
34
00:01:39,741 --> 00:01:41,741
[kids laughing and squealing]
35
00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:51,381
You all right, George?
36
00:01:51,461 --> 00:01:52,661
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
37
00:01:54,701 --> 00:01:56,541
Are Mum and Dad getting a divorce?
38
00:01:58,461 --> 00:01:59,461
I don't know.
39
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,061
I want them to still be my mum and dad.
40
00:02:02,141 --> 00:02:04,701
Whatever happens,
even if they're not always together,
41
00:02:04,781 --> 00:02:06,901
they'll still be your mum and dad,
and love you, and...
42
00:02:06,981 --> 00:02:08,381
be an even better mum and dad,
43
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,021
you can play them off against each other,
get anything you want.
44
00:02:11,101 --> 00:02:12,781
-What toy do you want?
-Dunno.
45
00:02:12,861 --> 00:02:16,661
Well, think big. I reckon
you'll be able to get a quad bike.
46
00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:20,021
Maybe even a crossbow,
if you play your cards right. [chuckles]
47
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,701
You'll be living the dream.
48
00:02:21,781 --> 00:02:24,221
You'll be like, "Mum, Dad,
I'm off down the pub. Don't wait up."
49
00:02:24,301 --> 00:02:25,421
[both giggle]
50
00:02:26,461 --> 00:02:27,461
It'll be fine.
51
00:02:31,581 --> 00:02:33,301
-[boy] Hi, George.
-[George] Hi.
52
00:02:36,461 --> 00:02:37,981
-Morning.
-Oh, happy birthday!
53
00:02:38,421 --> 00:02:40,581
-How did you know?
-It's on your records.
54
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,861
-Oh, yeah.
-[Valerie] Any plans?
55
00:02:42,941 --> 00:02:44,781
Just a meal at home with my family.
56
00:02:44,861 --> 00:02:47,301
-Who will cook, your mum or your dad?
-Me.
57
00:02:48,421 --> 00:02:49,781
Well, happy birthday.
58
00:02:50,181 --> 00:02:51,181
Thank you.
59
00:02:55,461 --> 00:02:56,501
Happy birthday!
60
00:02:56,901 --> 00:02:57,901
Thank you.
61
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,101
-Cup of tea, then?
-Yes, please.
62
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,301
No, you make it.
63
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,421
Why?
64
00:03:02,861 --> 00:03:05,541
You're the work experience.
You have to start at the bottom.
65
00:03:05,621 --> 00:03:07,461
It's Sandy's birthday,
make her a cup of tea.
66
00:03:07,541 --> 00:03:08,541
It's your birthday?
67
00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:09,461
Er, yeah.
68
00:03:09,541 --> 00:03:10,821
-[Tony] Happy birthday.
-Thanks.
69
00:03:11,221 --> 00:03:13,181
Is there going to be cake?
70
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,421
Just make the tea!
71
00:03:14,501 --> 00:03:15,621
God!
72
00:03:17,341 --> 00:03:19,621
-Is there gonna be any cake, though?
-[snorts]
73
00:03:20,381 --> 00:03:21,741
So, you're a Virgo?
74
00:03:22,381 --> 00:03:23,701
-Yeah.
-[Kath] Yeah.
75
00:03:23,781 --> 00:03:25,461
Do your horoscope for you if you like?
76
00:03:25,541 --> 00:03:26,821
Nah, 'cause it's pointless.
77
00:03:26,901 --> 00:03:30,301
-It's not pointless, actually.
-How can people born around the same time,
78
00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:33,941
from all over the world,
share similar traits just because of that?
79
00:03:34,021 --> 00:03:35,501
-It's rubbish.
-It's true!
80
00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:38,021
Virgos are smart, modest,
81
00:03:38,101 --> 00:03:40,341
capable, dedicated.
82
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,021
See? Fits, don't it?
83
00:03:42,101 --> 00:03:44,261
Yeah, everyone likes to think
they're those things!
84
00:03:44,341 --> 00:03:47,661
That's why they make it flattering,
so you believe it. If it said,
85
00:03:47,741 --> 00:03:52,061
"Oh, you're boring, ugly, thick,
and shit at everything,"
86
00:03:52,141 --> 00:03:53,421
you wouldn't go back, would ya?
87
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:56,501
Also, they make it vague
so you can make it fit.
88
00:03:56,581 --> 00:04:00,341
I want to see one in the paper that says,
"Happy birthday, Rita Wainthrope
89
00:04:00,421 --> 00:04:02,341
of 7 Acacia Drive, Wigan.
90
00:04:02,421 --> 00:04:04,501
You're going to get fired
from your job today
91
00:04:04,581 --> 00:04:06,901
'cause everyone hates you
and the boss thinks you're a slut."
92
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:08,061
Then I'd believe it.
93
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:10,741
-Always have to get silly, don't you?
-[sniggers]
94
00:04:15,061 --> 00:04:16,021
You all right?
95
00:04:18,061 --> 00:04:19,061
[glumly] Yeah.
96
00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:21,381
I'm just... feeling a bit...
97
00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:24,981
I dunno... 30.
98
00:04:29,021 --> 00:04:31,381
Yeah, I hated 30.
99
00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:33,701
Quite liked 40.
100
00:04:34,261 --> 00:04:35,301
Fifty was all right.
101
00:04:36,621 --> 00:04:39,141
It's not your age, is it?
It's what's happening...
102
00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:40,781
in your life.
103
00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:43,141
Not a lot.
104
00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:48,621
Do you want to go for a coffee?
105
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,261
-Yeah.
-Come on, then.
106
00:04:54,901 --> 00:04:57,461
Do you know what my parents got me
for my birthday?
107
00:04:58,181 --> 00:05:00,021
A set of saucepans and a super mop.
108
00:05:00,101 --> 00:05:01,061
[chuckles]
109
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,461
What's super about it?
110
00:05:02,541 --> 00:05:04,781
It's got an ultra-absorbent sponge head.
111
00:05:05,141 --> 00:05:07,621
-It cleans, dries, and absorbs in one go.
-Sure.
112
00:05:08,021 --> 00:05:08,981
Do you know how?
113
00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:11,101
-Wring-Max technology.
-[laughs]
114
00:05:11,181 --> 00:05:12,821
For maximum wringing. [chuckles]
115
00:05:12,901 --> 00:05:13,981
Good.
116
00:05:16,581 --> 00:05:17,981
I feel bad whinging to you.
