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1
00:00:12,604 --> 00:00:14,129
Three weeks earlier.
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Huh?
3
00:00:15,793 --> 00:00:19,333
You know how sometimes a movie
or a show begins on a random,
4
00:00:19,334 --> 00:00:22,398
intriguing scene with no context
given encouraging you to wonder whoa,
5
00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:23,953
how'd this crazy scenario come to be?
6
00:00:23,954 --> 00:00:25,873
And then it cuts to black
and a title comes up and
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says three weeks earlier.
8
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Huh. Here we are.
9
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Sitting in silence, crammed into an RV.
10
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Winding through the mountain roads
of Colorado with a 19 foot fiberglass
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hand tied to the roof.
12
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If there was ever a time to cut to
three weeks earlier it'd be right now.
13
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Know what I mean?
14
00:00:53,045 --> 00:00:54,318
Elroy you got any booze?
15
00:00:56,254 --> 00:00:57,983
Don't go through my stuff!
16
00:00:57,984 --> 00:01:00,024
This isn't a bus. You're standing in
my living room, kitchen, and bedroom.
17
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Ooh I never thought about that.
18
00:01:01,696 --> 00:01:05,743
And your backyard is 24,900 miles long,
19
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because it's the
circumference of the Earth.
20
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,813
Because you have no home.
21
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Did anyone need water?
22
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What else can we talk about?
23
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I guess to make it really intriguing,
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one of us should be visibly injured
in a way that makes you wonder how it
25
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happened Like if Britta had a black eye.
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Dean, can I speak to you privately?
27
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I'm pretty sure the answer is no.
28
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Coming up.
29
00:01:33,729 --> 00:01:37,064
You know, when I agreed to hold
this thing for you and the school,
30
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you didn't say anything about
six people sitting back there.
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Man, I wonder what they're talking about.
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God!
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Who knows?
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They're sealed off behind
this soundproof vinyl.
35
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I will drive my house off a cliff.
36
00:01:49,254 --> 00:01:51,933
Elroy, we're not here
to snoop or judge you.
37
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You're not the first person to
have dirty dishes, CD rom porn and
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framed photos of yourself with
two biracial teenagers in a park.
39
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,294
It's not that.
40
00:02:02,864 --> 00:02:04,228
All of this weight.
41
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I may have miscalculated the mileage.
42
00:02:11,804 --> 00:02:13,573
Darn it, I wanna hijack this RV, but
43
00:02:13,574 --> 00:02:17,523
I'm foiled by its impenetrable
post-2001 security measures.
44
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You keep driving and nobody else
needs to know about this, understand?
45
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The last thing we need is a panic.
46
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What's going on?
47
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Are we out of gas?
48
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Yes!
49
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It's on empty!
50
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It's on empty!
51
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Like, the needle is invisible.
52
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Oh, my God!
53
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There's no needle.
54
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It's gone. It's underneath the plastic or
55
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maybe the engine tried
to use it as the fuel.
56
00:02:38,424 --> 00:02:39,294
Oh, stop yelling.
57
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Well, stop being out of gas.
58
00:02:40,604 --> 00:02:41,574
You're freaking me out.
59
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You should be freaking out.
60
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I have been driving for 25 years,
61
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and I have never seen
so little gas in my life.
62
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Aah! Stop, stop, I'm yelling
even louder so you have to stop.
63
00:02:53,914 --> 00:02:56,993
We're not in control of the gas, okay?
64
00:02:56,994 --> 00:02:59,562
We have to focus on what we can control.
65
00:02:59,563 --> 00:03:00,854
Is everyone's phone charged?
66
00:03:00,855 --> 00:03:02,323
Yes. Charge your phones.
67
00:03:02,324 --> 00:03:02,951
Good idea.
68
00:03:02,952 --> 00:03:04,366
Okay.
69
00:03:04,367 --> 00:03:06,723
Okay.
70
00:03:06,724 --> 00:03:07,564
See?
71
00:03:07,565 --> 00:03:10,103
We turned panic into preparedness.
72
00:03:10,104 --> 00:03:14,863
Now if we do run out of gas, guess
who's got fully charged phones?
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Well charged.
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Full battery.
75
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For the love of God,
stop charging your phones!
76
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Aah!
77
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Excuse me a moment.
78
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What happened?
79
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I'm not telling you!
80
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Fair enough.
81
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We're all gonna die!
82
00:04:12,354 --> 00:04:14,353
All in favor?
83
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,520
And that solves the
matter of the giant hand.
84
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If there's no other business.
85
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Yes.
86
00:04:18,355 --> 00:04:20,343
I'd like to move that we establish
this moment as the opening
87
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for a flashback.
88
00:04:20,937 --> 00:04:21,520
No.
89
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:22,520
Meeting adjourned.
90
00:04:31,645 --> 00:04:33,853
Oh, I guess we'll not doing
the three weeks earlier thing.
