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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,437 Oh, my God. I can't watch this. 2 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,272 Just tell me what's going on. 3 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,047 - Jake! - Screw you, H&R Block! 4 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,685 Babe, you are falling asleep again. 5 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,153 Why don't we just go upstairs? 6 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,088 No. No way. Claire... 7 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,123 ...we are living with a world-famous pop star. 8 00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:27,693 We cannot let him see us go to sleep at... 9:25. 9 00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,217 Well, it can't be worse than the time 10 00:00:31,218 --> 00:00:33,485 that he saw us high-five over a coupon. 11 00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:39,125 Okay, uh, we clearly have no choice here but... 12 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,594 to get super into cocaine. 13 00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:44,197 This, coming from the guy who legitimately thought 14 00:00:44,198 --> 00:00:46,766 he was becoming a chocoholic? 15 00:00:46,767 --> 00:00:49,469 You have no idea what I almost did for a Snickers. 16 00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:51,404 You know what? 17 00:00:51,405 --> 00:00:52,705 This is our house, all right? 18 00:00:52,706 --> 00:00:54,974 We get to decide when it's time to go to bed. 19 00:00:54,975 --> 00:00:58,144 - And it's time to go to bed right now. - Thank you. 20 00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,513 I'm sick of this, man, tiptoeing around here. 21 00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:02,048 We going to sleep, all right? 22 00:01:02,049 --> 00:01:03,983 - Hi guys. - Oh, hey, hey, what you doing 23 00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:06,324 turning off the lights, girl? We're staying up all night. 24 00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:08,688 What's wrong with you? 25 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:10,123 What's up, man? 26 00:01:10,124 --> 00:01:13,126 Not much. My stuff's getting delivered to the house tomorrow, 27 00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:14,327 so I thought I'd head to bed early. 28 00:01:14,328 --> 00:01:16,229 Oh. God. Thank God. 29 00:01:17,431 --> 00:01:18,932 Okay, we are also going to bed, 30 00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:20,667 but we didn't want to say anything, 'cause we were 31 00:01:20,668 --> 00:01:22,435 - afraid you'd think we're losers. - Yeah. 32 00:01:22,436 --> 00:01:24,204 No way. Bed is awesome. 33 00:01:24,205 --> 00:01:27,072 In fact, we should all head up there together. 34 00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:30,743 Well... No, no. 35 00:01:30,744 --> 00:01:32,112 No. We... 36 00:01:32,113 --> 00:01:34,214 No. Right? No. 37 00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:37,016 Ah, uh, Coops, we're very flattered, 38 00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:39,252 and we wish we could say that was the first time 39 00:01:39,253 --> 00:01:40,553 someone asked us to sleep with them... 40 00:01:40,554 --> 00:01:43,590 - Yeah, we misread a Craigslist ad. - Yeah. 41 00:01:43,591 --> 00:01:45,458 But, as handsome 42 00:01:45,459 --> 00:01:48,795 as we both find you, that's just not on the table. 43 00:01:48,796 --> 00:01:52,098 Not gonna share my Claire. 44 00:01:52,099 --> 00:01:54,434 Are we talking about Bed, the nightclub? 45 00:01:54,435 --> 00:01:56,970 - Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no. - No. 46 00:01:56,971 --> 00:01:59,372 Okay. Well, have a great sleep, guys. 47 00:01:59,373 --> 00:02:01,007 Hey, just because we're going to bed doesn't mean 48 00:02:01,008 --> 00:02:02,242 we're going to sleep. 49 00:02:02,243 --> 00:02:04,110 We about to do it. 50 00:02:06,881 --> 00:02:09,916 Going right to sleep. 51 00:02:09,917 --> 00:02:12,318 Come on, honey. Come on, come on. 52 00:02:26,705 --> 00:02:31,805 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 53 00:02:32,306 --> 00:02:35,308 Claire-bear, check it out. 54 00:02:35,309 --> 00:02:37,577 I got a dolly to help us move Cooper's stuff. 55 00:02:37,578 --> 00:02:38,978 Oh, great. 56 00:02:38,979 --> 00:02:40,280 Ooh, you think he's gonna have one 57 00:02:40,281 --> 00:02:43,049 of those super fancy giant TVs? 58 00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:46,152 Like, a 200-inch IMAX one with GPS, 59 00:02:46,153 --> 00:02:49,521 all-wheel drive and cup holders? 60 00:02:50,658 --> 00:02:52,525 You don't know much about TVs, do you? 61 00:02:52,526 --> 00:02:55,061 I do not. 62 00:02:55,062 --> 00:02:56,996 Uh-oh. 63 00:02:56,997 --> 00:02:58,932 - Oh. Hey. - Ah. 64 00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:00,099 Ooh. Hi. 65 00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,568 Hi. I have a delivery for a Mr. James? 66 00:03:01,569 --> 00:03:02,602 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, awesome. 67 00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:04,771 Uh, electronics can go over here, right? 68 00:03:04,772 --> 00:03:06,439 Uh, clothes can go upstairs, 69 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,075 and, uh, any exotic animals can just chill in the backyard. 70 00:03:09,076 --> 00:03:10,542 I put out bowls of water. 