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1
00:01:10,473 --> 00:01:12,480
Valentine's Day.
2
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:15,261
Saint Valentine.
3
00:01:15,369 --> 00:01:18,533
Patron saint of bee keepers...
4
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,414
epilepsy...
5
00:01:20,904 --> 00:01:25,028
fainting... the plague...
6
00:01:25,992 --> 00:01:28,097
and of course...
7
00:01:29,832 --> 00:01:31,076
love.
8
00:01:32,041 --> 00:01:36,645
Love, love, love, love
love, love, love...
9
00:02:16,457 --> 00:02:20,680
Maybe I should send
her a valentine.
10
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,767
She'd never know.
11
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:40,610
I'll radish you.
12
00:02:40,713 --> 00:02:44,455
It's funny and witty, Razor sharp.
13
00:02:44,553 --> 00:02:45,895
She�ll love it.
14
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,446
I won't. I will. I won't. I will.
15
00:03:00,553 --> 00:03:01,982
I have.
16
00:03:02,185 --> 00:03:05,534
I've just sent a valentine to
my best friend's wife!
17
00:03:05,736 --> 00:03:09,959
Fuck!
18
00:03:53,321 --> 00:03:55,044
Hiya.
19
00:03:55,144 --> 00:03:56,966
Hello, Freddie.
20
00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:03,456
Now try not to forget...
21
00:04:03,561 --> 00:04:06,724
they're not suppositories.
You take them orally.
22
00:04:07,017 --> 00:04:09,024
Okay Thank you.
23
00:05:05,224 --> 00:05:06,369
Darling.
24
00:05:14,921 --> 00:05:16,262
Get off, you...
25
00:05:16,841 --> 00:05:18,750
I am the ball's
official photographer.
26
00:05:20,392 --> 00:05:23,075
Hey, you're looking good
for a man in a skirt.
27
00:05:23,176 --> 00:05:24,605
Thank you, sweetie.
28
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,105
Bloody hell.
29
00:05:30,184 --> 00:05:32,769
- Sorry. No taxis.
- Hello, darling.
30
00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:35,742
Hi, Archie.
31
00:05:36,008 --> 00:05:37,830
- So, shall we?
- Yes.
32
00:05:46,953 --> 00:05:48,294
See you in court.
33
00:05:57,032 --> 00:05:58,854
You're a genius.
34
00:05:58,952 --> 00:06:01,822
Hey, don't go bolstering
that bastard's ego.
35
00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:04,318
So, did you like my valentine?
36
00:06:04,424 --> 00:06:08,221
- Oh, yeah. very sexy.
- Sexy?
37
00:06:08,329 --> 00:06:10,151
Well, of course. It was from you.
38
00:06:10,824 --> 00:06:12,831
It's delicious.
Have you tried some?
39
00:06:13,416 --> 00:06:14,562
Feed me.
40
00:06:15,049 --> 00:06:17,253
Okay, close your eyes.
41
00:06:22,729 --> 00:06:23,776
Radish?
42
00:06:24,264 --> 00:06:25,988
Your valentine, silly.
43
00:06:27,144 --> 00:06:31,268
Oh, sweetheart. I'm really sorry
I forgot to post it.
44
00:06:32,616 --> 00:06:34,045
Then who sent this?
45
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,466
I'll radish you?
What a sad do.
46
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,029
It was really sweet.
47
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:51,974
So my baby sister's got
a secret admirer.
48
00:06:52,072 --> 00:06:54,080
With a thing about root vegetables.
49
00:06:54,184 --> 00:06:55,908
Darling, you're a beautiful woman,
50
00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:58,113
and someone's got
the hots for you.
51
00:06:59,176 --> 00:07:01,380
Sam reckons it's one of
my patients.
52
00:07:01,481 --> 00:07:06,270
- Hey, you could have a wild affair.
- You haven't seen my patients.
53
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,208
Anyway, you think
you've got problems?
54
00:07:10,312 --> 00:07:12,385
Yeah, But they're all married.
55
00:07:12,489 --> 00:07:13,830
Toby's single.
56
00:07:13,928 --> 00:07:16,611
I never did understand
your relationship with Toby.
57
00:07:18,344 --> 00:07:22,468
By the way... I persuaded Henry
to try some Viagra, plus half an ' E'.
58
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:26,310
- Felicity. That's very dangerous.
- Certainly is.
59
00:07:26,408 --> 00:07:29,375
I've been walking like John Wayne
ever since.
60
00:07:30,248 --> 00:07:31,775
You tried it out on Sam yet?
61
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,948
We're fine.
62
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,306
Fine. Oh, dear God,
it's worse than I thought
63
00:07:38,408 --> 00:07:40,994
It's great. Really.
64
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,007
Very nice.
65
00:07:43,113 --> 00:07:46,429
Alice, anyone that thinks
that screwing is nice
66
00:07:46,536 --> 00:07:48,925
is confusing sex with sewing.
67
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,617
Oh, yes.
68
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:54,022
I wouldn't kick him out of bed.
69
00:07:54,696 --> 00:07:57,958
Oh, Nice plinth.
70
00:07:58,248 --> 00:07:59,677
Would you like a sample?
71
00:07:59,785 --> 00:08:02,567
- I'd like the whole package.
- It's our new line.
72
00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:05,031
' Anonymous. ' A hint of mystery
with a dark
73
00:08:05,128 --> 00:08:07,267
promise of forbidden excitement.
74
00:08:08,712 --> 00:08:10,817
Just what you need, darling.
75
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,582
Bloody hell.
76
00:08:34,984 --> 00:08:36,708
How long have you been at this?
77
00:08:38,344 --> 00:08:40,548
It takes as long as it takes.
78
00:08:40,648 --> 00:08:43,136
Yeah? But then what?
79
00:08:43,912 --> 00:08:48,189
I just wanna see her sail again.
After that... who knows.
80
00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:52,612
Maybe I'll just sit on the deck,
a glass of whisky in hand and...
81
00:08:52,712 --> 00:08:54,534
watch the sun go down.
82
00:08:54,824 --> 00:08:59,134
I don't know, mate.
You're a one off. You really are.
83
00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:04,614
Your department, I believe.
84
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,262
A few more than I said, I'm afraid.
85
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,484
Looks like Dan's on a fruit
and nut diet.
86
00:09:13,448 --> 00:09:16,994
- Still need notes for Monday?
- Mmm. Sorry.
87
00:09:17,576 --> 00:09:18,918
Hey, quick drink before you starts?
88
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,707
Are you not going home
to your beautiful wife?
89
00:09:21,096 --> 00:09:23,584
She's out on the piss
with her beautiful sister.
90
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,946
Oh, go on. What do you say?
91
00:09:27,624 --> 00:09:29,631
Nah, I've got to get on with this,
haven't I?
92
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:34,822
Mysterious, yet slightly naughty,
for the femme fatale of today.
93
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,349
It's not me.
94
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:41,152
A single sniff turns tongue tied boys
into fluent cunnilinguists.
95
00:09:41,449 --> 00:09:44,416
- Oh, did Sam like your card?
- Suppose so.
96
00:09:45,192 --> 00:09:46,337
Bit weird, really.
97
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,124
He said it was sexy.
98
00:09:49,224 --> 00:09:51,875
Sexy?
A picture of Marge Simpson?
99
00:09:52,648 --> 00:09:53,990
Oh, bugger.
100
00:09:54,088 --> 00:09:56,575
- Maybe his other card was sexy.
- What other card?
101
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,168
The one he's not telling you
about, dummy
102
00:09:59,272 --> 00:10:01,377
He's obviously got
a secret admirer too.
103
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,203
Excuse me, your table's ready.
104
00:10:11,464 --> 00:10:13,765
He would have told me
when I showed him mine.
105
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:16,068
Darling, you're forgetting,
he's a man.
106
00:10:16,552 --> 00:10:20,294
You're a nurse, you should know
They've got smaller brains than us.
107
00:10:20,392 --> 00:10:22,214
So they can fit them into
their penises.
108
00:10:22,312 --> 00:10:23,719
I don't know why you sleep with
so many men.
109
00:10:23,816 --> 00:10:25,539
You obviously don't like them.
110
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,029
I like bits of them.
111
00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:30,624
Not all married men are like
your boyfriends, you know.
112
00:10:30,728 --> 00:10:32,157
Of course they are.
113
00:10:32,264 --> 00:10:35,231
- It's just a question of opportunity.
- It's a question of trust.
114
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:38,303
If someone fancied Sam,
he'd tell me straight away.
115
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,225
He would.
116
00:10:41,672 --> 00:10:44,258
Okay. Prove it.
117
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:48,384
I got one with nothing on it.
Must be from Henry. Silent type.
118
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,982
Come on. Ten quid says
he doesn't tell you.
119
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,705
Hundred says he does.
120
00:10:52,808 --> 00:10:53,953
Deal.
121
00:10:57,672 --> 00:10:59,581
So, you liked it then?
122
00:10:59,688 --> 00:11:01,030
Henry.
123
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:04,194
Oh, it was so sweet.
I was just showing to Alice.
124
00:11:05,544 --> 00:11:08,511
Ooh, still at attention!
125
00:11:10,152 --> 00:11:14,276
Oh can't you see
126
00:11:14,376 --> 00:11:21,086
You belong to me
127
00:11:25,224 --> 00:11:27,842
No, no. No, please.
128
00:11:27,944 --> 00:11:29,700
Please don't post it.
129
00:11:30,376 --> 00:11:33,158
Mum always said you got me
into trouble.
130
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:39,772
What?
131
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,466
Trying to remember the last time
I saw you naked.
132
00:11:44,008 --> 00:11:46,310
A little mystery never did any harm.
133
00:11:48,136 --> 00:11:49,565
Hello, sexy.
134
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:30,335
Good morning.
The headlines at eight o'clock.
135
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,717
Footballer Dan Harlow begins his
refute allegations libel action today
136
00:12:34,824 --> 00:12:36,929
Hey, You all right?
137
00:12:38,472 --> 00:12:39,617
Fine.
138
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:42,790
- That will be Martin.
- That will be Martin.
139
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,185
Yeah?
140
00:12:45,768 --> 00:12:46,630
Hi, Martin.
141
00:12:46,824 --> 00:12:49,694
Oh, look, your case is on the news.
