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1
00:00:34,592 --> 00:00:37,470
Peter, don't forget
you have a physical today at 1:00.
2
00:00:37,595 --> 00:00:41,224
For the hundredth time, Lois,
I won't forget. Nag, nag, nag.
3
00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:43,309
Sometimes I think
I should have married that woman
4
00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:44,727
I met the night of my bachelor party.
5
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,815
Peter, I can't believe
your friends just left you here.
6
00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:49,941
Let's get you home.
7
00:00:50,066 --> 00:00:53,111
Wow, strange lady. You're so sexy.
8
00:00:53,236 --> 00:00:57,115
I should marry you tomorrow
instead of that pain-in-the-ass Lois.
9
00:00:57,198 --> 00:00:58,199
Peter, it's me.
10
00:00:58,324 --> 00:01:01,870
You know what? Screw it.
I am so gonna cheat on Lois right now.
11
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:03,955
- I don't care if she finds out.
- Peter...
12
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:07,083
You got a condom? Never mind.
I got this Milky Way wrapper.
13
00:01:10,879 --> 00:01:12,338
- Put this on.
- Why?
14
00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:15,133
Because I'm skipping my physical
to go have steaks with the guys
15
00:01:15,216 --> 00:01:16,676
and I don't want Lois to know about it.
16
00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:17,719
Um.
17
00:01:18,219 --> 00:01:19,262
Okay.
18
00:01:19,596 --> 00:01:24,309
- Lois, I'm going to my physical now.
- Okay, honey. I'll see you later.
19
00:01:25,894 --> 00:01:26,853
Um...
20
00:01:28,104 --> 00:01:31,524
What the hell? I'll just ask it.
Why did we need the horse suit for that?
21
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,325
Okay, all right, that's...
22
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,036
That's seven 16-ounce steaks.
23
00:01:43,828 --> 00:01:45,705
Come on, Joe.
You haven't even finished one.
24
00:01:45,789 --> 00:01:47,123
I mean, that guy had two.
25
00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:49,250
I know, I know, I'm terrible.
26
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,544
Which is why
I'm gonna order the cheesecake.
27
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,630
I can't do it. I'm...
28
00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:55,507
I'm so full.
29
00:01:55,590 --> 00:01:59,052
Full of what? Estrogen.
Come on, take the skirt off, you pansy.
30
00:01:59,511 --> 00:02:01,346
Let's go. Chow down, Mary Jane.
31
00:02:01,429 --> 00:02:02,889
I said, I can't.
32
00:02:03,014 --> 00:02:04,557
- Eat it. Eat the damn steak.
- No.
33
00:02:04,682 --> 00:02:06,059
- Come on! What are you waiting for?
- I can't.
34
00:02:06,184 --> 00:02:07,477
- Eat it, Joe. Eat it!
- No, no, no.
35
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,395
- Joe, eat it!
- I said I'm not hungry!
36
00:02:10,563 --> 00:02:13,024
Where is it now, huh? Where is it now?
37
00:02:13,108 --> 00:02:15,360
Easy, sailor, easy.
38
00:02:15,443 --> 00:02:17,028
Put the gun down, Joe.
39
00:02:17,112 --> 00:02:19,280
Yeah. Nobody's judging you, man.
It's cool.
40
00:02:19,614 --> 00:02:22,367
I'll just put this back in your purse
next to your tampons.
41
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,205
All right, let's start the bidding.
42
00:02:27,288 --> 00:02:29,374
Jennifer, how much do you bid
on the dinette set?
43
00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:32,210
$675, Bob.
44
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:33,670
$675. Steven?
45
00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:34,754
$780.
46
00:02:34,879 --> 00:02:37,382
- $780. Tammy?
- What was the last bid?
47
00:02:37,465 --> 00:02:39,050
- $780.
- $781.
48
00:02:40,051 --> 00:02:41,386
...you!
49
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,389
Hi, honey. How was your physical?
50
00:02:44,472 --> 00:02:48,226
Good. Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah.
