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1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:04,336
How about this Jamaican resort?
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:06,738
We can escape the chilly Langley winter
3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,341
at a heavily guarded manmade beach!
4
00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,743
Or we could check out Willie
Nelson's museum in Nashville.
5
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:14,146
Dude loves weed and headbands!
6
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,815
I've heard your input,
and I propose we do...
7
00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:19,417
none of those things!
8
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:21,153
You could've just had me move that.
9
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:25,190
The Smith clan shall
vacation in Rustic Pines!
10
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,095
The quaint ski town?
11
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,164
Where I used to go as a kid?
12
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,899
I know that look
on everyone's face, Mr. S.
13
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:36,501
They're about to yell,
14
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,103
"Jeff, nobody has any frickin' idea
15
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,371
what you're talking about!"
16
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,573
Picture it...
we'll wake up with the sun,
17
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:45,310
ski through peaceful woods,
a mountain breeze in our hair.
18
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:46,779
Ahh.
19
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,247
Then, we'll retire to a tiny log cabin
20
00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:50,849
with no water or electricity
21
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:53,718
and poop in an outhouse,
like God intended.
22
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,120
Ugh!
23
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,722
Honey, thumbs up on the fun ski stuff,
24
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,725
but thumbs down on the
pooping like an animal.
25
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,194
How about a nice hotel?
26
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,463
Vacations aren't about
fancy-pants hotels
27
00:01:04,531 --> 00:01:05,798
with robot toilets.
28
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,800
They're about getting away from it all.
29
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,267
I'll give it a try, Stan.
30
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,536
Go with the flow,
that's what I always say.
31
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,139
I guess, but this "go"
seems like it flows
32
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,474
somewhere shitty.
33
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:18,210
Your father has
a different idea of "fun"
34
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,479
because his family grew up...
35
00:01:20,547 --> 00:01:22,614
I don't want to say "poor"...
36
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,617
but with less money than a
family needs to not be poor.
37
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,752
Poor? I don't think so.
38
00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:31,156
In fact, my pops even bought me
a fake ID at age 6
39
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,691
so I could sell my blood.
40
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,626
In conclusion, not poor.
41
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,628
What are you guys up to?
Never mind, don't care.
42
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,231
I'm turning my alcove
into a home office,
43
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:42,434
and its gonna be siiick!
44
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:43,702
But, seriously, what are you guys up to?
45
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,238
Can I do it, too? Pleeeease?
46
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:50,275
So, "maybe," then?
47
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,902
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
48
00:01:56,937 --> 00:01:59,984
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
49
00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:03,188
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
50
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:07,459
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
51
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:12,665
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
52
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,400
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
53
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,501
Aah!
54
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:20,873
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
55
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,882
Anyone see "it all" around here?
56
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:33,418
The answer is no because we
officially got away from that!
57
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,355
Get a lung full of this
fresh mountain air.
58
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,758
Huh. That actually is kinda nice.
59
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,226
I don't know.
60
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,628
It all just smells like
squirrel farts to me.
61
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,830
Shh!
62
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,700
And if that's not enough nature for you,
63
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,569
the forecast calls for
an epic powder dump...
64
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:52,504
a skier's paradise.
65
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,621
_
66
00:02:55,375 --> 00:02:59,712
Prepare for total relaxation in 3, 2...
67
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:04,717
- That was relaxing.
- I don't get it.
68
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,318
There's never traffic heading into
69
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:07,786
this little nothing of a town.
70
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,988
Someone must've hit a
moose or froze to death
71
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,524
in their car or something
else picturesque.
72
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:16,795
Welcome to heaven.
73
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:17,996
When I was a kid, we had a game
74
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,265
to see who could touch that sign first.
75
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,534
And we're all playing it right now!
76
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,203
I win! Tee-hee!
77
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:28,473
Log cabin sign condos?
78
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,809
Awesome! Bet it has a pool!
79
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,744
Bet it has one of those little pools
80
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,412
with super hot water!
81
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,615
- You mean a hot tub?
- Maybe.
82
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,416
You know, where you go like this!
83
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,486
A soup bowl?
84
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,021
No, that's hot tub, mom.
85
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,423
He always ends up with
some kind of GI issue.
86
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:46,959
This place is terrible now!
87
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,361
Stan, my dude, relax.
88
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:52,297
You're not poor anymore.
You've earned a trip like this.
89
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,299
We were never poor, you idiot!
90
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,700
Oh, idiot, huh?
91
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,436
Would an idiot... aah!
92
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:58,837
I said, would an idiot...
