All language subtitles for Honky Tonk (1941)

Come on, you keep movin'!

Throw eggs,
they sure need more tar in a way.

Get away!

We get enough to tar an army of mules!

Smitty, How d'you like a beautiful
saddle I'm making for them?

Boys! We got plenty of feathers.

I stole the old lady's best pillow.

This is hot enough to fry them alive.

Come on, get them a shot!

You, take off them pants.

I tell you once again, my friend, if
you think my partner and I cheated you

are making the mistake of your life.

And yet I can stand here with my
own gun pointed at me, and say

'To err is human, to forgive divine.'

We hold no grudge.
We'll shake hands and then forget it.

You skinned us,
now we're gonna skin you.

In a different place.

I can see it's no use trying to fool
a bunch of smart folks like you.

You're right. We cheated you something
cruel and we got this coming.

We're dead certain...
- Pardon.

Alright. What are we waiting for?

Now peel off those pants.
- Now wait a minute.

Before we get those
feather under clothes

there's something I'd like to do.

Something I must do to
square my conscience.

I want to make sure that my crooked tricks
are never pulled on you good people again.

I'm going to show you how they work.

I'm sure you'll never use
them them for personal gain.

No siree, but...

Now you, sir. You look like a
man who'd like to shine at party,

do a few tricks, isn't that so?

It might be fun if I
know how they are done.

You're right, dead right, mister.

And here's a man who looks like he can

catch all the tricks the first crack,
out of the bottle.

Then we can trust them, boys?

If he keep that hammer back.

You will never regret it, gentlemen.
The best investment you ever made.

Now if you could half pay,
I am about to disclose to you gentlemen,

all the hidden secrets,
secrets handed down in my family

from generation to generation.

Hurry up,
or you'll be the last here in line.

One thing you must
know before all else.

All confidence games are aimed to
people who want something for nothing.

Find out who they are

and your fortune is made. If...

and here's the second rule of the game,
gentlemen:

If your hand is quicker than the eye...

now draw a bit closer, gents,

keep your attention on my two hands,

my two lily-white hands

Nothing up my sleeve,
and no sleeve to have anything up.

I have here 52 innocent-looking
pieces of pasteboard.

I select three of them:
the king of spades,

the king of clubs and
the ace of hearts.

But I forgot the spice
of my little game.

A hundred dollar bill.

my ill-gotten gain which you
so rightfully took from me.

And which we will keep.
- Very well, we'll use another one.

the one which even now,
reposes behind my shell-like ear.

But haven't you cleaned him?
- Well, I sure didn't wash behind his ears.

Do not blame my friend
here- being an honest man

he did not look for tricks.
Your attention, gents.

The game is simple,
the reward is great.

I place these 3 cards face
downward on the board.

And the man who is sharp enough,
to guess which card is the ace of hearts

receives as his reward this
beautifully engraved momento.

Ah, filthy looker,
what crimes are committed in thy name!

And now gentlemen, for rule three:

a little hocus-pokus, note,
that hypnotizes the suckers.

by which, of course,
I couldn't mean any of you, gentlemen.

Now watch closely, watch closely.

Take the ace of hearts and
win the riches of the Indies.

Now I'm sure there must be a
red-blooded sportsman among you

who wouldn't mind stepping forward
and a 10-dollar bill in his hand

he will get the privilege of
picking the magic ace of hearts

and receiving as his reward
the hundred dollar bill.

Now step up here and see whether
the hand is quicker than the eye.

It's a cinch. That's the card there.

Ten dollars,
a mere beggar pal to prove it.

If I'm right,
do I get the seventy dollars?

Not only do you receive the cash award,
you receive the secret of the trick.

Golden knowledge. Which of you were a
lesser man could rebuke a golden arm.

There. Don't be your bad, my friends.

The dishonest hand is
quicker than the honest eye.

This is this one, I've been watching close.
- Pay and play.

And now, my friends, the dithering
dream of all true gamblers.

A 10-to-1 payoff on a sure thing.

Boy, this is my bet.

Stand back, Peter,
I was just reaching for my pocket.

Here.

That convinces me.
- Then we can go? - Yes!

Yes, out of town on a rail.

Oh no, just a minute, my good friends.

I'm going to show you how it works.

Where the elusive ace of hearts reposes

and you will repent it
because you have it.

And who has the ace of hearts
receives the hundred dollar bill.

I've got it? Where is it?

Now watch closely, gentlemen.
Watch closely.

If you would just give me a
little bit of room here, please.

You'll be amazed when
I show you where it is.

You will be astounded.

You will regard it as the
miracle of the century.

Drop the guns.

Get out of here while
you're still wearing shoes.

Keep your hats on when you say goodbye.

All right, hey, Rube.

Let's get out.

Look at him! Nothing like a peacock!

They almost made us miss our train,
Candy.

Who are you saying goodbye to?

My laundry.

I got shirts in every town
between here to Abeline.

I wanted to stay in this place long
enough to get my pants pressed.

Yeah, and we're going to, Sniper.

I'm tired of being run out
of somebody else's town.

I'm gonna find me a town of my own.

I'm gonna be the gent
who says go or stay.

But I can't do it with this
thing growing out of my hands.

Are you going to turn honest?
- I'm gonna turn smart.

It's getting us out of business.

Sniper, don't you ever want
to do anything better than

to play "Come on!' to the suckers?

There ain't anything better than

picking up that ace of hearts
and hear them suckers squeal.

Looks like they strike the
gold vein in Yellow Creek.

It will take years
to pay off the debts.

Look where you're going,
otherwise I'll tear your teeth.

Sorry.

Yellow Creek.

I'll get those ten.

Your spin.
- Give me that ten-note.

What are you playing, boys, poker?
- Why don't you sit down and find out?

Thanks, folks. I don't mind if I do.

Three Jacks.
- It's me.

Smells kind of good
for such an old trick.

I'm afraid you think I
dropped it on purpose.

No, no, of course not.
That's the last thing you'd do.

The last thing I'd do would
be speak to a strange man.

No. You're overdoing it.
- Overdoing what?

The wide-eyed business.

I think a girl should keep
her eyes open. Wide open.

Now let's see. As I remember,
it usually goes like this:

You were born and raised in
a little town in Vermont.

Ohio, Nebraska or maybe New Jersey.
- Massachussetts.

Boston, Mass.
- And your father is a doctor...

preacher or school teacher.
Well, anyway, he's poor, but honest.

My father happened to be a judge.
And he's very honest.

An honest judge.
Was there ever one who wasn't?

Now let's see.
The family meets reverses.

The mortgage is foreclosed,
the mother dies of shame.

So the the poor little daughter is
thrown out into the cold cold world.

And where does it go?
For the land of opportunities.

The Golden West.

But in the meantime she needs
$ 10 to pay for her ticket.

You are lucky, honey. I've got $ 10.

Thank you.
- Take it, sister.

It just happens that I could use $ 10.
Right now.

Honey, you astound me.

Thank you, and you, sir?

Sure. Why not?
- Thank you.

There just one thing you've left
out of your pretty little story.

They always warn young ladies
about men who have clean hands

in a country where
the honest man works.

I don't know who's cheating this game

but if he does it again,
I'll shoot his beard off.

Perhaps.

Hello, gentlemen.

Father?

I hardly knew you.

It's been so long.

Am I what you expected?
- I don't know what I expected.

But you're just what I'd hoped for.

Howdy?

I'm sorry, sir...

Hi! You remember me? I'm Candy Johnson.

I'm afraid you have the advantage of me,
mister.

You bet. I've got a wonderful memory.

Never forget a face,
never forget a place.

How do we dodge town?
- Now see here, young man...

Do not be angry, dear.
It's just another crumby attempt

of Mr. Johnson to get acquainted.

This is my father, Judge Cotton.

Did you say Judge Cotton?
- That's right.

And as I said: an honest judge.

And as I said:
was there ever one who wasn't?

It's easy to make mistakes. We all do.

People who make mistakes
keep me in business.

You see, I'm justice of the peace here.

Oh, I see. I'm sorry I
mistook you for an old friend.

Come, my dear. Supper is almost ready.

I must get back to town.
I have an appointment with some folks.

Where could a couple of strangers
get a good steak, Judge?

The Plaza Saloon has
the best beef in town.

Thank you, Judge. And good evening.

Good evening, Miss. Cotton.

This fellow Candy Johnson bother you,
my dear?

Not half as much as I bothered him.

Man, man, be careful where you spit,
you might hit a sucker.

