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1
00:00:37,011 --> 00:00:39,889
- A-Team roll call. Face.
- Here and handsome.
2
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,684
- Murdoch?
- Here and crazy.
3
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,644
- B. A?
- I pity the fool.
4
00:00:44,727 --> 00:00:47,689
But I also suggest ways
he may better himself.
5
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:49,482
Man, this is gonna be a fun day.
6
00:00:49,607 --> 00:00:52,986
Much better than that day
I tried Tag body spray for sick cats.
7
00:00:57,407 --> 00:00:59,159
Oh, God.
8
00:00:59,284 --> 00:01:01,411
Oh, God. Oh, no.
9
00:01:01,536 --> 00:01:03,830
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
10
00:01:04,789 --> 00:01:08,751
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no.
You're cute. You're cute.
11
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,920
I don't want to pet you, though.
12
00:01:12,255 --> 00:01:13,756
Oh, all right.
13
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,760
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
14
00:01:19,095 --> 00:01:22,015
Oh, no! Okay. No, yeah, no.
This spray is not for me.
15
00:01:25,101 --> 00:01:26,811
Brian, what are you doing here?
16
00:01:26,936 --> 00:01:29,564
- Yeah. You look just like Alf.
- Peter, I'm not Alf.
17
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,357
Actually, I'm Douglas Brackman
from L. A. Law,
18
00:01:31,483 --> 00:01:34,152
but I'm really here to write an article
on the convention for the Daily Shopper.
19
00:01:34,235 --> 00:01:37,238
Well, you'll have a lot to write about
after we win the costume contest.
20
00:01:37,322 --> 00:01:39,365
Hey, check it out. Bill Cosby aerobics.
21
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:49,417
Okay, everyone. Alan Thicke will be up
in a minute to answer your hate mail.
22
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:52,170
But first, the winners
of this year's costume contest:
23
00:01:52,253 --> 00:01:54,672
The A-Team with the real black guy.
24
00:01:54,756 --> 00:01:57,383
- Sweet!
- All right! All right!
25
00:01:57,509 --> 00:01:59,969
Okay, you can stop
with that cigar now, Gary.
26
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,055
My sinuses will thank you.
27
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:12,732
Brian, I read your article
in the Daily Shopper.
28
00:02:12,857 --> 00:02:15,276
- It was wonderful.
- Don't oversell it, Lois.
29
00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,736
No, it was good.
30
00:02:16,861 --> 00:02:19,531
It almost felt like it was written
by a real writer.
31
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:21,324
I read your article, too, Brian.
32
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:23,618
It seems to me you should spend less time
working for the paper
33
00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:26,079
and more time working on that novel
you've been working on.
34
00:02:26,162 --> 00:02:27,205
You know...
35
00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:31,042
- This is Brian.
- Brian, this is Wellesley Shepherdson.
36
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:34,462
I'm calling from The New Yorker.
Perhaps you've heard of us?
37
00:02:36,005 --> 00:02:37,507
Yeah, of course I've heard of you.
38
00:02:37,632 --> 00:02:40,635
I was using the Daily Shopper
to shoo away a homeless person,
39
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:41,928
and I saw your article.
40
00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:44,472
We'd love to talk to you
about becoming a contributor.
41
00:02:44,556 --> 00:02:47,851
- Why don't you come by tomorrow?
- Wow! Yeah. That'd be great.
42
00:02:47,976 --> 00:02:49,561
All right. 2:00. I'll see you then.
43
00:02:49,644 --> 00:02:51,438
They want me to contribute
to The New Yorker.
44
00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:55,150
The New Yorker? You'll fit in there
as well as I did at Woodstock.
45
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,402
Excuse me.
It's been brought to my attention
46
00:02:57,485 --> 00:03:00,864
that a few bad apples out there
are smoking marijuana.
47
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,575
I've got news for you, my friend.
Marijuana's illegal.
48
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:06,035
Not cool. All right then.
49
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:15,170
- You suck!
- Learn the rules!
50
00:03:17,505 --> 00:03:20,800
And this is our writers' lounge where
you'll meet some of our contributors.
51
00:03:20,925 --> 00:03:22,886
- Fielding Wellingtonsworth.
- Hello.
52
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:25,180
- Livingston Winstofford.
- Yes.
53
00:03:25,263 --> 00:03:28,349
- Amelia Bedford Furthington Chesterhill.
- Good day.
54
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,351
And James William Bottomtooth.
