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♪ Dirty Mouth by Alice Phoebe Lou ♪
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♪ I want nothing ♪
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♪ I want it all now ♪
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♪ I've got a dirty mouth ♪
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♪ I'm gonna wash it out ♪
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♪ I've got baggage ♪
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♪ It's got big wheels ♪
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♪ I got a little dog ♪
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♪ Biting at my heels ♪
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It's like calm down.
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♪ Not gonna make your dreams come true ♪
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♪ Don't touch me ♪
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♪ Don't even look at me ♪
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Q: Is she going into Celeste's office?
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♪ I've got laser beams ♪
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♪ Coming out my eyes ♪
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♪ Do you still really ♪
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♪ Wanna mess with me? ♪
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Don't look at me like that.
I need to do this.
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♪ Mess with me? ♪
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[typing]
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[ring tone]
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DELPHINE [on phone]:
This is Delphine Young.
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Hi! [nervous laugh]
Hello. You answered.
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Yeah, that's how
the phone works. Who is this?
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Right, sorry. Um,
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this is Jules Wiley.
We met at the
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DELPHINE [on phone]:
The Wellness Summit.
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The tech nerd at heart. I remember.
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You do? Um, amazing
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because I remember you
and your exhibit very well.
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I even recommended it to a stranger
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on the street recently,
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and I hate strangers, so high praise.
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[clears throat]
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Anyway, uh, I've given it
a lot of thought,
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and I would really love
to come in for an interview
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if that's still on the table.
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DELPHINE: Sure.
I'm running to a meeting now,
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and I'm off to London
for a popup exhibit,
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but I'll be back in a month,
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and we can get something on the books.
43
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Next month? Um...
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Look, I know this sounds crazy,
but I'm turning 30 next week,
45
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and I'm finally ready
to go after what I want,
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and that is this job.
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Alright. I have a dinner,
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but I can meet you afterwards.
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Soho Warehouse 9 PM.
Tell them you're my guest.
50
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They're mean to nonmembers.
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[sighs]
[knocking on glass]
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Is there no privacy here?
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No. We live in a glass house.
54
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Yeah, and there's an emergency situation
that needs your attention.
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What?
Well, we can't talk here. Obviously.
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SKY: Come on. I know where.
[Jules sighs]
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What is happening,
besides My Little Pony
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taking a dump in the conference room?
She took a shit on my week.
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Celeste decided to reach
our mom audience.
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She wants to do
a Children's Woöm Gift Guide,
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so I'm fielding products for it.
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But, the amount of princess stuff
I've been sent is truly haunting.
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What year is it? Did they not come up
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with better ways to
traumatize children yet?
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More like onceuponatime's up.
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I wrote my senior thesis
on why stories like this
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reinforce problematic stereotypes.
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Sexism, racism, ableism.
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Pretty much all the isms are an issue.
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I mean, that mermaid
gave up her literal voice
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for a vagina and legs
to try and hook up with that guy
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who got drunk and fell off his
dad's boat on his birthday.
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Like, that is just a no for me.
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I would never give up
my voice for my legs.
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Okay, is this a TED Talk?
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Which I'm down for,
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but I thought you said
there was a problem.
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We have tea about where Izzy is.
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And the tea is hot.
It's, like, scalding.
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It's burn your insides.
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Izzy is with Alison J.
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What?
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No. Izzy is on a postbreakup
solo wine weekend.
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Aw, sis, you've been lied to.
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We sensed something shady was
going down at the Wellness Summit,
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so we've been keeping our ears
to the ground for the past few weeks.
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After the 25th microaggression in a row,
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one of the assistants at the Alisons
had just, like, had it.
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So, we met with her, and then
two sips into her dirty martini
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Told us that damn ugly truth.
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♪
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Q: Once upon a time,
there was a king named Colin
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and a queen named Celeste,
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who had a nasty fucking divorce
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when the king cheated on the queen
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by fucking your best friend.
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Anyway...
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SKY: Like, seriously,
Madison is so pretty. Continue.