Too good, matter of fact.
51
00:02:48,309 --> 00:02:49,853
You know what the doctor said?
52
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,147
Doctor said I was too healthy, you know?
53
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,898
In too good of shape.
54
00:02:53,982 --> 00:02:55,984
Don't even know how. Too good of shape.
55
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,570
- You didn't go to your physical, did you?
- I did not.
56
00:03:01,197 --> 00:03:03,408
So, Doctor? Is Peter healthy?
57
00:03:03,491 --> 00:03:05,410
My goodness!
You'll be dead within a month.
58
00:03:05,493 --> 00:03:06,578
- What?
- What?
59
00:03:06,661 --> 00:03:08,955
Oh, H�gar the Horrible,
if you keep up that lifestyle
60
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:11,749
of pillaging and giant turkey legs,
you'll be dead within a month.
61
00:03:11,875 --> 00:03:12,876
Now on to you.
62
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,836
So, what do you think?
Pretty healthy, huh?
63
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:17,505
Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look
at your physical results.
64
00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:21,259
There's a spider in here. Now, here we go.
65
00:03:21,342 --> 00:03:23,553
Mr. Griffin, you're going to
expire in a month.
66
00:03:24,053 --> 00:03:25,889
This is your driver's license, isn't it?
67
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:28,808
Now, unfortunately,
I'm afraid you are going to die
68
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:31,394
when you watch
these Dean Martin celebrity roasts.
69
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,813
Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?
70
00:03:33,897 --> 00:03:36,983
Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure
how to say this.
71
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:42,238
Kim Bass-inger, Base-inger,
Basin-jer, Basinger?
72
00:03:42,822 --> 00:03:45,408
- But now on to the cancer.
- Oh, my God!
73
00:03:45,575 --> 00:03:47,994
You are a Cancer, right?
You were born in July?
74
00:03:48,077 --> 00:03:49,496
Now, on to these test results.
75
00:03:49,579 --> 00:03:51,748
My, they're much worse than I thought.
76
00:03:51,915 --> 00:03:54,584
My son got a D minus on his history test.
77
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,419
Now, Mr. Griffin,
that liver's got to come out.
78
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:57,504
- What?
- What?
79
00:03:57,670 --> 00:04:00,340
It's been in the microwave
for three minutes. It'll get dry. Now...
80
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:04,928
Please. Please.
We can't take any more shtick.
81
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,931
Please, just tell us, is Peter healthy?
82
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,766
Oh, yeah. He's fine. He's just really fat.
83
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,685
- Oh, thank God!
- Wait, wait, wait. Hang on a second.
84
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,437
Did you just say I was fat?
85
00:04:14,604 --> 00:04:16,773
Well, yeah. You are pretty fat.
86
00:04:17,273 --> 00:04:18,274
Um...
87
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,944
Okay. This is news to me.
88
00:04:21,778 --> 00:04:24,447
Boy! This is more awkward
than having sex with a rhinoceros
89
00:04:24,614 --> 00:04:25,782
who doesn't love you anymore.
90
00:04:26,783 --> 00:04:29,452
Why wouldn't you look at me during?
91
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,335
Hey, how was your physical?
92
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,255
Stupid doctor said I was fat.
Can you believe that idiot?
93
00:04:40,338 --> 00:04:41,965
Well, Peter, you are on the large side.
94
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:45,301
Oh, please, Brian. If I was fat,
could I do this with a Hula-Hoop?
95
00:04:54,018 --> 00:04:57,355
No. No, no, I guess you couldn't do that
if you were fat.
96
00:05:00,442 --> 00:05:02,902
Careful, Peter. That's an old family photo.
97
00:05:03,027 --> 00:05:04,654
My mother gave it to me.
98
00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:07,323
That's weird.
99
00:05:11,035 --> 00:05:13,246
- I didn't know you had a brother.
- I don't.
100
00:05:13,371 --> 00:05:15,165
I mean, I don't think so.
