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1
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Hayley. Hayley, wake up.
2
00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:05,938
It's a horrible family emergency!
3
00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:07,005
What?! God what?!
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,541
The emergency is your
life isn't going anywhere,
5
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,276
so we're going to get you some drive.
6
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,145
We're going for a drive?
7
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,279
In a car?
8
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,281
No, we're going for a walk.
9
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In our bodies.
10
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,019
As you know, every day I leap out of bed
11
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,487
and fly into my slippers.
12
00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,222
Of course, your "leap of faith."
13
00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,557
It shakes the whole house.
14
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:28,761
But what you don't know is
every morning before my leap,
15
00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:31,696
I take a brisk walk
around Langley's historic
16
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,966
Gaslamp district to get the blood up
17
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,500
and the laziness down.
18
00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:37,702
You go on this walk and
then get back in bed?
19
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,638
This healthy routine gives me the drive
20
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,573
I need to have a successful career.
21
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,108
I want that for you, too.
22
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,978
But I already have a
successful career at Subhub.
23
00:00:45,980 --> 00:00:48,513
They even trust me enough
to let me have a key.
24
00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:49,914
A key to where?
25
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:51,383
The bathroom.
26
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,785
Just as I feared.
27
00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:54,719
The room so awful it's where we hide
28
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,321
our disgusting toilets.
29
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,056
Hayley, Subhub is not a career.
30
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,859
It's a dead-end.
But I'm showing you a way out,
31
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,127
complete with breakfast
at a little place
32
00:01:03,129 --> 00:01:04,262
I like to call...
33
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:07,199
Johnny Fifties!
34
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,801
I remember this place!
35
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,469
We used to come here all the time.
36
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:11,603
Johnny, my man!
37
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:12,937
Gimme a piece of toast,
38
00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,673
and mash up these peas for me.
39
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:17,742
But only if you promise not
to charge me for the peas.
40
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,143
They're my property, Johnny.
41
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,747
I won't pay for what's
already mine, Johnny.
42
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,750
Again, Stan, my name is Sal.
43
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,552
The restaurant is Johnny Fif...
44
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:28,687
Ooh, I'll have a shortstack of pan...
45
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,155
No, the food is terrible.
46
00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:33,425
You just come to soak up
that authentic 1990s-style
47
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'50s atmosphere.
48
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,829
Stan, I've got some bad news.
49
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We're closing.
50
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,698
Closing?! How could this be?!
51
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:43,502
Well, people just don't care
about 1950s nostalgia anymore.
52
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Or maybe we'd have survived if,
I dunno, every day
53
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,573
you bought something more
expensive than toast.
54
00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,375
Johnny, 86 the toast.
55
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:51,576
You can't expect people to eat
56
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:53,846
after getting terrible news like that!
57
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,516
No! No! Stop the music!
58
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,584
Not today, big brass band!
59
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:00,919
Shut up! Shut up!
60
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,721
You okay up there, Mr. Smith?
61
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,923
Johnny Fifties is going under.
62
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,592
It's bad news, or to put it in terms
63
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,728
you'll understand, bad music.
64
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,463
Well, if you love the place so much,
65
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,131
maybe you could give them a loan?
66
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,400
I just don't know where
I'd find the money.
67
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,802
Anyway, you and the boys take
the rest of the week off,
68
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,605
fully paid of course.
69
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,407
Well it's official, gang.
70
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,609
I have hep C.
71
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,879
I think it's time for some
major lifestyle changes...
72
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:28,613
Red alert! Family emergency!
73
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,014
What?! God what?!
74
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:32,617
I'm too upset to say
what the emergency is.
75
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,020
I must carve it.
76
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:39,824
J...
77
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,493
O...
78
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,828
Oh, it's about Johnny Fifties closing.
79
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,564
I heard him tell the bandleader.
80
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,233
Oh, yeah, Johnny Fifties!
81
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,235
Their food sucks.
82
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:51,636
And no shock top.
83
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,438
Okay, my fingers hurt.
84
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:54,907
It's Johnny Fifties.
85
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:57,109
I cannot let this restaurant close.
86
00:02:57,111 --> 00:02:58,510
- Why?
- Well, for one thing,
87
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,245
it's part of my morning routine.
88
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,780
But also, let's be honest.