91
00:04:33,854 --> 00:04:37,781
Abed insert dialogue here by you
dropping the fourth wall shtick.
92
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Nice. Careful you don't flood it.
93
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:42,208
That's the fifth time you've
reminded me not to flood something.
94
00:04:42,209 --> 00:04:44,408
I'm sorry but it doesn't
apply to our situation.
95
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,529
I'm gonna check the battery.
96
00:04:46,479 --> 00:04:48,395
Can you send someone or not?
97
00:04:48,396 --> 00:04:49,299
Can you please hold?
98
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,936
No, I can't hold.
99
00:04:51,937 --> 00:04:53,144
Darn it.
100
00:04:53,145 --> 00:04:57,708
When they put you on hold, you
hang up and you call right back.
101
00:04:57,709 --> 00:04:58,687
Frankie taught me that.
102
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Hi, it's me.
103
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Yeah, the one you put on hold.
104
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See where that got you?
105
00:05:03,089 --> 00:05:04,074
Can you send somebody or not?
106
00:05:04,074 --> 00:05:04,658
Please hold.
107
00:05:04,659 --> 00:05:06,406
Don't you dare.
108
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:09,478
When they put you on hold,
hang up and call right back.
109
00:05:09,479 --> 00:05:11,528
I can play this game all day.
110
00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:14,741
I told you we need roadside service on
- Could you please hold?
111
00:05:14,742 --> 00:05:17,178
Oh, you can't be serious.
112
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Well hello, guess who.
113
00:05:18,959 --> 00:05:20,868
I got nothing but fingers and time, pal.
114
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Road side service, Moffett pass.
115
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All right, all right.
116
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You, well, you could've
told me that an hour ago.
117
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RV is full of crazy ladies.
118
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Your RV is full of crazy ladies, good bye.
119
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Have any of you heard of Armed Forces Day?
120
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Because apparently it's today
and it's really boning us.
121
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Yep, here it is, Armed Forces Day, huh.
122
00:05:40,865 --> 00:05:43,078
Why would they put it in May?
123
00:05:43,079 --> 00:05:46,828
It's just sitting there in Memorial
Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah.
124
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Fitting that both war holidays
have to fight each other
125
00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,478
over the same month.
126
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Notable that the one we remember
is the one with the theme of memory.
127
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Way to make this about justifying
your unmarketable sensibilities.
128
00:05:55,989 --> 00:06:01,068
Well, apparently Armed Forces Day
is the big one for tow truck drivers.
129
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:04,098
Because there are three within
200 miles of this spot and
130
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they're all in the same parade.
131
00:06:06,269 --> 00:06:11,378
Maybe it'll come by this way
if we offer them instruments?
132
00:06:11,379 --> 00:06:12,868
Nobody reroutes parades.
133
00:06:12,869 --> 00:06:14,468
They rerouted Kennedy's parade.
134
00:06:14,469 --> 00:06:17,158
So, we'll just call the CIA,
tell them we want to assassinate
135
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,798
the President, and we'll be home
in time for Wheel of Fortune.
136
00:06:19,799 --> 00:06:20,619
Who are we kidding?
137
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:21,838
That'll never work.
138
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:25,168
We got Britta'd, yes, I use it too.
139
00:06:25,169 --> 00:06:28,308
I don't want anybody here
blaming themselves for this.
140
00:06:28,309 --> 00:06:29,633
I want everyone blaming Frankie.
141
00:06:29,634 --> 00:06:30,574
What?
142
00:06:30,575 --> 00:06:32,808
She is the reason we are here.
143
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,698
This is what happens when you
make decisions outside the moment.
144
00:06:36,699 --> 00:06:39,648
Whatever moment you were in the
day you got on the Internet and
145
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:44,108
bought a gigantic hand, I am proud
to remain outside until I die.
146
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You will baby.
147
00:06:45,299 --> 00:06:47,518
And this is where logic gets you,
148
00:06:47,519 --> 00:06:52,448
stuck in a Rocky Mountain pass at
sundown, gradually freezing to death.
149
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And forced to decide somewhere in
the backs of our heads, just in case,
150
00:06:56,485 --> 00:06:57,718
who we'd eat first.
151
00:06:57,719 --> 00:06:58,489
Annie, right?
152
00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:00,588
What? It's not a judgment,
it's about biology.
153
00:07:00,589 --> 00:07:01,109
What?
154
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:04,998
Craig, the hand currently
crushing our lives
155
00:07:04,999 --> 00:07:06,308
is not about being in the moment.
156
00:07:06,309 --> 00:07:08,957
You bought this thing we can't
return with money we don't have,
157
00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:09,740
nobody knows why.
158
00:07:09,741 --> 00:07:13,447
And your latest idea is to put it
on the quad with a plaque that says
159
00:07:13,448 --> 00:07:14,968
give a hand to your brain.
