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1
00:00:01,053 --> 00:00:07,826
From the marble steps of old DC
to the sun soaked Tampa coast.
2
00:00:07,827 --> 00:00:12,614
I have been to every place where
you can find a human race but
3
00:00:12,615 --> 00:00:15,003
I have been Vicki the mooooooost!
4
00:00:16,011 --> 00:00:19,572
I'm gonna go get a shovel,
because theater is dead.
5
00:00:19,573 --> 00:00:20,573
Shh.
6
00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:30,548
Hi Starburns.
7
00:00:30,549 --> 00:00:35,140
Todd, you know you don't have to
creep around to be weird, right?
8
00:00:35,141 --> 00:00:37,250
You're weird at picnics.
9
00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:39,140
Did you hear about the paintball game?
10
00:00:39,141 --> 00:00:40,210
Yeah, I heard there was no paintball.
11
00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:41,490
I heard it was banned.
12
00:00:41,491 --> 00:00:44,370
Well, you can't believe
everything you hear.
13
00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:48,309
Okay, you just asked if
I heard something and
14
00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:51,635
now you're invalidating the whole.
15
00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:52,636
Oh! Aah!
16
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:38,110
Do you know why I beat you, Todd?
17
00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,726
Seriously, you don't?
18
00:01:40,856 --> 00:01:42,183
Cuz I don't either, but that was insane.
19
00:01:42,184 --> 00:01:43,698
I'm 50, here.
20
00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:45,733
I think, I think I could win this year.
21
00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,114
I think I can go all the way.
22
00:01:47,115 --> 00:01:50,860
Actually, you'll be settling for silver.
23
00:02:27,342 --> 00:02:29,977
Names, you give me names or
you're expelled, that simple.
24
00:02:29,978 --> 00:02:33,239
I told ya, I don't know nothing
about no secret paintball games.
25
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,748
This is from huffing paint, I swear.
26
00:02:35,749 --> 00:02:37,785
Escort Alex Osbourne off campus.
27
00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:38,795
Hey, hey, hey!
28
00:02:38,796 --> 00:02:39,962
Hold your horse panties.
29
00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,901
You didn't tell me you knew my name.
30
00:02:41,902 --> 00:02:45,273
Look, I was about to take Todd
out, and then we both got shot.
31
00:02:45,274 --> 00:02:46,602
Guy was invisible.
32
00:02:46,603 --> 00:02:48,013
A ghost.
33
00:02:48,014 --> 00:02:50,759
Uses silver paint.
34
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:51,889
A ghost?
35
00:02:51,890 --> 00:02:52,399
So no name?
36
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,780
I'd call him Silver Ghost, but
37
00:02:53,781 --> 00:02:57,116
that's probably already taken by an
indie comic book or a terrible tequila.
38
00:02:57,117 --> 00:02:58,916
Bye forever Starburns.
39
00:02:58,917 --> 00:02:59,489
No.
40
00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:01,187
No. No, no, no, no.
41
00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:01,938
No, don't make me. Frankie?
42
00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:04,649
Dean, I respect that you are
my boss, so either fire me or
43
00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:07,027
let me handle this and go to your office.
44
00:03:07,028 --> 00:03:11,214
I want to give your paintball
friends a message, Jeff.
45
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:12,317
Good morning.
46
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:14,684
This era is over.
47
00:03:14,685 --> 00:03:17,004
It was fun while it lasted,
but now mommy's home.
48
00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:19,914
Everybody with a gun will
be expelled or fired.
49
00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:20,844
Don't worry, Miss Dart.
50
00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:22,884
My boys and I will get this
cleaned up in no time.
51
00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:23,704
Thank you.
52
00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:25,564
Jeff, do you know Deputy Custodian Lapari.
53
00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:29,034
Oh, we haven't had the pleasure because Mr.
Winger has caused me nothing
54
00:03:29,035 --> 00:03:31,264
but pain over the years
with his paint balling.
55
00:03:31,265 --> 00:03:32,354
I'm sorry. I quit that.
56
00:03:32,355 --> 00:03:33,314
That's behind me.
57
00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:34,315
Sure it is.
58
00:03:35,995 --> 00:03:37,764
Handling turds has rubbed off on him.
59
00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:41,164
Custodian Lapari is gonna be
honored this week at the Gala for
60
00:03:41,165 --> 00:03:42,334
a Cleaner Greendale.
61
00:03:42,335 --> 00:03:43,624
I'd like you to introduce him.
62
00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:44,294
Why would I do that?
63
00:03:44,295 --> 00:03:46,444
Because you're the de facto
leader of Greendale.
64
00:03:46,445 --> 00:03:49,764
And if you gave a speech coming out
against paintball, it might end it.
65
00:03:49,765 --> 00:03:50,474
No. No.
66
00:03:50,475 --> 00:03:53,094
Just because I'm not playing doesn't
mean I'm the weenie that tells
67
00:03:53,095 --> 00:03:54,095
people not to.
68
00:03:54,975 --> 00:03:56,284
Please?
69
00:03:56,285 --> 00:03:57,645
If not for Greendale, then for me?
70
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,872
I'll think about it.
71
00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:07,862
Look, I was a different guy back then.
72
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:09,114
Yeah. Two, never mind.