101
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,333
Hey, if I'm fat, then Stewie's fat, too.
102
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,210
Because we wear the same size onesie.
103
00:05:25,717 --> 00:05:27,552
- Hello, pumpkin.
- Hello, Daddy?
104
00:05:27,677 --> 00:05:29,220
Did I miss your piano recital?
105
00:05:29,345 --> 00:05:31,306
No, Daddy. I'm in my 40s now.
106
00:05:31,389 --> 00:05:32,515
Good God!
107
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,684
I had a question I wanted to ask.
108
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,270
Do I have a brother?
109
00:05:38,605 --> 00:05:40,565
No, no. Don't be silly.
110
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:42,692
'Cause I found this picture...
111
00:05:43,902 --> 00:05:45,737
Oh, Dick. Thank God you're here.
Talk to her.
112
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:48,364
Message CM-27.
113
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:53,077
The subscriber you are trying to reach
is unavailable or outside the calling area.
114
00:05:53,995 --> 00:05:57,874
- What do you feel like doing later?
- Message CM-42.
115
00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:00,710
Let's go pay some hookers
to knock our junk around.
116
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,381
Are you sure this is a good idea?
117
00:06:05,507 --> 00:06:07,425
Daddy's never gonna tell me the truth.
118
00:06:07,509 --> 00:06:10,136
The only way to find out
is to check the family records.
119
00:06:10,261 --> 00:06:13,098
Breaking into
Grandma and Grandpa's house.
120
00:06:13,223 --> 00:06:15,809
This is more exciting
than that time I saw Bobby McFerrin
121
00:06:15,934 --> 00:06:17,393
fall down all those stairs.
122
00:06:23,942 --> 00:06:25,110
Cool!
123
00:06:27,695 --> 00:06:29,906
Wait. What are you doing?
They're sleeping in here.
124
00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:33,034
Oh, please. They get so doped up
on sleeping pills and liquor,
125
00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:35,286
an earthquake wouldn't wake them up.
126
00:06:38,915 --> 00:06:40,959
My God! How does she sleep at night
127
00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:43,586
knowing she has to funnel
this old duffer's hog?
128
00:06:47,382 --> 00:06:49,759
This is it! Patrick Pewterschmidt.
129
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,513
56 Meadow Lane, Brookfield.
I do have a brother.
130
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,640
Oh, my God. I've got to meet him.
131
00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:57,934
Oh, hey, Brian.
You know what would be fun?
132
00:06:58,977 --> 00:07:00,395
Oh, God, totally!
133
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,732
- Awesome!
- Awesome!
134
00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:07,610
You know, sometimes the old-fashioned
playthings are the best.
135
00:07:07,777 --> 00:07:09,571
Hey, kids of America.
136
00:07:09,654 --> 00:07:11,781
It's hand-painted wooden ball in a cup.
137
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,784
Who needs
constant electronic video stimulation
138
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,453
when there's ball in a cup?
139
00:07:16,578 --> 00:07:20,582
Mexico's favorite toy for over 340 years.
140
00:07:20,665 --> 00:07:23,001
Toss the ball, catch it in the cup,
141
00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:26,838
dump it out of the cup, toss it,
and catch it in the cup again.
142
00:07:26,963 --> 00:07:29,841
The ball is on a string
and attached to the cup.
143
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:32,760
So there's no worry
if you don't catch the ball in the cup.
144
00:07:32,844 --> 00:07:36,139
And cleanup is as easy
as catching a ball in a cup.
145
00:07:36,264 --> 00:07:38,975
So why spend another day
not catching a ball in a cup
146
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:41,519
when you could be
catching a ball in a cup?
147
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:46,357
Ball in a cup!
148
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:53,156
Peter, I think maybe you're in denial
about this fat thing.
149
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:56,409
Oh, yeah? Well, I challenge you
to prove to me that I'm fat.
150
00:07:56,993 --> 00:07:58,328
Okay, hang on.