55
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,731
Everyone, this is Brian,
our newest contributor.
56
00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:36,232
Hi, there. How's it going?
57
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,276
- Would you like some tea?
- Cigar?
58
00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:39,527
Brandy?
59
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:44,032
- No. I'm good, thanks.
- We read your article, Brian.
60
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:48,536
Your study in post-modern American
subcultures was quite illuminating.
61
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:51,623
Oh, wow, thanks. That really
means a lot coming from you guys.
62
00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:55,752
I'm sorry?
63
00:03:59,589 --> 00:04:00,632
Yes?
64
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,389
- Hey, is there a bathroom around here?
- Yes, yes. Follow me.
65
00:04:12,102 --> 00:04:13,103
Where are the toilets?
66
00:04:13,228 --> 00:04:15,230
Oh, no one at The New Yorker
has an anus.
67
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,235
Peter, it's been two weeks.
68
00:04:20,318 --> 00:04:23,071
Don't you think it's time to take off
your A-Team costume?
69
00:04:23,154 --> 00:04:24,572
Yeah, I guess so.
70
00:04:24,656 --> 00:04:27,867
But part of me wished we could just be
the A-Team forever, you know?
71
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:32,122
This damn chair keeps wobbling.
I think one of the legs is short.
72
00:04:32,247 --> 00:04:36,042
- Lance, I told you to fix that chair!
- I checked it earlier. It seems fine.
73
00:04:38,586 --> 00:04:41,381
Oh, that chair's always like that.
Here, we'll help you.
74
00:04:46,261 --> 00:04:47,428
Wow, thanks!
75
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:50,390
Hey, if we could fix that wobbly chair,
76
00:04:50,473 --> 00:04:52,976
think of what else we could do
for our community.
77
00:04:53,101 --> 00:04:54,144
Cleveland's right.
78
00:04:54,269 --> 00:04:57,397
It seems it's our destiny
to be the A-Team after all.
79
00:04:58,648 --> 00:05:00,525
We're the A-Team! Yeah!
80
00:05:01,276 --> 00:05:05,363
In 2005, a group of local
misfits won a costume contest
81
00:05:05,447 --> 00:05:07,323
at an '80s TV convention.
82
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:10,618
These men promptly returned home
and drank some beer.
83
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:13,204
Today they survive as soldiers of fortune.
84
00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:15,915
If you have a problem,
if no one else can help,
85
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,044
and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire The A-Team.
86
00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:01,002
So I said to him,
"Brown liquor before Labor Day?
87
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,879
"What, do you work for Esquire? '"
88
00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:07,300
Oh, Brian, how droll!
We'll have to put that into a cartoon.
89
00:06:07,425 --> 00:06:10,303
Or as we call it,
an illustrated laughing square.
90
00:06:10,386 --> 00:06:11,805
Wow. You went to Harvard, huh?
91
00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:13,973
I'm an Ivy League man myself.
I went to Brown.
92
00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:17,644
My incarcerated business partner's
retarded gay niece went to Brown.
93
00:06:17,769 --> 00:06:21,481
- What year did you graduate?
- Well, I mean, I didn't technically graduate.
94
00:06:21,606 --> 00:06:23,983
You're a college dropout?
95
00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:26,694
Brian, The New Yorker
does not employ your kind.
96
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,613
You, sir, are fired!
97
00:06:42,585 --> 00:06:45,255
Oh, Brian, I can't believe they fired you.
98
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,757
How come you never told us
you dropped out of college?
99
00:06:47,882 --> 00:06:50,552
I saw an after-school special about that.
100
00:06:50,635 --> 00:06:53,471
It didn't work out too well
for Kristy McNichol.
101
00:06:53,596 --> 00:06:55,265
But then again, nothing did.
102
00:06:55,390 --> 00:06:59,686
I was only one course shy of graduating
and I just cracked under the pressure.
103
00:06:59,769 --> 00:07:02,188
And now it just cost me
the best job I ever had.
104
00:07:02,272 --> 00:07:05,650
Well, don't take it too hard.
You're not the first person to get fired.
105
00:07:05,775 --> 00:07:09,988
Look, Louis, the French people really want
to thank you for your services as king.
106
00:07:10,071 --> 00:07:14,200
But it's just not working out
and we've decided to go another way.
107
00:07:14,284 --> 00:07:15,243
So...
108
00:07:16,411 --> 00:07:17,620
Yeah.
109
00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:21,207
I just heard the dog got fired.
