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1
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,429
Rise and shine!
2
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,298
Honey, 6:45. Wow!
3
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:07,567
Oh, God. It makes
me look fat, doesn't it?
4
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:10,837
No, it makes you look great.
5
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,839
Really? Thank
you, honey. Really.
6
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,443
Rise and shine.
Rise and shine.
7
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:19,412
Brennan.
Time to get up.
8
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,182
Brennan, look out!
Huh! What happened?
9
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,484
Sorry. Thought
it was an earthquake.
10
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,187
First day of school, guy.
11
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,257
You know, Dad. I reviewed
all my classes last night on-line.
12
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:32,392
I could practically do the entire
seventh grade from my desk...
13
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:34,461
without actually ever
having to go to school.
14
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,197
- Wow.
- So, can I?
15
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,366
- Sure.
- Really?
16
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:42,270
When pigs fly!
17
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:51,311
- Morning, Daddy.
- Morning, honey. Nervous?
18
00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:54,514
Nope. One sandwich, lettuce
and avocado, mustard only.
19
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,916
Sliced apple,
three cookies, a Jell-O,
20
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,386
string cheese,
a spoon and a napkin.
21
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:02,189
- And a blue ice block.
- What are you talking about?
22
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:05,158
- My lunch, Dad.
- Lunch. Right.
23
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:08,361
Okay. Got it.
Dad, relax.
24
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,530
Don't freak out on
your first Mr. Mom day.
25
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,899
Oh.
Lunches are easy.
26
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,468
I'll help you. You'll get
the hang of it. Go on.
27
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,405
Go on.
Okay.
28
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,269
Oh, no. Beethoven!
29
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,763
Oh, no.
30
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:20,500
Not again.
Honey, don't use the...
31
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,603
Who took the toilet seat?
32
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:29,277
Oh! Oh! Beethoven!
33
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,980
Come on, kids.
Let's go.
34
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:38,418
See you, Beethoven. Take
care of Dad. Bye, Beethoven.
35
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,454
Brennan, you want
to start the car? Yeah. Later, Dad.
36
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:43,391
Bye, Dad. Bye, guys. Good luck.
37
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:53,401
Honey, you look great.
They're gonna love you.
38
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,806
Honey, don't forget.
39
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,775
It's only till George comes
back from Europe. I know.
40
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:05,445
But it just seems so unfair
that he's staying with us...
41
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,781
when there's so many skiers in
the Alps he could be rescuing.
42
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:13,353
Okay, wish me luck.
43
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:16,689
Good luck, but you're
not gonna need it.
44
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,262
Ohh! Aah!
45
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,800
- Ohh!
- Huh? Ugh.
46
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,504
Oh! You are
sleeping outside...
47
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:34,507
from now until eternity!
48
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,104
Splendid, splendid.
But you missed a spot.
49
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,407
Sorry, Mr. Simmons.
50
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,477
Yes, I should think so too.
51
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,563
Ah, Michelangelo.
52
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,466
Wakey, wakey.
53
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,768
It's breakfast time, my lad.
54
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,139
What have we got?
55
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,742
Eggs and "bakie"? Ooh,
not quite.
56
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:45,111
Vegetarian breakfast, as usual.
57
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:47,915
There we are.
Lovely.
58
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,628
All done?
59
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:06,500
Eww.
60
00:06:11,739 --> 00:06:15,543
♪
61
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,941
- Morning, Dad.
- Morning, honey.
62
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,983
- Push enter.
- Enter?
63
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,655
Oh. Duh.
64
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,657
Thanks, honey.
65
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,563
It's a new portable modem.
Neat, huh?
66
00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:13,866
Yeah, Dad.
All right. I'm hot.
67
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:17,604
I am very excited. I'm gonna
tell the design guys about this!
68
00:07:17,605 --> 00:07:20,440
Dad, wait!
69
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,448
Dad! Dad, wait!
70
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,251
Dad!
71
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,853
Dad!
72
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,823
Wait.
73
00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:40,694
Your socks don't match.
74
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:47,233
Oh. Well, when you own the
company, nobody mentions it.
75
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:51,037
But, Dad!
76
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,541
You said you'd push me on my
roller blades today. Remember?
77
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,645
Ohh! No.
78
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,747
I said tomorrow.
79
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,085
Yeah, but you
said that yesterday.
80
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:14,260
Good morning sir. Microsedge
stock is up 3 and 1/8th.
81
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:16,963
All right. That's good.
That's good.
82
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:20,067
Simmons, you hold down the fort
while I'm off making more millions.
83
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,637
As usual, sir.
84
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,950
Oh, no. Mr. Sedg...
Oh, no! Mr. Sedgwick!
85
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,700
I'm ready.
86
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:44,984
Morning, Michelangelo.
87
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,655
Morning, Miss Sedgwick.
Morning, Simmons.
88
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,843
Hey, good boy.
Here you go.
89
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,379
- I know you like it.
- Oh, no, please!
90
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,849
Miss Madison, no meat
products. You'll give him gas.
91
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,018
And that would be
most unpleasant.
92
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,120
Don't tempt Michelangelo,
Madison.
93
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,990
You know what his psychic
nutritionist said about bacon.
94
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:27,927
One piece. She'll never
know. She knows already.
95
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:31,998
Oh, I love breakfast!
I'll tell you, Simmons.
96
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,934
Buying Sedgefood.com was
the best thing Reg ever did.
97
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:38,437
Oh, yes, madam.
Convenience above all.
98
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:41,440
Mom, aren't you gonna have
some real breakfast?
99
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:44,811
I can't. I got a nude sit-in
against fur at 10:00.
100
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,046
Any extra weight is gonna be
pretty obvious in my birthday suit.
101
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,149
Simmons, call my attorney.
102
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,919
Have one of his people... a
woman... bail me out around 11:00.
103
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:56,055
Yes, ma'am.
104
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,158
- Mom, do I get to start riding lessons today?
- Oh, Madison.
105
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:02,762
I don't know. I have issues with the
whole humans-on-horses situation.
106
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,264
Well, then may I have
a friend over after school?
107
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:08,701
Not "may I," "can I"!
You empower yourself, Maddy.
108
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:12,171
You don't need anyone's
permission. Well, then can I?
109
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:16,175
No, because your personal trainer is coming
as soon as your reflexologist leaves.
110
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,011
And when he's done, you've got
an aromatherapy session.
111
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,480
We'll talk later. How do
I look? It doesn't matter.
112
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,184
It's all for the cause.
Bye! Bye!
113
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,295
Wanna pull me on my roller
blades, Michelangelo?
114
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,464
Shh. No, please.
Madison.
115
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:42,001
Not while Michelangelo
is meditating.
116
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,944
This doesn't belong
in a greeting card.
117
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:55,748
It belongs in a museum.
118
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,150
Hmm?
119
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,953
Roses are red, violets are blue.
120
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,055
I'm sad and lonely
because of you.
121
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,292
All right, it's
lame. I don't write this stuff.
122
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,128
But the illustration's good.
123
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:15,067
Huh? That's why they pay me
the low-to-medium size bucks.
124
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,140
This is the first
in a whole new line.
125
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:24,143
If they like this one,
I get 'em all.
126
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,213
Stay!
127
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,348
Do not touch anything.
128
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,919
Do not breathe on anything.
129
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,079
Ah. Ah.
130
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,882
Come to Papa.
131
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,317
Come to Papa. No!
132
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:08,320
Aah! Uhh! Uhh!
133
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,957
Ow! Ow!
134
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,159
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow! Ow! Ow!
135
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,898
Ow!
136
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,030
This is a big
opportunity for me,
137
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,365
and now the painting's
a total loss.
138
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,068
After Brennan spent so
many hours posing for it.
139
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:59,038
Dad, he didn't mean to...
140
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:01,941
Sara, your father has the floor.
141
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:05,144
Richard, go ahead. My deadline
was already tight, but now...
142
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,447
Oh, time's up, Dad.
143
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:17,223
The pot roast would have
been excellent.
144
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,959
Well, the mac and
cheese was tasty. Yeah.
145
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,228
Really!
146
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,363
Do you think you
can fix the painting?
147
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,366
In time, which I don't have.
148
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,469
Plus, it sort of hurts
to hold a paintbrush.
149
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:35,041
Well, that brings us
to new business.
150
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,077
I had a few extra minutes
at work today,
151
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:41,380
and I decided
to run some numbers.
152
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,983
As you can see,
153
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,052
"B.B." means
"Before Beethoven."
154
00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,120
"A.B." means
"After Beethoven."
155
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:50,322
Now, I really think
the chart speaks for itself.
156
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,391
This dog is really costing us,
157
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,427
and I didn't even figure in
the latest fiasco.
158
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,298
- Point of clarification?
- Yes.
159
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:03,669
- What's a fiasco?
- It's a disaster, a debacle, a farce, a breakdown.
160
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,338
Oh.
161
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:14,013
Oh, honey.
162
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:17,184
I know you've gotten attached to
Beethoven. I mean, we all have.
163
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:22,288
But I just don't think there's
enough room in this household...
164
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,190
for a dog like Beethoven.
165
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,396
In fact, I don't think
there's a household...
166
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:33,732
with room enough in the entire
universe for a dog like Beethoven.
167
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,003
Sorry, Mom. Time's up.
168
00:15:37,004 --> 00:15:38,504
I guess that concludes
the family meeting!
169
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,473
Well...
170
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:48,514
I love these intimate
family gatherings.
171
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:52,518
What do you think Mom meant
by the house not being big enough?
172
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,288
Well, I think it means she's thinking
about getting rid of Beethoven.
173
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:01,193
Come on. Get over it. I mean,
he's not even our real dog anyway.
174
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:05,331
I know. You don't
have to remind me.
175
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:08,100
Well, maybe now's a good time
to hit 'em up for a new pet.
176
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,369
Something a little smaller,
like a cow?
177
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,471
Ha-ha.
178
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,573
Uh-oh.
Phoebe's out.
179
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,250
- I wish we brought Beethoven.
- Oh, no, the gate.
180
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:28,155
Beethoven!
Beethoven, help!
181
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,498
Brennan!
182
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,401
What do we do?
183
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,572
Look.
184
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:56,082
- Yes!
- Come on, Sara. Let's go.
185
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,284
Thanks, Beethoven.
Come on, boy.
186
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:01,320
We can't let him go.
We need a plan.
187
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,391
Okay, okay. Give me a couple
of days, and I'll think of something.