160
00:07:14,969 --> 00:07:16,406
Give your brain a hand.
161
00:07:16,407 --> 00:07:18,658
You're making it sound stupid on purpose.
162
00:07:18,659 --> 00:07:21,278
It's over Craig, you are
lucky to have Frankie.
163
00:07:21,279 --> 00:07:23,268
And you're lucky she was
able to find some weirdo,
164
00:07:23,269 --> 00:07:27,548
excuse me, bigger weirdo on
eBay willing to pay cash for it.
165
00:07:27,549 --> 00:07:29,508
This is a lot of narrative pipe.
166
00:07:29,509 --> 00:07:31,528
Maybe we did need a three
weeks earlier flashback.
167
00:07:31,529 --> 00:07:32,614
Abed. Is this a show?
168
00:07:32,615 --> 00:07:34,495
I thought you said you
knew it wasn't a TV show.
169
00:07:35,559 --> 00:07:36,429
Season two you mean?
170
00:07:36,429 --> 00:07:37,189
I don't know.
171
00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:37,919
I can change my mind.
172
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,718
Well can I ask that it not be a
show about you saying it's a show?
173
00:07:40,719 --> 00:07:41,719
Because dumb.
174
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:44,789
You're dumb.
175
00:07:44,789 --> 00:07:45,739
Go in the back.
176
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Go in the back and sit by yourself.
177
00:07:47,409 --> 00:07:48,614
Jeff.
178
00:07:48,615 --> 00:07:49,656
Give him a shot. What's wrong with you?
179
00:07:49,657 --> 00:07:51,108
I'm sick of it.
180
00:07:51,109 --> 00:07:53,568
It's a show, it's not a show,
it's your show, it's my show,
181
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it's a good show, it's a bad show.
182
00:07:54,789 --> 00:07:56,258
I am sick of it.
183
00:07:56,259 --> 00:07:58,368
I don't want to hear the word show again.
184
00:07:58,369 --> 00:08:01,408
Show, show, show, is a show, show, show.
185
00:08:01,409 --> 00:08:04,098
So now it's a show about this?
186
00:08:04,099 --> 00:08:05,288
Oh, you're right, that's way worse.
187
00:08:05,289 --> 00:08:05,901
Abed, come back.
188
00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:06,589
Yes. Yay.
189
00:08:06,590 --> 00:08:07,598
Abed, come back. Yes, yes, yes.
190
00:08:07,599 --> 00:08:08,309
I'm not sorry.
191
00:08:08,310 --> 00:08:09,568
It's not good to be back.
192
00:08:09,569 --> 00:08:12,148
What the hell was that?
193
00:08:12,149 --> 00:08:13,868
The battery is dead.
194
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,178
Flooded?
195
00:08:15,179 --> 00:08:16,868
So help me God.
196
00:08:16,869 --> 00:08:20,852
The RV has two batteries, a
primary, and a second - Secondary.
197
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,128
We overloaded the electrical system,
and killed the engine battery.
198
00:08:26,129 --> 00:08:28,348
So now, the secondary
battery has maybe three or
199
00:08:28,349 --> 00:08:31,188
four hours of juice
- Charge, juice, charge.
200
00:08:31,189 --> 00:08:34,338
Then we have a choice to make.
201
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,908
And Jeff can explain that choice.
202
00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:37,118
No, it's your RV.
203
00:08:37,119 --> 00:08:37,799
This was my show.
204
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,338
You didn't give a damn about that.
205
00:08:39,339 --> 00:08:42,976
Abed, we're all on your side, so if
you're also on your side, it's petty.
206
00:08:42,977 --> 00:08:46,118
We could wait for a couple of hours and
207
00:08:46,119 --> 00:08:48,668
hope that the engine battery resets itself.
208
00:08:48,669 --> 00:08:50,988
If it doesn't, then we're
spending the night here, and
209
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:53,718
at least we have the secondary battery
to keep us warm for a few hours.
210
00:08:53,719 --> 00:08:56,708
No, no, no, we're not spending the
night here, so what's the second option?
211
00:08:56,709 --> 00:08:59,968
Which I am nicknaming
little course of action.
212
00:08:59,969 --> 00:09:04,108
I rewire the secondary battery to
the engine and hope it can start it.
213
00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:07,528
If it doesn't we're spending a very
cold night with two dead batteries.
214
00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:09,188
Okay, let's switch the batteries then.
215
00:09:09,189 --> 00:09:09,969
Good democracy.
216
00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:12,728
Are we sure the secondary
battery won't just die too?
217
00:09:12,729 --> 00:09:14,038
Ha. It's a possibility.
218
00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:15,458
It exists.
219
00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:16,538
But I'm pretty confident,
220
00:09:16,539 --> 00:09:19,718
because the secondary
battery only powers the cabin.
221
00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:21,177
And we've kept the lights off and
222
00:09:21,178 --> 00:09:24,532
it goes without saying that we've all
learned to stop charging our phones.