117
00:05:18,461 --> 00:05:20,341
My problems probably seem so trivial.
118
00:05:20,661 --> 00:05:21,901
No, not at all.
119
00:05:23,461 --> 00:05:24,341
Also...
120
00:05:25,621 --> 00:05:28,101
I've been wanting to apologize
for something I said once too.
121
00:05:28,821 --> 00:05:29,661
What?
122
00:05:30,221 --> 00:05:31,781
When I asked you to be happy.
123
00:05:32,581 --> 00:05:34,501
I realized it's a stupid thing to say.
124
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,501
No, it's...
125
00:05:37,021 --> 00:05:38,341
You wanted me to be happy.
126
00:05:39,061 --> 00:05:40,061
I get it.
127
00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:42,661
People think that...
128
00:05:43,061 --> 00:05:45,461
all those things I miss doing with Lisa,
129
00:05:45,781 --> 00:05:48,501
I could just do them anyway,
and it'll make me feel better.
130
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,861
But, um... they're missing the point.
131
00:05:51,341 --> 00:05:53,141
I don't miss doing things with Lisa,
132
00:05:53,221 --> 00:05:55,661
I miss doing nothing... with Lisa.
133
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,701
Do you know what I mean?
Just... sitting at home,
134
00:05:58,781 --> 00:06:01,501
wouldn't even have to go out,
or do anything, or even talk,
135
00:06:01,581 --> 00:06:02,621
you know, just...
136
00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:04,701
sitting there, knowing she was there.
137
00:06:07,621 --> 00:06:09,501
Sometimes, I'd just look over at her.
138
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,821
-This has turned out well again.
-[strained chuckle]
139
00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:17,101
-[Sandy sighs]
-Ah...
140
00:06:18,101 --> 00:06:22,061
So, does it do lino, and tiles, and wood?
141
00:06:22,141 --> 00:06:23,221
It does everything.
142
00:06:23,301 --> 00:06:24,501
-Brilliant!
-Yeah.
143
00:06:28,141 --> 00:06:29,621
-[laughter]
-[Simon] What do you drive?
144
00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:31,421
It's a little Mini...
145
00:06:31,501 --> 00:06:33,541
But I don't drive it now,
I'm trying to minimize--
146
00:06:33,621 --> 00:06:34,541
-Hiya.
-Hi.
147
00:06:34,621 --> 00:06:36,501
Hiya, just... Simon, isn't it?
148
00:06:36,581 --> 00:06:38,301
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Tony.
149
00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:39,981
You're here a lot.
150
00:06:40,421 --> 00:06:41,901
-Yeah, my mum's in here.
-Oh, right.
151
00:06:41,981 --> 00:06:45,461
Yeah, it breaks my heart.
They all break my heart, I love 'em all.
152
00:06:45,541 --> 00:06:47,261
I wish I could take them all home.
153
00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:49,461
-[Simon chuckles]
-Aw... That's sweet.
154
00:06:50,861 --> 00:06:53,581
Maybe start with your mum first,
take her home, and...
155
00:06:54,141 --> 00:06:57,461
Yeah, I can't,
not with my circumstances at the moment.
156
00:06:57,541 --> 00:06:59,461
-[Tony] Oh.
-[Simon] I do what I can.
157
00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:00,941
Maybe everyone's in the same boat.
158
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,421
-Yeah, sure.
-[Tony] Yeah.
159
00:07:03,861 --> 00:07:04,901
Nice to meet ya.
160
00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:06,701
-Yeah.
-Okay.
161
00:07:06,781 --> 00:07:07,861
See you later, babe.
162
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:11,421
[Tony] Fuckin' hell!
163
00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:12,981
What?
164
00:07:13,941 --> 00:07:14,781
Him.
165
00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:16,901
What about him?
166
00:07:17,661 --> 00:07:21,101
He's doing his...
"sensitive man" thing, isn't he?
167
00:07:21,181 --> 00:07:24,941
He's trying to be all kind and lovely
to you, to impress you.
168
00:07:25,021 --> 00:07:26,621
I don't know. Call me old-fashioned,
169
00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:28,781
but it kinda works,
being kind and lovely.
170
00:07:29,781 --> 00:07:31,421
-It's fake!
-[scoffs]
171
00:07:32,301 --> 00:07:35,501
He probably works in a bank
and has people's houses repossessed.
172
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:37,061
-[chuckles]
-He's doing his...
173
00:07:37,701 --> 00:07:41,141
[mockingly] "Oh, you know, I'm so caring
in a cruel world, in't I?"
174
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:44,061
-His... "Oh, isn't famine awful?"
-[sniggers]
175
00:07:44,501 --> 00:07:46,541
"I'd like to take them all
to McDonald's, babe."
176
00:07:46,621 --> 00:07:48,381
-[giggles]
-[Tony sniggers]
177
00:07:48,461 --> 00:07:49,461
Stop it!
178
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:51,141
Oh...
179
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:55,381
Well... I don't feel the same about him
the way I do about you.
180
00:07:55,461 --> 00:07:56,301
Good.
181
00:07:56,381 --> 00:08:00,061
But, well...
you're not an option, are you?
182
00:08:01,221 --> 00:08:03,581
I think you're brilliant, Tony, and...
183
00:08:04,181 --> 00:08:06,981
But at least he doesn't go on
about another woman the way you do.
184
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:11,061
And I know... I understand, Tony,
I get why you do, and it's...
185
00:08:11,901 --> 00:08:13,541
it's lovely, it really is.
186
00:08:14,301 --> 00:08:16,261
But I don't want to be the other woman.
187
00:08:19,101 --> 00:08:21,061
Oh, did I blow it? Sorry, I...
188
00:08:21,141 --> 00:08:23,941
It's fine, really.
There's no need to be sorry. It's...
189
00:08:25,301 --> 00:08:27,941
I like this, though. I love this.
190
00:08:29,181 --> 00:08:30,181
Whatever this is.
191
00:08:30,861 --> 00:08:34,101
Just being with you... all the time,
192
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,181
the same...
193
00:08:35,821 --> 00:08:37,021
forever...
194
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:38,821
like Groundhog Day. [chuckles]
195
00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:39,941
[chuckles sadly]
196
00:08:41,061 --> 00:08:42,061
Yeah, well...
197
00:08:42,501 --> 00:08:43,901
I get all that, but...
198
00:08:45,061 --> 00:08:46,661
not everyone's the same, Tony.