188
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:18,204
That's okay.
I was... finished.
189
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:22,574
Guess what, Sara. I'm about
to put the cookies in the oven.
190
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:26,512
Mmm, they're gonna be warm
and chewy, and you can't have any!
191
00:17:26,513 --> 00:17:28,215
Sorry, Dad.
Current events.
192
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,251
Oh, no!
193
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:34,454
Who let the dog in?
194
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,558
You're not helping
your case here, pal.
195
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,061
Eww!
Oatmeal drool cookies.
196
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,673
So did you think of a plan?
197
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,409
It's only been three days.
Give me a break.
198
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:01,247
Besides, I'm really behind
on my math homework.
199
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,449
I knew you wouldn't have a plan.
200
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,284
So here, I do have a plan.
201
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,254
Look at this!
202
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,328
- Hi, honey.
- Oh. Oh.
203
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:22,334
Don't you dare!
204
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,705
Beethoven!
Oh, no!
205
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:35,514
Beethoven barfed all over me!
206
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,217
How gross is that?
207
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,720
Eww!
208
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,656
Okay, my math homework,
one semester.
209
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,527
A whole semester?
Forget it, then.
210
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:54,534
Fine.
See you, Beethoven.
211
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,637
Fine! One semester.
212
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,906
Jerk.
213
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:03,375
Oh, great. Uh-huh.
214
00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:06,245
Oh, that's fabulous.
All right.
215
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,680
I'll let you know.
Okay.
216
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,218
They gonna take him?
Well, if we want to.
217
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,586
They're really gonna miss him.
218
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,423
Beethoven was never gonna
be able to stay with us forever.
219
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,525
Sooner or later, they're gonna
have to miss him. I guess.
220
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,228
Oh, Richard.
221
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:25,664
They're a really nice family.
They live on a huge farm.
222
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,467
I mean, Beethoven
will have chickens to chase,
223
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,937
barns to burn
and cows to stampede.
224
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,341
He'll be in heaven.
225
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,677
Oh, you're right, as usual.
226
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,548
So that settles it.
227
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:44,683
You tell the kids we're
getting rid of Beethoven.
228
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,519
Thanks, honey.
Gotta work.
229
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,257
Speaking of chickens...
230
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:58,331
Aah!
Get rid of him!
231
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,239
Oh, hello, Bill.
Beth!
232
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,508
Good to see you.
Mwah! Mwah!
233
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,777
Mwah.
234
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:15,547
So I suppose you're
looking for Richard.
235
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,350
Well, I think I might be
able to find him for you...
236
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,486
around here somewhere.
237
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:22,721
So I'll do that.
Mmm.
238
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,823
Why don't you, uh...
why don't you sit down?
239
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,726
Oh. Mmm.
240
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,329
Richard! Bill's here!
241
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:34,733
Richard? Richard!
242
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,304
Psst! Over here.
243
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:41,573
What are you doing?
244
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,410
He's here for the painting,
the one Beethoven ruined.
245
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:46,812
Ow!
So?
246
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:50,616
So... I haven't
fixed it yet. What?
247
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:53,452
Why? Richard!
248
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,754
Because I thought
he was coming next week.
249
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:58,657
Ohh! Oh, who's this?
250
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:01,760
"I don't need to write things down in a
notebook because I have a photographic memory."
251
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,029
Okay, okay.
You were right.
252
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,632
I was wrong. Can we
discuss this later, please?
253
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:09,635
Honey, go stall him. Stall him.
This is not my responsibility.
254
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,438
What?
255
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:15,073
You said, "I want to go back to work,
spread my wings, challenge myself."
256
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,376
Did I say no?
257
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,778
No, I said, "Okay, honey.
258
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,581
"I'll stay home, convert the
garage into a studio, be a freelancer.
259
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:24,850
I'll cook, I'll clean,
I'll handle the kids."
260
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:28,053
And all I ask in return...
261
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:31,890
is if I'm ever late for a deadline,
and the client shows up unexpectedly,
262
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:34,626
that you stall him while I
try to figure out what to do.
263
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,563
Remember?
264
00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:40,600
I remember the first part. I don't
remember the "stall your boss" part.
265
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:44,403
Okay, fine. I'll beg.
266
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,738
Is that what you
want me to do? I'll beg.
267
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,874
Richard, please.
Please!
268
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:53,712
You stunning, sexy,
gorgeous, perfect woman!
269
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:55,582
Stall him for me!
270
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:02,755
Please.
271
00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:10,696
Bill, do you want some coffee?
272
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,732
Yeah, cream and sugar.
Thanks! What are you gonna do?
273
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:17,404
I don't know.
274
00:22:18,571 --> 00:22:20,839
Stall him.
275
00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:33,685
Melinda. Your dog's
gonna do fine.
276
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,787
Thanks. Come on, boy.
277
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:38,590
Why me?
278
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,427
Come on, girl.
279
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,682
Beethoven!
Hold on to him, Sara.
280
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,618
Hi!
281
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:09,421
Oh. What's his name?
282
00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:13,692
- Beethoven.
- Stay, stay!
283
00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:15,994
- Get down!
- No, no, no!
284
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:18,697
- Down.
- Good dog.
285
00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:22,468
Sit, sit, sit. Good
dog. Beethoven!
286
00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:26,505
We have our work
cut out for us, don't we?
287
00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:29,007
- Do you think you could teach him to obey?
- Me?
288
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:32,844
Oh, no, my dear.
That's my husband's department.
289
00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:34,913
Sergeant Rutledge.
290
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:38,517
Oh, he's a genius with dogs.
291
00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:41,653
He was with the canine corps
for years.
292
00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:44,923
Why, during the war, he was...
293
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,525
That'll do, Mrs. Rutledge.
trainer...
294
00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:49,027
Oh, dear.
295
00:23:49,028 --> 00:23:51,697
This is Beethoven.
Oh?
296
00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:54,566
Children would like you
to teach him...
297
00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:56,568
to obey.
298
00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:59,472
Mm-hmm!
299
00:24:08,815 --> 00:24:12,451
Mmm.
It will be a pleasure.
300
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,831
More coffee, Bill?
301
00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,634
Mmm, no, thanks.
302
00:24:32,238 --> 00:24:35,542
Oh, I was so sorry to hear
about you and Susan.
303
00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:38,777
We had our problems.
304
00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:48,954
When's the big day
for you and Sharon?
305
00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,758
N-Next month.
Small ceremony.
306
00:24:57,730 --> 00:24:59,999
I guess you'll be hiring
a new secretary, then.
307
00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:06,872
You know, this is ridiculous.
308
00:25:06,873 --> 00:25:10,008
I've got a meeting wi-with
the art director at 1:00.
309
00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:12,010
Oh. And I need to
have that painting.
310
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:14,880
Is Richard out there?
311
00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,583
Richard? R-Richard.
Buddy?
312
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:19,018
Oh, uh, Bill, wait!
313
00:25:30,830 --> 00:25:33,699
What in the hell is that?
314
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:36,868
Well, Bill, I was thinking.
315
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:39,037
All our cards
are for people, right?
316
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,640
From people and to people.
317
00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:43,875
Well, they're the ones
who buy them.
318
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:46,845
But what about the people
who... don't have anyone...
319
00:25:46,846 --> 00:25:49,915
to send a card to?
320
00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:52,651
I'm listening.
321
00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,886
Well, you're missing a
whole segment of the public.
322
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:57,623
People who don't have anyone
to send a card to...
323
00:25:57,624 --> 00:25:59,958
and people who don't have
anyone to get a card from.
324
00:25:59,959 --> 00:26:02,360
Right!
Uh-huh.
325
00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:04,796
Uh-huh!
Uh-huh.
326
00:26:04,797 --> 00:26:08,066
So Richard was thinking...
327
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,802
I was thinking...
328
00:26:10,803 --> 00:26:13,172
those people don't have people.
329
00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:18,745
But they do have animals.
330
00:26:20,613 --> 00:26:21,981
Pets!
331
00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:26,852
This is the first
in a line of cards...
332
00:26:26,853 --> 00:26:29,621
that people
can send themselves...
333
00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:32,758
from their pets!
334
00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:35,160
"Dear Master,
335
00:26:35,161 --> 00:26:37,729
"I painted you a birthday card,
336
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:41,066
"and it's a real dead ringer,
337
00:26:41,067 --> 00:26:44,135
but it's awful hard to paint 'cause
I don't have thumbs or fingers."
338
00:26:44,136 --> 00:26:47,039
Hmm? Hmm.
339
00:26:57,684 --> 00:26:59,651
Okay, I love it!
340
00:26:59,652 --> 00:27:01,987
He loves it!
341
00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:04,023
He loves it!
He loves it?
342
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:18,737
Welcome to the Good Boy
Dog Obedience School,
343
00:27:18,738 --> 00:27:22,407
where there is no such
thing... no... as a bad dog.
344
00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:25,777
Only stubborn ones.
345
00:27:25,778 --> 00:27:29,014
When you and your precious
pooches leave this class,
346
00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:33,118
you will leave side by side...
347
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:36,688
you, the master; your dog,
your faithful servant...
348
00:27:36,689 --> 00:27:39,057
without leashes.
349
00:27:39,058 --> 00:27:41,828
I expect every dog
to pay attention.
350
00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,936
Are you a hard case, boy?
351
00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:53,872
Is he a hard case?
352
00:27:53,873 --> 00:27:57,175
I... I don't know.
353
00:27:57,176 --> 00:28:01,046
I've been training the canine
species for 27 years, son.
354
00:28:01,047 --> 00:28:04,149
I think I know an attitude
problem when I see one.
355
00:28:04,150 --> 00:28:06,184
This is how we handle
the hard case, people.
356
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:09,755
Pay attention.
357
00:28:09,756 --> 00:28:12,891
Or, you know, you can have
cards pets could send to each other.
358
00:28:12,892 --> 00:28:15,927
You know, like a dog could
send a cat a get-well-soon card.
359
00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:17,963
Or love letters
for rabbits. Yeah!
360
00:28:17,964 --> 00:28:20,198
Happy Groundhog's Day
cards, Bill.
361
00:28:20,199 --> 00:28:22,168
Maybe I'm getting
ahead of myself.
362
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:29,174
Okay, that's brilliant. We need to
have our lawyers talk on Monday.
363
00:28:29,175 --> 00:28:31,744
We got a percentage deal
to work out.
364
00:28:33,746 --> 00:28:35,814
Ciao, baby!
