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1
00:00:02,869 --> 00:00:05,069
I love when our moms have book club.
2
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:07,471
They talk books, and we have...
3
00:00:07,473 --> 00:00:09,741
- Weeknight sleepovers!
- Weeknight sleepovers!
4
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:13,745
Two best friends,
just doing their thang,
5
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,214
making collages or whatnot.
6
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:19,751
While my mom gets too
drunk to drive me home.
7
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,520
"Treasure Island"! What'd you think?
8
00:00:22,572 --> 00:00:26,508
So good!
How crazy was Gonzo's story arc?!
9
00:00:26,510 --> 00:00:28,176
- Gonzo?
- Yeah!
10
00:00:28,178 --> 00:00:30,512
When they pulled him down from the sail
11
00:00:30,514 --> 00:00:33,648
and his fuzzy blue arms
got all stretched out
12
00:00:33,650 --> 00:00:35,984
and he snapped back like a window blind!
13
00:00:35,986 --> 00:00:39,854
Dut-dut-dut-dut-dut-dut-dut.
That's good writing.
14
00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:42,724
Francine, did you watch
"Muppet Treasure Island"
15
00:00:42,726 --> 00:00:44,459
instead of reading the book?
16
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,662
Yes. But it's basically the same thing.
17
00:00:47,664 --> 00:00:49,597
There's no muppets in the book!
18
00:00:49,599 --> 00:00:51,065
That sounds boring.
19
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:53,668
Steve, I don't want
to bore you with the math.
20
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:55,069
Oh, by all means, do.
21
00:00:55,071 --> 00:00:57,139
These biweekly book club meetings
22
00:00:57,141 --> 00:01:00,608
account for almost
40% of our friendship.
23
00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:03,345
Snot, you've confirmed
what I've always suspected.
24
00:01:03,347 --> 00:01:07,415
Weeknight sleepovers are the
cornerstone of our friendship.
25
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:09,083
The fact our moms are friends
26
00:01:09,085 --> 00:01:12,286
makes us the luckiest
boys in the universe.
27
00:01:12,847 --> 00:01:14,356
Do you like the way I drew the letters?
28
00:01:14,358 --> 00:01:16,758
They look like they came
out of a magazine, right?
29
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,293
You're out of your mind if
you think Gonzo's a dog.
30
00:01:19,295 --> 00:01:20,829
He's blue.
31
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,365
He woofed when he saw the treasure!
32
00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:26,634
Sometimes I think we don't
have anything in common.
33
00:01:26,636 --> 00:01:28,636
Are we just pretending to get along
34
00:01:28,638 --> 00:01:30,504
because our sons are friends?
35
00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:31,706
I think so.
36
00:01:31,708 --> 00:01:33,575
Maybe we can... stop?
37
00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:36,110
Let's never hang out again!
38
00:01:36,112 --> 00:01:37,912
Steve!
39
00:01:37,914 --> 00:01:40,248
We have an exciting announcement.
40
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:44,452
Snot's mom and I have decided to
stop pretending to be friends.
41
00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:45,787
Pretending?
42
00:01:45,789 --> 00:01:48,790
Yep! Book club is canceled forever.
43
00:01:49,597 --> 00:01:53,261
A 40% decrease in friendship?
44
00:01:56,021 --> 00:01:58,935
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
45
00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:02,070
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
46
00:02:02,072 --> 00:02:05,273
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
47
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:09,811
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
48
00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:14,949
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
49
00:02:14,951 --> 00:02:17,285
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
50
00:02:17,287 --> 00:02:18,687
Aah!
51
00:02:19,756 --> 00:02:23,025
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
52
00:02:23,027 --> 00:02:25,760
Please, you have to stay friends!
53
00:02:25,762 --> 00:02:27,295
Think of the children!
54
00:02:27,297 --> 00:02:30,098
No one's saying you
two can't be friends.
55
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,166
Why does it matter if we are?
56
00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:34,436
Well, I don't want to bore you
with the math, Mrs. Smith...
57
00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:35,837
Please, don't.