89
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,515
I'm a '50s kind of guy.
90
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,383
Exhibit A... my suit.
91
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,721
Oh, yeah, your suit is sort of '50s.
92
00:03:08,723 --> 00:03:11,123
For a '50s guy like me,
letting Johnny Fifties
93
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,792
close would be like admitting the
'50s were over.
94
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,194
But the '50s are over!
95
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,064
Don't you get it?!
If you're truly nostalgic,
96
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,465
nothing is ever over!
97
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,334
As someone who was alive back then
98
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:25,270
with a Wolfman Jack-type
radio DJ persona
99
00:03:25,272 --> 00:03:28,607
and a number-one doo wop hit,
I think Stan's onto something.
100
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,475
Look around this house, guys.
101
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:31,744
Not a lot of love for the '50s.
102
00:03:31,746 --> 00:03:33,612
He's right. No jell-o molds.
103
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,013
No hula hoops!
104
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:38,817
Plus, you're not watching TV
while you eat!
105
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,820
And even if you were,
"Happy Days" is never on!
106
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,622
Uhp, there it is, but it's a bad one,
107
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,957
doesn't count... too much Potsie.
108
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,558
That's it! If I'm going to
109
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,626
save the restaurant...
110
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,027
You have to improve the food?
111
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:52,097
I need to get people
to love the '50s again!
112
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,032
There's no time to lose!
113
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:57,636
Did you know glory holes were much,
much larger in the '50s?
114
00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,571
One time me and both Everly Brothers
115
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,106
stuck our junk in one together
116
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,307
all at the same time.
117
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:03,776
And you know who was on the other side?
118
00:04:03,778 --> 00:04:05,177
The Big Bopper.
119
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:07,245
At least that's what it felt like,
I never saw him.
120
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,513
- Aah! Aah!
- Aah! Aah!
121
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,150
What? Never seen
a successful person before?
122
00:04:12,186 --> 00:04:13,786
Is this supposed to be like dad's
123
00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:15,520
"leap of faith" out of bed?
124
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,856
It's a natural expression of drive.
125
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,858
The regional manager's
coming to Subhub today
126
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,260
and I am gonna show him, and dad,
127
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,563
that I've got what it
takes to get ahead.
128
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,667
Mr. S throws our food on the ground
129
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,803
and she jumps all over the table?
130
00:04:30,805 --> 00:04:33,137
Someone's gotta say it.
131
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:36,642
They made a mockery of breakfast.
132
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,279
As your regional manager, I'm here
133
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,148
because by now, most of you
have seen the leaked documents
134
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,751
referring to your positions
as "dead-end jobs."
135
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,220
Uh, what documents?
136
00:04:48,222 --> 00:04:49,354
It doesn't matter.
137
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:53,025
The point here is your
jobs are not dead-ends.
138
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,359
Yes, dead-ender in the back.
139
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,627
So are we allowed to drink
140
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,229
the oranginas or what?
141
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,563
Give me a promotion!
142
00:04:58,565 --> 00:04:59,964
I've got the keys to success!
143
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,701
Or should I say the bathroom?
144
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,970
Pee pee? Poo pee? What's your pleasure?
145
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,772
Tell me what you need,
what Subhub needs,
146
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:09,174
and I am on it.
147
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,776
Well, we would like
to open a new location
148
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,846
in the hugely-desirable-
nearly-impossible-to-find-
149
00:05:13,848 --> 00:05:16,048
an-open-space-in Gaslamp district.
150
00:05:17,061 --> 00:05:19,852
I know just the place.
151
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:24,056
Johnny Fifties is closing and
Subhub can take its place!
152
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,323
Great idea!
153
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,591
You're promoted!
154
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,126
The rest of you... demoted!
155
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:31,329
You live here now and
get paid in pepperoni.
156
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,664
According to math,
157
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,200
Johnny Fifties can stay
afloat for eight weeks.
158
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,801
And we're gonna need every minute of it
159
00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,803
to get people to love the '50s again.
160
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,338
'Cause you really have to love the '50s
161
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,608
to stomach your signature
nauseating burgers.
162
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,877
I mean you no disrespect, Johnny.
163
00:05:44,879 --> 00:05:46,144
My name is Sal.
