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1
00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,437
Oh, my God. I can't watch this.
2
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,272
Just tell me what's going on.
3
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,047
- Jake!
- Screw you, H&R Block!
4
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,685
Babe, you are falling asleep again.
5
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,153
Why don't we just go upstairs?
6
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,088
No. No way. Claire...
7
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:24,123
...we are living with a
world-famous pop star.
8
00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:27,693
We cannot let him see us
go to sleep at... 9:25.
9
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:31,217
Well, it can't be worse than the time
10
00:00:31,218 --> 00:00:33,485
that he saw us high-five
over a coupon.
11
00:00:36,090 --> 00:00:39,125
Okay, uh, we clearly have
no choice here but...
12
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,594
to get super into cocaine.
13
00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:44,197
This, coming from the guy
who legitimately thought
14
00:00:44,198 --> 00:00:46,766
he was becoming a chocoholic?
15
00:00:46,767 --> 00:00:49,469
You have no idea what I
almost did for a Snickers.
16
00:00:49,470 --> 00:00:51,404
You know what?
17
00:00:51,405 --> 00:00:52,705
This is our house, all right?
18
00:00:52,706 --> 00:00:54,974
We get to decide when
it's time to go to bed.
19
00:00:54,975 --> 00:00:58,144
- And it's time to go to bed right now.
- Thank you.
20
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,513
I'm sick of this, man,
tiptoeing around here.
21
00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:02,048
We going to sleep, all right?
22
00:01:02,049 --> 00:01:03,983
- Hi guys.
- Oh, hey, hey, what you doing
23
00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:06,324
turning off the lights, girl?
We're staying up all night.
24
00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:08,688
What's wrong with you?
25
00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:10,123
What's up, man?
26
00:01:10,124 --> 00:01:13,126
Not much. My stuff's getting
delivered to the house tomorrow,
27
00:01:13,127 --> 00:01:14,327
so I thought I'd head to bed early.
28
00:01:14,328 --> 00:01:16,229
Oh. God. Thank God.
29
00:01:17,431 --> 00:01:18,932
Okay, we are also going to bed,
30
00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:20,667
but we didn't want to say
anything, 'cause we were
31
00:01:20,668 --> 00:01:22,435
- afraid you'd think we're losers.
- Yeah.
32
00:01:22,436 --> 00:01:24,204
No way. Bed is awesome.
33
00:01:24,205 --> 00:01:27,072
In fact, we should all
head up there together.
34
00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:30,743
Well... No, no.
35
00:01:30,744 --> 00:01:32,112
No. We...
36
00:01:32,113 --> 00:01:34,214
No. Right? No.
37
00:01:34,215 --> 00:01:37,016
Ah, uh, Coops, we're very flattered,
38
00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:39,252
and we wish we could say
that was the first time
39
00:01:39,253 --> 00:01:40,553
someone asked us to sleep with them...
40
00:01:40,554 --> 00:01:43,590
- Yeah, we misread a Craigslist ad.
- Yeah.
41
00:01:43,591 --> 00:01:45,458
But, as handsome
42
00:01:45,459 --> 00:01:48,795
as we both find you,
that's just not on the table.
43
00:01:48,796 --> 00:01:52,098
Not gonna share my Claire.
44
00:01:52,099 --> 00:01:54,434
Are we talking
about Bed, the nightclub?
45
00:01:54,435 --> 00:01:56,970
- Oh. No, no, no, no, no, no.
- No.
46
00:01:56,971 --> 00:01:59,372
Okay. Well, have a great sleep, guys.
47
00:01:59,373 --> 00:02:01,007
Hey, just because
we're going to bed doesn't mean
48
00:02:01,008 --> 00:02:02,242
we're going to sleep.
49
00:02:02,243 --> 00:02:04,110
We about to do it.
50
00:02:06,881 --> 00:02:09,916
Going right to sleep.
51
00:02:09,917 --> 00:02:12,318
Come on, honey. Come on, come on.
