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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,854 Here's to you, baby. 2 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,273 Ten years of misery. 3 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,609 Sláinte 4 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,657 You never did like taking it on the face. 5 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,784 Well how's that now, huh? 6 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:00,786 Come to think of it, 7 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,663 I think it's high time 8 00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,499 I cashed in on all those years 9 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:09,044 you never tended to my needs. 10 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:13,507 Whine, whine, whine. Me, me, me. 11 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,634 Well what about me? 12 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,302 Huh? 13 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,721 I'm thinking it's time 14 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:23,475 for a little bit of dead head. 15 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,728 You won't mind. Much. 16 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,398 Shit. 17 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,694 Jesus and mother of god! 18 00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:35,362 Fuck. 19 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,242 Let go of my meat! 20 00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,162 Let go of my meat! 21 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,651 No. No. No. No. No. No. 22 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,279 No! You bitch! 23 00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:20,240 You bit off my bean bag! 24 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,829 Fucker! 25 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,414 Yeah? 26 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,584 Balls! He is? 27 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,463 Yeah, I'll be there, I'll be there, yeah. 28 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:37,716 Jesus wept! Yeah, fine! 29 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,603 I'm late for work. 30 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,163 Will you stop touching that. 31 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,814 Honey, what is... What was the station again? 32 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,232 I can never remember the number. 33 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,483 I don't know. 34 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,568 You're supposed to know 35 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,363 'cause I can never remember, so it's your job to remember. 36 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,490 Well, remind me why we're bringing our baby 37 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:45,701 to an all-night splatter fest again. 38 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:50,205 Are you serious? I wish that I had parents as cool as 39 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,166 He's gonna be so prepared for life in modern america, 40 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,710 after this evening of films. 41 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,586 I know. 42 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,213 Yeah. 43 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,633 I love it when the old man 44 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,612 pumps golden moldies in the channel after the all-nighters. 45 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,637 You know, I'm totally puts me in the mood. 46 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,992 Yeah, look what happened the last time Otis Redding was on. 47 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,141 Uh-huh? Uh-huh. 48 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,726 Do you want a brother? 49 00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,312 Little brother, daddy. 50 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:16,481 All right, tobe. Six degrees, Kevin bacon, bela lugosi. 51 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:17,733 Hit it! 52 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,651 Oh, no. 53 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,903 Oh man, this should be cake and ice cream for you. 54 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,697 Oh, come on. Forget it, I... I... 55 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:26,658 I guess this encyclopedia is human after all. 56 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,202 So what movie is everyone freaking out about? 57 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,163 'Cause I'm going into the 58 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:34,166 Well, I haven't seen any of them. Apparently, Mr. K., 59 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,669 has the only prints of these things in existence. 60 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,380 It's like ultra rare holy grail shit. Right, tobes? 61 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,592 Yeah, this being the last hurrah and all is the best time as ever 62 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,345 to unleash the terror, the blood, the boobs! 63 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:47,929 More blood! More boobs! 64 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,223 Hurray for boobs. 65 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,351 What was it like working here, I mean, 66 00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:54,353 hog heaven, right? 67 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,938 No, nerdgasm. I saw the movie hungry hungry hippos 68 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,732 13 times! 69 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,610 I see no nutritional value in that whatsoever. 70 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,362 Hey, you asked! And besides, 71 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,946 it gave you an excuse to almost talk 72 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,448 to a certain concession employee. 73 00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,033 Wait. Almost? 74 00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,118 So you haven't even like... 75 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,745 No. Okay? We haven't even. 76 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,914 We're taking it slow. 77 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,875 Mm-hm. And by "slow" he means turn the other way and walk fast. 78 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,794 So you haven't even talked to her? 79 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,629 It's like this. 80 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,965 A girl like desi is never gonna go out with me 81 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,884 so I figure, why not hold on to the hope 82 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,427 instead of suffer the disappointment? 83 00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,804 You should at least talk to her 84 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,430 before you go back to school. 85 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,474 At least then you could make a piece. 86 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,142 Yeah, look who's talking potsy! 87 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,977 Well, what the fuck does that mean? 88 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,312 Oh, nothing. 89 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,106 Yeah, nothing, just... 90 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,108 Look, Kevin bacon and Elvis Presley. 91 00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,818 Let's do it. 92 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,488 Admit two. 93 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:47,989 There you go, kids. 94 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,492 Just pull up to the front row spot 95 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,578 and tune your tunes to 106.1 and enjoy. 96 00:06:55,415 --> 00:07:00,377 It's gonna be a hell of a night! 97 00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,087 Yeah, thanks. 98 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,426 "It's gonna be a hell of a night!" Fuck you, get real. 99 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,594 I'm so glad to see this fucking dump decimated. 100 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,221 Jesus, man. Lighten up. 101 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,556 Oh, I'll lighten up tomorrow 102 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,516 when the bulldozzers gas up. 103 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,102 So remind me why we're here instead of schneideman's. 104 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,645 Because I pulled the short straw 105 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:20,355 and got stuck with baby sitting duty. 106 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,482 9:00 am this is another fine blumps location. 107 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,278 Until then, I gotta keep an eye on the old man 108 00:07:26,362 --> 00:07:27,631 make sure he doesn't pull any shenanigans. 109 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,489 Well, Mr. Sourpuss. 110 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,950 Excuse me, that's junior vp at marketing sourpuss. 111 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,161 Okay, Mr. Vp poopy pants, 112 00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,830 I promise to make tonight worth your while. 113 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,915 Oh. 114 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,799 Show starts in five minutes. 115 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,986 I don't know, Orson. 116 00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:11,990 Looks like last licks for us old bones. 117 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:16,077 I'm gonna miss all this. 118 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,331 This was my favorite part. 119 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:22,959 The preparation and anticipation. 120 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:27,172 The threading, splicing the reels, 121 00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:29,758 and always racing the clock. 122 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:33,553 Betty and I, we never missed a single listing. 123 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,182 In the gate and don't be late. 124 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,228 You taught me that. 125 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,438 My rosebud. 126 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,399 Well, who needs to be on time now 127 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,277 when you've got demanding video 128 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,279 and high definition crap? 129 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,950 You can get anytime at home. 130 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,245 Who needs the old night out under the stars 131 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,413 with some movie magic anymore? 132 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,458 That's what you were all about. Right? 133 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,546 Magic tricks and slight of hand. 134 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,799 Nobody cares for magic anymore. 135 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,051 Nope. 136 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:15,387 The world gets smaller. 137 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,472 And soul mates fade away 138 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,059 like old Kodak film stock. 139 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,686 But nothing's gonna stop me 140 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,230 from sharing a bit of that magic tonight! 141 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:27,941 Right? 142 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:31,736 But, much like anything else... 143 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,581 Now she's gone. 144 00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:46,418 Now this place is pretty much gone. 145 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,298 And like tomorrow, 146 00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,718 I may be gone, too. 147 00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:58,597 Fade to black. Right? 148 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:01,850 Or maybe a smash cut! 149 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,146 Jumping Jesus! Jehoshaphat Floyd. 150 00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,315 Heart hopping Christ, you're late, man. 151 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,317 Sorry, boss, I've been, uh, 152 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,028 I've been dealing with some... 153 00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,696 Family matters. 154 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,865 Well, there's no need for excuses now, 155 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,284 I'm already done threading the first film. 156 00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,870 Good god, man! 157 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,372 What have you been sticking your dick into? 158 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:25,897 You look like hell on a hand grenade. 