164
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,947
I call it "Operation '50s heat up:
165
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:52,684
Get 'em interested in the
'50s and save Johnny Fifties!"
166
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,888
What if we call it
"Operation '50s fever"?
167
00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:58,823
Horrible idea.
Klaus, you're going to Milwaukee
168
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:01,159
to get the statue of Arthur Fonzarelli,
169
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,895
aka the Bronze Fonz.
170
00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:04,763
I need it! Go now!
171
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:09,101
I don't really need the Fonz statue.
172
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,635
We just can't have Klaus around
173
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,304
sloshing his bowl water all over
174
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,572
everyone's classic cars.
175
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,908
Everyone will have classic cars?
176
00:06:15,910 --> 00:06:17,710
And more! Here's some concept art
177
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:19,644
I had made to inspire us.
178
00:06:19,646 --> 00:06:23,315
Cruisin' cars, lawn darts,
asbestos chunks,
179
00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:26,785
Johnny Fifties bursting with
hungry Fonzie impersonators.
180
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:30,188
Stan, you seem to be leaning
pretty heavily on Fonzie.
181
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,391
Um, people also like,
I don't know, Elvis?
182
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,994
Oh, you mean singing Fonzie. Good idea!
183
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,130
I always wanted to be
like Marilyn Monroe
184
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,599
and have an air vent blow my dress up!
185
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,734
You'll do it! And Roger, you do your old
186
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,536
Wolfman Jack DJ persona.
187
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:47,005
That persona was unforgettable.
188
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,007
What was his name again? Wolfman Puck?
189
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,275
No, that's not it. Don't worry,
190
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,676
it'll come to me on the air.
191
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,011
Jeff, you're a beatnik,
192
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,948
and Steve,
you can be a nerd or "square."
193
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:58,350
Easy. True to the time period,
194
00:06:58,352 --> 00:07:01,620
I'll put tape on my glasses
to make them appear broken...
195
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:02,755
No need!
196
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:05,490
Just like James Dean, I pulled my punch
197
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:06,891
so I only hurt the glasses.
198
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,026
No you didn't!
199
00:07:08,874 --> 00:07:10,162
Hayley, you can be Spudnik.
200
00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,497
He was a very famous potato.
201
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:15,968
Dad, you won't believe this.
Your walk gave me drive.
202
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:19,838
And that drive got me a job
as manager of a new Subhub
203
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,706
opening where Johnny Fifties used to be!
204
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,777
But Johnny Fifties is where
Johnny Fifties used to be.
205
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:26,511
Not for long. After I told them
206
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:29,714
it was closing,
Subhub sweet-talked the landlord
207
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,184
into taking over the lease in two days!
208
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:34,987
But two days isn't nearly
enough time for my plan!
209
00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:36,455
Aren't you happy for me?
210
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,256
Happy? You betrayed me.
211
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,659
You're trying to destroy a place I love.
212
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,260
So, you don't like it
when I don't have drive,
213
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,596
and you don't like when I do have drive.
214
00:07:45,093 --> 00:07:47,932
What even is this? Operation '50s fever?
215
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,802
My original idea Klaus was never here.
216
00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:51,804
Blueprints for a leather jacket?
217
00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:54,807
A list of places for beaver to leave it?
218
00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,942
This plan is so stupid.
219
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,212
Thank God I commissioned concept art
220
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:02,414
for every possible betrayal.
221
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:05,950
This is exactly how I feel,
right down to my giant ass!
222
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,486
I can't let her do this to me.
223
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,687
New plan!
224
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,955
Oh, good, that one was kinda stupid...
225
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,825
The old plan, faster!
226
00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:16,361
We'll do Operation
'50s fever in 48 hours!
227
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,031
Why have I pinned my hopes on this fool?
228
00:08:19,033 --> 00:08:21,900
Would a fool get concept art of himself
229
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,169
dressed as a court jester
pleading with the king
230
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,438
not to cut his head off
for not having enough bells
231
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:27,639
on his jester hat?
232
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,509
I'm a goner! Welp, lesson learned.
233
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:32,211
Shoulda had more bells.
234
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,914
Y Stan needs Langley to catch
235
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,916
a baaad case of '50s fever
236
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,451
or else Hayley will be proven right
237
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,987
that Stan's plan to save Johnny Fifties
238
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:44,522
is a stupid, stuuuupid plan.