52
00:02:26,705 --> 00:02:31,805
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
53
00:02:32,306 --> 00:02:35,308
Claire-bear, check it out.
54
00:02:35,309 --> 00:02:37,577
I got a dolly to help us
move Cooper's stuff.
55
00:02:37,578 --> 00:02:38,978
Oh, great.
56
00:02:38,979 --> 00:02:40,280
Ooh, you think he's gonna have one
57
00:02:40,281 --> 00:02:43,049
of those super fancy giant TVs?
58
00:02:43,050 --> 00:02:46,152
Like, a 200-inch IMAX one with GPS,
59
00:02:46,153 --> 00:02:49,521
all-wheel drive and cup holders?
60
00:02:50,658 --> 00:02:52,525
You don't know much about TVs, do you?
61
00:02:52,526 --> 00:02:55,061
I do not.
62
00:02:55,062 --> 00:02:56,996
Uh-oh.
63
00:02:56,997 --> 00:02:58,932
- Oh. Hey.
- Ah.
64
00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:00,099
Ooh. Hi.
65
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:01,568
Hi. I have a delivery for a Mr. James?
66
00:03:01,569 --> 00:03:02,602
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, awesome.
67
00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:04,771
Uh, electronics
can go over here, right?
68
00:03:04,772 --> 00:03:06,439
Uh, clothes can go upstairs,
69
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,075
and, uh, any exotic animals
can just chill in the backyard.
70
00:03:09,076 --> 00:03:10,542
I put out bowls of water.
71
00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:13,680
Have a nice day.
72
00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:15,248
But wait. Isn't there more?
73
00:03:15,249 --> 00:03:16,349
Nope.
74
00:03:18,052 --> 00:03:19,686
Huh.
75
00:03:19,687 --> 00:03:21,887
- Okay.
- Oh, here we go.
76
00:03:24,158 --> 00:03:26,191
That'll do it.
77
00:03:38,239 --> 00:03:40,306
Hey, that works, too.
78
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,675
Coop 'a noodles, what's up?
79
00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:44,677
- Hey.
- Got your stuff.
80
00:03:44,678 --> 00:03:46,212
Aw, sick.
81
00:03:46,213 --> 00:03:49,115
Yeah. Uh, is this one box
seriously everything you own?
82
00:03:49,116 --> 00:03:51,217
Yeah, man, what happened
to all your other stuff?
83
00:03:51,218 --> 00:03:53,353
You know, your Grammys,
your Rolling Stone articles,
84
00:03:53,354 --> 00:03:56,856
that wax sculpture that made
you look like Angela Lansbury?
85
00:03:56,857 --> 00:03:58,324
Yeah, I got rid of all that.
86
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,060
Now the only things I take
with me are my guitar and this.
87
00:04:01,061 --> 00:04:02,462
It's the last photo I took
88
00:04:02,463 --> 00:04:04,264
with my family
before I moved out of home.
89
00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:06,299
Oh, what a cutie.
90
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,769
Wow. I've never seen a
ten-year-old with a six pack.
91
00:04:09,770 --> 00:04:12,305
And since I've moved around
so much over the years,
92
00:04:12,306 --> 00:04:14,440
it's always been easier
to be a minimalist.
93
00:04:14,441 --> 00:04:16,142
So you just throw everything away?
94
00:04:16,143 --> 00:04:18,444
Yeah, I, uh... I scrub it all.
95
00:04:18,445 --> 00:04:20,079
Do you guys know
what I mean by "scrubbing"?
96
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,182
Who me? Yeah, dude, of course.
97
00:04:23,183 --> 00:04:25,385
I love to scrub.
98
00:04:25,386 --> 00:04:27,687
Scrub-a-dub-dub.
99
00:04:27,688 --> 00:04:29,155
But, just so Claire
doesn't feel left out,
100
00:04:29,156 --> 00:04:31,124
why don't you bounce
it her way, you know?
101
00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:32,625
So, whenever I move in
to a new place...
102
00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,794
- Later, old place.
- I get rid of all my old stuff.
103
00:04:34,795 --> 00:04:36,596
- To the curb, y'all.