159 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,084 I've been under the weather. 160 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,129 Look, why don't you just go check in with concessions, 161 00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:32,714 see if desi needs some help? 162 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,466 Sounds good. Okay. 163 00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,051 And for Christ's sake, man, 164 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,387 clean yourself up! 165 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,812 It's show-time! 166 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:55,570 Well, hell, ell, ell, ello, kiddies! 167 00:10:57,156 --> 00:11:00,575 It's your old friend, uncle Cecil, 168 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,370 welcoming you to the final, 169 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,581 ghoulish night of murder 170 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:10,210 and mayhem! 171 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:13,505 Yes, my ghouls and gals, 172 00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:18,468 it's time for chillerama! 173 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:27,060 Sit back, poke a hole in the bottom of your pop-corn bag, 174 00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:30,146 cuddle up to the closest corpse 175 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,191 and prepare yourself 176 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,819 for this evening's 177 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:41,199 first squishy selection. 178 00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:47,789 Wadzilla! 179 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,744 Excuse me, Dr. Weems. 180 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,746 Miles munson's lab work is ready. 181 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,706 Tell him I'll be right in. 182 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,416 Okay. 183 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,086 I never heard of a sperm bank 184 00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,629 turning anyone down before. 185 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,214 You can imagine my nervousness 186 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,216 when they suggested I see a urologist. 187 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,051 It isn't anything serious, is it? 188 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,428 Life-threatening, no. 189 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,764 As a matter of concern, yes. 190 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,934 Have a look in there, miles. 191 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,440 Wow! Look at them all go. 192 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:59,486 That is an example or normal sperm. 193 00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:03,656 And that is your sperm. 194 00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,536 Yikes. 195 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,373 That doesn't look good. 196 00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:17,712 Miles, there's a new medication I'd like to suggest you try. 197 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,632 It's called spermupermine. 198 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:24,552 Now, it can't increase the sperm you generate 199 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,471 but what it can do, 200 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,182 is strengthen the sperm you already produce. 201 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,892 Spermupermine? 202 00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:34,896 Yes. It hasn't been approved by the fda yet, 203 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,524 but it is available to test subjects. 204 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:40,610 Luckily for you, I'm on the research board. 205 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,654 Thank you, doctor. 206 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,158 Good morning, kids! 207 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,494 It's the captain fatso show. 208 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,747 And I'm captain fatso! 209 00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,837 Well, ahoy there, captain fatso, 210 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,548 say, are those gumdrops I smell? 211 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,592 Look kids, it's Dudley dingleberry! 212 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,514 I'm starving! 213 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,891 I haven't even had breakfast yet! 214 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:16,020 Let me tell you about the new sponsor! 215 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,495 Peanut mush is now enhanced 216 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,706 with new flavored chemicals. 217 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:39,294 Makes your breakfast even more scrump-dilly-dumptious! 218 00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,296 Sounds de-lish. 219 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,553 Morning, miles. 220 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,763 Uh, morning, Larry. 221 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,015 Hey, you still single, buddy? 222 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,766 Unfortunately. 223 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,852 My wife's college roommate just got divorced 224 00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:57,645 and moved to town. Perfect for you. 225 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,457 You should take her to dinner tomorrow night. 226 00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,201 Absolutely not. No way, no more blind dates. 227 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,109 Not after last time. 228 00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:05,570 Come on, she's perfect. You should just do this, okay? 229 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,906 She's cute. She's not looking for anything serious. 230 00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,074 Just a little companionship. You know? 231 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,690 Oh. 232 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,943 Allow me. 233 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,289 Oh. 234 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,629 Miles, are you okay? 235 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,464 Come here. 236 00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,342 I just had a horrible shooting pain in my balls. 237 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,386 You think you sat on your balls when you sat down? 238 00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:13,054 I don't know. 239 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:15,556 Oh! You twisted the veins in your testicles. 240 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,016 Classic vein twist. 241 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,352 Okay. Okay. 242 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,853 I'm good. 243 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:21,938 I'm so... 244 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:32,323 Okay, onto the consolidation of our acquisitions 245 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:33,866 of general textile industries 246 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,243 and mbt plastics. 247 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,786 For a brief overview, 248 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,538 we'd like to introduce to you all 249 00:16:38,622 --> 00:16:40,498 the newest member of our department, 250 00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:42,542 Andie Sumner. 251 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:46,004 Hello, gentlemen. 252 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,722 Oh! 253 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,682 I'm such a klutzz. 254 00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,438 Oh. 255 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,362 Are you okay? 256 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,864 Someone, help him up. 257 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,741 No, I'm all right. I'm all right. 258 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,576 I'm all right. 259 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,203 Ugh. I just need a little bit of air. 260 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,707 I'm sorry. Excuse me for one second. 261 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,208 I don't know if it has anything to do 262 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,877 with the pills that you gave me, 263 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,337 but every time I get the least bit aroused 264 00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,049 I get the most intense shooting pain 265 00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:33,051 Through my testicles. 266 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:36,304 Tsk. Well, there's only one way to find out. 267 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:47,440 What in god's name... 268 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,321 Miles? Are you all right? 269 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,073 I think so. 270 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,412 Give me the sample, miles, 271 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,308 so we can get it under the microscope right away. 272 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,876 I don't think you're gonna need a microscope. 273 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,173 Oh! 274 00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,930 My god. 275 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:20,640 What's wrong with me? 276 00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,850 It's impossible, but it would appear 277 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,895 that the spermupermine has had an adverse effect on your system. 278 00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,939 It's not only strengthening your spermatozzoa 279 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,524 but it's causing it to grow 280 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,360 to gargantuan proportions. 281 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:36,114 And traditionally, when a man experiences arousal, 282 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,950 his testicles produce more sperm. 283 00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,326 But in your case, however, 284 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:42,120 when you get turned on, 285 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,455 the one sperm you do have 286 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,707 gets huge. 287 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:55,299 I'm gonna send this to the national institute of health 288 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,885 in Washington for analysis. 289 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,890 Discontinue use of the medication immediately. 290 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,893 If you feel your sperm enlarging again 291 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,229 you get it out of your system right away. 292 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,313 Get it out of my system? 293 00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,649 Jerk off! Fast! 294 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,379 Hi. 295 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,256 You must be miles. 296 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,343 I'm Louise. 297 00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:50,438 No. 298 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,981 Oh, my god! What happened? Are you... 299 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:53,858 Are you okay? 300 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,611 May I use your bathroom just for a minute, please? 301 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,112 Of course. 302 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,488 Come right in. 303 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,699 Right down the hall. 304 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,243 I'll just be one second and I'll be back. 305 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,620 Oh. 306 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:24,055 Molly, just what kind of a nut did you and Larry set me up with? 307 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:27,600 Hon, Louise says that miles showed up at her door, 308 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,811 grabbed his crotch and started screaming. Wha... 309 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,730 He's... he's in the bathroom now, 310 00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:35,066 he's making weird... I can hear him. 311 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,568 Louise, miles twisted a vein in one of his testicles. 312 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,654 Yeah, it hurts him sometimes. 313 00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,216 He feels bad about it. Don't make a fuss over it. 314 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,615 He's a good guy. 315 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,951 Okay. That is enough out of you. 316 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,620 I'm so sorry. No, it's gonna be okay. 317 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,080 He's just a brute. 