151
00:07:58,578 --> 00:07:59,746
- See this?
- Yeah.
152
00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:02,290
- You know what it is?
- Duh, it's an apple.
153
00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:04,459
Good, good, good. All right, watch this.
154
00:08:06,711 --> 00:08:08,713
What the... What is this?
155
00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:10,298
Is this some kind of gag?
156
00:08:10,381 --> 00:08:12,383
- No. That's orbit.
- Huh?
157
00:08:12,467 --> 00:08:14,385
You have your own gravitational pull.
158
00:08:14,469 --> 00:08:16,054
Oh, that's a bunch of crap.
159
00:08:20,391 --> 00:08:22,268
Now back to The Three Stooges.
160
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:34,906
Can you believe I'm about to meet
my long lost brother?
161
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,492
Maybe Dateline will do a story on us, huh?
162
00:08:37,575 --> 00:08:39,994
I'll get to meet that pompous ass,
Stone Phillips.
163
00:08:40,078 --> 00:08:42,539
He's a kind of guy you hate
till he's inside you.
164
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,290
There it is. 56 Meadow Lane.
165
00:08:47,669 --> 00:08:49,712
"Brookfield Insane Asylum"?
166
00:08:50,255 --> 00:08:52,632
Oh, my God! Mom's brother's crazy.
167
00:08:53,091 --> 00:08:56,344
Oh, no. I didn't catch the ball in the cup.
Oh, wait a minute.
168
00:08:56,427 --> 00:08:59,180
It's okay because the ball is on a string
and attached to the cup.
169
00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:06,729
Doctor, is my brother really insane?
170
00:09:06,855 --> 00:09:09,315
Mrs. Griffin,
we don't use the word "insane. "
171
00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,734
We prefer the term "mentally hilarious. "
172
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,695
I can't wait to meet the lunatic.
173
00:09:13,778 --> 00:09:15,780
I bet he's even weirder
than that commercial I saw.
174
00:09:16,197 --> 00:09:18,825
- Hey, is that that new butter substitute?
- It sure is.
175
00:09:18,950 --> 00:09:21,286
Is it true it has half the calories
of butter or margarine
176
00:09:21,411 --> 00:09:22,787
- with all the great taste?
- Yeah.
177
00:09:22,871 --> 00:09:24,414
- Can I have some?
- Get your own.
178
00:09:24,539 --> 00:09:27,000
- Take that, you bitch!
- What the hell?
179
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:30,378
- How'd you like that?
- Hey, joke's on you. I have hepatitis.
180
00:09:31,588 --> 00:09:33,047
- Patrick?
- Yes?
181
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:36,134
My name's Lois. I'm your sister.
182
00:09:36,217 --> 00:09:39,762
Oh, my God, Lois.
I never thought I'd see you again.
183
00:09:39,888 --> 00:09:41,431
These are my children.
184
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:44,350
Why do you live in a crazy house,
Uncle Patrick?
185
00:09:44,476 --> 00:09:48,855
Well, when I was just a little boy,
I had a very traumatic experience.
186
00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:52,567
Mommy, can I have a drink of water?
187
00:09:53,109 --> 00:09:54,903
Jackie Gleason!
188
00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:56,613
Beat it, kid. Your mother's busy.
189
00:09:58,823 --> 00:10:00,074
Pow, right in the kisser!
190
00:10:00,492 --> 00:10:03,036
- That's a horrible story.
- Yes.
191
00:10:03,161 --> 00:10:05,455
I was so traumatized they sent me here.
192
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:07,457
And I guess
they must have forgotten about me.
193
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,709
Well, you seem perfectly normal to me.
194
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:13,379
And no brother of mine is gonna be
cooped up in some insane asylum.
195
00:10:13,505 --> 00:10:15,840
We are taking you back to Quahog with us.
196
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:17,258
Oh, that's a great idea.
197
00:10:17,342 --> 00:10:19,302
Maybe he can bring his sling blade
and order up some
198
00:10:19,385 --> 00:10:21,471
French-fried potatoes.