223
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,700
Why you all looking at
each other like that?
224
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:34,199
And where are each of your phones now?
225
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,103
You know, I'm starting to
suspect the unthinkable.
226
00:09:42,104 --> 00:09:44,973
Namely, that in spite
of all we've experienced,
227
00:09:44,974 --> 00:09:49,244
there's a cartoonish vampiric orgy of
personal devices somewhere in the RV
228
00:09:49,245 --> 00:09:51,568
sucking away our remaining battery.
229
00:09:51,569 --> 00:09:56,294
I only draw limited comfort from the
fact that nobody's running to unplug
230
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:57,062
anything.
231
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:59,353
You know what?
232
00:09:59,354 --> 00:10:01,228
Say nothing.
233
00:10:01,229 --> 00:10:05,693
I'll just, turn the light
switch to the on position.
234
00:10:17,094 --> 00:10:21,820
There is a bright side to this.
235
00:10:21,821 --> 00:10:25,674
Most conventional weapons
don't require electricity.
236
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:29,309
Are you going to eat me first?
237
00:10:38,253 --> 00:10:38,991
Hear those crickets?
238
00:10:38,992 --> 00:10:45,877
This would be a challenging place
to practice your stand-up act.
239
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:47,944
So I rented Hotel Rwanda the other night.
240
00:10:47,945 --> 00:10:50,754
And let me just say, not a date movie.
241
00:10:53,982 --> 00:10:58,115
What would Arnold Schwarzenegger
sound like if he was bit by Dracula?
242
00:11:00,971 --> 00:11:02,804
All in favor?
243
00:11:02,805 --> 00:11:05,289
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.
244
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,059
If there's no other business
- If we're doing this I'd
245
00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:09,539
like to restate importance of telling
some of this story with flashback.
246
00:11:09,540 --> 00:11:11,249
What do you mean by restate?
247
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,779
Oh my god, I fell for it.
248
00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:13,780
Meeting adjourned.
249
00:11:16,598 --> 00:11:18,095
Why do we call them elbows?
250
00:11:18,096 --> 00:11:19,938
Why not arm knees?
251
00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:23,425
Man, I am dying up here.
252
00:11:24,864 --> 00:11:29,495
I'm scaling the blanket rations
inversely to the wattage of each person's
253
00:11:29,496 --> 00:11:30,180
phone.
254
00:11:30,181 --> 00:11:33,428
That way the person who killed
us the most will die the soonest,
255
00:11:33,429 --> 00:11:34,421
which feels fair.
256
00:11:34,422 --> 00:11:36,409
Right, Britta?
257
00:11:36,410 --> 00:11:42,373
I can't go all night being this angry.
258
00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:47,371
Heart attacks run in my family
and you people aren't worth it.
259
00:11:47,372 --> 00:11:49,582
I'm sorry.
260
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,478
It's okay.
261
00:11:50,479 --> 00:11:54,418
I caused the situation by
not topping off the tank, and
262
00:11:54,419 --> 00:11:59,069
that vinyl accordion partition
is a totem of distrust.
263
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:00,354
Sorry for that, too.
264
00:12:00,355 --> 00:12:02,246
Elroy, that's big of you.
265
00:12:02,247 --> 00:12:05,438
And for our part, we're sorry
that charging our perfectly normal
266
00:12:05,439 --> 00:12:07,783
cell phones destroyed
your weirdly fragile RV.
267
00:12:07,784 --> 00:12:11,619
Okay, I'm sorry about that apology.
268
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,060
I'll try to be a better house guest.
269
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:16,284
Oh, no.
270
00:12:16,285 --> 00:12:17,770
Sorry I've been unavailable,
271
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:20,033
I've been trying to cut
to three weeks earlier.
272
00:12:20,034 --> 00:12:22,139
Really feels like we needed that.
273
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:24,529
I have something to apologize for as well.
274
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:27,565
Perhaps you recall earlier when it
seemed as though we drove through
275
00:12:27,566 --> 00:12:28,267
a skunk patch.
276
00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:29,151
Yeah, you were getting high.
277
00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:30,074
Yeah, you were smoking pot.
278
00:12:30,075 --> 00:12:31,153
Yeah, getting high.
279
00:12:31,154 --> 00:12:32,023
You were getting stoned.
280
00:12:32,024 --> 00:12:35,582
Oh, okay, I remember thinking
I really pulled that one off.
281
00:12:35,583 --> 00:12:37,569
You thought that because you were high.
282
00:12:37,570 --> 00:12:41,233
You also thought that we were speeding
cuz you kept seeing the same bird.
283
00:12:47,762 --> 00:12:48,360
All in favor?
284
00:12:48,361 --> 00:12:51,769
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.
285
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:54,009
If there's no other business
- Let me just explain the need for
286
00:12:54,010 --> 00:12:56,509
flashback here and don't interrupt
- Okay, one quick thing and
287
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,937
then you can talk about flashbacks forever.