199
00:08:47,781 --> 00:08:48,621
Right.
200
00:08:50,541 --> 00:08:52,021
[wistful music plays]
201
00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:55,261
[nurse chuckles wryly]
202
00:09:01,901 --> 00:09:03,581
I don't know whether to psychoanalyze you
203
00:09:03,661 --> 00:09:06,021
or take you down the vet
and get you fucking put down.
204
00:09:09,861 --> 00:09:11,501
You gotta get out there, mate.
205
00:09:11,581 --> 00:09:12,621
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
206
00:09:13,341 --> 00:09:14,381
Dunk the monk.
207
00:09:15,661 --> 00:09:17,981
Bang some beaver.
Shoot some Schpritz.
208
00:09:19,021 --> 00:09:20,261
What's that?
209
00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:21,701
It's Yiddish for spunk.
210
00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:24,381
Oh, right.
211
00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:27,381
Listen, the offer's still open if you want
to come out with me and the boys.
212
00:09:28,621 --> 00:09:30,861
We're actually getting messy tonight,
as it goes.
213
00:09:31,261 --> 00:09:33,541
Local pub crawl and a minge hunt.
214
00:09:36,141 --> 00:09:38,541
Um... That's a very kind offer,
215
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,701
but I can't tonight, unfortunately.
216
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:41,861
Poof!
217
00:09:45,021 --> 00:09:46,141
[cat purring]
218
00:09:46,421 --> 00:09:47,861
He's asking who you are.
219
00:09:49,061 --> 00:09:51,741
They're from the local newspaper.
[chuckles]
220
00:09:53,061 --> 00:09:53,941
So...
221
00:09:54,701 --> 00:09:57,941
when did you... first discover
you could speak to cats?
222
00:09:58,901 --> 00:10:01,701
Well, it was not long
after my daughter died.
223
00:10:01,781 --> 00:10:04,061
Um... he was her cat, you see.
224
00:10:04,141 --> 00:10:08,021
And I just started talking to him
about missing Jenny, and...
225
00:10:09,101 --> 00:10:10,181
we bonded.
226
00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:13,581
It's nice to have someone who understands.
227
00:10:15,461 --> 00:10:16,541
Yep... [sighs]
228
00:10:16,621 --> 00:10:17,621
...it is.
229
00:10:19,461 --> 00:10:20,861
Uh... what's his name?
230
00:10:21,341 --> 00:10:22,781
-[woman] Frank.
-Frank.
231
00:10:23,261 --> 00:10:25,021
She named him after her dad.
232
00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:27,341
That's my husband.
233
00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:31,341
[inhales shakily] He passed away
a couple of years before Jenny.
234
00:10:32,861 --> 00:10:34,861
Would you like another cup of tea?
235
00:10:35,781 --> 00:10:36,621
Uh...
236
00:10:36,701 --> 00:10:38,181
No, thanks. Um...
237
00:10:39,101 --> 00:10:41,301
Uh... can we take a quick picture?
238
00:10:41,381 --> 00:10:42,381
Oh, yeah.
239
00:10:42,981 --> 00:10:44,141
[camera clicks]
240
00:10:44,221 --> 00:10:46,021
-Great.
-[woman] Is that it, then?
241
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:48,381
Yeah.
242
00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:49,301
Um...
243
00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:51,901
Are you hungry?
I could make you something to eat.
244
00:10:53,181 --> 00:10:54,741
No. No, thanks.
245
00:10:55,581 --> 00:10:57,021
[sadly] Oh, all right, then.
246
00:10:57,101 --> 00:10:58,501
-[Tony] Thanks very much.
-Thank you.
247
00:10:59,621 --> 00:11:01,621
-[Tony] Right, bye-bye.
-Bye-bye. Thank you.
248
00:11:04,101 --> 00:11:05,261
[Tony] That's so sad.
249
00:11:05,341 --> 00:11:07,941
-[Lenny] She's happy enough.
-[Tony] No, she's not.
250
00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,101
She wants to tell her story.
251
00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:13,981
She wants to see her husband
and her daughter's name in the paper.
252
00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:15,541
The cat thing's just an in.
253
00:11:16,781 --> 00:11:17,781
She's lonely.
254
00:11:24,181 --> 00:11:26,261
-Did you forget something?
-[Tony] Um...
255
00:11:26,341 --> 00:11:29,021
Sorry about your husband and daughter.
256
00:11:29,101 --> 00:11:31,701
-[sentimental music plays]
-Oh, thank you.
257
00:11:32,461 --> 00:11:33,381
Frank and Jenny?
258
00:11:33,461 --> 00:11:34,381
Yes.
259
00:11:36,301 --> 00:11:37,181
Bye-bye.
260
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,861
Oh, bye-bye. Thank you.
261
00:11:47,821 --> 00:11:51,301
If I could live till he's 50,
that would make me happy.
262
00:11:51,821 --> 00:11:55,301
I don't think he'll live longer than that,
to be honest. Think he'd struggle.
263
00:11:55,941 --> 00:11:57,101
He struggles now.
264
00:11:59,381 --> 00:12:00,581
Roger Realms.
265
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,261
Have I told you about him?
Roger by name, Roger by nature?
266
00:12:05,061 --> 00:12:06,221
Who's Roger Realms?
267
00:12:06,301 --> 00:12:08,181
Agent. Used to work with him.
268
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,261
Would only sign black lads.
269
00:12:10,741 --> 00:12:13,221
I'd often wander into Roger's
dressing room, and there he'd be
270
00:12:13,301 --> 00:12:16,101
with some boy hanging off him,
he was basically an arse peg.
271
00:12:16,621 --> 00:12:20,141
Went early doors with AIDS,
but good luck to him, you know.
272
00:12:20,701 --> 00:12:22,061
God bless you, Roger.
273
00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:29,221
I've run a few
of these little local newspapers
274
00:12:29,301 --> 00:12:32,501
around the country. I know
that doesn't make me Rupert Murdoch.
275
00:12:33,621 --> 00:12:35,461
But this is the only one
that loses money.
276
00:12:36,221 --> 00:12:37,981
-Is it?
-Effectively, yes.
277
00:12:38,901 --> 00:12:42,901
I mean, I own the building,
so it's not a massive problem.
278
00:12:44,021 --> 00:12:47,021
Look, the fact is, uh... I'm semi-retired.
279
00:12:48,181 --> 00:12:49,501
And I'm wondering is it...
280
00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:51,421
is it worth the headache?