365
00:28:35,815 --> 00:28:37,049
Ciao.
366
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:46,491
Yes! Ha!
367
00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:49,828
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah!
368
00:28:49,829 --> 00:28:52,263
Oh, yeah.
Hoo! A-hoo!
369
00:28:52,264 --> 00:28:55,300
Say my name, say my
name, say my name! Richard!
370
00:28:55,301 --> 00:28:58,236
Mwah! That's a step
in the right direction.
371
00:28:58,237 --> 00:29:01,073
And the amazing thing is,
I owe it all to Beethoven.
372
00:29:05,878 --> 00:29:09,080
This is an obstacle course.
373
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:11,917
When I'm finished
with your dogs,
374
00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,919
they will be able to negotiate
this course automatically!
375
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:17,088
It may seem difficult
at first, but don't give up.
376
00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:20,058
Y are the master.
377
00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:21,860
Your dog must obey.
378
00:29:21,861 --> 00:29:24,996
Over!
379
00:29:24,997 --> 00:29:27,265
This is one of the commands
that you will be learning.
380
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:30,201
Our friend here
just doesn't know it yet.
381
00:29:30,202 --> 00:29:33,371
Not too smart, are you, pal?
382
00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:36,274
Okay, pal, I guess we're going to do
this the hard way. Go! Go on, Beethoven!
383
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:38,309
Students, one last thing:
384
00:29:38,310 --> 00:29:42,848
Never let go of the leash.
385
00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:45,083
Over!
386
00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:49,821
Now, what we have...
Whoa! Yo!
387
00:29:49,822 --> 00:29:52,157
Oh! Oh!
Wait, wait, wait!
388
00:29:52,158 --> 00:29:54,926
- ♪ Well, everybody thinks I'm
just a little out of place ♪ - Stop, stop!
389
00:29:54,927 --> 00:29:57,896
Wait!
390
00:29:57,897 --> 00:30:00,298
Stop! Stay, stay! ♪ I'm trying
hard to fit in but it'll be okay ♪
391
00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:03,835
♪ Once you train me
Heel! Roll over! Fetch!
392
00:30:03,836 --> 00:30:07,005
No! Come back!
♪ Show me all your moves
393
00:30:07,006 --> 00:30:09,908
Oh... no! ♪ I'll show
you who's walkin' who ♪
394
00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:13,078
♪ Come, stay, speak, sit
395
00:30:13,079 --> 00:30:16,247
♪ New dog, old tricks
- Wait, wait, wait, wait!
396
00:30:16,248 --> 00:30:19,250
♪ No
more fleas No more ticks ♪
397
00:30:19,251 --> 00:30:21,119
♪ Chasing balls
and fetching sticks ♪
398
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,955
♪ I'm your new best friend
399
00:30:23,956 --> 00:30:26,992
♪ New dog, old tricks
400
00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:31,062
- ♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits
- No. Wait. No.
401
00:30:31,063 --> 00:30:33,932
♪ I never had it good
as this ♪ -
402
00:30:33,933 --> 00:30:36,102
♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks
403
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,342
♪ Hey, if you
think you're gonna get me ♪
404
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:48,346
- ♪ To heel for you don't
bother ♪ - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
405
00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:51,082
♪ You'll be slippin' and slidin'
and swimmin' knee deep ♪ Ow!
406
00:30:51,083 --> 00:30:54,319
♪ In slobber Whoa!
407
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,155
♪ There's a new pooch
on the block ♪
408
00:30:57,156 --> 00:30:59,390
- ♪ I'll show you who'll be
top dog ♪ - Whoa-oa-oa-oa!
409
00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:03,228
♪ Eat, sleep, bark, sit
410
00:31:03,229 --> 00:31:05,964
♪ New dog, old tricks
411
00:31:05,965 --> 00:31:09,334
♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪
412
00:31:09,335 --> 00:31:11,469
♪ Chasing balls
and fetching sticks ♪
413
00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:15,240
♪ I'm your new best friend
414
00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:18,009
♪ New dog, old tricks
415
00:31:18,010 --> 00:31:21,279
♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits
416
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,349
♪ Never had it good as this
417
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:27,018
♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks ♪
418
00:31:35,094 --> 00:31:36,428
This means war.
419
00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:46,171
Reg, can you just put
that thing away for once?
420
00:31:46,172 --> 00:31:49,274
Just e-mailing ahead to
make sure the pro's ready. Dad!
421
00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:52,410
Oh, Maddy, Simmons has taken
Michelangelo to the groomers.
422
00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:55,046
But your feng shui instructor
will be here soon.
423
00:31:55,047 --> 00:31:58,016
But, Mom, Dad said he would
roller-blade with me today.
424
00:31:58,017 --> 00:32:00,018
Oh, honey, she's right.
425
00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:03,154
What the heck is that?
426
00:32:03,155 --> 00:32:07,325
Oh. Thanks, honey.
Duh.
427
00:32:07,326 --> 00:32:10,028
Reg, what are you doing? I was
gonna go roller-blading with Maddy.
428
00:32:10,029 --> 00:32:12,397
No, we're playing tennis.
429
00:32:12,398 --> 00:32:15,066
Madison has a very full
schedule, just like we do.
430
00:32:15,067 --> 00:32:17,368
Sweetheart, don't forget.
431
00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:20,538
Your Taiwanese Slap Fighting instructor
will be here at 4:00. Be good. Bye!
432
00:32:44,997 --> 00:32:47,332
He was pretty
nice about it, actually.
433
00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:51,736
Yeah. He just didn't want
to give me my money.
434
00:32:51,737 --> 00:32:54,505
You know what? No math
grade is worth this humiliation.
435
00:32:54,506 --> 00:32:56,308
I quit.
You're on your own.
436
00:33:08,354 --> 00:33:11,589
- Hi. Am I too late for class?
- Uh, you just, um...
437
00:33:11,590 --> 00:33:14,492
uh... um... uh...
438
00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:17,095
Uh, you... uh...
439
00:33:17,096 --> 00:33:19,164
You just missed it.
Darn.
440
00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:21,167
Well, is it every week?
441
00:33:22,601 --> 00:33:25,036
Yeah. You can
sign up over there.
442
00:33:25,037 --> 00:33:27,272
Okay, great.
Thanks.
443
00:33:27,273 --> 00:33:29,175
I guess I'll see you
next weekend.
444
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:33,145
Great dog.
445
00:33:37,149 --> 00:33:39,085
Bye.
Bye.
446
00:33:41,553 --> 00:33:44,822
Too bad you won't be there.
447
00:33:44,823 --> 00:33:47,426
What are you talking about?
I love dog training school.
448
00:33:50,529 --> 00:33:53,331
We gotta practice
a lot next week.
449
00:33:53,332 --> 00:33:56,234
That way Beethoven
doesn't do anything stupid.
450
00:33:56,235 --> 00:33:58,203
Speaking of stupid,
you should practice talking.
451
00:33:58,204 --> 00:34:00,238
Shut up.
452
00:34:00,239 --> 00:34:01,573
No, you shut up.
No, you shut up.
453
00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:25,830
Ah, here we are, Michelangelo.
454
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:29,234
Time for your lovely bath.
Good boy. Out you come.
455
00:34:29,235 --> 00:34:32,337
Time for your beauty treatment.
456
00:34:32,338 --> 00:34:36,174
Ah, Guillermo. Thank you so
much for meeting me halfway.
457
00:34:36,175 --> 00:34:38,543
I had a million things to do
and no time to do them in.
458
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:41,246
Is no problem, Simmons.
459
00:34:41,247 --> 00:34:44,549
I do anything for you,
my burly little muscle dog.
460
00:34:44,550 --> 00:34:47,318
Yes. Oh, you're
so brave and big and strong.
461
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:49,587
Ca va.
462
00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:52,323
You know what you
should do? You...
463
00:34:52,324 --> 00:34:56,194
Just the premium wash and wax.
No air freshener.
464
00:34:56,195 --> 00:34:58,497
Is parfum, not air freshener.
465
00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:03,434
I'm sorry. I
get a little defensive.
466
00:35:03,435 --> 00:35:06,504
It's my own formula.
I call it "CK9."
467
00:35:06,505 --> 00:35:08,906
Get it? "Canine"?
468
00:35:08,907 --> 00:35:11,310
I get it for you. You smell
yourself. Here, hold a minute.
469
00:35:21,353 --> 00:35:24,522
Ooh! Don't... Don't make a sound.
470
00:35:24,523 --> 00:35:28,626
Give me the leash. Oh,
my word. Is this a robbery?
471
00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:30,661
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
472
00:35:30,662 --> 00:35:33,432
Come on.
Come on, pooch.
473
00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:38,903
Okay, I have two... Oh, mon Dieu!
474
00:35:38,904 --> 00:35:42,373
Simmons,
what has happened to you?
475
00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:45,544
That rotten scoundrel,
he's stolen Michelangelo.
476
00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:51,382
Michelangelo!
477
00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:54,385
- Run!
- No, come back! No! Come back!
478
00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:55,687
Come back, you stupid...
Come here! Come here!
479
00:35:59,591 --> 00:36:03,361
I'll bet you this is part of the
problem. His collar's too tight.
480
00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:04,763
No, really?
481
00:36:07,666 --> 00:36:09,668
Mustard and onions with relish,
mustard and onions...
482
00:36:15,707 --> 00:36:18,309
Beethoven!
483
00:36:18,310 --> 00:36:20,678
Come back,
Beethoven! Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
484
00:36:20,679 --> 00:36:23,381
Stop, dog, stop!
485
00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:25,451
Beethoven!
486
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,362
Get back here. Oh, boy!
487
00:36:37,363 --> 00:36:39,564
Oh, my goodness.
488
00:36:39,565 --> 00:36:41,267
Come back! Come back!
489
00:36:45,237 --> 00:36:46,772
Beethoven!
490
00:36:49,275 --> 00:36:50,808
Ooh, where'd he go?
491
00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:02,554
Wait!
492
00:37:09,361 --> 00:37:11,497
Hmm, what's this?
493
00:37:13,399 --> 00:37:15,301
You idiot.
494
00:37:18,404 --> 00:37:20,471
Come back! Come back!
495
00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:21,740
Beethoven!
496
00:37:49,801 --> 00:37:52,838
Whoa!
497
00:38:05,884 --> 00:38:08,354
Michelangelo!
498
00:38:14,393 --> 00:38:16,761
Michelangelo, stop!
499
00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:36,747
Michelangelo!