142
00:12:50,184 --> 00:12:52,671
of football's bright young players.
143
00:12:52,776 --> 00:12:55,842
Dan Harlow is suing a major
national newspaper for alleging
144
00:12:55,944 --> 00:12:57,569
- That he had three in a bed
- Yeah, listen, mate, I'll call you back.
145
00:12:57,672 --> 00:13:00,061
sex romps with a married couple.
146
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:02,372
Harlow's wife, actress Miranda Campbell,
147
00:13:02,472 --> 00:13:04,643
is conspicuously absent today.
148
00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:06,849
Bristol's up and coming libel lawyer,
149
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,057
Sam Holbrook, has taken the case...
150
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:12,706
but with the story backed by
numerous photographs, observers here
151
00:13:12,807 --> 00:13:15,590
are questioning the wisdom
of bringing this case to court
152
00:13:15,687 --> 00:13:17,313
in the first place.
153
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:29,509
Gotta run.
154
00:13:31,624 --> 00:13:32,671
Bye, darling.
155
00:13:40,616 --> 00:13:42,438
He even kept the lock of hair.
156
00:13:43,496 --> 00:13:45,797
Good job Henry keeps
that dog clean.
157
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,728
- Anyway, at least there's an upside.
- What?
158
00:13:49,832 --> 00:13:51,654
I'm a hundred quid richer.
159
00:13:51,944 --> 00:13:55,293
Repeat after me ' Felicity was right'.
160
00:13:55,399 --> 00:13:57,309
He just didn't wanna hurt my feelings.
161
00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:02,398
It's not like he's gonna run off
and have an affair or anything.
162
00:14:06,728 --> 00:14:07,840
Sorry.
163
00:14:11,592 --> 00:14:13,414
- I'll prove it.
- How?
164
00:14:13,512 --> 00:14:19,076
I don't know. I'll text him. Something
raunchy. See if he responds.
165
00:14:19,176 --> 00:14:22,143
- He'll know it's from your phone.
- I'll buy a new one.
166
00:14:22,248 --> 00:14:25,030
- And if he rings?
- He won't ring.
167
00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:29,158
I'll talk to him then.
168
00:14:29,255 --> 00:14:31,557
And when he recognizes
your voice?
169
00:14:31,656 --> 00:14:33,663
I'll be all sexy.
170
00:14:33,768 --> 00:14:35,491
Go on then, let's hear it.
171
00:14:37,512 --> 00:14:39,879
And more to the point,
what would you say?
172
00:14:39,976 --> 00:14:42,758
You know... Filthy things.
173
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:46,788
Alice. The nearest you get to
filthy is gardening.
174
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:49,091
So what's it gonna be
'Come and play with my begonias'?
175
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:53,891
Hello, Sam.
176
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:57,251
This is Anonymous.
177
00:14:58,503 --> 00:15:00,608
Would you like to prune my bush?
178
00:15:03,688 --> 00:15:05,510
Actually, that's not bad.
179
00:15:06,183 --> 00:15:09,631
Innocent yet knowing,
with just a hint of slapper.
180
00:15:10,312 --> 00:15:12,003
Every man's perfect woman.
181
00:15:28,423 --> 00:15:30,049
Do you swap ends at half time?
182
00:15:30,152 --> 00:15:32,518
Who are you playing for next,
Danny? Queen's Park Rangers?
183
00:15:32,615 --> 00:15:33,892
Arsenal, more like
184
00:15:33,992 --> 00:15:37,155
Shut it, you. Dan ain't
no pi I low biter, right?
185
00:15:38,216 --> 00:15:39,460
You know these guys.
Just a bit of fun, yeah?
186
00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,821
Fun? Any more fun like that
and we�ll lose the Yorkie contract.
187
00:15:42,919 --> 00:15:45,472
Where the hell's Miranda? The jury
needs to see her supporting you.
188
00:15:45,576 --> 00:15:47,485
Filming, mate. It's what she does.
189
00:15:47,784 --> 00:15:51,907
Aye, aye. Blonde eyebrows.
190
00:15:52,775 --> 00:15:55,077
Blonde eyebrows, blonde kebab.
191
00:16:02,088 --> 00:16:05,154
Me and my boyfriend Paul,
we're both bisexual.
192
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:09,279
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Just get double the fun that way.
193
00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:13,125
We get chatting to Dan in the bar...
194
00:16:13,224 --> 00:16:15,679
And Paul asks him
about being a gay icon.
195
00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:18,173
Wonders if it goes any further than that.
196
00:16:18,664 --> 00:16:22,111
So Dan says:
'Why don't we go and find out?'
197
00:16:22,408 --> 00:16:24,895
So Mr. Harlow invited you
to his hotel?
198
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,586
That's a lie.
Dan ain't no chutney badger!
199
00:16:30,952 --> 00:16:33,440
Flic, what underwear
have you got on?
200
00:16:33,543 --> 00:16:36,227
Alice, maybe you should think
this through.
201
00:16:36,327 --> 00:16:38,432
Anonymous doesn't think.
202
00:16:38,824 --> 00:16:40,350
She does.
203
00:16:40,744 --> 00:16:42,270
Talk about stamina.
204
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:46,020
First me, then Paul...
then the two of us together.
205
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,614
He couldn't get enough of it.
206
00:16:49,256 --> 00:16:50,979
And who took the photographs?
207
00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:53,763
Them? Well, me and Paul.
208
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,262
We like to keep a few souvenirs,
you know?
209
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,661
Very valuable souvenirs
210
00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:01,247
Hey, it weren't like that.
211
00:17:01,351 --> 00:17:02,780
We had a lovely time.
212
00:17:03,271 --> 00:17:06,239
In the morning, Dan started
calling us all sorts of names...
213
00:17:06,343 --> 00:17:07,685
so we thought stuff him.
214
00:17:08,071 --> 00:17:11,138
If he's gonna be like that,
then he deserves all he gets.
215
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:14,403
Thank you.
No more questions, m' Lud.
216
00:17:16,807 --> 00:17:18,334
Mr. Holbrook?
217
00:17:20,231 --> 00:17:21,376
Sam.
218
00:17:26,184 --> 00:17:27,907
No questions, m' Lud.
219
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,204
Haven't seen him for a while.
220
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:58,689
- Martin.
- Martin.
221
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,449
- It might be important.
- This is important.
222
00:18:13,287 --> 00:18:15,197
Oh, hi, Martin. What's up, mate?
223
00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:19,233
Yeah. No problem.
I'll see you then.
224
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,638
You had your chance
and you blew it.
225
00:18:33,224 --> 00:18:34,271
Oh, hi.
226
00:18:35,719 --> 00:18:37,345
Breakfast is served.
227
00:18:37,736 --> 00:18:40,419
Unfortunately, I've gotta run.
228
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,683
Archie's asked us round
for dinner tonight.
229
00:18:43,784 --> 00:18:44,929
Tonight?
230
00:18:46,568 --> 00:18:50,015
I'm sorry. Martin wants to go
over some paperwork.
231
00:18:51,368 --> 00:18:52,513
But you go, eh?
232
00:18:53,863 --> 00:18:55,008
See you later.
233
00:19:08,519 --> 00:19:09,861
Hello.
234
00:19:33,063 --> 00:19:34,492
When you're ready, mate.
235
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,528
Do I get a discount for
these silences?
236
00:19:41,032 --> 00:19:44,098
Mr. Sharpe.
237
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,977
As Dan Harlow's personal manager...
238
00:19:47,079 --> 00:19:49,381
could you tell the Court your
recollections of the evening of the
239
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,585
17th of June last year?
240
00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:56,772
Yeah, well, you see, what with
Miranda off working, I knew that
241
00:19:56,871 --> 00:19:58,016
Dan would be on his tod...
242
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,771
so invited him round for
a bit of nosebag.
243
00:20:00,871 --> 00:20:04,897
You know, spag bol, can of lager,
couple of games of snooker.
244
00:20:04,999 --> 00:20:08,348
And then about half ten,
he toodled off home.
245
00:20:08,455 --> 00:20:11,238
- Are you sure about the time?
- Yes.
246
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,499
See, Buffy was about to start,
and I never miss it.
247
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:19,005
How far is your home
from the hotel
248
00:20:19,111 --> 00:20:21,413
where the alleged incident
took place?
249
00:20:21,895 --> 00:20:23,521
Hundred miles, give or take.
250
00:20:23,624 --> 00:20:26,406
So for Mr. Harlow to have been
there by eleven...?
251
00:20:26,504 --> 00:20:29,286
He would have needed
a time machine.
252
00:20:34,055 --> 00:20:36,160
Sorry, just on my way
to lunch. Anything?
253
00:20:36,264 --> 00:20:39,133
Didn't text, didn't ring. I was right,
you were wrong.
254
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,062
Perfect husband.
255
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,745
Darling, I've had dozens of those.
256
00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:56,899
God! Oh my God!
257
00:21:00,168 --> 00:21:02,175
Flic! It's ring!
258
00:21:02,375 --> 00:21:03,586
Hi.
259
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,083
Bastard! What do I do?
260
00:21:06,183 --> 00:21:08,866
I don't know, do I? It was your
stupid idea in the first place.
261
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:12,033
- It was your idea.
- huh, The phone wasn't my idea.
262
00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:14,918
Maybe he's just ring to say
that he's happily married.
263
00:21:15,591 --> 00:21:17,217
There's one way to find out.
264
00:21:23,175 --> 00:21:24,419
Hello.
265
00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:28,451
- Hello.
- No.
266
00:21:29,031 --> 00:21:30,176
Hello?
267
00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:35,332
Hello... Sam.
268
00:21:36,199 --> 00:21:38,021
What am I wearing?
269
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:39,744
Cheeky sod!
270
00:21:43,208 --> 00:21:45,509
I'm not taking my clothes off.
271
00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,877
Nothing. I'm wearing nothing.
272
00:21:50,983 --> 00:21:54,147
I'm completely, totally...
273
00:21:55,303 --> 00:21:56,547
naked.
274
00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:58,757
And I'm...
275
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:00,288
Late?
276
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:04,800
waiting...
277
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,720
for you.
278
00:22:07,079 --> 00:22:09,762
Thinking about you.
279
00:22:12,168 --> 00:22:13,313
Naked.
280
00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:17,925
Feeling...