318 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,581 That guy is such an asshole. 319 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:51,999 I can hear him. 320 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,418 The poor guy... 321 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:55,920 Now I just feel sorry for him. 322 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,393 She hung up. 323 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:02,653 Miles? 324 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,906 Are you all right in there? 325 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:15,916 Ugh! 326 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,013 That was a close one. 327 00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:34,477 Oh, no! 328 00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:35,978 Miles. 329 00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,605 I'm getting very concerned. 330 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,732 It sounds like something broke in there. 331 00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:42,360 You don't happen to have a plunger, do you? 332 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,404 Oh. 333 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:47,448 Just what in the hell happened in here? 334 00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:49,950 I'm on a new medication. 335 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:51,035 Oh! 336 00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,208 Oh, my god! 337 00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,878 It's getting bigger! 338 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,381 Run! 339 00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:09,887 No! 340 00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:11,764 Run! 341 00:23:11,848 --> 00:23:13,099 Ugh. 342 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:17,895 Oh! 343 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,287 Um. 344 00:24:16,329 --> 00:24:19,039 I can explain that. 345 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:22,376 He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong, but... 346 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,211 "Nice" just don't count in the bedroom 347 00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,672 when you got a baby gherkin between your legs. 348 00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,466 Come on, stewie. Make a poo poo for momma, 349 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:31,093 come on, be a good boy. I'm not exaggerating. 350 00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,803 The guy's hung like howdy doody, 351 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:34,096 and that's being generous. 352 00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,309 Of course I'm gonna see him again. 353 00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:40,060 Did you see his car? It's a Cadillac. 354 00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,146 No, that sizze was more than acceptable... 355 00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,566 Stewie! Will you please shut up? 356 00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:49,361 I'm sorry. He flunked obedience school. The mongoloid. 357 00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:08,297 Why does it smell like ajax? 358 00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:10,716 Stewie! Ow! You almost dislocated my... 359 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,345 Stewie? 360 00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,851 I have to call you back, mom. 361 00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,270 Stewie just escaped from his leash again. 362 00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,233 There you are. 363 00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:30,569 You furry fugitive, you. 364 00:25:30,654 --> 00:25:32,071 You'd better get your little butt 365 00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:33,531 over here before... 366 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,275 You almost gave me a heart attack. 367 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:52,735 Me too! 368 00:26:55,905 --> 00:26:59,116 What'd you get? 369 00:27:05,373 --> 00:27:06,624 A milk dud. 370 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,337 So, what did you find? 371 00:27:11,421 --> 00:27:15,132 Half a rotisserie 372 00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:17,301 chicken. 373 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:19,637 You're gonna split that with me, right? 374 00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:21,180 Yeah. Maybe. 375 00:27:21,264 --> 00:27:23,974 For a hand job. 376 00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,562 Don't be such a prude, babs. 377 00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,565 It's not like you ain't done it 100,000 times already. 378 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,984 Sp... sperm! 379 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,153 Exactly! 380 00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:56,215 Bob! 381 00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:12,606 I want to thank you for being so understanding. 382 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,025 You know, a lot of girls would've run for the hills 383 00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:18,362 if the sperm of their blind date shot up their skirt like that. 384 00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,072 So, thanks again. 385 00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:22,449 I swear to god, I will pay for any damages. 386 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:25,035 Oh, please, things can be replaced. 387 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,704 Testicles can't. 388 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,038 Now that's for sure. 389 00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:32,418 I'm just glad you're... uh. 390 00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,712 Louise? What's the matter? 391 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,381 Oh, my god. 392 00:28:37,424 --> 00:28:40,259 Miles. That's your sperm. 393 00:28:40,343 --> 00:28:43,303 This just in. The tadpole-like creature 394 00:28:43,388 --> 00:28:46,181 is running rampant as it heads downtown. 395 00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,560 Five are dead already and unconfirmed reports 396 00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:52,396 claim the slimy beast is now the sizze of a house 397 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,148 and growing! 398 00:28:54,232 --> 00:28:56,775 Military leaders are described as "testy" 399 00:28:56,860 --> 00:29:00,612 when asked how to defend against this gargantuan goo. 400 00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,781 The military is doing its best 401 00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:06,910 to determine what it would take to rub one out of this sizze. 402 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:08,579 What are we gonna do? 403 00:29:08,663 --> 00:29:11,415 We gotta get the authorities. Come on! 404 00:29:11,499 --> 00:29:14,626 Citizzens are asked to use whatever protection they can 405 00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:17,087 and avoid the creature's immediate vicinity 406 00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:19,757 which authorities are calling, "the wet spot". 407 00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,606 We're reporting live from downtown Manhattan 408 00:29:35,690 --> 00:29:37,733 at the epicenter of the crisis zzone 409 00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:40,277 with a sperm creature which has now risen to five stories high 410 00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:43,614 and apparently still growing has been wreaking havoc on New York. 411 00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:46,992 The mayor is insisting that all new yorkers remain in their homes 412 00:29:47,076 --> 00:29:49,828 until further... oh, my god. 413 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,330 It's coming. 414 00:29:59,088 --> 00:30:01,984 The stupendous spermatozzoa is ravaging through central park. 415 00:30:02,008 --> 00:30:03,967 Oh, the humanity! 416 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,410 The spermicide is having absolutely no effect. 417 00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:32,412 What does this sperm want, doc? 418 00:30:32,497 --> 00:30:35,249 What every sperm wants, general. To fertilizze an ovum! 419 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:37,584 There's not an ovum on god's green earth 420 00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:39,419 big enough for that thing. 421 00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:40,898 Wait! I just figured it out. 422 00:30:40,922 --> 00:30:42,631 The statue of Liberty. 423 00:30:42,715 --> 00:30:45,092 It's the only conceivable female large enough. 424 00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:59,666 Steady. Steady. 425 00:32:10,511 --> 00:32:11,762 Ah! Dammit. 426 00:32:11,804 --> 00:32:12,721 Oh, my god! 427 00:32:12,805 --> 00:32:14,222 Don't panic, 428 00:32:14,307 --> 00:32:16,099 there's gotta be another one here. 429 00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:17,517 No time. Look! 430 00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:42,125 Attention! 431 00:32:42,168 --> 00:32:43,710 This is general bukkake. 432 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:46,880 Initiate operation moneyshot. Three. 433 00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:51,426 Two! 434 00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,761 One! 435 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:35,345 Ah. 436 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,389 [Ugh. 437 00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:42,686 Some first date, huh? 438 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,865 You can say that again. 439 00:33:56,951 --> 00:33:58,869 Well, at least it's good for the skin. 440 00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:00,120 Yeah. 441 00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,464 What? 442 00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:12,466 What's the matter? 443 00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:13,633 Nothing. 444 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:24,728 Miles! 445 00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:26,396 All right. 446 00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:28,148 Fuck it. 447 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:35,822 Hm. 448 00:34:55,134 --> 00:34:56,635 Oh, yeah. Classic cinema. 449 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,178 Wow. 450 00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:01,014 If you liked remains of the day 451 00:35:01,099 --> 00:35:04,351 then you'll cream over wadzilla. 452 00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:06,144 You know? 453 00:35:06,229 --> 00:35:07,938 Not enough tits. 454 00:35:08,022 --> 00:35:11,149 Wow. Ryan. Be your brother much? 455 00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:13,193 Mayna, don't insult me. 456 00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:16,780 Okay, substance run. I am so thirsty. 457 00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,782 Oh, no. Sit tight. Sit tight. I'll go. 458 00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:21,076 I got this. I got this one. 459 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,410 What? 460 00:35:22,495 --> 00:35:23,620 Nothing. 461 00:35:23,704 --> 00:35:24,955 I just wanna make sure 462 00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:26,498 my friends are well fueled. 463 00:35:26,582 --> 00:35:28,625 Hm. Sure. 464 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:30,669 What do you want? 465 00:35:30,753 --> 00:35:32,254 Get me some red vines. No popcorn. 466 00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:33,839 No corn? 467 00:35:33,923 --> 00:35:35,465 Nope. No popcorn for me, but, 468 00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:37,676 a coke would be delightful, Romeo. 469 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,553 All right. Red vines. Check. 470 00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:41,972 Coke. Check. Fuck off. Check. 471 00:35:42,056 --> 00:35:45,851 Back before flick two. You kids, be good now. 472 00:35:47,603 --> 00:35:49,396 Oh. Uh. Milkduds. 473 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:50,147 Gremlins. 474 00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:51,773 Yeah! 475 00:35:54,068 --> 00:35:55,193 So... 476 00:35:55,278 --> 00:35:56,695 Uh... 477 00:35:56,779 --> 00:35:59,573 Robert england to Kane hodder. Go. 478 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:00,907 God, I love you. 479 00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,075 What? 480 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,368 Uh, nothing, nothing. 481 00:36:03,452 --> 00:36:05,370 Uh, well, that's easy... 482 00:36:05,454 --> 00:36:07,873 Stop the show. 483 00:36:07,957 --> 00:36:09,624 Here's news you want to know. 484 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,169 We just got a shipment of... 485 00:36:12,253 --> 00:36:13,795 Dude! 486 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,672 Hey, you get me snackage? Thank you. 487 00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,090 Oh, I am? 488 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:20,010 Come on, cum bubble. I'm busy. 489 00:36:20,094 --> 00:36:21,094 Hi, Ryan. 490 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:22,387 Hi, Laura. 491 00:36:22,471 --> 00:36:23,889 You gonna go talk to desi? 492 00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:25,557 Why does everyone know about this? 493 00:36:25,641 --> 00:36:27,100 Popcorn. Extra butter. Andale. 494 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:28,894 How about some money, prick? 495 00:36:28,978 --> 00:36:31,271 Put it on my tab, douche. 