They are thicker than flies in the
butcher's shop. Let's get started.

Dig in.

I told you we're going to use
a different kind of system.

Yes, sir.

The more I look around, the more I
think that maybe this is that town.

What town?

The town that I ain't
gonna get run out of.

The judge is right.
This place sure got the best beef.

I'm gonna get me a honey.

If it ain't the Candy man.

Hi, Gold Dust.

How did you know it's me?
- I recognized the brand.

Brad, take over, will you?

Where the devil have you been?
The strike's been on for three weeks.

I wanted to give the suckers time
to get the gold off the ground.

And from what I hear, they can pick
it out with a knife and a fork.

It's right grown out of the grass root.

Are you interested in signing
a claim for yourself, Candy?

Sure,
if it has nothing to do with digging.

Hello, Brazos.
- Your table is cooling off.

How did you know that
gent was behind you?

I have a lot of practice
smelling up snakes.

Don't tell me this town has got a
sheriff that crawls on his belly?

He makes the rest of us do the crawling.
He owns this joint.

It looks like we can get a
gold mine without the calluses.

We get the calluses.
Make yourself at home, Candy man.

Like I've never been away, honey.

A Burbon, please.

Good evening, Judge.
- Hello, my boy, how are you?

I trust that that little farce I indulged
in down the depot did not disturb you?

No, no. Sarsparilla.

Still on the water wagon, eh?
- Yep.

And how's your drinking these days,
Judge?

I'm kind of a little nervous tonight.

I hardly ever touch it anymore.

You never did, except with your mouth.

My boy,
I'm gonna put you next to a good thing.

That's the place I like to be.

I got myself up a nice little rig here.

A pillar of society. Respectable.
I am Justice of the peace.

Collecting fines right and left.

How would you like to
get a cut in on it?

Tell that gift horse of yours to open his
mouth, I want to take a squint at his teeth.

Of course I had expected you'd
advance me a thousand, so just a...

to show me your good faith.
- No.

Those teeth need too much filling.

A man is a fool to try to con you,
Candy.

Yeah. Especially a man who's got all
the earmarks of being out on a limb.

I am out on a limb and a shaky one.

They are showing it off right now.

They are beginning to wonder
where those fines went to.

Sounds like it's time for
you to run out of town.

Past time. But I can't leave just now.

You see,
my daughter insisted on joining me here.

I can't go, I can't stay. I am caught.

How much would I have to dig up,

to keep that respectable photo of yours
from getting full of bullet holes?

400 or 500. Have you got it Candy?

Not on me. But I will.

I demand to see those cards. I suspect
there's no ace of spades in the deck.

Wait a minute.
Something's always squawking.

Three aces ain't enough,
five are too many.

I ran my goose.
Is this the way this place is run?

Go and sell your eggs.
Get him out of here.

You never saw me before.

Sniper,
stand by to keep the flies off my back.

Seems to me if a man is worried
about the scartown of aces

the only thing a house can do
is spread the deck for him.

Easy, son. easy.

The house has no call
but to be on the level.

They already have their percentage.

That's enough for an honest gambler.

You're talking for me too, mister.

He's talking for a lot of us.

Light me.
- I don't carry matches.

Maybe you ought to.

You know what happens to little
boys playing with matches?

They do funny things in the dark.

I'll make it easy for you.
Blackie, matches!

Light me.
- It takes too many hands.

I keep mine where they
can do the most good.

You win.

I don't know these two dudes,

but I'm gonna see that
it stays a private fight.

So simmer down.
- Thanks, whiskers.

But it ain't a private fight.

I talking for every man jack of you

who breaks his back all day at honest
work and then comes in here at night

for a sociable game of cards.

Come here, sheriff.

I get too much lead in you lifebelt,
it may sink you.

Keep that pointed, whiskers, will you?

I know I had to shoot
you with your own gun.

But I'm gonna let you do it yourself.

We're gonna play a little game called
'Committing Suicide'.

What are the rules?
- One of us shoots himself.

The other?
- Laughs his sides off.

I'd like a good laugh.
Deal me a good hand.

I hold here one man
size portion of death.

I insert it in one of the 6
empty chambers of this gun.

I spin the cylinder, gentlemen,
and let the hammer fall where it may.

It may fire the first time
the trigger is pulled...

or you may fire the last,
or you may fire anywhere in between.

Youdon'tknow, and I don't know.
But but we're gonna find out.

The exciting way.

We toss for the privilege
of firing the first shot.

Heads or tails?

Think carefully.
- Heads.

The privilege is all yours.
- You're crazy, Brazos.

All gamblers are crazy.
- I bet on the player.

You've got five chances out of six.

That's as good a bet
as a gambler ever have.

No, no. No peeking. Just...

Would you mind my asking
why you're doing this?

Because I believe in giving
everybody better than a square rule.

The odds are getting shorter.

You get three chances out of four.

Well,
I'll make it two on a three for you.

It's an even money bet, now.

There are two pulls left.

And you go first.

Go on, pick it up, it won't bite you.
Before you squeeze the trigger.

Come on, it's a clean honest deal,

the way any clean honest
gambler like you would want it.

Come on, turn over the cards,
let's see the spots on them.

I would not do that if I were you.

First of all,
you might end up in front of a...

pack of indignant citizens,
waving a rope.

And second,
that could be the empty chamber.

and third, even if it wasn't
my bewhiskered friend here,

there would still be the last trick.

You can throw in your
hand if you want to...

only it will cost you $ 5.000.

It's a deal.

Blackie, get $ 5.000 out of the kitty.

Hand it to me, Blackie.
Come on, whiskers.

Let's go, Judge.

Think of the money
you could have saved.

Seems like old times when we did

most of our walking backwards.

Oh pardon me, while I clean up my ears.

I saw you put a bullet in that gun.

You just thought you did.

It's the best trick I've seen you do,
Candy.

The hand is quicker than the eye.
Here's a souvenir for you.

When am I gonna get my cut
of our little joke, Candy?

Tomorrow. When you could see to
put it back where it belongs.

That money's too hard to
get without giving it away.

It is here.

REVEREND GENE VARNER

You sure picked a nice
respectable atmosphere, Judge.

You'd better mind your daughter,
before you get here like this, Judge.

A very good evening to you, madam.
- Evening, Reverend.

It's not my handle.
- No offense meant. I just believed in sign.

The late reverend was
Mrs. Varner's husband.

I only wish I was big
enough to fill his shoes.

With that gun in your hand,
you look big enough

to fill almost anybody's shoes, Ma'm.

Come on in, Judge,
you've tired the young man.

Alongside of me, Madam, this young man

is a teetotaler.
- Hello, Papa.

My deepest apologies, my dear.

I'll help to get him to bed.

You've done quite enough, Mr. Johnson.
Come on!

Take you time tucking the man.

I won't move a muscle
until you get back.

Lisabeth and me are saying good night,
gents.

See you in church.
- We ain't got a church in Yellow Creek.

Only in Mose.
- Oh, heaven. That's too bad.

Could you use a church, if you had one?

I'm no preacher.
Husband was, but I ain't.

I couldn't run no church.

How about the next best thing,
a mission maybe, eh?

If that be a decent place for
folks to go on Sunday anyway.

Sure. Here's $ 1.500.

See that you have one in jig time.

You're joking, mister?

I never joke with money in my hands.

You don't look to me like
a man would help the Lord

to beat the devil to...

You can't tell by looking, honey.

You build a decent place
for folks to go on Sunday

and I build one for them on week days.

What's that?
- A saloon where they can get good whiskey

and honest gambling.
- Yes, Ma'm.

A place where every sucker
will get a square deal.

You'll like our place.
- That's a mighty fine thing for you to do.

You'll make your money's worth.
- I always do.

And remember, honey,
it ain't good manners to point.

See you in the church.
- Oh, go on with you.

I'm young enough to like that stuff

but too old to believe it.

Do not be so frisky with this money.

Next time, I...
- Come in and put that back.

Oh Candy!
- You heard me. Put it back.

Okay, but I did not know you
really wanted her to keep it.

Ma'm...
- What do you want?

Nothing. I want to give you something.
- What?

My very best wishes, M'am.
My very best wishes.

That 'spellbinder'
is still downstairs waiting for you.

He is, is he?

Honey! Looks like you've
got your towel over a line.

If you mean I don't like that
'spellbinder' you're right.

Funny, I do. A guy like that
reminds me of a piece of side pork:

streak of fat, streak of lean,

streak of good, streak of mean.