71 00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:13,680 Have a nice day. 72 00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:15,248 But wait. Isn't there more? 73 00:03:15,249 --> 00:03:16,349 Nope. 74 00:03:18,052 --> 00:03:19,686 Huh. 75 00:03:19,687 --> 00:03:21,887 - Okay. - Oh, here we go. 76 00:03:24,158 --> 00:03:26,191 That'll do it. 77 00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:40,306 Hey, that works, too. 78 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,675 Coop 'a noodles, what's up? 79 00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:44,677 - Hey. - Got your stuff. 80 00:03:44,678 --> 00:03:46,212 Aw, sick. 81 00:03:46,213 --> 00:03:49,115 Yeah. Uh, is this one box seriously everything you own? 82 00:03:49,116 --> 00:03:51,217 Yeah, man, what happened to all your other stuff? 83 00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:53,353 You know, your Grammys, your Rolling Stone articles, 84 00:03:53,354 --> 00:03:56,856 that wax sculpture that made you look like Angela Lansbury? 85 00:03:56,857 --> 00:03:58,324 Yeah, I got rid of all that. 86 00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,060 Now the only things I take with me are my guitar and this. 87 00:04:01,061 --> 00:04:02,462 It's the last photo I took 88 00:04:02,463 --> 00:04:04,264 with my family before I moved out of home. 89 00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:06,299 Oh, what a cutie. 90 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,769 Wow. I've never seen a ten-year-old with a six pack. 91 00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:12,305 And since I've moved around so much over the years, 92 00:04:12,306 --> 00:04:14,440 it's always been easier to be a minimalist. 93 00:04:14,441 --> 00:04:16,142 So you just throw everything away? 94 00:04:16,143 --> 00:04:18,444 Yeah, I, uh... I scrub it all. 95 00:04:18,445 --> 00:04:20,079 Do you guys know what I mean by "scrubbing"? 96 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,182 Who me? Yeah, dude, of course. 97 00:04:23,183 --> 00:04:25,385 I love to scrub. 98 00:04:25,386 --> 00:04:27,687 Scrub-a-dub-dub. 99 00:04:27,688 --> 00:04:29,155 But, just so Claire doesn't feel left out, 100 00:04:29,156 --> 00:04:31,124 why don't you bounce it her way, you know? 101 00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:32,625 So, whenever I move in to a new place... 102 00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,794 - Later, old place. - I get rid of all my old stuff. 103 00:04:34,795 --> 00:04:36,596 - To the curb, y'all. - Yeah, it's best 104 00:04:36,597 --> 00:04:38,197 just to let that stuff go, 'cause 105 00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:39,432 I don't need things from... 106 00:04:39,433 --> 00:04:41,134 ...the past to remind me of who I am. 107 00:04:41,135 --> 00:04:44,737 And that, young lady, is what scrubbing is. 108 00:04:44,738 --> 00:04:46,372 You see, because me... me and Coops... 109 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,640 we get rid of everything, 110 00:04:47,641 --> 00:04:49,642 because the past is not what defines us. 111 00:04:49,643 --> 00:04:51,210 Jake, you are literally 112 00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:53,313 surrounded by boxes of your old crap. 113 00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,648 This? This isn't crap. 114 00:04:55,649 --> 00:04:57,749 This is all the stuff from my past that defines me. 115 00:04:58,819 --> 00:04:59,986 I am so sorry, Cooper, that you have been 116 00:04:59,987 --> 00:05:01,587 living up here like this. I'm sure, 117 00:05:01,588 --> 00:05:04,190 as a minimalist, being around all this junk 118 00:05:04,191 --> 00:05:05,525 is driving you nuts. 119 00:05:05,526 --> 00:05:07,794 Nah, it's actually refreshing. 120 00:05:07,795 --> 00:05:09,429 People are always cleaning up after me, 121 00:05:09,430 --> 00:05:11,297 but you guys don't even feel society's pressure 122 00:05:11,298 --> 00:05:13,366 to clean up after yourselves. 123 00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:14,867 Ouch. 124 00:05:14,868 --> 00:05:16,402 You know, we will have this place scrubbed 125 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:17,704 by the end of the day. 126 00:05:17,705 --> 00:05:20,206 'Cause, I mean, we do not need to keep copies 127 00:05:20,207 --> 00:05:22,642 of all the letters that you wrote to Scottie Pippen. 128 00:05:22,643 --> 00:05:23,876 No, no, no, we need to keep those, 129 00:05:23,877 --> 00:05:25,678 because he literally wrote back to every one. 130 00:05:25,679 --> 00:05:28,314 Okay. "Dear"... 131 00:05:28,315 --> 00:05:30,483 different font... "...Jake, 132 00:05:30,484 --> 00:05:33,586 "Thanks for your letter and/or drawing. 133 00:05:33,587 --> 00:05:35,555 "Keep on trippin' for Pippen. Signed, 134 00:05:35,556 --> 00:05:38,491 "Pat Lemieux, attorney for Scottie Pippen. 135 00:05:38,492 --> 00:05:40,727 This letter does not reflect the views 136 00:05:40,728 --> 00:05:41,994 of Scottie Pippen." 137 00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:44,097 - Yeah. - Come on, Jake, it's dangerous 138 00:05:44,098 --> 00:05:45,565 for him to sleep up here like this. 139 00:05:45,566 --> 00:05:47,100 Oh, nonsense. 140 00:05:47,101 --> 00:05:50,368 My stuff is organized and stacked meticulously. 141 00:06:02,049 --> 00:06:05,218 Okay, obviously, I will get rid of the bowling ball. 142 00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:14,861 So, as I was saying, 143 00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:17,162 I will have this place scrubbed by the end of the day. 144 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,883 Hey, babe. How's the scrubbing going? 145 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,518 Oh, great. 