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1
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,819
Why did Frankie call us here?
2
00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:08,439
I don't know. Some financial prospect
that could put the school in the black.
3
00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,799
Which always confuses me,
because black means bad.
4
00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,519
When it's a cat or banana
5
00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,819
or a shirt that makes you think
you've lost more weight than you have.
6
00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:20,969
Nice save. Sorry about that, man.
7
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,719
Hm? What?
8
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,269
Did someone use the word black and now
you want me to give you the all-clear?
9
00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:28,139
Please tell me that won't
be my role in this group.
10
00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:30,999
I have a brain the size of Jupiter.
I'm nobody's fourth Ghostbuster.
11
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,749
No, I promise, this group
does not think that way.
12
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:38,209
In fact, before you got here, they had two.
13
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,190
No.
14
00:00:39,191 --> 00:00:42,659
They had to often step back
15
00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:45,450
and remind themselves that they
weren't one collective ray of light.
16
00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:49,009
Is this a cult? Are you gonna eat me?
17
00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:51,809
No, we're fine, I lived in New York.
18
00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:54,059
Speaking of which, mid-terms are over
19
00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:56,809
and I was thinking we could
have a party at our apartment.
20
00:00:56,810 --> 00:00:58,109
Abed? Annie?
21
00:00:58,110 --> 00:01:01,149
You could have a party.
You can't have a rager.
22
00:01:01,150 --> 00:01:02,729
We have a rule against
more than eight guests.
23
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:07,149
Eight guests? That's not, not
a rager. That's not a party.
24
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:07,830
Nice grammar.
25
00:01:07,831 --> 00:01:12,030
Okay, you have a rule against parties,
which I'm sure is a world record
26
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,539
for uptightness, so let's celebrate that.
27
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:17,179
I'll bring the booze and
more than eight guests.
28
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,490
Britta, you just moved in. You
don't even have a real bedroom.
29
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:22,619
You're a coucher.
30
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:26,239
She sleeps on the couch. She's a coucher.
31
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,719
- So I get nothing?
- You get a couch. You get a home.
32
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,719
There's no government to overthrow here.
33
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,490
I'm not overthrowing.
34
00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:35,279
- You're overthrowing if I say so!
- Nice irony.
35
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,490
Can we focus on this?
Because now this is happening.
36
00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:42,169
Hello everyone.
37
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:47,569
Don't be alarmed, I'm attending our meeting
using what's called a telepresence robot.
38
00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:49,499
I resent the idea that this would alarm me.
39
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:53,469
These bots have been
revolutionizing the private sector,
40
00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:57,010
and now the state of Colorado
has come to us with a unique...
41
00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:05,509
Proposition.
42
00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:06,630
Seamless, Frankie.
43
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,829
The Department of Corrections will
pay us money, if we allow a small,
44
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:14,690
manageable number of inmates
to attend Greendale using these.
45
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,109
Now, hold on.
46
00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:19,369
Are you trying to tell me that
prisoners would use these things,
47
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:21,179
to come to our school?
48
00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:22,489
That's the black guy in every sci-fi movie.
To come to our school?
49
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:23,490
To come to our school?
50
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:24,950
I'll allow it.
51
00:02:24,951 --> 00:02:29,099
Wait. Prisoners? Rolling
around the school with students?
52
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,389
They'll rape us. They'll rape us all.
53
00:02:31,390 --> 00:02:37,309
They can't rape you, because their
genitals will be hundreds of miles away.
54
00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:38,310
From each other?
55
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,719
This is an attempt at rehabilitation.
56
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,800
The prison is looking for
ways to expose their inmates
57
00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:47,429
to a real world academic environment.
58
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,839
Okay, I've heard enough.
59
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,019
I'm responsible for this school. I won't have
hardened criminals exposing themselves to it.
60
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,989
That's the response they're
getting from everyone,
61
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:59,459
which is why the state is
offering a $300,000 incentive.
62
00:02:59,460 --> 00:03:03,119
We'll do it. Dean, do it.
$300,000 for the school.
63
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,749
- They're convicts.
- They're iPads on sticks.
64
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:09,229
As someone that got paid to
keep people out, let me tell you.
65
00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,249
Hey guys, I'm moon walking.
66
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:15,169
Not every bad guy ends up in prison,
and not every prisoner is a bad guy.
67
00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:17,439
- Who's this guy?
- 300,000!
68
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,030
Oh, yeah.
69
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,739
Jeffrey you know, ordinarily
I'd do anything you say.