73
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,634
Well, Frankie's upset.
74
00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:11,774
Did she break up with someone?
75
00:04:11,775 --> 00:04:12,684
Which gender?
76
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,306
I don't care, but everybody else does.
77
00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:15,746
She's upset about paintball.
78
00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:16,757
Paint?
79
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:18,915
Ball?
80
00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:22,107
Occasionally our campus erupts into
a flawless, post modern, homage to
81
00:04:22,108 --> 00:04:25,914
action adventure mythology,
mischaracterized by the ignorant as parody.
82
00:04:25,915 --> 00:04:29,944
Apparently, now that Frankie's declared
it illegal, it's gone underground,
83
00:04:29,945 --> 00:04:31,679
and is still happening as we speak.
84
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,044
Well maybe for freshman, but
85
00:04:33,045 --> 00:04:35,294
honestly we've kind of
done it to death, right?
86
00:04:35,295 --> 00:04:36,014
Done it?
87
00:04:36,015 --> 00:04:37,399
Nailed it? I've won a few time now.
88
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,234
No, who keeps track of that?
89
00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:41,766
Lame! I'm thinking mostly about Frankie.
90
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:45,471
She's our friend, and she cares about
this school, and I think it would
91
00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:48,650
break her heart if she caught any
of us undermining her goals.
92
00:04:48,651 --> 00:04:49,312
Yeah. Yeah.
93
00:04:49,313 --> 00:04:50,909
I agree. A reasonable agreement.
94
00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:52,441
You're both right.
95
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,282
Well, meeting adjourned, I guess. Hm-hm.
96
00:04:53,283 --> 00:04:53,921
This is good.
97
00:04:53,922 --> 00:04:55,819
I'm glad we all agree not to do this.
98
00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:58,873
Is gonna make it a lot
easier for me to beat you.
99
00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:03,900
What the hell?
100
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:06,275
They killed meeeeeee!
101
00:05:06,276 --> 00:05:07,192
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
102
00:05:07,193 --> 00:05:08,318
Don't do anything stupid.
103
00:05:08,319 --> 00:05:09,525
Do something stupid.
104
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:10,317
I thought we weren't playing.
105
00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,109
Is this an alliance?
106
00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:11,692
I don't know, is it?
107
00:05:11,693 --> 00:05:13,604
Who's people? Cut the crap, Elroy.
108
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,805
Stop that, what are you doing?
109
00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,109
Aah! Go back to class.
110
00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:19,025
Winger's playing paintball.
111
00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:20,609
No, he's not.
112
00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:21,650
Don't think about it, don't think about it.
113
00:05:21,651 --> 00:05:22,860
Don't do it.
114
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:37,025
Grow up.
115
00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:37,900
What are you doing?
116
00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:39,234
I'm not playing.
117
00:05:39,235 --> 00:05:41,924
For a guy who's not playing, you sure
are shooting a bunch of mothers.
118
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:42,714
That was instinct.
119
00:05:42,715 --> 00:05:44,294
I can't help being a bad ass.
120
00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:46,294
But I am not playing.
121
00:05:46,295 --> 00:05:48,274
Okay, so let's make this painless.
122
00:05:48,275 --> 00:05:49,174
Take it easy. Leave her alone.
123
00:05:49,175 --> 00:05:49,844
Stop it.
124
00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,094
Knock it off.
125
00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,254
Frankie is coming.
126
00:05:52,255 --> 00:05:53,860
What is important to you people?
127
00:05:56,485 --> 00:06:01,109
Jeff Winger shot me.
128
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,567
Do I use echo location to navigate?
129
00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:05,442
Why would you ask that after
learning you aren't a bat?
130
00:06:05,443 --> 00:06:06,484
Hello.
131
00:06:06,485 --> 00:06:07,900
Hi, Frankie.
132
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:08,442
Frankie.
133
00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:13,193
Yes, Jeff, student just passed by me
and said you shot him with paint.
134
00:06:14,443 --> 00:06:16,317
Okay.
135
00:06:16,318 --> 00:06:18,942
So, you are definitely
not playing paint ball?
136
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,567
No.
137
00:06:20,568 --> 00:06:22,936
Frankie, I've been cool up until
now, but I gotta tell you,
138
00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,734
I'm starting to get offended
by your suspicion about this.
139
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,914
Well. Well is a hole in the
ground when you're thirsty.
140
00:06:27,915 --> 00:06:30,484
Oh. I'm telling you, I ain't
playing no paintball.
141
00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:32,692
Boo hee haw, boo hew haw, bam.
142
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:36,192
Okay, take it easy guys.
143
00:06:36,193 --> 00:06:39,264
And for what it's worth, thank
you for teaching me the cool,
144
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,352
new way to respond to people
saying the word well.
145
00:06:42,353 --> 00:06:43,734
All right guys.
146
00:06:43,735 --> 00:06:46,360
Bye Franks take it easy.
147
00:06:49,485 --> 00:06:51,067
Would you stop doing that?
148
00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:52,067
Don't hate the player.
149
00:06:52,068 --> 00:06:54,067
Colloquialisms aside, Annie's right.
150
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:57,193
The thing to hate this year is the game.
151
00:06:57,194 --> 00:07:00,359
Can I show you all something?