Did I miss it? Did he cry yet?
110
00:07:21,332 --> 00:07:24,544
Oh, come on, dog. Cry for me.
There, there you are.
111
00:07:24,627 --> 00:07:28,381
Oh, yeah. Cry for Stewie.
Life isn't what you thought it would be.
112
00:07:28,506 --> 00:07:31,885
Boy, I'll tell you, not graduating
from college has haunted me for years.
113
00:07:31,968 --> 00:07:35,972
But, Brian, if you only had one class left,
why don't you just go back and finish?
114
00:07:36,097 --> 00:07:39,309
- Plenty of people do that.
- You know, Lois, that's not a bad idea.
115
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,187
Well, this is boring.
Let's go see what Meg is up to.
116
00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:51,696
Hello, Meg.
117
00:08:16,304 --> 00:08:17,931
Stewie? What the hell are you doing here?
118
00:08:18,014 --> 00:08:20,517
Are you kidding? I couldn't miss
watching you crash and burn
119
00:08:20,642 --> 00:08:22,685
in this misguided attempt
to finish college.
120
00:08:22,811 --> 00:08:23,937
Look, you're not staying.
121
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,106
I'm gonna call Lois
and have her pick you up right now.
122
00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:30,485
Hi, I'm your roommate Caleb.
I like cutting myself. I bleed a lot.
123
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,153
Could I have the top bunk?
124
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:36,699
He already has a roommate. Me.
We're a couple of crazy college kooks.
125
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:40,161
For example, we're about to make
a hilarious answering-machine message.
126
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:43,289
You've reached Stewie and Brian.
We're not here right now.
127
00:08:43,414 --> 00:08:46,918
And if this is Mom, send money
because we're college students
128
00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:49,629
and we need money
for books and highlighters,
129
00:08:49,754 --> 00:08:51,631
and Ramen Noodles,
130
00:08:51,756 --> 00:08:55,844
and condoms for sexual relations
with our classmates.
131
00:08:59,222 --> 00:09:01,766
All right, fine. You can stay if you want.
But what do I tell Lois?
132
00:09:01,891 --> 00:09:04,978
You don't have to tell her anything.
Gary Coleman owed me a favor.
133
00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:07,772
Stewie, you want
some more strained peas?
134
00:09:07,897 --> 00:09:09,482
What you talking about, vile woman?
135
00:09:11,693 --> 00:09:13,695
There she is, boys. All done.
136
00:09:13,778 --> 00:09:17,782
The A-Team is ready to help
rid the world of injustice and evil.
137
00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:19,534
Yeah!
138
00:09:20,702 --> 00:09:22,871
- All right!
- Yeah!
139
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,343
Let's do it!
140
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,271
This is Advanced Physics, right?
141
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,900
I have a right to defend myself
as a woman!
142
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,318
No means no!
143
00:09:53,401 --> 00:09:55,904
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- I'm sorry.
144
00:09:55,987 --> 00:09:59,365
I just came from that orientation seminar
about college dating.
145
00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:03,244
Hi, I'm Kelly McGillis.
And I'm here to talk to you about rape.
146
00:10:03,328 --> 00:10:06,289
Ladies, look to your left.
Now look to your right.
147
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:09,209
Statistics indicate
that both of those men will rape you.
148
00:10:10,794 --> 00:10:12,962
- I'm not gonna rape you.
- I might.
149
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,174
Good morning, class.
150
00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:17,634
Hey, can I borrow a pencil?
151
00:10:17,759 --> 00:10:21,095
Now, now, it looks like
we have a comedian.
152
00:10:21,179 --> 00:10:23,264
I wasn't making a joke. I was just asking...
153
00:10:23,348 --> 00:10:27,310
Now, Louie Anderson,
our first test is Friday.
154
00:10:27,435 --> 00:10:30,897
And if you don't pass,
you are not in the class.
155
00:10:33,108 --> 00:10:35,568
Fluffy! Fluffy, come down!
156
00:10:35,652 --> 00:10:38,113
Oh, Mommy, Daddy,
what are we gonna do?
157
00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:43,034
Don't you worry, sad little girl.
158
00:10:43,118 --> 00:10:45,662
The A-team
will get your beloved kitty down.
159
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:46,955
Ready, boys?
160
00:10:59,676 --> 00:11:01,678
No need to thank us. It's what we do.
161
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,763
Who the hell are you guys?
162
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:06,516
We're the A-Team.