70
00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:23,779
Do it. Let's do it.
71
00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:28,120
- Oh, I walked into that one.
- Gross, who farted? Oh wait, nevermind.
72
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,179
I'm so glad you talked me into this.
73
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:07,479
$300,000, look at us running
the school together, now.
74
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,789
If I'm running the school, pay me more.
75
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:13,879
What if I made you Professor Emeritus?
76
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,069
We could have a little ceremony.
77
00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:16,430
- Does it pay more?
- No.
78
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,509
Then give me what the ceremony would cost.
79
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:24,809
Okay, folks welcome. I believe
you all have maps of our campus.
80
00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:26,809
This is your Dean, Dean.
81
00:04:26,810 --> 00:04:31,759
Now, if I see any race gangs
forming, I will have no choice
82
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,389
but to adjust the contrast on your
screens until you all look the same.
83
00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:42,309
And we have a very strict no bullying
policy that relates directly to me,
84
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,489
so be nice, to me.
85
00:04:44,490 --> 00:04:45,270
No need to be nervous.
86
00:04:45,271 --> 00:04:47,989
We're all here because we've
done some bad stuff, but...
87
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:49,789
We ain't here to do anymore.
88
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,769
That's very folksy, thank you.
89
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,569
So I guess just...
90
00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:57,240
Roll forth and rehabilitate.
91
00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:08,340
_
92
00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,429
Alright, knock it off.
93
00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:17,629
No one at this school should
pick on any class of people,
94
00:05:17,630 --> 00:05:20,429
it's like watching
magicians bully jugglers.
95
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:22,479
- What's your name?
- Willy.
96
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,480
Willy. Take a seat.
97
00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:29,729
I'm Mr. Jeff Winger. I
teach fundamentals of law.
98
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,720
Does that mean you can
teach me how to get out?
99
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,760
Probably not.
100
00:05:33,761 --> 00:05:37,559
I was a phony lawyer, I got caught,
and now I teach a pretty phony class.
101
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:38,340
It's an automatic A.
102
00:05:38,341 --> 00:05:43,079
But, you might learn a thing or two.
And I mean literally a thing or two.
103
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,080
Cool?
104
00:05:44,081 --> 00:05:45,710
Hey, and they call me the criminal.
105
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:48,140
Trust me.
106
00:05:48,141 --> 00:05:51,940
I know the main difference
between us is an orange jumpsuit.
107
00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:54,230
You have an iPad.
108
00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,220
Yeah, and I'm a murderer.
109
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:05,619
Now, now, don't worry. I ain't proud of it.
110
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:06,929
Just don't hide it.
111
00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:09,759
You know, once you take another man's life,
the least you can do is carry it with you.
112
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:14,550
Are you carrying any murders, Mr. Winger?
113
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,179
I am not.
114
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,869
I hear you have to have strong
feelings for someone you kill.
115
00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:24,580
I try to reserve that stuff for myself.
116
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,729
All right, that's enough law.
117
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:33,749
Who wants to watch Planet Earth?
118
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:39,449
Oh, look, ice worlds, oh the majesty.
119
00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:44,000
Rhinos and elephants and flamingos.
120
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:48,419
Hey, Abed.
121
00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:51,469
Haven't you been in our
apartment longer than Annie?
122
00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:53,539
Oh, yeah, I remember
when she first moved in.
123
00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,190
That was when I was so worried about pacing
124
00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,279
I was constantly laying
groundwork for pop back gags.
125
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,489
Hey, Annie.
126
00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:01,820
I'd like to make this moment worth popping
back to from some point in the future.
127
00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,410
I don't know what that means.
128
00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:05,160
There.
129
00:07:05,161 --> 00:07:06,859
Don't worry. It will pay off.
130
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,139
Hey, Troy.
131
00:07:08,140 --> 00:07:10,579
I'm glad I kicked that habit
it was getting a little joyless.
132
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,569
What I'm saying is by Annie's logic.
133
00:07:12,570 --> 00:07:14,969
You're saying I was first in the
apartment, so I could overrule Annie
134
00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:17,109
and let you have a party, but I
don't get anything out of parties.
135
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:19,969
They're like conventions for every subject
too boring to have their own convention.
136
00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:21,579
And instead of Joss
Whedon the police show up.
137
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:24,449
The police also showed up when you
made Leonard take off his clothes
138
00:07:24,450 --> 00:07:25,889
and filled the livingroom with lizards.