58
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:38,973
Listen,
maybe you just need to clear the air.
59
00:02:38,975 --> 00:02:42,076
Why don't we talk about what
bothers you about each other?
60
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,177
I'll start.
61
00:02:43,179 --> 00:02:45,580
She's never seen
"Muppet Treasure Island,"
62
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,782
which is a big problem for me.
63
00:02:47,784 --> 00:02:50,919
Book club is just an excuse
for you to get shithosed!
64
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,921
You brought your own bartender!
65
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:56,124
Paul Gary's the name,
mixologist is the game!
66
00:02:56,126 --> 00:02:59,994
I've got aperol spritzes.
Boiling hot aperol spritzes!
67
00:02:59,996 --> 00:03:02,330
He's not even a good bartender!
68
00:03:02,332 --> 00:03:04,266
Aperol spritzers are served cold!
69
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,935
What are you,
the aperol spritzers police?!
70
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,604
I'm sorry,
I'm defensive because you're right.
71
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,273
I'm a terrible mixologist!
72
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:14,008
Let's go, Steve.
73
00:03:14,996 --> 00:03:17,479
Our friendship will survive this, right?
74
00:03:17,996 --> 00:03:20,082
I'll need to crunch the numbers.
75
00:03:21,094 --> 00:03:24,886
If Paul Gary isn't a mixologist,
then who is he?
76
00:03:24,888 --> 00:03:26,955
This is the beginning... Shh!
77
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:30,158
...beginning of a
deeply personal journey.
78
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,627
This is... Get over yourselves!
79
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,996
...my story.
80
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:38,967
Cheer up, Steve.
81
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:41,569
We can still be friends
even if our moms aren't.
82
00:03:41,571 --> 00:03:44,773
Your moms aren't friends anymore?
Well, I'm out.
83
00:03:44,775 --> 00:03:48,042
I am not gonna watch your
friendship fall apart.
84
00:03:48,044 --> 00:03:49,177
What are you talking about?
85
00:03:49,179 --> 00:03:50,912
Your moms being friends is the glue
86
00:03:50,914 --> 00:03:52,714
holding the two of you together.
87
00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:54,248
It's like on the show "Friends."
88
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,984
Remember how their
friendship was held together
89
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,519
by a deep mutual love
90
00:03:57,521 --> 00:04:00,322
of being paid a million
dollars an episode?
91
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,856
That's your moms.
92
00:04:02,092 --> 00:04:03,591
That's... That's crazy.
93
00:04:03,593 --> 00:04:05,127
Toshi, tell him.
94
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:09,797
Toshi? Toshi! Say something!
95
00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:15,003
I speak fluent English
and have the whole time.
96
00:04:16,998 --> 00:04:19,207
Hey, guys, are your moms friends?
97
00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:23,011
Uh, was "The Poisonwood Bible"
written by Barbara Kingsolver?
98
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,413
We're not losing Barry and Toshi.
99
00:04:25,415 --> 00:04:26,881
How do we fix this?
100
00:04:26,883 --> 00:04:28,683
May I suggest drugging the moms?
101
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:32,020
Are you the bartender
from my mom's house?
102
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,421
Sort of. You see,
103
00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:38,160
I'm on a deeply personal
journey to find out who I am.
104
00:04:39,143 --> 00:04:40,294
Okay.
105
00:04:40,296 --> 00:04:42,096
Paul Gary isn't a mixologist,
106
00:04:42,098 --> 00:04:45,033
so I enrolled at Pearl Bailey
to use the chemistry lab.
107
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:48,703
Because I am now... A. Paul Gary,
108
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,372
drug mixologist.
109
00:04:50,374 --> 00:04:53,575
I mix illegal narcotics
together to see what they do.
110
00:04:53,577 --> 00:04:56,310
And recently,
I came across something interesting.
111
00:04:56,312 --> 00:04:59,113
I was working in my lab late one night,
112
00:04:59,115 --> 00:05:02,184
when my eyes beheld an eerie sight.