199
00:10:21,763 --> 00:10:22,722
Mmm-hmm.
200
00:10:24,682 --> 00:10:26,643
Thank God I'm out of that hospital.
201
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,978
It's great to be eating lunch
with my family
202
00:10:29,104 --> 00:10:31,106
instead of a bunch
of chronic masturbators.
203
00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:32,565
Those people are disgusting.
204
00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:35,819
Is it lonely up there
on your pedestal, Patrick?
205
00:10:35,944 --> 00:10:38,655
Oh, Peter, there you are.
This is my brother Patrick.
206
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,240
Yeah, yeah. Good to meet you, Patrick.
207
00:10:40,365 --> 00:10:43,535
All right, listen up, everybody.
I have something to tell you.
208
00:10:43,660 --> 00:10:46,121
I'm not quite sure how to say this.
209
00:10:46,871 --> 00:10:48,039
I'm fat.
210
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:50,375
Let me give you a minute to absorb that.
211
00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:53,628
That's the way it is.
It's nobody's fault, Meg.
212
00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:56,131
But I've decided to do something about it.
213
00:10:56,214 --> 00:10:58,466
Oh, great.
You gonna drop some weight, fat ass?
214
00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:01,970
No, dummy. I'm gonna help
make this a fat man's world
215
00:11:02,053 --> 00:11:06,349
by establishing the National Association
for the Advancement of Fat People.
216
00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:09,602
This is the best idea I've had
since I slayed that dragon.
217
00:11:11,855 --> 00:11:13,398
- Cybill Shepherd?
- Yes.
218
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,500
People, you are free!
219
00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:40,467
You know, I'm very glad
you're here, Patrick.
220
00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:42,093
Well, I want to tell you that
221
00:11:42,218 --> 00:11:44,721
Marian and I both appreciate
what you've done.
222
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,807
Marian? Oh, you have a girlfriend.
223
00:11:47,932 --> 00:11:50,894
Oh, where are my manners?
Marian is my wife.
224
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:52,437
She is sitting right next to me.
225
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,189
Oh, here we go.
226
00:11:54,272 --> 00:11:55,273
Oh...
227
00:11:56,441 --> 00:11:58,568
Nice to meet you, Marian.
228
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:01,780
What's that, honey? Oh, yes. Hang on.
229
00:12:01,905 --> 00:12:03,406
Marian wants some coffee.
230
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,034
Lois, did you see that? He's nuts.
231
00:12:06,117 --> 00:12:09,162
Brian, he's been locked up
in that place for 30 years.
232
00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:13,458
It's perfectly understandable that
he'd invent an imaginary companion.
233
00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:16,586
Yes. He's even more imaginative
than the people who invented singing.
234
00:12:48,952 --> 00:12:51,287
All right, everyone, I'd like to get started.
235
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,039
I'd like to get...
236
00:12:54,249 --> 00:12:55,291
We're start...
237
00:12:55,416 --> 00:12:58,294
You know what? Maybe...
Maybe everyone should sit down.
238
00:13:09,347 --> 00:13:12,767
Okay, that's better.
Welcome, everybody, to the...
239
00:13:17,814 --> 00:13:20,692
Snacks are best saved for later.
240
00:13:35,457 --> 00:13:38,460
Okay, now, I've prepared
an agenda for our organization,
241
00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:41,546
what we want from the community
as fat people with pride.
242
00:13:59,397 --> 00:14:01,691
All right, I think
we got a lot accomplished here today.
243
00:14:01,816 --> 00:14:03,151
We'll pick this up again tomorrow.
244
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,906
Hey, guys, I'm going for a run.
245
00:14:08,031 --> 00:14:10,950
Do me a favor
and keep Marian company while I'm gone.
246
00:14:11,409 --> 00:14:13,703
- Sure.
- Great. Bye, honey.
247
00:14:16,498 --> 00:14:19,042
Hey, Brian.