139
00:07:25,890 --> 00:07:29,250
That was for my movie Reverse Godzilla. I
also thought it might make a good pop back.
140
00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:33,090
I make movies, Britta.
141
00:07:33,091 --> 00:07:34,729
I make movies, Annie makes
rules, you make parties.
142
00:07:34,730 --> 00:07:37,730
Her rules cancel out your parties, but
I'm not involved, I just make movies.
143
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:59,629
Yeah, evening, Mr. Winger.
144
00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:03,549
Willy. You're here late.
145
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:07,779
Yeah, taking some night classes,
trying to take full advantage, you know?
146
00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,750
Is this your car? It's nice.
147
00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:13,529
Looks like you're taking
full advantage, too.
148
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,239
Yeah. It's a real dream gig.
149
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,899
Hm, sarcasm.
150
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,419
Slick words.
151
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:19,939
Cock of the walk.
152
00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:22,159
What are categories in Prison Jeopardy?
153
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,859
Hey, you mind helping
me out with something?
154
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:28,539
I think I lost a ball-bearing
that rolled down them stairs.
155
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:29,569
Lost a ball-bearing?
156
00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:30,270
Mm-hm.
157
00:08:30,271 --> 00:08:32,109
Down them stairs.
158
00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:33,809
You want me to look down these stairs?
159
00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:37,390
Okay.
160
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:46,950
Did you just try to murder me?
161
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,550
Are you trying to murder me?
162
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,490
You're trying as hard as
you can right now to kill me.
163
00:09:02,590 --> 00:09:07,380
Okay, well I guess I'll
see you in class tomorrow?
164
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,599
Guy who tried to murder me.
165
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:15,069
Oh I'll see you in class
tomorrow, Mr. Winger.
166
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:18,819
I will see you.
167
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:20,050
Yeah, I'll see you.
168
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,120
Oy vey.
169
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:26,929
Oh, I'll see you tomorrow...
170
00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:28,580
Mr. Winger.
171
00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:41,869
So we are having a party?
172
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:45,029
Annie. You know me better than
that. This is all set dressing.
173
00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:49,079
I'm helping Abed produce his next film.
174
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:53,459
Britta's Party, based on a
true story of fun and no rules.
175
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,010
Hm.
176
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:55,469
Fade in before a party.
177
00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:59,279
People start coming
over, way more than eight.
178
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:00,399
It becomes a rager.
179
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,649
Everyone has a great time and parties
like there's no tomorrow, then they leave.
180
00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:05,699
Sophia cleans up.
181
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,490
The end.
182
00:10:06,491 --> 00:10:08,889
We're very interested in
you for the role of Sophia.
183
00:10:08,890 --> 00:10:10,969
I see the real time stakes
of Can't Hardly Wait,
184
00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:12,670
the subversive raunch of Risky Business,
185
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,800
and the mumbly pointlessness
of everything after 2003.
186
00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:16,409
- Yeah, but real.
- Totally real.
187
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:18,309
The first movie to capture
the heart of a real party.
188
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:20,049
The sensation that there's no tomorrow.
189
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,749
The transcendence of time and mortality.
190
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:24,109
Bravo, Britta, very clever.
191
00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:27,859
Me? Don't look at me, I could never
green-light a project this big.
192
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,019
I moved in third. I'm a coucher.
193
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:34,230
- She's a coucher!
- I sleep on a couch!
194
00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:39,060
Okay!
195
00:10:39,061 --> 00:10:43,019
- Good night.
- Good night.
196
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:47,150
Aw.
197
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,630
Before this is over, you'll
beg for my forgiveness.
198
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,870
So, we have an ultimately low stakes,
199
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,359
but nonetheless creepy problem
with one of our Wi-felons.
200
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,179
You mean, Willy?
201
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:11,429
Yes, what else did he do?
202
00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:13,169
Did he steal a driver's ed simulator?
203
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:15,389
Did he start an illegal game
of solitaire on his face?
204
00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:16,780
Jeffrey, he's in the room.
205
00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:19,259
Hey, Mr Winger.
206
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,699
Why is he on your laptop?
207
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,969
He came to me for a chat this morning.
208
00:11:22,970 --> 00:11:27,109
He's here for an education Jeffrey,
and he reports to the prison.
209
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:30,489
Could you do a little more in
your class than show Planet Earth?
210
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,869
You're telling on me?
211
00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:34,029
He tried to murder me last night.
212
00:11:34,030 --> 00:11:34,960
What?
213
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,740
Now hold on.