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Q: The king really wanted
the castle in Malibu,
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but the Queen wouldn't budge,
since he had betrayed her.
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[knights grunt]
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SKY: So now,
the king is coming after her heart.
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[indistinct mumbling]
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He's accusing her of lying about how much
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the Kingdom of Woöm is worth
and is willing to do whatever it takes
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to prove it and take the queen down.
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Grr!
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Q:
The king has even enlisted the help
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of the queen's former royal court,
the Alisons,
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by promising them a handsome prize.
ALISONS: Ooh!
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SKY: He's offered them Series B
funding for their company
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in exchange for damaging
financial info from Woöm.
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Q: But because they had
already left the kingdom,
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the Alisons had to lure Princess Izzy
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to their chic boutique hotel in the woods.
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♪
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[cork pops]
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SKY: Now, they've trapped
Princess Izzy under their spell.
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They're offering her a job, but really,
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they're just after her
work computer with documents
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to stab Queen Celeste in the back...
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[beeping]
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Q:
So they can live happily ever after
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on a therapist's couch
because these people are messy.
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00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:12,984
[sighs]
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Whoa, that is a lot to unpack.
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Okay, I've unpacked it, and it's very bad!
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♪ theme song ♪
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[squeaking, caps highlighter]
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[squeaking, click]
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[sighs]
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[squeak, click]
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[squeak]
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Sorry, is this annoying?
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00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,589
Yes.
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00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,931
[sighs] Well, it's the bar's grand
opening party guest list.
137
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,310
So, yellow is family and friends,
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00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:52,348
pink are for the influencers,
and blue is...
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Well, literally just two guys
from my internship
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00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,653
that I wanna see how well I'm doing.
[laughs] Naturally.
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00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,148
[phone buzzing]
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It's Liv.
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00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,028
Hey.
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00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:03,988
Yeah.
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00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:05,870
Okay.
146
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,201
Yeah.
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00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,201
Sure.
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00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:11,964
I hear you.
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00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:13,789
Yeah.
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00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,919
[sighs]
[uncaps highlighter]
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00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:22,221
Stella Cole, you repop that top
and start talking.
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00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,546
What is going on with you and Liv?
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00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,178
It's nothing.
Really?
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00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,678
Because you asked to work
from my place today,
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and that phone call had all the syllables
of a very depressing haiku.
156
00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:32,812
She is just working
on the inspection,
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and I am dealing with the party.
158
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,357
Also, there was this weird
potential breakup thing
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that I really don't wanna talk about.
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00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,275
Are you sure?
Yes.
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I just want to focus on the opening
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and everything I need to get done.
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Speaking of which,
did Ruby come through
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with a band to play at the party?
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Um...
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00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,289
What's wrong with Ruby?
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Nothing, besides the fact
that she's someone
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I'll never speak to again
for the rest of my life.
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00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:57,132
Okay, well, that's gonna be
a longass flight to Australia.
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[sighs]
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The tour isn't happening.
I put all of my career eggs
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00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,298
in Ruby's basket,
and she fucking scrambled them.
173
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,628
Not all of your eggs.
174
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:07,473
I mean, what about
Lotus Dragon Bebe, right?
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00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,889
I remember you telling me something about
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00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,387
some live show
she's doing with a princess.
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00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,809
Introducing one erotic dancer
to one royal investor
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does not a PR career make, Stella.
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00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,982
So, does Jules know
about this Ruby thing?
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[sighs] I've picked up my phone
a million times this weekend to text her,
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00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,688
but I just feel like such an idiot.
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I don't know what I'm gonna
say the next time I see her.
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00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,449
[door opens]
JULES: Uh, hello?
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Well, looks like we're
all about to find out.
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00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,701
Guys! I have
to tell you something!
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♪
187
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,544
Hi.
Hi.
188
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,457
We should probably talk.
189
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,248
We should, but that is not
why I busted in dramatically.
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00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,673
Oh, right, you did just do that.
What's wrong?