496 00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:33,231 Asshole. 497 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:35,692 I think your brother's cute. 498 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,527 I think my brother's a fagot. 499 00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:44,201 Enjoy the show. 500 00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:46,036 Hi, des. 501 00:36:46,078 --> 00:36:47,078 Hey, daddy-o. 502 00:36:47,121 --> 00:36:48,622 What's your tale nightingale? 503 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:49,915 Nothing much. 504 00:36:49,999 --> 00:36:51,416 Pretty crazzy outside, huh? 505 00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:52,876 It's never been this jammin'. 506 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,127 It's totally antsville. 507 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,545 Man. 508 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,131 Hey, you look so boss. 509 00:36:58,216 --> 00:36:59,549 You like it? 510 00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:01,259 I thought it'd be appropriate, 511 00:37:01,344 --> 00:37:02,135 last night and all. 512 00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:03,511 Sure. 513 00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:04,804 What can I do for ya? 514 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,057 Uh, I need a twizzzzlers, 515 00:37:07,099 --> 00:37:09,309 a coke and a popcorn, 516 00:37:09,393 --> 00:37:11,645 with extra extra arsenic, please. 517 00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:13,563 That last order is for big brother? 518 00:37:13,648 --> 00:37:15,273 How could you tell? 519 00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,400 Lucky guess. Let me get that for ya. 520 00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:18,902 Sure. 521 00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,993 Snickers! Hey, I'm sorry. 522 00:37:27,078 --> 00:37:28,453 We're all out of butter 523 00:37:28,537 --> 00:37:29,913 but I can go get some real quick. 524 00:37:29,956 --> 00:37:31,414 Nah, it's not a problem, 525 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:32,958 I don't wanna hold the line. 526 00:37:33,042 --> 00:37:34,626 Nah, nah, it's okay. 527 00:37:34,710 --> 00:37:37,087 I'll be back in a jiff. Just hold on, okay? 528 00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,833 Golly. 529 00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:21,798 Beach, blanket, 530 00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:23,383 bingo! 531 00:38:23,467 --> 00:38:25,093 Hm. It's open. 532 00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,406 So how's the car? I saw you on king last week, pretty cherry. 533 00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:49,326 You liked it? I got it right outside if you wanna take a look. 534 00:38:49,368 --> 00:38:50,994 Nifty. Really? 535 00:38:51,037 --> 00:38:53,496 You know. Maybe before I hit back upstate, 536 00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:55,123 I'd like to take you for a drive. 537 00:38:55,207 --> 00:38:58,418 Gee whizz. Um, yeah, but only if you come. 538 00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:00,712 Hey, now. 539 00:39:00,796 --> 00:39:02,505 Well, kiddies. 540 00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,424 Ready for another rush 541 00:39:04,508 --> 00:39:08,219 rock and shock and roll? 542 00:39:08,304 --> 00:39:10,096 Shit. To be continued. 543 00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,016 Absolutely, big tickler. Come back after this one? 544 00:39:13,059 --> 00:39:14,684 That's a promise, suzzy q. 545 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,353 Ryan? 546 00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:17,854 Yeah. 547 00:39:17,938 --> 00:39:19,898 That's ten dollars. 548 00:39:19,982 --> 00:39:21,232 Ah! Right. Right. 549 00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:25,779 Come back, okay? 550 00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:28,406 Swearzzies. Hope to die. Later gator. 551 00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:29,866 After a while, crocodile. 552 00:39:35,039 --> 00:39:36,915 Nice. 553 00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:39,626 This next class of cinematic sin 554 00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,462 stems from the outer reaches 555 00:39:42,546 --> 00:39:45,590 of planet taboo. 556 00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:48,927 So buckle up your seat belts... 557 00:39:49,011 --> 00:39:50,261 Hey! 558 00:39:50,346 --> 00:39:52,472 Hello? 559 00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,140 Dude, fuck-head, my door! 560 00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,142 There's your fucking popcorn. 561 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,435 Thanks, Ryan! 562 00:39:57,520 --> 00:39:59,104 Penis. 563 00:39:59,188 --> 00:40:04,651 About to unleash the fantastic furry fury 564 00:40:04,735 --> 00:40:10,240 ofl was a teenage werebear. 565 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,588 Mark the shark rocking down the pch 566 00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,298 with nbh. 567 00:40:27,383 --> 00:40:30,093 Yeah, baby, Bobby vinton. 568 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:45,108 Peggy Lou, if you keep groping like an octopus 569 00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,777 I'm gonna have to tell you 570 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:50,113 Now I'm gonna make you love me like Elvis. 571 00:40:50,156 --> 00:40:51,698 Geezz, me just met last week 572 00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,491 ain't you ever heard of taking it slow? 573 00:40:53,576 --> 00:40:55,785 Slow is for old-fashioned girls, 574 00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,163 not a modern woman like me, now get over here. 575 00:40:58,247 --> 00:40:59,956 Are all the girls in Malibu like you? 576 00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:02,250 Ricky, don't you like boobies? 577 00:41:02,334 --> 00:41:03,334 Hey, Ricky! 578 00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:05,295 President Kennedy 579 00:41:05,379 --> 00:41:08,381 says we're going to the moon! 580 00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,385 I see you finally found your pot of gold, son. 581 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,679 Hi, Mr. O'Reilly. Hi, Jimmy. 582 00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:17,223 Top 'o the mornin' to ya ias. I bless you child, 583 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,809 for finally putting Irish whiskey 584 00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:21,519 Cut it, dad. Nothing happened. 585 00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:23,605 Rickie's mother, god rest her soul, 586 00:41:23,689 --> 00:41:26,566 never was much for Irish whiskey, if you know what I mean. 587 00:41:26,650 --> 00:41:28,401 Oh, you poor old thing. 588 00:41:28,486 --> 00:41:30,862 It's been a long, lonely life. 589 00:41:30,946 --> 00:41:32,655 Everybody, shut up! 590 00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,534 What are you two even doing here, anyway? 591 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,579 You forgot your lunch for school on the beach day, dumdum. 592 00:41:41,248 --> 00:41:45,877 Oh, you're tearing me apart! 593 00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:53,551 I swear, I'll never be like my old man. 594 00:41:53,636 --> 00:41:55,845 He's such a perv. 595 00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:57,680 Oh, rickie, he isn't all that bad 596 00:41:57,723 --> 00:42:00,141 he just wants what's best for his son. 597 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:04,270 I just don't wanna be another washed up jock slash war vet like him. 598 00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,022 There's more to life. 599 00:42:06,106 --> 00:42:09,943 No, there's more to me than, 600 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:13,363 bouncing balls 601 00:42:13,447 --> 00:42:14,864 More to life than us? 602 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:19,953 Ricky Patrick O'Reilly, you're doing it again. 603 00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:21,788 Doing what? 604 00:42:21,872 --> 00:42:24,082 You're looking away. 605 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:34,634 Is it something I do it it something I say, 606 00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:38,555 every time I'm with you I see you looking away 607 00:42:38,597 --> 00:42:42,225 they say the eyes are the soul, doorway straight to your heart 608 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,143 if you won't ever stay close 609 00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:48,189 it's like I just cut a fart 610 00:42:50,192 --> 00:42:53,403 don't look away, baby 611 00:42:53,445 --> 00:42:56,823 please, don't look away 612 00:42:56,907 --> 00:43:00,285 stare me straight in the eyes 613 00:43:00,369 --> 00:43:04,664 with our hands between my thighs 614 00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:09,377 so please don't look away 615 00:43:16,802 --> 00:43:20,179 baby give me some time so I can make up my mind 616 00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:21,931 just know that it isn't you 617 00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:23,933 these feelings make me so blue 618 00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,935 I'm trying real hard to find 619 00:43:25,978 --> 00:43:27,687 the one that makes me feel right 620 00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,647 till then I guess that it's you 621 00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:32,692 that's just the best I can do 622 00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:37,196 so I look away, baby 623 00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:40,617 I guess I'll look away 624 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:44,495 I can't take our eyes 625 00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:48,041 for you might see the lies 626 00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:53,546 so I will look away 627 00:43:56,842 --> 00:43:58,635 don't look away 628 00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,553 I think I'll look away 629 00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:00,553 I think I'll look away 630 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,180 please don't look away 631 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,180 please don't look away 632 00:44:02,264 --> 00:44:04,307 I guess I'll look away 633 00:44:02,264 --> 00:44:04,307 I guess I'll look away 634 00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,559 stare me straight in the eye 635 00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,559 stare me straight in the eye 636 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,144 I can't take your eyes 637 00:44:06,644 --> 00:44:08,144 I can't take your eyes 638 00:44:08,228 --> 00:44:10,063 place your hands between my thighs 639 00:44:08,228 --> 00:44:10,063 place your hands between my thighs 640 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:12,690 for you might see the lies 641 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:12,690 for you might see the lies 642 00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,654 don't look away 643 00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:17,654 don't look away 644 00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,489 I think I'll look away 645 00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,489 I think I'll look away 646 00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:21,658 tear me up inside 647 00:44:19,573 --> 00:44:21,658 tear me up inside 648 00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:24,410 you make me wanna go hide 649 00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:24,410 you make me wanna go hide 650 00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,914 I think I'll look away 651 00:44:24,495 --> 00:44:27,914 I think I'll look away 652 00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:40,259 You saved me. 653 00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:40,259 You saved me. 654 00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,345 Quite observant. 655 00:44:40,344 --> 00:44:42,345 Quite observant. 656 00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:46,015 Whoa. You dented my bronco. 657 00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:46,015 Whoa. You dented my bronco. 658 00:44:46,058 --> 00:44:47,433 You dented her. 659 00:44:46,058 --> 00:44:47,433 You dented her. 660 00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:51,104 I got a boo boo. 661 00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:51,104 I got a boo boo. 662 00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:53,773 I see the new kid's making nice with the other team. 663 00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:53,773 I see the new kid's making nice with the other team. 664 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,734 What team would that be, butch? 665 00:44:53,857 --> 00:44:56,734 What team would that be, butch? 666 00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,778 The team 667 00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,778 The team 668 00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:01,656 no god-fearing red-blooded American 669 00:44:58,862 --> 00:45:01,656 no god-fearing red-blooded American 670 00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:03,950 would be caught dead playing for. 671 00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:03,950 would be caught dead playing for. 672 00:45:04,034 --> 00:45:05,576 I toss balls with the boys. 673 00:45:04,034 --> 00:45:05,576 I toss balls with the boys. 674 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:08,454 Exactly. 675 00:45:05,661 --> 00:45:08,454 Exactly. 