152
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,064
You know this game is being run
anonymously through an online server, but
153
00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:03,596
who set it up?
154
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:06,116
They haven't left a clue which is a
really big clue because if they're this
155
00:07:06,117 --> 00:07:06,765
good at anything.
156
00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:07,787
Why are they here?
157
00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:11,944
Whoever's running this server is offering
a huge cash prize to the winner.
158
00:07:11,945 --> 00:07:13,614
More evidence they don't go here.
159
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:15,609
And they seem to have their
own man in the game.
160
00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:19,234
You've probably heard about a mysterious
player using silver paint balls.
161
00:07:19,235 --> 00:07:21,067
Well, look at these IP addresses.
162
00:07:21,068 --> 00:07:24,484
If that means what I think it means,
we're dealing with gibberish.
163
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,040
Those are mine.
164
00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:26,584
That's a student or
165
00:07:26,585 --> 00:07:29,784
teacher on this campus opening an
encrypted tunnel to an off campus site.
166
00:07:29,785 --> 00:07:30,285
Big deal.
167
00:07:30,286 --> 00:07:31,174
I do that all the time.
168
00:07:31,175 --> 00:07:32,884
Oh, I save it all up for Saturday night.
169
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,184
You're right, it's no big deal.
170
00:07:34,185 --> 00:07:36,624
Unless you always do it immediately
before a paintball player is taken out
171
00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:39,854
with premium grade silver
paintballs by an unknown shooter.
172
00:07:39,855 --> 00:07:44,334
And unless the IP that you're
connecting to is this one.
173
00:07:44,335 --> 00:07:45,464
Aah, of course.
174
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,234
So who's the Silver paintballs guy?
175
00:07:47,235 --> 00:07:50,919
Spy, assassin, mercenary, bad
person walking among us laughing,
176
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:51,984
laughing quietly.
177
00:07:51,985 --> 00:07:54,067
And then if we look pretending that
he was looking at something funny.
178
00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:58,317
I suppose you all should be in trouble.
179
00:07:58,318 --> 00:08:03,236
But desperate deans hm, but
180
00:08:03,237 --> 00:08:07,986
desperates, but des, but
181
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:14,609
desperate deans call for
Deansperate measures.
182
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:19,942
From here on out, you work for me.
183
00:08:19,943 --> 00:08:22,126
Everything you're saying
just proves my point,
184
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,764
that the only way to lose
this game is to play it.
185
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:27,014
And I say we do the honest
thing, and tell Frankie.
186
00:08:27,015 --> 00:08:29,564
The school's playing and losing
already, Frankie included.
187
00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,194
If the people in this room play to win,
188
00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:32,854
we can not only take City College's money.
189
00:08:32,855 --> 00:08:36,354
We can expose Silverballs, and, in turn,
City College, and save Greendale.
190
00:08:36,355 --> 00:08:38,274
Which is basically saving Frankie.
191
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:41,794
All right, so we lay low, and we try
to find out who Silverballs is.
192
00:08:41,795 --> 00:08:44,394
But we're not, to be clear,
we did not vote on that name.
193
00:08:44,395 --> 00:08:45,995
Here's a name you don't have to vote on.
194
00:08:46,945 --> 00:08:50,504
You just became the Secret
Dean Force, The Dean Boys,
195
00:08:50,505 --> 00:08:52,974
Task Force Dean, His Dean, Secret People.
196
00:08:52,975 --> 00:08:54,722
I know the word Dean is in it.
197
00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:57,484
Because when the politicians fail,
and the peace talks fall apart.
198
00:08:57,485 --> 00:09:00,404
When it seems like all is lost, and
199
00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:05,859
nobody really needs the Dean
anymore because Frankie's here.
200
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,025
That's when you go in.
201
00:09:07,026 --> 00:09:11,901
The last bastion of a bygone
era when people respected me.
202
00:09:14,861 --> 00:09:22,861
Dean Force One.
203
00:09:23,151 --> 00:09:24,942
If you're gonna hang around,
we could use some water.
204
00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:27,193
On it.
205
00:09:30,191 --> 00:09:33,274
Club Club, the last club
I thought I'd ever join.
206
00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:35,732
Your target is a small time
paintball munitions dealer.
207
00:09:35,733 --> 00:09:40,940
All we know is he's a white male over
30 and his street name is Fun Dad.
208
00:09:40,941 --> 00:09:44,190
All right is everybody in this
club ready to party the way they
209
00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:45,191
do in clubs?
210
00:09:48,358 --> 00:09:51,138
Connor stop horsing around
with Billy and party.
211
00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:53,099
DJ might be the guy from MeowMeowBeenz.
212
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,622
We need clean intelligence, Abed.
213
00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:55,830
No references, call backs.
214
00:09:55,831 --> 00:09:58,488
Excuse me good sir, if
I could have the mic.
215
00:09:58,489 --> 00:10:03,733
Attention shoppers there's a sale
on partying in my pants aisle.
216
00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,791
Everything in my pants must go.
217
00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:09,224
Well not everything, that
doesn't, you know what I.
218
00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:10,225
Koogler?
219
00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:13,594
Aladdin. I thought your name was Fun Dad.
220
00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:14,154
No.
221
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,674
That was easy.