163
00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,190
Get off my property!
164
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,192
Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
Let's go.
165
00:11:21,698 --> 00:11:22,824
What do you think?
166
00:11:22,907 --> 00:11:26,202
I got this at the school store.
It's an M.C. Escher drawing.
167
00:11:26,327 --> 00:11:28,913
I think it's called Crazy Stairs.
168
00:11:29,038 --> 00:11:30,832
Look, Stewie,
I got to finish this assignment
169
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,667
or I'm gonna fail this class.
170
00:11:34,252 --> 00:11:35,545
- All done.
- What?
171
00:11:35,670 --> 00:11:37,714
Stewie, I can't use this. It'd be cheating.
172
00:11:37,839 --> 00:11:40,175
Fine. Listen, I'll be out on the quad.
173
00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:43,178
Do you know what I've discovered
about myself since I've been in college?
174
00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:46,306
I am so all about Ultimate Frisbee.
175
00:11:56,858 --> 00:11:59,444
Oh, no! Did that hit Crazy Stairs?
176
00:12:02,864 --> 00:12:05,074
I've graded your assignments.
177
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:09,746
Clearly there is only one person here
who understands the material.
178
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,372
Brian Griffin.
179
00:12:13,124 --> 00:12:14,959
Just got lucky, I guess.
180
00:12:15,043 --> 00:12:18,213
No, Brian. I underestimated you.
181
00:12:18,296 --> 00:12:21,716
Here, let me put a smiley face
on your test.
182
00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:25,136
May I borrow your pen?
183
00:12:25,762 --> 00:12:29,599
You... Do you want me
to just stick it in there?
184
00:12:29,724 --> 00:12:30,767
Yes.
185
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,986
There. You have earned that.
186
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,164
Hey, what's up, B-rie?
187
00:12:53,248 --> 00:12:55,750
Stewie, just give me a beer.
I've had a bad day.
188
00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:58,837
I cheated on that assignment.
189
00:12:58,962 --> 00:13:02,715
You know, I haven't taken a shower
since we got here. I totally reek, man.
190
00:13:02,841 --> 00:13:04,509
- Check this out.
- Come on!
191
00:13:04,592 --> 00:13:05,885
Tell me that's not epic.
192
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:08,888
You know, I didn't come back to college
just to cheat my way through.
193
00:13:08,972 --> 00:13:10,432
I wanted to do it on my own.
194
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,642
Will you relax? Plenty of people cheat.
195
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,894
Once again, Ashlee Simpson.
196
00:13:38,168 --> 00:13:39,419
Oh, my God! Mom, look.
197
00:13:39,502 --> 00:13:42,088
They're tearing down Roger Williams Park
to build a strip mall.
198
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:45,675
Oh, no. I take Stewie there all the time,
don't I, sweetie?
199
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,635
Victory shall be mine.
200
00:13:47,719 --> 00:13:50,096
That's where I go to make out
with my boyfriend...
201
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:52,974
Darren Mitchelstork.
202
00:13:53,391 --> 00:13:56,102
Yup, he's the chairman
203
00:13:56,186 --> 00:14:00,231
of the soccer ball team.
204
00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:01,608
Well, all right.
205
00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:05,236
Make sure you practice safe sex, Meg.
206
00:14:09,157 --> 00:14:10,825
You little liar!
207
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:14,788
Roger Williams Park?
That sounds like a job for the A-Team.
208
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:19,417
- Hi, Dad.
- Go to your room.
209
00:14:19,501 --> 00:14:20,710
Okay.
210
00:14:29,344 --> 00:14:30,553
Ah, Brian.
211
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:34,641
I am glad you could come
to my faculty cocktail party.
212
00:14:34,766 --> 00:14:37,352
Let me introduce my wife Helen.
213
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:41,856
Damn it, Steve. You forgot
to put out the cheese and crackers.
214
00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:45,860
Helen, don't start with me
in front of our guests.
215
00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:50,865
Do you think I like hitting you?
216
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,827
I am sorry you had to see that.
217
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:56,704
Look, sir, I really need to confess
something to you.
218
00:14:56,788 --> 00:14:59,833
- That assignment I turned in...
- You know, Brian,
219
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:02,794
before you came along,
I was so depressed,
220
00:15:02,877 --> 00:15:05,338
I was planning to kill myself.
221
00:15:05,421 --> 00:15:07,507
But you have inspired me.
222
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:11,678
If you can learn, maybe one day I can walk.