Stop that!
500
00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:40,084
Give up those links, boy.
501
00:38:40,085 --> 00:38:43,454
Your cholesterol will go
through the roof.
502
00:38:43,455 --> 00:38:46,391
What has got into you?
You're being a very naughty boy.
503
00:38:46,392 --> 00:38:47,726
Come along.
Come along.
504
00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:52,697
Michelangelo,
when I get you home,
505
00:38:52,698 --> 00:38:54,400
you are grounded.
506
00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:01,739
Beethoven! He's gotta be
around here somewhere.
507
00:39:01,740 --> 00:39:03,875
Beethoven, where are you?
508
00:39:07,713 --> 00:39:09,681
Beethoven!
509
00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:20,759
Come on, boy.
510
00:39:24,896 --> 00:39:27,733
Beethoven, don't you
ever do that again.
511
00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:37,708
Michelangelo, that was a stinker.
512
00:39:37,709 --> 00:39:40,412
Oh!
513
00:39:45,484 --> 00:39:47,585
Egads.
514
00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:55,526
Whoo! Michelangelo,
pee-yew!
515
00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:57,429
Smelly!
516
00:39:59,898 --> 00:40:02,433
I told you not to eat
those hot dogs.
517
00:40:02,434 --> 00:40:04,870
Now you smell
like beef by-products.
518
00:40:08,774 --> 00:40:11,477
Appetizer, sir?
519
00:40:13,211 --> 00:40:15,013
Vittles?
520
00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:21,786
Come along. Come along.
Come along.
521
00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:23,689
Yum.
522
00:40:25,857 --> 00:40:28,659
Hello? Michelangelo.
Michelangelo!
523
00:40:31,897 --> 00:40:34,800
You daydreaming?
Come along.
524
00:40:36,201 --> 00:40:39,036
Whew! Goodness me.
525
00:40:39,037 --> 00:40:42,708
What's gotten into you?
You're not yourself at all.
526
00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:46,011
Come along.
527
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,787
You can just sit there and
use this 15 minutes' time-out...
528
00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:59,957
to think about how
utterly reprehensible...
529
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:02,893
your behavior was today.
530
00:41:02,894 --> 00:41:06,030
I'm going to go upstairs, change my
trousers, get all this doggy grease off me.
531
00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:07,866
Beefy breath!
532
00:41:11,803 --> 00:41:14,005
And I'm cancelling your massage.
533
00:41:24,883 --> 00:41:28,753
No! Not on the floor!
534
00:41:50,609 --> 00:41:51,910
Come on, Beethoven.
535
00:42:01,953 --> 00:42:05,691
Did you see what
he just did? No.
536
00:42:10,662 --> 00:42:13,097
Mmm!
Looks great, Dad.
537
00:42:13,098 --> 00:42:15,000
Thank you, sweetheart.
538
00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:20,070
Oh, no, you don't.
539
00:42:23,141 --> 00:42:25,910
- He just picked up my napkin.
- I told you he was smart.
540
00:42:25,911 --> 00:42:28,646
He folded your napkin.
541
00:42:28,647 --> 00:42:30,781
That's beyond smart.
542
00:42:30,782 --> 00:42:32,750
It's weird.
543
00:42:32,751 --> 00:42:35,853
You know what's really weird?
544
00:42:35,854 --> 00:42:38,956
I don't think
he's drooling anymore.
545
00:42:38,957 --> 00:42:40,826
That's weird.
546
00:42:52,804 --> 00:42:56,073
Is it Thanksgiving? Of
course not, Maddy. Why?
547
00:42:56,074 --> 00:42:58,042
Because we're all
eating together.
548
00:43:00,178 --> 00:43:02,047
Maddy, that's a good one.
549
00:43:03,949 --> 00:43:06,652
But, you know,
I think inappropriate.
550
00:43:08,153 --> 00:43:10,120
Say you're sorry, honey.
551
00:43:10,121 --> 00:43:13,624
Sorry, Mom.
552
00:43:13,625 --> 00:43:17,162
I just thought it would be nice for us all
to have a typical Sedgefood family meal.
553
00:43:20,165 --> 00:43:23,400
Oh, Reg, did I tell you that fur
company we picketed closed?
554
00:43:23,401 --> 00:43:27,104
Mm-hmm. I know.
We owned it.
555
00:43:27,105 --> 00:43:29,807
How could we? It's against
everything we believe in.
556
00:43:29,808 --> 00:43:31,909
We just acquired it
a few years ago.
557
00:43:34,980 --> 00:43:36,614
I could have had free furs all
this time, and you never told me?
558
00:43:40,151 --> 00:43:42,788
- Martha, you're against fur.
- Yeah, now, but I didn't used to be!
559
00:43:46,792 --> 00:43:49,727
De-fatted, unsalted,
cholesterol-free,
560
00:43:49,728 --> 00:43:52,230
organic porcine pot roast.
561
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,967
Was it free-range?
562
00:43:57,736 --> 00:44:00,838
It was a pig, ma'am.
563
00:44:00,839 --> 00:44:03,207
I'm not sure how far
they'd actually go...
564
00:44:03,208 --> 00:44:05,710
if they were given free range.
565
00:44:05,711 --> 00:44:09,747
Maybe just the semolina,
faux meat patty, then, Simmons.
566
00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:11,081
- As you wish, ma'am.
- Oops.
567
00:44:11,082 --> 00:44:12,350
Sorry.
568
00:44:15,420 --> 00:44:18,056
Michelangelo, would you be
so kind as to get that napkin?
569
00:44:20,726 --> 00:44:22,927
Michelangelo.
Michelangelo, no.
570
00:44:22,928 --> 00:44:25,029
Get back! Get back!
Ohh!
571
00:44:27,265 --> 00:44:30,134
Oh! Simmons!
572
00:44:30,135 --> 00:44:33,437
That wasn't the Bella, was it?
573
00:44:33,438 --> 00:44:35,272
My God. That's gonna
leave a mark.
574
00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:38,208
Okay.
575
00:44:38,209 --> 00:44:40,778
One foot in front of the other.
576
00:44:40,779 --> 00:44:44,448
There we go.
Steady up.
577
00:44:44,449 --> 00:44:47,084
Just don't stand there,
Simmons, for heaven's sake!
578
00:44:47,085 --> 00:44:49,186
Get the pot roast away from
him! He'll break out in hives!
579
00:44:51,857 --> 00:44:54,092
Hmm.
580
00:46:10,268 --> 00:46:13,303
Michelangelo?
581
00:46:13,304 --> 00:46:15,205
I was having a bad dream.
582
00:46:15,206 --> 00:46:17,843
Did I wake you?
583
00:46:19,344 --> 00:46:22,046
Hey, want to come sleep with me?
584
00:46:22,047 --> 00:46:24,581
Come on.
585
00:46:24,582 --> 00:46:26,317
Come on. Yeah.
586
00:46:30,021 --> 00:46:33,123
Okay.
587
00:46:33,124 --> 00:46:36,360
Let's see who's done
their homework.
588
00:46:36,361 --> 00:46:40,164
How about my little obstacle
course buddy? Drop the leash, son.
589
00:46:40,165 --> 00:46:42,566
Um, I-I don't think that's
such a good idea, sir.
590
00:46:52,043 --> 00:46:55,080
Last week, due to circumstances
beyond my control,
591
00:46:58,049 --> 00:47:01,418
I was unable to tell you all the
commands you will be learning...
592
00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:03,253
in this class.
Brennan!
593
00:47:03,254 --> 00:47:05,891
Commands such as "sit,"
594
00:47:07,926 --> 00:47:10,195
"down,"
595
00:47:11,930 --> 00:47:14,164
"come"...
596
00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:16,367
and, of course, "heel."
597
00:47:19,204 --> 00:47:22,106
And, therefore, in order
to test your dog's skills,
598
00:47:22,107 --> 00:47:24,441
my wife, Florence Rutledge,
has lovingly designed...
599
00:47:24,442 --> 00:47:27,411
the obstacle course,
600
00:47:27,412 --> 00:47:30,347
which represents
real-life situations...
601
00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:33,017
you and your canine
might actually encounter...
602
00:47:33,018 --> 00:47:35,419
in real life.
603
00:47:35,420 --> 00:47:38,956
The tunnel, one of
the more difficult trials,
604
00:47:38,957 --> 00:47:42,092
which only 1 in 100 untrained
dogs can successfully negotiate.
605
00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:47,097
The "A" frame, perhaps a
dangerous sand dune at the beach...
606
00:47:47,098 --> 00:47:49,333
on a busy summer day,
607
00:47:49,334 --> 00:47:53,237
kids screaming everywhere!
608
00:47:53,238 --> 00:47:56,473
Can you trust your canine
not to bolt into the crowd...
609
00:47:56,474 --> 00:48:00,110
and make off with a
three-year-old kid for lunch?
610
00:48:00,111 --> 00:48:02,146
The double jump,
611
00:48:02,147 --> 00:48:05,449
perhaps...
your neighbor's hedge,
612
00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,018
over which your dog
might have to hurtle...
613
00:48:08,019 --> 00:48:10,020
to save you from a...
614
00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:12,356
eh... cat.
615
00:48:12,357 --> 00:48:14,925
It's happened before.
616
00:48:14,926 --> 00:48:17,427
The teeter, a lot like...
617
00:48:17,428 --> 00:48:20,264
well, I'm not sure
about that one,
618
00:48:20,265 --> 00:48:23,233
but Florence like teeters,
so she put it in.
619
00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:27,004
And, of course,
the suspended foam donut.
620
00:48:27,005 --> 00:48:30,207
Absolutely impossible for amateurs
to negotiate without proper training.
621
00:48:30,208 --> 00:48:32,376
So don't even try it.
622
00:48:32,377 --> 00:48:35,712
Yes, people, it's not
going to happen overnight.
623
00:48:35,713 --> 00:48:38,949
But with a lot
of hard work and patience,
624
00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:42,519
even a dog who's two bones
short of a stew will learn to obey.
625
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:47,324
And before this class
is over, big guy,
626
00:48:47,325 --> 00:48:50,995
you will be trained so well...
627
00:48:50,996 --> 00:48:53,430
that you will execute
each and every obstacle...
628
00:48:53,431 --> 00:48:55,166
as if it were
a walk in the park.
629
00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:04,009
I promise you that.
Dismissed!
630
00:49:10,748 --> 00:49:13,550
Ladies, your
attention, please, to the podium.