- Yeah, it's best
104
00:04:36,597 --> 00:04:38,197
just to let that stuff go, 'cause
105
00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:39,432
I don't need things from...
106
00:04:39,433 --> 00:04:41,134
...the past to remind me of who I am.
107
00:04:41,135 --> 00:04:44,737
And that, young lady,
is what scrubbing is.
108
00:04:44,738 --> 00:04:46,372
You see, because me... me and Coops...
109
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,640
we get rid of everything,
110
00:04:47,641 --> 00:04:49,642
because the past is
not what defines us.
111
00:04:49,643 --> 00:04:51,210
Jake, you are literally
112
00:04:51,211 --> 00:04:53,313
surrounded by boxes of your old crap.
113
00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,648
This? This isn't crap.
114
00:04:55,649 --> 00:04:57,749
This is all the stuff from
my past that defines me.
115
00:04:58,819 --> 00:04:59,986
I am so sorry, Cooper,
that you have been
116
00:04:59,987 --> 00:05:01,587
living up here like this. I'm sure,
117
00:05:01,588 --> 00:05:04,190
as a minimalist,
being around all this junk
118
00:05:04,191 --> 00:05:05,525
is driving you nuts.
119
00:05:05,526 --> 00:05:07,794
Nah, it's actually refreshing.
120
00:05:07,795 --> 00:05:09,429
People are always
cleaning up after me,
121
00:05:09,430 --> 00:05:11,297
but you guys don't even
feel society's pressure
122
00:05:11,298 --> 00:05:13,366
to clean up after yourselves.
123
00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:14,867
Ouch.
124
00:05:14,868 --> 00:05:16,402
You know, we will
have this place scrubbed
125
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:17,704
by the end of the day.
126
00:05:17,705 --> 00:05:20,206
'Cause, I mean, we do
not need to keep copies
127
00:05:20,207 --> 00:05:22,642
of all the letters that
you wrote to Scottie Pippen.
128
00:05:22,643 --> 00:05:23,876
No, no, no, we need to keep those,
129
00:05:23,877 --> 00:05:25,678
because he literally
wrote back to every one.
130
00:05:25,679 --> 00:05:28,314
Okay. "Dear"...
131
00:05:28,315 --> 00:05:30,483
different font... "...Jake,
132
00:05:30,484 --> 00:05:33,586
"Thanks for your letter
and/or drawing.
133
00:05:33,587 --> 00:05:35,555
"Keep on trippin' for Pippen. Signed,
134
00:05:35,556 --> 00:05:38,491
"Pat Lemieux,
attorney for Scottie Pippen.
135
00:05:38,492 --> 00:05:40,727
This letter does not reflect the views
136
00:05:40,728 --> 00:05:41,994
of Scottie Pippen."
137
00:05:41,995 --> 00:05:44,097
- Yeah.
- Come on, Jake, it's dangerous
138
00:05:44,098 --> 00:05:45,565
for him to sleep up here like this.
139
00:05:45,566 --> 00:05:47,100
Oh, nonsense.
140
00:05:47,101 --> 00:05:50,368
My stuff is organized
and stacked meticulously.
141
00:06:02,049 --> 00:06:05,218
Okay, obviously, I will get rid
of the bowling ball.
142
00:06:12,860 --> 00:06:14,861
So, as I was saying,
143
00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:17,162
I will have this place scrubbed
by the end of the day.
144
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,883
Hey, babe. How's the scrubbing going?
145
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,518
Oh, great.
146
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,719
I'm realizing all my stuff is awesome,
147
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,340
and I'm never
getting rid of any of it.
148
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,591
Come on, there's got to be stuff
in here that you don't need.
149
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:36,128
Okay, Cooper doesn't
keep his real Grammys,
150
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,165
and this is a fake Grammy that you won
151
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:42,167
for best karaoke
at your office Christmas Party.
152
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,804
Keeping it.
153
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,474
Well, you definitely don't need
154
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,409
this old plastic basketball.