239
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,858
You heard it from me, uh...
240
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,059
What's my name again?
241
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,727
The '50s was so long ago.
242
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,064
Wolfboy... George?
243
00:08:52,066 --> 00:08:55,034
Did I mention Hayley thinks
Stan's plan is stupid?
244
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,605
Gah! I feel betrayed
by Hayley all over again!
245
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:01,273
- And by you!
- Why me?!
246
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:03,141
Because you're here talking my ear off
247
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,876
when you should be buying extra food
248
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,379
for when I ignite '50s fever!
249
00:09:08,282 --> 00:09:10,082
But Stan, I'm bankrupt...
250
00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:12,217
You don't say you're "bankrupt,"
Daddy-O.
251
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,286
You say you're "on the skids."
252
00:09:16,424 --> 00:09:17,956
I like your plan.
253
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,926
And I love not wearing seatbelts.
254
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:21,960
Aah!
255
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,495
The CIA's Cuban operations
256
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:26,698
really came through with these
classic cars on short notice.
257
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,166
Paging Mr. Bega,
258
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:31,437
can you say "Mambo number '50s"?
259
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,373
Plenty more where that came from.
260
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,908
Like a Greaser, I've got goodies
261
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,777
rolled up all over my body.
262
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:39,845
Pack of raisins.
263
00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:42,247
Box of Goobers in my waistband.
264
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,785
Aah!
265
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,721
Where are all the contestants?!
266
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:51,923
You had one simple job, Steve.
267
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,326
To gather 500 to 600 professional
268
00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,528
Fonzie impersonators
on an hour's notice.
269
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:58,730
How was I supposed to get the word out?
270
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,398
You won't let me use my computer!
271
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,867
Before there was e-mail,
272
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,202
there was just plain tell-e-grams.
273
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:07,673
And we attached them to the
infamously dangerous lawn darts.
274
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:11,009
Infamously dangerously fun.
275
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,746
Have faith, son.
Trends always start with
276
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,215
one single brave cool guy.
277
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,485
But this time it's not James Dean.
278
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,487
It's James me...
279
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,223
Enough of these faulty toothpicks!
280
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:29,161
It's time to show Hayley
just how wrong she is.
281
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:30,628
Okay, one more try.
282
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:37,035
Oh, Marilyn!
283
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:39,637
Time to walk over that normal vent!
284
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,708
I'm in a hurry! Outta my way!
285
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:45,643
Whoa, the air's so hot!
286
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,845
My genitals!
287
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,747
Aaaaaaagh!
288
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:54,286
Hey, let's play chicken!
289
00:10:55,523 --> 00:10:57,122
Whoa!
290
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,191
Someone shred that guy and slather him
291
00:10:59,193 --> 00:11:00,792
in hot mayonnaise and marshmallows,
292
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,127
because he's a chicken,
293
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,763
and that's my recipe
for Chicken Ambrosia.
294
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:11,269
Here's one that never fails
to spark '50s fever...
295
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,039
Passing a milkshake between cars.
296
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,874
I can't reach you!
297
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,876
I like bongos!
298
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,213
Too thick!
299
00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:23,215
The way it used to be!
300
00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:24,282
Aah!
301
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,889
Ribs broken by steering column...
302
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:33,192
The way it used to be.
303
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,361
Yes!
304
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,496
Yay!
305
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,432
With '50s fever failing to catch,
306
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:43,435
it looks like Subhub's
new location is all
307
00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:46,171
but a certainty, which means...
308
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,039
I'm really gonna be a manager!
309
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,975
With a manager's salary.
310
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:52,978
And a manager's mansion.
311
00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:55,581
Who is this concept
artist everyone's using?
312
00:11:55,583 --> 00:11:58,850
None of this would be
possible without you.
313
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,253
My rod is too hot!
314
00:12:01,255 --> 00:12:03,121
And the Goobers in my pants melted!
315
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,524
Yeah.
316
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,460
None of this would be
possible without me.
317
00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:11,063
You feel bad for a man who
doesn't want his daughter
318
00:12:11,065 --> 00:12:12,598
to live in a mansion?
319
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:13,932
The best type of house?!
320
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,468
It's all Hayley's fault!
321
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,670
I should've known she'd
mess up having drive
322
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:22,340
like she has everything
else in her life.
