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1
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:23,760
- Hey.
- Jay.
2
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,200
Why are you looking up there?
3
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,480
- Trying to shake things up a bit.
- Why?
4
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,920
Because people
keep telling me I should.
5
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,480
What's the Peruvian
special blend like?
6
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,480
I like it but some people find
the top notes a little overpowering.
7
00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,360
- What are they?
- Kind of rustic.
8
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,920
Rustic, like cow shit?
9
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,280
No. Who's telling you need
to shake things up? Ellen?
10
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:43,800
Yeah, and I will.
11
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:48,080
But I need to know if this coffee
tastes like cow shit before I order.
12
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:49,840
No, I mean...
13
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,720
I guess cow shit is a part of
the rustic olfactory experience.
14
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,120
So it does or it doesn't?
15
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,680
The top note is not cow shit,
of course.
16
00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,400
The top note is rusticity.
17
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,440
But I guess if you would
take apart the smell of it,
18
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,160
like a farm in Vermont
or somewhere,
19
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,760
cow shit would be
one of those things.
20
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,200
How could it smell like a farm
in Vermont if it's Peruvian?
21
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,400
I've never smelt
a Peruvian farm before.
22
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,680
I was trying to analogize.
23
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,120
Do you think it might smell
like a Peruvian farm?
24
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,840
That would be pretty overwhelmingly
cow shitty, I would've thought.
25
00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,280
The coffee doesn't
smell a cow shit, okay?
26
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,840
You're walking by a river near a farm.
27
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,320
A Peruvian farm, but not a really,
really Peruvian one.
28
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,200
- No goats?
- No goats.
29
00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:35,720
You smell the water
and some fauna, and some flora,
30
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:41,120
and exotic herbs in a little tiny puff
of something more agricultural.
31
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,360
Sold.
32
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,560
So, Ellen wants you
to be more surprising.
33
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,840
- Not just Ellen.
- Who else? Your kids?
34
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,880
I decided to see
a personal therapist.
35
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,720
- First time in my life.
- You did?
36
00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,000
That's great.
37
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,040
- Why is it?
- I think everyone should go.
38
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,920
No offense, Jay,
39
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,960
but you must have a whole ton
of troubles, what with the...
40
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,640
I could see
why you would need to go.
41
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,640
But I never saw it for me.
42
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:11,920
I'm sure you didn't.
So why do it?
43
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:15,600
- Well, you were a part of it actually.
- Me?
44
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,960
- I sent you to therapy?
- Not directly.
45
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,720
It's a combination
of a whole lot of things,
46
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,880
all of them connected
to my straightness,
47
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,160
my perceived lack of any
interesting kinks in my psyche.
48
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,040
So your lack of need for
therapy drove you to therapy?
49
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,440
- And any interesting kinks?
- Yeah.
50
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,800
By the end of 15 minutes,
I was beginning to feel
51
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,840
like I had more mental problems
than any human on the planet.
52
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,040
- You're kidding me?
- You knew?
53
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,040
And before I go
and talk to my wife,
54
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,080
I want to apologize
for any inappropriate curiosity
55
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,440
over the last few weeks.
56
00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:50,760
Did you just say that
because I walked in?
57
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,760
Yes, I wanted you to hear it.
58
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,560
I talked about Jay
in my session yesterday.
59
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,760
- Good.
- "Good"? Are you kidding me?
60
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,360
I don't want to be the focus of his
weird heteronormative obsessions.
61
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,640
That's exactly what he should
be talking about there.
62
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,000
Absurd, creepy
and inappropriate.
63
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,520
Maybe Jay should be
the judge of that.
64
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,600
No offense, Scott, they're absurd,
creepy and inappropriate.
65
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,720
- Okay.
- Is that an apology?
66
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,520
- It's as close as you'll get.
- I'll bring your tea over.
67
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,160
- I'm sorry. It's just I never...
- Just stop at "I'm sorry".
68
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,440
That was big.
69
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,200
Yeah, I guess it was.
70
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,440
Have you always gone to therapy?
71
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,280
- What?
- Now he asks.
72
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,120
Just making conversation.
73
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,520
Well, you never made
this conversation before.
74
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,280
All those years
of me seeing someone.
75
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,600
It's like when you have a baby,
76
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,920
you look around and you
recognize for the first time
77
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,840
people have babies
all the time.
78
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,160
Because you're in therapy you want
to talk about it with other people?
79
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,720
Sure. It's a new hobby.
Why wouldn't I show more interest?
80
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,160
- Therapy isn't like fishing.
- No, of course not.
81
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,400
What were you thinking of?
82
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,080
- The differences?
- Yeah.
83
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,520
The differences
between therapy and fishing?
84
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,400
Yeah. Apart from equipment.
85
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,600
Right. You're serious?
86
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:18,920
- Yeah.
- Okay.
87
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,360
The first one
at that front of my mind
88
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,360
is that therapy attempts to...
89
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,760
Well, it deals with
how you are as a person.
90
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,960
- Not a lot of hobbies do that.
- Yeah.
91
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,560
We're talking about the difference
between fishing and therapy.
92
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,760
Which one of you
is the fisher person?
93
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,480
I go out sometimes.
Deep sea. I have a boat.
94
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,560
- I've always wanted to do that.
- Come on.
95
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,200
Stop messing
with his head again.
96
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,440
- What?
- Fishing?
97
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,480
You're presuming I don't want to fish?
You're worse than him.
98
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,320
You're not vegan?
99
00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,440
No, I'm just Jay.
100
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,000
I'm sorry.
101
00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,240
It's just, you know,
the whole non-dairy...
102
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,760
I'm not the one who's non-dairy.
It's the customers.
103
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,360
Hey, you want to come
out some day?