155
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,546
Well, is it just an old
plastic basketball, Claire,
156
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,649
or is it two basket-bowls?
157
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,551
Oh, my God, there's guacamole...
158
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,287
There's still guacamole in this.
159
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,891
Knock, knock.
160
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,493
Mom, you can't say "knock knock"
161
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,028
when you're already in the house.
162
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,196
Wow, uh,
163
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,864
you two are dressed
an awful lot alike.
164
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,632
Yeah, whenever I buy a
shirt for myself online,
165
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,102
I always click on the
men's version as well.
166
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:18,037
- Ah.
- It's a great system for us,
167
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:20,272
'cause we have the same style.
168
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,607
Forever 51.
169
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,714
Come on.
You two, this is getting crazy.
170
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,282
You don't just dress alike.
171
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:33,052
You also split every meal and
you watch all the same shows.
172
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,820
And it is perfectly natural
173
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,056
for a couple to merge
together over time.
174
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,124
You know, just like... like
Daddy's chest and back hair.
175
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,964
It'll happen to you, too.
Before you know it,
176
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,799
Claire and Jake will cease to exist,
177
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,367
and in its place will be...
178
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,602
- ...Clake.
- Clake.
179
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,936
Yes!
180
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,571
- Jinx.
- Jinx.
181
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:54,874
- Love you.
- Love you.
182
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,408
- Booga booga!
- Booga booga!
183
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,181
You know, it is horrifying
184
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,150
to see the two of them
combined into one person.
185
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,150
Uh, well, technically, that's me.
186
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,725
But I... I understand what you mean.
187
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,227
And don't worry.
We are a young, cool couple.
188
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:18,630
We are nowhere near unisex
shopping at Tommy Bahama.
189
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:23,602
So are you guys finally getting
rid of all your old junk?
190
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,236
Uh, well, it's actually just me.
191
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:26,539
I have trouble throwing things out.
192
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,140
Doesn't seem to be
a problem with Claire.
193
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,076
What? What? What's funny?
194
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:32,311
What-what are we laughing at?
195
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,913
Claire holds on to plenty of stuff.
196
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,481
She just does it in plain sight.
197
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,515
No, I-I... I do not.
198
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,151
Oh, really?
199
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,487
Do you see that "art" on the wall?
200
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,323
Yeah, it's a... Claire told me
it was a Banksy print.
201
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,225
Yeah, if Banksy
secretly worked at Kinko's.
202
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,929
That's just a collage of all of her
203
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,130
old concert tickets.
204
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:53,232
Wait a minute.
205
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,234
Wait. Claire, you lied to me,
206
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,602
and you saw Incubus this many times?
207
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:00,339
And what's in here?
208
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:01,774
That's the, uh, china Claire said
209
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,242
we're saving for a special occasion.
210
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:06,111
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No.
Okay, Jake, Jake, stop, stop.
211
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,947
Stop. I-I...
212
00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:11,116
I need you to trust me.
213
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:12,651
Aw, Claire-bear.
214
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,486
That's what the villain says.
215
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,456
Oh, look what we have here.
216
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,959
Old, ratty concert T-shirts, uh,
217
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,594
and some mix tapes.
218
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:24,163
We got... Oh, my gosh.
219
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,998
What in the Bride of Chucky is this?
220
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,336
It's Rebethany.
221
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,208
That is her terrifying childhood doll.
222
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:39,011
Ugh. Rebethany.
223
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,713
No one can love Claire
224
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,616
like I love Claire.
225
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,283
Oh, God.
226
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,687
The funny thing is,
we never even bought it.
227
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,522
It just... showed up one day.
228
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,995
Face it... you both have
a bit of a hoarding problem.
229
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,463
Now, come on, honey.
230
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,364
We have to go to the bathroom.
231
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,636
Now, that is scarier than your doll.
232
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:13,646
All right, so here's the plan.
233
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,215
If we don't still use it, we lose it.
234
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,584
If we ain't playin', it ain't stayin'.
235
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:22,021
If it has no purpose, then we...