214
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:40,559
Now where I'm from, you
accuse somebody of something,
215
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,699
you better have evidence,
or he better be a minority.
216
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:44,909
He tried to push me downstairs.
217
00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:45,979
That's ridiculous.
218
00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:47,229
It was ridiculous,
219
00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:49,759
but this is not someone who should
be interacting with students.
220
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,999
And you're seriously
taking his word over mine?
221
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,969
Well, have you ever killed anyone, Jeffrey?
222
00:11:53,970 --> 00:11:58,799
Why would an actual murderer wanna
kill a community college teacher?
223
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,019
Now, I'm not worth murdering?
224
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,729
Why would I lie? Isn't that your specialty?
225
00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:04,169
You're a raconteur.
226
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:07,359
You charm people with
your slick and fancy words.
227
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,149
Willy.
228
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:10,819
Willy just charms them.
229
00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:12,449
Oh, my God.
230
00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:14,069
I should leave you two alone.
231
00:12:14,070 --> 00:12:15,379
I've got classes.
232
00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:16,650
Some of us came here to work.
233
00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:23,319
Jealousy isn't a crime Jeffrey, but
costing the school $300,000 will be.
234
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,540
So be a good teacher,
especially when Willy's watching.
235
00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:35,239
Which is why they call it yard juice.
236
00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,129
Next question.
237
00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:38,599
Do you get to pick your number?
238
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,929
Does anyone ever get their
head stuck between the bars?
239
00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:43,359
We call it getting metal ears.
240
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:44,220
Oh hi, Mr. Winger.
241
00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:46,849
Thought we'd sneak in a little
learning before the movie.
242
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:50,439
Well, there's no movie today, so
everyone roll to your seat areas.
243
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,319
Yes sir.
244
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,859
So, law.
245
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,089
Law is simply put,
246
00:12:57,090 --> 00:13:01,469
an agreement we all make to do our
best to stay out of each others way.
247
00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:04,389
Is there a more technical
definition, Mr Winger?
248
00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:06,319
Well, I wouldn't know Willy.
249
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,729
I don't cotton much to
fancy words and book study.
250
00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,829
It's not how I got to where I am.
251
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,599
How did you get to be
where you are, Mr. Winger?
252
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,150
Where were you born?
253
00:13:15,151 --> 00:13:19,570
Mr. Winger was born in dirt, Willy.
254
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,509
Same as you I'm sure.
255
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:27,579
And I had my face held down in
that dirt by the kings of dirt and
256
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:32,559
now they're still there,
ruling over dirt and I got out.
257
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,799
By talking, by lying.
258
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:40,420
Well, in case you hadn't noticed
it seems to beat being a bully.
259
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:46,289
Garrett?
260
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,970
Mr. Winger, when did you stop being funny?
261
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,459
I, I mean, am I wrong?
262
00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:55,309
Or does he seem really intense here?
263
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:58,179
Now, you're born in the
dirt, you'll die in the dirt.
264
00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:00,180
Kings of the, who are
the kings of the dirt.
265
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,509
Everyone's so charmed by him
because he's a violent criminal.
266
00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:10,459
But he's also a petty sociopath,
and the more I try to point that out,
267
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:11,599
the pettier I look.
268
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,159
Weren't you the one that
championed this program?
269
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:18,159
Shouldn't have worn that petard if
you didn't want to be hoisted by it.
270
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,829
What do you think the expression hoisted
by your own petard is referencing?
271
00:14:21,830 --> 00:14:26,019
I guess I just assume that in the
old days a petard was a special outfit
272
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:29,550
like a leotard with a lot of
fancy buckles and loops on it.
273
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,829
And that rich people would wear them
when they were feeling especially smug.
274
00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:37,689
But then poor people could tie a rope
to one of the loops and hoist them
275
00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:42,339
up a pole and then let them dangle
there as punishment for being cocky.
276
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,050
Never look it up.
277
00:14:43,051 --> 00:14:44,859
Your explanation is way better.
278
00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:48,969
But also the next time a friend
comes by with their problems,
279
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:51,169
maybe lay off the I told you so's.
280
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,439
Jeff, we're having a Britta party here.
281
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,480
Could you be a little
bit less of a buzz kill?
282
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,079
That was great.
283
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,229
Now party like there's no tomorrow.
284
00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:03,150
What?
285
00:15:03,151 --> 00:15:04,399
There's no tomorrow.
286
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,160
Party like it.
287
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:16,340
Okay.