Personally, I'm a vegetarian.

Don't look so disappointed, honey.
I'm still here.

Mr. Johnson, I've come down to tell you
that you're on the wrong side of town.

I think the two sides
are to get together.

I don't.

Stay away from me and
stay away from my father.

We've got nothing to do with you.

Wedon'tlike anything about you
and we have nothing in common.

I thought the judge kind of liked me.

Unfortunately,
my father sees good in everyone.

He would not recognize a weasel,
even if it had stripes down its back.

That's a skunk, honey.

All I just hope is that
I've made myself clear...

and that you understand me
as well as I understand you.

But you don't understand me, honey.

I know what I thought when I
took that first long look at you.

I'm afraid I do.

I thought, 'There's a highly
respectable spinster...

a real blue-blooded lady'.

Red blood, Mr. Johnson.
- From Boston?

Everybody in my family had red blood.

By the time my great-grandfather
was through a Bunkerhill

he was running out of
holes in his boots.

Fancy boots too, I bet.

They were good strong boots.
He made them himself.

You mean the boy was a shoemaker?

What is wrong with being a shoemaker?

Not a thing, honey.

I'm just happy to know that
we're the same kind of people.

What makes you think we're
the same kind of people?

What makes you think we're not?

I want you to stay away from me,
Mr. Johnson.

No, you don't.

Whydon'tyou jump in
and get wet all over?

You'd feel better.

I was always taught to
turn the other cheek.

Right here.

Well, what ails you?
What did that fool say to you?

He kissed me.
- He what?

Four times.

Why did not you stop him after first
one, or the very latest the second?

I don't know.

I ought to spin him all over the road.

He thinks he can fool around my boarders
just because he gave me enough money

to build a church.

A church?

Well, maybe you were right about him.

Maybe, honey, but remember,
you're a vegetarian.

Well, good night.

Give me a joe, Frank.

Seems you covered all expenses
last night. Not bad 24 hours.

I'd trade her for a cold
egg and a case right now.

Hi, Candy.

The beard, Pearl, close.

Dude, we got a customer.

Kind of shaky, eh, Blackie?

As shaky as your job here.

I'm getting to feel quite at home.

All these familiar faces.

You come in for a shave?

We are giving them close
today for souvenirs.

Kind of flimsy.

An old match could do a
lot of good around here.

That's right. It could burn the
pants off of a gent about your size.

I wouldn't count on it. I'm fireproof.

Boss, you took that dude's
business and he didn't like it.

He's just yapping.

No, he isn't Candy,
he is not gonna take this land on.

Forget it, honey.

Get round boys like I told you.

Tell them I said it's
Sunday school time.

Speaking of Sunday school,
I got a new hat

with no place to wear.

It's got violets on it,
little shy violets from Boston.

Go ahead, Pearl.

Get me ready to atone
for last week sins.

If you can atone real hard maybe
it can take your next week' too.

My late husband, Reverend Varner,

would've liked this little house

he'd have done...

he'd have done a lot of good here

and maybe we can, too.

It ain't a church yet, but it
wouldn't take much to make it one.

Only I'm bound to say
I never expected to see

some of these faces
in a place like this.

not less than laying in a casket.

I hear a fellow named Candy Johnson

opened up a different
kind of a place yesterday.

And he also chucked away the key so there
ain't gonna be any lock on its door.

Well I'm gonna run my
outfit the same way.

The door will never
be locked against you.

Eh, let me ask you something.

How much are gonna charge for a
beer when you get this place going?

You've got the wrong idea, mister.
Everything we have is free of charge.

Maybe it's all it's worth.
We'll only get here a lot of gab.

Shame!
- Maybe the guy's right.

Listen, mister.
This is no place to start a rubbish.

You be quiet or out you go.

All right, you get the floor.

Let's see what you have to say.

Speech!

They seem to want to listen to you,
Mr Johnson.

And it ain't a bad idea seen as
how you made this place possible.

Speak up!

Speech! Speech!

All right, mister.
I did not think I had anything to say.

But since I've been looking at
you I believe I've got a lot.

Why don't you come up here
where it's comfortable.

Oh Ma'am, if you came to my place, I
wouldn't get behind the bar, would you?

Ladies and gents,
I'm going to give you the goods

When I 'm talking, I always like
to have something in my hands.

How do you do? Sit down.
- Thank you, sir.

I'm going to give you the
goods on the onriest citizen

west of the Mississippi, folks.
It's Mr. John Barleycorn.

I used to think I could
give old John a big casino

and still beat him.

But he knew me better
than I knew myself.

You see, I like the stuff.

After the first drink I
couldn't help taking the second.

After the second I
reached for the third.

And after the third I just kept
on reaching without counting.

I went loco.
When I woke up, I found trouble

sitting on the bed post waiting for me.

If you'd like my home remedy to
keep from taking this first drink

here it is, folk. Candy.

Outside of a woman's lips
it's sweetest thing on earth.

Good for the nerves.

Steadies the hand and clears the eye.

May I ask you something?
Why are you talking against liquor?

You sell it, don't you?

I'm glad you asked that question,
my friend.

A long time ago I found out
that no matter what I said

I could not stop some
men from drinking.

The same as I couldn't
stop them from gambling.

So I figured they'd better
have honest gambling

and good liquor.

That's why I opened
the Square Deal saloon.

The only place you can be
sure they cut the cards

and not the liquor.

But one honest saloon and
a mission isn't enough

to a smooth running town.

What you ought to have is
a school for your kids.

Yes, and a fire engine to use

when the kids try to burn it up.

Mr. Johnson, I'm very glad

that you asked to walk home with me.

Thank you, Miss. Cotton.
I'm very glad you accepted.

I think there is something
I should tell you.

I'm almost sure that
I've misjudged you.

Well,
if you're not in too much of a hurry

I'll do my best to make you real sure.

I never did like to walk too fast.

You know, I'm beginning to get a
lot better line on you, too, honey.

It's a beautiful night,
isn't it Mr Johnson?

Yes. And it's not getting any worse.

Have you any idea what a girl like you

can do to a gent like me?

I 'd like to know. Tell me.

I've seen women I looked at quicker

but never one I looked at longer.

That's a good start. Go on.

You're a runt.

I could put you in my vest pocket

and lose you in the small change.

And me now. I've always gone for women

with something too of my
kind that could stand up

and slug it out with me, toe to toe.

You slug me just by looking at me.
- I'm sorry.

But I'm not sorry.
- Yeah.

And your eyes, they are green, and that
always means hard to get along with.

That's not true.
I have a wonderful disposition.

And you've got brains,
that ain't womanly.

That's a lie,
I have no brain in my head.

You have a full set
of Boston principles

which you are about as easy on a man,
as a hair-shirt.

Can you tell me something?
Why do I keep coming back for more?

You've told me why. Very sweetly.

What? Say that again slow.

I know 'sweet'
is a funny word to use about you.

But you are.

I take it back, honey.
I wouldn't have you an inch taller.

Look,
I think it's time that I went in house.

I never saw a girl so
willing to let it go at talk.

Talk?

I thought it was your specialty,
Mr Johnson.

A very nice talk too,
as far as it went.

Yes, but a man has got to
stop talking some time.

Not until he said some
very important things.

Well, good night, Mr. Johnson.

Hey, wait!
- Good night.

How can you sleep in here,
Candy, with that mess out there?

Tinkle of the cash-register
soothes my dream.

Judge,
I recommend you have to do now...

is to grab Kendall and Adam.

Kendall and Adam. They are good men.

We can use them round election time.

I hear they're gone right over there,
what can I promise them here?

You tell them no matter what
they're getting over there

is chicken feed compared to what
their take will be around here.

OK, Candy. I'm as good as there.

And Judge?
Ride the water wagon over there.

I'll try my best. I took the pledge.

That new Farrow dealer.
I thought he was crooked, took...

You couldn't wait to send
for Kendall and Adams?

That's right.

It isn't them you can't wait for.

No?
- No.

You're all set to take over
every asset in town, except one.

If you don't take that one
over it's gonna take you.

I've never thought that a woman
could upset you, Candy man.

How do you know it's a woman?
- Because I'm a woman.

Well, I guess it's time
to open that door and...

and when you go out this
time I'm gonna lock it.

OK, honey.
But leave the key under the mat.

I'm gonna throw the key away.

When a gent like you gets married,
he gets good and married.

A gent like me don't get married.

Then a gent like you don't
take over that asset.