191
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,972
Izzy's in trouble.
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00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,217
I'm very winded.
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00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:51,852
♪
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00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,927
I think I'm in a Colinrelated
rage blackout,
195
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,142
so I'm struggling to process.
196
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,482
And I already tried calling her,
like, 55 times
197
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,147
on the way over here
and she's not answering.
198
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,646
Okay, maybe Izzy thinks that
you're calling her from work
199
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,278
or with Celeste or something?
200
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:04,815
I mean, we can try from my phone.
201
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:05,688
Oh! Good idea.
202
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,744
'Cause you're less of a friend
and more of a deity to Izzy.
203
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,108
She would never not answer for you.
204
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:10,624
Yeah, put it on speaker.
205
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:12,736
[phone ringing]
206
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,663
IZZY [on phone]: Hey.
Izzy?
207
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,791
Are you okay?
I'm with Jules and Madison.
208
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,464
Sorry, it's not a great time.
209
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,208
Okay, Izzy, listen, you have to
leave those girls and come home.
210
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,251
Stella, they're offering me a job.
211
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,508
No, Izzy, they can't be trusted, okay?
212
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,008
They're using you. I mean,
they don't actually care about you.
213
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,510
Oh 'cause, like, who would
actually care about me,
214
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,773
right? [sarcastic laugh]
What?
215
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:37,345
No. No, that's not what I meant at all.
216
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,351
Izzy, this is not like you.
What's wrong?
217
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:41,863
Whatever. I gotta go.
218
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,984
[line beeping]
219
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,532
♪
220
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,236
Did Izzy...
221
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:49,066
just hang up...
222
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,571
on Stella?
223
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,492
This feels crazy.
Are we in the upside down?
224
00:08:53,075 --> 00:08:55,285
Yeah, she did. Something is wrong.
225
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,655
Something is very, very wrong.
226
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,955
Hey.
ALISON J: Hey.
227
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:02,668
Sorry about that. Um,
228
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:05,378
running a little late this morning
dealing with some shit. [laughs]
229
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,009
No worries, lady. I'm just très pleased
230
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:10,336
we have some more time to chat.
How'd you sleep?
231
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:13,432
Well, after receiving very
upsetting news about my boss,
232
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,138
and then lying to all my best friends,
233
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,928
I would say I got a solid
six to eight minutes.
234
00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:20,272
The Alisons just thought you
should know what Celeste did.
235
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,189
I mean, they point blank
told her when they left Woöm
236
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:23,607
that they wanted to take you with them,
237
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,565
and the only reason they didn't
is because she said
238
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,566
she was gonna promote you, so.
239
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,778
They definitely don't do
a Bloody Mary here?
240
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:33,239
Just struggling with breakfast wine.
241
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,700
We all realized she lied
when she picked Jules instead.
242
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:39,541
And that is not the only
thing she lied about.
243
00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:40,908
♪
244
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,674
Um... What else?
245
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,548
She completely lied
about how much Woöm is worth
246
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,205
in her divorce proceedings.
247
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,093
That's why there was
so much drama in the separation.
248
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,260
And, on a personal note,
249
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,678
we take the same Pilates class,
and she never says hi.
250
00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:56,047
Oh, in her defense, she's really
not a greetings person, so don't
251
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:59,104
Izzy, I'm not kidding.
She committed fraud.
252
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,810
Do you really think so?
253
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,809
Yes, I could show you.
254
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,357
You know, if you, I don't know,
have your work laptop,
255
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,226
you might have access to the shared
drive with the financial reports.
256
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:17,992
So, what do we do?
257
00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,753
This feels like friend
threat level midnight.
258
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:20,745
STELLA:
I agree.
259
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,536
I mean, I don't think Izzy
would ever hang up on me
260
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,709
if she wasn't secretly under the threat
of clear and present danger.
261
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,709
The Alisons must've hypnotized her,
or put her under a spell or something.
262
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,212
What if she's being brainwashed?
263
00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,594
Or blackmailed. Wait!