676 00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,918 Look, butch. She needs help. 677 00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,918 Look, butch. She needs help. 678 00:45:14,002 --> 00:45:17,130 The kind of help that bird needs ain't gonna come 679 00:45:14,002 --> 00:45:17,130 The kind of help that bird needs ain't gonna come 680 00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,757 from a Melvin like you. 681 00:45:17,214 --> 00:45:19,757 from a Melvin like you. 682 00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,050 Ooooh. 683 00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,050 Ooooh. 684 00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:26,597 See ya in class, bitch sticks. 685 00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:26,597 See ya in class, bitch sticks. 686 00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:31,060 She don't look so good. 687 00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:31,060 She don't look so good. 688 00:45:31,103 --> 00:45:32,520 I've seen worse. 689 00:45:31,103 --> 00:45:32,520 I've seen worse. 690 00:45:34,022 --> 00:45:36,065 I don't know how to thank you. 691 00:45:34,022 --> 00:45:36,065 I don't know how to thank you. 692 00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:39,444 You'll think of something. They always think of something. 693 00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:39,444 You'll think of something. They always think of something. 694 00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:41,487 Wait. What's your names? 695 00:45:39,528 --> 00:45:41,487 Wait. What's your names? 696 00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:47,160 Talon. Dan. Den. 697 00:45:43,490 --> 00:45:47,160 Talon. Dan. Den. 698 00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:48,286 I'm... 699 00:45:47,244 --> 00:45:48,286 I'm... 700 00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:50,663 Ricky. We know. 701 00:45:48,370 --> 00:45:50,663 Ricky. We know. 702 00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:08,598 You did good bringing her to me. 703 00:46:05,095 --> 00:46:08,598 You did good bringing her to me. 704 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:12,518 With a little snoozze she'll be a-okay. 705 00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:12,518 With a little snoozze she'll be a-okay. 706 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,771 Shouldn't we bring her to the hospital? 707 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:14,771 Shouldn't we bring her to the hospital? 708 00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,190 You got a pee pee stick it in my poo poo 709 00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,190 You got a pee pee stick it in my poo poo 710 00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,108 make it go boom! 711 00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,108 make it go boom! 712 00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:23,321 The brains, they spill a little bit crazzy. She fine. 713 00:46:19,193 --> 00:46:23,321 The brains, they spill a little bit crazzy. She fine. 714 00:46:23,405 --> 00:46:27,992 Ricky. Ricky. 715 00:46:23,405 --> 00:46:27,992 Ricky. Ricky. 716 00:46:31,246 --> 00:46:34,624 Go away, you nasty beasty! 717 00:46:31,246 --> 00:46:34,624 Go away, you nasty beasty! 718 00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:39,295 Take your filthy vermin with you. Shoo! Shoo! 719 00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:39,295 Take your filthy vermin with you. Shoo! Shoo! 720 00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,617 Shoo! 721 00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,617 Shoo! 722 00:47:09,701 --> 00:47:11,661 Shoo! 723 00:47:09,701 --> 00:47:11,661 Shoo! 724 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:17,208 Take your foul animules with you. Shoo. Shoo. 725 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:17,208 Take your foul animules with you. Shoo. Shoo. 726 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:21,170 You stay away from those kind. 727 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:21,170 You stay away from those kind. 728 00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:24,215 Yeah, well those kind saved me. 729 00:47:21,213 --> 00:47:24,215 Yeah, well those kind saved me. 730 00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:02,295 So big bad butch ain't so bad after all. 731 00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:02,295 So big bad butch ain't so bad after all. 732 00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,297 Aw, the heck with that, coach! 733 00:48:02,379 --> 00:48:04,297 Aw, the heck with that, coach! 734 00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:06,549 Tinker bell didn't pin me. 735 00:48:04,381 --> 00:48:06,549 Tinker bell didn't pin me. 736 00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:08,342 I was distracted. 737 00:48:06,633 --> 00:48:08,342 I was distracted. 738 00:48:09,928 --> 00:48:11,155 All right. Who's next? 739 00:48:09,928 --> 00:48:11,155 All right. Who's next? 740 00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,972 Me. 741 00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,972 Me. 742 00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:16,475 Oh, so I see Mr. Ducktale 743 00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:16,475 Oh, so I see Mr. Ducktale 744 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,645 finally decided to join us in class this semester. 745 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,645 finally decided to join us in class this semester. 746 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,647 Couldn't get a note from your quack? 747 00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,647 Couldn't get a note from your quack? 748 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,107 Them two are sweet on each other. 749 00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:23,107 Them two are sweet on each other. 750 00:48:23,191 --> 00:48:24,942 Take that back, butch! 751 00:48:23,191 --> 00:48:24,942 Take that back, butch! 752 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,403 Yo! Yo! Save it for the mat. 753 00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,403 Yo! Yo! Save it for the mat. 754 00:48:27,487 --> 00:48:28,821 I don't mind if I do. 755 00:48:27,487 --> 00:48:28,821 I don't mind if I do. 756 00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,289 Give in, Rick. 757 00:48:36,997 --> 00:48:38,289 Give in, Rick. 758 00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,415 Give in to me. 759 00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,415 Give in to me. 760 00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:40,750 Never! 761 00:48:39,499 --> 00:48:40,750 Never! 762 00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,168 You can run from me 763 00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,168 You can run from me 764 00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:45,588 but you can't run from yourself. 765 00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:45,588 but you can't run from yourself. 766 00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:47,340 Get off me now! 767 00:48:45,631 --> 00:48:47,340 Get off me now! 768 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,265 Yo, what did I tell you about biting? 769 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,265 Yo, what did I tell you about biting? 770 00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,935 Sorry, coach, I skipped breakfast. 771 00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,935 Sorry, coach, I skipped breakfast. 772 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:02,647 Skipped breakfast? Wiseguy, huh? Okay, three mile run everybody 773 00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:02,647 Skipped breakfast? Wiseguy, huh? Okay, three mile run everybody 774 00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:04,690 you can all thank wiseguy over here. 775 00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:04,690 you can all thank wiseguy over here. 776 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,108 Everybody let's go. 777 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,108 Everybody let's go. 778 00:49:06,151 --> 00:49:08,319 Come on. Get go. Get going. 779 00:49:06,151 --> 00:49:08,319 Come on. Get go. Get going. 780 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,710 I got a feeling 781 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,710 I got a feeling 782 00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,797 a feeling that I'm gonna explode 783 00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,797 a feeling that I'm gonna explode 784 00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:31,092 yes, I've got this feeling 785 00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:31,092 yes, I've got this feeling 786 00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:35,304 how much longer must I hold my load? 787 00:49:31,176 --> 00:49:35,304 how much longer must I hold my load? 788 00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:41,644 Oh, what do I do? 789 00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:41,644 Oh, what do I do? 790 00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,565 Purge this urge 791 00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,565 Purge this urge 792 00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:49,902 oh, god, I really gotta purge this urge 793 00:49:46,650 --> 00:49:49,902 oh, god, I really gotta purge this urge 794 00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:52,697 if nothing else I've gotta purge 795 00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:52,697 if nothing else I've gotta purge 796 00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,199 this urge 797 00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,199 this urge 798 00:49:55,283 --> 00:49:58,327 ooh ooh 799 00:49:55,283 --> 00:49:58,327 ooh ooh 800 00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,748 purge this urge 801 00:50:00,998 --> 00:50:02,748 purge this urge 802 00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:06,627 the time is coming 803 00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:06,627 the time is coming 804 00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:10,923 when I gotta choose 805 00:50:09,172 --> 00:50:10,923 when I gotta choose 806 00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:13,050 there's no more hiding 807 00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:13,050 there's no more hiding 808 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:17,972 no more playing by the boss man's rules 809 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:17,972 no more playing by the boss man's rules 810 00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:24,311 I've got to find my own way 811 00:50:19,850 --> 00:50:24,311 I've got to find my own way 812 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,482 purge this urge! 813 00:50:27,274 --> 00:50:28,482 purge this urge! 814 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,611 Is there something you wanna talk about, kid? 815 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,611 Is there something you wanna talk about, kid? 816 00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,615 My mother, before she died, 817 00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,615 My mother, before she died, 818 00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,410 she said, "Ricky, 819 00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,410 she said, "Ricky, 820 00:50:39,494 --> 00:50:43,247 always be true to yourself". And I try to be. 821 00:50:39,494 --> 00:50:43,247 always be true to yourself". And I try to be. 822 00:50:43,331 --> 00:50:48,169 But I get these feelings. 823 00:50:43,331 --> 00:50:48,169 But I get these feelings. 824 00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:51,630 Uh, these, urges. 825 00:50:48,253 --> 00:50:51,630 Uh, these, urges. 826 00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:58,220 And they feel true, they feel so right. 827 00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:58,220 And they feel true, they feel so right. 828 00:50:58,263 --> 00:51:01,557 But, 829 00:50:58,263 --> 00:51:01,557 But, 830 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,476 so wrong. 831 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,476 so wrong. 832 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,562 Ricky, it may come as a surprise to you, kid. 833 00:51:03,560 --> 00:51:06,562 Ricky, it may come as a surprise to you, kid. 834 00:51:06,646 --> 00:51:09,732 Coach tuffman gets those kind of urges too. 835 00:51:06,646 --> 00:51:09,732 Coach tuffman gets those kind of urges too. 836 00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:12,485 You don't think I, 837 00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:12,485 You don't think I, 838 00:51:12,569 --> 00:51:15,404 Watch you guys shower after class? 839 00:51:12,569 --> 00:51:15,404 Watch you guys shower after class? 840 00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:18,491 Soaping up your biceps, 841 00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:18,491 Soaping up your biceps, 842 00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:19,992 your abs, 843 00:51:18,575 --> 00:51:19,992 your abs, 844 00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:21,660 glutes. 845 00:51:20,077 --> 00:51:21,660 glutes. 846 00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:24,455 Whoa. I think it's time for me to bug out. 847 00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:24,455 Whoa. I think it's time for me to bug out. 848 00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:26,999 Ricky, sit down. Relax. 849 00:51:24,539 --> 00:51:26,999 Ricky, sit down. Relax. 850 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,502 This is between me and you, right? 851 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,502 This is between me and you, right? 852 00:51:29,586 --> 00:51:34,256 I'm gonna do something for you my wife will never do for me. 853 00:51:29,586 --> 00:51:34,256 I'm gonna do something for you my wife will never do for me. 854 00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:36,175 That dusty old wench. 855 00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:36,175 That dusty old wench. 