236
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,089
Uh, uh, we, uh...
237
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,292
We just put it in the throw pile.
238
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,793
We put it in the... Yeah. Okay.
239
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,028
So...
240
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,797
All right, well, this
is a definite throw.
241
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,199
Yoink. That is...
242
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,434
a definite keep, all right?
243
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,569
This is my rec jersey, all right?
244
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,438
What... Oh, you still wear that?
245
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,340
I use it as motivation
246
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,874
to get back to my original weight.
247
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,546
What original weight,
248
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:51,450
eight pounds, seven ounces?
249
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,786
It's form-fitting, Claire, all right?
250
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,588
Stop focusing on my sexy jersey
and focus on, uh,
251
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:59,325
scrubbing this creature
from my nightmares.
252
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,728
Hey, hey. I can't
get rid of Rebethany.
253
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,163
Both my parents always worked late,
254
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,697
and she was the only one who
would listen to music with me.
255
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:09,702
Wherever you go,
256
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:13,072
I'll be there.
257
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,640
I'm starting to understand
258
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,240
why you guys had so many house fires.
259
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:21,580
Okay, well, what is this
giant elastic band for,
260
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,615
really big accounting documents?
261
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,750
Claire, if you must know,
262
00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:27,753
this is my Elasta-blaster
Exercise Band.
263
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:29,088
Allow me to demonstrate.
264
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,591
I simply put this in the wedge
of the door, right,
265
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,193
close said door,
266
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,362
put it around said body,
267
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:39,098
and, oh, look at all that resistance.
268
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,666
Huh? Look at that.
269
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,934
See, back when I played college ball,
270
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,736
this is how I used to explode
through the lane.
271
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,471
I'd be like... And I'd be like...
272
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,878
And it's a great way to practice
being held back in a fight.
273
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,381
Be like, "What?
What you talkin' 'bout? No, no,
274
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,915
"no, no, no. Eliot,
275
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:59,251
"let me talk to him.
Let me talk to him, Eliot.
276
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,020
"I just want to talk to him.
277
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,654
"Huh? What?
278
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,095
I'm-a kill him. I'm gonna kill him."
279
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,161
Hey, what's up, Coops?
280
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,829
- Hey.
- When did you get here?
281
00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,164
What are you guys doing?
282
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,966
Uh, we are trying
to scrub our old stuff,
283
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,968
but it's harder than we thought
to let go.
284
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,302
It can be tough.
285
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:19,438
Maybe the lyrics from my
latest single can help.
286
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,672
- Oh, we love that song.
- Mm.
287
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,242
♪ Don't let the past ♪
288
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,310
♪ Define who you are ♪
289
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,546
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
290
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:30,148
♪ Shake that booty, yeah, yeah. ♪
291
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,269
You're probably just talking
about that first line, huh?
292
00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:39,314
Mm-hmm.
293
00:12:39,315 --> 00:12:41,093
Yeah, I've always thought
that if you hold on to the past
294
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,062
too tight,
you'll never be ready to embrace
295
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,463
who you are in the future.
296
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,699
Well, you are the most
successful person we know.
297
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,701
And maybe we are holding
ourselves back
298
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,703
by hanging on to all these memories.
299
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:54,239
Yeah, I guess we could
get rid of some of this stuff.
300
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,375
If it helps, there's an old
Australian proverb that says
301
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,510
if you throw something away
and you're meant to have it,
302
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,978
it'll boomerang back to you.
303
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,848
That's funny.
I have a Nerf Boomerang theory:
304
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:05,216
that everything
will end up on the roof.
305
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:07,853
Well, thanks, Cooper.
306
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,421
Does it work?
307
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,623
Totally. I once threw this shirt
out at a concert,
308
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,792
and, the very next night,
a beautiful woman came up
309
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,594
to my hotel room
and returned it to me.
310
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,263
She gave me my own shirt
right off her back.
311
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:19,932
That... Wait a minute.
312
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,003
What did she wear in the hotel room?
313
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:26,871
Oh.
314
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,543
- She was topless.