223
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:14,472
Now, what was it you wanted to say?
224
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:16,975
Nothing.
225
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:21,062
You were supposed to get potato chips,
you jackass.
226
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:25,650
Damn it, Helen.
Get the hell off my back or so help me.
227
00:15:25,775 --> 00:15:27,318
So help me.
228
00:15:27,777 --> 00:15:30,738
Don't worry.
I hear they have great makeup sex.
229
00:15:31,614 --> 00:15:33,783
- That feels so good.
- Oh, yeah.
230
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:36,035
- Hello.
- Like that?
231
00:15:36,161 --> 00:15:37,620
Oh, baby.
232
00:15:37,745 --> 00:15:39,914
I thought about this all day.
233
00:15:43,835 --> 00:15:47,630
Not so fast. You are hurting me.
234
00:15:52,635 --> 00:15:55,388
- All right. All right.
- Stewie, come on. We're going home.
235
00:15:55,472 --> 00:15:57,056
What the devil are you talking about?
236
00:15:57,140 --> 00:15:58,475
My final exam is tomorrow
237
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,518
and the only way I'm gonna pass
is if I cheat.
238
00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:03,271
And if I do that, what was the point
of coming back to college?
239
00:16:03,354 --> 00:16:06,649
We can't leave. It's almost halftime
and we all pooped in the tuba.
240
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,738
Okay, we can go.
241
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:27,378
Hey, what are you guys doing?
This is a job site.
242
00:16:27,462 --> 00:16:29,714
No, it's not! It's Roger Williams Park,
243
00:16:29,839 --> 00:16:32,509
and we're here to stop you
from destroying it.
244
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,803
Whoa! Whoa!
What are you gonna do? Kill us?
245
00:16:35,512 --> 00:16:37,388
Oh, no, no. We wouldn't do that.
246
00:16:37,514 --> 00:16:40,934
We'll probably just shoot the ground
all around you to make you scared.
247
00:16:41,059 --> 00:16:42,894
And then you'll jump in your truck
and speed off,
248
00:16:42,977 --> 00:16:44,771
hit something and do a wicked flip
through the air.
249
00:16:44,896 --> 00:16:46,064
- Well, that'd kill us.
- No, no.
250
00:16:46,189 --> 00:16:48,817
You guys will just roll out of the vehicle,
and dust yourself off
251
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,777
and lumber back to your hideout,
defeated.
252
00:16:50,902 --> 00:16:54,155
Buddy, I had a cousin got in
a fender bender at five miles an hour,
253
00:16:54,239 --> 00:16:56,533
messed his neck up,
he's got partial numbness.
254
00:16:56,658 --> 00:16:58,535
He's just not the same guy anymore.
255
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:01,037
- Was he wearing his safety belt?
- Thank God.
256
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:04,374
Yeah, 'cause, you know, I know this guy
who took his car in for an oil change.
257
00:17:04,499 --> 00:17:07,377
And then later he got in a wreck,
and the airbag didn't deploy.
258
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,671
Turns out they stole it,
sold it for spare parts.
259
00:17:09,754 --> 00:17:11,297
- No way!
- It happens.
260
00:17:11,422 --> 00:17:14,843
They call them chop shops.
Makes it harder to track stolen parts.
261
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:16,469
Jeez, that is awful.
262
00:17:17,053 --> 00:17:18,805
Well, look,
you guys got a lot of work to do.
263
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:20,432
We should probably get out of your hair.
264
00:17:20,515 --> 00:17:21,975
Take it easy, guys.
265
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,686
Don't forget
to put your tools away.
266
00:17:27,063 --> 00:17:29,816
- We blew it, didn't we?
- Boy, you can say that again.
267
00:17:29,941 --> 00:17:32,360
We were right there,
ready to save Roger Williams Park,
268
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,696
and we got sidetracked
by idle conversation.
269
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,573
We're a terrible A-Team.
270
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,450
You know what the problem is?
We didn't stay focused.
271
00:17:38,575 --> 00:17:41,077
That's exactly it. I was gonna...
We didn't stay focused.
272
00:17:41,202 --> 00:17:43,955
I mean, we were right there, you know?
And then we just...
273
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,332
Somehow we just... I mean...
274
00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:49,169
Well, it's already been said.
We didn't stay focused.
275
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:53,006
And now back to The Facts of Life.
276
00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:55,008
Hey, Mrs. Garrett,
can I ask you something?
277
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,426
What is it, Jo?