222
00:10:15,675 --> 00:10:16,444
I need ammunition.
223
00:10:16,445 --> 00:10:18,464
Are you a narc? Why would
I answer that honestly?
224
00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:19,244
Good point.
225
00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:20,535
It's how most people answer, so.
226
00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:22,544
Yeah, come on, it's a bad question.
227
00:10:22,545 --> 00:10:23,654
You just get so many narcs.
228
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:24,404
Hey don't forget.
229
00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:27,964
There's a sign up sheet on the
back wall for Club Club Club.
230
00:10:27,965 --> 00:10:30,754
Listen, I'm so glad Omar that
you're interested in paintball.
231
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,784
Now I have to tell you,
no shooting in here.
232
00:10:32,785 --> 00:10:35,584
The first rule of Club Club is
that we are not a fight club.
233
00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:40,354
The second rule is that if you're a hot
lady, you have to have sex with me.
234
00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:41,604
And then there's a bunch of rules and
235
00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:44,924
restriction that they've just now been
adding because of the lawsuits based
236
00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:48,174
on that, second rule, which, I'm
not allowed to call a rule.
237
00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:48,954
That was my screw up.
238
00:10:48,955 --> 00:10:50,376
Let me show you what I've got here.
239
00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:53,034
All right, these are blue travelers.
240
00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:57,394
I think I've got some sarcastic
mellow yellows in here.
241
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,064
Those are great.
242
00:10:58,065 --> 00:10:59,994
And these are green meanies.
243
00:10:59,995 --> 00:11:03,584
They explode on contact, and they
mark your target with paint.
244
00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,264
That's a description of every paint ball.
245
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,784
Okay, so you know your stuff.
246
00:11:06,785 --> 00:11:08,004
Why don't I give you a pro discount?
247
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:11,614
I'm thinking something more
exotic, something in silver?
248
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,232
Yeah, okay, great.
249
00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,753
I think that's a great idea, you know?
250
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:25,954
You want to stay in the game?
251
00:11:25,955 --> 00:11:26,955
Talk.
252
00:11:27,735 --> 00:11:29,264
Okay, look.
253
00:11:29,265 --> 00:11:30,784
If you're a narc, you can't play.
254
00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:36,186
And if you're playing, I
do accept sex for ammo.
255
00:11:36,187 --> 00:11:37,974
Or beer, right?
256
00:11:37,975 --> 00:11:38,904
But not Bitcoin.
257
00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:39,904
I mean, I believe in it.
258
00:11:39,905 --> 00:11:43,234
I just, I think I feel like
I need it to stabilize.
259
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,914
Who is Silver Man?
260
00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:47,089
My accountant?
261
00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:47,804
Oh, how do you know David?
262
00:11:47,805 --> 00:11:48,874
You know what I mean.
263
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,094
Who buys the silver ammo?
264
00:11:50,095 --> 00:11:54,056
Oh, look, if I tell you
that, I'm pretendsies dead.
265
00:12:05,131 --> 00:12:07,713
Koogler? We got him.
266
00:12:07,714 --> 00:12:09,686
That's good.
267
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,847
Then he wont be needing this.
268
00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:17,039
Koogler's thumb drive is actually
a hardware encryption key.
269
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,814
Hm, can it be unencrypted?
270
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,994
No, you use it to decrypt
something encrypted.
271
00:12:21,995 --> 00:12:23,914
A key with a lock on it.
272
00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:25,354
I'll give our enemy this.
273
00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:26,355
They're clever.
274
00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:28,445
Why did they pair us together?
275
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,704
Look, a message chain between
Koogler and Silverballs.
276
00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:34,914
Now he's ordering a huge batch of ammo, and
277
00:12:34,915 --> 00:12:37,854
stressing that he needs it before
the Cleaner Greendale Gala.
278
00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:40,344
City College is-Whoa!
279
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:43,594
Oh! City College is going
to crash Frankie's Gala.
280
00:12:43,595 --> 00:12:47,254
And here's where Silverballs
decides on silver balls.
281
00:12:47,255 --> 00:12:51,774
Which color will look coolest
against a navy blue jumpsuit?
282
00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:53,804
Who wears a jumpsuit to a black tie gala?
283
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:56,465
The guest of honor.
284
00:12:58,555 --> 00:13:00,034
Is your Internet not working?
285
00:13:00,035 --> 00:13:00,904
It's one photo.
286
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,885
It's taking an hour.
287
00:13:01,886 --> 00:13:06,365
You have keystrokes programmed
to, eesh, that's dorky.
288
00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:09,035
Looks like we'll be renting formal wear.
289
00:13:09,036 --> 00:13:10,628
I'll measure Jeffrey.
290
00:13:15,758 --> 00:13:18,504
Mister Winger, you clean up nice.
291
00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:19,985
Oh, come on. I'm always good looking.
292
00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:22,994
This seems ambitious.
293
00:13:22,995 --> 00:13:27,734
Well, the monorail is more symbolic of
our potential than it is potential,
294
00:13:27,735 --> 00:13:29,914
and none of our buildings will
ever be shaped like this.
295
00:13:29,915 --> 00:13:32,484
But with a little work,
this is how we could feel.
296
00:13:32,485 --> 00:13:34,472
You should be proud.