104
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,080
On a boat? Sure.
105
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,320
Okay.
106
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,600
I never thought I'd be going out fishing
with someone who says "fisher person".
107
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,040
Can you handle it?
108
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,280
- I think I can.
- Great.
109
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,400
- This is good.
- I knew you'd like it.
110
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:22,960
You have a new pal.
111
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,360
Anyway, I stopped going
to therapy a while ago.
112
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:28,320
You stopped? Really?
113
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,920
Scott, do you ever think
about not asking a question?
114
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,040
Why shouldn't I ask a question?
115
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,000
When it makes you seem like
the least curious,
116
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,280
most self-absorbed
person in America?
117
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:40,640
I have a choice.
118
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,800
I could not ask the question
and remain inexcusably ignorant.
119
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:48,000
Or I got to ask the question
and come across as an asshole.
120
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,080
I'm interested.
So I'm taking the asshole route.
121
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:53,440
The road most traveled.
122
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,280
I'm gonna ignore that
and ask about your themes.
123
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,680
In therapy,
apart from our marriage?
124
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,240
Yeah, was there anything else?
125
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,680
Of course. My dad.
My work. My sister.
126
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,840
- You used to talk about your work?
- Sure.
127
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,800
When I quit the nonprofit
to be a mom, it killed me.
128
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,120
I mean, you knew
that much, at least.
129
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,360
So we talked a lot about
identity and frustration,
130
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,480
and that linked in
nicely with my dad,
131
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:22,040
who was work obsessed
and never home.
132
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,520
Interesting.
133
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,720
What now?
134
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,920
It's as interesting
as it's ever been.
135
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,800
Do you want me to ask you
about your themes?
136
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,160
Is that the point
of this conversation?
137
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,320
Only if you're interested.
138
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,720
I mean, I know
I'm right at the beginning,
139
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,200
but I can see that women
are going to be an issue.
140
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,720
Well, duh.
141
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,840
I don't do me like that,
I just mean...
142
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:53,080
Maybe I have some complicated
ideas about women.
143
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,200
So you're complicated
after all.
144
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,400
Well, can you be an uncomplicated
person with complicated ideas?
145
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,720
Like, Einstein.
146
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,920
Was he an uncomplicated person?
I don't really know.
147
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,520
First of all, I like how Einstein
is your first point of comparison.
148
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,320
Secondly, you have
brilliant theories about women,
149
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,200
ideas that will help explain
the feminine universe
150
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,440
or just fucked up attitudes
that need examining.
151
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,040
Let me answer for you.
152
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:25,840
You have fucked up attitudes
that need examining and eradicating.
153
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,240
Yeah, I'm sure you're right.
154
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,920
I thought you'd be pleased
I decided to do it.
155
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:34,440
I'm sorry. I am pleased.
156
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,160
But are you doing it for me?
157
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,200
I don't know.
158
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,120
Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
159
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:43,920
How does that work?
160
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,560
Because I can't just
go on being me.
161
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,440
Not if I want to
stay married to you.
162
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,760
That has become clear to me.
163
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:57,240
Why do you want to stay
married to me if that's the cost?
164
00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,360
You're a good guy.
165
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,600
Solvent, funny. Still handsome.
166
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,080
There are lots of other women
out there for you.
167
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:09,360
People who would love to look
at the Normandy beaches.
168
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,880
I'm not being sarcastic.
169
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,440
Some women
like military history.
170
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:14,680
Of course they do.
171
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,800
Plus the Normandy thing...
172
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,640
They're still beaches
in France.
173
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,360
Why do you want a wife who
wants to bend you out of shape?
174
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,680
'Cause she's
the one I've got.
175
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,080
There has to be
a more compelling answer.
176
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,800
Everything is up in the air.
177
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,320
We have a chance to rebuild.
178
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,200
Live the lives we want.
179
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,200
I feel comfortable with you.
180
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,320
Is that enough for you?
181
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,000
I'd rather feel
comfortable with you
182
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,920
than uncomfortable
with someone else.
183
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,680
We're not couches.
184
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:50,720
What's wrong
in a comfortable couch?
185
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,080
They're not nothing,
they're hard to find.
186
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,840
Take a long time to wear in.
187
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,960
Jesus, Scott,
people sit on couches.
188
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,920
Nobody wants to be
sat on for 40 years
189
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,120
while you shout
at baseball on TV.
190
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,280
Okay, I'm talking about
the marriage, not the wife.
191
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,080
We have a comfortable marriage.
192
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,600
You want
an uncomfortable marriage?
193
00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,480
You want to start
all over again?
194
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,080
Squirming around so your ass makes
the right shape in the cushion...
195
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,880
I just wonder somewhere out there
is a sofa with indentations
196
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,560
the exact sizes
of our asses.
197
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,560
You mean apart
from the one at home?
198
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,360
It would be so easy to settle back
into the one at home.
199
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,760
That's why this is so hard.
200
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,240
It's hard
because it would be easy.
201
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,800
I don't want easy.
202
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,080
I can't want easy.
203
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,880
And you didn't even notice I wasn't
sitting on the sofa at home much.
204
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,400
It will still remember your shape.
205
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,000
I think what I'm saying...
206
00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,080
You're saying someone else might be
a better fit.
207
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,520
For you, too.
208
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:09,040
Yeah, I kind of see the theory,
but in practice... Man.
209
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,800
There isn't...
210
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,560
You haven't started trying
sofas out, have you yet?
211
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,160
No.
212
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,360
Not really.
213
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,320
"Not really"?
214
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,560
What does that mean?
215
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,040
I haven't bought a new sofa.
216
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,080
It's still in the store.
217
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,800
What does that mean?
218
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:42,800
We should go.
219
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:47,400
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