146 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,719 I'm realizing all my stuff is awesome, 147 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,340 and I'm never getting rid of any of it. 148 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,591 Come on, there's got to be stuff in here that you don't need. 149 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:36,128 Okay, Cooper doesn't keep his real Grammys, 150 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,165 and this is a fake Grammy that you won 151 00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,167 for best karaoke at your office Christmas Party. 152 00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,804 Keeping it. 153 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,474 Well, you definitely don't need 154 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,409 this old plastic basketball. 155 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,546 Well, is it just an old plastic basketball, Claire, 156 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,649 or is it two basket-bowls? 157 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,551 Oh, my God, there's guacamole... 158 00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,287 There's still guacamole in this. 159 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,891 Knock, knock. 160 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,493 Mom, you can't say "knock knock" 161 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,028 when you're already in the house. 162 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,196 Wow, uh, 163 00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,864 you two are dressed an awful lot alike. 164 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,632 Yeah, whenever I buy a shirt for myself online, 165 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,102 I always click on the men's version as well. 166 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,037 - Ah. - It's a great system for us, 167 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,272 'cause we have the same style. 168 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,607 Forever 51. 169 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,714 Come on. You two, this is getting crazy. 170 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,282 You don't just dress alike. 171 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,052 You also split every meal and you watch all the same shows. 172 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,820 And it is perfectly natural 173 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,056 for a couple to merge together over time. 174 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,124 You know, just like... like Daddy's chest and back hair. 175 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,964 It'll happen to you, too. Before you know it, 176 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,799 Claire and Jake will cease to exist, 177 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,367 and in its place will be... 178 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,602 - ...Clake. - Clake. 179 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,936 Yes! 180 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,571 - Jinx. - Jinx. 181 00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:54,874 - Love you. - Love you. 182 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,408 - Booga booga! - Booga booga! 183 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,181 You know, it is horrifying 184 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,150 to see the two of them combined into one person. 185 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,150 Uh, well, technically, that's me. 186 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,725 But I... I understand what you mean. 187 00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,227 And don't worry. We are a young, cool couple. 188 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:18,630 We are nowhere near unisex shopping at Tommy Bahama. 189 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:23,602 So are you guys finally getting rid of all your old junk? 190 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,236 Uh, well, it's actually just me. 191 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,539 I have trouble throwing things out. 192 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,140 Doesn't seem to be a problem with Claire. 193 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,076 What? What? What's funny? 194 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,311 What-what are we laughing at? 195 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,913 Claire holds on to plenty of stuff. 196 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,481 She just does it in plain sight. 197 00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,515 No, I-I... I do not. 198 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,151 Oh, really? 199 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,487 Do you see that "art" on the wall? 200 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,323 Yeah, it's a... Claire told me it was a Banksy print. 201 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,225 Yeah, if Banksy secretly worked at Kinko's. 202 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,929 That's just a collage of all of her 203 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,130 old concert tickets. 204 00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,232 Wait a minute. 205 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,234 Wait. Claire, you lied to me, 206 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,602 and you saw Incubus this many times? 