631
00:49:13,551 --> 00:49:17,121
Thank you.
632
00:49:17,122 --> 00:49:21,058
Ladies, you
are invited here today...
633
00:49:21,059 --> 00:49:23,360
because you've all
been in the forefront...
634
00:49:23,361 --> 00:49:26,030
in your concern
for the environment...
635
00:49:26,031 --> 00:49:29,299
and your willingness to embrace
new methods of conservation.
636
00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:40,310
The idea of drinking toilet
water is a new one, to be sure,
637
00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:42,546
but it's the wave of the future!
638
00:49:47,085 --> 00:49:49,020
Hey!
639
00:50:16,481 --> 00:50:19,516
Come on, ladies.
Don't be shy.
640
00:50:19,517 --> 00:50:22,387
Bottoms up, so to
speak! Here we go!
641
00:50:24,255 --> 00:50:26,623
Ahh!
642
00:50:26,624 --> 00:50:30,561
- I can do this.
- Lauren, you want to go play in my room?
643
00:50:33,264 --> 00:50:35,199
I got ya!
Whoa!
644
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:39,103
Stop! Stop!
645
00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:41,171
- Michelangelo!
- You're coming with me!
646
00:50:41,172 --> 00:50:43,408
What are you doing?
Stop! Stop it!
647
00:50:46,411 --> 00:50:48,545
What are you doing?
648
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:51,848
Aaah!
649
00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:54,418
Heel!
650
00:50:54,419 --> 00:50:57,621
Michelangelo, stop!
651
00:50:57,622 --> 00:51:00,290
Whoa-oa-oa!
652
00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:10,467
Oh, no.
653
00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:28,686
Oh, no!
654
00:51:34,325 --> 00:51:36,693
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
655
00:51:36,694 --> 00:51:39,597
Oh, dear, madam.
You're all wet.
656
00:51:41,366 --> 00:51:43,334
Whoa!
657
00:51:45,303 --> 00:51:48,538
- Whoa!
- Michelangelo! Sit! Stay!
658
00:51:48,539 --> 00:51:51,309
Heel! Oh, crikey.
659
00:51:52,710 --> 00:51:55,479
Oh... my... God!
660
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,448
He's having an anxiety attack!
661
00:51:59,550 --> 00:52:01,619
Come here. Got ya.
662
00:52:04,489 --> 00:52:06,623
Now, that went well,
didn't it? Idiot!
663
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:09,293
Oh, shut up.
664
00:52:09,294 --> 00:52:12,263
Haven't you done enough?
Come along. Goodness.
665
00:52:16,601 --> 00:52:20,170
You have no idea how
traumatic it was, Doctor.
666
00:52:20,171 --> 00:52:23,207
The deeply buried feelings
it dredged up.
667
00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:25,576
I just had a flash.
668
00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:31,948
Do you think I had issues with
potty training when I was a child?
669
00:52:31,949 --> 00:52:34,518
Mrs. Sedgwick,
would you please sit up?
670
00:52:34,519 --> 00:52:36,253
This is Michelangelo's
appointment.
671
00:52:36,254 --> 00:52:38,655
Oh!
672
00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,691
Of course.
673
00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,562
I see there's a lot
of hostility today.
674
00:52:45,563 --> 00:52:49,766
That's just it, Doctor. All that
hostility, all that acting out.
675
00:52:49,767 --> 00:52:52,936
It's all so sudden.
Where is it coming from?
676
00:52:52,937 --> 00:52:56,673
- Do you want to know what I think?
- Of course.
677
00:52:56,674 --> 00:52:59,543
I think Michelangelo is
reacting to a lack of affection.
678
00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:02,546
Well, that's ridiculous.
679
00:53:02,547 --> 00:53:05,349
I'm fairly sure my daughter
gives him affection.
680
00:53:05,350 --> 00:53:08,718
- You're fairly sure?
- Well, I've seen them together.
681
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:13,258
Mrs. Sedgwick, do you give
Michelangelo affection? Physical affection.
682
00:53:15,426 --> 00:53:17,561
I try to give him his space.
683
00:53:17,562 --> 00:53:20,297
What about your daughter?
684
00:53:20,298 --> 00:53:22,966
Well, I-I told you, I'm
fairly sure... No, no.
685
00:53:22,967 --> 00:53:26,371
I mean, do you give
your daughter affection?
686
00:53:29,574 --> 00:53:32,442
Dr. Brothers,
as you pointed out,
687
00:53:32,443 --> 00:53:35,245
this is Michelangelo's
appointment, not mine.
688
00:53:35,246 --> 00:53:39,449
Mrs. Sedgwick, I think the
problem is deeper than Michelangelo.
689
00:53:39,450 --> 00:53:42,487
He's merely the first one
to exhibit symptoms.
690
00:53:49,827 --> 00:53:53,597
- What are you writing now?
- Notes from my new book.
691
00:53:53,598 --> 00:53:56,401
When you people fell out of the stupid
tree, you hit every branch on the way down.
692
00:54:04,475 --> 00:54:06,643
Heel.
693
00:54:06,644 --> 00:54:09,346
Good boy.
694
00:54:09,347 --> 00:54:11,316
Sit.
695
00:54:12,817 --> 00:54:15,853
Brennan, look!
Can you believe this?
696
00:54:20,591 --> 00:54:23,360
I don't know what it is. I mean, my
dog just can't seem to learn anything.
697
00:54:23,361 --> 00:54:25,795
I wish he was more
like Beethoven.
698
00:54:25,796 --> 00:54:29,600
Well, it didn't just
happen overnight, you know.
699
00:54:31,769 --> 00:54:35,872
Um, you just, you know,
gotta keep at it,
700
00:54:35,873 --> 00:54:39,776
and eventually it'll
all come together.
701
00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:43,880
You just gotta, um,
702
00:54:43,881 --> 00:54:46,717
be patient, mostly, and a lot
of hard work and stuff.
703
00:54:48,085 --> 00:54:49,820
Thanks.
704
00:54:54,625 --> 00:54:56,794
- Well, I gotta go.
- I-I gotta go too.
705
00:54:58,429 --> 00:55:01,565
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
706
00:55:01,566 --> 00:55:03,868
Bye. Okay. I guess
I'll see you later, then.
707
00:55:09,340 --> 00:55:10,907
It's just incredible,
that's all.
708
00:55:10,908 --> 00:55:12,909
I mean, top student
in the class.
709
00:55:12,910 --> 00:55:15,412
A beautiful girl likes me.
710
00:55:15,413 --> 00:55:17,547
It just doesn't work
that way in high school.
711
00:55:17,548 --> 00:55:19,816
Brennan, are you
worried about Beethoven?
712
00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:22,919
Oh, yeah. Real worried. I'm worried that
he's gonna turn me into such a babe magnet,
713
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:24,854
I won't have time
to eat or sleep.
714
00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:27,657
Brennan, I mean it.
715
00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:29,759
Beethoven's not the same dog
he used to be.
716
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:33,397
What are you talking about? I
mean, all our problems are over.
717
00:55:33,398 --> 00:55:35,832
Beethoven's finally
learning how to obey.
718
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:38,802
Mom's cooled off about
sending him off to some farm.
719
00:55:38,803 --> 00:55:41,137
Hey, my math grades are better
than they've ever been.
720
00:55:41,138 --> 00:55:43,774
- Brennan, I mean it.
- I think he's totally fine, okay?
721
00:55:45,676 --> 00:55:47,712
Come on.
722
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,349
Oh, no.
723
00:55:53,684 --> 00:55:56,386
Phoebe again.
724
00:55:56,387 --> 00:55:59,424
Don't worry about it.
Go on, do your stuff, boy.
725
00:56:08,766 --> 00:56:11,835
Beethoven!
Where are you going? Come on!
726
00:56:11,836 --> 00:56:14,571
Run!
727
00:56:14,572 --> 00:56:17,441
Beethoven!
Run, Sara, run!
728
00:56:19,610 --> 00:56:21,646
Beethoven! Get back
here, you weenie!
729
00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:57,781
Beethoven, I know I haven't
always been your biggest fan,
730
00:56:57,782 --> 00:57:00,718
but I can see you're
working hard to fit in.
731
00:57:05,690 --> 00:57:07,791
Honey, do you think he's okay?
732
00:57:07,792 --> 00:57:09,793
Are you kidding?
733
00:57:09,794 --> 00:57:12,562
If anybody's okay around
here, it's Beethoven.
734
00:57:12,563 --> 00:57:14,764
I mean, he's not making a mess.
He's not chasing the mailman.
735
00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:17,000
He's not even drooling.
736
00:57:17,001 --> 00:57:18,936
Sure, 'cause all he does
is lie around all day.
737
00:57:20,705 --> 00:57:23,807
Well, then I guess
he's just civilized.
738
00:57:23,808 --> 00:57:27,677
No! No, see, that's no good.
I need him to do something.
739
00:57:27,678 --> 00:57:30,514
- Like what?
- I don't know.
740
00:57:30,515 --> 00:57:33,450
Anything.
I need his inspiration.
741
00:57:35,219 --> 00:57:37,587
Come on, boy.
Pee on the rug.
742
00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:39,689
Just like old times.
Pee on the rug.
743
00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:41,691
Richard! Look, I'm
counting on him...
744
00:57:41,692 --> 00:57:44,227
to give me some ideas
for this new pet card thing.
745
00:57:44,228 --> 00:57:49,065
I'm dying out there, honey.
Come on, boy. Come on!
746
00:57:49,066 --> 00:57:53,069
Come on, boy, jump on
the couch. Rip up a pillow!
747
00:57:53,070 --> 00:57:55,505
Martha, I just don't see
what the problem is.
748
00:57:55,506 --> 00:57:57,807
He seems perfectly all right.
749
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:00,977
- He attacked your personal trainer this morning.
- That's fine with me.
750
00:58:00,978 --> 00:58:02,980
The man was making me
do leg lifts.
751
00:58:05,716 --> 00:58:08,552
I'm sorry. I just don't
see how this concerns us.
752
00:58:08,553 --> 00:58:10,720
I mean, can't the staff
handle this?
753
00:58:10,721 --> 00:58:14,691
This isn't about the staff.
It's about the family.
754
00:58:14,692 --> 00:58:17,761
- Well, then I think Madison should be here.
- You're absolutely right.
755
00:58:17,762 --> 00:58:22,098
- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
- Oh. Come in, honey.
756
00:58:22,099 --> 00:58:25,535
I would think you'd want to protect
your investment, if nothing else.