288
00:12:57,938 --> 00:12:59,917
Meeting adjourned.
289
00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:00,929
Abed?
290
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,229
When they cut to three weeks earlier on TV,
291
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:04,809
they're not traveling in time, dip ass.
292
00:13:04,810 --> 00:13:05,720
Jeff.
293
00:13:05,721 --> 00:13:07,078
Okay, my apology now.
294
00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:10,567
I've had some time to think about it,
and I've decided, I'm sorry for not
295
00:13:10,568 --> 00:13:13,964
asking people what they wanted before
buying all the snacks for the trip.
296
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,124
Wow, really?
297
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:15,816
That's great.
298
00:13:15,816 --> 00:13:16,541
What?
299
00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:18,909
Think about it, it's the worst
thing I've done on this trip.
300
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:20,604
I've been nailing it.
301
00:13:20,605 --> 00:13:21,819
She has.
302
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,089
You have, I haven't been.
303
00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:28,889
I shouldn't be yelling at the
dean in front of any of you,
304
00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:30,463
it's unprofessional.
305
00:13:30,464 --> 00:13:31,509
You're all right Frankie.
306
00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:32,510
We got no complaints.
307
00:13:42,291 --> 00:13:44,601
I forgive all of you.
308
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:52,622
What?
309
00:13:54,229 --> 00:13:55,667
Then that solves the
matter of the giant hand.
310
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,329
If there's no other business
- In a normal road trip story the first act
311
00:13:58,330 --> 00:13:59,649
would end with us
deciding to go on the trip.
312
00:13:59,650 --> 00:14:01,389
The second act would be the
trip ending with a disaster, and
313
00:14:01,390 --> 00:14:02,559
the third act would be us getting back.
314
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:04,883
The problem is that we've already
decided to take this trip weeks from now,
315
00:14:04,884 --> 00:14:06,626
which means the story starts
with us already on the road,
316
00:14:06,627 --> 00:14:08,440
which means the end of act one
won't be us going on the trip,
317
00:14:08,441 --> 00:14:09,446
it'll have to be the disaster.
318
00:14:09,447 --> 00:14:11,542
Which means something even
worse has to happen in act two.
319
00:14:11,543 --> 00:14:14,365
Unless we make the decision, right
now, that act one is a flashback, so
320
00:14:14,366 --> 00:14:16,282
that the beginning story
is now instead of then.
321
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,565
You forgive us?
322
00:14:25,566 --> 00:14:27,729
Absolutely.
323
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:29,689
You turd!
324
00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:30,748
I beg your pardon.
325
00:14:30,749 --> 00:14:31,278
Guys?
326
00:14:31,279 --> 00:14:32,617
You have no sense of accountability.
327
00:14:32,618 --> 00:14:33,709
You're like a child.
328
00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:36,479
If I'm a child, you're a child abuser.
329
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,689
No, not cool, Annie.
330
00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:41,899
You never just said, leave my
hand where it is, I like it there.
331
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:43,369
I demand it stay.
332
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:44,879
Because everyone complained about it.
333
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,969
Well, where's that commitment to
spinelessness when we're all admitting we
334
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:48,660
did stuff wrong?
335
00:14:48,661 --> 00:14:49,759
Okay, I'm sorry.
336
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:50,353
I'm sorry.
337
00:14:50,354 --> 00:14:51,859
I'm a bad dean, okay?
338
00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:52,811
No, that's what you always do.
339
00:14:52,812 --> 00:14:53,951
That's not a real apology.
340
00:14:53,952 --> 00:14:55,069
Jeff? Abed, shut up.
341
00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,102
Go flashback and cut to stuff.
342
00:14:57,103 --> 00:15:00,126
And you, say you're sorry for buying
a giant hand and letting it sit around
343
00:15:00,127 --> 00:15:02,394
until we had to deal with
it, and say it without crying.
344
00:15:02,395 --> 00:15:03,020
No!
345
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:03,905
I'm an adult.
346
00:15:03,906 --> 00:15:06,560
And you can't make me not cry.
347
00:15:06,561 --> 00:15:10,109
You're all a bunch of bullies, and I
will say, I'm sorry, however I want.
348
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,969
And by the way, I'm not sorry!
349
00:15:12,970 --> 00:15:16,219
It's my giant hand and I love it.
350
00:15:16,220 --> 00:15:17,220
We're not selling it.
351
00:15:18,495 --> 00:15:19,968
Okay, this is like crate training a puppy.
352
00:15:19,969 --> 00:15:22,885
Everyone suppress every instinct
you have to let him out and
353
00:15:22,886 --> 00:15:23,943
sleep in bed with us.
354
00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:25,209
Cold.
355
00:15:25,210 --> 00:15:27,548
No, I mean, it's cold in the RV.