207 00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,339 And what's in here? 208 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,774 That's the, uh, china Claire said 209 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,242 we're saving for a special occasion. 210 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,111 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No. Okay, Jake, Jake, stop, stop. 211 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,947 Stop. I-I... 212 00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:11,116 I need you to trust me. 213 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,651 Aw, Claire-bear. 214 00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,486 That's what the villain says. 215 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,456 Oh, look what we have here. 216 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,959 Old, ratty concert T-shirts, uh, 217 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,594 and some mix tapes. 218 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,163 We got... Oh, my gosh. 219 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,998 What in the Bride of Chucky is this? 220 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,336 It's Rebethany. 221 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,208 That is her terrifying childhood doll. 222 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:39,011 Ugh. Rebethany. 223 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,713 No one can love Claire 224 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,616 like I love Claire. 225 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,283 Oh, God. 226 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,687 The funny thing is, we never even bought it. 227 00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,522 It just... showed up one day. 228 00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,995 Face it... you both have a bit of a hoarding problem. 229 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,463 Now, come on, honey. 230 00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,364 We have to go to the bathroom. 231 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,636 Now, that is scarier than your doll. 232 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:13,646 All right, so here's the plan. 233 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,215 If we don't still use it, we lose it. 234 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,584 If we ain't playin', it ain't stayin'. 235 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:22,021 If it has no purpose, then we... 236 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,089 Uh, uh, we, uh... 237 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,292 We just put it in the throw pile. 238 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,793 We put it in the... Yeah. Okay. 239 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,028 So... 240 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,797 All right, well, this is a definite throw. 241 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,199 Yoink. That is... 242 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,434 a definite keep, all right? 243 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,569 This is my rec jersey, all right? 244 00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,438 What... Oh, you still wear that? 245 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,340 I use it as motivation 246 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,874 to get back to my original weight. 247 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,546 What original weight, 248 00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:51,450 eight pounds, seven ounces? 249 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,786 It's form-fitting, Claire, all right? 250 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,588 Stop focusing on my sexy jersey and focus on, uh, 251 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,325 scrubbing this creature from my nightmares. 252 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,728 Hey, hey. I can't get rid of Rebethany. 253 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,163 Both my parents always worked late, 254 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,697 and she was the only one who would listen to music with me. 255 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,702 Wherever you go, 256 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:13,072 I'll be there. 257 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,640 I'm starting to understand 258 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,240 why you guys had so many house fires. 259 00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,580 Okay, well, what is this giant elastic band for, 260 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,615 really big accounting documents? 261 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,750 Claire, if you must know, 262 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,753 this is my Elasta-blaster Exercise Band. 263 00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,088 Allow me to demonstrate. 264 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,591 I simply put this in the wedge of the door, right, 265 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,193 close said door, 266 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,362 put it around said body, 267 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:39,098 and, oh, look at all that resistance. 268 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,666 Huh? Look at that. 269 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,934 See, back when I played college ball, 270 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,736 this is how I used to explode through the lane. 271 00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,471 I'd be like... And I'd be like... 272 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,878 And it's a great way to practice being held back in a fight. 