93
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,372
Aah!
94
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,608
Never mind.
I've ruined my quick comeback.
95
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,045
We've been in this line so long,
96
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:09,314
I've named all the butts in front of us.
97
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,851
Droopy, lumpy, kinda hot, mean pumpkin.
98
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,453
And the loudmouth of the group,
fart butt.
99
00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,990
Please tell me I'm either
kinda hot or mean pumpkin.
100
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:21,059
Come on, be honest with yourself.
101
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,595
That chairlift line is moving just fine!
102
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,402
Oh, hey, guys, I found you!
103
00:04:25,437 --> 00:04:26,448
Ew, Stan,
104
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,400
what are those fashion
don'ts on your feet?
105
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,735
My dad had these custom-made for me
106
00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:33,672
from our neighbor's very
expensive fence material.
107
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,073
What's going on with your line?
108
00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,875
- Nobody's even wearing skis!
- Don't need 'em!
109
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,678
My crew is all about "après ski,"
110
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,880
the party scene after skiing.
111
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,017
Except we also do it before
skiing and instead of skiing.
112
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:47,352
We're heading up to a
sick mountaintop club.
113
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,821
I got you all express passes!
114
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,889
Nobody wants your party passes.
115
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,157
We're here to ski and name butts,
116
00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:55,360
and we're all out of butts.
117
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,895
- I'll take a pass!
- Oh, great.
118
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,563
Fart butt gets to go up.
119
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:02,501
So, fart butt,
is that short for Fartholomew Buttons?
120
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,105
The ultimate home office.
121
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,041
Pens to sign important documents,
122
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,443
paperclips to clip those
documents together,
123
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:15,714
and, of course,
a big-ass landline phone.
124
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,117
No dial tone?
125
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:22,521
Time to call tech
support and unleash hell!
126
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,860
Telestar support, Sara speaking.
127
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,729
Hey, Sara, your shitty company sold me
128
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,197
a defective phone!
129
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,666
I am so sorry about that, sugar.
130
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,935
And here I was upset about the rain.
131
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:40,739
Well, it... it's not your fault, Sara.
132
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,741
And rain does kinda suck.
133
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,809
Sorry I got so mad.
134
00:05:44,879 --> 00:05:47,479
It's okay. I understand.
135
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:50,682
You... understand me?
136
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:51,816
Sure!
137
00:05:51,886 --> 00:05:53,686
This must be frustrating.
138
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,220
It is!
139
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:58,090
Wow, you really get me.
140
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,559
So, what are you up to tonight, Sara?
141
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,828
I'm sorry, I-I didn't catch that.
142
00:06:03,898 --> 00:06:05,497
Oh, let me take you off speaker...
143
00:06:08,797 --> 00:06:10,502
Sara! Come back to me!
144
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,504
Telestar support, Mindy speaking.
145
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,906
Put Sara back on!
146
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,974
I'm sorry, sir, there's no Sara here.
147
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,044
You see, Telestar has agents
located all over the country...
148
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,415
Sar-a-a-a-a-a!
149
00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,520
♪ I like to après, après ♪
150
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,724
♪ I like to après, après ♪
151
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,858
Don't drink it, spray it!
152
00:06:33,928 --> 00:06:35,860
That's how you après ski!
153
00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:38,530
I'm such a good skier!
154
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,866
MC Avalanche in the house!
155
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,746
Okay, gang, time for our
first and last run of the day,
156
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,481
so let's make the best of...
157
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,618
Whoo-hoo! Hey!
158
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,219
Dammit, these morons are everywhere!
159
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:04,823
Here, Stan, the traditional
peace offering of my people.
160
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,825
Join us.
161
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,561
I pity you, Roger.
162
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,563
Everyone in this family
but you is content
163
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,098
to enjoy the wonders of nature.
164
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,833
Stan, get over here!
165
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:18,903
The bartender lady will spray
beer right in your [BLEEP] face!
166
00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:21,039
I'm invoking vacation veto power.
167
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,976
Everyone get down here
and back in your skis!
168
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,650
_
169
00:07:32,358 --> 00:07:34,052
Sorry, y'all!
170
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,857
Scratchin' ain't so easy
with m-m-m-mittens!
171
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:45,263
Dad, this trip sucks a fat hog.
172
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,800
Climbing garbage to get our skis?
173
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,201
Can we just go home?
174
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,336
Hey, I'm doing this for you guys.
175
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:52,604
I thought we could get away
176
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:54,873
and find a little quiet solitude.
177
00:07:58,021 --> 00:08:00,012
And beautiful views...