- Yeah.
315
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,112
She had her b...
316
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,513
Yo.
317
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,051
Claire-bear!
318
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:41,620
I'm back from Goodwill,
319
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,388
and we are officially scrubbed.
320
00:13:43,389 --> 00:13:44,623
How'd it go, babe?
321
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:45,624
Oh, it was fine,
322
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,159
though there was a weird moment
323
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,161
when Rebethany slid out of her box
324
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,862
and got wedged under my brake pedal.
325
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,135
I think this is gonna be good for us.
326
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,604
We can't let the past
define who we are.
327
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,606
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, shake that booty ♪
328
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,242
♪ Yeah, yeah. ♪
329
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:06,044
It's time to embrace the future us.
330
00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:11,817
- Oh... my... God.
- Oh... my... God.
331
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,152
- Why are you wearing that?
- Why are you wearing that?
332
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,419
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
333
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,888
- I got it online.
- I got it online.
334
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:17,689
- Now we both paid for shipping.
- Now we both paid for shipping.
335
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,790
- Stop doing that.
- Stop doing that.
336
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,231
- Stop doing that!
- Stop doing that!
337
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:22,761
- We're Clake.
- We're Clake.
338
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,296
- I'm going to change.
- I'm going to change.
339
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,731
- No, I'm going to change.
- No, I'm going to change.
340
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,432
- Okay, you go ahead.
- Okay, you go ahead.
341
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,467
- Ugh!
- Ugh!
342
00:14:35,736 --> 00:14:37,336
I know it's crazy, but it feels
343
00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:39,672
like the moment we got rid
of all our old stuff,
344
00:14:39,673 --> 00:14:41,807
we merged into the same person.
345
00:14:41,808 --> 00:14:43,409
This is the best thing
that's ever happened to you.
346
00:14:43,410 --> 00:14:45,911
Just give in to being Clake.
347
00:14:45,912 --> 00:14:48,981
- But we don't want to be Clake.
- But we don't want to be Clake.
348
00:14:48,982 --> 00:14:50,483
Please.
349
00:14:50,484 --> 00:14:51,817
Thank you.
350
00:14:51,818 --> 00:14:54,353
But we don't want to be Clake.
351
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,689
I'm really sorry, guys.
352
00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:58,891
If I'd've known the lyrics to
"Shake Your Booty, Yeah, Yeah"
353
00:14:58,892 --> 00:15:01,926
would've caused so much pain,
I never would've written them.
354
00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:07,266
Trust me, guys,
it is so much better this way.
355
00:15:07,267 --> 00:15:09,735
You always know what the other
person is talking about.
356
00:15:09,736 --> 00:15:12,204
For instance, if I say
something vague, like...
357
00:15:12,205 --> 00:15:14,206
"that actress with the hair,"
358
00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,409
- Daddy says...
- Naomi Watts.
359
00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:17,877
- Mm-hmm.
- And if I say
360
00:15:17,878 --> 00:15:19,345
"the place with the chairs..."
361
00:15:19,346 --> 00:15:21,212
Macaroni Grill.
362
00:15:22,215 --> 00:15:23,482
Okay.
363
00:15:23,483 --> 00:15:25,785
Well, you guys could just be
making this whole thing up.
364
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:27,819
Oh, really?
365
00:15:35,295 --> 00:15:37,163
What's that thing with the thing?
366
00:15:37,164 --> 00:15:40,031
Slightly damaged golf umbrella.
367
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,281
- Can I help you?
- Yeah,
368
00:15:55,282 --> 00:15:57,350
I, um... I made my friends
give all their stuff away,
369
00:15:57,351 --> 00:15:59,352
and I feel like I ruined their lives.
370
00:15:59,353 --> 00:16:01,687
Um, can I get it back?
371
00:16:01,688 --> 00:16:03,989
Yeah, that sounds like
a you problem, Crocodile Dun...
372
00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:06,592
Oh, my God.
373
00:16:06,593 --> 00:16:09,829
- You're Cooper James.
- Hi.