Marian just called you an alcoholic.
248
00:14:19,584 --> 00:14:22,337
Oh, yeah? Marian just called you a homo.
249
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,714
Wait a second. I'll be right back.
250
00:14:26,216 --> 00:14:29,552
Hey, Brian, Brian.
What if I put this cucumber right here?
251
00:14:30,345 --> 00:14:33,556
Put the cucumber right there.
Do you think Patrick would be angry?
252
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,100
I don't know, man. It's his wife.
253
00:14:35,183 --> 00:14:39,395
You don't think he'd be ticked off
if I put this... Just put that right there?
254
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:41,731
Just right in that spot,
right there on the couch?
255
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:43,858
Hey, Marian's giving you a thumb's up.
256
00:14:44,359 --> 00:14:45,568
You know what we should do?
257
00:14:45,693 --> 00:14:48,780
We should let it sit here
for a couple of weeks and see if it pickles.
258
00:14:51,282 --> 00:14:54,369
If after three weeks it pickles,
then she's real
259
00:14:54,452 --> 00:14:56,246
and we both have to buy Patrick a steak.
260
00:15:03,461 --> 00:15:06,422
Hey, pie. I know what you want.
261
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,133
I saw you in that movie.
262
00:15:08,258 --> 00:15:09,759
Whore, slut, bitch.
263
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:11,636
You don't deserve to have sex with me.
264
00:15:11,761 --> 00:15:14,097
Instead, I'm gonna
eat the whore out of you.
265
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,766
Peter, did you start a coalition
for fat guys?
266
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,435
Yeah. The fat-guy coalition.
267
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,979
Peter, you shouldn't encourage people
to be fat.
268
00:15:21,062 --> 00:15:23,898
- Fat people are immoral.
- How do you figure, sports fan?
269
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:27,402
They're just bad people,
like that Jackie Gleason.
270
00:15:27,485 --> 00:15:29,529
He was fat and he was bad.
271
00:15:29,654 --> 00:15:31,072
One time when I was a boy...
272
00:15:31,156 --> 00:15:32,740
I love Jackie Gleason.
273
00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:35,368
Hey, take a look at what I bought
at this TV convention.
274
00:15:36,786 --> 00:15:38,872
It's a bus driver's uniform.
275
00:15:39,831 --> 00:15:41,166
Pow, right in the kisser!
276
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:49,507
Pow, right in the kisser!
Pow, right in the kisser!
277
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,176
Pow, right in the kisser!
278
00:15:51,342 --> 00:15:52,677
Pow, right in the kisser!
279
00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:54,095
Pow, right in the kisser!
280
00:15:54,304 --> 00:15:55,638
Pow, right in the kisser!
281
00:15:55,972 --> 00:15:58,850
- Pow, right in the kisser!
- No!
282
00:15:59,017 --> 00:16:01,811
Wow! That set him off
like a Paul Shaffer fire alarm.
283
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,366
- Hello?
- Lois, it's your father.
284
00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:17,786
The hospital called
and said you released Patrick.
285
00:16:17,869 --> 00:16:20,371
Have you lost your mind?
He's incredibly dangerous.
286
00:16:20,497 --> 00:16:23,625
Oh, well, that's ridiculous.
Patrick is a very nice man.
287
00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:27,086
And you should be ashamed of yourself
for locking up your own son.
288
00:16:28,046 --> 00:16:29,506
Whose pickle is this?
289
00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:32,008
This just in. The body of a local fat man
290
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:34,469
was found murdered
in Quahog Park last night.
291
00:16:34,552 --> 00:16:36,554
Police released this sketch of the suspect.
292
00:16:38,807 --> 00:16:40,308
Oh, my God!
293
00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:43,186
Police also released this sketch
of a female accomplice
294
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:44,521
believed to be his wife.
295
00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:52,695
Hello, I'm Tom Tucker.
296
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,615
Quahog's newest serial killer
has struck again.