273 00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,381 Be like, "What? What you talkin' 'bout? No, no, 274 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,915 "no, no, no. Eliot, 275 00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:59,251 "let me talk to him. Let me talk to him, Eliot. 276 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,020 "I just want to talk to him. 277 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,654 "Huh? What? 278 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,095 I'm-a kill him. I'm gonna kill him." 279 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,161 Hey, what's up, Coops? 280 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,829 - Hey. - When did you get here? 281 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,164 What are you guys doing? 282 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,966 Uh, we are trying to scrub our old stuff, 283 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,968 but it's harder than we thought to let go. 284 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,302 It can be tough. 285 00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:19,438 Maybe the lyrics from my latest single can help. 286 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,672 - Oh, we love that song. - Mm. 287 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,242 ♪ Don't let the past ♪ 288 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,310 ♪ Define who you are ♪ 289 00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,546 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 290 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:30,148 ♪ Shake that booty, yeah, yeah. ♪ 291 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,269 You're probably just talking about that first line, huh? 292 00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:39,314 Mm-hmm. 293 00:12:39,315 --> 00:12:41,093 Yeah, I've always thought that if you hold on to the past 294 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,062 too tight, you'll never be ready to embrace 295 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,463 who you are in the future. 296 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,699 Well, you are the most successful person we know. 297 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,701 And maybe we are holding ourselves back 298 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,703 by hanging on to all these memories. 299 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,239 Yeah, I guess we could get rid of some of this stuff. 300 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,375 If it helps, there's an old Australian proverb that says 301 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,510 if you throw something away and you're meant to have it, 302 00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,978 it'll boomerang back to you. 303 00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,848 That's funny. I have a Nerf Boomerang theory: 304 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:05,216 that everything will end up on the roof. 305 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,853 Well, thanks, Cooper. 306 00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,421 Does it work? 307 00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,623 Totally. I once threw this shirt out at a concert, 308 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,792 and, the very next night, a beautiful woman came up 309 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,594 to my hotel room and returned it to me. 310 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,263 She gave me my own shirt right off her back. 311 00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,932 That... Wait a minute. 312 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,003 What did she wear in the hotel room? 313 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,871 Oh. 314 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,543 - She was topless. - Yeah. 315 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,112 She had her b... 316 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,513 Yo. 317 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,051 Claire-bear! 318 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:41,620 I'm back from Goodwill, 319 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,388 and we are officially scrubbed. 320 00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,623 How'd it go, babe? 321 00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,624 Oh, it was fine, 322 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,159 though there was a weird moment 323 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,161 when Rebethany slid out of her box 324 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,862 and got wedged under my brake pedal. 325 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,135 I think this is gonna be good for us. 326 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,604 We can't let the past define who we are. 327 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,606 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, shake that booty ♪ 328 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,242 ♪ Yeah, yeah. ♪ 329 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:06,044 It's time to embrace the future us. 330 00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:11,817 - Oh... my... God. - Oh... my... God. 331 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,152 - Why are you wearing that? - Why are you wearing that? 332 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,419 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 333 00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,888 - I got it online. - I got it online. 