323
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,942
That's it.
324
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,612
You're live on the air with...
325
00:12:26,614 --> 00:12:27,679
some kinda wolf...
326
00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:29,281
Dad, I know you're listening,
327
00:12:29,283 --> 00:12:30,482
and I want you to know
328
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:32,951
I'm with people who appreciate my drive
329
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,020
so much I'm getting a mansion.
330
00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,155
Wow. For our listeners who don't know,
331
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,024
that's the best type of house.
332
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:42,160
So just give up now and
stop embarrassing yourself!
333
00:12:44,105 --> 00:12:45,297
Another caller!
334
00:12:45,299 --> 00:12:46,764
This isn't over, Hayley.
335
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,300
The fever is catching.
336
00:12:48,302 --> 00:12:50,035
It's the loser '50s guy!
337
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,170
He's cheating and using a cellphone!
338
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,706
Loser? Maybe free asbestos
339
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:55,974
will change your mind!
340
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,376
The miracle molecule of the '50s!
341
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,312
- Ugh!
- And, uh...
342
00:13:00,314 --> 00:13:03,581
It's only gonna get more
feverish when people see,
343
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,251
uh...
344
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:08,053
a James Dean type like me
345
00:13:08,055 --> 00:13:11,523
in a classic teenage knife
fight up at the old observatory!
346
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:14,126
DJ, play a song of betrayal.
347
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:16,662
I wanna dedicate it to my daughter.
348
00:13:17,719 --> 00:13:20,332
♪ Betrayal is a terrible thing ♪
349
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:22,534
♪ The pain can last so long ♪
350
00:13:22,536 --> 00:13:25,603
♪ Oh, the devil's gonna
poke you in your giant ass ♪
351
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:29,207
♪ And your daughter's
gonna cheer him on ♪
352
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,479
Watch out, teens!
353
00:13:33,481 --> 00:13:37,549
This rebel's gonna cause you
to love the '50s!
354
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,418
Oh, my God!
355
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:41,687
You stabbed me!
356
00:13:41,689 --> 00:13:43,489
It's just a nick! Please like this
357
00:13:43,491 --> 00:13:45,823
so I can prove my daughter wrong!
358
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,159
Please, I beg you!
359
00:13:47,161 --> 00:13:48,293
I'm not crazy!
360
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,628
I just really love a restaurant.
361
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:54,366
That's him!
The bowzer from Sha Na Na lookalike
362
00:13:54,368 --> 00:13:56,034
who pooped his pants!
363
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,303
James Dean... Goobers.
364
00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,905
Yeah, that's what they all say.
365
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:03,575
We've got a warrant for your
arrest and plenty of witnesses.
366
00:14:07,181 --> 00:14:10,115
Before you arrest me, I just want to say
367
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,184
none of that stuff I did was wrong
368
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:14,386
in the '50s. You could get away with
369
00:14:14,388 --> 00:14:17,189
all kinds of crazy stuff because...
370
00:14:17,191 --> 00:14:19,858
♪ We didn't know that was bad yet ♪
371
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,428
♪ We didn't know that could kill ya ♪
372
00:14:24,398 --> 00:14:27,332
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
373
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,467
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
374
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,469
You threw a lawn dart in my skull!
375
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,271
♪ We didn't know it was wrong! ♪
376
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:34,340
You stabbed my son!
377
00:14:34,342 --> 00:14:36,074
♪ We didn't know, we didn't know ♪
378
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,409
You threw asbestos in my face!
379
00:14:37,411 --> 00:14:39,077
♪ Now you're insulated, dude ♪
380
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,278
My genitals!
381
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,813
♪ Wow, you're howdy doody smooth ♪
382
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:44,682
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
383
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,219
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
384
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,554
But what if someone gets hurt?
385
00:14:48,556 --> 00:14:50,622
The nurses all wear funny hats!
386
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:53,291
What about the rampant
sexism and racism?
387
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,692
It was wrong then and it is wrong now
388
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,228
and in our new '50s, it isn't allowed!
389
00:14:57,631 --> 00:14:59,164
The Fonzies came!