297
00:13:34,473 --> 00:13:38,465
Thank you, Jeff, for supporting this.
298
00:13:40,055 --> 00:13:41,055
Why is that in your ear?
299
00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:44,923
Oh, I'm raising awareness of
Armenian American stereotypes.
300
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,044
Bale to belfry.
301
00:13:46,045 --> 00:13:47,394
Let's check in.
302
00:13:47,395 --> 00:13:52,454
Should stereotypes have
their awareness raised, I?
303
00:13:52,455 --> 00:13:53,304
Oh, good lord.
304
00:13:53,305 --> 00:13:54,434
I'm questioning you again.
305
00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:55,084
Why?
306
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,344
Follow your bliss, sir.
307
00:13:57,345 --> 00:13:58,345
You've earned it.
308
00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:02,334
Keaton to belfry, I need to
just all make sure we are very,
309
00:14:02,335 --> 00:14:03,294
very careful here.
310
00:14:03,295 --> 00:14:03,854
Bale to Keaton,
311
00:14:03,855 --> 00:14:06,575
why don't you set a good example by
keeping your mind on the mission?
312
00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:08,525
And your eyes on the prize.
313
00:14:10,735 --> 00:14:11,414
Prize is secure.
314
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:12,415
Keaton out.
315
00:14:13,505 --> 00:14:14,364
West to belfry.
316
00:14:14,365 --> 00:14:15,964
Entrances secure.
317
00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,774
Keaton to Kilmer, status.
318
00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:20,334
Kilmer to Belfry, I'm
currently examining a spoon,
319
00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:22,254
only I'm not really examining it.
320
00:14:22,255 --> 00:14:26,524
I'm using it was cover while watching
a somewhat suspicious waiter.
321
00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:28,014
Voice of Diedrich Bader to belfry.
322
00:14:28,015 --> 00:14:30,104
I've checked the custodial
wing for the third time.
323
00:14:30,105 --> 00:14:31,944
Can I come join the mission now?
324
00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:33,214
Negative voice of Diedrich Bader.
325
00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:34,824
Continue to check the custodial wing,
326
00:14:34,825 --> 00:14:37,994
and then check the parameter
of the inside of your office.
327
00:14:37,995 --> 00:14:38,995
Okay.
328
00:14:41,245 --> 00:14:43,254
And for the record, I feel
very vulnerable without a gun.
329
00:14:43,255 --> 00:14:47,344
Ugh, I know that someone
plays in this thing.
330
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,310
Hey there, Dean.
331
00:14:50,311 --> 00:14:51,599
We need a custodian.
332
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,216
Dean.
333
00:14:54,217 --> 00:14:55,151
Dean.
334
00:14:55,152 --> 00:14:56,463
Dean.
335
00:14:56,464 --> 00:14:57,464
Dean.
336
00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:12,585
Clooney to belfry I've
got a bogey with a gun.
337
00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:13,641
Excuse me.
338
00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:16,491
I wasn't talking to you,
I was ordering dinner.
339
00:15:16,492 --> 00:15:23,988
Yes hello can I get a bogey with a gun
no pickles and three orders of gun.
340
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,217
Damn it.
341
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,719
Clooney slooped the bogey, now
he's headed for the kitchen.
342
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,370
Should we go?
343
00:15:32,371 --> 00:15:34,044
Negative, we don't know it's our man.
344
00:15:34,045 --> 00:15:38,166
Kilmer, Clooney do nothing unless
you can do it quietly and calmly.
345
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:40,598
Whoa, what the hell?
346
00:15:40,599 --> 00:15:41,195
No. Nothing.
347
00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:42,431
Are you ready?
348
00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:44,601
Yes.
349
00:15:44,602 --> 00:15:47,203
Clooney to Kilmer.
350
00:15:47,204 --> 00:15:48,714
What? Should I come in now?
351
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:52,626
No, no you can't ever come
in ever, you're sloppy.
352
00:15:52,627 --> 00:15:55,062
Excuse me can I have a word with you?
353
00:15:55,063 --> 00:15:56,108
About what?
354
00:15:59,218 --> 00:16:03,584
Well, there's been some reports
about a paintball game on campus.
355
00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:06,295
Oh yeah, you better believe the
kitchen boys are playing and
356
00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,117
this year we got a new winning strategy.
357
00:16:08,118 --> 00:16:10,798
Let the idiots come to you.
358
00:16:10,799 --> 00:16:17,568
Oh really, oh Britta you can come in now.
359
00:16:18,921 --> 00:16:20,006
Oh!
360
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:26,380
Boom boom!
361
00:16:29,396 --> 00:16:30,396
Oh!
362
00:16:38,352 --> 00:16:39,738
Oh!
363
00:16:39,739 --> 00:16:42,549
Oh! Oh!
364
00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:43,550
I'm sorry!
365
00:16:46,408 --> 00:16:47,924
Agh.
366
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:55,190
Oh! Agh!
367
00:16:55,191 --> 00:16:59,911
I stand before you one of Greendale's
biggest perpetrators of paint related
368
00:16:59,912 --> 00:17:04,282
mayhem and I am happy to say that those
days are fully behind our school.