356
00:15:27,549 --> 00:15:28,830
I don't care how we treat the dean tonight.
357
00:15:28,831 --> 00:15:32,773
Abed, don't go out.
358
00:15:41,759 --> 00:15:43,435
Did they send you out
here to be mean to me too?
359
00:15:43,436 --> 00:15:47,249
No.
360
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:47,841
Good.
361
00:15:47,842 --> 00:15:50,535
Because I can't cry anymore unless
someone brings me a Pedialyte.
362
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,627
Here.
363
00:16:13,777 --> 00:16:15,123
Pretty comforting, huh?
364
00:16:15,124 --> 00:16:18,607
We could've put it outside the
Art Department, or Biology, or
365
00:16:18,608 --> 00:16:21,239
wood working if we
remove one of the fingers.
366
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,050
You don't belong up here.
367
00:16:22,051 --> 00:16:24,109
It's not right that you're up here.
368
00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:25,320
You get it, don't you, Abed?
369
00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,239
You know what's important about the hand?
370
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:29,979
No, I know what's important
about the story, and
371
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:31,719
I know we're structurally
overdue for a disaster.
372
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,720
Oh, great.
373
00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:37,436
Figures the one person on my side,
is the one playing people chess.
374
00:16:37,437 --> 00:16:40,295
Aah! Don't move, don't move!
375
00:16:40,296 --> 00:16:41,879
What the hell else are we supposed to do?
376
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,099
Flashback with me.
377
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:43,820
What? Just trust me.
378
00:16:43,821 --> 00:16:45,339
I set a flashback three weeks earlier.
379
00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:46,779
It's how this story begins.
380
00:16:46,780 --> 00:16:48,060
Close your eyes and concentrate.
381
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:54,880
And that solves the
matter of the giant hand.
382
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,409
If there's no other business.
383
00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:57,190
Oh, there's business.
384
00:16:57,191 --> 00:16:58,269
Yeah, there's business.
385
00:16:58,270 --> 00:17:01,559
When you tie the hand to the roof
we'd like you to use extra thick straps
386
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:02,100
please.
387
00:17:02,101 --> 00:17:03,179
Extra thick.
388
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:04,150
Extra thick straps!
389
00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:04,880
Reinforced.
390
00:17:04,881 --> 00:17:06,321
All right. Meeting adjourned, great.
391
00:17:08,705 --> 00:17:10,939
Extra thick straps!
392
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:12,849
Extra think straps.
393
00:17:12,850 --> 00:17:14,789
Extra thick straps.
394
00:17:14,790 --> 00:17:15,639
Extra thick straps.
395
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,112
There, that should do it.
396
00:17:17,113 --> 00:17:18,482
Wha, wha, what should do it?
397
00:17:18,483 --> 00:17:19,667
We made the straps extra thick.
398
00:17:19,668 --> 00:17:21,885
Remember? No, I don't remember
because it didn't happen.
399
00:17:21,886 --> 00:17:22,866
It didn't?
400
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,831
Aah!
401
00:17:25,832 --> 00:17:26,829
What?
402
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:30,022
Did something just fall off the roof?
403
00:17:30,023 --> 00:17:32,170
That's a really stupid question, Annie.
404
00:17:32,171 --> 00:17:34,129
Obviously something fell off the roof.
405
00:17:34,130 --> 00:17:35,603
The question is what?
406
00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:44,716
Abed, where's the dean?
407
00:17:44,717 --> 00:17:47,810
Oh, damn, come on.
408
00:17:49,796 --> 00:17:52,459
Okay, one, two, three.
409
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:53,489
Carefully, carefully.
410
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:57,269
How do you lose a hand
off a person haphazardly?
411
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:58,994
You know what, Annie
- Aah!
412
00:17:58,995 --> 00:17:59,972
Dean, hang on.
413
00:17:59,973 --> 00:18:01,691
Dean, we're so sorry, we love you.
414
00:18:03,258 --> 00:18:06,009
Screw you!
415
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:06,659
Aah!
416
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:07,726
What?
417
00:18:07,727 --> 00:18:08,337
Hey, that's my house.
418
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,999
We are not sorry, we hate you!
419
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,549
Are we gonna freeze to death?
420
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:13,550
I call the hand.
421
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,749
The fiberglass will preserve body heat.
422
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:22,769
What's wrong with me if that's hot?
423
00:18:27,988 --> 00:18:31,253
Dean these temperatures are lowering
our immune systems in a world that is
424
00:18:31,254 --> 00:18:33,794
swarming with weird people's
unvaccinated toddlers.
425
00:18:33,795 --> 00:18:36,094
Deal with it.
426
00:18:36,095 --> 00:18:39,176
I'm gonna go run to the other side
and see if he's locked that door too.
427
00:18:39,177 --> 00:18:42,066
It probably undercuts my goals
to announce it out loud but
428
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:45,027
I'm a verbal thinker, I'm not even
sure I have an idea until I say it.