To keep a man get the dinner ready

as soon as a man is caught.

Anybody home?
- Come in, whoever it is

and wash your hands and feet.

Well, come in, honey, come in.

Thanks.

Hello!
- Good afternoon.

That depends on the way you are sitting

and what cards you hold.

Well,
then I'd say it's a very good-afternoon.

Sit down, won't you.

I don't suppose you've
got any whiskey around.

Maybe I have, honey.

That drink has not been cut
since that snipe last night.

Mrs. Varnes is teaching
me how to cook...

Western style.

Here the water takes three
times to come to a boil.

That's only true of a cooking, honey.

You know, I'm like Candy: when I talk,
I like to have something in my hands.

Yes sir, Candy man sure can talk.

A great salesman.

The only trouble is he's
selling just one thing:

Candy Johnson.

I'll say this one though:
he don't hand out any guarantees.

How can you say that?
He has a sign right over his door:

"The Square Deal".

He's got a different sign on his
chest. One that tells the truth.

But it's in smaller letters.

You seem to have read
this sign yourself.

Would you mind telling me what it says?

With the greatest pleasure.
Honey, it says:

I'm not the kind of a
gent that stays put,

some day,
I'm gonna point myself at that door '

and keep right on going."

And believe me, sister.
He is a man of his word.

Well, it's time for me to say
I've got something to do upstairs.

But you ain't. So long, ladies.

If you need a referee, holler.

Just what are you trying to say?

Something that you won't
have sense enough to know.

Candy Johnson is not the marrying kind.

My aunt Sara used to say that when a
man says he isn't the marrying type

it only meant that he
wasn't married yet.

Maybe in Boston,
but this is Yellow Creek, Nevada.

You know, I think you came
here because you're jealous.

You want more? Right now I've got
20 bucks to snatch you both of it

Why should I believe anything you say?

I guess you shouldn't but

you don't really think that Candy man has
a wedding ring all picked out, do you?

Why shouldn't I?
What else would he be picking out?

A fancy room in a fancy hotel, honey.

And he won't be renting
it by the month either.

Being a rat thirsty work.

Hello, honey.
- Good evening.

I like this country.

This depends on where you are
sitting and what cards you hold.

Doesn't it?
- What?

Candy, I'm glad you're here.

I'm sure I couldn't have slept
at night without seeing him.

You know,
I haven't been sleeping so good myself.

The quicker we get something settled

the quicker we'll both get some rest.

Every time I look at
you it hits me again

you're prettier than a little white
kitten, with a blue ribbon on it.

Candy, you know,
I've been thinking this evening.

I do a lot of thinking.

About courtship. Boston courtship.

They are never shorter than a year
and sometimes they go on for 3 or 4.

Say me,
I haven't got that much time, honey.

You hustle upstairs and pack yourself a
bag. We're going to Sacramento tonight.

And when you're packing that bag
don't put any wrong ideas into it.

Such as?

Well, I'm a citizen like this.

I like to know that every
door works both ways.

When I walk in,
I gotta know that I can walk out.

You do wear a sign on your chest, don't you?
- What?

Nothing.

Look. Suppose I don't go to Sacramento.

Well, I 'm gonna get you out of my mind

if I have to hire a man with a gun

to keep me away from you.

I told you what to
leave out of that bag.

Now I'll tell you what to put into it.

Anything with ribbons on it.
- Anything you say, Candy.

Do you know why?

I've got a rough idea,
but I'd like you to hear you say it.

Because a gent like you can
do anything to a girl like me.

Anything

You'll knock them dead in Sacramento,
honey.

First of all, I'm gonna get you a
whole floor at the Sierra Palace.

A fancy room in a fancy hotel.

We'll buy all the town.

I've been aching to dress
you like you ought to be:

Plenty of plumes, black lace stockings

and a whole handful of
diamonds in your hair.

A handful of diamonds in my hair.

What girl could want more than that?

Let's drink to that.

Here we are.

This is Mrs. Varner's special
remedy for sprains and bruises.

I forgot, you can't drink.
- I can, but don't.

I did so want to drink to
the diamonds and plumes.

But...

This will do.
You know, you must be used to it by now.

But I can fill it with something
much stronger, like milk.

Well well. Come on, Candy.

I understand it's not okay
to let anyone to drink alone.

You're making me look
like a sucker from Boston.

No, you're from Yellow Creek.
It's good for the nerves...

steadies the hand and clears the eye.

Candy, you're not just trying
to impress me, are you?

Like a little boy walking on his hands?

Here's to the girl from Bostonl.

And here's to the gent from Yellow Creek,
and to the diamonds and the flumes.

Come on, honey. Let's get going.

Oh no, wait. We mustn't forget
the black lace stockings.

Candy, this is the second drink.
Do you really think you should?

Here's to you and me.
- And to the black lace stockings.

Candy Johnson,
what's your real name, Candy?

I guess I know you well
enough to tell you,

but you don't know me
well enough to laugh.

It's Jederiah. Jederiah Johnson.

Well, I know you well enough to smile.

Here's to knocking them
dead in Sacramento.

With a gent like you.

And here's to the Sierra Palace,
with a girl like you.

Candy, that's your third drink.

You don't want to wake up and find
trouble sitting on the bedpost

do you?

Who are you?

Trouble?

What?

Don't you remember?

You always find it sitting on the
bed-post after you've been drinking.

How did we get to Sacramento, honey?

We didn't. This is my room.

It looks like you.
Everything in its right place.

Including me.

I've got a compliment for you:

You are prettier this morning
than you were last night.

And I have a compliment for you:

you were much prettier last
night than you are this morning.

Candy, do you kiss with
your eyes open or closed?

Open, honey.
I don't want to miss anything.

That's fine. Because I wouldn't
want you to miss anything.

Did I miss something?
- That depends on how much you remember.

I don't know.

Men can do a lot of things
they don't remember.

That depends on how intoxicated he was.

What I want to know is how d'
you feel about me this morning?

Exactly as I felt about you last night.

What about breakfast?
- I've had mine.

Maybe I'll walk to him.

If you're looking for a door, it's that
thing over there with a knob on it.

And it works both ways.

What a shame!

We had so much fun
building it last night.

You were so happy.

Happy? How was I happy?
- You were singing.

Did I sing good?
- Well,

I did not care for the voice,
but the sermon was beautiful.

That's good! After the third
drink I don't usually sing hymns.

It wasn't a hymn, Candy.
It was "Here comes the bride".

Where did you get that?

You had difficulty
finding the proper finger.

You felt it should go on my thumb.

Good morning, Mrs. Johnson.
- Good morning, Mr. Johnson.

You sure went to a lot of trouble last
night to make it Mister and Mistress.

Oh no. The only trouble I
had was with Mrs. Varner.

She did not want to get the
town clerk perform the ceremony.

But you were quite agreeable.
After the third drink.

Yes, you sure went to a lot of trouble.

How did you know it wouldn't be
Mr. and Mrs. in Sacramento, too?

Don't start talking.

Maybe I got conned into this marriage,
and maybe I didn't.

But, anyway, we're married.

No. Stop talking.

I've heard that all brides are nervous.

I'm not nervous!

Too bad we did not have
those long Boston courtships.

In 3 or 4 years now, you'd have
been as cool as as a cucumber.

We are going to have one of
those long Boston courtships.

The only difference is that
it starts after the wedding.

I'm going to have respect from you,
Candy Johnson.

That ain't why you married me, honey.

You are going to change.

You didn't go to all that trouble
just to reform me, did you?

Maybe I did.

All right.

I'll reform during the day.

It'll make me busy until
almost 9:00 p. m tonight.

No ribbons.

Bring me a gallon of coffee,
4 eggs and bacon.

Send the coffee first.
- Sure, boss.

Sniper, take my hand.

Watch this beard, boys, it's alive.

What are you playing, boy? Poker?

Right. Hurry up with groceries.

Well, you walked in here like a fellow
who took over all the assets up here.

You look like a fellow who got took.

Look harder, honey.

When was the last time I got took?

We married last night.

Two, isn't it?
- Yes. Thank you.

Well, I've heard of fellows
being sent to jail, I...

never heard of them breaking in.

That depends on the fellow.

Aren't you going to congratulate me?

Here comes your father-in-law.
I think I'll leave that up to him.

Hey, Judge.

Come in I want to talk to you.

Oh, coming.

You two ought to have a
lot to say to each other.

Hello, Candy. Well.
I got everything fixed.

Kendall and Adams will be on tap tomorrow.
- Fine.