264
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,891
What if they have collateral
on her like NXIVM?
265
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,255
Naked pictures?
[Jules gasps]
266
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,931
What if they're forcing her
to play volleyball?
267
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,010
MADISON:
Ugh...
268
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,524
Okay, this is now
a rescue mission. I will drive.
269
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,887
Wait, isn't Napa,
like, eight hours away?
270
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,354
Oh god, I don't have eight hours.
271
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:48,114
I have to be downtown tonight
at 9:00 PM for a work meeting
272
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:51,106
that is very important.
Not savingIzzy important.
273
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,399
Just one that I should
definitely not miss.
274
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,623
The next available flight with seats
isn't until tomorrow afternoon.
275
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,075
Okay, well, are trains still a thing?
276
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,825
They exist, yeah, but it's not gonna
be faster with all the stops.
277
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,117
Okay, well, does anyone
have a fairy godmother then?
278
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:04,829
I know a princess.
279
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:06,831
Uh, what are you saying?
280
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,674
I'm saying I don't have
a fairy godmother,
281
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,299
but the investor in the Bebe's live show
282
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,296
is a literal princess.
283
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,184
Who has a plane.
284
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,045
♪
285
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:22,097
♪ This is my squad ♪
286
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:25,308
STELLA: It would be insensitive of me
to put this on my IG story, right?
287
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,980
I mean, considering
Izzy might be in trouble.
288
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,519
Hm, feels like
a bank for later situation.
289
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,363
But, you don't not look like
Beyoncé right now.
290
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,438
[laughs]
[shutter snaps]
291
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,192
Holy shit, she has a helicopter, too?
292
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,704
You should see the yacht.
293
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,822
Fuck it. For the bank!
Okay, let me get a pic!
294
00:11:38,824 --> 00:11:40,164
[Madison laughs]
295
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:43,328
One more? Yes! Got it! My turn.
[shutter snapping]
296
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:46,368
♪ We got it, we got it, oh yeah ♪
297
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,383
[plane roaring]
298
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:51,668
♪ We come together ♪
299
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,840
♪ We come together ♪
300
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,969
♪ This is my squad ♪
301
00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,587
[shutter snaps]
For the bank.
302
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,224
♪ soft music ♪
303
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,970
[sighs] I will say massage chairs
304
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:04,522
built into an airplane are inspired.
305
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,846
I'm still too mad at Colin
to enjoy sky caviar.
306
00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,403
Alright, maybe I'll try just one.
[laughs]
307
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,610
Do we think that Celeste actually lied
about how much Woöm is worth?
308
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:15,359
To be honest, I have no idea.
309
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,860
But given the history with Colin,
I wouldn't exactly blame her.
310
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,493
You know, I didn't think
it was possible for me
311
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,829
to hate him any more
than I already did, and yet...
312
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,865
That dude is straightup diabolical.
313
00:12:23,869 --> 00:12:25,369
I mean, at first, I thought he was like
314
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,410
The Affair season one evil,
315
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,584
but this is a whole other level.
316
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:32,793
This is like Succession season three evil.
317
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,804
It's insane he's coming
after her like this.
318
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,876
And using her employees.
He's like a reallife villain.
319
00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,263
Yeah, the fairy tales we grew up on
320
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,799
did not prepare us for what reallife
villains were going to look like.
321
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,513
Yeah, that's true
because most villains
322
00:12:43,514 --> 00:12:45,274
are just middleaged white guys.
323
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,845
Right? Those movies made us
scared of women with heavy eyeliner.
324
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:51,102
I still can't believe Izzy
got wrapped up in all this.
325
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,654
I know she used to be influenced
by the Alisons or whatever,
326
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,529
but this is
JULES: Extreme.
327
00:12:55,526 --> 00:12:57,276
I just hope we can get to her
before they force her
328
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,027
to do something she'll regret.
STELLA: I know.
329
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,373
I'm so worried.
330
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,655
And yet so comfortable.