757
00:58:25,536 --> 00:58:27,804
Michelangelo doesn't
show anymore,
758
00:58:27,805 --> 00:58:29,640
but we could make quite
a bit putting him out to...
759
00:58:31,008 --> 00:58:32,877
S-T-U-D.
760
00:58:35,913 --> 00:58:39,584
Besides, if you recall, we
originally bought him as a family pet.
761
00:58:43,087 --> 00:58:45,789
All right.
762
00:58:45,790 --> 00:58:47,791
What did Dr. Brothers
think that we should do?
763
00:58:47,792 --> 00:58:50,994
We have to bring out
Michelangelo's inner puppy.
764
00:58:50,995 --> 00:58:53,830
Oh, good night, nurse.
Oh, Reg!
765
00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,935
All right, fine.
How?
766
00:58:58,936 --> 00:59:01,070
Cavort.
767
00:59:01,071 --> 00:59:03,873
Excuse me?
Run.
768
00:59:03,874 --> 00:59:06,576
Play.
Throw old tennis balls.
769
00:59:06,577 --> 00:59:08,945
The things real people do
with their real pets.
770
00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:12,682
Sounds like fun,
doesn't it, boy?
771
00:59:12,683 --> 00:59:15,652
I don't know how to cavort. Well,
I don't either. It's pathetic, isn't it?
772
00:59:19,690 --> 00:59:22,627
He wants to teach you how
to play. Here, Dad. Catch.
773
00:59:34,672 --> 00:59:36,774
- Bye, Dad.
- Ham and cheese, pickle on the side.
774
00:59:40,678 --> 00:59:42,846
- Bye, Dad.
- Mustard only, lettuce and avocado,
775
00:59:42,847 --> 00:59:45,081
sliced apple,
three cookies, Jell-O,
776
00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,716
string cheese, spoon,
napkin and a blue ice block.
777
00:59:46,717 --> 00:59:48,718
You got it.
778
00:59:55,125 --> 00:59:57,927
Well,
779
00:59:57,928 --> 01:00:00,096
I guess I'll go to work.
780
01:00:00,097 --> 01:00:02,699
Okay.
781
01:00:02,700 --> 01:00:04,001
- All right.
- See ya.
782
01:00:08,005 --> 01:00:09,707
Oh. Uh,
bye, Beethoven.
783
01:00:22,987 --> 01:00:25,655
Ah!
784
01:00:25,656 --> 01:00:28,091
I knew it.
785
01:00:28,092 --> 01:00:30,694
She'd never admit it
in a million years,
786
01:00:30,695 --> 01:00:32,863
but she misses the slobbering
old Beethoven too.
787
01:00:35,165 --> 01:00:38,434
Well, guess what, buddy.
He's coming back.
788
01:00:45,910 --> 01:00:48,212
Just like Mama
used to make! Yeah!
789
01:01:21,846 --> 01:01:24,948
Mr. Newton?
790
01:01:24,949 --> 01:01:27,017
Are-Are you okay?
791
01:01:34,124 --> 01:01:36,459
Sorry I brought the Book Club!
792
01:01:41,932 --> 01:01:44,200
Come on. Come on.
793
01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:46,871
Ohh.
794
01:01:57,047 --> 01:01:59,849
Ahh, a fragrant bouquet.
795
01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:02,820
Yeah.
It's subtle, yet brazen.
796
01:02:28,312 --> 01:02:31,848
Richard, what are you doing?
797
01:02:31,849 --> 01:02:34,184
Nothing. Why?
798
01:02:59,143 --> 01:03:03,046
One, two, three.
Hit the deck!
799
01:03:03,047 --> 01:03:06,850
Ahh, yeah!
800
01:03:06,851 --> 01:03:08,918
Yeah!
801
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:13,190
Oh, no, you don't!
Come back!
802
01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:37,113
Wow, Mom. I didn't know
you knew how to cook bacon.
803
01:03:37,114 --> 01:03:39,216
Well, I'm sad to say there's a
lot about me you don't know.
804
01:03:41,085 --> 01:03:43,186
Anyway,
805
01:03:43,187 --> 01:03:46,155
it's not real bacon.
806
01:03:46,156 --> 01:03:48,624
Really?
807
01:03:48,625 --> 01:03:50,360
'Cause...
808
01:03:54,598 --> 01:03:57,433
boy, it sure... it sure
tastes like the real stuff.
809
01:03:59,436 --> 01:04:03,439
Oh! I thought
the three of us...
810
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,376
could take Michelangelo and
try out the trail by the reservoir.
811
01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:11,314
Cool. Okay.
That would be cool.
812
01:04:11,315 --> 01:04:14,350
Okay. I'll have Simmons
bring the car around.
813
01:04:14,351 --> 01:04:17,086
I am here, sir.
814
01:04:17,087 --> 01:04:19,355
Oh.
Nice job, Simmons.
815
01:04:19,356 --> 01:04:21,457
Simmons, bring the car around.
816
01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,427
It would make my day, sir.
817
01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:44,447
Nigel, it's me.
818
01:04:44,448 --> 01:04:47,050
Me, you idiot.
819
01:04:47,051 --> 01:04:50,019
Listen to me.
They're going hiking...
820
01:04:50,020 --> 01:04:52,922
with the dog at the reservoir.
821
01:04:52,923 --> 01:04:55,424
No, not biking.
Hiking.
822
01:04:55,425 --> 01:04:58,394
Yes. The dog.
Meet me at the reservoir.
823
01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:01,331
Yes, right now, idiot.
824
01:05:13,143 --> 01:05:15,044
I didn't want to dirty
any glasses.
825
01:05:15,045 --> 01:05:17,047
Oh. Huh.
826
01:05:19,349 --> 01:05:21,484
Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
827
01:05:21,485 --> 01:05:25,021
Guys, wait.
Honey, sit down here.
828
01:05:25,022 --> 01:05:26,223
Beethoven and I have
something to show you.
829
01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:33,362
- Say good-bye.
- What?
830
01:05:33,363 --> 01:05:35,032
Go on.
Tell Beethoven good-bye.
831
01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:39,936
Good-bye.
832
01:05:43,040 --> 01:05:46,209
Ugh!
833
01:05:46,210 --> 01:05:50,279
- Eww! I thought he was over that!
- Me too.
834
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:54,450
Slobber, drool everywhere.
Isn't it great?
835
01:05:54,451 --> 01:05:57,086
Yeah, ask me again
when I dry off.
836
01:05:57,087 --> 01:05:59,422
We were so close!
837
01:05:59,423 --> 01:06:03,359
So close?
What do you mean?
838
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,029
Well, we didn't want to
tell you till it was over, but...
839
01:06:06,030 --> 01:06:10,099
We've been taking Beethoven
to obedience school.
840
01:06:10,100 --> 01:06:11,535
What? Yeah.
841
01:06:13,770 --> 01:06:16,039
Well, that explains
a few things.
842
01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:19,275
Yeah. But why?
Why would you...
843
01:06:19,276 --> 01:06:21,744
Because we wanted to keep him.
844
01:06:21,745 --> 01:06:23,513
And we figured if he was acting
better, then maybe we could.
845
01:06:29,386 --> 01:06:31,155
Well, you did a good job.
846
01:06:32,322 --> 01:06:34,991
Yeah. Almost too good.
847
01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:39,196
So, can we keep him?
848
01:06:41,365 --> 01:06:43,267
Oh...
849
01:06:58,615 --> 01:07:01,217
Okay, he can stay.
850
01:07:01,218 --> 01:07:03,786
- Yes!
- All right!
851
01:07:03,787 --> 01:07:08,057
Thanks, Mom!
Guess what.
852
01:07:08,058 --> 01:07:10,359
Beethoven's valedictorian
of his class. No kidding?
853
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:13,796
Whoa!
Hey, where'd he go?
854
01:07:18,502 --> 01:07:21,370
- He's drinking from the toilet!
- Oh!
855
01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:24,140
He's downing the whole bowl!
856
01:07:24,141 --> 01:07:27,143
Keep drinking, boy.
I'm gonna get my sketch pad.
857
01:07:27,144 --> 01:07:29,278
Brennan, go get Beethoven
out of the bathroom.
858
01:07:29,279 --> 01:07:31,814
Right.
859
01:07:31,815 --> 01:07:34,217
That's weird.
Yeah.
860
01:07:34,218 --> 01:07:36,120
Whew!
861
01:07:40,324 --> 01:07:42,558
All right. Come on.
There.
862
01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:46,529
Look at him mark the trail, huh,
Martha? Those were the days.
863
01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:49,432
You know, when I was a kid, my
dad took us all out west in a land yacht.
864
01:07:49,433 --> 01:07:52,335
What's that?
A motor home.
865
01:07:52,336 --> 01:07:55,171
- That sounds like fun.
- Oh, it was great fun.
866
01:07:55,172 --> 01:07:58,407
How about you, boy?
Huh?
867
01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:00,476
You've never been on vacation
in a motor home, have you?
868
01:08:00,477 --> 01:08:03,213
Whoa!
869
01:08:11,221 --> 01:08:14,223
Sir, I don't know if you saw the
signs back there, but it clearly said...
870
01:08:16,560 --> 01:08:20,329
Get in the car! Get in the
car! Put on your seat belt!
871
01:08:20,330 --> 01:08:22,166
Let's go! Go!
872
01:08:25,435 --> 01:08:29,138
- Daddy!
- That's horrible!
873
01:08:29,139 --> 01:08:31,574
Stop it!
He's got Michelangelo!
874
01:08:38,882 --> 01:08:41,684
Yes, it is part of the F.B.I.
internship program. Look it up in the manual.
875
01:08:41,685 --> 01:08:44,187
Now, listen. Two buttermilk, two
chocolate with rainbow sprinkles,
876
01:08:44,188 --> 01:08:46,355
four jelly-filled,
and go to Krispy Kreme.
877
01:08:46,356 --> 01:08:48,657
We get a discount there.
Put the box in my car.
878
01:08:48,658 --> 01:08:51,294
Yeah, with two coffees.
No sugar.
879
01:09:02,239 --> 01:09:05,141
Uh, the car is registered to
someone named "Niggel Bigelow."
880
01:09:09,313 --> 01:09:13,449
Nigel. The car is registered
to Nigel Bye-jelow.
881
01:09:13,450 --> 01:09:16,919
It's Nigel Bigelow.
882
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,622
Right.
883
01:09:19,623 --> 01:09:21,525
Whatever.