856 00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:39,303 Hey! 857 00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:39,303 Hey! 858 00:51:58,698 --> 00:52:01,033 Tastes like chicken, huh, babe? 859 00:51:58,698 --> 00:52:01,033 Tastes like chicken, huh, babe? 860 00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,168 I don't know what's happening to me. 861 00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,168 I don't know what's happening to me. 862 00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:15,172 It's as if suddenly I have this strength, that, like... 863 00:52:11,253 --> 00:52:15,172 It's as if suddenly I have this strength, that, like... 864 00:52:15,257 --> 00:52:17,508 Of a grizzzzly? 865 00:52:15,257 --> 00:52:17,508 Of a grizzzzly? 866 00:52:17,592 --> 00:52:20,553 Listen. Don't have a cow. 867 00:52:17,592 --> 00:52:20,553 Listen. Don't have a cow. 868 00:52:20,637 --> 00:52:23,055 We got your back. 869 00:52:20,637 --> 00:52:23,055 We got your back. 870 00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,057 You did this. 871 00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,057 You did this. 872 00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:29,645 It was your bite! My ass! 873 00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:29,645 It was your bite! My ass! 874 00:52:29,729 --> 00:52:33,858 What? What are you? 875 00:52:29,729 --> 00:52:33,858 What? What are you? 876 00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,986 The same as you. 877 00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:36,986 The same as you. 878 00:52:37,028 --> 00:52:39,488 Oooh. 879 00:52:37,028 --> 00:52:39,488 Oooh. 880 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,782 Look who we've got here. 881 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,782 Look who we've got here. 882 00:52:41,867 --> 00:52:44,243 Clean up for coach like good little boys? 883 00:52:41,867 --> 00:52:44,243 Clean up for coach like good little boys? 884 00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:46,370 More like cleaning up coach. 885 00:52:44,327 --> 00:52:46,370 More like cleaning up coach. 886 00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:51,834 Time to teach the fairy brigade a lesson. 887 00:52:53,044 --> 00:52:54,378 Ugh. 888 00:52:54,462 --> 00:52:56,172 My pops told me 889 00:52:56,256 --> 00:52:58,507 this is how you teach lessons to pansies 890 00:53:00,093 --> 00:53:03,095 sounds like pops knows how to party. 891 00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,388 Leave him alone, butch! 892 00:53:04,472 --> 00:53:06,765 Shut up, Nancy boy! 893 00:53:06,850 --> 00:53:08,225 You're next. 894 00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:10,603 Gentlemen. 895 00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:13,898 Plug him up! Plug him up! Plug him up! 896 00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:17,568 Plug him up! Plug him up! Plug him up! 897 00:53:17,652 --> 00:53:19,737 This is for you, Jesus. 898 00:53:21,156 --> 00:53:25,868 Plug him up! Plug him up! 899 00:53:27,704 --> 00:53:30,080 Plug him up! Plug him up! 900 00:53:32,751 --> 00:53:34,126 Plug him up! 901 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,766 You okay, dude? 902 00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:53,729 Man, I was just playing. 903 00:53:53,813 --> 00:53:55,314 It was just a joke. 904 00:53:55,398 --> 00:53:57,733 It's a party, daddy os! 905 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:06,242 Ugh! 906 00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:28,055 I never promised I'd be gentle. 907 00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:37,523 Now you know what we are. And what you are! 908 00:54:37,607 --> 00:54:39,441 No. I'm not like any of you. 909 00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:46,824 Angsty little dude. 910 00:54:49,077 --> 00:54:50,953 My darling. It's good for your head. 911 00:54:51,037 --> 00:54:52,871 Call me, sybill! 912 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,373 Nurse maleva, you've gotta help me. 913 00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:56,959 Just calm down. Tell me everything. 914 00:54:57,043 --> 00:54:58,877 You were right. Talon, the twins, 915 00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:01,672 they're not just different, they're... they're... 916 00:55:01,756 --> 00:55:03,382 Werebears. 917 00:55:03,466 --> 00:55:04,800 Werebears! 918 00:55:04,884 --> 00:55:06,343 I'm sorry. I don't understand. 919 00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:10,639 Where I am from, there is old saying 920 00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:14,226 even a boy who thinks he's straight 921 00:55:14,311 --> 00:55:16,812 yet shaves his balls by night, 922 00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:20,482 may become a werebear from the hormones of age 923 00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,819 and the latent urge takes flight. 924 00:55:23,903 --> 00:55:25,446 So you're saying... 925 00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,073 Once bitten, anytime you get aroused, 926 00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:30,326 you become that which bit you. 927 00:55:30,368 --> 00:55:31,768 And you attack those you lust after. 928 00:55:31,828 --> 00:55:33,370 Lust after? 929 00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:38,167 I think you know what I'm talking about. 930 00:55:39,961 --> 00:55:41,337 Homo! 931 00:55:41,421 --> 00:55:43,714 No. I am not a homo! 932 00:55:43,798 --> 00:55:47,009 I'm a, werebear. 933 00:56:03,651 --> 00:56:05,027 Looking for these? 934 00:56:09,824 --> 00:56:11,200 I'm going to the police. 935 00:56:11,284 --> 00:56:14,203 Well, don't forget to tell them 936 00:56:14,287 --> 00:56:16,622 what you did to good old coach tuffman. 937 00:56:16,706 --> 00:56:18,374 He was trying to molest me. 938 00:56:18,416 --> 00:56:20,125 Ricky. Ricky. Ricky. 939 00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:21,794 You can't molest the willing. 940 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:30,886 You're such a cub, Ricky. All show and no go. 941 00:56:30,929 --> 00:56:34,807 Who's talking about not being like everybody else, you just wanna be you. 942 00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:36,809 This is you. 943 00:56:36,893 --> 00:56:40,604 No. You did this to me. 944 00:56:40,688 --> 00:56:43,399 You could ask yourself a question, brother. 945 00:56:43,441 --> 00:56:47,319 Did the bite put the beast in you? 946 00:56:47,404 --> 00:56:49,863 Or let it out. 947 00:56:59,916 --> 00:57:04,628 love, love, love bit me on the ass 948 00:57:04,712 --> 00:57:07,089 love bit me on the ass 949 00:57:07,132 --> 00:57:09,341 it got me by surprise 950 00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:11,593 love bit me on the ass 951 00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:14,138 took teeth to realizze 952 00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:16,932 that I'm just a lonely boy 953 00:57:17,016 --> 00:57:19,268 yes, deep down I'm blue 954 00:57:19,352 --> 00:57:21,687 but when I'm unleash the beast 955 00:57:21,771 --> 00:57:24,356 to myself I'm true 956 00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:32,441 love, love, love, bit me on the ass 957 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,785 love bit me on the ass 958 00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:39,288 bit me deep down too 959 00:57:39,372 --> 00:57:41,457 love bit me on the ass 960 00:57:41,499 --> 00:57:43,459 but no way am I like you 961 00:57:43,501 --> 00:57:46,462 I may be quite different 962 00:57:46,546 --> 00:57:48,380 but I am not a beast 963 00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:51,383 I just want to cuddle 964 00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:53,760 and you just wanna feast 965 00:57:53,845 --> 00:58:01,845 love, love, love, bit me on the ass 966 00:58:24,209 --> 00:58:27,002 love, love, love 967 00:58:33,801 --> 00:58:38,013 Meet me tonight at the luau. It's gonna be a bloodbath. 968 00:58:38,097 --> 00:58:41,558 What do you mean with "bloodbath"? 969 00:58:41,643 --> 00:58:45,062 It means that the guys are gonna shake things up at the school dance. 970 00:58:45,146 --> 00:58:48,524 Payback time for those small-minded haters. 971 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,527 I can't be part of that, Talon. 972 00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,278 You can't be part of that. 973 00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:56,114 This is not how you gain acceptance. 974 00:58:59,410 --> 00:59:04,998 Well, then I guess I'll see ya when I'll see ya. 975 00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:29,398 I saw you dancing 976 00:59:29,482 --> 00:59:32,609 barefoot in the sand 977 00:59:36,447 --> 00:59:41,243 I can love you like no other can 978 00:59:41,327 --> 00:59:46,248 sexy ways sexy ways 979 00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:50,836 sexy ways sexy ways 980 00:59:58,469 --> 01:00:02,514 You've all given us such a warm welcome this first week at school. 981 01:00:02,599 --> 01:00:05,267 You definitely deserve this next number, it's, uh, 982 01:00:05,351 --> 01:00:08,353 it's pretty bear-tastic. 983 01:00:20,783 --> 01:00:24,161 well, we got a new dance it's the hit of the land 984 01:00:27,081 --> 01:00:30,709 all you gotta do is thrust when you stand 985 01:00:32,629 --> 01:00:35,881 [indistinct]A squeal, a grunt, and a squirt 986 01:00:38,134 --> 01:00:43,305 yeah, it's called the warebear and it just might hurt 987 01:00:43,348 --> 01:00:45,641 let's do the werebear 988 01:00:45,725 --> 01:00:49,478 and let the werebear do you 989 01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:52,356 let's do the werebear 990 01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:56,652 right here in Malibu 991 01:00:59,572 --> 01:01:01,615 Yeah! 992 01:01:01,699 --> 01:01:05,494 Sweeping the nation just like civil rights werebear 993 01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:10,374 it's the latest sensation for long long lonely nights 994 01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:12,626 werebear 995 01:01:12,710 --> 01:01:14,670 I knew you would come, son. 996 01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:17,005 Four, three, two, thrust 997 01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:19,549 I know now what I must do, maleva. 998 01:01:19,634 --> 01:01:21,593 Three, thrust 999 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:25,847 I wanna do it again let's do the werebear 1000 01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:29,393 and let the werebear do you 1001 01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,687 let's do the werebear 1002 01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:36,233 right here in Malibu 1003 01:01:39,946 --> 01:01:41,238 Yeah! 1004 01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:44,282 One, two, three, thrust 1005 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,871 one, two, three, thrust one, two, three, thrust 1006 01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:52,749 do it again 1007 01:01:54,669 --> 01:01:59,047 one, two, three, thrust oh, it never has to end 1008 01:01:59,132 --> 01:02:01,967 one, two, three, thrust one, two, three, thrust 1009 01:02:05,471 --> 01:02:07,389 one, two, three, thrust, oh! 1010 01:02:07,473 --> 01:02:08,598 Everybody gather round 1011 01:02:10,476 --> 01:02:12,978 you better not let this madness go down 1012 01:02:13,062 --> 01:02:16,982 they got good lines they fuck real good 1013 01:02:17,066 --> 01:02:21,653 but they just want to make you their food 1014 01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,032 Yeah! 1015 01:02:30,496 --> 01:02:33,749 Violence and hatred is not the answer. 1016 01:02:33,833 --> 01:02:38,336 If we are to be accepted we must show love and tolerance. 1017 01:02:38,421 --> 01:02:41,381 There are human beings out there, Talon. 1018 01:02:41,466 --> 01:02:43,675 Not snacks. 1019 01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:48,513 Nice speech, Gandhi. 1020 01:02:48,598 --> 01:02:51,850 But we're hungry! 1021 01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:08,325 I freed you from a life of conformity. 1022 01:03:08,409 --> 01:03:11,453 I unleashed you from the mundane. 1023 01:03:15,416 --> 01:03:19,002 You chained me to a life of bloodloss! 1024 01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,501 Help me, maleva! 1025 01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:06,550 Yes, Ricky. You know what to do. 1026 01:04:23,526 --> 01:04:25,902 Maybe... 1027 01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:29,781 I should've been more like you. 1028 01:04:29,866 --> 01:04:33,118 We can change the world together. 1029 01:04:33,202 --> 01:04:35,120 You still can. 1030 01:04:35,204 --> 01:04:39,040 Go get 'em, kid. 1031 01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,042 Make sure 1032 01:04:41,085 --> 01:04:44,838 you tell them that I'm not a monster. 1033 01:04:46,924 --> 01:04:50,010 You know, werebears need love too. 1034 01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,662 Wow. Not enough gay. 1035 01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:21,166 Yeah, I mean, de palma, ripping this off for carrey? 1036 01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:23,293 Why are you surprised? It's de palma. 1037 01:05:23,377 --> 01:05:26,922 What... what I don't get, is if they just shaved their chests 1038 01:05:26,964 --> 01:05:28,924 wouldn't their curse be lifted? 1039 01:05:28,966 --> 01:05:31,468 I mean, that's what it took to be a werebear. Right? 1040 01:05:31,552 --> 01:05:33,428 Uh. Sure. 1041 01:05:33,512 --> 01:05:35,532 I feel like I would've used something less invasive. 1042 01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:38,350 You know, like, instead of a dildo, maybe a silver razzor. 1043 01:05:40,186 --> 01:05:42,354 What was that? 1044 01:05:42,438 --> 01:05:45,273 That's what scientists refer to as the one cheek sneak. 1045 01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:48,276 Anyone want anything from the concession stand? 