[smug giggling]
331
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:08,331
[sighs] Should we have a drink?
332
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,330
♪
333
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,879
You're doing the right thing, Izzy.
334
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,169
I don't know
what I'm doing anymore.
335
00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,973
I pushed my boyfriend away,
336
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,217
and I hung up on my best friends.
337
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,049
ALISON: No, no, no.
I'll tell you what you're doing.
338
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:27,144
You are making yourself
the main character in your story.
339
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,310
And guess what? I'm bingeing it.
340
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,611
[sighs] Here. Just take it.
341
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,071
So dramatic. [laughs]
342
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:45,946
Wait, where are you going?
343
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:47,701
I got us one last
wine tasting to celebrate
344
00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:50,913
before we go back to LA! [laughs]
345
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,999
Okay... Weird to walk away
and not say anything.
346
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,054
[squeal]
347
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,340
[clicking]
Secrets, secrets, secret, secrets.
348
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,220
[panting]
349
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:04,427
Hi. The concierge said
this is where we could find one
350
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:06,928
or more extremely
problematic women named Alison.
351
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,930
♪
352
00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:12,773
ALISON J:
Oh my god.
353
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,689
[imitates siren]
354
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,478
[slurred] The freaking friend squad
is here. What's up, girlies?
355
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,822
Jesus.
Wine has been tasted.
356
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:22,108
JULES: Alison, you are too drunk
to process this,
357
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:25,532
but we are very disappointed
in you. Where is Izzy?
358
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,622
Wait, isn't that her laptop?
Did you steal it?
359
00:14:27,618 --> 00:14:28,538
No.
STELLA: What, do you
360
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,995
have her chained
to a radiator or something?
361
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:31,285
Okay, the five of you...
362
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:32,288
There's three of us.
363
00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:33,869
...need to listen.
364
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,214
I didn't take this.
365
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:36,789
Izzy gave it to me,
366
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,963
just like she gave me all the little wines
367
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,592
because she didn't want them
because she's being emo as hell.
368
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,680
[laughs]
Then she went on a walk.
369
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,965
Wait, if Izzy gave that
to her willingly, then...
370
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,799
I'm officially freaked out.
We have to find her.
371
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,104
How? This place
is like a wine continent.
372
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,098
Look, we have to split up.
Text each other if we find her.
373
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,650
God, I'm really worried about her.
We'll find her.
374
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,305
Bye. [giggles]
375
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,899
SKY:
With Princess Izzy captured,
376
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:01,399
our babes in shining couture
came to her rescue.
377
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,031
Q: I mean, they're wearing offtherack,
but fine.
378
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,739
Izzy!
379
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:08,079
♪
380
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,075
Izzy!
381
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,995
Izzy!
382
00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:15,497
Where are you?!
383
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,590
SKY: Jules arrived expecting to
rescue Izzy from the Alisons grasp,
384
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:24,337
only to discover the real villain
maybe someone even more dangerous.
385
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,841
Q: Izzy herself.
