All language subtitles for Everybody.Hates.Chris.S01E15.Everybody.Hates.The.Lottery.DVDRip.XviD-TOPAZ

In Bed-Stuy, a lot of people
had reputations for different things.

Diedre Garfield was 23
and had a reputation

for being the youngest grandmother
in Brooklyn.

All right, I've got everything
under control.

Mr. Jackson had a reputation
for being crazy as hell.

And a lot of people say
he invented homelessness.

Move the car.

- You want some?
- I'm late for my route. Let's go!

I had a reputation too,

not only for being a nerd
or getting beat-up every day,

I was also known for being the best
Asteroids player in Bed-Stuy.

I beat people from all over:

Chinatown,

Rikers,

the Village.

Even though I was a nerd,
it felt really good

that there was one thing
that nobody could beat me at.

Chris, somebody beat your score
last night.

Hey, even Mike Tyson
got knocked out.

Ain't this about a...

My mother had paying bills
down to a science.

But there were always things
she didn't count on.

Oh, damn it.

- Hey, honey.
- Hey, baby.

- What's wrong?
- Well, I used this month's phone bill

to pay half of last month's
electric bill

and now I don't have enough
for the gas bill.

Why don't you just use the electric bill
money to pay the electric bill?

Well, Tonya had to get a filling.
She had a cavity.

She did?

My father never knew when there
was anything wrong with the kids

unless we were unconscious
or in the hospital.

Oh, no, no, no.
We're gonna have to cut back.

Cut back on what? I mean,
we're barely getting by as it is.

That look only meant one thing.

Oh, no!

Not my Turtles. You are not
taking away my Turtles.

My mother loved chocolate Turtles
more than anything else in the world.

Whenever she ate one, it was like
all of life's problems just went away.

Give me those.
Give me... Give me that, man!

I told you not to bring them
in the house!

No! That's 49 cents' worth of popcorn.

Rochelle, would you please
come help me with these kids?

It's a good thing she chose
those Turtles instead of guns.

Those chocolate Turtles
are costing us $12 a box.

Why you gotta take away
my Turtles?

You know I need my Turtles.

Why don't you cut off
your lottery playing?

I'm not cutting out my numbers.

If you don't play,
how can you expect to win?

Look, it says so right here.

Oh, no, no, no.
Not that damn dream book.

My dad was the most
level-headed person I knew,

except when it came
to playing the lottery.

And he always consulted his
Lucky Star Dream Book.

A dream book takes
any possible dream you can have

and transforms it
into a lucky number.

You dreamt about a monkey
on a train in the middle of a blizzard.

Here it is, 814.

I dreamt Dr. J was roller-skating
with two white women in Sweden.

Here it is, 621.

White ladies?

Rochelle, if I win the lottery,

you can buy all the chocolate
Turtles you want.

But you eating chocolate Turtles
ain't helping nobody.

Well, if you play the lottery,
I'm eating my Turtles.

Fine.

I'll quit the lottery.

Okay then.

Can you believe
this is a real argument?

At school, even Greg
was getting a reputation.

And for Best Attendance,

- Greg Wuliger.
- Yes!

Getting an award for attendance is
like getting an award for breathing.

Wait. Your dad is giving you $5
just for coming to school?

I bet him I wouldn't miss a day
of school this year. So far, so good.

My mother told me I better
not miss a day of school,

or else she'd take $5 off my ass.

This is so cool.

The only award I could've gotten
at Corleone would've been...

For taking the Best Ass Whupping,
Chris.

Yes, yes, yes!

But instead of an award,
I had Asteroids.

Hey, I got the top five scores
in Asteroids yesterday.

Get out of here. No way.

Yeah, but some kid beat me.

I have to protect my title.

Man, you're just like
Apollo Creed in Rocky II.

You sure you can beat this guy?

Hey, I've got a reputation
to maintain.

Hey, Tonya.

Ask Daddy for some money
so we can get some candy tomorrow.

- How come you can't ask him?
- Because

if I ask, he'll give me a speech.

If you ask, he'll give you the money.

If Daddy gives me the money,

you have to share
some of that candy with me.

- Okay.
- All right.

Six and three.

Daddy.

- What?
- Can I have a dollar?

What you need a dollar for?

I wanna get juice and some candy.

Oh, that's nice.

My father was crazy about Tonya.

She was the only one
who would dare

take sleep and money
from him at the same time.

Thanks, Daddy.