178
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,949
...and a mountain breeze...
179
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,753
Aaaaaah!
180
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,355
You read my mind, Steve!
181
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,957
The rustic family ski trip
we've all been craving
182
00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:15,027
is right here... at the dump!
183
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,561
Aaaaah!
184
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,031
Unh!
185
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,175
Cold penis!
186
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:33,244
Steve, the dump
won't be a safe place to ski
187
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,446
until you clear the
household appliances!
188
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,316
Sorry, I was busy
getting this used condom
189
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,517
out of my hair.
190
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,985
A valid excuse.
191
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,653
Honey, how's the bunny slope coming?
192
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,855
I think I found some medical waste.
193
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,057
That's the spirit! My turn!
194
00:08:46,127 --> 00:08:47,493
Wheeeeee!
195
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,866
Whoa. Cabin 3!
196
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,068
These must be the logs
from the torn-down cabins
197
00:08:57,138 --> 00:08:58,203
I used to stay in!
198
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,538
That's nice, Stan.
199
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:01,940
So, the kids and I have been talking,
200
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,676
and maybe it's time we...
201
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,078
Are you crying?
202
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,015
It's just, I wanna thank you for
203
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,818
letting me give you the
vacation I've always wanted to.
204
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,154
I love you guys. Sorry. You were saying?
205
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,022
Um...
206
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:20,291
I was saying we should
stay here and keep...
207
00:09:20,361 --> 00:09:21,693
trashin' it up.
208
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:22,894
Great idea!
209
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,230
Let's all reconstruct cabin 3!
210
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:28,567
You know who else built a cabin?
Abraham Lincoln.
211
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:29,768
He also got shot in the head,
212
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,436
but not everyone gets that lucky.
213
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:33,772
Mr. Heisler, I'm the highest-ranking
214
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,374
support manager at Telestar,
215
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:38,844
and I'm not able to
"bring you Sara" even if you do
216
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,981
"tweet my personal info to your
millions of rabid followers."
217
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,316
Send a company-wide e-mail to every Sara
218
00:09:45,386 --> 00:09:47,186
and tell them the man of their dreams
219
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,920
is searching for them!
220
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:51,256
Sir, I'm sorry you can't figure out how
221
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,592
to use your telephone and
fell in love with the woman
222
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,327
who tried to help you,
but I'm hanging up now.
223
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:00,765
- Aah!
- Aah!
224
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,900
What are you doing here?
225
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:04,803
Sometimes I miss Steve
when he's on vacation,
226
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:07,939
so I just come over and live here.
227
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,008
I'm going a little crazy myself.
228
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,877
Yesterday I made a love connection
229
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,344
with a tech-support babe,
230
00:10:13,414 --> 00:10:16,081
but we got disconnected,
and I can't find her.
231
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:19,150
Klaus, this is your lucky day.
232
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,286
Years of looking for
my deadbeat dad made me
233
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,422
an expert tracker.
234
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,690
Tell me about your call.
235
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:28,427
Well, I was mad about my phone,
236
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,229
and she was upset it was raining...
237
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:31,963
Stop.
238
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,033
It only rained in nine
American cities yesterday.
239
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:35,567
You put on a pot of coffee,
240
00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:38,169
I'll scrub my search history
from Steve's computer.
241
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,105
We've got a girl to find.
242
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,907
Guys, I've been thinking.
243
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,175
Spraying champagne is played out.
244
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:45,744
It's time to innovate.
245
00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:53,652
Ha! Look at those losers
skiing on trash at the dump.
246
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,394
Oh, no! Stan is ruining their vacation.
247
00:11:02,463 --> 00:11:03,862
I have to save them!
248
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,264
I'm innovating, too!
249
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,932
Who wants a champagne enema?!
250
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,267
A little later.
251
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:11,270
I have to save them a little later.
252
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,210
Guess who christened the outhouse.
253
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,746
It was me! I destroyed it!
254
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,414
Everything's destroyed here, Dad.
It's a dump.
255
00:11:25,506 --> 00:11:27,352
The powder dump begins.
256
00:11:28,202 --> 00:11:31,290
Tomorrow, we shall ski
upon pillows of fairy dust.
257
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,092
We'll need plenty of rest,
258
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,960
so it's time for
everyone to go to sleep.
259
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,963
But it's so early! Nobody's tired!
260
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,231
Don't worry,
I found a gasoline-soaked rag
261
00:11:40,301 --> 00:11:41,500
we can all share.
262
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,635
I'll use it first, and when I pass out,
263
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,570
you can remove it from
my face so I don't die.