297
00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:58,118
Since the first victim
at Quahog Park last week,
298
00:16:58,243 --> 00:17:01,871
three more men have been killed,
all of them very, very fat.
299
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:05,583
- Lois, that sketch looks a lot like Patrick.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.
300
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:09,212
I don't know. I mean, he's clearly crazy.
Look at that imaginary wife of his.
301
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:12,757
Well, if she's imaginary, how do you
explain the pickle on the couch?
302
00:17:12,841 --> 00:17:16,886
I don't understand what...
Oh, wait. What? Really?
303
00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:19,931
- Hey, Stewie!
- I know, I know. I heard!
304
00:17:22,434 --> 00:17:23,810
Patrick.
305
00:17:24,352 --> 00:17:25,562
Where have you been?
306
00:17:26,062 --> 00:17:28,898
Oh, it's nothing you need
to concern yourself with, Lois.
307
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,567
Well, that's a relief.
308
00:17:30,692 --> 00:17:32,110
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a relief.
309
00:17:32,193 --> 00:17:35,738
Yeah, the Fat Guy Strangler's living here
and there's a fat guy in the house.
310
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:39,242
This'll be a bigger disaster than
when Peter did Tara Reid's boob job.
311
00:17:41,077 --> 00:17:42,787
Dropped some pepperoni on there.
312
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,456
You know what? That works. Sew it up.
313
00:17:46,624 --> 00:17:48,585
Michael was one of our brothers.
314
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,463
He was a good man. He was a kind man.
315
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:54,757
- He was a fat man.
- And now he's a dead man.
316
00:17:54,883 --> 00:17:58,136
And we're all next.
The Fat Guy Strangler's gonna get us.
317
00:17:58,261 --> 00:17:59,304
- He's right.
- Oh, my God.
318
00:17:59,429 --> 00:18:00,764
- We're finished.
- Will someone tie my shoe?
319
00:18:00,889 --> 00:18:03,224
People, people!
I know what will make us feel better.
320
00:18:03,308 --> 00:18:06,311
Let us sing the NAAFP anthem.
321
00:19:14,796 --> 00:19:16,714
All right, everybody,
just make yourselves at home.
322
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,175
Lois, these are the fat guys. Fat guys, Lois.
323
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,344
My God, look at you fat bastards.
324
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,680
I bet none of you can even find
your own penis.
325
00:19:23,805 --> 00:19:26,349
Find your penis for a dollar.
Find your penis, one dollar.
326
00:19:26,474 --> 00:19:28,685
One dollar, find your penis.
Find your penis here.
327
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,228
Peter, what's going on?
328
00:19:30,311 --> 00:19:31,980
Lois, my people are in danger.
329
00:19:32,063 --> 00:19:34,816
Until they find the Fat Guy Strangler,
we will stay...
330
00:19:34,899 --> 00:19:36,067
Victor, don't lean against that.
331
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,361
Hey, everybody.
332
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,196
Peter, you gotta get
these guys out of here.
333
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,157
- Patrick is the murderer.
- What?
334
00:19:42,991 --> 00:19:44,617
You son of a bitch!
335
00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:47,704
Don't listen to Brian.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
336
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:50,039
Out of my way, Lois. Your brother is toast.
337
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:51,875
Warm buttery toast!
338
00:19:53,251 --> 00:19:55,044
- That sounds good.
- I love toast.
339
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,630
- I just found my penis.
- Run, Patrick, run!
340
00:19:57,755 --> 00:19:59,048
After him!
341
00:20:01,009 --> 00:20:02,677
Boys, to your Rascals!
342
00:20:10,351 --> 00:20:12,687
He went into James Woods.
Let's spread out and find him.
343
00:20:12,771 --> 00:20:14,272
We'll head him off at the...
344
00:20:16,107 --> 00:20:17,692
Todd, man, you got to chew your food.
345
00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:23,239
Brian, I know my brother.
He couldn't have done these things.
346
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,909
Well, let's see if you feel that way
when you see this.
347
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,411
Look.