386
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:28,853
♪ Broadway music ♪
387
00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:29,846
[sighs]
388
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,519
♪ If you think dragons guarding castles ♪
389
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,574
♪ Can keep a girl confined ♪
390
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:46,068
♪ I'll tell you, they have nothing on ♪
391
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,871
♪ The ones inside my mind ♪
392
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:51,866
♪ Yes, I believed in happy endings ♪
393
00:15:51,869 --> 00:15:54,539
♪ Once upon a time ♪
394
00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:57,208
♪ But happiness may be a thing ♪
395
00:15:57,207 --> 00:16:00,287
♪ For which I'm not designed ♪
396
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,884
♪ I met a prince who thought
the world of me ♪
397
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,671
♪ And sent him packing ♪
398
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:07,264
♪ He'll never know ♪
399
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:08,929
♪ The problem lies ♪
400
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,257
♪ Within all that I'm lacking ♪
401
00:16:11,722 --> 00:16:13,852
♪ No true love kiss can wake me ♪
402
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:17,439
♪ From a curse of my own making ♪
403
00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:20,106
♪ The dream that I deserved him ♪
404
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,315
♪ Was the dream that I'd be faking ♪
405
00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:26,284
♪ This funk that I've been stuck in ♪
406
00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:29,568
♪ For a lifetime feels unshakable ♪
407
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:31,533
♪ I'm starting to believe ♪
408
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:35,333
♪ That I am the curse that's unbreakable ♪
409
00:16:35,329 --> 00:16:38,249
♪ What magic power
could come and set me ♪
410
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,668
♪ Free? ♪
411
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,707
♪ When the terrible tower I'm trapped in ♪
412
00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:46,092
♪ Is me? ♪
413
00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:49,085
♪ Is me ♪
414
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,092
[inaudible]
415
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:54,104
♪
416
00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:58,226
♪ Sometimes, I tell myself I'm nothing ♪
417
00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:01,147
♪ That I matter not at all ♪
418
00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:03,316
♪ The darkest foe I've ever met ♪
419
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:06,685
♪ Lives in the mirror on the wall ♪
420
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,493
♪ And it may sound like I'm complaining ♪
421
00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:12,318
♪ But truth be told, I'm scared ♪
422
00:17:12,324 --> 00:17:14,794
♪ That these feelings I'm containing ♪
423
00:17:14,785 --> 00:17:17,745
♪ Might just kill me if not shared ♪
424
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:23,384
♪ This funk that I've been stuck in ♪
425
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:26,757
♪ For a lifetime feels unshakable ♪
426
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,585
♪ I'm starting to believe ♪
427
00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:32,470
♪ That I'm the curse that's unbreakable ♪
428
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:35,389
♪ What magic power could come and set me ♪
429
00:17:35,389 --> 00:17:37,679
♪ Free? ♪
430
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:40,853
♪ When the terrible tower I'm trapped in ♪
431
00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:43,403
♪ Is me? ♪
432
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:44,647
♪ Is me... ♪
433
00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:45,898
ALL:
Izzy!
434
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,989
Izzy! Come on, she's going this way.
435
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,237
[knocking]
436
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,541
Iz? We know you're there! It's us!
437
00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:59,285
[knocking]
MADISON: Hello? Please open up!
438
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,502
JULES: The concierge gave us a key, Izzy!
We're coming in.
439
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,384
[all gasp]
440
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:08,377
♪ dramatic music ♪
441
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:19,269
Do you think she, like, took something?
Who knows CPR?
442
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,766
I mean, I had to learn it
in case Bruno choked on a Lego.
443
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:22,978
Okay, okay.
444
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:25,978
♪
445
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,073
[gasps]
446
00:18:29,067 --> 00:18:31,237
[gasps] Oh, thank fuck!
[gasps] Oh, thank God. You're okay.
447
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:32,606
What are you guys doing here?
448
00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:33,993
We were worried about you.
449
00:18:34,573 --> 00:18:35,783
Wh...
450
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,282
Why are you trying
to make out with me?
451
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,754
Okay, that was CPR
that I learned on YouTube.
452
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,615
I mean, I probably
should've taken a real class
453
00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:43,212
'cause I had no idea
what I was doing there.
454
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:44,957
Yeah, you used tongue?
455
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,038
Look, you scared
the shit out of us.
456
00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:49,254
Yeah, we were worried you took
a bunch of pills or something.
457
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:52,094
Oh god, no. I just didn't get
a lot of sleep last night.
458
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,720
I was taking a deeply sad nap.
459
00:18:53,717 --> 00:18:56,887
Izzy, what is going on?
You're not acting like yourself.
460
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,347
You lied, and you lied well.
461
00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:01,097
I know.
Can't believe I pulled that off.
462
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,479
Should I get into politics?
463
00:19:02,476 --> 00:19:04,726
The Alisons are trying
to screw over Celeste
464
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,808
because they think Colin
will give them money if they do.
465
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,323
Those bribetaking Barbies
are not to be trusted.