264
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:47,839
Then the next person
will take it, pass out,
265
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,241
and so forth in a round-robin system.
266
00:11:50,311 --> 00:11:52,978
But what about the last person?
267
00:11:59,439 --> 00:12:00,452
A big snowball?
268
00:12:00,521 --> 00:12:02,388
Wait. There's something in here.
269
00:12:05,326 --> 00:12:08,459
"Dearest Smiths,
I bring news of a better life
270
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,395
"just a few hundred feet above you,
271
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:12,931
"where the champagne flows like wine,
272
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,334
"and the wine also flows like wine.
273
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,269
"There's a lotta booze up
here is what I'm saying.
274
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,905
And I have a plan."
275
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,912
Did you get my big snowball
note about the plan?!
276
00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:31,683
The rain rules out everything
west of the Mississippi,
277
00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:35,086
and Telestar has no offices
north of Philadelphia.
278
00:12:35,156 --> 00:12:37,288
You said Sara called you "sugar."
279
00:12:37,358 --> 00:12:39,624
In a southern accent... the sweet kind,
280
00:12:39,693 --> 00:12:41,360
not the swamp-person kind.
281
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:44,163
What else? I need details, damn it!
282
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,897
She was super into me,
283
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,567
practically trying to
bang me over the phone...
284
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,502
No made-up details.
285
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,171
Sorry, you didn't specify.
286
00:12:53,822 --> 00:12:55,174
I heard a train whistle!
287
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,245
That's an Amtrak Viewliner 3850.
288
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,048
Says here,
"only one left in circulation,
289
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,450
runs daily from DC to Blacksburg."
290
00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:07,519
And at the time you called Sara,
291
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:10,856
it was cruisin' right through Roanoke.
292
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,459
My true love works in Roanoke!
293
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:16,195
They've got the best Jersey Mike's!
294
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,430
It's a match made in heaven!
295
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,073
Whoa.
296
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,340
We're getting dusted pretty good.
297
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,809
I should make sure they can breathe.
298
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,080
This isn't Steve at all!
299
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,615
It's a Snowsteve!
300
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,018
A Steveman? A Stevesnow?
301
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:43,422
Hayley? Jeff?
302
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,024
Francine, the kids snuck out
303
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,292
and replaced themselves with snowkids!
304
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,895
Kidmen? Snowsnows?
305
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,397
We gotta find them.
306
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,179
One, two, three...
307
00:14:08,249 --> 00:14:10,015
Shot ski!
308
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,052
You've all betrayed me!
309
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:17,188
My plan worked!
Stan's ready to join the fun!
310
00:14:17,258 --> 00:14:20,191
I dunno. He's kinda got murder face.
311
00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:24,062
Roger I get,
but the rest of you are blood relatives.
312
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,864
Well, technically,
only Steve and Hayley are,
313
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,066
but Francine and me do it all the time,
314
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,935
and Jeff and I became blood brothers
315
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,171
after we found that dead
body by the train tracks.
316
00:14:35,943 --> 00:14:38,477
Sorry we left you, Dad. It's just...
317
00:14:38,984 --> 00:14:40,479
How do I say this?
318
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:43,148
Your trip sucks,
and après ski is way more fun.
319
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,415
That's exactly how you say it.
320
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,485
We tried to be nice, honey,
321
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,419
but just because you grew up poor
322
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:50,889
and had to pretend to
like terrible vacations
323
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,557
doesn't mean we have to.
324
00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:54,893
For the last time, we weren't poor!
325
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:58,029
We all shared one fork to
save time doing dishes!
326
00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:59,430
And I don't need any of you!
327
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,267
I can do a family trip all by myself!
328
00:15:03,304 --> 00:15:06,505
Wow, it's coming down heavy.
329
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,239
I can't see the trail.
330
00:15:08,309 --> 00:15:11,510
Oh, God, I've lost my way!
I'm gonna die out here!
331
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,645
Wait. There's a light. I'm saved!
332
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:15,481
Lord, you saved me!
333
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,151
What?
334
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,659
Who needs a loving family
to enjoy things with?
335
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,999
Those fools have no idea
what they're missing.
336
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,534
Whee!
337
00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:37,736
Yeah!
338
00:15:37,805 --> 00:15:39,871
Yes! Me!
339
00:15:40,743 --> 00:15:41,840
Whoo!
340
00:15:42,450 --> 00:15:44,343
Wake up, party people!
341
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:48,880
MC Avalanche is cookin'
up fat beats and salty meats
342
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:53,685
for your boozy brunchy pleasure!