334 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,689 - Now we both paid for shipping. - Now we both paid for shipping. 335 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,790 - Stop doing that. - Stop doing that. 336 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,231 - Stop doing that! - Stop doing that! 337 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,761 - We're Clake. - We're Clake. 338 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,296 - I'm going to change. - I'm going to change. 339 00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,731 - No, I'm going to change. - No, I'm going to change. 340 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,432 - Okay, you go ahead. - Okay, you go ahead. 341 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,467 - Ugh! - Ugh! 342 00:14:35,736 --> 00:14:37,336 I know it's crazy, but it feels 343 00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:39,672 like the moment we got rid of all our old stuff, 344 00:14:39,673 --> 00:14:41,807 we merged into the same person. 345 00:14:41,808 --> 00:14:43,409 This is the best thing that's ever happened to you. 346 00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,911 Just give in to being Clake. 347 00:14:45,912 --> 00:14:48,981 - But we don't want to be Clake. - But we don't want to be Clake. 348 00:14:48,982 --> 00:14:50,483 Please. 349 00:14:50,484 --> 00:14:51,817 Thank you. 350 00:14:51,818 --> 00:14:54,353 But we don't want to be Clake. 351 00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,689 I'm really sorry, guys. 352 00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:58,891 If I'd've known the lyrics to "Shake Your Booty, Yeah, Yeah" 353 00:14:58,892 --> 00:15:01,926 would've caused so much pain, I never would've written them. 354 00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:07,266 Trust me, guys, it is so much better this way. 355 00:15:07,267 --> 00:15:09,735 You always know what the other person is talking about. 356 00:15:09,736 --> 00:15:12,204 For instance, if I say something vague, like... 357 00:15:12,205 --> 00:15:14,206 "that actress with the hair," 358 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,409 - Daddy says... - Naomi Watts. 359 00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:17,877 - Mm-hmm. - And if I say 360 00:15:17,878 --> 00:15:19,345 "the place with the chairs..." 361 00:15:19,346 --> 00:15:21,212 Macaroni Grill. 362 00:15:22,215 --> 00:15:23,482 Okay. 363 00:15:23,483 --> 00:15:25,785 Well, you guys could just be making this whole thing up. 364 00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:27,819 Oh, really? 365 00:15:35,295 --> 00:15:37,163 What's that thing with the thing? 366 00:15:37,164 --> 00:15:40,031 Slightly damaged golf umbrella. 367 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,281 - Can I help you? - Yeah, 368 00:15:55,282 --> 00:15:57,350 I, um... I made my friends give all their stuff away, 369 00:15:57,351 --> 00:15:59,352 and I feel like I ruined their lives. 370 00:15:59,353 --> 00:16:01,687 Um, can I get it back? 371 00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:03,989 Yeah, that sounds like a you problem, Crocodile Dun... 372 00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:06,592 Oh, my God. 373 00:16:06,593 --> 00:16:09,829 - You're Cooper James. - Hi. 374 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,896 Oh, my God. 375 00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:17,770 You're funny. 376 00:16:17,771 --> 00:16:19,004 So, can I get it back? 377 00:16:19,005 --> 00:16:20,740 Oh, I'm so sorry. 378 00:16:20,741 --> 00:16:22,341 I mean, obviously, I want to, 379 00:16:22,342 --> 00:16:24,810 but I just have to ask my manager first, so... 380 00:16:24,811 --> 00:16:28,179 Tina, get your ass out here right now! 381 00:16:29,182 --> 00:16:31,016 I'm on lunch. 382 00:16:31,017 --> 00:16:32,752 Oh, Tina, stop studying. 383 00:16:32,753 --> 00:16:34,286 You're never gonna graduate. 384 00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,088 Just get out here! 385 00:16:37,691 --> 00:16:40,325 She's so stupid. 386 00:16:41,328 --> 00:16:42,995 Donna, what is your... 387 00:16:42,996 --> 00:16:46,198 My good friend, Cooper James, left his stuff here 388 00:16:46,199 --> 00:16:47,500 and needs some help getting it back. 389 00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:48,601 Is that cool? 390 00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:55,006 Oh... 391 00:16:56,009 --> 00:16:58,144 Oh, damn it, Tina! 392 00:16:58,145 --> 00:17:00,545 This is why celebrities never come in here. 393 00:17:04,618 --> 00:17:07,018 I'm-I'm sorry. 394 00:17:11,191 --> 00:17:13,726 Good news, guys. I have your stuff back. 395 00:17:13,727 --> 00:17:15,461 You remember my bodyguard. 396 00:17:15,462 --> 00:17:16,462 Ha-ha! Nightmare. 397 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:22,067 Same old Nightmare. 398 00:17:22,068 --> 00:17:24,737 God, our treasures. 399 00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:28,307 The boomerang theory is real. 400 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:29,542 Sorry we made fun of you about it. 401 00:17:29,543 --> 00:17:31,143 You guys didn't make fun of me. 402 00:17:31,144 --> 00:17:34,012 - Oh. - We did. 403 00:17:35,348 --> 00:17:36,782 Ah. Rebethany! 404 00:17:36,783 --> 00:17:40,652 Aw, how did someone not immediately buy you? 405 00:17:42,055 --> 00:17:44,188 'Cause I don't think Satan shops at Goodwill. 