281
00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:54,621
I mean, I'm just thinking
I could throw in the towel.
282
00:12:56,341 --> 00:12:58,541
Sell the property and get a nice lump sum.
283
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,701
Could you give us more time,
do you think?
284
00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:04,381
[inhales sharply] Uh...
285
00:13:04,941 --> 00:13:05,901
Just if we could...
286
00:13:06,301 --> 00:13:07,581
-make more money, then...
-Look--
287
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:09,021
-We could find a way, I'm sure.
-OK.
288
00:13:09,101 --> 00:13:11,581
I mean, it's going to take a bit of time
to sell the property,
289
00:13:11,661 --> 00:13:13,621
get all the paperwork right. Um...
290
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,301
And if you can...
291
00:13:16,341 --> 00:13:20,101
Well, if you can make me an offer
I can't refuse, yes, then I'll look at it.
292
00:13:20,781 --> 00:13:22,421
But quite frankly, I...
293
00:13:23,141 --> 00:13:25,541
I'm sorry,
but I really don't see that happening.
294
00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:29,861
-Sorry.
-No, I'm sorry...
295
00:13:30,941 --> 00:13:33,061
that we're not making much money.
296
00:13:38,741 --> 00:13:41,181
-[Matt] So, speak soon.
-[owner] OK, thank you.
297
00:13:47,461 --> 00:13:48,741
OK, everyone? Um...
298
00:13:48,821 --> 00:13:51,701
Listen up. That was Mr. Middleton, Paul.
299
00:13:52,261 --> 00:13:56,301
Some of you know, he, um, owns everything:
the paper and the building.
300
00:13:57,261 --> 00:13:58,181
Um...
301
00:13:58,581 --> 00:14:00,341
He wants to stop running the paper.
302
00:14:00,861 --> 00:14:01,901
What, sell it?
303
00:14:01,981 --> 00:14:03,341
[Matt] Well, he wants to...
304
00:14:03,421 --> 00:14:05,301
um... close the paper,
305
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,381
and then sell the building.
306
00:14:07,461 --> 00:14:10,941
He'll sell it to a property developer.
This will be luxury flats.
307
00:14:11,661 --> 00:14:13,021
[Kath] Well, I'll be all right.
308
00:14:13,541 --> 00:14:15,781
Tambury Brewery have already said
they'd take me on.
309
00:14:16,381 --> 00:14:17,741
Think the boss fancies me.
310
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,781
Right. Well...
311
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:24,781
Well, that's the end
of The Tambury Gazette, kids.
312
00:14:24,861 --> 00:14:25,861
Don't worry,
313
00:14:25,941 --> 00:14:28,741
we'll all just get another shitty job
that barely pays enough to live.
314
00:14:28,821 --> 00:14:31,301
[Sandy]
This is the only job I've ever liked.
315
00:14:31,781 --> 00:14:33,021
I've got to have a job.
316
00:14:33,501 --> 00:14:35,061
My mum's disabled.
317
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:36,781
And my daddy can't work.
318
00:14:37,101 --> 00:14:40,701
My brother and sister, they're in school,
and they get nothing as it is.
319
00:14:40,781 --> 00:14:42,621
-OK.
-So I've got to go find another job
320
00:14:42,701 --> 00:14:45,101
-that I'll hate. Again.
-[Tony] OK.
321
00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:48,501
-Well, we'll save the paper, and...
-How?
322
00:14:48,581 --> 00:14:52,021
We'll get more revenue. Kath'll get more.
323
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,461
-How?
-[Tony] 'Cause you're really...
324
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:58,261
good at your... job. You'll charge more
for advertising, like...
325
00:14:58,341 --> 00:15:00,901
Tambury Brewery,
they'll pay more, won't they?
326
00:15:00,981 --> 00:15:02,861
Or we get a loan.
327
00:15:02,941 --> 00:15:05,661
Happens all the time.
We get a loan... We'll buy the...
328
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:10,221
building, and then we'll pay back the loan
with the profit from the...
329
00:15:10,781 --> 00:15:12,781
the paper, and pay ourselves a wage,
330
00:15:12,861 --> 00:15:14,861
and that'll be... then, it'll be our...
331
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:18,021
business to make it... work.
332
00:15:18,941 --> 00:15:20,821
So, don't worry. [taps keyboard idly]
333
00:15:21,381 --> 00:15:23,141
[choking back tears] You promise?
334
00:15:23,741 --> 00:15:24,781
[Sandy sniffles]
335
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,781
You... you'll save the paper?
336
00:15:29,781 --> 00:15:30,901
Yeah, I will.
337
00:15:30,981 --> 00:15:32,261
-[Sandy] OK.
-We will.
338
00:15:33,461 --> 00:15:35,461
[mournful music plays]
339
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:41,781
[Tony] Hmm.
340
00:15:43,421 --> 00:15:44,421
How are you?
341
00:15:45,661 --> 00:15:47,821
[halfheartedly] Yeah... you know.
342
00:15:50,061 --> 00:15:52,861
That's pretty positive coming from you.
[chuckling]
343
00:15:53,781 --> 00:15:58,141
I was trying to be all British
and not burden you with my... troubles.
344
00:15:59,381 --> 00:16:01,461
Well, us British love gossip.
345
00:16:03,141 --> 00:16:04,581
So, spill the beans.
346
00:16:06,261 --> 00:16:09,101
Same, really. I'm... still a bit mental.
347
00:16:10,421 --> 00:16:12,061
Trying hard to care about stuff.
348
00:16:12,421 --> 00:16:13,381
And then today,
349
00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:16,421
we find out that the owner of the paper,
350
00:16:16,821 --> 00:16:18,621
he's selling up and...
351
00:16:19,221 --> 00:16:20,941
we'll all lose our jobs.
352
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:21,861
Oh, no.
353
00:16:21,941 --> 00:16:23,741
That's not the bad bit.
I was fine with that.
354
00:16:23,821 --> 00:16:27,941
But then Sandy starts crying
'cause it's the only job she's ever liked,
355
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:31,781
and so, I've got to try
and save the paper for her sake.
356
00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:36,021
And my brother-in-law, who was sleeping
on the floor of the office,
357
00:16:36,101 --> 00:16:39,421
is now sleeping at Lenny's council house
358
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:41,461
'cause Lenny's shacked up with June,
359
00:16:41,541 --> 00:16:45,781
who persuaded him
to give her fat kid a job at the paper.