You can see how dry
that water wagon was.

Have one on the house.

Even in my prime I never
drank before breakfast.

Sit down.

I really ought to go
right home to Elisabeth.

I'm getting her out of this town,
Candy.

I'm sending her back
to Boston this week.

I don't think she will go, Judge.

I'll insist on it.
This is no place for her.

Here, have some breakfast.
- Thank you.

This is the first time you ever
pressed a drink on me. Why?

I want to drink to your retirement.

When a man reaches your age,

being Justice of the peace is
enough for him to worry about.

Now when you get your cut
you won't do anything for it.

Only a sucker expects to get
something for nothing. Why?

Well, put it down to family sentiment.

Elisabeth and me were
married last night.

You...

I don't know why I carry the thing.

I couldn't even shoot a dog.

Here. Have your drink.

I'm gonna hate you as long as I live.

Hello, Judge. You have a good trip?

Is Elisabeth upstairs?
- Yeah.

Elisabeth, your Pa is here.
- I'm coming down.

Sit down, Judge.
I'll pour you a cup of coffee.

I got some on the back of the stove
that will grow hair on your teeth.

Hello, Papa.

Well my dear...

I understand you've just made
the biggest mistake of your life.

You know about Candy?

I'm sorry you had to hear
about it from somebody else.

Come sit down.

I'm going to tell you
something that I should have

told you a long time ago.

Candy Johnson is a cheat,
and a liar and a thief.

Please, Papa, don't.

Maybe there's something
wrong with Candy,

Maybe I know there is

but he'll change. I know he will.

Your mother tried to change me,
Elisabeth.

She was still trying the day he died.

Don't you believe people can change?

Not people like Candy Johnson.

I know because we are both cut from
the same piece of shaley cloth.

I hoped I'd never
have to tell you this.

It will catch you between the eyes.

And maybe that's what you need.

I'm a cheap crook with
a respectable front.

I was born that way
and I'll die that way.

Looking after myself,
no matter what it costs anyone else.

And so will Candy.
He'll never do anything but hurt you.

We'll never change,
except for the worse.

I wish Mother could
have heard you just now.

She'd know that she did not fail.

I weren't just looking after yourself,
you were trying to help me.

No matter what it cost you.

I'm afraid you're
just like your mother.

What's going on in here?
Anything I should know?

Elisabeth has been telling me how make

a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

We're going to be proud
of Candy some day, Papa.

Judge, everybody's kid's got to
grow up and get married some day.

But not to Candy Johnson.

She will never change him
and if he changes her...

I'll...

You're wrong about him, Judge.

Most folks think / to go around.

I thought that handkerchief
was pretty keen.

I haven't got my key, Mrs. Varner.
Where is Mrs. Johnson?

Up there.

Not going your path.

Right about this time I thought
what a handsome corpse you'd make.

Don't say that, honey.
I've got a lot to live for.

Take it easy and you'll live longer.

Who's that?
- It's me. Jederiah.

What do you want?

I said, what do you want?
What are you doing out there?

At the moment I'm trying
to cook up an answer.

It shouldn't be very difficult for you,
Mr Johnson.

I don't feel like talking now, honey.

Besides,
this is a public place out here.

That's very unfortunate

because this is one time that
I really feel like listening.

Besides,
this is a very private place in here.

Say, couldn't you hear me a lot better

if we got all this wood
out from in between us?

Well, so far you haven't said very much.
I hear you perfectly.

Maybe you were right, about that
Boston courtship stuff, honey.

Now you're beginning to say something.

You were right. A girl ought
to have a breathing spell...

to find out about the
gent she's going to marry.

But you know more about
me than most folk.

Now, for instance,
you know my real handle.

Go on, Mr. Johnson.

Well, I was born in Chatanooga.

I like this courtship, Mr Johnson.

It wasn't always "Mr. Johnson".
They used to call me just plain Fatty.

I got the name Fatty
my first day at school.

Did you like school, Candy?
Did you get good marks?

I didn't go to school very long.

Why?
Did you have to stop to go to work?

Yes, that was it.
I had to help out at home.

Even after I ran away,
I always sent something home every week.

How old were you then, Candy?

16. But I was big for my age.

How big were you?

Big enough to let me get by.
Can I come in now, honey?

Try sitting down peeking
through the keyhole.

Did you always get by, Candy?

Yes, but just getting by
did not satisfy me for long.

It had to be better than getting by.

I never was one to stand
outside scratching on doors.

I don't know what I'm doing here now.

This courtship is over.

If you keep knocking on the door,
this marriage is over.

I've been listening to you, Candy
Johnson, and that's always a mistake.

Courtship!
A fine idea of courtship you have.

Who cares if you ran away from home?

Who cares if they used
to call you Fatty?

What a woman wants to know about a man

is that he has decent
honorable emotions.

I've got decent honorable emotions.

Stop scratching on that door.
You can't come in!

I just came in to say good night,
Mrs. Johnson.

And you can forget about that key.

What would you need a key for?

Candy!
Candy Johnson, you come right back here.

Boss! Boss!
Me fix a wedding cake for you.

Thanks, Ching, you eat it.

Slow down,
it's past your bed time, honey?

Maybe he couldn't sleep without
the tinkle of the cash-register.

How would you like to come
to my wedding ceremony?

Will bride be up there?

No. She asked me to get
somebody to take her place.

All right.

Take a couple of steaks and a
bottle of beer for the lady.

Yes, boss.

I sure like a man who
can order a good meal.

Hi, sweetheart.

Excuse me. Where's Mr. Johnson, please?

He's in there.
- Thank you.

I'm sorry, Candy is out, Ma'am.
- I know he isn't.

He's busy.
- He'll be busier.

Go away!

Get away from that door!

Well, I'm glad I did not
have to break it down.

Two of us are having a
little wedding supper.

Why don't you make it a crowd?

I certainly will.

Order me a steak, too.
Oh, and a bottle of beer.

Are you sure you'd like our steak,
honey?

You know, we eat them rare and
that isn't not Boston style.

My great grandfather used to
eat them raw. On the hooks.

He'd never cut time in Nevada,
our cows wouldn't stand still for it.

You don't know her ancestors, my dear.

The old boy probably took the horns
in one hand and tail in the other

and began to eat it like a mere corn.

What about your ancestors?
- They didn't eat beef.

They ruffled them.

In-law trouble already?

Only with the relations
on my husband's side.

Candy isn't any relation of mine,
he's just a friend.

An old friend.

I'm sure you can't be such
an old friend, my dear.

You hardly know anything about him.

Maybe. But if I told all I know...

he'd be in jail.
- And so would you, honey.

Then of course, you know where
he was born. Sure. El Paso.

Chatanooga, my dear.
- El Paso.

I suppose you know ran away from home.
In Chatanooga.

He did not run away,
they kicked him out of El Paso.

Either way, it was St. Louis.

I'm sure,
they couldn't have ' kicked him out.

He was such a nice little boy.

In case you don't know,
they called him Fatty.

In case you don't know,
they called him Little Stinky.

Fatty.
- Believe me, Little Stinky.

What did they call you?
- You want the truth?

They called me Big Stinky.

Well, Candy man,
thank you for the beef steak.

The next time I go to a wedding supper

I'll get me a husband first.

Why did you tell her the
truth and lied to me?

It's not my fault if I can't
slug it out with you toe to toe.

I didn't want to be born in Boston.
It just happened.

And I can't help about
that green in my eyes.

I am just as good-looking as she is,
and I have just as good a figure.

Maybe even better.
I can walk like she does.

If that's what you want.

I can smoke and I can drink.

What else can you do?

I haven't had much practice, but...

but I can kiss a man.

Practice.

I want to go home, Candy.
- You are home.

Don't tell me that's Trouble, Candy.
You married Trouble, honey.

Come here and kiss me, Trouble.

Will you be there in the
morning when I wake up?

If that's how you want it.
- That's how I want it

till I stop waking up.

Why worry about the next 50 years?

We're here now, aren't we?

I am worried, Candy.
This gun, must you wear it?

Black isn't becoming to brides, honey.

Please, Candy,
leave the belt home today.

Please.
- You \.

That's him. For 100 bucks he
stole by poker that night.

Look, he hasn't got his gun.
You don't have to wait for dark.

Go after him now. Pick a fight with him,
say he cheated you.

No sir, I don't shoot an unarmed men.

I got a prejudice against
getting myself lynched.

What are you talking about?

You don't know if he hasn't got a gun,
do you?