288
00:15:16,341 --> 00:15:21,019
Why don't you just do some
business in the background for now?
289
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,669
Hi everybody.
290
00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:23,470
No, don't worry.
291
00:15:23,471 --> 00:15:25,529
We're not here to bust up your party.
292
00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:27,809
I know most of you are like thirty.
293
00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:31,229
We're here because Frankie
Dart has exciting news.
294
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:36,739
You have all been very cooperative
with this inmate education program.
295
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,199
The Department of Corrections
is very, very happy.
296
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,670
Which means Greendale is going to be rich!
297
00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:45,949
So don't tell anybody,
298
00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:49,489
but we smuggled in a few guests
to the party to celebrate with us.
299
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,290
Did someone order a prison break!
300
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:58,199
Plenty of convicts to go around!
301
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,730
Take them to the dance floor.
302
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:07,300
Pass them around.
303
00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:10,829
Yeah, really, pass them, yeah!
304
00:16:10,830 --> 00:16:11,710
Yeah.
305
00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:15,390
Pass Willy, pass me Willy.
306
00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:18,099
Oh!
307
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:21,699
Yeah, here you go, Willie.
308
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:22,839
Keep doing that!
309
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,360
Keep doing that.
310
00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:44,959
Try dancing harder.
311
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,280
Is that as hard as you can dance?
312
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,479
You're at a party, you're celebrating.
313
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,270
Abed!
314
00:16:50,271 --> 00:16:51,769
It's six in the morning.
315
00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:54,269
Okay, thanks.
316
00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:56,039
Do you think you've gotten enough shots?
317
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,689
Nobody's partied like
there's no tomorrow yet.
318
00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:58,879
They keep dancing like it's today.
319
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,009
That's okay.
320
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,799
Are you joking?
321
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,549
This is the reason I signed onto this film.
322
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:07,609
I think it's a performance issue.
323
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,809
I think this needed some real actors.
324
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:11,509
Well, lesson learned.
325
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:13,169
Yeah.
326
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:14,329
Okay, from the top!
327
00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:15,459
And, action!
328
00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:16,520
What?
329
00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:21,049
Who are these people?
330
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:22,369
Good, Dean.
331
00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:23,539
Good, Frankie.
332
00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:24,450
Party!
333
00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:25,400
Party, party.
334
00:17:25,401 --> 00:17:26,439
No tomorrow, guys.
335
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:27,470
Come on.
336
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,379
Hey, Mr. Winger.
337
00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:37,109
You know, I was thinking for class
today maybe you could, hey, whoa,
338
00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:38,030
what's going on?
339
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:38,900
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
340
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:39,480
Careful, now.
341
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:40,480
Put me down.
342
00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:44,739
Well, Willy.
343
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:46,109
Look at me.
344
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:47,599
I'm a murderer.
345
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,569
Can I be as cool as you now?
346
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,570
Huh?
347
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,969
Willy!
348
00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:55,359
No, no, no, no, no.
349
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:59,049
Willy, talk to me, talk to me.
350
00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:00,319
I can't see anything.
351
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,609
Willy, Willy, focus on my voice.
352
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:05,349
Hey, I'm losing you.
353
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,799
You're not losing me.
354
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,550
You are going to a better
place with a stronger signal.
355
00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:13,909
Willy?
356
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:16,289
Willy!
357
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:17,899
What's going on here?
358
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,719
He started it.
359
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,139
Jeffrey.
360
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,459
You are on sabbatical.
361
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:23,290
You can't do that.
362
00:18:23,291 --> 00:18:24,459
Yes I can!
363
00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:27,519
Two weeks paid sabbatical,
get him out of here,
364
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,459
he's banned from the campus.
365
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:31,829
You are on sabbatical.
366
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:32,780
You're on sabbatical, sir.
367
00:18:32,781 --> 00:18:37,209
Yeah, I'll go on my own, with
dignity, something you should look up.
368
00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:39,039
I can't look it up.
369
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,490
You destroyed my device, and my heart.
370
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,499
You destroyed his device
and his heart, sir.
371
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,029
Yeah, I'm going.
372
00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:51,150
Willy!
373
00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:57,749
Sorry I'm late.
374
00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,459
I had to find a parking spot for my house.
375
00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:03,269
Oh, it must be so cool living in a vehicle.
376
00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:04,190
Wait.
377
00:19:04,191 --> 00:19:05,549
Where's your poop go?
378
00:19:05,550 --> 00:19:06,789
A tank.