429
00:18:48,107 --> 00:18:50,445
They should make hiking boots
with a compass in the toe.
430
00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:51,884
Go!
431
00:18:51,885 --> 00:18:53,144
But don't you.
432
00:18:53,145 --> 00:18:56,301
Dean, we're sorry and we love you?
433
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,936
Nice uncontrollable question mark, Britta!
434
00:18:59,937 --> 00:19:01,546
You can't even fake it!
435
00:19:01,547 --> 00:19:04,426
Dean, we're sorry and we love you.
436
00:19:04,427 --> 00:19:08,496
Super realistic, Annie,
you're a real sociopath.
437
00:19:08,497 --> 00:19:11,516
I saw all your true colors
when the chips were down.
438
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:13,246
Abed is the only human among you!
439
00:19:13,247 --> 00:19:16,056
And I think we all know how
ironic that is, no offense, Abed.
440
00:19:16,057 --> 00:19:17,106
None possible.
441
00:19:17,107 --> 00:19:19,736
Abed, you bonded with him.
442
00:19:19,737 --> 00:19:20,677
Talk to him.
443
00:19:20,678 --> 00:19:21,766
You're alone in the end zone.
444
00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,006
This ball is yours or nobody's.
445
00:19:24,007 --> 00:19:27,056
I appreciate your appeal to my
well know passion for athletics, and
446
00:19:27,057 --> 00:19:28,836
sarcasm, but I didn't
actually bond with him.
447
00:19:28,837 --> 00:19:29,777
I almost killed him.
448
00:19:29,778 --> 00:19:32,706
My naive obsession with contrived
flashback technique has kept me
449
00:19:32,707 --> 00:19:34,506
from being invested in
any of this actual story.
450
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,236
I mean, what was it even?
451
00:19:36,237 --> 00:19:38,533
A bunch of people in an RV? And
I had to Christopher Nolan it?
452
00:19:38,534 --> 00:19:39,572
Well, there you go.
453
00:19:39,573 --> 00:19:43,786
Now you can forget all about stupid
three weeks earlier flashbacks and
454
00:19:43,787 --> 00:19:46,644
be a hero by joining us
here, in the moment, and
455
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:48,658
talking to the dean like a human.
456
00:19:48,659 --> 00:19:50,466
That's my arc.
457
00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:52,981
That's your arc.
458
00:19:52,982 --> 00:19:56,648
Okay, here we go.
459
00:19:57,815 --> 00:19:58,986
If there's no other business.
460
00:19:58,987 --> 00:20:01,481
I'd like to propose a heavy use
of flashback in this episode.
461
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:02,477
No Abed, don't do it.
462
00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:03,477
Thanks Abed.
463
00:20:04,477 --> 00:20:05,257
Stop that.
464
00:20:05,257 --> 00:20:06,237
Get your head our of your ass.
465
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:07,516
I don't know how. I'm
over saturated with it.
466
00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:08,846
Give me, I, I, I don't know what's real.
467
00:20:08,847 --> 00:20:09,637
You are lying.
468
00:20:09,637 --> 00:20:10,597
You have to be lying.
469
00:20:10,598 --> 00:20:11,796
You enjoy this.
470
00:20:11,797 --> 00:20:12,397
Stop this.
471
00:20:12,398 --> 00:20:13,846
What has gotten into you?
472
00:20:13,847 --> 00:20:15,318
Why are you shocked that he's alienated?
473
00:20:15,319 --> 00:20:17,695
You get him to do something
normal without abusing him.
474
00:20:17,696 --> 00:20:19,300
Abed, listen.
475
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,413
This is a flashback remember.
476
00:20:21,414 --> 00:20:24,014
The real story is happening in the future.
477
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:27,469
You actually flashed
back to now to help us.
478
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:29,683
Okay, that was pretty good.
479
00:20:35,636 --> 00:20:38,647
So sad what happened here,
all those centons ago.
480
00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:41,156
So sad.
481
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:42,017
So preventable.
482
00:20:42,018 --> 00:20:44,796
Space Elder Abed, can you reach
backward with your mind and
483
00:20:44,797 --> 00:20:46,486
save our species?
484
00:20:46,487 --> 00:20:49,372
I can. I'm Space Elder Britta.
485
00:20:56,036 --> 00:20:57,337
What are you guys talkin about?
486
00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:06,337
I'm here now, child.
487
00:21:06,338 --> 00:21:08,217
All will be made right.
488
00:21:11,247 --> 00:21:12,207
Dean.
489
00:21:12,207 --> 00:21:12,947
Abed.
490
00:21:12,948 --> 00:21:14,857
I have discovered the
meaning of the giant hand.
491
00:21:16,577 --> 00:21:18,726
A hand has two functions,
to grip and to release.
492
00:21:20,047 --> 00:21:22,377
But without both of these
powers, it is useless.