390
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,432
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
391
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:01,833
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
392
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:04,903
♪ We're Fonzies and we're here to say ♪
393
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,371
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
394
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,639
- ♪ Ay ♪
- ♪ Ay ♪
395
00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:11,043
♪ '50s fever's here to stay ♪
396
00:15:11,045 --> 00:15:12,444
I get it!
397
00:15:12,446 --> 00:15:14,446
The '50s were about willful ignorance!
398
00:15:14,448 --> 00:15:16,114
Now you're razzin' my berries!
399
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,183
So I don't have to go to school?
400
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,717
♪ That was the opposite of cool ♪
401
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,186
And I can litter on the ground?
402
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,854
♪ I call it nature's lost and found ♪
403
00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:23,989
And I can eat trans fats?
404
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:25,457
♪ Some say that's
where the flavor's at ♪
405
00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:26,792
So I can stab my son?
406
00:15:26,794 --> 00:15:28,460
♪ It's just a Nick, and yes, it's fun!
407
00:15:28,462 --> 00:15:29,861
So I can drink and drive?
408
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,397
♪ Fonzie did it all the time ♪
409
00:15:31,399 --> 00:15:32,931
- Ay! Ay!
- Ay! Ay!
410
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:35,401
♪ Turn back the page
to an innocent age ♪
411
00:15:35,403 --> 00:15:38,136
♪ We didn't know it was wrong ♪
412
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:43,208
Now that you've ignited '50s fever,
what's next, Stan?
413
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:46,178
Going to Johnny Fifties,
saving it at long last?
414
00:15:48,302 --> 00:15:51,216
Too soon. These people aren't
hungry enough yet to choke down
415
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:52,417
that wretched slop.
416
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,352
Everyone, to the sock hop!
417
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,154
It's over, Hayley.
418
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:58,156
Everyone can't have '50s fever.
419
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,292
My God, it's happening in here!
420
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,361
Wail on that black forest ham,
Big Daddy!
421
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,164
Welp, we're throwing in the towel.
422
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,367
Subhub corporate is as quick to
give up as we are to celebrate.
423
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,303
Why would he do this to me?
424
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,972
He wanted me to have drive.
425
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,173
Wait...
426
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,442
Drive...
427
00:16:16,444 --> 00:16:19,911
Time to fight '50s with '50s.
428
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,053
Aah!
429
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:30,322
Now that you've danced
yourselves ravenous
430
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:33,859
and would eat trash like wild boars,
let's go...
431
00:16:33,861 --> 00:16:35,193
save Johnny Fift...
432
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:37,929
I challenge you to a drag race!
433
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,265
If I win the race,
434
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,401
Subhub takes over Johnny Fifties.
435
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,936
Ha! Why would I accept that
436
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:47,072
when I already have everything I want?
437
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:50,542
Because... '50s honor demands it.
438
00:16:50,544 --> 00:16:54,412
'50s honor! '50s honor!
439
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,613
Okay! Okay!
440
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,883
'50s honor, which I've just heard of,
441
00:16:57,885 --> 00:16:59,817
is everything to me!
442
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:01,219
Let's drag!
443
00:17:03,142 --> 00:17:05,891
Everyone's finally tuning into me,
Dogboy Chuck,
444
00:17:05,893 --> 00:17:09,294
as we all wonder who will
win the big drag race.
445
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:10,962
It's Stan vs. Hayley,
446
00:17:10,964 --> 00:17:12,898
Johnny Fifties vs. Subhub,
447
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:14,432
past vs. future,
448
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,835
today's glory holes vs. giant '50s
449
00:17:16,837 --> 00:17:18,570
"Looney Tunes"-sized glory holes
450
00:17:18,572 --> 00:17:20,506
where you can just wave
at the guy or the gal
451
00:17:20,508 --> 00:17:21,973
on the other side.
452
00:17:25,485 --> 00:17:27,045
Hayley, before I win,
453
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:29,247
I should finally be honest with you.
454
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,249
I wish Fonzie was my daughter.
455
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,584
You're sick, Dad.
456
00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:35,120
And Fonzie is really
more of a '70s icon!
457
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:37,790
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie,
Fonzie, Chachi, Potsie, Richie!
458
00:17:39,527 --> 00:17:42,327
Don't! These cars are death traps!
459
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,795
Don't worry, Steve.
460
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,864
I've had my mechanics working all night.
461
00:17:45,866 --> 00:17:47,399
Show 'em, boys!