113
00:05:02,186 --> 00:05:04,919
That's "Monster Mash," right?
You're doing "Monster Mash"?
114
00:05:04,921 --> 00:05:07,589
Never heard of it.
Anyway, I was working in the lab
115
00:05:07,591 --> 00:05:09,191
late one night...
116
00:05:09,193 --> 00:05:12,060
♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight ♪
117
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:15,930
♪ I had acid on a tab, weed in a bag ♪
118
00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,266
♪ A splash of ether on a rag ♪
119
00:05:18,268 --> 00:05:20,134
- ♪ He did the mash ♪
- ♪ He did the mash ♪
120
00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:21,669
♪ I did the narcotics mash ♪
121
00:05:21,671 --> 00:05:23,271
- ♪ Narcotics mash ♪
- ♪ Narcotics mash ♪
122
00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:25,740
♪ It was a coked-out bash ♪
123
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,409
This is "Monster Mash"!
124
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,744
I don't know that song!
125
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,279
I don't know any songs!
126
00:05:31,281 --> 00:05:33,882
All I do know is your moms are milds...
127
00:05:33,884 --> 00:05:35,550
mothers I'd like to drug.
128
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:39,353
And the mash I discovered in
my lab works as a love drug.
129
00:05:39,355 --> 00:05:42,156
Drugs can make people fall in love?
130
00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:43,825
Drugs can do almost anything
131
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,693
once you realize they're
super good for you.
132
00:05:45,695 --> 00:05:49,431
Anyway, I'm proposing we dose
your moms with the love drug
133
00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,433
and make them fall back in love!
134
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,901
And it will work?
135
00:05:52,903 --> 00:05:55,369
Steve, are you actually
thinking about doing this?
136
00:05:55,371 --> 00:05:57,972
- What other options do we have?
- I don't know!
137
00:05:57,974 --> 00:06:00,308
We only brainstormed
for like two seconds
138
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,310
before we started talking to this guy.
139
00:06:02,312 --> 00:06:04,712
Snot's in! Love that enthusiasm!
140
00:06:04,714 --> 00:06:07,115
I'll mix up the drugs,
and you two trick your moms
141
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,850
- into meeting up!
- ♪ They did the mash ♪
142
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:11,319
Aah! Scary song!
143
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:16,458
I can't believe the "Impractical Jokers"
144
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,393
are doing a meet-and-greet
in Langley Falls!
145
00:06:19,395 --> 00:06:21,329
Yeah, well, it's true.
146
00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:23,598
Steve, you seem nervous.
147
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,802
Wait, are you worried the
jokers are gonna joke you?
148
00:06:28,404 --> 00:06:30,204
Don't flatter yourself.
149
00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:33,074
No one's putting a hot
dog in your pocket.
150
00:06:33,076 --> 00:06:35,877
Now, remember, Snot,
when we meet the jokers,
151
00:06:35,879 --> 00:06:37,745
you're my nephew.
152
00:06:37,747 --> 00:06:39,013
Francine.
153
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,551
Shove! Drugs!
154
00:06:43,553 --> 00:06:45,219
- What is this?
- Don't leave me in here...
155
00:06:45,221 --> 00:06:48,490
Congrats on a perfectly
executed drugging, boys.
156
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,926
To the 33rd floor!
157
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,562
- Whoa.
- I really hope this works.
158
00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:57,699
Did you even notice that I
basically teleported us up here?
159
00:06:57,701 --> 00:06:58,967
I was impressed.
160
00:06:58,969 --> 00:07:00,969
Thank you, Snot's mom's kid.
161
00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:02,837
Now, by the time these doors open,
162
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,973
your moms will be fast friends,
163
00:07:04,975 --> 00:07:07,041
unless the dose is too strong.
164
00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:09,377
Are you two prepared to
see your moms hooking up?
165
00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,713
I'm not saying it's what I want to see,
166
00:07:11,715 --> 00:07:13,315
but I won't be disappointed.
167
00:07:14,177 --> 00:07:16,050
Well, I hope you two...