281
00:22:20,135 --> 00:22:23,681
t0vch1ng... mys3lf.
282
00:22:31,079 --> 00:22:33,283
My nipples are...
283
00:22:35,495 --> 00:22:36,924
hard.
284
00:22:45,256 --> 00:22:49,478
Well, you are very naughty.
285
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,109
Are you? Really?
286
00:23:00,135 --> 00:23:03,779
I can feel you.
287
00:23:05,799 --> 00:23:07,806
Close your eyes.
288
00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:15,805
Don't stop. Don't stop...
Good, good, good!
289
00:23:37,256 --> 00:23:39,743
You all right, mate? Lunch?
290
00:23:43,559 --> 00:23:46,047
This is fucking war!
291
00:23:46,151 --> 00:23:47,874
Hang on, you obviously enjoyed it.
292
00:23:47,975 --> 00:23:49,797
That's not the point.
293
00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:51,618
I had phone sex with my husband.
294
00:23:51,719 --> 00:23:54,686
He had phone sex with
a complete stranger.
295
00:23:54,983 --> 00:23:57,089
I want his testicles on a plate!
296
00:23:59,591 --> 00:24:02,657
Then I think I might use
the cheese grater on his knob!
297
00:24:02,759 --> 00:24:04,963
Some men would pay
good money for that.
298
00:24:05,831 --> 00:24:07,741
And give him a chili powder enema.
299
00:24:07,847 --> 00:24:08,992
That too.
300
00:24:09,383 --> 00:24:14,173
Then I'll cut off his foreskin
and feed it to the cat!
301
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:20,004
Oh, thank you, Alice.
I only come here for the scenery.
302
00:24:20,391 --> 00:24:22,017
Mr. Sharpe.
303
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:26,909
You're President of the Railway
Restoration Society, I believe?
304
00:24:27,015 --> 00:24:30,758
Yeah, Childhood passion of mine,
steam trains.
305
00:24:31,143 --> 00:24:34,110
- Choo- choo.
- So you probably remember this?
306
00:24:36,135 --> 00:24:37,477
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's me.
307
00:24:37,575 --> 00:24:40,739
That's when I was guest
of honor. Your Honor.
308
00:24:41,031 --> 00:24:44,860
There's a clock in the photograph.
What time does it read?
309
00:24:44,967 --> 00:24:46,014
Ten twenty.
310
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:48,486
What does that banner
above your head say?
311
00:24:48,583 --> 00:24:51,267
Railway Restoration Society Dinner,
312
00:24:51,367 --> 00:24:52,611
June...
313
00:24:54,151 --> 00:24:58,275
the 17th... 2004.
314
00:25:02,503 --> 00:25:05,569
Putting your stupid heads together
and deciding to lie under oath.
315
00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:07,581
That's not only perjury,
that's conspiracy to pervert
316
00:25:07,687 --> 00:25:08,636
the course of fucking justice!
317
00:25:08,743 --> 00:25:10,751
All right. Listen, he didn't do it.
318
00:25:10,855 --> 00:25:12,862
Oh, yeah. Right,
and you're Mother Theresa.
319
00:25:12,967 --> 00:25:14,211
I wasn't there.
320
00:25:14,311 --> 00:25:16,799
Dan, are you holding
something back?
321
00:25:16,903 --> 00:25:19,270
You gotta help us out.
We're struggling here.
322
00:25:23,783 --> 00:25:24,928
Tell him.
323
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:26,654
Okay.
324
00:25:27,143 --> 00:25:29,631
- you know Miranda, right?
- The invisible wife?
325
00:25:29,735 --> 00:25:31,164
Sam, please.
326
00:25:31,271 --> 00:25:34,053
Before the story broke
she told me she was pregnant.
327
00:25:34,151 --> 00:25:35,493
and now she's saying
she doesn't want to raise a child
328
00:25:35,591 --> 00:25:36,932
with someone like me.
329
00:25:39,239 --> 00:25:41,061
She means everything to me, mate.
330
00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:44,796
He loves her.
331
00:25:45,863 --> 00:25:50,086
He has even got 'Miranda 4 Ever'
tattooed on his arse.
332
00:25:50,567 --> 00:25:52,356
- Hip.
- Arse.
333
00:25:52,455 --> 00:25:53,884
- Hip.
- Arse.
334
00:25:53,991 --> 00:25:55,136
- Cliff.
- That is your Arse.
335
00:25:55,239 --> 00:25:58,588
Cliff, why don't you go
and get us some coffee?
336
00:25:59,655 --> 00:26:01,662
- Thank you.
- Arse.
337
00:26:02,055 --> 00:26:03,004
Go on, Danny.
338
00:26:04,839 --> 00:26:07,425
Look, when all this crap came out,
339
00:26:07,815 --> 00:26:09,244
she went ballistic.
340
00:26:09,831 --> 00:26:12,515
I tried to say it wasn't me, but with
all the pictures in the papers...
341
00:26:12,615 --> 00:26:14,819
Oh, so that's why you went
along with Cliff's story?
342
00:26:15,591 --> 00:26:18,275
So, Dan, what were you doing
that night?
343
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:21,724
Nothing. I was at home alone
while Miranda was out filming.
344
00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:26,590
what do men look for in a woman?
345
00:26:26,887 --> 00:26:29,854
Delia Smith in the kitchen
and Heidi Fleiss in the bedroom.
346
00:26:30,727 --> 00:26:33,215
I think I'm a bit too Delia
in the bedroom.
347
00:26:33,895 --> 00:26:35,041
Boring.
348
00:26:35,431 --> 00:26:38,398
why doesn't Sam
call me and talk dirty?
349
00:26:39,559 --> 00:26:41,085
Because I'm too ' Alice'?
350
00:26:41,863 --> 00:26:43,587
Or maybe...
351
00:26:43,687 --> 00:26:44,832
Maybe what?
352
00:26:44,935 --> 00:26:48,677
Maybe he did know.
Just playing along.
353
00:26:48,775 --> 00:26:50,204
Do you really think so?
354
00:26:50,983 --> 00:26:52,128
Yeah.
355
00:26:52,999 --> 00:26:55,268
But two can play at that game,
can't they?
356
00:26:57,191 --> 00:26:59,678
' Shag Actually'? That's porn.
357
00:26:59,783 --> 00:27:03,231
It's not porn, darling. It's erotica.
358
00:27:06,599 --> 00:27:08,803
'My Best Friend's Spreading'?
359
00:27:08,903 --> 00:27:13,410
No. I thought you meant sex kitten,
not sex monster.
360
00:27:16,007 --> 00:27:19,269
Hey. Maybe I could watch
a couple of those movies with you?
361
00:27:19,367 --> 00:27:20,894
I get off at six.
362
00:27:20,999 --> 00:27:22,821
Who with, your right hand?
363
00:27:26,471 --> 00:27:27,398
Oh, yeah.
364
00:27:29,511 --> 00:27:30,940
'Butt Detective'?
365
00:27:33,543 --> 00:27:35,365
That's you sorted
for the next few nights.
366
00:27:36,327 --> 00:27:38,716
Bollocks! I'm supposed to
be at Archie's!
367
00:27:39,687 --> 00:27:40,832
Bye.
368
00:28:16,807 --> 00:28:18,629
Hello, Martin
369
00:28:19,398 --> 00:28:21,602
Oh God, I've missed you.
370
00:28:23,335 --> 00:28:25,059
Hello, love- rat.
371
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:35,013
It's all work and no play with Sam.
372
00:28:38,663 --> 00:28:39,907
- Oooh.
- Fuck up.
373
00:28:40,007 --> 00:28:42,593
Careful, that's a hundred
quid bottle of wine.
374
00:28:42,694 --> 00:28:44,517
Pinched it from Sam's 'cellar'.
375
00:28:44,614 --> 00:28:46,524
Here, let me.
376
00:28:58,150 --> 00:29:00,736
One of the more useful things
I learnt at college.
377
00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:03,204
sorry.
378
00:29:04,455 --> 00:29:05,884
- Sorry.
- I'm sorry.
379
00:29:12,039 --> 00:29:13,861
' A Cock On The Lips Now'?
380
00:29:14,822 --> 00:29:16,732
I thought you liked
romantic comedies.
381
00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:18,846
It's research.
382
00:29:19,335 --> 00:29:22,498
A new surgery the practice
want me to run.
383
00:29:22,599 --> 00:29:26,145
How to maintain a healthy sex life
in monogamous relationships.
384
00:29:27,111 --> 00:29:30,755
I hate to tell you this, but I don't
think these reflect reality too much.
385
00:29:31,623 --> 00:29:33,630
Don't forget I Stay Hard All Night.
386
00:29:36,295 --> 00:29:39,644
' I Stay Hard All Night'. I told you
they don't reflect reality.
387
00:29:39,751 --> 00:29:42,052
Oh my God, that's Jenny Clough!
388
00:29:42,631 --> 00:29:44,638
- Who?
- Jenny Clough.
389
00:29:44,742 --> 00:29:46,946
Had a thing about Sam at uni.
390
00:29:47,335 --> 00:29:48,862
Christian fundamentalist.
391
00:29:49,927 --> 00:29:53,669
Oh my God! Let's put it on,
Let's watch it! Come on!
392
00:29:56,167 --> 00:29:57,989
Oh, what's got into you
tonight, hmm?
393
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:00,770
I think you know.
394
00:30:02,982 --> 00:30:06,244
God... it was great, wasn't it?
395
00:30:06,983 --> 00:30:09,950
The whole phone sex thing, hmm?
396
00:30:13,319 --> 00:30:14,846
You had phone sex?
397
00:30:17,830 --> 00:30:19,172
With another woman?
398
00:30:20,039 --> 00:30:21,184
No.
399
00:30:22,823 --> 00:30:23,968
Did I?
400
00:30:24,935 --> 00:30:26,364
But I thought it was you.
401
00:30:26,470 --> 00:30:27,997
Why would it be me?
402
00:30:28,967 --> 00:30:30,112
Who else would it be?
403
00:30:30,214 --> 00:30:32,898
I don't know.
Maybe it was your wife.
404
00:30:35,591 --> 00:30:36,835
Katy.
405
00:30:37,607 --> 00:30:40,257
I think I would have recognized
my own wife, hmm?