343
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,287
Mimosa time, bitches!
344
00:15:57,150 --> 00:15:58,690
Poor Stan.
345
00:15:58,692 --> 00:16:01,160
Will you ever find what
you've been looking for?
346
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:03,962
This is exactly what
I've been looking for!
347
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:05,564
Yee-haw!
348
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,200
Haw... haw!
349
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,539
Oh, God, oh, God!
350
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:17,643
I'm doing it!
I'm outrunning the avalanche!
351
00:16:21,639 --> 00:16:24,049
Stan got buried by an
avalanche at the dump!
352
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,019
M-m-m-mittens!
353
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:30,722
Oh, my God!
354
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,591
Après ski crew,
355
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,394
I call on you to help us
find our missing friend!
356
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,011
Nah.
357
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:44,736
- Nah?
- Yeah, nah.
358
00:16:44,806 --> 00:16:46,538
We wanna keep partying.
359
00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,546
This is the address.
360
00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:56,147
You sure you wanna do this?
361
00:16:56,217 --> 00:16:58,283
I'm good at figuring
out where people are
362
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,553
but not so good at figuring
out where they are emotionally.
363
00:17:01,622 --> 00:17:04,690
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
364
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:22,574
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
365
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:49,635
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
366
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:02,347
Not much air left.
367
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,682
Must take...
368
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,751
smallest breaths possible...
369
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:08,287
because running out of air...
370
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:09,755
let's just say...
371
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,890
isn't the best outcome...
372
00:18:11,959 --> 00:18:13,525
for ol' Stan Smith.
373
00:18:16,964 --> 00:18:18,764
This ski trip sucks!
374
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:20,499
Why doesn't our cabin have any heat?
375
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:24,236
Because we're getting away
from it all, that's why!
376
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,306
Can't we go to the regular zoo?
377
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,775
This is better than the regular zoo.
378
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:32,578
The animals are in
their natural habitat.
379
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:38,317
Stan, go check if there's
anything left in that.
380
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,921
This cruise sucks!
381
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:44,455
Why can't we leave our room?
382
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,592
Because it's not a real cruise, Stan!
383
00:18:47,661 --> 00:18:49,461
We're very, very poor!
384
00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:52,464
How the hell does this
imbecile not get it by now?!
385
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:56,735
My childhood family trips...
386
00:18:56,804 --> 00:18:58,870
actually sucked!
387
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:00,939
And there's a chance...
388
00:19:01,008 --> 00:19:02,874
we were kinda...
389
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:04,476
poor.
390
00:19:08,682 --> 00:19:12,317
Stop après skiing and
help me find my papa!
391
00:19:13,554 --> 00:19:14,820
Hey, gang!
392
00:19:14,888 --> 00:19:18,089
You guys love partying, we wanna search!
393
00:19:18,091 --> 00:19:20,692
What if we combine the two and do...
394
00:19:20,694 --> 00:19:22,328
a search party?
395
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,501
Search partyyyyyyyyyy!
396
00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:31,102
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
397
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:34,139
- Yeah!
- I'm gonna be a hero!
398
00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:42,981
Après squad, fan out and find Stan!
399
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,185
Par-tay!
400
00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:48,520
Whoo, yeah!
401
00:19:48,589 --> 00:19:50,922
Let's find Dan!
402
00:19:50,991 --> 00:19:52,791
Whoo!
403
00:19:53,779 --> 00:19:55,794
Oh, Stan.
404
00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:59,731
You only wanted us to have a fun trip.
405
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,768
Look! Dad's crappy old wooden ski!
406
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,475
Breathe, Dad!
407
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:12,678
Breathe your stupid fresh mountain air!
408
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,950
- Life!
- Thanks, guys.
409
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:21,553
You know, while I was trapped in there,
410
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:23,889
I had a lot of time to hallucinate.
411
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:26,558
I've been forcing this
crappy trip on all of you.
412
00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:27,893
I'm a failure as a parent.
413
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:29,428
I wouldn't say that.
414
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:32,231
Sure, they only had fun
because you drove them away,
415
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:33,965
but you still gave them
416
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:36,568
a better vacation than
you had growing up.
417
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,703
I did, didn't I?
418
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:42,974
I broke the vicious cycle of
having to take crappy vacations.
419
00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:45,844
Let's après skiiiiii!
420
00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:47,846
Hit it, MC Avalanche!
421
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:51,316
I don't think he's able to.
422
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:55,520
Oh. Then maybe call an ambulance!
423
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:58,457
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
424
00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,993
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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