462
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,201
- Ay!
- Ay! Ay!
463
00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,002
Safe enough for ya, Steve?
464
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:55,006
And I'm DJ Apeman Snack,
the voice of a generation
465
00:17:55,008 --> 00:17:56,608
and the face of a genera...
466
00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:58,676
Damn it,
you can't see my face on the radio.
467
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,478
I'll text you all a picture of my face
468
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,348
using Amber alert technology.
469
00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:04,283
Look at it even if you're driving.
470
00:18:05,753 --> 00:18:07,685
Sorry if my dick is also in the picture.
471
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,221
Don't let that shock you off the road.
472
00:18:09,223 --> 00:18:11,623
And take off those seatbelts,
it's the '50s!
473
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:14,693
Vietnam's around the corner
and it's gonna git ya!
474
00:18:18,032 --> 00:18:20,766
And now the song you've
all been waiting for,
475
00:18:20,768 --> 00:18:24,236
my very own number-one hit from 1958,
476
00:18:24,238 --> 00:18:26,104
"Drag Race Angels"!
477
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,507
This one's dedicated to Stan and Hayley.
478
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,244
♪ Drag race angels ♪
479
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,248
♪ A father who's mean ♪
480
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:38,784
♪ Drag race angels ♪
481
00:18:41,055 --> 00:18:42,788
♪ A daughter who dreams ♪
482
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:44,990
Wait a second, I know this song.
483
00:18:44,992 --> 00:18:46,859
It was our song!
484
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,864
♪ Remember when Hayley ♪
485
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:56,402
♪ Was just a little girl? ♪
486
00:18:56,404 --> 00:18:59,737
♪ You'd eat at Johnny Fifties ♪
487
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:02,540
♪ And drink a malt with two straws ♪
488
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,076
♪ You love these memories ♪
489
00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:07,012
♪ Not the '50s,
you crazy drag race angel ♪
490
00:19:07,014 --> 00:19:09,815
Wow. This song really takes me back.
491
00:19:09,817 --> 00:19:12,884
And a lot of the lyrics make
more sense now than ever.
492
00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:15,621
I loved Johnny Fifties
because of the time
493
00:19:15,623 --> 00:19:17,355
I spent there with Hayley.
494
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,557
But I can spend time with her now!
495
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:21,760
Must kill Dad!
496
00:19:21,762 --> 00:19:23,895
Eesh. Or maybe I can't.
497
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:26,498
Man, how would Fonzie fix this?
498
00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:29,401
Ay!
499
00:19:31,305 --> 00:19:33,371
Nay!
500
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:42,314
The Bronze Fonz, Stan!
501
00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:43,649
I took some '50s-style benzos
502
00:19:43,651 --> 00:19:46,251
and drove to Milwaukee
and back in one day!
503
00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:53,325
Johnny Fifties is saved!
504
00:20:01,669 --> 00:20:03,801
Oh, my God! Dad, are you okay?
505
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,337
Oh, Hayley, forgive me.
506
00:20:05,339 --> 00:20:08,073
I haven't been James Dean or James me.
507
00:20:08,075 --> 00:20:10,542
I've been plain old James mean.
508
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,944
Dad, you... you might have brain damage.
509
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:14,946
One of your pupils is so big.
510
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:18,150
That's because I'm looking
at someone I love so big.
511
00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:20,552
Hayley, I want you to know I support you
512
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,888
wherever your drive takes you next,
513
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,623
Subhub or no Subhub.
514
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,026
The toothpicks are back!
515
00:20:28,028 --> 00:20:31,429
I'm gonna drive you to the hospital.
516
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,032
I spy with my little eye...
517
00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:35,233
a table!
518
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,103
Aww, it's our table!
519
00:20:38,839 --> 00:20:41,106
♪ Table angels ♪
520
00:20:43,377 --> 00:20:44,776
♪ They love each other now ♪
521
00:20:44,778 --> 00:20:48,847
♪ Don't worry about Sal ♪
522
00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:51,383
♪ He sells Chicken Ambrosia, wow ♪
523
00:20:51,385 --> 00:20:52,450
♪ He's a billionaire ♪
524
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:56,121
♪ Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
525
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:58,090
Bye-bye! See you soon!
526
00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:01,952
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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