466
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,896
I know, except they can't
screw Celeste over
467
00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:13,652
because she isn't lying.
468
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,994
But, those financial documents
the Alisons were after?
469
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:20,290
Everything Celeste reported
about Woöm is actually true.
470
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,325
We're pretty much broke.
471
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,958
But, wewe charge $200
for eyebrow brushes!
472
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:27,667
They're just tiny combs!
How is that possible?
473
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:30,248
Celeste has always said,
"You gotta spend money to make money,"
474
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,054
but I think she took it too far,
and I'm pretty sure she only watched
475
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,588
the first half of the WeWork documentary.
476
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,642
That sculpture right by the front
entrance? She spent 50K on it.
477
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:42,023
The one we use as a coat rack?
478
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,765
Well, if there was nothing bad on
the laptop, why did you give it to them?
479
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,017
I don't know. I guess it just
sort of felt like a symbolic gesture
480
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,441
of me giving the fuck up.
481
00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:51,529
I just get in a dark place sometimes.
482
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,815
Can't believe I have to spend
the rest of my life with myself.
483
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,610
Okay. Izzy,
484
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,283
we're here to snap you out of it.
485
00:19:58,282 --> 00:20:01,082
You better start being nicer to yourself,
or I'm gonna fuck you up.
486
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,786
That's my best friend
you're talking about.
487
00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:05,076
Yeah. If you keep shitting on yourself,
we'll all beat you up.
488
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,920
Because we love you.
IZZY: Ugh, I am out of it.
489
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,126
You're right.
490
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:11,546
I'm sorry I lied to you guys.
491
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:13,545
I hate keeping things from you.
492
00:20:13,547 --> 00:20:15,717
MADISON: We all need to be honest
with each other.
493
00:20:15,716 --> 00:20:17,966
♪
494
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,388
Okay, well...
495
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,676
I'm not sure I'm ready
for a girlfriend and a kid.
496
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,020
And I mean, if I'm not,
then I can't do that to Bruno
497
00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:27,897
because I know what that feels like.
I was that kid.
498
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,571
So, Ruby kind of imploded.
499
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,358
Like, scorched earthstyle.
500
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:38,607
Australia canceled,
501
00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,574
career getting on track canceled,
502
00:20:40,574 --> 00:20:43,294
friendship canceled. All of it.
503
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,581
[Jules sighs, clears throat]
504
00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,174
I wanna quit my job.
505
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,044
Wait, what?
506
00:20:52,628 --> 00:20:55,378
The meeting I have to be back
for tonight isn't for Woöm.
507
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,880
It's an interview for that
digital media job at the museum.
508
00:20:57,883 --> 00:20:59,683
Whoa. Uh,
509
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,466
okay, I'm seeing
we all had a lot to share.
510
00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:04,851
I'm really sorry I didn't listen
to your Spidey senses.
511
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,394
I'm really sorry they were right.
512
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:10,062
I'm feeling a really strong
urge to suggest a group hug.
513
00:21:10,062 --> 00:21:12,152
Let's not do the whole
bottleupourfeelings
514
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:13,977
andnottelleachotherthings ever again.
515
00:21:13,982 --> 00:21:16,362
Yeah, who did
we think we were? Men?
516
00:21:17,486 --> 00:21:19,526
Jules, we do have to get
back to the private jet
517
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:21,870
if you wanna make it in time.
Oh, wait a second.
518
00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:23,695
Did you just say "private jet"?
519
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,700
Did you guys come to
rescue me in a private jet?
520
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,042
Told you we loved you.
521
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,407
Okay, fuck it. I need the hug.
522
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:29,673
[laughter]
523
00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:32,544
Okay, bonding moment over.
We have to go.
524
00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:33,883
IZZY: Okay.
MADISON: Okay.
525
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:36,507
And who the fuck has a private jet?
526
00:21:36,505 --> 00:21:38,295
[slurred]: Can I please speak
to your manager?
527
00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,178
I mean, you have chicken.
You have cheese.