884
01:09:23,693 --> 01:09:25,728
Didn't even bother to remove
the plates from the vehicle.
885
01:09:25,729 --> 01:09:28,397
That's pretty sloppy.
886
01:09:28,398 --> 01:09:31,634
Now, the local cops have
his apartment staked out.
887
01:09:31,635 --> 01:09:34,570
The problem is that he knows that we
made him, since he abandoned his vehicle.
888
01:09:34,571 --> 01:09:37,540
So chances are that he
returns there are pretty slim.
889
01:09:37,541 --> 01:09:40,309
All we can do is
sit and wait. I, um...
890
01:09:40,310 --> 01:09:42,778
I hate to mention this
under the circumstances, sir,
891
01:09:42,779 --> 01:09:45,514
but, uh, I do have
that doctor's appointment.
892
01:09:45,515 --> 01:09:48,584
Oh, absolutely, Simmons.
893
01:09:48,585 --> 01:09:50,753
You've done enough for one day.
894
01:09:50,754 --> 01:09:54,357
Uh, I mean, if that's
all right with you guys.
895
01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:58,561
Yeah, sure, sure. It's best
to keep to a normal routine.
896
01:09:58,562 --> 01:10:00,729
We don't think that Bigelow
has an accomplice,
897
01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:02,798
but he could be
watching the house.
898
01:10:02,799 --> 01:10:05,501
Very good, sir.
899
01:10:05,502 --> 01:10:08,371
And, um, thank you, sir.
900
01:10:08,372 --> 01:10:11,340
Oh.
Here you are,
901
01:10:11,341 --> 01:10:14,510
Miss Madison.
902
01:10:14,511 --> 01:10:18,815
Well, cheerio.
903
01:10:46,009 --> 01:10:48,477
Back! Back,
dog! Back! Nice dog!
904
01:10:48,478 --> 01:10:50,746
Back in your
room. Back in your room.
905
01:10:50,747 --> 01:10:54,817
Don't... Get... Don't... Get...
Don't... Don't... Don't...
906
01:11:02,692 --> 01:11:05,429
Get back in the room!
907
01:11:07,764 --> 01:11:10,766
Well, Nigel,
908
01:11:10,767 --> 01:11:13,402
I see you have a firm command
of the situation, as usual.
909
01:11:13,403 --> 01:11:16,339
You lied. You said
he weren't a killer.
910
01:11:16,340 --> 01:11:20,376
He's not a killer.
You are an oaf.
911
01:11:20,377 --> 01:11:21,711
Yeah, whatever. Just get rid
of him. Come on, Michelangelo.
912
01:11:25,048 --> 01:11:27,451
And-And make sure you lock the
door! What are you doing with a chicken?
913
01:11:30,654 --> 01:11:34,089
Oh, have I told you
how much I...
914
01:11:34,090 --> 01:11:36,892
loathe giving you your kibble
morning, noon and night?
915
01:11:36,893 --> 01:11:39,863
No?
Well, let me show you.
916
01:11:42,532 --> 01:11:44,467
Lunch...
917
01:11:44,468 --> 01:11:46,436
is served, sir.
918
01:11:49,739 --> 01:11:52,608
Well,
919
01:11:52,609 --> 01:11:55,778
that wasn't too
difficult, was it?
920
01:11:55,779 --> 01:12:00,449
You can come down now, Nigel.
The killer doggie is safely put away.
921
01:12:00,450 --> 01:12:02,818
Yeah, well, that's okay for you,
922
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,388
but the bathroom's in there,
and eventually, I'll have to use it.
923
01:12:05,389 --> 01:12:07,823
Now listen to me.
924
01:12:07,824 --> 01:12:10,559
If we can get through all this
without you leaping atop the furniture...
925
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:14,096
every time the dog decides
to behave like a dog,
926
01:12:14,097 --> 01:12:17,601
then you can go to the bathroom on
the afternoon flight to Rio de Janeiro.
927
01:12:18,835 --> 01:12:22,638
Why?
928
01:12:22,639 --> 01:12:25,641
Oh, right. Yeah. Because we're
going to Brazil this afternoon.
929
01:12:25,642 --> 01:12:28,844
Yeah, yeah, I remember. I
packed my maracas. I can use...
930
01:12:28,845 --> 01:12:30,614
Shut up and read this.
It's your lines.
931
01:12:34,884 --> 01:12:36,586
Glasses.
932
01:12:52,769 --> 01:12:55,604
Oh, come on.
933
01:12:55,605 --> 01:12:57,606
It wasn't me.
It was the whoopie.
934
01:12:57,607 --> 01:12:59,509
Phone.
935
01:13:35,211 --> 01:13:36,946
Hello?
936
01:13:39,516 --> 01:13:42,452
- Hello?
- Speak clearly.
937
01:13:44,488 --> 01:13:46,723
Ransom note.
The puppy, you twit!
938
01:13:49,526 --> 01:13:51,927
I have your dog.
939
01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:55,598
Put 250,000
in a plain paper bag...
940
01:13:55,599 --> 01:13:58,901
behind the statue
in Civic Center Park.
941
01:13:58,902 --> 01:14:02,805
No police. You have
till 4:00 "pumm" today.
942
01:14:02,806 --> 01:14:05,207
P.M., you twit!
943
01:14:05,208 --> 01:14:07,009
4:00 p.m., you twit.
944
01:14:07,010 --> 01:14:09,878
250,000 what?
945
01:14:09,879 --> 01:14:14,249
- 250,000 dollars.
- Dollars?
946
01:14:14,250 --> 01:14:16,620
- Dollars.
- By 4:00?
947
01:14:24,060 --> 01:14:25,961
And make it all in unmarked...
948
01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:29,632
twenty-dollar bills.
949
01:14:29,633 --> 01:14:34,637
- I don't know if I can do that.
- If you ever want to see that mutt again,
950
01:14:34,638 --> 01:14:37,239
you'll do exactly what I say.
951
01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:40,576
No police.
No mistakes.
952
01:14:40,577 --> 01:14:42,645
You put him on the phone.
I want to talk to him.
953
01:14:49,619 --> 01:14:52,054
He's okay. All right.
Just don't hurt him.
954
01:14:59,262 --> 01:15:01,730
- Did you just...
- No. No, I didn't.
955
01:15:01,731 --> 01:15:03,732
It was the dog.
956
01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:06,669
4:00 p.m.
957
01:15:06,670 --> 01:15:08,538
You idiot.
958
01:15:14,010 --> 01:15:16,745
Where are you going?
I'm going to the bank.
959
01:15:16,746 --> 01:15:19,715
Hah!
I told him, didn't I?
960
01:15:19,716 --> 01:15:22,985
Oh, yes.
You were superb.
961
01:15:22,986 --> 01:15:26,656
Now, I have to leave.
Listen to me.
962
01:15:29,759 --> 01:15:31,060
Are you listening to me?
963
01:15:32,729 --> 01:15:34,897
Yeah, I think.
964
01:15:34,898 --> 01:15:38,668
Don't... let...
him... out.
965
01:15:41,137 --> 01:15:43,039
Who?
966
01:15:44,774 --> 01:15:47,811
The dog!
967
01:15:51,681 --> 01:15:54,617
I got it. The dog.
I got it. Don't worry.
968
01:15:54,618 --> 01:15:56,953
Don't worry.
He's not going anywhere.
969
01:16:41,698 --> 01:16:44,600
Look at him. He's
so handsome. Yeah.
970
01:16:47,203 --> 01:16:51,006
Now I know why Brennan was so
gung ho about this. Yeah, she's cute.
971
01:16:51,007 --> 01:16:54,042
I wonder if she's the one who's
been doing his math homework.
972
01:16:54,043 --> 01:16:56,945
Hey, how 'bout this?
"Dear master.
973
01:16:56,946 --> 01:16:59,882
"It's our anniversary.
I see you've raised your cup.
974
01:16:59,883 --> 01:17:01,984
"So I drink a toast to us,
975
01:17:01,985 --> 01:17:04,020
and will never leave
the seat up."
976
01:18:09,052 --> 01:18:11,855
Be careful, honey.
Yeah.
977
01:18:49,525 --> 01:18:52,762
Is he gonna be all right?
He's gonna be all right, isn't he?
978
01:18:54,964 --> 01:18:56,900
Tell me he's going
to be all right.
979
01:19:23,226 --> 01:19:25,995
♪
980
01:20:04,033 --> 01:20:06,068
Uh, congratulations.
All right.
981
01:20:06,069 --> 01:20:08,404
Thank you.
Come on.
982
01:20:17,914 --> 01:20:19,382
Take a bite of this one.
There you go.
983
01:20:31,327 --> 01:20:33,595
There he is!
That's the thief!
984
01:20:33,596 --> 01:20:36,832
- Who?
- Stay here.
985
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:47,209
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
986
01:20:47,210 --> 01:20:50,980
Reg! Wait!
We're right behind you!
987
01:21:23,012 --> 01:21:25,680
There he goes.
988
01:21:28,184 --> 01:21:30,086
Push.
989
01:21:44,067 --> 01:21:45,468
You gotta quit smoking, pal.
990
01:21:55,478 --> 01:21:59,081
It's empty!
There's no money!
991
01:21:59,082 --> 01:22:01,716
This ain't right. Johnny
said we was in this together.
992
01:22:01,717 --> 01:22:04,286
Why'd he rat me out?
993
01:22:04,287 --> 01:22:08,123
Johnny?
J...
994
01:22:08,124 --> 01:22:09,959
Jonathan Simmons?
995
01:22:27,343 --> 01:22:29,945
Michelangelo.
What are you doing here?
996
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:37,019
Good boy. Stay.
997
01:22:37,020 --> 01:22:40,322
Stay there.
It's all right. Yes.
998
01:22:40,323 --> 01:22:43,459
Good boy. Stay.
999
01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:47,295
Stay.
1000
01:22:47,296 --> 01:22:49,232
Good boy.
1001
01:23:00,476 --> 01:23:03,211
Oh, no.
Well?
1002
01:23:03,212 --> 01:23:05,514
I put it right here.
It's gone! Oh, no.
1003
01:23:10,486 --> 01:23:13,221
This class's valedictorian...
1004
01:23:13,222 --> 01:23:15,257
is one in a million.
1005
01:23:15,258 --> 01:23:18,493
A champion among canines.
1006
01:23:18,494 --> 01:23:21,564
Noblest of a noble breed.
Beethoven, front and center.