406 00:17:47,894 --> 00:17:49,762 My Grammy. Ha! 407 00:17:49,763 --> 00:17:53,165 Uh, uh, this is so unexpected. Um... 408 00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:54,500 Oh, wow, I'm shaking. 409 00:17:54,501 --> 00:17:57,937 Uh, thank you, uh, the... to the academy. Uh, I want 410 00:17:57,938 --> 00:17:59,338 to thank Cooper for bringing this back. 411 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,407 Uh... They're gonna play the music soon. 412 00:18:01,408 --> 00:18:04,309 Um, uh, support music education! 413 00:18:05,779 --> 00:18:07,546 Stupid. 414 00:18:07,547 --> 00:18:09,815 You know, this is weird. Now that I'm looking at this, 415 00:18:09,816 --> 00:18:13,352 I'm realizing I haven't been to a concert in years. 416 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,787 Really? 417 00:18:14,788 --> 00:18:17,055 Well, not since the "flashing of the band" incident. 418 00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:21,459 Never taking my mom to see Andrea Bocelli again. 419 00:18:24,097 --> 00:18:25,464 Isn't he blind? 420 00:18:25,465 --> 00:18:26,931 He is now. 421 00:18:28,602 --> 00:18:32,037 And I haven't played in my rec league since, uh... 422 00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:37,076 ...2010. 423 00:18:37,077 --> 00:18:38,744 Why'd you stop doing those things? 424 00:18:38,745 --> 00:18:40,246 Oh, I don't know. 425 00:18:40,247 --> 00:18:42,248 I guess I-I like spending my nights with Jake. 426 00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:44,250 And he hates live music. 427 00:18:44,251 --> 00:18:45,918 But why'd you quit basketball? 428 00:18:45,919 --> 00:18:47,920 You know, well, all the games were on Sunday mornings, 429 00:18:47,921 --> 00:18:49,989 and that's when Claire and I go to the farmers' market 430 00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:52,371 and buy a bunch of produce that we throw out on Thursdays. 431 00:18:56,930 --> 00:19:00,566 Jake, I don't want to be the girl who stops you 432 00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:01,834 from playing basketball. 433 00:19:01,835 --> 00:19:03,369 Well, I don't want to be the guy that stops you 434 00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,304 from going to concerts. 435 00:19:05,305 --> 00:19:08,507 We're not becoming Clake because we scrubbed our old selves... 436 00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:11,744 it's because we've stopped being our old selves. 437 00:19:11,745 --> 00:19:15,114 Wait, so I didn't screw you guys up? 438 00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:17,116 No way, man. 439 00:19:17,117 --> 00:19:19,385 Turns out, uh, we were already screwed up. 440 00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:23,589 We just have to schedule some time for you 441 00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:25,090 to go out there and be Claire. 442 00:19:25,091 --> 00:19:27,826 Yeah. And for you to be Jake. 443 00:19:27,827 --> 00:19:29,361 - Thanks, babe. - Thanks, babe. 444 00:19:29,362 --> 00:19:31,030 - Hey! - Hey! 445 00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:32,711 - That... that was crazy. - That was crazy. 446 00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:34,867 - Booga booga! - Booga booga! 447 00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:36,034 Ah! 448 00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:40,272 So, uh, do you think the ladies at Goodwill 449 00:19:40,273 --> 00:19:41,807 will let you bring this stuff back? 450 00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:45,276 Yeah, I really don't think I can go back there. 451 00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,755 Bye-bye, basket-bowls. 452 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,056 - Whoa! Whoa. - Whoa! 453 00:19:53,253 --> 00:19:54,372 Those went up quick. 454 00:19:54,373 --> 00:19:55,539 Okay, well... 455 00:19:56,741 --> 00:19:58,742 Farewell, Rebethany. 456 00:19:58,743 --> 00:20:02,345 You only had one eye, but you saw me with two. 457 00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:06,283 I'm proud of you guys. 458 00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,252 You're way too young and cool to be living 459 00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:09,286 like Bonnie and Gerald. 460 00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:10,954 Which is why, tomorrow night, 461 00:20:10,955 --> 00:20:13,390 I am going to a concert with my girlfriends. 462 00:20:13,391 --> 00:20:14,525 - Ah. - Yeah, and I'm gonna 463 00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:16,060 play basketball with my old crew. 464 00:20:16,061 --> 00:20:17,728 Although it's been so long, I don't know 465 00:20:17,729 --> 00:20:19,263 if I can still talk smack. 466 00:20:19,264 --> 00:20:21,131 Man, your hair looks stupid! 467 00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:22,966 Yep, still got it. 468 00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:27,304 Hey, are you guys seeing this? 469 00:20:27,305 --> 00:20:28,505 Oh, my God. 470 00:20:28,506 --> 00:20:29,940 She's not burning. 471 00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:34,244 - Aah! - Aah! 472 00:20:34,245 --> 00:20:38,048 "Make me a grandchild, and I'll spare your soul..." 473 00:20:41,586 --> 00:20:43,087 Uh, but seriously, it's-it's weird 474 00:20:43,088 --> 00:20:44,455 that she's not burning, right? 475 00:20:44,456 --> 00:20:46,316 - Yeah, we should probably go inside. - Yeah. 476 00:20:48,626 --> 00:20:51,028 Good riddance. 477 00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,270 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 34752

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