374
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,896
Oh, my God.
375
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:17,770
You're funny.
376
00:16:17,771 --> 00:16:19,004
So, can I get it back?
377
00:16:19,005 --> 00:16:20,740
Oh, I'm so sorry.
378
00:16:20,741 --> 00:16:22,341
I mean, obviously, I want to,
379
00:16:22,342 --> 00:16:24,810
but I just have to ask
my manager first, so...
380
00:16:24,811 --> 00:16:28,179
Tina, get your ass out here right now!
381
00:16:29,182 --> 00:16:31,016
I'm on lunch.
382
00:16:31,017 --> 00:16:32,752
Oh, Tina, stop studying.
383
00:16:32,753 --> 00:16:34,286
You're never gonna graduate.
384
00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:36,088
Just get out here!
385
00:16:37,691 --> 00:16:40,325
She's so stupid.
386
00:16:41,328 --> 00:16:42,995
Donna, what is your...
387
00:16:42,996 --> 00:16:46,198
My good friend, Cooper James,
left his stuff here
388
00:16:46,199 --> 00:16:47,500
and needs some help getting it back.
389
00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:48,601
Is that cool?
390
00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:55,006
Oh...
391
00:16:56,009 --> 00:16:58,144
Oh, damn it, Tina!
392
00:16:58,145 --> 00:17:00,545
This is why celebrities
never come in here.
393
00:17:04,618 --> 00:17:07,018
I'm-I'm sorry.
394
00:17:11,191 --> 00:17:13,726
Good news, guys.
I have your stuff back.
395
00:17:13,727 --> 00:17:15,461
You remember my bodyguard.
396
00:17:15,462 --> 00:17:16,462
Ha-ha! Nightmare.
397
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:22,067
Same old Nightmare.
398
00:17:22,068 --> 00:17:24,737
God, our treasures.
399
00:17:26,139 --> 00:17:28,307
The boomerang theory is real.
400
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:29,542
Sorry we made fun of you about it.
401
00:17:29,543 --> 00:17:31,143
You guys didn't make fun of me.
402
00:17:31,144 --> 00:17:34,012
- Oh.
- We did.
403
00:17:35,348 --> 00:17:36,782
Ah. Rebethany!
404
00:17:36,783 --> 00:17:40,652
Aw, how did someone
not immediately buy you?
405
00:17:42,055 --> 00:17:44,188
'Cause I don't think
Satan shops at Goodwill.
406
00:17:47,894 --> 00:17:49,762
My Grammy. Ha!
407
00:17:49,763 --> 00:17:53,165
Uh, uh, this is so unexpected. Um...
408
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:54,500
Oh, wow, I'm shaking.
409
00:17:54,501 --> 00:17:57,937
Uh, thank you, uh, the...
to the academy. Uh, I want
410
00:17:57,938 --> 00:17:59,338
to thank Cooper for
bringing this back.
411
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,407
Uh... They're
gonna play the music soon.
412
00:18:01,408 --> 00:18:04,309
Um, uh, support music education!
413
00:18:05,779 --> 00:18:07,546
Stupid.
414
00:18:07,547 --> 00:18:09,815
You know, this is weird.
Now that I'm looking at this,
415
00:18:09,816 --> 00:18:13,352
I'm realizing I haven't been
to a concert in years.
416
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:14,787
Really?
417
00:18:14,788 --> 00:18:17,055
Well, not since the "flashing
of the band" incident.
418
00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:21,459
Never taking my mom
to see Andrea Bocelli again.
419
00:18:24,097 --> 00:18:25,464
Isn't he blind?
420
00:18:25,465 --> 00:18:26,931
He is now.
421
00:18:28,602 --> 00:18:32,037
And I haven't played in
my rec league since, uh...
422
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:37,076
...2010.
423
00:18:37,077 --> 00:18:38,744
Why'd you stop doing those things?
424
00:18:38,745 --> 00:18:40,246
Oh, I don't know.
425
00:18:40,247 --> 00:18:42,248
I guess I-I like spending
my nights with Jake.