Get going.

They are nice and fancy.
Do you think they are big enough?

You nothing about feet,
and even less about women.

Always ask whether the
shoes are small enough.

Hey, Johnson!

They've cheated me in your joint.

They took my weak side.

I'm glad to listen you squawk, Mister.

I'm trough squawking.

Gun, Mister.

I got nothing against you,
you got nothing against me...

that can't be ironed out.

I'm giving you every chance. Draw!

Wait a minute, I've got my wife here.

Candy, are you all right?

This is the first time I
couldn't talk my way out.

Oh Candy, and I wanted you
to leave your gun at home.

That's all right, honey.
I did leave the belt at home.

Dead as a door-nail.

The man was killed in cold blood.
Here's the killer.

What are you gonna do about it?
- What would you suggest, Sheriff?

If nobody thinks his feet
are too close to the ground

I'm putting him in jail.

So I can be shot while escaping, eh?

It was self-defense.
It was self-defense.

It was murder.

The lady is right.
I saw the whole thing.

Who else saw?

I saw.
- I saw.

The dude pointed his '46 gun,

and the big fellow here just
naturally beat him to the draw.

You ought to never open your mouth,
except to eat.

Friends, I appreciate your clearing me.

But what's happens to
me isn't important.

It's what happens to this town.

There's a man lying dead in the wool.
- You killed him.

I'll take your gun.

This man could've been me,
it could've been you.

Any of us.

If Yellow Creek's ever going
to amount to anything, folks,

we'd better make it
safe for a man to go out

and get himself a breath of fresh air

without getting into a shooting scrape.

A man's gotta carry a gun

in a town where there's
no law or order.

No law and order, eh?

You ever stopped to figure
out why you haven't got it?

Who elected this gent sheriff any way?

I elected myself, unanimously.

He just pinned on a star
and started giving orders.

Do you still want him
to go on giving orders?

No!

Brazos,
sounds like you've just been fired.

I always listen to the
voice of the people

even when I know they
are making a mistake.

Mr. Johnson, what do you figure
we ought to do with the star?

Find a cleaner vest, to pin it on.

I don't see any spots on yours.
- Sure, pin it on Candy!

Good idea.

Nice and shiny, isn't it?

I've got just one
official act to perform.

Brazos,
I'm serving notice on you right now

that you're through running
wild in Yellow Creek.

I see your lips moving,
but I haven't heard a word you said.

I can talk louder.
- Not loud enough.

Keep that until you find
the right man to wear it.

And there's only one way to find him.
And that's by a fair and square election.

Mr Johnson, you've got some good ideas.

It's about time this town
got some self respect.

Sure. run it like a town:
town hall, mayor and everything.

Come on!

Citizens need a new library.

Start bringing/ tomorrow, Joe.

And I suppose raise the
taxes again the day after.

I'm not telling you what to do, Mayor,

as long as my cut is big enough.

How much do you want for this one?

Price-tag is in all of them.

Who is it?
- Kendall.

Hi, fellows.

Hello, Mr. District Attorney.
You're late.

Hey, Sniper, how about them ear-bobs?

Is that what's in that case there?

Brazos,
we've got every roulette we have in town

on a 15% basis, is that right?
- That's right.

Heist to the 20.
I don't like these, no flash.

And what do we get put of this heist?

Your regular cut, and that's three
times that you made in your old days.

Still only knee-high
to what you're making.

You like this town, don't you, Brazos?

Staying around, ain't I?
- I let you stay.

Don't make me change my mind about it.

Say, Candy, I got some bees today.

Those stock-keepers in 200 blocks

they can't pay the rent we
want and stay in business.

Sure they can. Ask Brazos.
He's the landlord.

All they got to do is raise
the price of the beans.

I'll take this.
This is the biggest one they've got.

All right, boys.
Next board meeting on Tuesday.

And go out careful.
We don't need to advertise.

Tell them to make these in red,
white and blue...

4th July is coming.

Candy,
you'd better ease up on the citizens,

or they'll be throwing
stones in your windows.

In whose window? I don't know there
were people who are sore at me.

That's why I hired them.
For them do the talking.

Maybe they can't talk fast enough.

We'll shift them for another
kind of gents who can.

Candy, the Judge is going to spoil
your whole setup in this town.

He's talking.

Nobody listens to the old drunk.

You know different. If it was
anybody else you'd shut him up.

I'll have a little chat with him.

You'd better do it pretty quick.
He keeps talking and talking.

He's out to get you.
What's eating him, anyway?

You're his son-in-law.

That's what he got against me.

How are you coming, honey?
- Fine, darling.

I'm almost finished dressing.

Black lace stockings
diamonds in your hair-

that's what I promised you
and that's what you got.

Everything but the plumes.

Let's have a look at you.

Some upset!
You'll knock the governor out tonight.

But Candy, this isn't my dress.

You mean to say you're
gonna cover all that up?

Partly, anyway. With a most
beautiful dress in the world.

I won't like it half so good.

But Candy, most husbands
would object to their wives

wearing so little.

But most husbands don't have
a girl like you to show off.

Think of it, darling.

Tonight we're entertaining a governor,
two senators

and I don't know how many millionaires.

Aren't you nervous?
- Oh sure, honey, real nervous.

Soothe me

Oh, Candy.

Coffee in the drawing room, ladies.

Now, gentlemen,
don't be too long with your cigars.

I'm depending on you, Governor.
- Count on me, Mrs. Johnson.

This is quite a charming house,
Mrs Johnson.

You certainly brought
civilization to the wilderness.

By wilderness do you mean
Yellow Creek or my husband?

I always wanted to know what
they drew in the drawing room.

Pictures or girls?

What are you smoking, Governor?
Have a cigar!

Thank you.

Candy, tell me,
are you going to let us in

on the Windfall mining stock beer?

Good evening, gentlemen.

I'm sorry,
I'm a little late to dinner, Candy...

but I see I'm just in
time to have a drink...

with your gang.

Judge Cotton, I don't believe
you've met Governor Wilson.

How do you do, sir?
- Judge Cotton. Retired.

Yes, I may be a retired judge

but I'm a practicing drunkard.

Well, Judge, since we are drinking,

I would like to propose a
toast to your son-in-law.

Candy Johnson,
Nevada's coming man of the hour.

I can toast any man with
his own brandy and...

the older the brandy,
the better the toast.

To my respected son-in-law.

The man who runs Yellow Creek

like a set of toy trains.

The man who arrived
here with one shirt...

and a million words,
and now the people have all the words...

and hes got every shirt in town.

That's right, Judge.

But those shirts are getting
a little small for me.

Come on now,
you can do better than that.

Yes, yes, I can.

To a room full of suckers.
- Suckers?

Yes, gentlemen,
don't you know what a sucker is?

A sucker is anyone who
listens to Candy Johnson.

Please, papa.

Well, goodnight, gentlemen. Sleep well.

May you dream of fat little angels,
playing on harps...

that look like dollar signs.

Good night, Judge, and thank you.

Gentlemen,
the Judge just saved me a lot of time...

that's why I let him rip.

He dragged something out of the table,
we all ought to see.

Let's take a look at it.

I do run this town, gents.

You knew that when you came here,

if you hadn't known it you'd stay away.
You knew that when you came here,

if you hadn't known it you'd stay away.

You are ready to pay for
anything that I can do for you

and I could do plenty,
and you can pay plenty.

So we are to get along. Right?

Gentlemen, as I was saying,
to Candy Johnson,

Nevada's coming man of the hour.

Make it Man of the Year,
will you, governor?

An hour sounds kind of temporary.

I finally got Pap to bed.
Did he spoil anything for you?

No.

You're sweet not to be angry.

Promise this dance to anybody?
- Well, yes, to my husband.

Do you think he'll
mind if I cut him out?

I don't know, he's a little jealous.
- He is a lot jealous.

Whenever I get hold of you
I forget we are married.

Candy,
I don't think you'll ever feel married.

If you keep on looking
like you do I won't.

Hello, Jim.
Are you going to be ready with lunch?

Oh yes, Ma'am, we're all ready,

but I'm afraid,
Mr. Johnson is going to be late today.

Oh no, Jim. Mr. Johnson is never late.

Anybody out of town? Hello honey.

Hello, Jim.

I came to a very
serious decision today.

What, Candy?

I'm not gonna work
anymore in the mornings.

Miss you too much.

I like to have you miss me.

You know, I never can figure it out.

whether you are prettier by
lamp light or by day light.