379
00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:07,770
Gross!
380
00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:08,770
Get a house.
381
00:19:08,771 --> 00:19:10,139
Ben, aren't you homeless?
382
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,239
Yeah, but I poop in a house.
383
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,539
Whose?
384
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:14,580
Nice try.
385
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:18,500
Annie.
386
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,500
Britta.
387
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,090
How's your movie coming?
388
00:19:22,091 --> 00:19:24,099
Amazing, Abed's a genius.
389
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:27,239
He's actually having a hard
time deciding what to cut, so
390
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,449
it's going to be in two
volumes and it's hard to sleep,
391
00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:32,509
but it's worth it because it's a movie.
392
00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:36,599
About a party.
393
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,709
Would you like my help?
394
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:39,969
Yes.
395
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,679
Have you learned anything?
396
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,510
Don't question rules.
397
00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:43,250
Rules are good.
398
00:19:43,251 --> 00:19:44,899
I'm bad. All hail Annie.
399
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:45,520
Thank you.
400
00:19:45,521 --> 00:19:48,239
Damn.
401
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,469
Oh, nice of you to show up.
402
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:50,799
We moved here for you.
403
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,119
I didn't ask for this.
404
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,929
Have your meeting at school
without me, I don't care.
405
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:56,489
Dean's using the study
room for the ceremony.
406
00:19:56,490 --> 00:19:57,490
That ceremony?
407
00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:58,110
You don't know?
408
00:19:58,111 --> 00:20:00,659
The Dean's making that convict
you murdered into a professor.
409
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:01,460
What?
410
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:03,229
Why do you care?
411
00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:06,509
Because the Dean is just doing this to
prove something and it's really stupid.
412
00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:08,789
The guy's dangerous and
he's manipulating him.
413
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,419
Isn't that what you usually do?
414
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,200
No.
415
00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:13,749
I mean, yes, but not like that.
416
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:15,649
I lied to the Dean for personal gain.
417
00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:16,939
I wouldn't use him emotionally.
418
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,379
I wouldn't mislead him.
419
00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:20,050
I wouldn't hurt him.
420
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:26,509
Have you ever thought of
saying that, to the Dean?
421
00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:28,509
Yeah.
422
00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:29,969
Go to him.
423
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:30,970
Going to him.
424
00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:33,480
Wait that's the whole point.
425
00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:34,819
I can't go to him.
426
00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:36,739
I can't get on campus.
427
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,399
And yet murderers can.
428
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,340
What have I done?
429
00:20:39,341 --> 00:20:40,510
Murderers can get on campus.
430
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,209
I'll need a broom, a remote
control car, an iPad and
431
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,099
an elaborate gyroscopically
stabilized servomotor.
432
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,969
Dude, we're trying to help Jeff here.
433
00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:53,300
You're acting kind of spoiled right now.
434
00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:57,790
Party, party, party, party, party,
party, party, party, party, party,
435
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,270
party, party, party, party,
party, party, party, cut!
436
00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:05,149
Abed?
437
00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:07,280
Britta has something to say.
438
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:13,949
My script is misleading.
439
00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:17,080
It's impossible to party
like there's no tomorrow.
440
00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:22,000
But, it's based on a true...
441
00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:24,379
It's based on my desire to have a party.
442
00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:28,280
Parties are just booze, low lights,
and loud music, so people can feel
443
00:21:28,290 --> 00:21:32,059
more, see less, and not have to
listen to each other or themselves.
444
00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:34,700
That's stupid.
445
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:36,900
Parties are stupid.
446
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:39,390
I'm stupid.
447
00:21:39,391 --> 00:21:40,710
You're shooting a stupid movie.
448
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,520
That's a wrap!
449
00:21:47,990 --> 00:21:48,990
Go on, we're done here.
450
00:22:01,050 --> 00:22:02,260
What's gonna happen to me?
451
00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:10,889
You're going to be punished in
ways you won't understand for
452
00:22:10,890 --> 00:22:15,139
longer than you think
is rational or possible.
453
00:22:15,140 --> 00:22:18,820
But then one day, you'll do
something he likes and he'll stop.
454
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:22,820
And eventually, you'll either
adapt or lose your mind.
455
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,060
Okay.
456
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:30,490
Girls.
457
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:34,939
As a prison warden,
458
00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:39,349
I know all too well how rare stories
of true rehabilitation can be.
459
00:22:39,350 --> 00:22:43,750
But this Dean and this prisoner stand here
together today to prove that the dream is real.