369
00:17:04,283 --> 00:17:08,338
Looking back on those dark days,
it's clear that the only heroes were
370
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:11,868
the janitors and the custodians
left to clean up our messes.
371
00:17:13,928 --> 00:17:16,680
Oh!
372
00:17:16,681 --> 00:17:17,278
Ow!
373
00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:19,489
Oh, ow!
374
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:20,806
Ow!
375
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:21,411
Oh.
376
00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:23,048
Oh.
377
00:17:31,069 --> 00:17:35,104
So it is with great shame and
poetic irony that I present
378
00:17:35,105 --> 00:17:39,682
the custodial innovation award
to Vice Custodian, Lapari.
379
00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:44,511
What the hell are you doing in there?
380
00:17:44,512 --> 00:17:45,416
Jeff, focus.
381
00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:46,200
You all right, man?
382
00:17:46,201 --> 00:17:47,802
Yes. It wasn't our guy.
383
00:17:47,803 --> 00:17:49,880
The assassin is not in the kitchen.
384
00:17:49,881 --> 00:17:50,664
He's still at large.
385
00:17:50,665 --> 00:17:56,202
And now let's all enact what I hope
will become a yearly tradition,
386
00:17:56,203 --> 00:17:58,639
the popping of the balloons.
387
00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,283
What?
388
00:17:59,284 --> 00:18:07,242
And Stay calm, check your zones.
389
00:18:08,703 --> 00:18:12,214
Who's that?
390
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:12,854
Where?
391
00:18:12,855 --> 00:18:13,632
Where?
392
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:14,950
I don't see anything.
393
00:18:14,951 --> 00:18:15,951
Him.
394
00:18:20,116 --> 00:18:21,116
Oh!
395
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,162
Sorry.
396
00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:55,274
It's the custodians.
397
00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:59,294
Greendale's custodial staff is running
the underground paintball tournament
398
00:18:59,295 --> 00:19:01,844
probably with City College money.
399
00:19:01,845 --> 00:19:04,954
The people that clean Greendale
don't want a cleaner Greendale,
400
00:19:04,955 --> 00:19:08,765
they want Greendale to be afraid
of itself and reliant on them.
401
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:12,744
Oh, what an exciting story.
402
00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:15,084
We're got a real life M
Night Shamalyan here.
403
00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,084
It's Shyamalan.
404
00:19:16,085 --> 00:19:22,184
Unfortunately, as with his stories I
don't anticipate yours holding up.
405
00:19:22,185 --> 00:19:23,034
Easy target.
406
00:19:23,035 --> 00:19:24,834
Who's heckling me?
407
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:26,644
Oh, of course, it's the Indian guy.
408
00:19:26,645 --> 00:19:27,244
I'm Arabic.
409
00:19:27,245 --> 00:19:30,375
Ow, okay, let's go with that.
410
00:19:31,675 --> 00:19:34,884
Anyway, you know what goes
great with crazy stories?
411
00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:36,774
Evidence. You're the evidence.
412
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:40,924
Come back to our side and tell the
truth, so City College can be exposed.
413
00:19:40,925 --> 00:19:43,564
Or I could leave and get
a job at City College,
414
00:19:43,565 --> 00:19:47,344
where their pay phones aren't only
herpe-free, they're actually removed.
415
00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:49,294
You think City College will
take you if you lose their
416
00:19:49,295 --> 00:19:50,235
paintball prize money?
417
00:19:50,236 --> 00:19:53,558
I don't know how many men you
have left in your game, but
418
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,048
if you're leaving this room,
it needs to be a small army.
419
00:19:57,049 --> 00:19:58,040
Oh!
420
00:19:58,041 --> 00:19:59,041
Mm.
421
00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,799
Okay. I agree.
422
00:20:09,735 --> 00:20:16,280
Annie look
423
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:19,920
out.
424
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:23,855
Oh.
425
00:20:27,635 --> 00:20:28,668
An eye for an eye.
426
00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:35,029
Oh.
427
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,447
Aah!
428
00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:40,091
Oh!
429
00:20:40,092 --> 00:20:42,425
No!
430
00:20:42,426 --> 00:20:47,731
No!
431
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:52,859
Aah!
432
00:20:53,909 --> 00:20:55,186
Ow!
433
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:59,603
We're the last ones left?
434
00:20:59,604 --> 00:21:00,484
Cover me.
435
00:21:00,485 --> 00:21:02,245
Oh, dreams do come true!
436
00:21:09,036 --> 00:21:09,953
Okay, we got him.
437
00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:11,044
He went into a supply closet.
438
00:21:11,045 --> 00:21:11,619
I know.
439
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:14,162
I guess to a custodian, a supply
closet is like a location.
440
00:21:21,167 --> 00:21:23,525
I'm actually relieved. I thought
this was gonna be a whole gauntlet.
441
00:21:23,526 --> 00:21:24,974
My heart was not in it.
442
00:21:24,975 --> 00:21:26,644
I mean, I shot a disabled kid.
443
00:21:26,645 --> 00:21:27,594
I can't do this anymore.
444
00:21:27,595 --> 00:21:29,053
What are you looking at?
445
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:30,442
This isn't a closet.
446
00:21:44,683 --> 00:21:46,738
Oh, it's really nice of you guys to visit,
447
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,193
not that you ever would
have done it intentionally.