528
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:43,925
There's no reason room service can't
make me an offthemenu quesadilla.
529
00:21:43,929 --> 00:21:46,929
Seriously, my day has taken a turn
that's, like, less than ideal.
530
00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:47,932
[mumbles]
531
00:21:47,933 --> 00:21:50,393
Guess you found out by now
that Celeste wasn't lying.
532
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:54,154
Um, it's really weird that you
still pay for music on iTunes.
533
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:55,147
I know.
534
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:57,108
Do you have anything else
you'd like to say to her?
535
00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:59,069
Like, "Sorry for being awful"?
536
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:00,454
[sighs]
537
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,744
I was just trying to be who
the Alisons wanted me to be.
538
00:22:04,283 --> 00:22:07,953
I know what it's like to wanna be
anyone else other than yourself.
539
00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:09,583
I'm a fucking Karen.
540
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,077
Like, that's my real legal name.
541
00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:16,211
But it doesn't mean you have
to be an actual Karen, okay?
542
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:18,301
And trying to be an Allison by hurting
543
00:22:18,297 --> 00:22:21,047
and manipulating people
is not the answer.
544
00:22:21,550 --> 00:22:25,010
Now, if you'll excuse us,
we have a private jet to catch.
545
00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:28,892
You guys are taking a PJ back to LA?
Could I hop a ride?
546
00:22:28,891 --> 00:22:30,641
MADISON: Ha! Absolutely not.
IZZY: Sorry.
547
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:32,772
But, enjoy Southwest.
548
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:37,066
God, I'm never making it
to this 9:00 meeting.
549
00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:39,525
By the time we land
and drive downtown in traffic...
550
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,026
But, if you had a helicopter...
551
00:22:42,029 --> 00:22:43,279
She has a helicopter!
552
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,830
♪ I'm mad at Disney,
Disney, they tricked me ♪
553
00:22:46,825 --> 00:22:48,365
JULES: I think it's that building.
554
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:51,248
PILOT: Roger that, setting her down.
JULES: I hope this is okay.
555
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:52,576
I'm not a member.
556
00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:54,921
♪ I'm 20something, I still... ♪
557
00:22:54,917 --> 00:22:56,287
JULES:
Thanks, Pete!
558
00:22:56,293 --> 00:22:58,803
[helicopter whirring]
559
00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:00,335
♪ What I'm not ♪
560
00:23:00,339 --> 00:23:01,589
[beep]
561
00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:04,091
Made it.
562
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:06,222
♪
563
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:08,350
[helicopter whirring]
564
00:23:08,347 --> 00:23:10,467
♪ 'Cause I felt sad love ♪
565
00:23:10,474 --> 00:23:12,604
♪ I felt bad love ♪
566
00:23:12,601 --> 00:23:14,521
♪ Sometimes happy love ♪
567
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,860
♪ Turns into giving up ♪
568
00:23:16,855 --> 00:23:18,935
♪ I felt hurt love ♪
569
00:23:18,941 --> 00:23:21,031
♪ By the word love ♪
570
00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:23,196
♪ Oh, what the hell is love ♪
571
00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:26,315
♪ Supposed to feel like? ♪
572
00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:29,583
♪ What the hell is love,
what the hell is love ♪
573
00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:31,656
♪ What the hell is love ♪
574
00:23:31,662 --> 00:23:34,622
♪ Supposed to feel like? ♪
575
00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,883
♪ What the hell is love,
what the hell is love ♪
576
00:23:37,876 --> 00:23:39,956
♪ What the hell is love ♪
577
00:23:39,962 --> 00:23:42,762
♪ Supposed to feel like? ♪
578
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:45,756
♪
579
00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:52,894
♪ I'm mad at Disney, Disney ♪
580
00:23:52,891 --> 00:23:55,771
♪ They tricked me, tricked me,
no more wishing ♪
581
00:23:55,769 --> 00:23:59,359
♪ On a shooting star ♪
582
00:23:59,409 --> 00:24:03,959
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