1046 01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:49,421 I'm gonna go talk to Mr. K. 1047 01:05:49,445 --> 01:05:50,946 I'm good. 1048 01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,822 Nah, just bring desi back if you can. 1049 01:05:52,907 --> 01:05:55,617 Yeah, sure, I'll be right back. 1050 01:06:09,131 --> 01:06:11,216 Is it hot in here or is it just me? 1051 01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:13,093 It's you. 1052 01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:19,015 How 'bout you sideburns, want some of this milk it may cool you off? 1053 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,767 I'd rather have a beer. 1054 01:06:20,851 --> 01:06:22,644 Nice. 1055 01:06:22,728 --> 01:06:24,646 Okay. Saw you, Mr. Cockblock. 1056 01:06:26,148 --> 01:06:28,024 Hey, is there any popcorn left? 1057 01:06:28,109 --> 01:06:30,902 Fresh out. 1058 01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:32,988 Want me to get some more before the next flick? 1059 01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:34,906 Yeah. I'll just be here getting manhandled. 1060 01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:36,658 Really? 1061 01:06:40,705 --> 01:06:42,831 Oh. I could just eat you up. 1062 01:06:42,915 --> 01:06:47,335 It's all over, darling 1063 01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:48,670 because I... 1064 01:06:50,172 --> 01:06:51,673 Hey, Mr. K. How you holding up? 1065 01:06:51,716 --> 01:06:53,383 Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1066 01:06:53,467 --> 01:06:55,093 Boy, dammit. 1067 01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:56,720 Does anybody knock anymore? 1068 01:06:56,804 --> 01:06:58,054 I'm an old man here. 1069 01:06:58,139 --> 01:06:59,305 Mr. K., I'm sorry, sir, I... 1070 01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:00,932 Don't apologizze. 1071 01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:04,519 Put, put, put, put your hands down, son. 1072 01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,939 Wow. Thanks for the six heart attacks. 1073 01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:10,358 Do you have a minute to talk. I, I need to. 1074 01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:14,612 Well, sure thing. But, uh, go over to the projector first 1075 01:07:14,697 --> 01:07:16,698 and flip on my call, okay? 1076 01:07:16,782 --> 01:07:18,908 Yeah, you got it, Mr. K. 1077 01:07:22,705 --> 01:07:28,251 Welcome back, boyls and ghouls. 1078 01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:33,923 Anybody not off to eternal slumber yet? 1079 01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:41,306 Tonight they will bask in the glory of the unconventional. 1080 01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:44,726 Spit in the eye of morality 1081 01:07:44,810 --> 01:07:48,688 and feast on the art of the damned. 1082 01:07:48,773 --> 01:07:51,983 With a film that will test your tastes 1083 01:07:52,068 --> 01:07:56,946 and rock the very fabric of your senses! 1084 01:07:57,031 --> 01:08:01,409 And first, it's time to bear witness 1085 01:08:01,494 --> 01:08:04,621 to the Bible of bad taste, 1086 01:08:04,705 --> 01:08:09,918 the diary of Anne Frankenstein! 1087 01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:32,750 Sh. 1088 01:12:43,108 --> 01:12:44,442 Heil, Hitler! 1089 01:12:49,948 --> 01:12:51,574 Scheisse. 1090 01:13:23,524 --> 01:13:24,774 Boop! 1091 01:14:10,612 --> 01:14:11,654 Poofta. 1092 01:15:36,031 --> 01:15:37,156 Heil, Hitler! 1093 01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:23,512 Oh, mein gott. 1094 01:20:39,960 --> 01:20:41,168 Heil, Hitler! 1095 01:20:53,765 --> 01:20:55,516 Meshugannah. 1096 01:20:58,645 --> 01:20:59,854 Huh? 1097 01:22:46,086 --> 01:22:47,586 Nein! 1098 01:23:25,875 --> 01:23:28,669 What the fuck? 1099 01:26:10,498 --> 01:26:11,707 Oh! 1100 01:27:23,613 --> 01:27:25,739 What is it? 1101 01:27:25,782 --> 01:27:28,575 More popcorn? 1102 01:27:28,618 --> 01:27:32,079 two hot popcorns mix it up, wrap it up 1103 01:27:32,121 --> 01:27:34,206 butter it up 1104 01:27:36,834 --> 01:27:39,836 I got big plans for you, baby. 1105 01:27:39,921 --> 01:27:41,630 Nice. Nice. 1106 01:27:41,714 --> 01:27:42,839 You like that, baby? 1107 01:27:42,924 --> 01:27:44,299 Hm. Yeah. 1108 01:27:44,384 --> 01:27:47,177 Loads of possibilities. 1109 01:27:47,262 --> 01:27:51,181 24.000 square feet, Starbucks, 1110 01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:54,685 food court, oh, I get hard just thinking about it. 1111 01:27:54,769 --> 01:27:57,813 Yeah. 1112 01:27:57,897 --> 01:28:00,440 Hm. That's good. Hm. 1113 01:28:00,525 --> 01:28:03,235 Oh. So, so good. 1114 01:28:03,319 --> 01:28:05,195 Hm. Delicious. 1115 01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:08,615 Hey. Are you enjoying my mouth or the fucking popcorn? 1116 01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,117 Well, both, baby. 1117 01:28:10,201 --> 01:28:12,536 It's kind of a big fantasy for me. 1118 01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:15,455 Well, are you sure? 'Cause it seems you're getting all orgasmic 1119 01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:16,873 about your fucking snacks. 1120 01:28:20,503 --> 01:28:23,380 Jesus, are you okay? 1121 01:28:23,464 --> 01:28:25,257 Yeah, just, uh, I feel hot. Kinda hot. 1122 01:28:25,341 --> 01:28:27,509 Don't stop. Come on. 1123 01:28:27,593 --> 01:28:30,721 Okay. Tell me when you're gonna pop. You know I don't like the taste. 1124 01:28:30,805 --> 01:28:32,973 Yeah. Yeah. Ugh. 1125 01:28:47,822 --> 01:28:49,323 What... 1126 01:29:12,221 --> 01:29:14,431 More head. 1127 01:29:30,323 --> 01:29:31,198 What the fuck? 1128 01:29:32,533 --> 01:29:33,742 I just washed this car. 1129 01:29:33,826 --> 01:29:35,285 He's got blue slushies! 1130 01:29:35,370 --> 01:29:37,704 Oh! I'm like freaking out right now! 1131 01:29:37,789 --> 01:29:39,373 All right. What were we talking about? 1132 01:29:39,415 --> 01:29:41,458 Tobe. I should probably go... 1133 01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:43,543 Talk to tobe. 1134 01:29:43,628 --> 01:29:46,046 I think you should talk to him. That's my piece. 1135 01:29:46,089 --> 01:29:49,800 That's fine! Screw it! Just tell me how it begins. 1136 01:29:49,884 --> 01:29:52,969 Roger Wilco. Red five. Standing by. 1137 01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,638 Hm. Nerdy one. 1138 01:29:54,722 --> 01:29:56,139 Yeah, and you getting that line 1139 01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,599 makes you one of the good ones. 1140 01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:03,271 Which makes me, the final girl. 1141 01:30:06,818 --> 01:30:08,944 And now, on with the show. 1142 01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:16,827 Well, my chilly chillens, 1143 01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:21,915 I hope you're still with us for the long [indistinct] 1144 01:30:28,005 --> 01:30:33,593 For this popular abomination you've all been waiting for. 1145 01:30:33,636 --> 01:30:37,681 The final sinful centerpiece, 1146 01:30:37,765 --> 01:30:40,851 of our last evening together. 1147 01:30:40,935 --> 01:30:43,353 Hey. 1148 01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:45,480 So, I need to get something off my chest. 1149 01:30:45,565 --> 01:30:47,482 I... I... 1150 01:30:47,567 --> 01:30:51,987 (Mr. K. You are gonna see some serious shit! 1151 01:30:52,071 --> 01:30:53,697 Whoa. 1152 01:30:53,781 --> 01:30:56,116 It's just like in the movies, huh? 1153 01:30:56,200 --> 01:30:58,452 I... I... 1154 01:30:58,536 --> 01:31:00,662 I got nothing. 1155 01:31:00,746 --> 01:31:04,708 The most vile and offensive 1156 01:31:04,792 --> 01:31:07,377 stock of celluloid. 1157 01:31:07,462 --> 01:31:12,966 Here is deathication. 1158 01:31:25,771 --> 01:31:27,647 Oh, hello. 1159 01:31:27,690 --> 01:31:29,065 I didn't see you there. 1160 01:31:29,150 --> 01:31:30,817 Come in, won't you? 1161 01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:37,657 Would you mind, uh, closing the door, please? 1162 01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:40,660 Thank you very much. 1163 01:31:40,703 --> 01:31:43,413 As I was saying, my name is Fernando phagabeefy. 1164 01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:46,082 Internationally known and respected film maker. 1165 01:31:46,167 --> 01:31:47,751 The visionary mastermind 1166 01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:49,878 behind notorious cinematic works such as, 1167 01:31:49,962 --> 01:31:51,171 the cunting death, 1168 01:31:51,214 --> 01:31:52,923 salo 2, the next day 1169 01:31:53,007 --> 01:31:55,842 and of course, Rosemary's picnic table. 1170 01:31:55,885 --> 01:31:57,385 I here now to present to you 1171 01:31:57,470 --> 01:31:59,638 my latest and greatest moving picture. 1172 01:31:59,722 --> 01:32:01,765 A film so scandalous, so intense, 1173 01:32:01,849 --> 01:32:04,017 that it was banned from every film festival 1174 01:32:04,101 --> 01:32:05,435 in fear of mass hysteria, 1175 01:32:05,520 --> 01:32:07,604 and destroyed seating. 1176 01:32:07,688 --> 01:32:09,898 The next 87 minutes you're about to endure 1177 01:32:09,982 --> 01:32:12,025 a motion picture I've directed called, 1178 01:32:12,109 --> 01:32:13,527 deathication, 1179 01:32:13,611 --> 01:32:15,445 comes with a very serious warning. 1180 01:32:15,530 --> 01:32:17,405 This film was specifically produced 1181 01:32:17,490 --> 01:32:20,033 to elicit the effect of pure terror on the audience 1182 01:32:20,076 --> 01:32:22,035 to a complete and total sensory immersion 1183 01:32:22,119 --> 01:32:23,703 to the images on screen 1184 01:32:23,788 --> 01:32:26,414 using the latest in cinematic technology. 1185 01:32:26,499 --> 01:32:28,792 The lights of which we can have revealed here 1186 01:32:28,876 --> 01:32:30,835 in fear of government confiscation. 1187 01:32:30,920 --> 01:32:33,964 The following visuals printed on this very film stock 1188 01:32:34,048 --> 01:32:37,259 are proven to cause a highly visceral, biological response 1189 01:32:37,343 --> 01:32:39,386 in the human nervous system in the most, 1190 01:32:39,470 --> 01:32:41,221 hm, nefarious of ways. 1191 01:32:44,308 --> 01:32:45,976 Oh, hello, doctor. 1192 01:32:46,060 --> 01:32:48,603 As you can see from our scientific results, 1193 01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:50,397 this photo realistic rendering 1194 01:32:50,439 --> 01:32:52,065 of one, the human body, 1195 01:32:52,149 --> 01:32:54,150 each and every frame of deathication 1196 01:32:54,235 --> 01:32:56,486 swiftly attacks the viewer's brainwaves, 1197 01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:59,072 rendering specific motor functions helpless 1198 01:32:59,115 --> 01:33:02,242 to the depravity that unfolds before your very eyes. 1199 01:33:02,285 --> 01:33:04,578 At any moment during the course of this film, 1200 01:33:04,662 --> 01:33:07,080 viewers have been know to suddenly and violently 1201 01:33:07,123 --> 01:33:08,790 release their bowels! 1202 01:33:08,874 --> 01:33:12,168 A collective explosion of hot, moist madness. 1203 01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:15,005 In other words, what you're about to see 1204 01:33:15,089 --> 01:33:16,840 will make you shit. A lot! 1205 01:33:16,924 --> 01:33:18,800 Buckets of excrement! 1206 01:33:18,884 --> 01:33:20,844 A river of ca ca will rage through this theater's 1207 01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:22,470 as one buttery floor. 1208 01:33:22,555 --> 01:33:24,639 You'll crap your slacks for days to come, 1209 01:33:24,724 --> 01:33:27,517 ruin many undergarments become severely dehydrated, 1210 01:33:27,602 --> 01:33:30,937 brave scorn at any social event or family gathering, 1211 01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:33,690 even suffer from a case of inflamed anal tissue 1212 01:33:33,774 --> 01:33:36,359 similar, to the effects of sodomy. 1213 01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:39,029 In other other words, this film 1214 01:33:39,113 --> 01:33:41,114 will rape you with your own feces. 1215 01:33:41,198 --> 01:33:42,616 And that, my friends, 1216 01:33:42,658 --> 01:33:46,202 is a Fernando phagabeefy promise. 1217 01:33:46,287 --> 01:33:48,663 With this warning in mind, by staying in this theatre, 1218 01:33:48,748 --> 01:33:50,832 you're releasing any rights and liability 1219 01:33:50,916 --> 01:33:54,044 against the film makers or the owner of this fine establishment 1220 01:33:54,128 --> 01:33:56,087 for any cleaning bills, shattered senses, 1221 01:33:56,172 --> 01:33:58,673 or exploded ovaries. So, for the safety of you, 1222 01:33:58,758 --> 01:34:00,759 those around you and the integrity 1223 01:34:00,843 --> 01:34:02,552 of your swimming trunks area, 1224 01:34:02,637 --> 01:34:05,513 please consider this your final warning. 1225 01:34:05,598 --> 01:34:07,724 Those in the audience who have a weak constitution 1226 01:34:07,808 --> 01:34:09,309 or a giant asshole, 1227 01:34:09,393 --> 01:34:11,394 should leave this theatre immediately! 1228 01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:13,396 Unless you are truly prepared 1229 01:34:13,481 --> 01:34:17,317 to experience the horrific effects of, deathication. 1230 01:34:17,401 --> 01:34:20,487 Because you can't scream if you're full of shit. 1231 01:35:20,005 --> 01:35:21,631 What the hell... 1232 01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:24,551 What is that? 1233 01:35:24,593 --> 01:35:26,428 I don't know. That's a first. 1234 01:35:28,389 --> 01:35:30,473 Do you think Mr. K's all right? 1235 01:35:30,558 --> 01:35:32,452 I don't know. I'm kind of worried about him. 1236 01:35:32,476 --> 01:35:34,477 He seemed a bit a mess about the whole thing, 1237 01:35:34,562 --> 01:35:35,478 and there was a gun. 1238 01:35:35,563 --> 01:35:37,605 What? A gun? 1239 01:35:37,690 --> 01:35:40,442 Look, I'll explain in a sec. Come on, let's go check him out. 1240 01:35:47,450 --> 01:35:48,450 Cecil! 1241 01:35:48,492 --> 01:35:49,743 Oh, my god. 1242 01:35:49,827 --> 01:35:51,578 You kids, get out of here! 1243 01:35:51,662 --> 01:35:53,246 What the hell, man? 1244 01:35:53,330 --> 01:35:54,664 Gun. 1245 01:35:57,418 --> 01:35:59,377 Dick, you're fired! 1246 01:36:01,088 --> 01:36:03,757 Boss! 1247 01:36:07,261 --> 01:36:09,763 What? You never saw robocop? 