406
00:30:41,511 --> 00:30:45,056
Besides, Alice could never be that...
407
00:30:46,119 --> 00:30:47,264
What?
408
00:30:49,670 --> 00:30:50,914
filthy.
409
00:30:58,023 --> 00:30:59,364
Christ.
410
00:31:00,615 --> 00:31:01,957
The blonde?
411
00:31:02,054 --> 00:31:03,298
What?
412
00:31:05,126 --> 00:31:07,231
Such a fantastic painting, Katya.
413
00:31:10,759 --> 00:31:13,923
You can't make me jealous.
I'm immune.
414
00:31:14,215 --> 00:31:17,085
Wives get jealous, not lovers.
415
00:31:18,439 --> 00:31:21,024
Get down on your knees!
416
00:31:23,239 --> 00:31:25,344
You can't get much more
fundamental than that.
417
00:31:25,446 --> 00:31:28,130
She was always going on
about eternal punishment.
418
00:31:31,975 --> 00:31:34,560
Hang on. Wasn't she a vegetarian?
419
00:31:37,447 --> 00:31:40,992
Can blow jobs really get you off
a speeding ticket?
420
00:31:41,287 --> 00:31:42,880
Always worked for me.
421
00:31:45,575 --> 00:31:47,102
Have you done that?
422
00:31:51,718 --> 00:31:53,628
She's a contortionist.
423
00:31:54,023 --> 00:31:56,227
So is he by the looks of things.
424
00:31:56,327 --> 00:31:57,756
Can't you do that?
425
00:31:59,494 --> 00:32:01,599
You're funny. That's funny.
426
00:32:07,078 --> 00:32:08,223
Coffee?
427
00:32:24,039 --> 00:32:26,722
Archie, what turns you on?
428
00:32:27,686 --> 00:32:32,672
I mean generally. What was it about
Beth that really got you going?
429
00:32:35,174 --> 00:32:36,603
That she'd have me?
430
00:32:37,286 --> 00:32:39,293
Did she dominate you
in the bedroom?
431
00:32:39,783 --> 00:32:42,652
Did she dominate me? She
dominated me all over the house.
432
00:32:42,758 --> 00:32:46,468
I'm just trying to... find out
what men look for in a woman.
433
00:32:47,046 --> 00:32:48,290
A pulse?
434
00:32:48,775 --> 00:32:52,703
Actually, there was one time...
that Beth phoned me
435
00:32:52,806 --> 00:32:54,814
in the middle of the day,
and I was at work...
436
00:32:54,918 --> 00:32:59,228
and she told me that she wasn't
wearing any knickers.
437
00:32:59,335 --> 00:33:02,401
And that evening
we went out for dinner...
438
00:33:02,502 --> 00:33:05,666
and you know,
knowing that we both knew it.
439
00:33:06,535 --> 00:33:09,983
And I was wearing a pair of
very tight jeans.
440
00:33:10,086 --> 00:33:12,475
And I couldn't walk.
441
00:33:19,463 --> 00:33:22,332
You know what they say
about the perfect woman?
442
00:33:22,439 --> 00:33:26,181
A blind nymphomaniac heiress
who lives above a pub.
443
00:33:26,279 --> 00:33:29,246
With big tits, obviously.
444
00:33:31,943 --> 00:33:33,765
What would I do without you?
445
00:33:47,399 --> 00:33:48,544
Flic.
446
00:33:49,702 --> 00:33:52,157
I think I've been going about
this the wrong way.
447
00:33:53,415 --> 00:33:56,000
Are you listening? Flic?
448
00:33:58,790 --> 00:34:00,994
Darling, could we talk about
this tomorrow?
449
00:34:17,415 --> 00:34:19,619
Darling, I'm really swamped here.
450
00:34:29,191 --> 00:34:31,296
Please. Please, no.
451
00:34:32,742 --> 00:34:34,847
You didn't even notice the outfit.
452
00:34:35,911 --> 00:34:37,536
That thing Flic gave you?
453
00:34:38,214 --> 00:34:39,741
I thought you said it was itchy?
454
00:34:43,495 --> 00:34:46,080
Sam, I'm afraid.
455
00:34:50,599 --> 00:34:52,900
Come here, silly.
456
00:34:55,942 --> 00:34:58,146
I'm just a bit snowed under
right now, yeah?
457
00:35:06,887 --> 00:35:09,375
So what about that fancy pad you
two bought? Where was it?
458
00:35:09,478 --> 00:35:11,005
I'm getting rid of it.
459
00:35:11,110 --> 00:35:13,980
Are you crazy? Must have loads
of pulling power.
460
00:35:14,086 --> 00:35:15,613
You would know
if you'd ever bothered
461
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,245
to come round and have a look.
462
00:35:17,926 --> 00:35:19,268
You've got to romance them.
463
00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:21,856
Flowers. Take them for dinner.
464
00:35:22,535 --> 00:35:24,258
Women like surprises.
465
00:35:24,359 --> 00:35:25,984
Oh, shit, fuck, bollocks!
466
00:35:26,087 --> 00:35:27,101
You all right, mate?
467
00:35:27,591 --> 00:35:30,176
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
No, I'm fine. I'm fine.
468
00:35:35,750 --> 00:35:39,776
So, um... when was the last time
you surprised Alice?
469
00:35:40,071 --> 00:35:42,558
That's different. We're married.
470
00:35:42,662 --> 00:35:44,189
You know what they say
about married women.
471
00:35:44,294 --> 00:35:46,498
They're always fantasying
about other men.
472
00:35:46,599 --> 00:35:48,224
And what's that supposed
to mean?
473
00:35:48,326 --> 00:35:50,530
Nothing. Doesn't mean anything.
I'm just saying.
474
00:35:50,631 --> 00:35:51,776
Hey...
475
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:57,825
You may have seen her first,
but I asked her out. Remember?
476
00:35:58,182 --> 00:36:00,189
- Hi.
- Hi, darling.
477
00:36:00,774 --> 00:36:01,919
Hi.
478
00:36:02,503 --> 00:36:06,048
- Ooh. What have you done?
- Oh, it's nothing. It's just a...
479
00:36:06,151 --> 00:36:07,492
Inside.
480
00:36:07,590 --> 00:36:08,735
Now.
481
00:36:17,382 --> 00:36:18,811
Do you remember
when we were students
482
00:36:18,918 --> 00:36:21,307
and we went to that karaoke party?
483
00:36:21,798 --> 00:36:24,100
We both got so drunk
we ended up saying
484
00:36:24,198 --> 00:36:26,980
we were gonna go to Japan
and climb Mount Fuji.
485
00:36:27,078 --> 00:36:30,493
Japan. We were going
everywhere that night.
486
00:36:30,599 --> 00:36:33,468
Yeah. Well, guess what?
487
00:36:33,862 --> 00:36:35,684
I've been asked to go to Japan.
488
00:36:39,814 --> 00:36:41,537
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
489
00:36:43,174 --> 00:36:45,957
It's a new law firm in Tokyo.
490
00:36:46,919 --> 00:36:48,064
Partner.
491
00:36:51,814 --> 00:36:53,341
We'd really miss you.
492
00:37:04,455 --> 00:37:07,324
- No, No, No, No, no...
- No, listen, I've been thinking.
493
00:37:07,430 --> 00:37:09,154
He obviously knows
Anonymous is me,
494
00:37:09,255 --> 00:37:11,077
just doesn't want to break the spell.
495
00:37:11,175 --> 00:37:13,476
secret meeting could be exciting.
496
00:37:13,574 --> 00:37:14,818
Exciting?
497
00:37:14,919 --> 00:37:16,741
I'm going to blind fold him.
498
00:37:16,839 --> 00:37:19,522
Alice, I really don't think
you've thought this through.
499
00:37:19,622 --> 00:37:21,149
Flic, I have.
500
00:37:21,254 --> 00:37:23,076
Why can't you be
a bit more supportive?
501
00:37:23,174 --> 00:37:25,760
Because I don't want to see
you fuck up your marriage.
502
00:37:25,862 --> 00:37:27,967
And, of course, fucking up
marriages isn't something
503
00:37:28,070 --> 00:37:29,117
you'd know anything about?
504
00:37:29,222 --> 00:37:32,767
Yeah, well. At least none of
my men are lying to me.
505
00:38:27,238 --> 00:38:30,686
My rat! How romantic.
506
00:38:39,686 --> 00:38:44,388
Hey. If I don't get hold of you soon
I might have to do some DIY.
507
00:38:45,638 --> 00:38:47,460
You're like dog on heat.
508
00:38:57,158 --> 00:38:58,303
What is it?
509
00:38:59,174 --> 00:39:00,603
That woman again?
510
00:39:01,382 --> 00:39:02,626
Yes.
511
00:39:04,742 --> 00:39:06,171
She sent me a note.
512
00:39:09,062 --> 00:39:10,469
Wants to meet tonight.
513
00:39:12,006 --> 00:39:13,151
Give.
514
00:39:13,926 --> 00:39:15,268
I threw it away.
515
00:39:26,214 --> 00:39:27,556
Expensive perfume.
516
00:39:28,326 --> 00:39:30,715
- Are you going?
- Of course not.
517
00:39:32,934 --> 00:39:34,560
What do you take me for?
518
00:39:34,854 --> 00:39:36,577
A cheating love-rat.
519
00:39:39,078 --> 00:39:41,663
Your cheating love-rat.
520
00:39:50,854 --> 00:39:53,243
You're so cute when you're scared.
521
00:39:53,350 --> 00:39:56,034
You know what I don't own you.
522
00:39:56,134 --> 00:39:57,378
It's your life.
523
00:39:58,918 --> 00:40:00,347
you want to go, you go.
524
00:40:00,454 --> 00:40:02,658
I'm not going. Okay?
525
00:40:33,254 --> 00:40:34,301
Hello.
526
00:40:34,406 --> 00:40:35,932
Just tell me where.
527
00:40:36,806 --> 00:40:38,148
I'll text you.
528
00:40:47,622 --> 00:40:49,727
Alice! Come in.
529
00:40:51,750 --> 00:40:53,473
Archie, I need a favor.
530
00:40:53,958 --> 00:40:55,005
big favor.
531
00:40:55,110 --> 00:40:56,539
Sure, whatever.
Do you want a drink?
532
00:40:56,646 --> 00:40:57,791
No.