1007
01:23:27,770 --> 01:23:30,073
All right,
Beethoven! All right!
1008
01:23:34,477 --> 01:23:37,212
All right.
Come on.
1009
01:23:37,213 --> 01:23:40,282
He reminds me of a dog
I knew during the war.
1010
01:23:40,283 --> 01:23:42,317
A stalwart pup.
1011
01:23:42,318 --> 01:23:45,621
Brave, loyal, true.
1012
01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:50,325
And so, without any further ado,
1013
01:23:50,326 --> 01:23:53,195
How much more ado
can there possibly be?
1014
01:23:53,196 --> 01:23:57,099
It is my pleasure to introduce
this class's valedictorian,
1015
01:23:57,100 --> 01:23:59,635
and an outstanding trouper,
Beethoven!
1016
01:24:16,852 --> 01:24:21,156
Get organized. Stop that!
1017
01:24:27,163 --> 01:24:31,299
Watch out!
Sit! Down!
1018
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:34,569
For gosh sakes, people,
you're acting like animals!
1019
01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:37,240
Cease and desist!
Look out!
1020
01:24:39,408 --> 01:24:42,344
At ease!
1021
01:24:42,345 --> 01:24:45,481
You little flea bag!
1022
01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:50,352
Whoa!
1023
01:24:50,353 --> 01:24:52,854
Look out!
Help!
1024
01:25:03,132 --> 01:25:04,667
Whoa!
1025
01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:14,642
Michelangelo!
1026
01:25:14,643 --> 01:25:17,280
Where are you, Michelangelo?
1027
01:25:18,481 --> 01:25:20,283
Where are you?
1028
01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:38,466
Michelangelo!
1029
01:25:38,467 --> 01:25:40,336
Beethoven!
1030
01:25:41,904 --> 01:25:44,507
Where are you going?
1031
01:25:45,941 --> 01:25:48,943
Oh.
1032
01:25:48,944 --> 01:25:52,214
Sara, bring me the leash.
1033
01:25:52,215 --> 01:25:55,250
Ow! Ooh! Ow, get
your nose out of there!
1034
01:25:57,720 --> 01:26:00,289
Dogs, you...
1035
01:26:03,726 --> 01:26:06,661
Easy. Oop!
1036
01:26:06,662 --> 01:26:08,763
Beethoven, don't ever
run away like that.
1037
01:26:08,764 --> 01:26:12,667
That was weird.
1038
01:26:12,668 --> 01:26:14,670
F.B.I., Simmons.
Hold it right there.
1039
01:26:17,273 --> 01:26:18,774
Uh-oh.
1040
01:26:29,485 --> 01:26:32,687
You got him? Well,
excellent work, Detectives.
1041
01:26:32,688 --> 01:26:35,490
You mean,
excellent work, brother.
1042
01:26:35,491 --> 01:26:39,562
Right, brother?
Hah! Ratted you back.
1043
01:26:41,297 --> 01:26:43,631
You always were a selfish,
1044
01:26:43,632 --> 01:26:46,000
smelly little man.
1045
01:26:46,001 --> 01:26:47,802
And I thought we were
in this together.
1046
01:26:47,803 --> 01:26:51,673
Well, you thought wrong.
1047
01:26:51,674 --> 01:26:54,709
Hey, hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1048
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:57,011
Why did you do it?
1049
01:26:57,012 --> 01:27:00,515
Do you remember SedgePro 97?
1050
01:27:00,516 --> 01:27:03,318
Are you kidding me?
1051
01:27:03,319 --> 01:27:05,620
It's the only piece of software
I ever created.
1052
01:27:05,621 --> 01:27:07,455
That lost millions
for our investors.
1053
01:27:07,456 --> 01:27:10,359
Of which I was one.
1054
01:27:11,627 --> 01:27:14,229
Oh. Sorry.
1055
01:27:22,471 --> 01:27:24,740
Madison, I'm sure
the agents will find him.
1056
01:27:26,775 --> 01:27:29,411
You don't even really care.
1057
01:27:29,412 --> 01:27:31,846
He's just some
investment to you.
1058
01:27:31,847 --> 01:27:34,417
I heard you tell Daddy.
1059
01:27:36,752 --> 01:27:39,687
Michelangelo loves me more
than anybody else in the world.
1060
01:27:39,688 --> 01:27:41,724
Maybe even more than you.
1061
01:27:43,559 --> 01:27:45,561
Oh, Madison, that's not true.
1062
01:27:53,636 --> 01:27:55,404
It's just that we've
forgotten how to show it.
1063
01:28:16,659 --> 01:28:18,760
Michelangelo?
1064
01:28:18,761 --> 01:28:21,464
Michelangelo!
1065
01:28:47,523 --> 01:28:49,758
May I have the leash for him?
1066
01:28:52,895 --> 01:28:56,631
"What is it about this dog,"
you may ask,
1067
01:28:56,632 --> 01:28:58,833
"that merits this honor?"
1068
01:28:58,834 --> 01:29:01,836
Well, I can sum it up
in one word:
1069
01:29:01,837 --> 01:29:04,473
"A"... discipline;
1070
01:29:06,542 --> 01:29:09,811
two... obedience;
1071
01:29:09,812 --> 01:29:12,914
and "D"...
1072
01:29:12,915 --> 01:29:14,949
overlooking any temptations...
1073
01:29:14,950 --> 01:29:18,586
that may pass
right in front of his nose.
1074
01:29:18,587 --> 01:29:20,922
- Uh, Sgt. Rutledge...
- At ease, son. I'm on a roll.
1075
01:29:20,923 --> 01:29:23,425
- But I got...
- Just... Mmmm!
1076
01:29:23,426 --> 01:29:25,827
Just remember:
1077
01:29:25,828 --> 01:29:28,896
Until your dog is
properly trained,
1078
01:29:28,897 --> 01:29:31,900
never let go of the leash.
1079
01:29:34,403 --> 01:29:37,505
Uh-oh. Ah-ooh!
1080
01:29:41,477 --> 01:29:43,945
Beethoven!
1081
01:29:43,946 --> 01:29:48,650
Yeah. His old self again.
What a card this'll make.
1082
01:29:48,651 --> 01:29:50,985
That's our dog!
1083
01:29:50,986 --> 01:29:52,888
Beethoven!
1084
01:30:09,772 --> 01:30:12,575
No.
1085
01:30:21,884 --> 01:30:24,652
♪ Well, everybody thinks I'm
just a little out of place ♪
1086
01:30:24,653 --> 01:30:27,855
♪ But who can blame me
1087
01:30:27,856 --> 01:30:30,625
♪ I'm tryin' hard to fit in
but it'll be okay ♪
1088
01:30:30,626 --> 01:30:33,828
♪ Once you train me
1089
01:30:33,829 --> 01:30:37,231
♪ Show me all your moves
1090
01:30:37,232 --> 01:30:39,967
♪ I'll show you
who's walkin' who ♪
1091
01:30:39,968 --> 01:30:42,937
♪ Come, stay, speak, sit
1092
01:30:42,938 --> 01:30:46,474
♪ New dog, old tricks
1093
01:30:46,475 --> 01:30:49,477
♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪
1094
01:30:49,478 --> 01:30:51,713
♪ Chasin' balls
and fetchin' sticks ♪
1095
01:30:51,714 --> 01:30:54,916
♪ I'm your new best friend
1096
01:30:54,917 --> 01:30:57,985
♪ New dog, old tricks
1097
01:30:57,986 --> 01:31:01,489
♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits
1098
01:31:01,490 --> 01:31:03,958
good as this ♪ ♪ I
never had it good as this
1099
01:31:03,959 --> 01:31:06,961
♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks ♪
1100
01:31:12,835 --> 01:31:15,670
♪ Hey, if you think you're
gonna get me to heel for you ♪
1101
01:31:15,671 --> 01:31:18,940
♪ Don't bother
1102
01:31:18,941 --> 01:31:21,576
♪ 'Cause you'll be slippin' and
slidin' and swimmin' knee deep ♪
1103
01:31:21,577 --> 01:31:24,712
♪ In slobber
1104
01:31:24,713 --> 01:31:28,249
♪ There's a new pooch
on the block ♪
1105
01:31:28,250 --> 01:31:30,985
♪ I'll show you
who'll be top dog ♪
1106
01:31:30,986 --> 01:31:33,921
♪ Eat, sleep, bark, sniff
1107
01:31:33,922 --> 01:31:37,291
♪ New dog, old tricks
1108
01:31:37,292 --> 01:31:40,094
♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪
1109
01:31:40,095 --> 01:31:42,730
♪ Chasin' balls
or fetchin' sticks ♪
1110
01:31:42,731 --> 01:31:45,933
♪ I'm your new best friend
1111
01:31:45,934 --> 01:31:48,970
♪ New dog, old tricks
1112
01:31:48,971 --> 01:31:51,873
♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits
1113
01:31:51,874 --> 01:31:55,009
♪ Never had it good as this
1114
01:31:55,010 --> 01:31:57,712
♪ I'm a new dog Old tricks ♪
1115
01:32:28,010 --> 01:32:30,778
♪ Well, everybody thinks I'm
just a little out of place ♪
1116
01:32:30,779 --> 01:32:33,881
♪ But who can blame me
1117
01:32:33,882 --> 01:32:36,618
♪ I'm tryin' hard to fit in
but it'll be okay ♪
1118
01:32:36,619 --> 01:32:39,854
♪ Once you train me
1119
01:32:39,855 --> 01:32:43,124
♪ Show me all your moves
1120
01:32:43,125 --> 01:32:45,927
♪ I'll show you
who's walkin' who ♪
1121
01:32:45,928 --> 01:32:49,030
♪ Come, stay, speak, sit
1122
01:32:49,031 --> 01:32:52,166
♪ New dog, old tricks
1123
01:32:52,167 --> 01:32:55,102
♪ No more fleas No more ticks ♪
1124
01:32:55,103 --> 01:32:57,805
♪ Chasin' balls
and fetchin' sticks ♪
1125
01:32:57,806 --> 01:33:00,975
♪ I'm your new best friend
1126
01:33:00,976 --> 01:33:03,945
♪ New dog, old tricks
1127
01:33:03,946 --> 01:33:06,948
♪ Caviar-flavored biscuits
1128
01:33:06,949 --> 01:33:09,817
♪ Never had it good as this
1129
01:33:09,818 --> 01:33:13,088
♪ I'm a new dog
with old tricks ♪
82010
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