Candy,
did you mean what you said last night?

That depends on what
you're remembering.

Well, I mean about not ever
wanting to feel married.

Who does?

If you don't mind, I'd like to.
For special reasons.

Well, go on, honey. Feel married.

You're not so good at making coffee,
but I am not complaining.

I'm afraid that you're going to have

to start feeling married, too.

Just a little bit.
- Yeah? Who's going to make me?

A very tough customer.

Your daughter or your son,
as the case may be.

I saw Dr. Otis this morning.

I'm a ring tail dagger.

Then it doesn't make
you feel too married?

Feel too...

Look, honey,
you shouldn't be on your feet.

Candy, put me down!

Candy, I'm so happy.

I was scared. I was scared to death

that you'd start looking for that door.
- What door?

From now on,
this house hasn't got any doors.

We're climbing up a chimney,
like Santa Claus.

I'm moving downtown, Elisabeth.

I never should've come to
this house in the first place.

Come in, Judge, put down that bag.

You'd better start acting
like a grandfather.

A grandfather?

Liz, hat does a grandfather do first?

First, he swells up like a toad

and then he offers his congratulations.
- Why?

Why not?

I've tried to believe
that I did not know

what's been going on in this town,
Elisabeth.

What buys dresses like
this and a house like this.

What's making all the
honest respectable citizens

of Yellow Creek talk about taking...

the law in their own hands.

Forget it, Judge.
They're just a lot of suckers

talking to more suckers.

Haven't you something to say to that,
Elisabeth?

Papa, I don't question Candy's methods.

I see his results and I like them.

So we'll just stop talking about that,
eh, Judge?

You're gonna change him, you said.

You haven't changed him,
he's changed you.

Wait a minute, Judge. You sound
like you don't like the change.

What's wrong with her
wearing dresses like this?

What's wrong with living
in a house like this?

What's wrong with her
being happy with me?

If you cared about anything
but yourself, you'd know.

You'd know that her only
chance is to get away from you.

Anything I like,
I don't let get away from me.

I tried to kill you once.
I should have done it.

Papa!

He'll come back.
Honey, what do we call him?

Who?
- The new Johnson.

Well, what do you think
of Jederiah for a name?

It wouldn't be polite to tell a lady.

What say we call him after the Judge,
eh?

All right.

Good evening.
- Where's your boss?

Mr. Johnson is dressing for dinner.

Tell him to slip on a
kimono and come down.

Will you wait in the drawing room,
gents.

It's all like you said, Brazos.

Candy picked the right end
of this business for himself.

A nice soft end.
- Sure he did.

You boys have a lot on your side.

Hello, Candy.

What we had think divided up
so that we get all our business

downtown, gents?

This is so ripe it won't keep.

Oh, well, then sit down and unload it.

I wouldn't want you boys to carry
anything around that will spoil on you.

We hear the Judge got
an awful belly ache

last night right in
front of the governor.

And the boys here feel we ought
to put him out of his misery.

The boys are kind of taking
the bit in their teeth,

aren't they, Brazos?

Listen,
we got to do something about the Judge.

We gotta keep him from going to
that big meeting at the old mission

tomorrow afternoon.

There's even talk of
having a grand jury.

The Judge will be there,
make quite a speech

at Wells grocery store.

He'll give them some names,
and facts and figures.

And the boys don't like to be talked
about behind their back, Candy.

I'll send him out of
town in the morning.

He'll be on the one o'clock train.

He's been put on trains before,
but he always had a round trip ticket.

But not this time.

This time, I know, Candy will
send him so far, he'll get lost.

He won't get lost, if he stays away.

Only if he comes back.

I tried to talk them out of it
till I was blue in the face.

But that's how they feel.

Must have been a becoming color.
Too bad I couldn't have seen you.

Brazos. We don't want the boys
to go away all mixed up, do we?

We don't want them to get the idea

that anything they said is
responsible for the Judge leaving.

I'm sending him, not the boys.

And I didn't need them to remind me.

Do you think we've got that straight,
Brazos?

Oh sure, boss. Straight as a string.

The only thing the boys
were worried about was

you might be a little
sentimental about your family.

Me, I wasn't worried at all.

What lie are you gonna tell Elisabeth?

I'll tell her that you got
the edge to move again.

When you get settled in Chicago,
drop her a line.

And if you need money, let me know.

Where will you be?
- Right here in Yellow Creek.

Hanging from what tree?

Listen, Judge,
why don't you stop trying to save people

who don't need to be saved?

So long!

I'll have Elisabeth take
the kid back for a visit.

Judge, you're stopping the train.

I know, I'm going back, Fred.

I've got to see the
town about that dog.

I'm in favor of hanging
a rope right now.

Let's wring their necks.
- That never settled anything.

We've got the Judge on our side,

and he's got the lowdown
on everything they've done.

I can't figure out why he did it.

But it has got...
facts, figures and dates.

We won't get any justice in this town.

Then we'll go to the governor.

I ain't so sure of him.
- Then we'll go higher up.

And we'll keep on going
until somebody listens to us.

Everybody in Yellow Creek got
a right to speak his own piece.

Glad you feel that way about it, honey.

As I'm ready to speak mine.

We'd sooner listen to the Judge.

Your guest of honor sends his regrets,
folks,

and asks that I take over.

I understand that you people
feel there's a squawk coming.

Yeah!
- A large one...

When the Judge gets through talking

the grand jury will hear the mile away.

You don't seem to get the point,
Mr Wells.

The Judge is through talking,
but I am not.

I don't like to blow my horn, folks,

But seems to me as though I have
to remind you of a few things.

Haven't you forgotten that
I built the first thing

that looked like a church in this town?

I built the first school?

The first Fire House?

Don't let him round up.

Or he'll have us nod
like Christmas tigers.

I can prove that out of every
dollar collected for taxes

40 cents have gone for
public improvements.

And we can prove 60 cents goes to you.

I don't like a talk like that.

I'm going to let you try out
your proof or pull in your horns.

Maybe I can try out that proof, Candy.

I'm sorry, I'm late, folks.

What happened?
- Brazos killed the judge.

Papa!

Phil, call Dr. Otis.

Come on, boy, give me a hand.
Let's take her into the house.

Where's the hot water?
- How is she?

I can't say yet, Mr Johnson.
Dr. Otis will tell you himself.

That charlatan is
taking his time there.

Don't worry, Candy man.

Women don't get hurt so easy.

Drop them down, and they rise up again.

This Otis, is he a good doctor?
- Sure. The best in Yellow Creek.

He's the only one in Yellow Creek.
To me he's the worst, too

Will you go inside and help the nurse,
please.

Well?

I'm sorry, sir, but your wife
isn't going to have that child.

Mr. Johnson, I must tell you I'
m afraid for your wife, too.

What?
- I'll operate, but-

Operate? What are you talking about?

It's a long chance.
You've got to understand that.

I'll try,
but I cannot give you much hope.

Any hope, really.

Don't tell me my wife is going to die.

I don't like talk like that.

Take hold of yourself,
man, I'm doing my best.

But I'm only human.
- I am not.

And if you don't pull her
through I'll prove it to you.

I swear that, Otis. By your life.

I'm trying everything I know.

You heard me.

Well, the doctor finished,
Candy, but...

we are not going to know anything
much for a couple of hours.

She's still under the drug.

Candy, through my fault Papa's dead.

Poor papa.

He was only trying to help me.

You'd better not talk now, honey.

Papa, he didn't understand
that I couldn't leave you.

No matter what you do.

I should believe you. But I never will.

I should not think about it.
I should not think...

Some day, some day I really won't care

I'll be like you.

I'll lie, cheat, and steal, too.

The drug is still effective.
She doesn't know what she's saying.

How is she?
- We don't know yet.

I got to talk to Candy.
We're heading for trouble.

Not now, Sniper.
- This is serious, honey.

It' s a shooting problem. Candy!

People are holding meetings
all over this town.

Borrough and Fare Wells to lead them.

If they're gonna to get you and
your buds out of Yellow Creek

they are obliged to do it.

Brazos and the boys grabbed the
guns made a hold-up in the city hall

And if you don't tell them what to do,
it's gonna be Brazos.

Candy, you'd better listen to him.

And the Judge getting
himself killed that way,

He toughed off the whole thing.

He should have stayed on that train.

I'll tell you why he came back.

He thought I wasn't
any good for Elisabeth.

He told me her only chance
was to get away from me.

He believed that.

He believed it so much he
got himself killed for it.