278
00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:59,429
Is it a problem if your penis
and your vagina touch each other?
279
00:17:59,554 --> 00:18:00,555
What?
280
00:18:00,638 --> 00:18:02,182
Well, I try to keep them separated,
281
00:18:02,307 --> 00:18:05,101
but I woke up this morning
and they were sort of together.
282
00:18:05,226 --> 00:18:06,936
I just didn't know. Is that okay?
283
00:18:07,061 --> 00:18:10,064
- You have both?
- Well, yeah. Doesn't everybody?
284
00:18:10,148 --> 00:18:11,441
No!
285
00:18:12,275 --> 00:18:15,570
- Brian, what are you doing home?
- I couldn't do it, Lois.
286
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,947
You know, I thought
I'd be able to finish this time.
287
00:18:18,072 --> 00:18:21,242
But I just don't have what it takes
to be a college graduate.
288
00:18:21,326 --> 00:18:25,038
But you're so close.
I mean, your final exam's tomorrow.
289
00:18:25,163 --> 00:18:27,707
You can't just give up.
You could study tonight.
290
00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:31,503
- And I think if you really work at it...
- Lois, it's over. All right?
291
00:18:31,586 --> 00:18:34,339
- I'm not going.
- Well, whatever you say.
292
00:18:35,089 --> 00:18:37,175
Hey, what's in this closet?
293
00:18:37,759 --> 00:18:40,720
- What are you doing?
- Well, my, my!
294
00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:43,014
Mr. Hoover's come to visit.
295
00:18:43,098 --> 00:18:45,058
I don't want to see Mr. Hoover.
296
00:18:45,141 --> 00:18:48,061
I wonder if Mr. Hoover has anything to say
about all this?
297
00:18:48,186 --> 00:18:51,314
Lois, this is not funny.
I really don't want to see Mr...
298
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,109
Stop! Stop it! Stop it!
299
00:18:54,192 --> 00:18:56,444
It's scaring me! Leave me alone!
300
00:18:56,945 --> 00:18:58,404
It's so loud!
301
00:18:58,863 --> 00:19:01,449
Stop! Stop it!
All right. Okay. I'll study!
302
00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:04,327
- I'll help you if you want.
- No, thanks, Lois.
303
00:19:04,452 --> 00:19:06,329
There's only one person who can help me.
304
00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:38,236
Drago!
305
00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:45,452
- You know the exam's in three hours?
- Crap! All we've done is work out.
306
00:19:45,535 --> 00:19:46,661
- We should study.
- Right.
307
00:19:49,747 --> 00:19:51,916
Peter, you're not wearing
your costume anymore.
308
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:53,334
What's the point?
309
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:56,713
You know, I thought I could help people
with this whole A-Team thing.
310
00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:01,009
But it turns out I'm as useless as that
nude Playboy spread of Debbie Gibson.
311
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:03,762
It's like, yeah, she's naked
but who gives a shit?
312
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,639
Oh, my God, I overslept.
My final exam's in 20 minutes.
313
00:20:06,765 --> 00:20:08,808
Brian, you'll never make it.
314
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:13,813
Unless there was some kind of team
of people who could get you there in time.
315
00:20:14,439 --> 00:20:17,066
Peter, do you know anybody like that?
316
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:30,205
You may start your exams
317
00:20:32,373 --> 00:20:33,500
now.
318
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:42,759
- Well, how'd you do?
- I failed.
319
00:20:42,884 --> 00:20:44,844
- What? You failed?
- Yup.
320
00:20:44,928 --> 00:20:46,763
Then what the hell are you smiling for?
321
00:20:46,888 --> 00:20:49,516
Because I took it all the way.
I didn't give up on myself.
322
00:20:49,599 --> 00:20:51,309
And I didn't cheat.
323
00:20:52,644 --> 00:20:55,188
- Wow. You probably should have.
- Yeah. I was just gonna say that.
324
00:20:55,313 --> 00:20:57,774
Yeah, you would have probably
been better off.
325
00:20:58,483 --> 00:21:01,611
Look, it doesn't matter how it turned out.
I finished what I started,
326
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,489
which means I have my pride.
And that's something.
327
00:21:05,115 --> 00:21:06,908
- No, it's not!
- Yeah! Are you out of your mind?
328
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,244
I mean, what the... I don't understand that.
What is that like?
329
00:21:09,327 --> 00:21:11,412
- You're such a loser.
- I hate you!
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