348
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:37,295
So he has pictures of himself
strangling fat guys.
349
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:39,631
That doesn't mean
he's the Fat Guy Strangler.
350
00:20:39,756 --> 00:20:41,925
Oh, yeah? What about
the dead fat guy under his bed?
351
00:20:42,050 --> 00:20:43,134
Coincidence?
352
00:20:43,259 --> 00:20:45,345
What about the half-dead fat guy
in the corner?
353
00:20:45,470 --> 00:20:46,429
Patrick tried to kill me.
354
00:20:46,554 --> 00:20:49,099
- Well, maybe it's a different Patrick.
- Lois!
355
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:51,684
Okay, okay. Oh, my God!
356
00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:53,728
- Peter's out there with him!
- Wait!
357
00:20:54,145 --> 00:20:55,605
You gonna eat that dead fat guy?
358
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,359
How are we gonna find them?
359
00:20:59,484 --> 00:21:01,111
Don't worry, Lois.
I'm good at finding people.
360
00:21:01,236 --> 00:21:03,613
I was the one who found Bush
after Hurricane Katrina.
361
00:21:05,657 --> 00:21:08,243
- Mr. President, are you up there?
- Go away!
362
00:21:08,326 --> 00:21:11,412
- Sir, there's a disaster in New Orleans.
- I'm reading Superfudge.
363
00:21:11,496 --> 00:21:13,790
- You got to come down and deal with this.
- Don't make me do stuff.
364
00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:17,585
Patrick? Patrick!
365
00:21:17,961 --> 00:21:19,712
Crap! Guess we lost him.
366
00:21:19,838 --> 00:21:22,799
Well, nothing left to do
but finish this sentence uninterrupt...
367
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,514
- Patrick, let him go!
- Don't come any closer!
368
00:21:29,639 --> 00:21:33,601
Patrick, let him go or Marian gets it.
369
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:36,479
Nice try. But Marian's over there.
370
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:39,858
Don't hurt her!
371
00:21:41,443 --> 00:21:43,945
- Now, let him go!
- Okay! Okay!
372
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,823
- You missed!
- No, I didn't.
373
00:21:46,948 --> 00:21:50,493
That's for rolling up the damn window
when I tried to jump into the General Lee.
374
00:21:51,035 --> 00:21:54,456
I'm sorry, Lois.
I never meant to hurt anybody.
375
00:21:55,039 --> 00:21:58,710
I mean, I did mean to kill those fat guys,
but I never meant to hurt you.
376
00:21:58,835 --> 00:22:01,796
You may be very sick, Patrick,
but I love you.
377
00:22:01,963 --> 00:22:04,758
You're my brother
and you'll always be my brother.
378
00:22:04,883 --> 00:22:07,343
I have to go back to the hospital, don't I?
379
00:22:07,469 --> 00:22:09,053
Yeah. I'm afraid so.
380
00:22:09,179 --> 00:22:11,556
Hey, Patrick. Did you see
how that rock hit me in the face?
381
00:22:11,681 --> 00:22:13,516
It was like, pow, right in the kisser!
382
00:22:13,641 --> 00:22:14,809
Pow, right in the kisser!
383
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:15,894
Pow, right in the kisser!
384
00:22:17,061 --> 00:22:19,606
Stop screaming, you can't hear me.
Pow, right in the kisser!
385
00:22:19,731 --> 00:22:20,774
Pow, right in the kisser!
386
00:22:20,899 --> 00:22:21,900
Pow, right in the kisser!
387
00:22:24,611 --> 00:22:25,862
I miss Uncle Patrick.
388
00:22:25,945 --> 00:22:29,115
Don't worry, kids.
I promise we can visit him once a month.
389
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,950
We'll be his period.
390
00:22:31,659 --> 00:22:36,498
I was just upstairs and there's
a half-dead fat guy eating a dead fat guy.
391
00:22:38,917 --> 00:22:40,919
So I guess we're just looking
the other way, huh?
31397
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