533
00:40:58,662 --> 00:41:01,444
You know that flat you
and Beth bought?
534
00:41:01,830 --> 00:41:03,357
It's back on the market.
535
00:41:03,462 --> 00:41:07,968
I know. It's just this friend
of mine from... work...
536
00:41:08,262 --> 00:41:10,269
she needs somewhere
to meet this guy.
537
00:41:10,566 --> 00:41:12,290
What, do you mean like an affair?
538
00:41:13,638 --> 00:41:14,783
Kind of.
539
00:41:17,190 --> 00:41:18,303
What's her name?
540
00:41:18,406 --> 00:41:19,835
Anonym...
541
00:41:19,942 --> 00:41:21,087
...Bella.
542
00:41:21,766 --> 00:41:22,714
Anonabella?
543
00:41:22,822 --> 00:41:26,651
She's South African
We just call her Bella.
544
00:41:27,142 --> 00:41:28,091
Right.
545
00:41:28,198 --> 00:41:29,442
Can she not use your place?
546
00:41:29,542 --> 00:41:31,549
No, No.
547
00:41:31,654 --> 00:41:33,476
Sam wouldn't approve.
548
00:41:34,918 --> 00:41:36,445
Sam doesn't know?
549
00:41:38,566 --> 00:41:39,995
Promise not to tell him.
550
00:41:40,102 --> 00:41:43,844
What's to tell? It's not like I've
ever met this 'Anonabella', is it?
551
00:41:44,998 --> 00:41:46,143
No.
552
00:41:46,630 --> 00:41:50,525
You'd have remembered her.
She's very... sexy.
553
00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:56,194
I've always thought so.
554
00:42:01,094 --> 00:42:02,621
Are you sure you don't mind?
555
00:42:05,030 --> 00:42:06,274
Are you sure?
556
00:42:23,142 --> 00:42:24,287
Just work.
557
00:42:35,046 --> 00:42:36,573
This is my last favor, I promise.
558
00:42:36,678 --> 00:42:39,263
Alice, I don't want any more
to do with it, okay?
559
00:42:41,094 --> 00:42:42,436
It's shopping.
560
00:42:45,798 --> 00:42:46,943
I'll get my coat.
561
00:43:33,734 --> 00:43:35,741
Thanks, Flic. You're great.
562
00:43:36,326 --> 00:43:37,853
Are you sure you want to do this?
563
00:43:37,958 --> 00:43:40,260
It's gonna work. I know it is.
564
00:43:44,006 --> 00:43:46,308
Now, there's just one more thing.
565
00:43:47,942 --> 00:43:49,087
Hi there.
566
00:43:50,054 --> 00:43:51,298
Go on.
567
00:43:51,398 --> 00:43:52,827
she wants a Brazilian.
568
00:44:43,174 --> 00:44:44,897
Get on your knees.
569
00:44:46,150 --> 00:44:49,412
Get down on your knees.
570
00:45:02,822 --> 00:45:04,066
Bastard.
571
00:45:52,277 --> 00:45:55,822
- Why The blindfold?
- It's part of the game.
572
00:45:55,925 --> 00:45:59,089
- Don't you want to play?
- Of course.
573
00:45:59,957 --> 00:46:01,200
No.
574
00:46:46,645 --> 00:46:48,750
I feel so excited.
575
00:46:52,213 --> 00:46:54,035
Get on your knees.
576
00:46:59,605 --> 00:47:01,514
Touch me.
577
00:47:08,149 --> 00:47:11,761
You looked amazing in court today.
578
00:47:31,156 --> 00:47:32,302
Hello?
579
00:47:36,821 --> 00:47:38,446
Anonymous.
580
00:47:42,453 --> 00:47:44,558
You stay away from my man.
581
00:47:45,141 --> 00:47:48,207
With your sleazy letters
and your flashy perfume.
582
00:47:48,501 --> 00:47:50,126
You're nothing to him.
583
00:47:50,517 --> 00:47:51,564
He's mine.
584
00:47:51,957 --> 00:47:54,543
Okay? Bitch!
585
00:47:55,317 --> 00:47:57,520
Once more and I'll fucking kill you!
586
00:48:36,661 --> 00:48:38,766
My friend says thank you.
587
00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:40,686
Come in.
588
00:48:43,957 --> 00:48:45,550
Sam's having an affair.
589
00:48:46,036 --> 00:48:47,280
Sam is?
590
00:48:49,205 --> 00:48:50,928
Are you sure?
591
00:48:51,221 --> 00:48:53,425
She made it perfectly clear.
592
00:48:54,197 --> 00:48:56,019
I don't know what to say, I mean...
593
00:48:56,596 --> 00:48:59,182
How could he do that?
How could he...?
594
00:48:59,285 --> 00:49:00,146
I'm gonna call him right now.
595
00:49:00,245 --> 00:49:02,252
No, please, Archie,
don't say anything.
596
00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:04,745
I just need to deal with this
in my own way.
597
00:49:06,581 --> 00:49:08,304
- Maybe it's my fault.
- Don't say that.
598
00:49:08,405 --> 00:49:11,187
Don't say that, it's not your fault.
599
00:49:12,820 --> 00:49:14,162
What am I gonna do?
600
00:49:14,740 --> 00:49:16,748
I don't want to lose my marriage.
601
00:49:17,205 --> 00:49:19,027
Look, I know this...
602
00:49:19,605 --> 00:49:21,710
sometimes men, they can...
603
00:49:21,812 --> 00:49:25,457
they can separate sex and,
and love. They can.
604
00:49:25,557 --> 00:49:26,985
That's comforting.
605
00:49:27,477 --> 00:49:29,102
He does love you.
606
00:49:31,029 --> 00:49:32,938
Yesterday I would have
believed that.
607
00:49:33,428 --> 00:49:35,152
He obviously doesn't find me
attractive any more.
608
00:49:35,252 --> 00:49:37,740
I mean, God, when I think about it...
609
00:49:37,845 --> 00:49:40,812
I mean where has he really been
all those times?
610
00:49:41,493 --> 00:49:44,460
nights in chambers,
dinners with clients.
611
00:49:45,525 --> 00:49:47,150
I feel so...
612
00:49:48,021 --> 00:49:49,996
What right has he got?
613
00:49:53,077 --> 00:49:55,084
What's she got that I haven't?
614
00:49:56,628 --> 00:49:57,774
Well?
615
00:50:03,444 --> 00:50:06,892
Don't be silly.
Alice, don't be silly.
616
00:50:06,997 --> 00:50:08,338
You...
617
00:50:09,108 --> 00:50:10,832
are gorgeous.
618
00:50:11,220 --> 00:50:14,569
Really, really gorgeous.
619
00:50:15,060 --> 00:50:16,882
Then why doesn't he want me?
620
00:50:18,613 --> 00:50:20,435
Because he's stupid.
621
00:50:41,044 --> 00:50:42,288
Oh God.
622
00:50:43,156 --> 00:50:44,301
Sorry.
623
00:50:50,644 --> 00:50:52,171
She was all...
624
00:50:52,756 --> 00:50:57,229
tall and sexy and exotic.
625
00:50:57,812 --> 00:50:59,241
Russian or something.
626
00:50:59,349 --> 00:51:02,993
- God. Don't you just hate that?
- And a bit painty.
627
00:51:03,476 --> 00:51:04,818
- Painty?
- I don't know.
628
00:51:04,917 --> 00:51:07,022
Maybe she was a decorator
or something.
629
00:51:09,045 --> 00:51:10,571
You know the worst thing?
630
00:51:11,252 --> 00:51:15,954
There was Sam... on his knees
in front of me, and there was this...
631
00:51:17,493 --> 00:51:19,118
I can't describe it.
632
00:51:20,085 --> 00:51:21,808
Intense desire.
633
00:51:23,732 --> 00:51:25,904
He used to feel that way about me.
634
00:51:28,117 --> 00:51:30,899
It's not there any more, unless
he thinks I'm someone else.
635
00:51:32,341 --> 00:51:33,682
Look...
636
00:51:34,165 --> 00:51:36,554
maybe you should think
about getting out.
637
00:51:36,853 --> 00:51:41,359
I hate to say this, but if he's having
an affair, men like that don't change.
638
00:51:43,669 --> 00:51:45,676
And I kissed Archie.
639
00:51:45,972 --> 00:51:47,118
What?
640
00:51:47,892 --> 00:51:50,478
- Tongues?
- Flic, It was everything
641
00:51:50,868 --> 00:51:54,130
Tongues, lips, hands.
642
00:51:54,708 --> 00:51:56,050
What have I done?
643
00:51:56,980 --> 00:52:00,046
I mean, Archie's the last person
in the world I'd want to hurt.
644
00:52:00,341 --> 00:52:03,886
Doesn't sound very painful to me.
Sounds rather scrumptious.
645
00:52:03,989 --> 00:52:05,712
That was the point.
646
00:52:05,813 --> 00:52:07,242
It was so...
647
00:52:08,021 --> 00:52:09,265
Anyway...
648
00:52:09,749 --> 00:52:11,375
it wasn't me that kissed him.
649
00:52:12,340 --> 00:52:13,682
It was Anonymous.
650
00:52:14,453 --> 00:52:15,598
Right.
651
00:53:11,604 --> 00:53:13,131
Morning, Sam.
652
00:53:16,789 --> 00:53:17,934
All right, Archie?
653
00:53:19,284 --> 00:53:21,106
Hey, who pissed in your porridge?
654
00:53:22,741 --> 00:53:26,286
Mr. Webb, can I conclude that
what you're saying is that
655
00:53:26,389 --> 00:53:28,593
these pictures have been
digitally enhanced?
656
00:53:28,692 --> 00:53:30,994
Yes, certain minor elements
of the picture have been enhanced...
657
00:53:31,093 --> 00:53:33,460
A simple yes or no will suffice.
658
00:53:33,557 --> 00:53:36,426
So according to Mr. Webb here,
659
00:53:36,532 --> 00:53:38,736
we can no longer assume
that these pictures...
660
00:53:38,836 --> 00:53:42,185
that the defendants claim were
taken on the night in question...
661
00:53:42,292 --> 00:53:46,221
relate in any way to the events
they supposedly portray.
662
00:53:47,861 --> 00:53:49,105
Mr. Webb.