448
00:21:51,968 --> 00:21:53,442
Your steamy pipes can't stop us.
449
00:21:53,443 --> 00:21:57,265
Well, it would be a pretty bad
museum exhibit if it could.
450
00:21:58,705 --> 00:22:00,014
Give it up, Lapari.
451
00:22:00,015 --> 00:22:01,914
Hey Dean, I have a microphone.
452
00:22:01,915 --> 00:22:02,994
You have a beer.
453
00:22:02,995 --> 00:22:03,995
God has a plan.
454
00:22:06,207 --> 00:22:07,036
I have a beer?
455
00:22:07,037 --> 00:22:09,124
It's an old stand up line
for using up hecklers.
456
00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:10,125
Keep moving.
457
00:22:10,945 --> 00:22:11,945
Did you do stand up?
458
00:22:13,345 --> 00:22:14,745
Is that how you became a custodian?
459
00:22:15,975 --> 00:22:18,954
Listen man, I was there in the 90s.
460
00:22:18,955 --> 00:22:21,284
I did a few open mic nights.
461
00:22:21,285 --> 00:22:23,384
I saw what karaoke did.
462
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:26,284
It wasn't cool man.
463
00:22:26,285 --> 00:22:29,401
We're not so different, you and I, Dean.
464
00:22:29,402 --> 00:22:32,153
Don't you see we're both
in the same situation?
465
00:22:32,154 --> 00:22:35,283
Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
466
00:22:38,609 --> 00:22:39,449
Screw it. Shoot them all.
467
00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:40,350
One of them is him.
468
00:22:40,351 --> 00:22:41,351
Shoot every single one.
469
00:22:49,528 --> 00:22:50,107
He's not back here.
470
00:22:50,108 --> 00:22:51,054
Okay.
471
00:22:51,055 --> 00:22:51,721
Reload.
472
00:22:51,722 --> 00:22:55,355
Must be a mock jousting
bridge over sawdust canyon.
473
00:22:56,655 --> 00:22:59,134
We're both dinosaurs roaring
in vain at the mammals.
474
00:22:59,135 --> 00:23:02,434
What do you think was gonna
happen when you let Frankie Dart
475
00:23:02,435 --> 00:23:04,284
into our world?
476
00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:07,964
How much more clean can she make
the school before she notices
477
00:23:07,965 --> 00:23:09,365
the dirtiest thing of all about it.
478
00:23:11,025 --> 00:23:13,294
You think I'm a villain, but I'm not.
479
00:23:13,295 --> 00:23:17,624
I'm defending a place where we
all get to be our own heroes.
480
00:23:17,625 --> 00:23:21,645
We're all here because none
of us can have nice things.
481
00:23:21,646 --> 00:23:24,161
I thought you guys were mannequins!
482
00:23:24,162 --> 00:23:25,960
What a backfire!
483
00:23:25,961 --> 00:23:27,435
Is the money real?
484
00:23:28,665 --> 00:23:29,665
No mater who wins?
485
00:23:30,955 --> 00:23:31,955
Dean, what are you doing?
486
00:23:33,615 --> 00:23:35,194
What are you thinking about?
487
00:23:35,195 --> 00:23:36,194
I don't know, I don't know.
488
00:23:36,195 --> 00:23:37,894
He's right, Jeffrey.
489
00:23:37,895 --> 00:23:41,614
A cleaner Greendale is like
a healthier cigarette.
490
00:23:41,615 --> 00:23:42,544
Yes, a carrot stick.
491
00:23:42,545 --> 00:23:44,154
Frankie can make us a carrot stick.
492
00:23:44,155 --> 00:23:45,344
We're tobacco.
493
00:23:45,345 --> 00:23:46,814
No, we are not tobacco.
494
00:23:46,815 --> 00:23:48,284
We are Robert Downey Jr,
495
00:23:48,285 --> 00:23:50,834
he was so high he was crawling
into people's windows.
496
00:23:50,835 --> 00:23:51,842
Now he's Iron Man.
497
00:23:51,843 --> 00:23:55,604
We self destruct like this because we'd
rather be heroes than villains than
498
00:23:55,605 --> 00:23:59,744
just kind of sucky people, that need
to work a lot at getting less sucky.
499
00:23:59,745 --> 00:24:01,304
She will forgive us.
500
00:24:01,305 --> 00:24:05,364
I know her, I like her, and if she
fires either of you, I'll quit.
501
00:24:05,365 --> 00:24:08,544
She's not the enemy, she can help us.
502
00:24:08,545 --> 00:24:09,545
We just have to cool it.
503
00:24:12,354 --> 00:24:14,756
It's true, what he said.
504
00:24:14,757 --> 00:24:19,337
If you guys lower your guns, I'm
not gonna throw you a party, but
505
00:24:19,338 --> 00:24:22,354
I'm not going to get anyone fired either.
506
00:24:30,530 --> 00:24:32,992
I'll see you Monday, idiots.
507
00:24:34,816 --> 00:24:38,830
So who wins?
508
00:24:38,831 --> 00:24:39,619
What do we-. Okay,
509
00:24:39,620 --> 00:24:42,489
on the count of three we're gonna
shoot ourselves in the foot.