In Bed-Stuy, we never had
a real video arcade to go to.

All we had was Doc's.

At Doc's you could get
almost anything:

You could cash a cheque.

That'll be $5.

You could get an alibi.

No, it wasn't him. He was here.

That'll be $5.

You could even get
your teeth pulled.

Open.

- Your mama know you're down here?
- Yes, sir.

My mother didn't like me
hanging out at Doc's

because she thought that would
eventually lead to this:

I'm a junkie.

A crackhead.

Look, just tell mama her oldest son
is a crackhead.

Hey, little dude
from across the street.

Usually Jerome would rob me,

but not when I was about
to play Asteroids.

- Getting ready to play Asteroids?
- Yeah, some kid beat my score.

For real? Oh, no.

I know you're not
gonna take that, man.

You better protect your rep.

If I didn't get my high score back,

somebody was gonna get hit
with a brick.

Come on, take a sip.

You're Chris?

Hey, he's big.

So you're Doa.

What?

Doa.

That's D-O-A.

It means "dead on arrival."

My name is Jorge.

- So what, you wanna play?
- Come on.

I know it looks strange,

but before people got PlayStations
in their back seats,

you actually had to go someplace
to play video games.

Hold my hat.

Yeah.

All right, man,
that was a good game.

- Hey, hold up. Where you going?
- I gotta get home.

What, you're not gonna
give him a rematch?

Yeah, you can't just beat the man
and walk out.

Hey, I really gotta go.
Besides, I'd just beat him again.

Wanna put some money on that?

If you have a good reputation,

you have to be willing
to do anything to protect it.

I can't play for money.

- Come on, man.
- Oh, man.

- Don't tell me you're scared.
- I'm not. I just gotta go home.

Man, I can't believe it.
You're scared of this dude.

Come on, go. Get! Come on. Go!

Anybody got 5 bucks?

Hey, I need a favour.
I need to borrow your $5.

What? What do you need it for?

I beat this kid playing Asteroids
and now he wants to play for money.

Can't you just save up
your lunch money?

Or take a neighbour's garbage out?

Or help some old ladies
carry groceries to their car?

Or return some Coke bottles
or something?

Note to self:
When begging, be persistent.

Hey, I don't have time for this.

You gotta do this or my reputation
is gonna be ruined.

I wonder if that's how O.J.
Got A. C. To drive that Bronco.

Thanks.

After a day with no Turtles,

my mother was going through
serious sugar withdrawal.

She'd eat any sugar she could find.

From anywhere she could find it.

All I can tell you is that crack ain't got
nothing on chocolate Turtles.

Here.

Drew was getting his fix too.

I know you'll give me
more than that.

You're not supposed
to be eating candy anyway.

You just got a filling.

I'm telling Mama.

Some people had wine,
my mom had Aunt Jemima.

Okay.

Okay.

What the...

- Oh, see...
- Mama, Drew got some candy

and this is all he gave me.
Three pieces...

- Ma!
- Candy? Did you say candy?

- Yeah.
- Drew, get in here!

You got candy?

- Mom...
- Don't "Mom" me.

Don't "Mom" me right now, boy.

Do you have anything in here that...

That tastes like Turtles?

- No...
- Something that has chocolate,

- caramel, something like that?
- I don't know.

Where in the world
did you get money for candy?

Daddy.

Now that's what I'm talking about.

What he's actually talking about is
which one of us he's gonna rob

after we get through with the game.

- What? What's wrong with you?
- Turtles.

I ain't got my Turtles.

I'm over here drinking syrup

while you're still buying lottery tickets.

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with you?

Baby, I did it for you...

Julius, we both had an agreement.

And you have to honour
that agreement.

Do you know what kind of message
we are sending to our children?

- Message? What you...?
- You're telling our kids:

"Oh, go ahead, little children, ignore
your mother because she's a lunatic."

- I didn't say that.
- You did!

What I meant was it's just... It's...
It's just a couple of dollars.

Are we cutting back?

Or am I cutting back?

- Because I can't do it by myself.
- Oh, baby, no. Baby.

I feel alone.

No, no, we... We cutting back.
We cutting back. Okay? I'm sorry.

We can do this. We can do this.

I get the shakes at night, Julius.
I get the shakes!

- We can do this.
- Okay.

Okay.

Fine.

Yeah, baby! Oh, yeah, baby!
Watch out, let me through.

Good game. You almost had him.

You got a lot of heart, little dude.