663
00:53:49,396 --> 00:53:51,119
Could you outline for us exactly
664
00:53:51,220 --> 00:53:53,522
where you have identified
digital enhancement?
665
00:53:53,621 --> 00:53:56,882
Well, a couple of them have been
flipped to improve the composition.
666
00:53:56,980 --> 00:53:59,369
The most noticeable change is...
667
00:53:59,668 --> 00:54:01,970
here. Just at the edge.
668
00:54:02,452 --> 00:54:04,275
The bedside lamp has been removed.
669
00:54:04,372 --> 00:54:06,642
The most significant change,
you say?
670
00:54:06,740 --> 00:54:08,169
And have you been
able to identify
671
00:54:08,277 --> 00:54:11,343
any alterations to the persons
in the photographs?
672
00:54:13,556 --> 00:54:16,338
No. Not really.
673
00:54:16,436 --> 00:54:18,062
in fact.
674
00:54:18,164 --> 00:54:21,132
None. Thank you, Mr. Webb.
675
00:54:21,525 --> 00:54:24,013
Great, I'm being hung out to dry here
and I'm getting nothing from you.
676
00:54:24,116 --> 00:54:25,938
Sam, don't start on me, okay?
677
00:54:26,036 --> 00:54:28,043
Look, let's face it,
we're stuffed already.
678
00:54:28,148 --> 00:54:29,871
So unless you can come up
with something very quickly,
679
00:54:29,972 --> 00:54:31,117
I'm putting Dan on the stand.
680
00:54:31,221 --> 00:54:32,169
And where's that gonna get us?
681
00:54:32,277 --> 00:54:36,303
Sympathy. It's damage
limitation time for me.
682
00:54:40,020 --> 00:54:41,362
I've got it!
683
00:54:41,460 --> 00:54:42,704
I'm gonna win him back.
684
00:54:43,093 --> 00:54:43,758
What?
685
00:54:43,860 --> 00:54:46,729
No, don't you see? When Sam
finds out I'm Anonymous...
686
00:54:46,837 --> 00:54:50,186
he's gonna have a wife
and a mistress in one.
687
00:54:50,292 --> 00:54:52,114
He's never gonna
wanna stray again.
688
00:54:54,709 --> 00:54:56,235
Sorry, Dan.
689
00:54:57,493 --> 00:54:58,737
You're stuffed.
690
00:55:10,996 --> 00:55:12,141
Wait a minute.
691
00:55:13,876 --> 00:55:16,843
Hip, arse, hip, arse...
692
00:55:22,805 --> 00:55:23,852
What do you want?
693
00:55:23,956 --> 00:55:25,298
I have to see you.
694
00:55:25,781 --> 00:55:27,122
I'll text you.
695
00:55:38,069 --> 00:55:40,458
Come on. Come on.
696
00:55:40,564 --> 00:55:43,412
There must be. There must be.
697
00:55:46,484 --> 00:55:48,873
Yes. Yes!
698
00:55:57,236 --> 00:55:59,440
Alice. Hi.
699
00:56:01,365 --> 00:56:02,990
About last night.
700
00:56:04,724 --> 00:56:05,772
I'm sorry.
701
00:56:05,876 --> 00:56:08,364
I was, you know,
I should never have...
702
00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:09,995
with you being so upset about...
703
00:56:10,101 --> 00:56:11,923
You don't have to apologize.
704
00:56:12,021 --> 00:56:13,428
I knew you were just trying
to make me feel...
705
00:56:13,524 --> 00:56:17,267
Yeah, I know, but I was completely
out of order and I'm...
706
00:56:17,940 --> 00:56:19,085
so sorry.
707
00:56:19,860 --> 00:56:21,005
Me, too.
708
00:56:24,564 --> 00:56:28,492
Archie, I couldn't borrow
that key again, could I?
709
00:56:29,076 --> 00:56:30,702
For my friend.
710
00:56:32,437 --> 00:56:34,924
Alice, you don't have to lie to me.
711
00:56:35,028 --> 00:56:36,751
Sauce for the goose, right?
712
00:56:37,044 --> 00:56:38,571
I didn't say that.
713
00:56:40,020 --> 00:56:43,664
But you're still gonna sneak off
for some pathetic little fuck...
714
00:56:43,764 --> 00:56:47,659
with some fuck knows who in dear
old Archie's fucking apartment!
715
00:56:50,740 --> 00:56:51,984
Look, look...
716
00:56:52,085 --> 00:56:56,591
if Sam really loves you
and you really love him...
717
00:56:56,693 --> 00:57:00,042
then stop pissing about
and be with him! stay with him!
718
00:57:00,148 --> 00:57:02,253
But, if you don't, then just...
719
00:57:02,356 --> 00:57:03,981
Archie, please.
720
00:57:04,084 --> 00:57:05,229
No.
721
00:57:06,868 --> 00:57:08,013
No...
722
00:57:10,420 --> 00:57:11,947
I've had enough.
723
00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:53,744
For you...
724
00:57:54,612 --> 00:57:55,757
sex bomb.
725
00:57:56,628 --> 00:57:57,872
Love-rat.
726
00:57:58,164 --> 00:57:59,506
How sweet.
727
00:58:05,460 --> 00:58:07,369
Bastard. Fucking bastard!
728
00:58:07,477 --> 00:58:09,200
Low-life fucking bag of shit!
729
00:58:09,300 --> 00:58:10,827
- What have I done?
- What have you done?
730
00:58:10,932 --> 00:58:13,518
You saw her.
You saw Anonymous.
731
00:58:14,100 --> 00:58:16,304
Katya, darling, I wouldn't even...
732
00:58:16,404 --> 00:58:18,226
You liar. I followed you.
733
00:58:18,324 --> 00:58:21,641
I saw you go in and ten minutes
later I saw her come out.
734
00:58:21,748 --> 00:58:23,853
- you saw her?
- Yes.
735
00:58:25,204 --> 00:58:26,633
What did she look like?
736
00:58:27,412 --> 00:58:29,234
What did she look like?
737
00:58:29,332 --> 00:58:31,339
You nasty little rodent.
738
00:58:31,636 --> 00:58:35,858
Hey, come on. What could I have
done in ten minutes?
739
00:58:35,956 --> 00:58:37,866
Fuck her ten times!
740
00:58:41,812 --> 00:58:43,056
Go away.
741
00:58:43,156 --> 00:58:44,301
Fuck off
742
00:58:44,884 --> 00:58:47,186
Go and don't come
743
00:58:47,284 --> 00:58:49,194
- You don't mean that.
- I mean it!
744
00:58:49,300 --> 00:58:52,082
Katy. Sweetheart.
745
00:58:52,532 --> 00:58:54,158
I'd be lost without you.
746
00:58:55,796 --> 00:58:58,479
And whose bum am I gonna bite
if not yours?
747
00:59:00,404 --> 00:59:03,087
The truth, right?
748
00:59:04,436 --> 00:59:09,040
Yeah, I did see her, but for
ten minutes. And you know why?
749
00:59:09,140 --> 00:59:10,285
Why?
750
00:59:10,868 --> 00:59:12,592
Because that's how long...
751
00:59:13,268 --> 00:59:14,794
it took to tell her...
752
00:59:15,860 --> 00:59:18,348
exactly what I thought
about being stalked.
753
00:59:19,028 --> 00:59:20,173
Stalked?
754
00:59:22,292 --> 00:59:23,437
Oh, yeah.
755
00:59:24,468 --> 00:59:26,378
She's a friggin' looney.
756
00:59:30,516 --> 00:59:32,142
Are you lying to me?
757
00:59:35,412 --> 00:59:36,754
You know what I wish?
758
00:59:37,428 --> 00:59:39,435
I wish it could be just the two of us.
759
00:59:39,732 --> 00:59:42,515
No Alice, no stalker,
760
00:59:42,612 --> 00:59:43,856
just you and me.
761
00:59:44,628 --> 00:59:46,832
Don't you think
I don't want that too, huh?
762
00:59:56,404 --> 01:00:01,587
Listen. This case will be over soon.
And when it is...
763
01:00:02,356 --> 01:00:04,178
big surprise coming your way.
764
01:00:04,660 --> 01:00:05,805
Promise.
765
01:00:11,573 --> 01:00:12,914
All rise.
766
01:00:19,732 --> 01:00:22,514
M' Lud, may I approach the bench?
767
01:00:27,220 --> 01:00:29,871
Your Honor, I must
deeply apologize,
768
01:00:29,972 --> 01:00:34,379
but it seems neither my client...
nor my solicitor have yet arrived.
769
01:00:34,580 --> 01:00:37,449
And with your permission,
may I request a brief adjournment...
770
01:00:37,556 --> 01:00:39,760
as I attempt to locate
their whereabouts?
771
01:00:39,860 --> 01:00:42,032
Sam. Sam.
772
01:00:43,700 --> 01:00:45,326
I'm putting Dan on the stand.
773
01:00:45,428 --> 01:00:47,250
no, no, you don't understand.
Sam, this isn't Dan.
774
01:00:47,348 --> 01:00:49,737
As you can see, Your Honor,
they have arrived.
775
01:00:50,036 --> 01:00:54,444
Now may I request your permission
to call Daniel Harlow to the stand?
776
01:00:54,548 --> 01:00:55,693
Sorry I'm late.
777
01:01:05,748 --> 01:01:07,657
Well, bugger me backwards!
778
01:01:09,300 --> 01:01:11,886
Don't be stupid, it weren't Danny
in he photographs,
779
01:01:11,988 --> 01:01:14,093
it was a bloody look a like,
weren't it?
780
01:01:14,196 --> 01:01:16,585
You bastard! Sorry, Dan, sorry.
781
01:01:16,692 --> 01:01:18,994
You bastard! You've cost me
money, you have.
782
01:01:20,436 --> 01:01:22,062
Well, you could have come
forward sooner.
783
01:01:22,164 --> 01:01:24,073
I know, I know, man,
but you know
784
01:01:24,724 --> 01:01:26,961
don't want the wife finding out now, did I?
Do you know what I mean?
785
01:01:27,059 --> 01:01:30,223
But as soon as your man came
forward and told me about your bird...
786
01:01:30,899 --> 01:01:32,492
figured I'd better come clean.
787
01:01:32,788 --> 01:01:35,177
So how did you do it?