168
00:07:17,921 --> 00:07:20,922
What is happening?!
They're worse than before!
169
00:07:20,924 --> 00:07:23,391
This might not be a love drug.
170
00:07:24,089 --> 00:07:25,927
Yeah, this is meth. I made meth.
171
00:07:25,929 --> 00:07:29,263
Welp, when in Rome...
172
00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:30,932
Aah!
173
00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:34,402
Well, this is surprising.
174
00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:37,071
So to get us to be friends,
you drugged us?!
175
00:07:37,073 --> 00:07:39,273
I don't want you seeing Snot anymore.
176
00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:41,476
He's a terrible influence on you!
177
00:07:41,478 --> 00:07:42,811
- What?!
- No way!
178
00:07:42,813 --> 00:07:45,347
I forbid Snot from seeing Steve!
179
00:07:45,349 --> 00:07:48,016
He's the one who started
calling him Snot,
180
00:07:48,018 --> 00:07:49,417
and now everyone says it!
181
00:07:49,419 --> 00:07:52,220
No, mom! Please, it was my fault.
182
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,356
It's my fault! Don't do this!
183
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,491
But it's really my fault.
184
00:07:56,493 --> 00:07:59,293
I'm a terrible drug mixologist.
185
00:07:59,295 --> 00:08:03,231
Will A. Paul Gary ever know
who he's supposed to be?
186
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:05,200
My story continues.
187
00:08:10,941 --> 00:08:13,208
Well, I'm off. Goodbye, father.
188
00:08:13,210 --> 00:08:15,410
Goodbye, sister. Goodbye, fish.
189
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,346
Damn, he left out mother.
190
00:08:17,348 --> 00:08:20,014
Don't try to sneak around
with Snot at school!
191
00:08:20,016 --> 00:08:21,482
I will find out!
192
00:08:21,484 --> 00:08:23,618
We're finally getting rid of Snot?
193
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:25,153
Good. That kid is the worst.
194
00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:27,355
- Stan, you love Snot.
- I do?
195
00:08:27,357 --> 00:08:29,624
Yeah, I think
your "Memento"-style amnesia
196
00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:30,825
is acting up.
197
00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:32,361
You need to check your tattoos.
198
00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:34,829
- _
- Interesting.
199
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,425
- _
- Concerning.
200
00:08:36,426 --> 00:08:37,426
_
201
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,968
Oh, yeah! Why are we getting rid
of Snot? He's the best!
202
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:43,772
Because mom can't put her son
ahead of her selfish wants.
203
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:45,506
That's how it started.
204
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:48,309
But then someone decided
to drug their mom.
205
00:08:48,311 --> 00:08:51,446
Oh, if it was so awful,
then why did you and Roger
206
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,515
finish the baggie and go
to that warehouse party?!
207
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:57,786
I had no choice but to dance it off!
208
00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:00,989
"You appreciate your family."
209
00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:02,657
That doesn't sound right.
210
00:09:02,659 --> 00:09:05,393
No, it doesn't.
211
00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:11,132
Gosh, our moms did not respond
well to getting dosed, huh?
212
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,467
No kidding.
213
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,003
My mom told me I couldn't
even see you at school.
214
00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:16,537
Rule breakers!
215
00:09:17,606 --> 00:09:20,675
Last night,
I got a phone call from your mom, Smith.
216
00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:23,544
This friendship has
always weirded me out,
217
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:26,681
and I am on board with tearing it apart!
218
00:09:26,683 --> 00:09:27,949
Billy!
219
00:09:27,951 --> 00:09:30,218
Here are your new schedules.
220
00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:32,553
Zero classes together.
221
00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:34,289
Billy, why are you helping him?
222
00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:37,092
I've already got the stitches.
223
00:09:37,094 --> 00:09:40,161
Might as well be a snitches.
224
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:46,767
- Aah!
- Aah!
225
00:10:02,453 --> 00:10:04,719
Aah!
226
00:10:07,765 --> 00:10:10,191
What are we going to do?
Lewis is everywhere.