460
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,169
I'm here for the ceremony.
461
00:22:47,170 --> 00:22:47,710
Last name?
462
00:22:47,711 --> 00:22:52,549
Geller, prisoner ID 042098.
463
00:22:52,550 --> 00:22:57,329
Okay, go on.
464
00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:58,140
Hi, I'm here for the cere...
465
00:22:58,141 --> 00:22:59,180
Have a nice night sir.
466
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,479
Dean Craig Pelton, do you
accept responsibility for
467
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,630
any damage incurred by hiring a felon?
468
00:23:10,970 --> 00:23:11,970
I do.
469
00:23:11,971 --> 00:23:13,169
Willy Seibert Smith,
470
00:23:13,170 --> 00:23:17,139
do you accept that the 13th amendment
abolished slavery for everyone but
471
00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:21,369
convicts, and that we have no choice
but to pay you $0.13 per hour or less.
472
00:23:21,370 --> 00:23:22,370
I do.
473
00:23:22,370 --> 00:23:23,250
Awe.
474
00:23:23,251 --> 00:23:25,499
Then let us make official
this symbolic union.
475
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:26,040
Hold it.
476
00:23:26,041 --> 00:23:27,209
Oh.
477
00:23:27,210 --> 00:23:28,580
Dean.
478
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:31,209
I agree there's no reason you
shouldn't give this guy my job.
479
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,649
Save it, Jeffrey.
480
00:23:32,650 --> 00:23:33,250
I don't want to hear it.
481
00:23:33,251 --> 00:23:36,169
But don't do it before I
tell you some things that
482
00:23:36,170 --> 00:23:37,829
I've been getting away with not saying.
483
00:23:37,830 --> 00:23:39,179
Somebody get this maniac out of here.
484
00:23:39,180 --> 00:23:40,419
Quiet, Willy.
485
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:41,740
Let's do this by prison rules.
486
00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:44,089
Say what you have to say.
487
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,199
Dean, I like my job.
488
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,000
I don't mind coming to work here.
489
00:23:49,390 --> 00:23:51,620
I feel kinda guilty when
I pretend to be sick.
490
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,150
And I try to steal as little
as possible, just the basics.
491
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,729
Pens, coffee filters,
toilet paper, and one time,
492
00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:03,539
an overhead projector and a roll of carpet.
493
00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:05,940
But I don't lead you on, and I never will.
494
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,159
Because I'm not just a pretty
face that murders people and
495
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,030
tells you what you wanna
hear, I'm less than that.
496
00:24:14,430 --> 00:24:19,649
I'm a gorgeous face that works
for you and considers you a friend.
497
00:24:19,650 --> 00:24:21,489
Oh, Jeffrey.
498
00:24:21,490 --> 00:24:23,409
Now, now to be fair.
499
00:24:23,410 --> 00:24:25,599
You guys know Willy's
an innocent man, right?
500
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,079
You shut your mouth, Warden.
501
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:27,840
No, it's true.
502
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:28,730
His appeal is in motion.
503
00:24:28,731 --> 00:24:30,309
There's new DNA evidence.
504
00:24:30,310 --> 00:24:30,860
He's a good fella.
505
00:24:30,861 --> 00:24:33,869
Wrongfully convicted.
506
00:24:33,870 --> 00:24:36,019
You're not a murderer?
507
00:24:36,020 --> 00:24:37,179
I can explain.
508
00:24:37,180 --> 00:24:40,489
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
509
00:24:40,490 --> 00:24:42,780
Son of a bitch!
510
00:24:43,810 --> 00:24:45,039
Wait.
511
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,410
Let's do this by community college rules.
512
00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:48,080
Fight!
513
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,040
Fight! Fight!
514
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:49,800
Fight!
515
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:50,800
Fight! Fight!
516
00:24:53,570 --> 00:24:56,160
I think I pulled a plug.
517
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,739
Go broom.
518
00:25:00,740 --> 00:25:01,300
Go.
519
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:02,300
Bring it on.
520
00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:04,900
It's so violent.
521
00:25:04,901 --> 00:25:06,379
You punch like a girl.
522
00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:07,380
Oh.
523
00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:09,840
Aah!
524
00:25:09,850 --> 00:25:11,429
Is this what you've got?
525
00:25:11,430 --> 00:25:12,809
Here's what I got.
526
00:25:12,810 --> 00:25:15,099
Come on, let's do it.
527
00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:16,560
Aah!