360
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:49,701
Just think, if I'd have killed myself,
I'd have missed all this.
361
00:16:52,381 --> 00:16:53,621
[Anne chuckles]
362
00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:57,941
[Matt] Brainstorming session.
363
00:16:58,021 --> 00:17:00,661
How do we turn the paper around?
How do we make it more profitable?
364
00:17:00,741 --> 00:17:02,101
We need to go more tabloid.
365
00:17:02,541 --> 00:17:06,621
Gossip, celebrity stuff, fashion.
Who looks shit an' that, you know?
366
00:17:06,701 --> 00:17:08,061
"Who looks shit an' that"?
367
00:17:08,581 --> 00:17:09,421
Yeah.
368
00:17:10,181 --> 00:17:12,261
Well, pictures of cellulite,
that kind of thing.
369
00:17:12,861 --> 00:17:14,741
You know, amazing stories.
370
00:17:14,821 --> 00:17:16,821
Paranormal, weird stuff.
371
00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:18,181
I love that.
372
00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:19,741
-Right.
-[Tony] Right.
373
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:22,541
You want tabloid,
you want to speak to my agent, Ken.
374
00:17:22,621 --> 00:17:24,301
Yeah, we did. He's mental.
375
00:17:26,541 --> 00:17:28,461
Well, we could run the Liberace story.
376
00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:30,261
N-No, we couldn't.
377
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,901
-Well, what is it?
-His agent reckons
378
00:17:31,981 --> 00:17:35,061
-he was bummed by the ghost of Liberace.
-[Lenny] Mm-hmm.
379
00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:40,341
-Well, it might be true.
-How the fuck can it be true?
380
00:17:40,421 --> 00:17:41,461
We don't know everything
381
00:17:41,541 --> 00:17:43,181
-about the paranormal.
-Lot of weird stuff.
382
00:17:43,261 --> 00:17:44,861
Right. It's all about belief, isn't it?
383
00:17:44,941 --> 00:17:47,021
You know, that's not up to us,
what people believe.
384
00:17:47,101 --> 00:17:50,461
Papers are always covering
religious miracles and stuff.
385
00:17:50,541 --> 00:17:53,421
-Yeah, and they're always bollocks.
-It's not for us to say.
386
00:17:53,501 --> 00:17:55,061
It is for us to say, we're writing it.
387
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,381
Yeah, but we're only reporting
what was said.
388
00:17:57,461 --> 00:17:59,581
-Right.
-Ghosts do exist, though.
389
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,341
Loads of people have seen 'em,
and there's no other explanation.
390
00:18:02,421 --> 00:18:03,861
Well, there is another explanation:
391
00:18:03,941 --> 00:18:05,781
they haven't seen them
'cause they don't exist.
392
00:18:05,861 --> 00:18:07,221
How about that one?
393
00:18:07,301 --> 00:18:09,381
No one has ever turned into a ghost.
394
00:18:09,861 --> 00:18:13,941
When you die, they burn you or bury you,
you never exist again, the end.
395
00:18:17,381 --> 00:18:21,381
[Valerie singing]
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
396
00:18:21,461 --> 00:18:24,621
[all] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
397
00:18:25,101 --> 00:18:27,621
♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪
398
00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:29,541
♪ Dear Lisa ♪
399
00:18:29,621 --> 00:18:33,101
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
400
00:18:33,181 --> 00:18:35,461
-[guests cheer]
-All right, thank you so much!
401
00:18:35,541 --> 00:18:37,901
-Right, cake!-[Matt] Yeah! Oh, definitely. Lovely.
402
00:18:37,981 --> 00:18:39,341
-Right.-[Tony] I want some.
403
00:18:39,421 --> 00:18:41,421
-Look at you at the front of the queue!-I bought it!
404
00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:43,741
-It's my birthday.-I know, but I went and...
405
00:18:44,181 --> 00:18:45,701
-Oh, fuck's sake.-What?
406
00:18:45,781 --> 00:18:48,061
-It's off. Yeah, it's fresh cream.-No, it's not.
407
00:18:48,141 --> 00:18:49,221
-It is.-Oh, no.
408
00:18:49,301 --> 00:18:50,501
-Smell it. Look.-It's cherries.
409
00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:52,581
-Oh, you silly cunt!-[shocked squeals]
410
00:18:52,661 --> 00:18:55,181
-Oh, no. You come back!-Don't do it. Don't hit me!
411
00:18:55,661 --> 00:18:56,661
[Matt] Go on, get him!
412
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:03,941
Ohh...
413
00:19:06,301 --> 00:19:07,461
What'd you do that for?
414
00:19:07,541 --> 00:19:08,541
You look sad.
415
00:19:08,621 --> 00:19:10,701
-Right!
-Oh, that's a waste.
416
00:19:11,501 --> 00:19:13,661
Right, OK.
I don't think this is helping, though.
417
00:19:13,741 --> 00:19:17,381
-Oh, look, it's all over you.
-[Matt] Don't. Kath, please. Stop.
418
00:19:17,461 --> 00:19:19,821
As long as we're working hard
to turn things around.
419
00:19:20,181 --> 00:19:22,421
-Some on your face as well.
-It's all right. OK. Yeah.
420
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:24,021
-Fun's over, guys.
-[Sandy giggles]
421
00:19:24,101 --> 00:19:27,061
-Can I have a word in my office, please?
-[Tony] Oh, God.
422
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,501
[Matt] Don't, Kath, please.
Stop trying to...
423
00:19:31,741 --> 00:19:34,101
-[James] Is this for everyone?
-[giggling] Yeah.
424
00:19:34,181 --> 00:19:35,341
Good stuff!
425
00:19:35,701 --> 00:19:37,661
-You just had a cake fight?
-[Lenny] Yeah.
426
00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,061
-Looks like fun.
-Mm.
427
00:19:39,141 --> 00:19:40,861
-[Brian] Can I have some?
-[Sandy] Go for it.
428
00:19:40,941 --> 00:19:43,981
Thank you. OK, let's dive in.
One, two, three. Here we go.
429
00:19:44,381 --> 00:19:46,021
-You like it?
-It's so good.
430
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,701
-What?
-[James] It's really good.
431
00:19:47,781 --> 00:19:49,421
-[Brian] Huh?
-[James] Delicious.
432
00:19:49,501 --> 00:19:52,501
I can't understand a word you're saying,
but I love watching you eat.
433
00:19:53,381 --> 00:19:55,941
-Oh!