227
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,193
We could build a friendship here.
228
00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,594
This stall isn't so bad.
229
00:10:13,596 --> 00:10:16,331
I'm doing a "Trainspotting"!
230
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:21,936
Steve and Snot, two friends,
both alike in stupidity.
231
00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:24,272
Busted as hell!
232
00:10:24,274 --> 00:10:25,606
Since you can't be trusted,
233
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:28,209
I'll be escorting Smith
to his next class.
234
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,611
Aah!
235
00:10:38,008 --> 00:10:39,020
Steve!
236
00:10:39,022 --> 00:10:40,421
What are you doing here?
237
00:10:40,423 --> 00:10:43,024
I can't sit at home knowing
you're down the road
238
00:10:43,026 --> 00:10:45,560
staring up at the same stars as me!
239
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,696
I actually don't look
at the stars that often.
240
00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:49,831
They've always kind of bored me.
241
00:10:51,034 --> 00:10:52,701
That's right, chuckle heads!
242
00:10:52,703 --> 00:10:55,770
I'm patrolling your houses, too!
243
00:10:55,772 --> 00:10:57,572
Run!
244
00:11:07,384 --> 00:11:08,717
Go in on foot, Billy!
245
00:11:08,719 --> 00:11:10,985
I'll cut them off on the other side.
246
00:11:15,193 --> 00:11:16,257
I think we lost him.
247
00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:19,528
End of the road...
248
00:11:20,016 --> 00:11:22,197
...for my hypocrisy.
249
00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:25,333
I, too, know what it is to be in love.
250
00:11:25,335 --> 00:11:27,668
I wouldn't say we're in love.
251
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:30,471
But my father forbids our union.
252
00:11:30,473 --> 00:11:34,242
I don't know why. He created her!
253
00:11:35,145 --> 00:11:38,146
Isn't she beautiful?
254
00:11:38,148 --> 00:11:39,814
- Yeah, yeah, super pretty.
- Uh-huh, totally.
255
00:11:39,816 --> 00:11:42,150
Now go! Wait!
256
00:11:42,152 --> 00:11:45,220
He needs to think you overpowered me.
257
00:11:45,222 --> 00:11:48,089
I know violence isn't
in your nature, but...
258
00:11:48,091 --> 00:11:50,025
Eat knuckles, freak!
259
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:55,630
You went easy on me, Steve!
260
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,633
Ma'am.
261
00:11:59,154 --> 00:12:01,069
Psst. Over here!
262
00:12:03,686 --> 00:12:07,041
- Wait, this is that bartender again.
- Mixologist.
263
00:12:07,043 --> 00:12:09,844
And, yes,
I'm still on a deeply personal journey
264
00:12:09,846 --> 00:12:12,247
to discover who I'm supposed to be.
265
00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:13,982
But I think I've figured it out!
266
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,384
And I've gone full apothecary!
267
00:12:16,386 --> 00:12:21,522
That's right!
A. Paul Gary is now A. Poth E. Cary,
268
00:12:21,524 --> 00:12:23,925
dealing in potions and poisons.
269
00:12:26,605 --> 00:12:28,663
Which, at the moment,
are a little difficult to tell apart
270
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,066
because my label maker is garbage.
271
00:12:31,068 --> 00:12:34,002
I hear you've got a real
"Romeo and Juliet" problem.
272
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:37,205
Well, I have
a "Romeo and Juliet" solution...
273
00:12:37,207 --> 00:12:38,807
fake your deaths!
274
00:12:38,809 --> 00:12:40,141
Uhh...
275
00:12:40,143 --> 00:12:43,011
Yes! There's that famous
Snot enthusiasm!
276
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,545
You see, on this shelf,
277
00:12:44,547 --> 00:12:47,415
I've got thousands of
unlabeled potions and poisons.
278
00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:49,484
This will put you in a deep slumber,
279
00:12:49,486 --> 00:12:51,286
indistinguishable from death.
280
00:12:51,288 --> 00:12:54,956
When you're found "dead,"
your mothers will blame themselves.