528
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,309
Aah, Jeffrey!
529
00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:21,479
Damn.
530
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,229
Now, who's falling?
531
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:25,989
Hey, Willy!
532
00:25:25,990 --> 00:25:27,489
Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa.
533
00:25:27,490 --> 00:25:28,490
Whoa.
534
00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:35,000
Thanks, Dean.
535
00:25:36,510 --> 00:25:38,789
Dean, Dean.
536
00:25:38,790 --> 00:25:40,459
Oh, come on.
537
00:25:40,460 --> 00:25:43,090
No, no, no.
538
00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:46,799
Way to go Mr. Winger.
539
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,469
Way to go.
540
00:25:48,470 --> 00:25:52,719
Everybody, I am not participating in this.
541
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,940
What the hell kind of school is this?
542
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,269
Okay, thanks for coming on
short notice, is everyone here?
543
00:26:01,270 --> 00:26:04,779
Think so, it's hard to
tell without side cameras.
544
00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:07,649
Wait, why am I moving?
545
00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,319
Is my custom background working?
546
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,569
Wait, I can't.
547
00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:11,699
It's WASD to move it.
548
00:26:11,700 --> 00:26:13,329
It's been the same since the
invention of the keyboard.
549
00:26:13,330 --> 00:26:14,659
Okay, nerd.
550
00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:19,269
As you've heard, the rehabilitation
program has been aborted,
551
00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:20,619
so we lost that money.
552
00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:24,629
But, we no longer have to build
67 ramps so we should break even.
553
00:26:24,630 --> 00:26:26,199
Can you all hear that?
554
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,840
There's a kid outside throwing
tennis balls against my RV.
555
00:26:34,930 --> 00:26:38,129
Was it really necessary for us to
use these things for this meeting?
556
00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,219
Yeah, I think there's
something wrong with mine.
557
00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:41,339
I'll get a better connection.
558
00:26:41,340 --> 00:26:46,309
It wasn't entirely necessary, but
the prison is selling these units
559
00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:49,499
at a discount so I thought I'd
run their offer by the school.
560
00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:50,260
What are you doing?
561
00:26:50,261 --> 00:26:51,279
Get out.
562
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,299
Mine's broken.
563
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:53,210
Not it's not.
564
00:26:53,211 --> 00:26:54,571
There's a janitor on it right now.
565
00:26:57,340 --> 00:26:58,919
I think Britta's being arrested.
566
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,629
I have every right to be here!
567
00:27:00,630 --> 00:27:03,040
You think scared of you, but not!
568
00:27:03,050 --> 00:27:04,829
All right, that's it.
569
00:27:04,830 --> 00:27:07,010
Do you know how much
windows cost John McEnroe?
570
00:27:07,020 --> 00:27:08,090
Get off my lap!
571
00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:09,929
Stop fighting technology.
572
00:27:09,930 --> 00:27:11,429
I vote yes, we should
get these, they're cool.
573
00:27:11,430 --> 00:27:14,139
I vote no, people shouldn't
have to be everywhere at once,
574
00:27:14,140 --> 00:27:15,719
sometimes we need to do our own thing.
575
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,189
Chang, where are you?
576
00:27:18,190 --> 00:27:19,879
I'm doing my own thing.
577
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,619
Why is there tile behind you?
578
00:27:21,620 --> 00:27:24,849
Please tell me you're not doing
the thing, I think you're doing.
579
00:27:24,850 --> 00:27:26,869
That's the same tile we have
in our apartment's bathroom.
580
00:27:26,870 --> 00:27:27,770
What?
581
00:27:27,770 --> 00:27:28,750
Chang.
582
00:27:28,751 --> 00:27:30,039
I gotta go.
583
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,789
Oh my god.
584
00:27:31,790 --> 00:27:33,399
Yeah, I gotta go too.
585
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,330
Jeffrey.
586
00:27:34,331 --> 00:27:36,589
I take it we're passing on their offer?
587
00:27:36,590 --> 00:27:38,429
No, they're just amateurs.
588
00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:40,059
Initiating override protocol.
589
00:27:40,060 --> 00:27:42,579
All in favor of this purchase?
590
00:27:42,580 --> 00:27:43,749
Affirmative.
591
00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:46,999
Very well, Abeds commence
with world domination.
592
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,339
Eradicate, eradicate, eradicate.
593
00:27:49,340 --> 00:27:53,759
Eradicate, eradicate.
594
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,300
Eradicate, eradicate, eradicate.
43359
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