493
00:21:23,667 --> 00:21:27,786
Like newborn infants, we grab what
comes near us, hoping to control it,
494
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,096
taste it, jam it into another child's eye.
495
00:21:30,097 --> 00:21:33,857
But, the time we spend
in control of our world,
496
00:21:35,407 --> 00:21:38,086
is the time we spend letting go of others.
497
00:21:38,087 --> 00:21:42,276
Ideas, stories, pride, girls
in soft sweaters, video games,
498
00:21:42,277 --> 00:21:45,536
buttered noodles, grip one
for too long and you lose so
499
00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:51,066
much that you've never held.
500
00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:54,916
This giant hand, was sent to
all of us as an invitation.
501
00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:56,977
To increase our mastery
over the power to hold on.
502
00:21:59,507 --> 00:22:00,507
And let go.
503
00:22:06,328 --> 00:22:09,375
Sorry.
504
00:22:12,925 --> 00:22:14,011
Dummy.
505
00:22:14,012 --> 00:22:15,012
I kinda hate you.
506
00:22:26,182 --> 00:22:27,907
The doors are locked on that side, too.
507
00:22:29,567 --> 00:22:30,138
Took you long enough.
508
00:22:30,139 --> 00:22:32,718
I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop.
509
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,855
Could you lie then?
510
00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:37,736
Sure I can.
511
00:22:37,737 --> 00:22:38,782
Sure I can.
512
00:22:42,126 --> 00:22:43,126
I slapped a man.
513
00:23:12,127 --> 00:23:17,629
Hi, this is Blake, the gentleman to
whom you're selling the giant hand.
514
00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:21,040
I am calling to confirm that
you have the correct address?
515
00:23:22,310 --> 00:23:25,769
We live at the end of a long
driveway which often gets
516
00:23:25,770 --> 00:23:28,772
confused with a road.
517
00:23:28,773 --> 00:23:33,592
Anyway, it's been many hours since
our scheduled appointment time.
518
00:23:33,593 --> 00:23:38,168
Again, it's Blake with a B,
the purchaser of the giant hand.
519
00:23:38,169 --> 00:23:39,956
Bye.
520
00:23:42,771 --> 00:23:48,963
They're not
521
00:23:48,964 --> 00:23:56,964
coming, are they?
522
00:23:58,539 --> 00:23:59,350
I don't know, Karen.
523
00:23:59,350 --> 00:24:00,143
I left a message.
524
00:24:00,144 --> 00:24:02,442
What are you gonna do with?
525
00:24:02,443 --> 00:24:05,242
What am I gonna do with the giant watch?
526
00:24:05,243 --> 00:24:06,163
I don't know.
527
00:24:06,164 --> 00:24:08,302
I, I don't plan for failure.
528
00:24:08,303 --> 00:24:09,682
Have you tried planning for success?
529
00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:12,503
Does everything you do to this family have.
530
00:24:14,083 --> 00:24:15,142
No.
531
00:24:15,143 --> 00:24:16,702
Finish your thought.
532
00:24:16,703 --> 00:24:17,912
Finish your thought.
533
00:24:17,913 --> 00:24:20,922
Does everything have to do with me,
534
00:24:20,923 --> 00:24:24,072
purchasing oversize items on the Internet.
535
00:24:24,073 --> 00:24:26,022
But, that's not what this
is really about, is it?
536
00:24:26,023 --> 00:24:28,562
It's not about a giant
hand, or a giant watch.
537
00:24:28,563 --> 00:24:29,393
Please don't.
538
00:24:29,394 --> 00:24:33,162
It's about a normal sized son.
539
00:24:33,163 --> 00:24:39,675
Who disappeared and it's all my
fault, because I gave him a giant kite!
540
00:24:40,691 --> 00:24:44,912
Yes, how could you not
make that connection?
541
00:24:44,913 --> 00:24:49,212
Why do you continue to buy giant
size versions of everyday objects,
542
00:24:49,213 --> 00:24:52,732
when they are the reason our son is
- Disappeared!
543
00:24:52,733 --> 00:24:53,723
Disappeared.
544
00:24:53,724 --> 00:24:55,752
They never found his body on the ground,
545
00:24:55,753 --> 00:24:57,652
which proves he's still up there waiting.
546
00:24:57,653 --> 00:25:01,869
He's waiting for a better
daddy, with a bigger hand.
547
00:25:05,729 --> 00:25:09,569
Oh, really?
548
00:25:09,570 --> 00:25:12,798
So then why the watch?
549
00:25:12,799 --> 00:25:14,953
I thought it would look really cool.
550
00:25:14,954 --> 00:25:19,565
I'm gonna walk the dog,
and eventually leave you.
551
00:25:19,566 --> 00:25:23,848
I'll put the watch in the garage.
552
00:25:23,849 --> 00:25:26,899
And probably stop showering.
40985
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