281
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,558
We'll time it so you wake
up at your own funeral,
282
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,093
and then you pop out of your coffins,
283
00:12:59,095 --> 00:13:00,361
and they'll be so relieved,
284
00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:01,696
they'll let you be friends again!
285
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,432
Steve, we can't do this.
286
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,233
The love drug was a disaster.
287
00:13:05,235 --> 00:13:07,101
Disaster? This guy's acting like
288
00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:09,437
you didn't see me punching
myself in the dick.
289
00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:12,173
We don't have another choice.
290
00:13:12,175 --> 00:13:14,175
Okay, let's do it.
291
00:13:14,177 --> 00:13:15,576
Wait.
292
00:13:15,578 --> 00:13:17,646
That one was the poison.
293
00:13:19,182 --> 00:13:20,549
There.
294
00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:23,117
There.
295
00:13:23,119 --> 00:13:24,719
There.
296
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,055
Actually, whoa. Here's the potion.
297
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:29,991
All the little ones
are full of poison... I think.
298
00:13:29,993 --> 00:13:33,127
But let's just decide to feel confident.
299
00:13:46,275 --> 00:13:49,194
_
300
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:11,700
Steve and Snot had a friendship so close
301
00:14:11,702 --> 00:14:14,035
that they died in each other's arms,
302
00:14:14,037 --> 00:14:16,971
clinging so tight that they
could not be separated.
303
00:14:16,973 --> 00:14:22,110
Now they will be laid to rest together,
in one big-ass coffin.
304
00:14:24,981 --> 00:14:27,916
Francine, I'm so sorry.
305
00:14:27,918 --> 00:14:30,785
All I had to do was pretend to like you,
306
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:33,121
and none of this would have happened!
307
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,790
No, Snot's mom. I'm sorry.
308
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,260
I'd spend an eternity
pretending to like you
309
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:42,597
if it meant Steve would be alive again.
310
00:14:42,599 --> 00:14:44,799
After our loved ones move on,
311
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,335
do we ever see them again on this earth?
312
00:14:47,337 --> 00:14:49,270
Most people say no,
313
00:14:49,272 --> 00:14:53,642
but I say,
sometimes we get a second chance!
314
00:14:55,746 --> 00:14:57,412
Hmm. Shit.
315
00:14:57,414 --> 00:15:00,415
I must've given them poison.
How could that have happened?
316
00:15:00,417 --> 00:15:02,417
Everyone, I have an announcement.
317
00:15:02,419 --> 00:15:04,485
This is actually a real funeral.
318
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,555
This is a strange eulogy.
319
00:15:06,557 --> 00:15:09,758
Uh, second announcement...
I'm not a good apothecary.
320
00:15:10,152 --> 00:15:12,693
My story marches onward.
321
00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:15,764
Please don't let Roger
speak at my funeral.
322
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:20,569
Guys, I know you're sad about Snot,
323
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:23,438
but let me turn that grief into relief,
324
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,706
that sadness into gladness,
325
00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:28,777
that sorrow into
"the sun'll come out tomorrow".
326
00:15:28,779 --> 00:15:30,912
Huh, I'm good at these.
327
00:15:30,914 --> 00:15:32,180
Wait! I was gonna tell you something!
328
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:34,449
You know how I've been
on this crazy adventure
329
00:15:34,451 --> 00:15:36,184
trying to nail down this persona?
330
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,852
- Uh-huh!
- Well, I got it!
331
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:41,857
Apothe-Carrie Bradshaw, sex blogger!
332
00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:45,594
I couldn't help but wonder,
would Steve be alive
333
00:15:45,596 --> 00:15:47,996
if I hadn't accidentally poisoned him?
334
00:15:47,998 --> 00:15:51,732
But sometimes that's how it goes
when you're "Sex and the City."
335
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:54,669
- You poisoned Steve?!
- And Snot!
336
00:15:54,671 --> 00:15:56,537
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy!
337
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,406
If you really miss him,
we can get him back.
338
00:15:58,408 --> 00:16:00,675
What the hell are you talking about?!