That's believing.

Candy, you've been wearing
that carpet out for hours.

Why don't you try to rest?

Well, Mr. Johnson,
your wife is resting quietly.

She's going to be all right.

Thanks, doc. Write your own ticket

for anything you want from me.

At the moment, I think I'll ask
the cook for a cup of coffee.

Gold Dust...

This will tell Elisabeth
where everything is.

Give it to her some time.

Here's the key to the strongbox.

Tell her there's enough
cash in it to last

for 50 years in Yellow Creek.

And a 100 years in Boston.

You're taking a fine time to walk out.

I should have done
that a long while back.

Not unless you're no good
for her like the Judge said.

I've got a different reason.

Her speed is some sucker
working in a grocer store

anything around with ten cans.
That's for her.

I've just found it out.

Your wife is asking for you,
Mr. Johnson.

Tell her I've gone

Never mind.

Here, here.

Did the doctor tell you, Candy?

Sure, honey,
he said you're going to be fine.

I lost your baby.

But you didn't get lost yourself.
That's what counts.

At first I didn't think you
wanted that baby, Candy.

Then you was so happy.

We'll have another one.

You're going to have
everything you want to have.

A nice clean world,
all dressed up in a white shirt

with its face washed.

I like the one I have.

No, you just got kind of used to it.

I couldn't live without it.

You better get some sleep now.

I want to stay awake and
think about my husband.

The doc says you've got
to have some to rest.

Then I could sleep and dream about him.

How about a kiss?

Could you make it a little bigger?

This will have to do me a long time.

For any time away from
you is a long time.

That's just came.

Got another message from Sniper.

People are putting up
barricades outside city hall.

They are getting early
to blow the place apart.

My pal, the governor,
wants to know do I need

militia, to put the citizens
back in their suckers.

And do you?

I take it,
we've got enough killing already

if I still got my voice.

And just to make sure
that I get a chance

to use it I'll take this along.

Good bye, Gold Dust. Don't
take any wooden suckers.

So long... Big Stinky.

All right, stand by, everybody.
We're gonna start this little fracas.

You women keep in the background.
- Women shouldn't be here anyway.

It can't keep them out.
Dan, we're all ready.

Let's unravel some cartridges.

Take it easy, don't rush it out.

Give them a chance to
get out and surrender.

Hey you inside there!

The city hall belongs to this town.

Get out of there,
or we'll start shooting.

You better not try it.
We've got the law on our side.

Come on, boys, watch those windows.

That's Candy Johnson.
What's he doing here?

What do you want?

Where do you think you're going?

You do not think I belong here,
do you?"

No, I don't.
Go in there with your friends.

You and the rest of you got
5 minutes to get out of town.

If you go with your hands
up and your pockets empty.

But we want Brazos
for killing the Judge.

You are bucking duly elected
officers of the town government.

We're just voting you all out.
The fast way.

The governor does not like it that way.

He sent me a telegram, he wants
to know if I need the militia...

to teach you folks some manners.

No use talking, Candy.
We won't hear you last today.

We are in our right,
that's why we gonna lick you

and no one's gonna stop us.

The bigger the herd,
the easier the stampede.

One side, suckers.

Next time you talk to "suckers",
say 'please'.

Get them up.

Candy, these folks came in
with the support of Brazos.

He is right.

The boys think you're a little late,

a little too late to
fit in on this game.

Still trying to play boss.
- I'm boss.

We're changing places.

I get that the high
horse you've been riding

and you'll get a little slug of lead.

But first you gonna do some crawling.

Light me.

I told you once I don't carry matches.

There's plenty matches. Light.

Better try light in Western style,
with thumb nail,

if you can keep your
fingers from shaking.

Three tries, and you're out, Candy man.

This time, you better try light
on the seat of your pants,

sucker style.

Come on, sucker,
reach for he seat of your pants.

Drop it, Candy.

Your accounts with
Brazos is your business.

What will happen to us is up to us.

If we don't give in to the town,
the town will get us.

We've got the law on our side,
but there's a mob out there.

They're gonna shoot us.

You heard the boys. Where do you stand?

Wait a minute,
you've just seen a little family feud.

After what happened to the
Judge you can understand that.

But you, boys? That's different.

Who put you in office?
Who gave you your jobs?

Where do you think I stand?

There was a time when I
wouldn't have agreed with you.

I'd have gone out trying
to talk those rabbits

back into the grounds
and started running.

But I'm still talking to the suckers.
And I'm through running.

Hot lead - that's the only answer
to any questions they can ask.

Just as it is spoken.

We'll show them the holes of our guns

and they will tell them what to do.

If they don't do it
the excitement starts.

When gents like us get into anything

they have to play off
and show the other side.

as well as dough in a sack.

Come on, get to those windows.

Let's limber up your trigger fingers.

When we polish up a
town full of citizens

we'll be famous.

This isn't a real fight.

I can promise you some fireworks
when the militia gets here.

Militia?
- Did you say the militia will come?

Sure, the state militia.

They will come charged with cannons,

and we'll have some nice shiny
bronze buttons to shoot at.

10 on a trooper and 16 on an officer.

What's the militia is coming here for?

I thought the governor
was a friend of yours.

Sure. He is a friend of the end.

And the end is when we start shooting.

He sent me a telegram.

Said he was sending up this uniform
to set us back on our boozy.

But there's a mob there.

Why doesn't the governor
send the troops on to them?

Because he's got a yellow belly.

He knows that once we start shooting

that won't be a mob anymore.

That will be a lot of dead suckers
smelling off a respectable.

Come on, boys, who wants the honor

of shooting the first
one on the ground?

What about you, Adams? Come on!

We got all the money in Yellow Creek,

we got every public office

and we got the law
tied like a rodeo stag.

Say, when I got all that,
I hang on and reach out for more.

Either that or stick our tails
between our legs and start running.

I'm through running.
I've been run out of too many towns.

So I got me a town of my own.
And this is it - my town.

Your town?

I will not fight them
to fill your pockets.

He's right, Candy.
Those troops can massacre us.

Maybe they can and maybe they will.

But what a fight we'll
put up before we lose!

We not gonna run out the back way

just because it's not guarded.

Not us!

We're gonna make it a scrap
every step of the way.

until the last one of
us grabs his belly and

and falls with his face in the dirt.

I ain't too proud to go the back way.

How about you, boys?
- Me neither!

Hey, wait a minute.
Come back you devils! Adams, come here.

You have no more to lose than I do

except for the brains and a
couple of gallons of blood.

Come back, you yellow snouts!

Light me.

You're getting more like
Brazos every minute.

I ought to be dead to be like Brazos.

You are dead in Yellow Creek.

You've just given the town
back to those suckers.

You are crazy.
My brave army just ran out on me.

Ran like dogs on fire.

You mean you ran them out yourself?

Candy, that was the best con
speech I've ever heard in my life.

What do you mean: con speech? I just
only tried to get them interested.

All right, move in, it's vacant.

Vacant?
What about that gang of cut-throats?

Here they come. Looks like old times.

Where are they?
- Where's the rest of that gang?

They went out the back way.
That's right, Dan, they're gone.

What about Brazos?
- He's got a hole drilled in him.

They can hang him up on a nail.

One side, suckers.

Please.

I hope this train is
headed for Cheyenne.

What about our laundry?
- Forget it

It's a little frayed around the edges,
anyway.

I'm kind of sorry to see him go.
- Why?

Never mind,
I wouldn't know what I mean anyhow.

Why?
- Because you ain't a female!

What's that you're playing, boys?
Poker?

Why don't you sit down and find out?

Thanks. I don't mind if I do.

Pardon me.

Sniper!

I could not be more gladder to see you

as if you are the fat sucker from Iowa.

Sniper, I've never told you this,
but you're a beautiful man.

Candy's up upstairs. Room 206.

The first turn on the left.
At the head of the stairs.

You're smart and I like you
taste in postcards, too.

Where are you going?
- Room 206.

The first turn on the left.

And Mrs.

Come in!

It's bad luck to say goodbye
twice to the same person.

So don't say it.

You said it once and
you didn't mean it.

You're a liar, Mr. Johnson.

I don't want any more talk.
I don't know what you mean

when you say you came
here because I've changed.

Yes, Candy.
- I haven't changed.

And you're here because
you're crazy about me.

Yes, Candy.

You like me the way I was
and the way I always will be.

You wouldn't change a hair of my head.

No, Candy man.

Now for understanding it so well,
what do I get?