788
01:01:35,444 --> 01:01:37,386
The photograph had been
flipped, right?
789
01:01:37,492 --> 01:01:40,078
So actually it was his left hip
that was showing.
790
01:01:40,180 --> 01:01:42,569
Left hip, but no tattoo.
791
01:01:42,676 --> 01:01:44,301
Archie, you're good.
792
01:01:44,404 --> 01:01:46,509
Don't give me that. You were
gonna put him on the stand,
793
01:01:46,676 --> 01:01:48,236
and we made him a promise.
794
01:01:48,340 --> 01:01:49,485
I didn't.
795
01:01:50,260 --> 01:01:52,561
Bollocks. Listen, Archie,
I've got a lunch.
796
01:01:52,660 --> 01:01:55,726
Actually, I need you to go over
some of my notes with me, please.
797
01:01:55,828 --> 01:01:58,511
I win the case, you do
the paperwork, huh?
798
01:01:58,612 --> 01:02:00,521
Besides, my head's somewhere
else right now.
799
01:02:00,628 --> 01:02:03,017
Yeah, up your arse.
800
01:02:14,036 --> 01:02:15,946
Oh, Sam
801
01:03:38,740 --> 01:03:39,983
Who are...?
802
01:03:42,740 --> 01:03:45,707
Remember this.
803
01:05:03,412 --> 01:05:07,820
I never thought letting go
completely could be so amazing.
804
01:05:11,284 --> 01:05:13,488
I'll do anything for you.
805
01:05:14,260 --> 01:05:17,107
Anything at all.
806
01:05:17,780 --> 01:05:19,885
Take off your blindfold.
807
01:05:19,987 --> 01:05:21,613
No, wait.
808
01:05:22,484 --> 01:05:25,167
I want this feeling to last.
809
01:05:26,228 --> 01:05:28,050
I want you to see who I am.
810
01:05:28,148 --> 01:05:30,930
No, listen.
811
01:05:31,028 --> 01:05:34,192
I've never set eyes on you
but I know...
812
01:05:35,540 --> 01:05:37,166
I'm in love with you.
813
01:05:39,764 --> 01:05:43,593
I mean, God, I've said
that a million times before but...
814
01:05:43,700 --> 01:05:46,766
suddenly I realize I've never
really meant it.
815
01:05:47,444 --> 01:05:49,037
It's never been like this.
816
01:05:50,003 --> 01:05:54,510
Not with Katya. She's just sex.
817
01:05:55,284 --> 01:05:56,528
And Alice...
818
01:05:56,916 --> 01:05:58,061
Yes?
819
01:05:59,988 --> 01:06:01,515
Alice...
820
01:06:02,004 --> 01:06:04,786
is nothing compared to you.
821
01:06:34,132 --> 01:06:35,277
Hello?
822
01:06:38,548 --> 01:06:39,693
Bollocks!
823
01:07:01,459 --> 01:07:02,986
Couldn't stay away?
824
01:07:12,019 --> 01:07:13,361
Put it on.
825
01:07:27,731 --> 01:07:28,975
Love-rat.
826
01:07:32,052 --> 01:07:34,354
- Fuck!
- Come on, love-rat.
827
01:07:34,451 --> 01:07:35,596
Take me.
828
01:07:39,347 --> 01:07:40,776
Yes?
829
01:07:41,363 --> 01:07:42,989
No, it's wrong number.
830
01:07:43,764 --> 01:07:46,546
No, it's not Sam's... Phone.
831
01:07:51,059 --> 01:07:53,547
Sam, what's going on?
832
01:07:53,651 --> 01:07:55,375
I'm gonna kill that slut!
833
01:07:56,979 --> 01:07:59,849
I'm going to nail your scrotum
to the ceiling!
834
01:07:59,955 --> 01:08:01,865
Open the door!
835
01:08:06,292 --> 01:08:09,739
Cleaning lady. Come here.
Open the door.
836
01:08:10,708 --> 01:08:14,450
What? Stop staring at me.
Open the fucking door!
837
01:08:25,300 --> 01:08:27,122
Oh, come on!
838
01:09:03,059 --> 01:09:04,685
Anonymous.
839
01:09:32,596 --> 01:09:38,346
We award the plaintiff the sum
of one million pounds.
840
01:09:40,467 --> 01:09:42,191
Yes! Go Lazio!
841
01:09:42,291 --> 01:09:43,436
Order!
842
01:09:46,900 --> 01:09:48,045
Order!
843
01:09:49,395 --> 01:09:51,118
- Mr. Sharpe.
- Yes.
844
01:09:51,219 --> 01:09:55,245
This case may be over, but there is
another matter outstanding.
845
01:09:55,731 --> 01:09:57,073
Arrest this man for perjury.
846
01:09:57,172 --> 01:09:59,376
- Oh, fuck off!
- And contempt.
847
01:09:59,475 --> 01:10:01,002
What? Bollocks!
848
01:10:01,108 --> 01:10:03,409
And resisting arrest.
849
01:10:04,723 --> 01:10:05,868
See you in court!
850
01:10:15,764 --> 01:10:17,771
I'll be making a statement
in a moment.
851
01:10:19,604 --> 01:10:21,993
I did it, Archie. I did it.
852
01:10:22,099 --> 01:10:24,107
Yeah, that's right, you did it,
you won.
853
01:10:24,211 --> 01:10:27,855
Yes. This is the most perfect day
of my life.
854
01:10:28,532 --> 01:10:31,401
And that is the perfect woman.
855
01:10:31,507 --> 01:10:32,653
Sam...
856
01:10:33,523 --> 01:10:35,727
you married the perfect woman.
857
01:10:53,459 --> 01:10:56,808
Footballer Dan Harlow has had
a great result in court today.
858
01:10:56,915 --> 01:10:59,217
His barrister, Sam Holbrook,
looks in the set to become
859
01:10:59,316 --> 01:11:01,323
a major player
in the Premier League.
860
01:11:01,428 --> 01:11:03,631
These monstrous lies
861
01:11:03,731 --> 01:11:06,698
could have wrecked
a talented young man's marriage.
862
01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:11,277
Lies are the cancer in our society.
863
01:11:11,379 --> 01:11:15,689
And it is our job... no, our duty...
864
01:11:15,795 --> 01:11:18,762
to expose them in every walk of life.
865
01:11:18,868 --> 01:11:21,072
The Holbrook Home
for Compulsive Liars.
866
01:11:21,652 --> 01:11:22,896
Thank you.
867
01:11:24,724 --> 01:11:28,466
No, double glazing isn't
a big priority for me right now.
868
01:11:57,811 --> 01:11:58,957
Alice?
869
01:12:05,779 --> 01:12:07,121
Alice?
870
01:12:08,851 --> 01:12:10,095
You okay?
871
01:12:16,212 --> 01:12:17,455
It's me.
872
01:12:21,683 --> 01:12:22,828
Alice?
873
01:12:27,923 --> 01:12:28,872
Katya.
874
01:12:29,843 --> 01:12:32,713
Where...?
What are you doing here?
875
01:12:36,083 --> 01:12:37,905
Did you do this?
876
01:12:38,579 --> 01:12:39,921
Where's Alice?
877
01:12:40,499 --> 01:12:43,281
Where... is Alice?
878
01:12:44,019 --> 01:12:45,361
Have you lost your mind?
879
01:12:45,459 --> 01:12:47,085
I'm telling her about us.
880
01:12:47,475 --> 01:12:49,002
And Anonymous.
881
01:12:54,099 --> 01:12:55,244
Darling.
882
01:12:55,443 --> 01:12:57,265
What did you call her?
883
01:12:58,803 --> 01:13:02,448
Katya... my wife, Alice.
884
01:13:02,548 --> 01:13:05,897
Alice, Katya. Junior clerk.
885
01:13:07,539 --> 01:13:08,303
Hello.
886
01:13:08,403 --> 01:13:10,509
I'm not a junior clerk.
887
01:13:10,611 --> 01:13:14,441
And she's not your wife.
She is Anonymous.
888
01:13:16,147 --> 01:13:17,870
I want to see Alice.
889
01:13:20,084 --> 01:13:21,709
You've just been introduced.
890
01:13:22,483 --> 01:13:24,588
She's Anonymous, I saw her.
891
01:13:24,691 --> 01:13:26,600
Now you're just being ridiculous.
892
01:13:27,571 --> 01:13:28,815
Darling?
893
01:13:32,275 --> 01:13:33,617
Remember this?
894
01:13:48,947 --> 01:13:50,289
Darling?
895
01:13:56,147 --> 01:13:57,292
Sorry.
896
01:14:01,716 --> 01:14:02,959
Really I am.
897
01:14:19,187 --> 01:14:20,594
I had no idea.
898
01:14:22,132 --> 01:14:23,375
It was all so...
899
01:14:23,475 --> 01:14:24,522
Exciting.
900
01:14:25,972 --> 01:14:27,215
Dangerous.
901
01:14:27,987 --> 01:14:29,231
Dirty.
902
01:14:30,963 --> 01:14:32,207
Sexy.
903
01:14:33,555 --> 01:14:34,700
Yeah.
904
01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:36,908
It was.
905
01:14:37,875 --> 01:14:40,177
- you were...
- I was cheated on.
906
01:14:40,275 --> 01:14:42,576
You couldn't give a shit,
could you?
907
01:14:42,675 --> 01:14:44,682
It doesn't matter who you shag.
908
01:14:45,267 --> 01:14:47,275
You even cheated on
your mistress.
909
01:14:47,955 --> 01:14:50,159
What kind of bastard does
that make you, Sam?
910
01:14:50,835 --> 01:14:51,849
But...
911
01:14:52,915 --> 01:14:55,882
now we've found each other again.
912
01:14:55,987 --> 01:14:57,809
You don't get it at all, do you?
913
01:14:58,291 --> 01:15:00,201
I found you ages ago.
914
01:15:00,691 --> 01:15:03,374
You only found me
when you were cheating on me.
915
01:15:05,011 --> 01:15:06,538
What does that make me?
916
01:15:10,291 --> 01:15:12,974
I fought to stay with you, Sam,
because I loved you.
917
01:15:15,859 --> 01:15:17,484
You cured me of that.
918
01:15:23,059 --> 01:15:25,515
You don't know where I can find
a good lawyer, do you?