339
00:16:00,677 --> 00:16:03,278
We can go to the underworld
and get him back.
340
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,813
The underworld?!
341
00:16:04,815 --> 00:16:07,616
No mortal knows the
path to the underworld!
342
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:10,485
Yeah-huh! There's an elevator
in the back of Sub Hub.
343
00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:11,953
They had a promotion in the '80s
344
00:16:11,955 --> 00:16:14,056
where they were sending people to hell.
345
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,626
Now that my two favorite sad moms
346
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:19,494
have put their differences aside,
347
00:16:19,496 --> 00:16:21,296
it's time to get their boys back.
348
00:16:21,298 --> 00:16:22,563
Then maybe brunch?
349
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,833
We still have to find
out who sold them poison.
350
00:16:24,835 --> 00:16:26,567
No, we don't! Stay focused.
351
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:30,639
Now, through this door lies
the entrance to the underworld.
352
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,175
Join me on the elevator.
353
00:16:34,177 --> 00:16:37,578
Or hell-evator,
as those Sub Hub marketing geniuses
354
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,915
referred to it in the summer of '87.
355
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,985
Here's how it works...
everyone gets sent to different floors
356
00:16:43,987 --> 00:16:45,654
based on how they lived their lives.
357
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,322
There's a floor for philanderers,
358
00:16:47,324 --> 00:16:48,723
gossips, heretics.
359
00:16:48,725 --> 00:16:50,258
Oh! There's a Cinnabon on six!
360
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,126
- Roger!
- Okay, okay!
361
00:16:52,128 --> 00:16:54,395
Someone's in a hurry
to find their dead son.
362
00:16:54,882 --> 00:16:56,397
I think this should be it.
363
00:16:56,399 --> 00:16:58,266
Snot's mom, Steve's mom,
364
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:01,470
welcome to the floor for masturbators.
365
00:17:01,472 --> 00:17:04,539
I mean, it makes sense...
366
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,145
That was... horrifying!
367
00:17:10,147 --> 00:17:12,080
Hmm, no Steve and Snot.
368
00:17:12,082 --> 00:17:14,615
Also, strange it's just
a twisted landscape
369
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,284
full of guys cranking it.
370
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,686
Doesn't seem like a punishment.
371
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,954
More like a really good warehouse party.
372
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,491
- Which floor is next?
- Sodomites.
373
00:17:22,493 --> 00:17:24,493
I'd recommend waiting here.
374
00:17:25,026 --> 00:17:26,661
Roger!
375
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,766
- Did you stop at the Cinnabon?
- Yep.
376
00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:35,303
And even better,
I finally figured out who Paul Gary is.
377
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,505
A sodomite!
378
00:17:36,507 --> 00:17:39,107
My journey has come to an end!
379
00:17:39,109 --> 00:17:40,575
Oh, interesting.
380
00:17:40,577 --> 00:17:42,777
The eighth floor is
just for nibbling tush.
381
00:17:42,779 --> 00:17:44,913
My journey might just
be getting started!
382
00:17:44,915 --> 00:17:47,115
Roger! Where are the boys?
383
00:17:47,117 --> 00:17:50,451
I'm out of ideas.
Maybe we just talk to the man in charge?
384
00:17:50,453 --> 00:17:52,187
And then no matter what he tells us,
385
00:17:52,189 --> 00:17:54,989
we can circle back to
the tush nibbling floor.
386
00:17:56,137 --> 00:17:59,194
And I'm sending my e-mail...
387
00:17:59,196 --> 00:18:00,795
now.
388
00:18:00,797 --> 00:18:03,264
Okay, what are we doing here?
What do we need?
389
00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:05,400
We're looking for our sons.
390
00:18:05,402 --> 00:18:06,868
I will take you to them.
391
00:18:06,870 --> 00:18:09,938
They are with the worst of the worst.
392
00:18:09,940 --> 00:18:13,942
The floor for people
who support live comedy.
393
00:18:13,944 --> 00:18:16,477
I didn't say a billion oil tankers.