-You're like a fat toad eating a big worm.
434
00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:57,701
A big creamy worm.
435
00:19:59,341 --> 00:20:00,181
Hmm?
436
00:20:00,261 --> 00:20:02,061
Will you come for a drink with me tonight?
437
00:20:02,621 --> 00:20:04,341
-I prefer to drink alone.
-[Matt] I know.
438
00:20:04,421 --> 00:20:07,981
I'm just saying as a favor. Please?
I still want to talk to people.
439
00:20:08,061 --> 00:20:10,621
The only person who listens
is my therapist, and I have to pay him.
440
00:20:11,101 --> 00:20:12,621
-And he's an idiot.
-Right.
441
00:20:13,061 --> 00:20:14,501
I only want to talk to you.
442
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,021
And Jill, obviously,
but that's not possible at the moment.
443
00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:19,341
My life's falling apart, Tony.
444
00:20:19,421 --> 00:20:22,461
I go from sleeping on the floor
of my office to taking Lenny's flat,
445
00:20:22,541 --> 00:20:24,221
and in return,
I give his fat stepson a job
446
00:20:24,301 --> 00:20:25,861
at a paper that I'm now gonna lose.
447
00:20:25,941 --> 00:20:27,581
It's, like, the final straw.
448
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:28,501
Well...
449
00:20:30,301 --> 00:20:31,821
actually, being needed is...
450
00:20:32,581 --> 00:20:33,621
is a good thing.
451
00:20:33,701 --> 00:20:35,021
You helped a mate
452
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:38,261
with his relationship,
gave his fat kid a job, you should be...
453
00:20:38,941 --> 00:20:39,981
proud of yourself.
454
00:20:41,221 --> 00:20:43,581
Right. You see,
you're making me feel better already.
455
00:20:43,941 --> 00:20:46,141
Come on, please? One lousy pint.
456
00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:47,541
All right. Fuckin' hell.
457
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,581
Thank you.
458
00:20:48,941 --> 00:20:50,421
I'd get changed if I were you.
459
00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:54,181
-[tuts] Yeah.
-[door opens]
460
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,021
[sniffs]
461
00:20:56,741 --> 00:20:57,821
[door opens]
462
00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:00,141
[door closes]
463
00:21:03,181 --> 00:21:04,021
All right?
464
00:21:04,861 --> 00:21:06,141
I'm Pat.
465
00:21:06,661 --> 00:21:08,181
Er... Roxy. How you doing?
466
00:21:08,261 --> 00:21:10,621
Yeah, good. Yeah.
Do you want to sit down?
467
00:21:10,701 --> 00:21:12,421
-[Roxy] OK.
-[Pat grunts]
468
00:21:13,261 --> 00:21:17,181
Oh. Well, you didn't, uh, didn't flinch
when you first saw me, that's rare.
469
00:21:17,261 --> 00:21:18,901
-[Pat chuckles awkwardly]
-[laughs]
470
00:21:19,621 --> 00:21:21,141
Yeah, and I made you laugh!
471
00:21:21,221 --> 00:21:23,141
-I'm nervous. Nervous laughter.
-Oh, sorry.
472
00:21:23,221 --> 00:21:25,101
I didn't mean... Yeah.
I dunno why I said that.
473
00:21:25,181 --> 00:21:27,421
I was just a bit nervous.
I'm not a rapist or anything.
474
00:21:27,501 --> 00:21:29,501
-Oh, OK!
-Shouldn't have said rape. Want a drink?
475
00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:31,221
-Er, yes.
-Yeah? What do you want?
476
00:21:31,301 --> 00:21:33,101
-Um...
-I'm just having a house red.
477
00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:36,181
It's all right.
It's only four pound a glass, so...
478
00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:37,501
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
479
00:21:38,101 --> 00:21:39,501
[pop music plays]
480
00:21:39,581 --> 00:21:42,341
[Matt] OK. Um... IPA, please.
481
00:21:42,421 --> 00:21:44,461
-And a...
-Large whiskey, please.
482
00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:46,061
[therapist] Oi oi! Matt!
483
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:48,101
How you doing?
484
00:21:48,981 --> 00:21:50,381
-You all right?
-I'm all right, yeah.
485
00:21:50,461 --> 00:21:52,661
These are my boys.
That's Ratty, the Nonce.
486
00:21:52,741 --> 00:21:53,581
-Hello.
-All right?
487
00:21:53,661 --> 00:21:55,461
Yeah. No, I've heard all about you two.
488
00:21:55,541 --> 00:21:58,261
Yeah, he's got loads of other nicknames,
not just the Nonce. Pipe up.
489
00:21:58,341 --> 00:22:00,701
Yeah. Fanny-tastic. Minge and Bracket.
490
00:22:00,781 --> 00:22:02,821
-Clitoris Allsorts.
-[therapist and Ratty snigger]
491
00:22:02,901 --> 00:22:04,381
[Ratty] Shit Nuts.
492
00:22:04,461 --> 00:22:06,021
-Harold Shitmum.
-Queermint Rhino.
493
00:22:06,101 --> 00:22:07,301
[childish snickering]
494
00:22:07,381 --> 00:22:09,221
-The Growler Prowler. Billy the Cunt.
-Yeah.
495
00:22:09,301 --> 00:22:11,341
-[Ratty] Michael Parkinbum.
-[therapist guffaws]
496
00:22:11,421 --> 00:22:14,221
Look. That's the suicidal one with
the dead wife I was telling you about.
497
00:22:14,301 --> 00:22:15,421
-Oh, yeah.
-You all right?
498
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,461
Shouldn't you have
a confidentiality agreement?
499
00:22:17,541 --> 00:22:19,381
-I didn't say your name, mate.
-Right,
500
00:22:19,461 --> 00:22:21,301
but... OK, yeah, no, good point.
501
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:24,221
So, you took my advice, yeah,
come down for a pussy hunt?
502
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:26,781
-Ooooh!
-[Ratty] Oi oi! On a pussy hunt, are ya?
503
00:22:26,861 --> 00:22:30,461
[making shooting and splattering sounds]
504
00:22:30,541 --> 00:22:32,221
[therapist grunting]
505
00:22:32,301 --> 00:22:33,741
Come and join us, man.
506
00:22:33,821 --> 00:22:35,461
-I'm not on duty, it's free of charge.
-No.
507
00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:38,741
-Afraid I can't. Just having a couple.
-Oh, yeah? Nice jacket.