426
00:18:42,249 --> 00:18:44,250
And he hates live music.
427
00:18:44,251 --> 00:18:45,918
But why'd you quit basketball?
428
00:18:45,919 --> 00:18:47,920
You know, well, all the games
were on Sunday mornings,
429
00:18:47,921 --> 00:18:49,989
and that's when Claire and I
go to the farmers' market
430
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:52,371
and buy a bunch of produce
that we throw out on Thursdays.
431
00:18:56,930 --> 00:19:00,566
Jake, I don't want
to be the girl who stops you
432
00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:01,834
from playing basketball.
433
00:19:01,835 --> 00:19:03,369
Well, I don't want to be
the guy that stops you
434
00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,304
from going to concerts.
435
00:19:05,305 --> 00:19:08,507
We're not becoming Clake because
we scrubbed our old selves...
436
00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:11,744
it's because we've stopped
being our old selves.
437
00:19:11,745 --> 00:19:15,114
Wait, so I didn't screw you guys up?
438
00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:17,116
No way, man.
439
00:19:17,117 --> 00:19:19,385
Turns out, uh, we were
already screwed up.
440
00:19:21,321 --> 00:19:23,589
We just have to schedule
some time for you
441
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:25,090
to go out there and be Claire.
442
00:19:25,091 --> 00:19:27,826
Yeah. And for you to be Jake.
443
00:19:27,827 --> 00:19:29,361
- Thanks, babe.
- Thanks, babe.
444
00:19:29,362 --> 00:19:31,030
- Hey!
- Hey!
445
00:19:31,031 --> 00:19:32,711
- That... that was crazy.
- That was crazy.
446
00:19:33,867 --> 00:19:34,867
- Booga booga!
- Booga booga!
447
00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:36,034
Ah!
448
00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:40,272
So, uh, do you think
the ladies at Goodwill
449
00:19:40,273 --> 00:19:41,807
will let you bring this stuff back?
450
00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:45,276
Yeah, I really don't think
I can go back there.
451
00:19:47,254 --> 00:19:49,755
Bye-bye, basket-bowls.
452
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,056
- Whoa! Whoa.
- Whoa!
453
00:19:53,253 --> 00:19:54,372
Those went up quick.
454
00:19:54,373 --> 00:19:55,539
Okay, well...
455
00:19:56,741 --> 00:19:58,742
Farewell, Rebethany.
456
00:19:58,743 --> 00:20:02,345
You only had one eye,
but you saw me with two.
457
00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:06,283
I'm proud of you guys.
458
00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,252
You're way too young
and cool to be living
459
00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:09,286
like Bonnie and Gerald.
460
00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:10,954
Which is why, tomorrow night,
461
00:20:10,955 --> 00:20:13,390
I am going to a concert
with my girlfriends.
462
00:20:13,391 --> 00:20:14,525
- Ah.
- Yeah, and I'm gonna
463
00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:16,060
play basketball with my old crew.
464
00:20:16,061 --> 00:20:17,728
Although it's been
so long, I don't know
465
00:20:17,729 --> 00:20:19,263
if I can still talk smack.
466
00:20:19,264 --> 00:20:21,131
Man, your hair looks stupid!
467
00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:22,966
Yep, still got it.
468
00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:27,304
Hey, are you guys seeing this?
469
00:20:27,305 --> 00:20:28,505
Oh, my God.
470
00:20:28,506 --> 00:20:29,940
She's not burning.
471
00:20:32,110 --> 00:20:34,244
- Aah!
- Aah!
472
00:20:34,245 --> 00:20:38,048
"Make me a grandchild,
and I'll spare your soul..."
473
00:20:41,586 --> 00:20:43,087
Uh, but seriously, it's-it's weird
474
00:20:43,088 --> 00:20:44,455
that she's not burning, right?
475
00:20:44,456 --> 00:20:46,316
- Yeah, we should probably go inside.
- Yeah.
476
00:20:48,626 --> 00:20:51,028
Good riddance.
477
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,270
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