I wonder if I could sell
my heart for $5.

You lost? How could you lose?

Hey, I'll pay you back.
I'll carry some groceries

or return some soda bottles
or something.

- That crap will take forever.
- Then why did you tell me to do it?

Because I didn't wanna
give you my money.

I'm as surprised as you are.

No. I'd say you're about 5 bucks
less surprised than I am.

He's starting to sound
like my father.

Hey, I'm gonna pay you back.

It'll take a couple of weeks, but I will.

- You gotta play him again.
- No, I don't think so.

- What about your rep?
- I've got a new one:

Sucker.

Come on.

I missed being the Asteroids champ
of Bed-Stuy.

Without that, I was just another bum
from the neighbourhood.

My father wouldn't usually admit
he was wrong about things,

at least not in front of the kids.

I have something to say.

I thought he was about to tell us
he was leaving us

for a white family across town.

I'm sorry.

What did you do?

After your mother gave up
her chocolate Turtles

so we could pay the bills,

I played the lottery.

I shouldn't have done that.
I was wrong.

Is that why she ate up
all our candy?

I should have never given
you money for candy.

Dad, it's not all her fault.

I asked her to do it.
But only because I knew

- you'd give it to her.
- How did you know?

Because you give her
everything she wants.

That's not true. One time
I asked if I could set Chris on fire

- and he didn't let me do that.
- Well, thank goodness for that.

I have a confession too.

I've been hanging out
at that corner store.

- Chris...
- But I was only playing Asteroids.

Well, that ain't so bad.

And I lost $5.

- What? Five dollars?
- I'm telling!

Now, who are you gonna tell?
We're all sitting right here.

- How did you lose $5, boy?
- Where did you get $5?

I bet a guy playing Asteroids and...

And I got the $5 from Greg.

What are you doing
betting on video games?

I was trying to protect my reputation.

- You have a reputation?
- Yeah.

I am the best player on the block.

- How come you didn't win?
- Because you need to be quiet.

- Don't tell me to be quiet!
- Oh, jeez.

- Shut up! Shut up!
- That's enough. That's your problem.

- You borrowed it, you pay it back.
- I am.

I better not hear no more about
you betting money, you hear me?

- Yes, ma'am.
- All right.

- Mama, can we have our candy back?
- No.

I ate it.

I don't need y'all getting
any more cavities than what y'all got.

No cavities in this house.

But at this rate,
there'll be plenty of diabetes.

It needs some more sugar.

- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm just tired.

I had this weird dream last night
and couldn't fall back to sleep.

Dream, huh?

Yeah, it was bizarre.

I was walking down the street
waving hello to everybody,

but nobody was waving back.

It was if they couldn't see me.

- So you were invisible?
- Yeah.

Mama had Turtles,
Daddy had the lottery.

That's right...

It's a wonder nobody sold the TV.

Come here. I need you to go
to the corner store after school

and buy a lottery ticket for me.
Six, three, seven.

- But you said you weren't gonna...
- I know what I said.

I just got a feeling about this.

Translation:
Just shut up and do what I tell you.

Now, keep this
between me and you, all right?

Six, three, seven, all right? And keep
the ticket on you. Go! Go, go, go!

He hadn't been that excited about
a dream since Martin Luther King's.

What do you need today?

My father played the lottery
a thousand times

and lost a thousand times.
I had only lost my rep once,

and I wasn't about
to let that happen again.

- Give me four quarters.
- Now you're talking.

You wanna play me
for some more money?

I don't have any money.

I just wanna prove I can beat you.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

What now, sucker?

Good game, man.
You should've bet me, though.

If I had bet him, I couldn't help
but think that this would've happened:

- Looks good, huh?
- I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

- Who are you?
- I'm Jorge.

I won your family from Chris,
playing Asteroids

I told Chris to stay out of that store.

Can you cook mofongo?

- What?
- What'd you call her?

I was raised around Puerto Ricans.

There's something
about defending your reputation

that makes you feel like
you really accomplished something.

And even though I didn't get
Greg's money back, I had my rep.

Even though my father
never won the lottery,

it always made him feel
like it was one thing in the world

he had a shot at winning.
And to him, that dollar was worth it.

And tonight's winning numbers are:
Six, three, seven.

I won! I won! I won!

- What happened?
- My number hit!

Chris, show your mama the ticket.

Show your mama the ticket, man!

Show your mama the ticket.

Mama!