508
00:22:38,821 --> 00:22:41,261
-[Ratty and Nonce snigger]
-Thanks.
509
00:22:42,821 --> 00:22:44,701
Come on! What's the matter with you?
510
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,221
I should go check on Tony.
511
00:22:46,621 --> 00:22:48,501
Go on, then.
Bang some beaver for us, yeah?
512
00:22:48,581 --> 00:22:50,341
[Nonce] Yeah, go on.
Have a good night.
513
00:22:50,861 --> 00:22:52,941
-Size of that mushroom!
-[Roxy chuckles]
514
00:22:53,021 --> 00:22:54,701
It's like a quarter...
Only a quarter of it.
515
00:22:54,781 --> 00:22:56,461
It's good value, innit, for you?
516
00:22:57,181 --> 00:22:58,421
This was 13 quid.
517
00:22:58,501 --> 00:22:59,701
[Roxy laughs]
518
00:22:59,781 --> 00:23:02,381
[laughs]
No, I'm serious. This was 13 quid.
519
00:23:04,181 --> 00:23:05,501
So, how comes you're single, then?
520
00:23:05,581 --> 00:23:07,541
'Cause I used to be twice this size.
521
00:23:07,621 --> 00:23:08,701
[chuckles lightly]
522
00:23:09,061 --> 00:23:10,221
[Pat] No, I'm serious.
523
00:23:10,741 --> 00:23:11,781
At my heaviest...
524
00:23:12,701 --> 00:23:14,061
about 24 stone.
525
00:23:14,781 --> 00:23:17,181
I lost it all, didn't I,
when I became a postman.
526
00:23:17,781 --> 00:23:19,181
I think big blokes are sexy.
527
00:23:19,541 --> 00:23:20,901
No, I was an absolute mess.
528
00:23:20,981 --> 00:23:24,581
I was a car crash under there.
I've still got a lot of loose skin, but...
529
00:23:25,301 --> 00:23:27,381
-I'm saving up to get it sorted.
-[chuckles]
530
00:23:27,941 --> 00:23:31,101
[laughs] No, I'm serious.
It's 'orrible down there. 'Orrible.
531
00:23:31,861 --> 00:23:32,861
Really bad.
532
00:23:33,861 --> 00:23:34,981
I'm loving this.
533
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:36,701
[Roxy] Risotto? It's good!
534
00:23:36,781 --> 00:23:37,941
No, this...
535
00:23:38,821 --> 00:23:39,661
the date.
536
00:23:39,741 --> 00:23:40,821
I'm enjoying it as well.
537
00:23:40,901 --> 00:23:44,781
You know, I know you're out of my league
and that, but... ahh! Yeah.
538
00:23:45,581 --> 00:23:47,141
No, it's good. It's been fun.
539
00:23:51,461 --> 00:23:53,461
-Fuckin' hell.
-Maybe he's right, though.
540
00:23:53,541 --> 00:23:55,021
Maybe I should bang some beaver.
541
00:23:55,941 --> 00:23:56,781
Bang some...?
542
00:23:56,861 --> 00:23:58,461
Bang some beaver. His words, not mine.
543
00:23:58,541 --> 00:23:59,901
Yeah, exactly. They're his words,
544
00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:02,581
they should never be said
by any other human being.
545
00:24:03,741 --> 00:24:04,821
[Tony] Fuckin' hell.
546
00:24:07,101 --> 00:24:08,461
Can't hurt, though, can it?
547
00:24:08,541 --> 00:24:10,061
-What?
-[Matt sighs]
548
00:24:10,621 --> 00:24:11,701
Chatting up a girl.
549
00:24:12,341 --> 00:24:14,141
"Chatting up a girl"?
550
00:24:17,741 --> 00:24:19,821
What about those two over there?
Don't look.
551
00:24:19,901 --> 00:24:21,021
No. No.
552
00:24:22,101 --> 00:24:24,941
They've come here for a quiet drink.
To talk to each other.
553
00:24:25,021 --> 00:24:28,501
-Not to be chatted up by you.
-Why not? Come on, come over with me.
554
00:24:28,581 --> 00:24:29,461
No, no, no, no!
555
00:24:29,541 --> 00:24:30,661
-Please?
-No.
556
00:24:30,741 --> 00:24:33,701
Just sit over there with me.
Not to make a move, just sit at the table.
557
00:24:33,781 --> 00:24:37,621
So, to talk to each other and drink?
Not to bother any...
558
00:24:37,701 --> 00:24:38,541
Yeah.
559
00:24:40,661 --> 00:24:41,501
All right.
560
00:24:42,341 --> 00:24:44,181
[indistinct chattering]
561
00:24:44,261 --> 00:24:45,581
Uh, anyone sitting here?
562
00:24:46,061 --> 00:24:47,461
-Er, no, go for it.
-Great.
563
00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:49,181
[funky beat plays]
564
00:24:49,261 --> 00:24:51,181
-This is pretty funky, isn't it?
-Sit down!
565
00:24:52,541 --> 00:24:53,381
[Tony] Please.
566
00:24:54,221 --> 00:24:55,101
OK.
567
00:24:56,581 --> 00:24:57,421
Right.
568
00:24:59,661 --> 00:25:01,421
-Um... Are you--
-No.
569
00:25:05,621 --> 00:25:06,741
Girls' night out?
570
00:25:06,821 --> 00:25:07,741
Er, yeah.
571
00:25:09,061 --> 00:25:11,181
[women continue chatting indistinctly]
572
00:25:15,941 --> 00:25:17,301
Just to say, you can relax.
573
00:25:17,741 --> 00:25:19,501
Uh... we're not married men...
574
00:25:19,581 --> 00:25:21,221
as such. We're... I am married.
575
00:25:21,461 --> 00:25:24,061
Um, but I'm separated.
Getting divorced, probably.
576
00:25:24,501 --> 00:25:25,341
Um...
577
00:25:25,661 --> 00:25:26,941
Tony's wife's died.
578
00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,701
Um... of cancer.
579
00:25:34,381 --> 00:25:36,141
So, it's totally, uh, legitimate.
580
00:25:37,381 --> 00:25:38,221
What is?
581
00:25:39,141 --> 00:25:40,781
Just talking to us. It's not--
582
00:25:40,861 --> 00:25:41,781
Sorry.
583
00:25:46,341 --> 00:25:47,661
Yeah, and how's your mum?
584
00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:52,781
[Tony sighs deeply]
585
00:25:56,821 --> 00:25:59,501
-I think I'm out of practice.