394
00:18:16,479 --> 00:18:19,680
I said a billion oil tankers!
395
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,351
Oops, I told that wrong! That's my time!
396
00:18:22,353 --> 00:18:24,953
Alright! Keep it going for Crazy Dave.
397
00:18:24,955 --> 00:18:28,890
Up next, he's the only comedian
down here... Crazy Dave!
398
00:18:29,536 --> 00:18:30,825
Just a reminder, guys.
399
00:18:30,827 --> 00:18:32,961
This is a punishment for me, too.
400
00:18:32,963 --> 00:18:34,295
There they are!
401
00:18:34,297 --> 00:18:35,496
- Steve!
- Mom!
402
00:18:35,498 --> 00:18:37,232
- Snot!
- Snot's mom!
403
00:18:37,234 --> 00:18:38,699
You're coming home.
404
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,968
Who says we want to go?
405
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:42,837
Yeah, down here,
no one says we can't be friends.
406
00:18:42,839 --> 00:18:45,640
You can be friends back home.
407
00:18:45,642 --> 00:18:48,042
Steve, I'm sorry.
408
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:50,912
As a mother, I should've put you first.
409
00:18:50,914 --> 00:18:54,115
And it was wrong of me to do
something that made you die.
410
00:18:54,117 --> 00:18:58,319
I'm sorry, too, Snot.
Children should be alive.
411
00:18:58,321 --> 00:19:01,722
Wow, you guys really
have learned your lesson.
412
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:04,993
I love you, mom. Let's go home.
413
00:19:05,758 --> 00:19:07,219
Not so fast!
414
00:19:07,254 --> 00:19:10,064
I can't just release souls back
into the world of the living.
415
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,533
A bargain must be struck!
416
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:16,404
Yow! That was sick!
417
00:19:18,942 --> 00:19:21,542
Your refusal to spend time together
418
00:19:21,544 --> 00:19:24,946
started Steve and Snot on the
journey that led them here.
419
00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:26,948
If you want them to go back,
420
00:19:26,950 --> 00:19:30,418
you must stay behind
in this room together.
421
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,220
Ugh, really?
422
00:19:32,222 --> 00:19:33,422
For how long?
423
00:19:33,424 --> 00:19:35,223
For eternity!
424
00:19:35,225 --> 00:19:37,826
I heard you at the funeral!
You said you would!
425
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:40,895
But they'll be miserable
without their mothers!
426
00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:43,965
They won't remember you. No one will.
427
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:45,634
It will be as if you never existed.
428
00:19:45,636 --> 00:19:48,036
But they will be alive.
429
00:19:48,038 --> 00:19:50,939
And they'll have each other?
430
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:54,909
We accept.
431
00:19:54,911 --> 00:19:56,577
Okay, great! That's great.
432
00:19:56,579 --> 00:19:58,980
Just a bit of business...
In a half-hour or so,
433
00:19:58,982 --> 00:20:01,115
one of my archangels is
actually gonna need this room,
434
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:04,119
so we'll probably have to
move you to another room.
435
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:06,455
No, you know what?
I'm the devil, I'm the boss.
436
00:20:06,457 --> 00:20:09,524
You're gonna stay here.
He can go to another room.
437
00:20:09,526 --> 00:20:12,527
You know what? I should ask.
438
00:20:17,067 --> 00:20:20,201
Hey, wanna stay over at my
single dad's house tonight?
439
00:20:20,203 --> 00:20:22,471
Weeknight sleepover!
440
00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:24,739
I'll call my sisterless uncle!
441
00:20:44,627 --> 00:20:48,563
In a different timeline,
you have different tattoos.
442
00:20:48,565 --> 00:20:50,098
That makes sense.
443
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:52,701
Francine loves "Muppet Treasure Island."
444
00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:54,769
Francine? Who is...
445
00:20:54,771 --> 00:20:56,371
Francine!
446
00:20:56,373 --> 00:20:58,340
Bye! Have a great time!
447
00:21:00,206 --> 00:21:01,993
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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