510
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:54,155
One, two.
511
00:24:54,156 --> 00:24:55,156
Ow.
512
00:25:04,780 --> 00:25:09,816
I'll see you guys on Monday.
513
00:25:09,817 --> 00:25:14,935
And the Pope looks at the giraffe
and says I'm in the room.
514
00:25:14,936 --> 00:25:16,444
Sorry I can't remember the whole joke.
515
00:25:16,445 --> 00:25:19,644
That's okay it sounds very
funny based on the last line.
516
00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:21,524
Frankie's gonna be here
soon we should get ready.
517
00:25:21,525 --> 00:25:23,994
We're not seriously still
doing this are we?
518
00:25:23,995 --> 00:25:27,065
We promised everyday for a
week do we want her to quit?
519
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:31,974
Good morning everyone.
520
00:25:31,975 --> 00:25:32,975
Wah.
521
00:25:34,985 --> 00:25:37,234
So, where did we leave off last time?
522
00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:38,235
Hm. Yes, sir.
523
00:25:39,785 --> 00:25:41,204
I like big trucks.
524
00:25:41,205 --> 00:25:42,734
I saw a fire truck today.
525
00:25:42,735 --> 00:25:43,424
Interesting point.
526
00:25:43,425 --> 00:25:44,564
Would anyone care to comment?
527
00:25:44,565 --> 00:25:45,364
Elroy?
528
00:25:45,365 --> 00:25:46,794
I made a stinky.
529
00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:47,864
Worth considering.
530
00:25:47,865 --> 00:25:48,674
Next item?
531
00:25:48,675 --> 00:25:50,124
How do you pronounce pasketti?
532
00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:50,774
Spaghetti.
533
00:25:50,775 --> 00:25:51,534
What else?
534
00:25:51,535 --> 00:25:52,494
Can we go to the zoo?
535
00:25:52,495 --> 00:25:54,424
Well, that raises a very important point.
536
00:25:54,425 --> 00:25:59,164
We can do anything we want if, and
this is very important, if we grow up.
537
00:25:59,165 --> 00:26:00,184
All in favor?
538
00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:01,185
Wah.
539
00:26:04,191 --> 00:26:06,300
Then she starts singing about
all the places she's been.
540
00:26:06,301 --> 00:26:08,380
Which, by the way, seems
to be a total of two.
541
00:26:08,381 --> 00:26:11,308
One of which is old DC.
542
00:26:11,309 --> 00:26:13,133
Old DC.
543
00:26:13,134 --> 00:26:18,382
Okay fine, Vicki, you're a music
major, not a history major.
544
00:26:18,383 --> 00:26:21,270
And the whole mother thing, I mean the
two big feathers in her cap are that
545
00:26:21,271 --> 00:26:25,400
she hasn't let anything change her, a
triumph she shared with most animals,
546
00:26:25,401 --> 00:26:29,320
and all dirt, and the fact
that her mother died,
547
00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:33,420
which is like one thing all mother's do.
548
00:26:33,421 --> 00:26:34,193
I mean, was she a good mother?
549
00:26:34,194 --> 00:26:35,285
Did she collect stamps?
550
00:26:35,286 --> 00:26:36,213
Did she race cars?
551
00:26:36,214 --> 00:26:37,292
We don't know!
552
00:26:37,293 --> 00:26:41,151
We don't know her name, I think if you
ask Vicki the color of her mother's
553
00:26:41,152 --> 00:26:42,595
eyes, she would say dead.
554
00:26:42,596 --> 00:26:46,770
Or, maybe she would say $7 a seat.
555
00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,270
It's bad man, I am telling you.
556
00:26:48,271 --> 00:26:51,011
Nobody is safe, nobody is safe.
557
00:26:52,221 --> 00:26:53,221
Blue.
558
00:27:01,345 --> 00:27:03,381
They were a very pale shade of blue.
559
00:27:06,116 --> 00:27:08,700
I'm sorry my show didn't
honor her memory properly.
560
00:27:08,701 --> 00:27:10,831
I'll try to make it up to you.
561
00:27:13,013 --> 00:27:18,522
Actually we both will a, a, at
the premier of our new show.
562
00:27:18,523 --> 00:27:24,552
Vicki and Garrett.
563
00:27:24,553 --> 00:27:26,160
Let's have a hand for
Vicki's mother everybody.
564
00:27:26,161 --> 00:27:26,781
Stand up Connie.
565
00:27:26,782 --> 00:27:29,765
Vicki's mother, Vicki's mother!
566
00:27:29,766 --> 00:27:30,766
Boo!
567
00:27:32,831 --> 00:27:34,450
We'd rather you boo.
568
00:27:34,451 --> 00:27:36,330
It means you felt something.
569
00:27:36,331 --> 00:27:36,990
That's right.
570
00:27:36,991 --> 00:27:37,840
You can boo.
571
00:27:37,841 --> 00:27:39,705
And, Andy Kaufman loved booing.
572
00:27:39,706 --> 00:27:42,820
Mm-hm.
573
00:27:42,821 --> 00:27:46,146
Then again, we did put a fair
share of work into this.
574
00:27:46,147 --> 00:27:47,482
Like, you don't have to be dicks.
575
00:28:22,576 --> 00:28:23,576
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