919
01:16:13,683 --> 01:16:15,593
I've gone off married men.
920
01:16:26,547 --> 01:16:27,856
Oh my God.
921
01:16:30,451 --> 01:16:31,880
Oh my God!
922
01:16:37,363 --> 01:16:39,665
Archie, you're such a fool.
923
01:16:40,627 --> 01:16:41,772
Hello.
924
01:16:42,163 --> 01:16:43,308
Hello?
925
01:16:45,235 --> 01:16:46,380
Alice.
926
01:16:47,155 --> 01:16:48,496
Hello, Alice.
927
01:16:48,595 --> 01:16:49,740
Hello.
928
01:16:51,571 --> 01:16:53,000
Right, okay.
929
01:16:53,779 --> 01:16:55,884
I knew that Bella wasn't really...
930
01:16:55,987 --> 01:16:58,375
I mean, I knew that you were
having... an affair with your...
931
01:16:58,483 --> 01:17:00,938
Oh, for God's sake, Archie,
get a grip.
932
01:17:16,883 --> 01:17:18,225
The newspaper.
933
01:17:20,627 --> 01:17:22,056
Er...
934
01:17:23,891 --> 01:17:25,135
Um?
935
01:17:28,595 --> 01:17:29,839
No, listen.
936
01:17:30,898 --> 01:17:33,168
I never realized what you...
937
01:17:33,267 --> 01:17:34,893
I mean,... I thought you...
938
01:17:34,995 --> 01:17:37,296
- here was me thinking...
- Archie...
939
01:17:37,395 --> 01:17:41,224
No, you see, I know
Bella wasn't really a person.
940
01:17:41,331 --> 01:17:45,554
And I, I just assumed... it was only
natural really, and I was just so...
941
01:17:45,651 --> 01:17:47,756
I thought you had someone else.
942
01:17:48,339 --> 01:17:51,983
I didn't think for a minute
that you were... well...
943
01:17:52,659 --> 01:17:56,107
with Sam. I mean, I know
you were with Sam, but not...
944
01:17:57,074 --> 01:17:58,700
with Sam.
945
01:18:01,491 --> 01:18:04,807
I couldn't stand the fact that you
hadn't chosen me for your affair.
946
01:18:06,259 --> 01:18:09,904
Archie... I don't do affairs.
947
01:18:10,675 --> 01:18:12,878
And even if I did,
I wouldn't choose you.
948
01:18:15,955 --> 01:18:17,678
You're my friend.
949
01:18:17,971 --> 01:18:19,313
Yeah, of course.
950
01:18:19,411 --> 01:18:21,516
And I wouldn't wanna spoil that.
951
01:18:21,619 --> 01:18:23,921
No, me neither.
952
01:18:28,819 --> 01:18:30,063
Are you okay?
953
01:18:31,507 --> 01:18:32,652
Great.
954
01:19:24,819 --> 01:19:26,248
Dear Alice
955
01:19:26,931 --> 01:19:29,320
I would've come round
to say goodbye...
956
01:19:29,619 --> 01:19:31,921
but I've been busy
getting the boat finished.
957
01:19:32,211 --> 01:19:35,375
And to be absolutely honest,
I've been avoiding you.
958
01:19:35,763 --> 01:19:39,112
Because once I knew you'd never
feel the same way about me
959
01:19:39,219 --> 01:19:40,626
as I do about you...
960
01:19:40,723 --> 01:19:42,446
the decision was easy.
961
01:19:43,795 --> 01:19:47,242
I don't think I can face the thought
of bumping into you any more.
962
01:19:47,635 --> 01:19:50,220
And I think it's time I had
a real adventure.
963
01:19:50,515 --> 01:19:53,678
I've tried really hard, Alice,
believe me...
964
01:19:54,259 --> 01:19:57,128
but I just can't seem to get you
out of my heart.
965
01:19:57,811 --> 01:20:00,877
Love always. Archie.
966
01:20:01,555 --> 01:20:04,621
PS... glad you liked the radishes.
967
01:20:08,850 --> 01:20:10,279
Anything interesting?
968
01:20:25,331 --> 01:20:27,916
And you're still here because...?
969
01:21:00,723 --> 01:21:01,967
Archie!
970
01:21:02,931 --> 01:21:04,360
Archie!
971
01:21:10,994 --> 01:21:12,336
Archie!
972
01:21:13,587 --> 01:21:15,375
You can't run off like this.
973
01:21:17,970 --> 01:21:19,115
You all right there?
974
01:21:19,219 --> 01:21:20,845
Where's the man
who owns the boat?
975
01:21:21,619 --> 01:21:24,106
Used to own her.
He sold her to me.
976
01:21:24,211 --> 01:21:26,993
Sold it? Why?
977
01:21:27,379 --> 01:21:28,905
Flying's quicker, I guess.
978
01:21:29,490 --> 01:21:30,734
Where's he gone?
979
01:21:31,027 --> 01:21:33,612
Well, Japan. He took a job there.
980
01:21:33,907 --> 01:21:37,256
He helped me cast off. Next time
I turned around he was gone.
981
01:21:38,226 --> 01:21:40,233
Afraid of missing his train,
I suppose.
982
01:21:50,675 --> 01:21:57,582
The train on platform three is the
19. 24 service to London Paddington.
983
01:22:20,307 --> 01:22:21,736
Shit!
984
01:22:23,954 --> 01:22:25,580
Please, I really have to...
985
01:22:25,682 --> 01:22:28,268
Get a ticket. Over there.
986
01:22:30,578 --> 01:22:31,527
Excuse me?
987
01:22:31,634 --> 01:22:33,641
I'm sorry, love, you'll have to join
the queue like everyone else.
988
01:22:33,747 --> 01:22:36,714
Could you just let me in?
989
01:22:38,835 --> 01:22:40,361
We've all been waiting.
990
01:22:41,906 --> 01:22:44,110
- Please, I've really...
- Ticket!
991
01:22:44,786 --> 01:22:47,569
You are such a shit!
Not you.
992
01:22:47,666 --> 01:22:49,390
Peter, did that last announcement
come out?
993
01:22:49,491 --> 01:22:50,538
Yes, sounded fine.
994
01:22:50,642 --> 01:22:51,951
Where's Jill?
I'm leaving at half past.
995
01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:53,872
Oh, d' you not hear?
She's called in sick.
996
01:22:53,970 --> 01:22:56,937
No! I've been stuck in this booth
for bloody hours!
997
01:22:57,043 --> 01:22:58,472
And I'm the replacement.
998
01:22:59,155 --> 01:23:00,780
You can't go in there!
999
01:23:00,883 --> 01:23:01,831
She's locked the bloody door!
1000
01:23:01,939 --> 01:23:04,328
Well unlock it! I can't,
she's got the key.
1001
01:23:07,603 --> 01:23:09,032
Get out in there.
1002
01:23:09,138 --> 01:23:11,626
- Archie. No!
- Miss, open The door.
1003
01:23:11,731 --> 01:23:12,778
No!
1004
01:23:15,667 --> 01:23:17,870
Archie. Archie!
1005
01:23:17,970 --> 01:23:21,800
Archie Gray. Please don't go.
1006
01:23:21,906 --> 01:23:23,793
I grew the radishes!
1007
01:23:25,042 --> 01:23:26,952
- Hey, Come out Of there.
- Shut up, will you?
1008
01:23:27,058 --> 01:23:28,880
Just shut up!
1009
01:23:30,131 --> 01:23:31,953
Please don't go.
1010
01:23:32,051 --> 01:23:34,920
Thank you. Thank you.
1011
01:23:35,602 --> 01:23:37,129
I got your letter,
1012
01:23:37,234 --> 01:23:40,780
I'm not letting you go to Tokyo.
1013
01:23:40,979 --> 01:23:42,320
Listen to me.
1014
01:23:42,418 --> 01:23:43,945
Bollocks!
1015
01:23:48,754 --> 01:23:50,762
Archie? Testing!
1016
01:23:52,882 --> 01:23:55,632
This is a security announcement.
1017
01:23:55,730 --> 01:23:58,119
All unattended items of baggage
will be removed and destroyed...
1018
01:24:00,306 --> 01:24:01,866
by the security services.
1019
01:24:02,642 --> 01:24:05,326
- Do you want a hand with that?
- Thank you very much.
1020
01:24:08,402 --> 01:24:10,988
Archie, this is Alice.
1021
01:24:11,090 --> 01:24:14,735
The leaves on platform are
the snowy... snowy conditions
1022
01:24:14,835 --> 01:24:16,842
due to an industrial dispute.
1023
01:24:16,946 --> 01:24:19,335
Please ensure you keep
your personal belongings
1024
01:24:19,443 --> 01:24:22,890
Exeter Saint David's
and Didcott Parkway.
1025
01:24:22,994 --> 01:24:27,751
The train at platform 7, 9 and 10
will be removed and destroyed by...
1026
01:24:33,810 --> 01:24:36,592
' Archie, you bloody idiog. '
1027
01:24:36,690 --> 01:24:41,098
'Vet off the ducking grain. '
1028
01:24:41,202 --> 01:24:44,072
'Vet off the ducking grain. '
1029
01:24:51,090 --> 01:24:52,039
No!
1030
01:24:52,146 --> 01:24:54,829
Hey. Come back here!
1031
01:24:55,986 --> 01:24:57,993
- Archie!
- Stop that woman!
1032
01:25:02,002 --> 01:25:04,391
Archie? No!
1033
01:25:04,978 --> 01:25:06,222
Archie.
1034
01:25:07,762 --> 01:25:11,210
Archie. Archie...
1035
01:25:11,795 --> 01:25:13,136
- Alice?
- I love you.
1036
01:25:13,234 --> 01:25:15,623
- Alice?
- I love you.
1037
01:25:15,731 --> 01:25:18,895
I love you!
1038
01:25:27,155 --> 01:25:29,643
Could everybody listen, please?
1039
01:25:29,746 --> 01:25:33,161
Everyone here's been in love
at least once, right?
1040
01:26:01,586 --> 01:26:02,830
I love you!
1041
01:26:11,059 --> 01:26:13,263
Does this mean I'm in with
a chance then?
1042
01:26:13,650 --> 01:26:16,236
Ooh, take me home and radish me!
72423
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