-You reckon?
586
00:26:00,101 --> 00:26:02,101
-'Cause that was...
-Hi.
587
00:26:02,621 --> 00:26:04,501
-Hi.
-[Simon] Hi.
588
00:26:05,021 --> 00:26:08,541
-Oh, you've, uh, met... Tony, I think.
-[Tony] Yeah.
589
00:26:08,621 --> 00:26:09,461
[Simon] Yeah.
590
00:26:12,341 --> 00:26:13,341
[Tony] Ah...
591
00:26:15,301 --> 00:26:16,901
-'Ave a good night.
-[nurse] Yes.
592
00:26:17,261 --> 00:26:18,301
-You OK?
-[Tony] Yep.
593
00:26:18,661 --> 00:26:20,181
-[Nonce] Just do it.
-[grunting]
594
00:26:20,261 --> 00:26:23,661
-Go on, wank yourself off!
-[grunting, splattering]
595
00:26:25,141 --> 00:26:28,141
I reckon we've spent about the same,
so that's worked out.
596
00:26:28,581 --> 00:26:30,501
We said we was going to go halves,
didn't we?
597
00:26:31,261 --> 00:26:32,261
Let me get it.
598
00:26:32,581 --> 00:26:34,021
-No, no, no...
-Let me get it.
599
00:26:34,101 --> 00:26:35,381
-I'd like to get it.
-No.
600
00:26:35,461 --> 00:26:36,821
Let's go halves.
601
00:26:36,901 --> 00:26:40,061
And I tell you what, how about you pay
for the whole thing next time?
602
00:26:40,141 --> 00:26:41,741
[laughs]
603
00:26:41,821 --> 00:26:43,661
Do you want there to be a next time?
604
00:26:44,901 --> 00:26:46,381
-Yes. I mean...
-[relieved chuckling]
605
00:26:46,461 --> 00:26:47,461
-Oh, result!
-I do.
606
00:26:47,541 --> 00:26:50,661
-I don't know what is happening here.
-[chuckles] Oh, smashing.
607
00:26:51,621 --> 00:26:54,101
-You say it all out loud, don't you?
-Oh, sorry. Yeah.
608
00:26:54,541 --> 00:26:56,181
Don't be sorry, it's nice.
609
00:26:56,261 --> 00:26:57,941
-Shall we piss off, then?
-Yeah.
610
00:26:58,021 --> 00:26:58,861
Yeah.
611
00:26:59,741 --> 00:27:01,461
-[Roxy] Sort of.
-[chuckles]
612
00:27:06,341 --> 00:27:07,981
Do you want me to walk you home?
613
00:27:08,301 --> 00:27:11,021
Oh, no. I've, erm...
I've got to head off to work now.
614
00:27:12,221 --> 00:27:13,221
Peak time.
615
00:27:13,661 --> 00:27:14,661
Right, yeah...
616
00:27:16,381 --> 00:27:18,221
-It's just a job.
-Yeah.
617
00:27:20,981 --> 00:27:22,341
What time do you finish?
618
00:27:22,901 --> 00:27:24,501
Not till early morning.
619
00:27:25,141 --> 00:27:26,581
I might bump into you, then.
620
00:27:27,061 --> 00:27:28,301
[chuckles] Maybe.
621
00:27:28,741 --> 00:27:29,861
Well, have a good one.
622
00:27:33,221 --> 00:27:34,701
-You have a good one.
-Yeah.
623
00:27:35,381 --> 00:27:37,341
-See you later.
-See you later.
624
00:27:46,821 --> 00:27:47,821
What are you doing?
625
00:27:47,901 --> 00:27:50,061
[Tony] Just filming that little quiffyou've done.
626
00:27:50,141 --> 00:27:51,861
-Aw, I like it! It's cute.-It's--
627
00:27:51,941 --> 00:27:55,141
OK, everybody. Shush.Could I have your attention, please?
628
00:27:55,221 --> 00:27:57,381
Uh, we're going to havethe first dance now,
629
00:27:57,461 --> 00:28:01,141
so I give you the bride and groom!
630
00:28:01,221 --> 00:28:03,061
[guests cheer and applaud]
631
00:28:05,421 --> 00:28:07,421
["So Amazing" by Luther Vandross plays]
632
00:28:19,501 --> 00:28:21,421
-[Jill] That's my dress.-[Matt] Sorry.
633
00:28:21,621 --> 00:28:24,341
♪ Love has truly ♪
634
00:28:25,381 --> 00:28:27,421
♪ Been good to me ♪
635
00:28:29,061 --> 00:28:31,621
♪ Not even one sad day ♪
636
00:28:31,701 --> 00:28:35,861
♪ Or minute have I hadSince you've come my way ♪
637
00:28:36,501 --> 00:28:39,861
♪ I hope you know ♪
638
00:28:40,221 --> 00:28:42,381
♪ I'll gladly go ♪
639
00:28:44,061 --> 00:28:46,621
♪ Anywhere you take me ♪
640
00:28:46,701 --> 00:28:50,261
♪ It's so amazing to be loved ♪
641
00:28:50,501 --> 00:28:55,461
♪ I'd follow you to the moonIn the sky above ♪
642
00:29:04,941 --> 00:29:08,661
♪ I've got ♪
643
00:29:10,101 --> 00:29:13,461
♪ Got to tell you ♪
644
00:29:13,901 --> 00:29:16,421
♪ How you thrill me ♪
645
00:29:17,381 --> 00:29:20,341
♪ I'm happy as I can be ♪
646
00:29:20,421 --> 00:29:24,861
♪ You have comeAnd it's changed my whole world ♪
647
00:29:24,941 --> 00:29:28,381
♪ Bye-bye, sadness ♪
648
00:29:28,861 --> 00:29:31,501
♪ Hello, mellow ♪
649
00:29:32,421 --> 00:29:34,981
♪ What a wonderful day ♪
650
00:29:35,061 --> 00:29:38,941
♪ It's so amazing to be loved ♪
651
00:29:39,021 --> 00:29:45,461
♪ I'd follow you to the moonIn the sky above ♪
652
00:29:53,421 --> 00:29:56,661
♪ My girl ♪
653
00:29:56,741 --> 00:30:00,861
-♪ And it's so amazing ♪-♪ So amazing ♪
654
00:30:00,941 --> 00:30:03,621
-♪ I could stay forever ♪-♪ Stay forever... ♪
45896
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