1248 01:36:09,847 --> 01:36:11,556 What the cripes was that, Mr. K? 1249 01:36:11,640 --> 01:36:14,058 I don't know. He just attacked me from behind. 1250 01:36:14,143 --> 01:36:16,811 Next thing I know, he's trying to pull my pants down. 1251 01:36:16,896 --> 01:36:19,814 I think he was trying to hide the baloney. 1252 01:36:19,899 --> 01:36:23,109 What's that blue stuff on him? 1253 01:36:23,194 --> 01:36:26,780 Wait, wait, wait. I saw that on somebody's shirt downstairs. 1254 01:36:26,822 --> 01:36:29,032 Wait! Did he bite you? He's totally a zzombie. 1255 01:36:29,116 --> 01:36:30,950 No. He came close but no cigar. I'm fine. 1256 01:36:31,035 --> 01:36:32,952 And you? 1257 01:36:33,037 --> 01:36:35,872 Actually, I'm kind of awesome, all things considering. 1258 01:36:35,956 --> 01:36:38,708 Well, let's check the 1259 01:36:38,793 --> 01:36:39,834 Look out! 1260 01:36:39,919 --> 01:36:40,835 Tobe! 1261 01:36:44,006 --> 01:36:45,215 Get him off me! 1262 01:36:48,219 --> 01:36:49,511 Tobe! 1263 01:36:49,595 --> 01:36:51,471 Shit! He's trying to kiss me! 1264 01:36:59,563 --> 01:37:01,147 Fuck you, Floyd. 1265 01:37:06,153 --> 01:37:08,905 Wow. Wow. Wow. 1266 01:37:13,953 --> 01:37:15,078 Wolfman has nards! 1267 01:37:15,162 --> 01:37:17,038 Nice shooting, Tex. 1268 01:37:17,122 --> 01:37:19,207 How'd you know that was the sweet spot? 1269 01:37:19,291 --> 01:37:20,834 Come on, I'm a girl. 1270 01:37:20,876 --> 01:37:22,502 I know where guy's heads are. 1271 01:37:22,545 --> 01:37:24,337 Thanks. 1272 01:37:24,421 --> 01:37:26,297 That's two you owe me, junior. 1273 01:37:29,510 --> 01:37:30,885 God, I love you. 1274 01:37:30,970 --> 01:37:32,554 I know. 1275 01:37:32,638 --> 01:37:35,014 Will you two clam it 'till the credits? 1276 01:37:35,057 --> 01:37:36,182 What I wanna know 1277 01:37:36,267 --> 01:37:37,725 is what the sweet scent 1278 01:37:37,810 --> 01:37:40,353 of Satan's scrotus is going on here. 1279 01:38:23,230 --> 01:38:24,731 What? 1280 01:38:45,210 --> 01:38:46,628 I'll just lie here. 1281 01:38:46,712 --> 01:38:48,504 It all should blow over. 1282 01:38:48,589 --> 01:38:50,924 Ah, fuck that! I could leave! 1283 01:38:51,008 --> 01:38:52,592 I got the car, I got the keys! 1284 01:38:52,635 --> 01:38:55,053 Ah, what about the guys? 1285 01:38:55,137 --> 01:38:57,013 Wait. 1286 01:38:57,097 --> 01:39:00,224 Ah, des! Shit! 1287 01:39:54,530 --> 01:39:56,406 Yes! Okay. 1288 01:39:56,490 --> 01:39:58,157 Come on, Ryan. 1289 01:39:58,200 --> 01:40:01,035 This is my movie. I'm the final girl. 1290 01:40:01,120 --> 01:40:02,704 Come on! 1291 01:40:04,790 --> 01:40:06,499 Okay. 1292 01:40:06,583 --> 01:40:08,584 One. 1293 01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:11,462 Two. 1294 01:40:12,798 --> 01:40:14,090 Two and a half. 1295 01:40:14,174 --> 01:40:15,049 Three! 1296 01:40:26,979 --> 01:40:28,563 Jesus, Miller. 1297 01:40:33,861 --> 01:40:35,695 Penis brat! 1298 01:40:35,738 --> 01:40:37,572 You gotta be fucking kidding! 1299 01:41:17,738 --> 01:41:19,447 Swearsies. 1300 01:41:19,531 --> 01:41:21,157 Now what? 1301 01:41:21,241 --> 01:41:24,327 We get back in the car and get the fuck out. 1302 01:41:27,247 --> 01:41:31,417 Plan a sucks. Got any other ideas? 1303 01:41:31,502 --> 01:41:33,252 Follow me. 1304 01:41:43,889 --> 01:41:46,933 Fuck you, fucking zzombies! 1305 01:41:46,975 --> 01:41:48,684 Okay. 1306 01:41:48,769 --> 01:41:50,686 I gotta think. I gotta save the day. 1307 01:41:50,771 --> 01:41:52,355 What would, uh, Simon pegg do? 1308 01:41:52,439 --> 01:41:54,774 That's too British. 1309 01:41:54,858 --> 01:41:56,692 Des, des, we're gonna get out of this. 1310 01:41:56,777 --> 01:41:59,028 We're gonna be oh... 1311 01:42:00,906 --> 01:42:02,156 Des? 1312 01:42:02,241 --> 01:42:05,785 I want you, Ryan. 1313 01:42:05,869 --> 01:42:07,954 That is so awesome, but, 1314 01:42:08,038 --> 01:42:11,332 this is kind of a no time for love Dr. Jones situation here, so. 1315 01:42:11,416 --> 01:42:13,584 We'll be fine. 1316 01:42:13,669 --> 01:42:16,504 Come to me, Ryan. 1317 01:42:16,588 --> 01:42:18,464 But, but you're... 1318 01:42:18,507 --> 01:42:20,216 In love? 1319 01:42:20,300 --> 01:42:21,884 No... 1320 01:42:23,512 --> 01:42:25,638 Be inside me forever, Ryan. 1321 01:42:25,681 --> 01:42:27,140 I, uh... 1322 01:42:33,188 --> 01:42:34,438 Fuck it! 1323 01:42:51,999 --> 01:42:53,958 Phone's dead. 1324 01:42:54,042 --> 01:42:56,419 Phones out here too, smart bastards. 1325 01:42:56,503 --> 01:42:58,171 What the hell is going on? 1326 01:42:58,213 --> 01:43:01,048 When there's no more room left in hell, 1327 01:43:01,133 --> 01:43:02,842 "the dead shall fuck the earth." 1328 01:43:02,885 --> 01:43:05,553 Or something like that, it's like, 1329 01:43:05,637 --> 01:43:06,846 with the final reel. 1330 01:43:06,889 --> 01:43:08,097 Final reel. 1331 01:43:08,182 --> 01:43:09,515 What? 1332 01:43:09,600 --> 01:43:11,559 No. I cannot die here tonight. 1333 01:43:13,520 --> 01:43:15,521 You're not gonna die tonight. 1334 01:43:15,606 --> 01:43:16,731 Here. 1335 01:43:16,815 --> 01:43:18,482 Here you go, kid. 1336 01:43:18,567 --> 01:43:20,003 Six rounds will give you some courage. 1337 01:43:20,027 --> 01:43:21,277 What about you? 1338 01:43:21,361 --> 01:43:22,820 Don't worry about me. 1339 01:43:22,905 --> 01:43:24,697 Now you came by car tonight, right? 1340 01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,908 Yeah, hopefully Ryan stayed in the car. 1341 01:43:26,992 --> 01:43:29,118 He's got the keys. 1342 01:43:29,203 --> 01:43:31,037 Get back to your car, 1343 01:43:31,121 --> 01:43:33,873 lock yourselves in and drive fast. 1344 01:43:33,957 --> 01:43:36,209 What do we tell him? That this in an undead orgy? 1345 01:43:36,293 --> 01:43:37,793 Tell them whatever! 1346 01:43:37,878 --> 01:43:39,795 Tell them to bring the cops, the army, 1347 01:43:39,880 --> 01:43:42,089 the goddamn hazzmat suits. Bring them all! 1348 01:43:42,174 --> 01:43:44,050 Now, you have 12 rounds between you. 1349 01:43:44,134 --> 01:43:46,302 Got it. 1350 01:43:46,386 --> 01:43:47,970 Aren't you coming? 1351 01:43:48,055 --> 01:43:51,474 Yeah. Yeah. I'll... I'll catch up with ya. 1352 01:43:54,895 --> 01:43:56,854 Scoot you two. Good luck. 1353 01:43:56,939 --> 01:43:59,232 And may the schwartzz be with ya. 1354 01:43:59,316 --> 01:44:00,650 You too, Mr. K. 1355 01:44:08,158 --> 01:44:11,786 What was it you said, Orson? 1356 01:44:11,870 --> 01:44:16,374 Nobody who takes on anything big and tough 1357 01:44:16,458 --> 01:44:18,751 can afford to be modest. 1358 01:44:27,928 --> 01:44:30,054 Fuck modesty. 1359 01:44:47,281 --> 01:44:48,447 Fuck! 1360 01:44:56,123 --> 01:44:57,832 Hey, there, big boy. 1361 01:44:57,916 --> 01:44:59,292 You like that? 1362 01:45:01,503 --> 01:45:02,962 Is this what you want? 1363 01:45:03,046 --> 01:45:04,380 Mayna, what the fuck? 1364 01:45:04,464 --> 01:45:07,425 Happy ending. 1365 01:45:14,057 --> 01:45:15,516 Feel important. 1366 01:45:15,600 --> 01:45:17,518 Wait! Smoke screen. 1367 01:45:21,815 --> 01:45:23,983 Fuck me gently with the chain saw. 1368 01:45:28,238 --> 01:45:29,405 Let's go! 1369 01:45:29,489 --> 01:45:30,489 Okay. Okay. 1370 01:45:30,532 --> 01:45:31,991 Oh, my god! 1371 01:45:37,914 --> 01:45:38,914 Where's the car? 1372 01:45:38,999 --> 01:45:40,249 Right there. 1373 01:45:40,334 --> 01:45:41,667 Yeah. Right there. 1374 01:45:42,919 --> 01:45:44,587 Oh, shit. 1375 01:45:46,506 --> 01:45:47,757 Fuck. 1376 01:45:47,841 --> 01:45:49,675 Watch out. 1377 01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:51,720 Your mother sucks cocks in hell. 1378 01:45:53,513 --> 01:45:55,264 Tobe! Oh, my gosh! 1379 01:45:58,727 --> 01:46:00,770 Oh, fuck. 1380 01:46:00,854 --> 01:46:02,146 Are you out? 1381 01:46:02,230 --> 01:46:03,731 I've got one. 1382 01:46:05,609 --> 01:46:06,734 I've got two. 1383 01:46:06,818 --> 01:46:08,611 Wait. No. 1384 01:46:08,695 --> 01:46:10,279 I've only got one. Fuck. 1385 01:46:10,364 --> 01:46:12,281 Well, the best we could do is use it on us. 1386 01:46:12,366 --> 01:46:14,408 Before we become zzombies. 1387 01:46:14,493 --> 01:46:17,536 I don't feel like losing my virginity with a goddamn zzombie. 1388 01:46:17,621 --> 01:46:19,455 Wait. You're a virgin? 1389 01:46:19,539 --> 01:46:21,791 Can we talk about this later? Watch it. 1390 01:46:24,086 --> 01:46:26,545 I waited for you. 1391 01:46:33,595 --> 01:46:36,389 Now put the gun on my head and pull the trigger. 1392 01:46:36,431 --> 01:46:38,682 The bullet should take us both out. 1393 01:46:38,767 --> 01:46:40,768 What? Is that the best idea you've got? 1394 01:46:40,852 --> 01:46:43,270 It's the only thing I can remember from the movies 1395 01:46:43,355 --> 01:46:44,563 that makes any sense... 1396 01:46:47,943 --> 01:46:49,819 Get your undead dicks 1397 01:46:49,903 --> 01:46:52,488 out of my drive-in! 1398 01:46:54,991 --> 01:46:57,326 Old Turkey! 1399 01:46:57,411 --> 01:47:00,496 This way, jerk offs! Follow me! 1400 01:47:02,916 --> 01:47:05,918 Amscra you two. Get to the chopper. Go. 1401 01:47:11,842 --> 01:47:13,259 Where are the keys? 1402 01:47:13,343 --> 01:47:14,760 I don't know. You have them. 1403 01:47:14,803 --> 01:47:16,137 What? No, I gave them to you. 1404 01:47:16,221 --> 01:47:17,263 I gave them to you! 1405 01:47:17,347 --> 01:47:18,722 Check your pockets. 1406 01:47:18,807 --> 01:47:20,182 I got 'em! 1407 01:47:20,267 --> 01:47:21,767 Behind you! 1408 01:47:24,479 --> 01:47:25,938 In. In. In. Get in! 1409 01:47:26,022 --> 01:47:28,065 Open the door! Unlock it. 1410 01:47:28,150 --> 01:47:29,692 Get in. 1411 01:47:33,447 --> 01:47:35,781 "Hasta ia vista, baby ." 1412 01:47:35,866 --> 01:47:38,993 "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn". 1413 01:47:39,077 --> 01:47:42,705 "Nobody puts baby in a corner." 1414 01:47:42,789 --> 01:47:46,375 "Yippie ki yay motherfucker." 1415 01:47:46,460 --> 01:47:49,795 "What we have here is a failure to communicate". 1416 01:47:52,215 --> 01:47:53,924 "Goonies never say die!" 1417 01:47:55,886 --> 01:47:59,180 "I'm getting too old for this shit". 1418 01:47:59,264 --> 01:48:01,182 This way, perverts! 1419 01:48:01,266 --> 01:48:04,310 Follow the pied Piper and his sweet asshole! 1420 01:48:05,854 --> 01:48:07,646 Cinema is dead. 1421 01:48:10,692 --> 01:48:12,818 Oh! 1422 01:48:12,903 --> 01:48:15,237 "Say hello to my little friend!" 1423 01:48:21,119 --> 01:48:24,914 A better contender! 1424 01:48:24,998 --> 01:48:28,584 "Rosebud, motherfucker"! 1425 01:48:30,045 --> 01:48:31,712 Oh, god. 1426 01:48:31,796 --> 01:48:33,399 I think that was uncle Cecil's curtain call. 1427 01:48:33,423 --> 01:48:35,257 Well, that's a way to find out. Huh? 1428 01:48:35,342 --> 01:48:36,509 Keys to ignition. Go! 1429 01:48:36,551 --> 01:48:38,469 Okay. 1430 01:48:38,553 --> 01:48:40,596 [Engine cranks but can't start] No, no, no. 1431 01:48:40,680 --> 01:48:43,015 Come on. This isn't supposed to happen. 1432 01:48:43,058 --> 01:48:45,351 We're supposed to survive. Fuck. 1433 01:48:45,435 --> 01:48:48,812 This is it. 1434 01:48:48,897 --> 01:48:50,856 Wait! You still have the... 1435 01:48:52,359 --> 01:48:54,068 Fresh out. 1436 01:48:54,152 --> 01:48:55,736 Damn it! 1437 01:48:55,820 --> 01:48:58,364 What do we do now? 1438 01:48:58,448 --> 01:49:01,367 Well, we can just sit here 1439 01:49:01,409 --> 01:49:04,245 and wait for them to turn us into human sex toys. 1440 01:49:04,329 --> 01:49:07,581 Okay. Already not digging doing number one. 1441 01:49:07,666 --> 01:49:11,585 Or, 1442 01:49:19,135 --> 01:49:24,765 We spend the last night of our lives together 1443 01:49:24,849 --> 01:49:28,727 and give these fuckers one hell of a show. 1444 01:49:28,770 --> 01:49:33,232 I have to admit that's one hell of a plan. 1445 01:49:33,316 --> 01:49:36,277 Let's do it. Wait. 1446 01:49:40,907 --> 01:49:43,284 Funny. Did you ever think 1447 01:49:43,368 --> 01:49:46,328 this would be the moment you became a man? 1448 01:49:46,413 --> 01:49:49,582 Actually, it was during an alien invasion 1449 01:49:49,666 --> 01:49:52,167 but it really doesn't matter what the scenario. 1450 01:49:52,252 --> 01:49:54,587 Why's that? 1451 01:49:54,629 --> 01:49:57,590 Because I always knew it would be with you. 1452 01:50:00,176 --> 01:50:03,596 You are so cool. 1453 01:50:03,638 --> 01:50:05,931 True romance. 1454 01:50:15,942 --> 01:50:16,984 Wait. Wait. 1455 01:50:17,068 --> 01:50:18,152 What? What? 1456 01:50:18,236 --> 01:50:20,946 Do you have a condom? 1457 01:50:20,989 --> 01:50:22,197 Really? 1458 01:50:22,282 --> 01:50:24,408 I'm kidding. 1459 01:50:59,527 --> 01:51:01,820 Fantastic! Now that's an ending. 1460 01:51:01,905 --> 01:51:03,072 Fuck Hollywood! 1461 01:51:03,156 --> 01:51:04,740 Really? Boring. 1462 01:51:04,824 --> 01:51:05,866 Boring? 1463 01:51:05,950 --> 01:51:07,409 Not enough tits. 1464 01:51:07,494 --> 01:51:09,745 Actually, it was kinda bittersweet. 1465 01:51:09,829 --> 01:51:12,164 You know? Like the ending of e.T. 1466 01:51:12,248 --> 01:51:14,375 Why does everything gotta be e.T. With you? 1467 01:51:14,459 --> 01:51:15,584 Come on. Let's go. 1468 01:51:15,669 --> 01:51:17,252 E.t.'s gay. 1469 01:51:18,630 --> 01:51:20,506 How... he's a plant. 1470 01:51:20,590 --> 01:51:23,008 He can't be gay. He's a pla... he's a plant. 1471 01:51:23,093 --> 01:51:25,052 Would you be gay if you were a plant? 1472 01:52:12,559 --> 01:52:14,727 It is a biological anomaly 1473 01:52:14,811 --> 01:52:18,147 the likes of which the medical community has never seen. 1474 01:52:18,231 --> 01:52:20,441 Miles' unique body chemistry 1475 01:52:20,525 --> 01:52:22,901 clashed with the plutoneide and the spermupermine 1476 01:52:22,944 --> 01:52:25,696 mutating his spermatozzoa during spermatogenesis 1477 01:52:25,780 --> 01:52:28,073 in a way that no one could've expected. 1478 01:52:28,158 --> 01:52:29,950 Spermatium are by their very nature 1479 01:52:30,034 --> 01:52:32,411 a very determined and resilient organism 1480 01:52:32,454 --> 01:52:35,080 genetically programmed to overcome all obstacles 1481 01:52:35,165 --> 01:52:37,249 defy all odds and hit the target. 1482 01:52:37,333 --> 01:52:39,668 Or die trying. 1483 01:52:39,753 --> 01:52:41,003 Perhaps... 1484 01:52:41,087 --> 01:52:43,088 You can view this disaster 1485 01:52:43,131 --> 01:52:45,799 as a kind of cautionary tale 1486 01:52:45,884 --> 01:52:48,594 against the misuse of a yet to be fully understood 1487 01:52:48,636 --> 01:52:50,929 era in atomic energy. 1488 01:52:51,014 --> 01:52:53,432 God help us all. 1489 01:59:45,553 --> 01:59:46,678 Ba-bye.100782